It seems that there's a bit of a miscommunication problem between everyone.
I hope you enjoy!
Warnings: Violence, Choking, Angst. Still in the process of writing so check here for new warnings as I go!
If you want to be kept up to date with any upcoming stories or want to ask me to write a story for you please follow me on Facebook 'SilverMidnight52' or on Tumblr under SilverMidnightWrite! I own nothing.
Flipping the channel once more Luca did his best not to glance at his friend for what felt like the hundredth time since he sat down. When he had left work he had been stopped by not only Hondo but Deacon and Tan too asking him to keep an eye on his roommate.
At first he had wanted to blow them off. What did they think he was doing anyway? No one had a near-death experience like Street did and came out the other side without needing some time. Of course he was going to watch to make sure the man knew that everything was going to be okay and that all of them were there if he needed them.
As soon as he looked really looked at them though he saw how truly worried all of them were. It felt as if they knew something that they weren't sharing with him. Something that annoyed him to no end. Those weren't the type of secrets people should keep.
At the same time, he understood. If they told him what they were thinking and those thoughts had no merit or evidence than things were just going to end up worse. They needed someone to be a neutral third party. That was him.
So he had promised them that he would watch out for Street and tell them if something was going on with him. Even though in the back of his mind he thought they were just worrying for no reason at all. At least he had thought he was sure.
He had only been home from work for a little over an hour and he knew that something bad had happened while he was gone. It was clear in everything that Street did that he wasn't feeling okay, but Luca had no idea how he was supposed to start a conversation.
When he had walked in the door his friend had been curled up on the couch with a blanket laying over him, Duke laying over his legs, and a laptop in his lap. He had greeted him, but his eyes never left the screen.
That could have been dismissed as him feeling a way about not being able to work. Something that he was sure he'd feel if he was in Street's shoes. It sucked having to sit around doing nothing while the team continued without you. Something in him said that wasn't what was going on though.
After quickly changing into some lounge wear he joined his friend on the couch and turned on the TV. Any other time the younger man would have an opinion on what was playing. This time he kept typing away on his laptop as if Luca wasn't even there.
He was so focused on whatever he was doing. The only time he was ever that focused was when they were working a case, but he knew that wasn't what was going on. He didn't have access to their cases on his personal laptop. None of them did. There were too many risks for that to be a thing.
So he sat there waiting for Street to say anything to him or to Duke. Hell, he'd even take him muttering under his breath at that point. The only sound that came from that direction though was the tapping of keys on a keyboard.
Okay, so that wasn't really unusual for the younger man. Street wasn't really a loud or talkative person when he didn't have to be. In truth, the younger man was one of the quietest people that he had ever met. At least, he was the second time around of them living together.
The first few nights he had really been afraid that the man was scared of upsetting him or of being kicked out. It was almost as if he was afraid of him. Something that had hurt him a lot more than he though. No, that was a lie. It hurt him exactly as much as it should have.
Luca was fully aware that he had gone a little overboard with how he treated Street. They had been not only teammates, but best friends. And he had treated the younger man as if he was something on the bottom of his shoe.
At the time he had felt as if he'd been betrayed by Street. Being on SWAT meant something. It wasn't just a team. It was a family. One that was there for any and everything. You couldn't just walk away from that as if it meant nothing. That's exactly what it had felt like the man had done.
All of his life he had been raised with the idea of a strong family. Both inside and out of SWAT they had been a family unit and fully believed that they were a family. It had even been like that when he was a kid and his dad was on the team. That's one of the reasons he joined in the first place.
He loved being a part of a family more than anything. Of having a group of people that were by his side through thick and thin. People that he never had to doubt or question. That was why they worked as well as they did on the field. They had complete faith in the team to have their backs so they didn't have to worry or second guess their safety.
He wasn't delusional enough to believe that everyone thought of family the same as he did. He knew that a lot of people didn't have that kind of structure in their life like he did. Some people didn't have any kind of structure in their life.
At the same time though he knew Street. He had seen the younger man grow as a person and watched him start to open up to them. He had seen the longing and the love that he felt. He had watched everyone on the team open their arms to him.
Street wasn't the type of person to just walk away from those he cared about without a second thought. That wasn't him. He was damn near sure it would take literal death to make him leave and even than a ghost Street might be floating around watching over them all.
In the back of his mind he knew that it wasn't out of nowhere or for nothing. It wasn't as if he had meet a random person on the street and decided to run away with them. It was his mother. It was the only family he thought he had left. Of course he picked her.
Sometimes though Luca found himself wishing that they had the relationship they had now. The one where even saying some hard truths didn't mean losing the person. It just meant that they truly loved you.
He wasn't exactly sure what he would say to the younger man about his mother, but he would have tried. He would have tried anything to get him to stop and think for a moment. To see what was obvious to everyone else.
Maybe it wouldn't have changed anything. No, it definitely wouldn't have changed anything, but trying was better than nothing. He would never be able to forgive himself for not stepping up when his friend needed him.
Not that any of that really mattered anymore. That part was over and done with. They had moved passed it and were friends again. If he was honest he was pretty sure their friendship was a lot stronger than it had been before.
Which was why he wasn't really surprised that Street was quiet. That was just who he was. Although usually not as quiet as eh was currently being. Maybe he was being quiet because he was still hurting and he didn't want Luca to worry. Or because he was tired. Either could be true.
Except there was something deep in him that he had learned to listen to a long time ago screaming that something else was going on. It wouldn't have matter how loud or quiet his friend was being. There was something wrong.
At the moment he kind of wanted to curse at his friends for not giving him more to go on than 'watch Street closely'. What was it exactly that they were worried about? What had happened to him physically or that something had happened mentally that they didn't know of?
Now that he was actually looking at Street though he knew they were leaning more towards the latter than the former. Seeing him practically curled in on himself was wrong. He just didn't know what enough to feel like he could do anything. The man in front of him just didn't look like his friend.
"Street," Luca started his eyes flicking between the TV and his friend while fiddling with the remote, "What are you doing over there?"
He had been fully expecting to hear Street stutter out an excuse or slam the laptop shut so he couldn't see what was going on. Hell, he had already figured out that he was going to make a joke about watching porn in the living room.
That wasn't what happened though. Instead the younger man acting as if he hadn't heard him at all. Given the fact that his eyes didn't even leave the screen he wouldn't be surprised if the man hadn't heard a single word he had said. Leaning back he quickly confirmed that there were no earbuds in his ears.
It was obvious that Street was completely wrapped up in what he was doing. Under any other circumstance Luca would probably go back to watching whatever was on and leave the man to focus on it.
Nothing about this was normal though. If the others were right than the last thing Street should be doing was getting stuck in his own head. That was always a slippery slope when fighting with ones own thoughts.
At the same time though maybe it was what he needed. He could remember just how difficult it was for him to work through some of the things that happened on the job. Especially something like what happened with Baylon. Whatever it was that had actually happened with him.
It's completely possible that that's what Street was doing. Typing out what had happened and going over it in his mind trying to piece together what it was that he was feeling. It was a fairly healthy way of facing things and it wasn't as if he really had any time to do that when he was in the hospital.
All of that was speculation though. Luca had no idea what his friend was doing. Whether it was helping or hindering him in someway. That seemed to be the theme of the day though. Confused and maybe even a little scared.
"Street," he called out a little louder needing to get the rock out of the pit of his stomach.
Luca couldn't help flinching as he watched his friend practically jumped out of his skin. For a split moment there was pure fear in the mans eyes and he knew that he would have pulled his gun if he had it on him.
That look told him all that he needed to know. Whatever it was that Street was doing he wasn't doing to help himself. At least, he wasn't… He wasn't going about it for the right reason, All he was going to do was get himself, and possibly someone else, hurt. Badly.
"Hey, it's just me," Luca offered holding his hands up a weak smile tugging on his lips.
For a moment Street just stared at him as if he had no idea what was going on. Blinking his eyes slowly they seemed to come back in focus as he took in Luca's face. That look sent a shiver down his spine as concern jolted through him.
"What?" Street asked his voice soft and gravely enough to make them both wince.
"Are you okay?" he asked even though he knew he wasn't going to get a truthful answer.
"Yeah. I'm fine. Sorry. Must have gotten lost in thought. What's up?"
"Just wondering what has you all wrapped up. You've barely looked away from your laptop since I got home and it's almost dinner. I know you have to be careful with what you eat right now, but you're usually starving around this time."
"Oh. Right."
Without saying another word Street focused back on his laptop. It was almost as if everything that he had said had fled from his mind as soon as he was done talking. Feeling the knot in his stomach tighten Luca reached out and tugged the device out of his friends hands.
"Street," Luca muttered watching as the younger man stared at his now empty lap, "What's really going on with you?"
"I…" Street started before clearing his throat, "Yeah. Sorry. A little lost in thought. I'm fine."
"That wasn't what I asked."
"It wasn't? What did you ask?"
"I asked what was going on with you. You're not acting like yourself."
"I was just trying to read. Between my head aching and the meds the doctor has been on I having a hard time concentrating. That's all. Really, Luca, I'm fine."
"Your head still bothering you? I thought you said it was getting better when you left the hospital?"
"I did. It's just a little. Probably from pushing myself to stay awake instead of napping today. You know I'm not a huge fan of napping unless I have to. I guess I shouldn't have pushed it today. It's not a big deal. I should be fine in the morning."
Hearing the younger man explain away what was going on Luca almost wanted to believe him. It sounded completely possible. Head injuries and medication had a tendency to throw everything out of wack. Street could easily just be feeling the affects of that.
Except the longer Street talked the more he was sure that wasn't what was going on. At least not fully. Underneath everything there was this tone that he couldn't identify, but one that he knew he couldn't let go.
At that moment there were so many things that he wanted to ask, but none of the words wanted to form on his tongue. He didn't have nearly enough information to get into a real and deep conversation with his friend. Especially a conversation that would help.
"Jim," he tried to start his brain kicking into overdrive trying to find something to say.
"What are you watching?" Street asked turning away from him.
"No."
Grabbing the remote Luca turned the TV off and moved so he was facing his friend. The two of them sat there in silence both waiting for the other to say something. At least, he was waiting for Street to say something. Anything. Hell. He'd take anger or his friend blowing him off. Anything to have the man show any kind of emotion.
Instead Street simply turned to look at him. Staring at him in a way that made it seem as if he seeing right through him. Letting out a soft sigh Luca forced himself to take a deep breath trying to prepare himself for what was about to come.
"Talk to me, Street," Luca said his voice lowering without thought.
"Don't take that tone with me," Street muttered lowly, "I fucking hate that tone."
For the first time that day he could identify the emotion in his friends voice. It was anger, but he could still almost sob in happiness. It didn't matter to him that it was only for a moment. All that mattered was that Street sounded like Street.
"What tone?" he asked confused.
"The victim tone," Street rolled his eyes before glaring at the floor.
Nodding his head slowly Luca took another deep breath before clearing his throat. He hadn't meant to take that tone, but, in his defense, that was exactly how Street seemed to him. It felt like he needed to protect the man from whatever he was feeling.
"Sorry, Street offered a crooked smile coming to his lips, "I just… I just hate that tone."
"Okay," Luca nodded his head, "Fair enough. I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was doing it. I'm still worried about you, man."
"Dr. Wells thinks that-"
"Not physically, Street. I know that you're getting better. That's not what I'm worried about."
"Luca."
"You're not acting like yourself and you know it."
Street stared at him for a moment and Luca felt his heart drop. The anger that had been there just a moment before seemed to fade away before his eyes as his friend practically curled in on himself. Everything in him was screaming at him to gather his friend in his arms or touch him in some way. Except he knew that doing that would only cause the man to leave all the quicker.
"Jim, what's going on with you?" Luca tried once more feeling more than a little desperate.
"I'm just tired," Street replied repeating what he had said before, "That's all."
"Jim."
"I…"
Hearing the younger man stutter slightly he couldn't help shaking his head. The man couldn't even say a full sentence without it falling apart. It was almost as if his thoughts were pulling him in more than one direction.
"There's nothing really wrong," Street repeated picking up his laptop, "I just have a lot on my mind."
"Like Baylon?" Luca asked wondering if he was opening the flood gates.
"I haven't really thought about Baylon. I haven't had the time. I know you're worried, Luca, but I really am fine. Just a little tired. In fact, I think I'm going to go to bed. Goodnight, Luca."
"Night, Street."
Hearing Street's bedroom door shut tightly he let his head drop back on the couch. After taking a few minutes to calm himself down Luca reached for his phone and sent a message to Tan demanding more information. He couldn't help if he had no idea what he was doing.