Bella PoV

After Jacob left, I remained in the middle of the room, arms crossed. I couldn't move, wouldn't move while the thoughts rushed through my head.

Over and over I heard his last words, his accusations. Was it true? Was I still clinging to the past refusing to live in the present or see the future?

I saw more clearly now how stupid I had been yesterday. I had so desperately wanted to see Edward again, ignoring the danger it got me into. Cliff diving in the middle of a storm was a really, really bad idea and it frightened me how easy the decision had been. I didn't care about me anymore; all I wanted was to see Edward again. I didn't care about me or the people I loved. Had I died yesterday what would have become of Charlie? Of Renee? Of...

And he was right. I could have died, and Edward wouldn't now and least of all care. He didn't love me, saw me as little more than a pet and still I was willingly putting myself in danger for him. After all, I would have died to be with him, be like him what is a little cliff diving compared to this?

After what seemed to be hours, I was finally able to drag myself out of this stupor. I cleaned the dirty dishes and the glasses then sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. Idly I switched through the channels, not really seeing what I was watching while the same words were turning over and over in my head.

He left you Bella and instead of moving on you hang to the past ignoring everything else. Someday one of your stupid actions will get you killed, and he won't even care

Heavy footsteps approached and a key turned. The door opened and Charlie came in, fishing rod and cooling bag in his hands. His face was sun burned and he smiled brightly.

"Hey sleepy head." He greeted me, putting down his fishing gear. "Finally awake I see?"

I smiled back at him. "Yeah, I was really tired yesterday. Thanks for letting me sleep in today though."

"Thought you needed the sleep. You've been awfully pale these last days." For him, this was a really long conversation. Fishing must have gone well.

"I'm heading to Billy's for dinner. Want to come? You can hang out with Jacob while we watch the game."

Now, he really began to worry me. Switching off the TV, I turned my head in his direction. Sure enough, the expression on his face was that of worry but also discomfort.

When he saw my questioning looks, he sighed. "Bells, you have been staying in the house for far too long. You never see any of your friends, never go out. And I thought you liked Jacob."

"Yeah, I do. But tonight..." I started but when I saw his desperate eyes I gave up. "Well, tonight's great. Saves me the cooking."

A huge grin turned on his face. "Well, let me just put the fish in the freezer, get a shower and change and then I'm good to go."

Half an hour later we were driving in my old truck (Charlie didn't trust me with his own car and maybe later would be too drunk to drive himself) down to the reservation. My stomach bubbled from all the mixed-up feelings I had inside. Anger for Jake yelling all these accusations at me. Fear that he would leave me now just as Edward had. And above all the same question Is he right?

Billy waited for us on the porch, a blanket put over his legs, and an already open beer can in his hand. He waved when he saw us pulling in.

"So, the old lady is still running?" he grinned.

"Yup." Charlie petted the hood and was greeted by a sputter of the motor. "Your kid did good work on her."

"Always had had a hand when it comes down to ladies." Both men laughed while I rolled my eyes. Was there anything worse than two old men joking about the young generation?

"Come in. Sue's made her special casserole for us. Bella, Jacob is in the garage I think." I understood the hint and took off towards the back garage where we had spent so many hours fixing the motorcycles so I could have my adrenalin rush. Well, Jake did the fixing while I did the talking. Images came to my mind, Jake with his still long hair pulled back in a ponytail laughing at some stupid joke I made. Jake and I sitting on the dirty floor, eating pizza. His half with bacon, mine with pineapples. Jake telling me about his life in the reservation, about old Quileute legends and traditions. Jake just looking at me with these dark eyes so full of...

"Bella?" The sound of his voice snapped me out of my daydreams. I hadn't realised I was already standing in front of the garage doors where Jacob was sitting on a tattered wooden bench. "What are you doing here?"

He stood up and obviously not sure how to greet me pushed his hands in the pockets of his shorts. As usual he didn't wear a shirt so his muscular, copper skinned chest was bare. I had to swallow hard and kept my gaze firmly on his face.

"Charlie is visiting your father for dinner and the game and practically dragged me along. You can hang out with Jacob while we watch the game." I said, imitating the tone of Charlie's voice. My attempts to lighten up the mood seemed to go well because Jacob laughed his old laugh, the one that had been there before... everything.

"He'll do anything to get me out of the house. He thinks I spent too much time inside on my own." I sighed. For that, Jake gave me a very light punch on the arm which would nonetheless give me a bruise tomorrow. Frankly, I didn't care. As long as this weird thing that had come up between us vanished, I would take any bruise. "He is not wrong in that you know. You really spent more time outside; I mean just look at your skin." Jacob teased me.

"Ha, ha, very funny."

We walked up to the house side by side, chatting about this and that like in the old days. Inside the smell of Sue Clearwater's special casserole. I noticed its size, which would have been enough for an entire army but would probably barely be enough to feed the three men at the table.

Dinner was loud and happy. Charlie told us about his fishing trip today and how he nearly drowned trying to pull a big fish in. "In the end, I let him go. Someone who fights so bravely for his life deserves to live it." He finished. The looks we other three exchanged escaped him.

After dinner, I offered to do the washing up but Bill told us to leave everything in the sink. The two men settled in front of the TV to watch the game.

"Wanna go outside? There's something I wanted to show you." Jake asked and I, curiosity awakening, followed him.