It was late in the morning when Raminus woke up feeling quite cramped and hot in his narrow bed in the Guild dormitories. His fellow mages were shuffling around, changing clothes and slamming books on the floor. A pair of students gossiped loudly over in the corner, and one of them giggled. As he awoke, Raminus became aware of a warm body pressed against his back. Before Elisif's return into his life, such a thing was not unheard of after a night of heavy drinking and revelry, though he generally had more discretion than to flaunt his sex life in front of the entire guild. With a groan Raminus rolled over just enough to see who had staggered into his bed, only to find Elisif herself curled up against him. He'd never seen her in the dormitories at all, much less sleeping in public. It was too open, too exposed for her. She'd told him more than once that the only reason she accepted to title of Arch-Mage was for the private chambers, and he could understand why. The times he stayed there were so silent that it was hard to believe the place was in the Imperial City at all. It was a far cry from the mad giggles that often accompanied his presence, enough to make him regret his unfortunate years spent whoring. At least the incessant giggling that bombarded the dorm at that moment wasn't directed at him specifically.

"Why is she in here?" The giggling girl asked her companion. "Do you think she's alright?"

"I'm surprised she sleeps at all. Every rumor I hear involves the Archmage off in one city or another, closing Oblivion gates and visiting daedric shrines. The woman's practically a walking legend; I never thought she'd be cuddled up to Raminus Polus." The male companion sounded scandalized. The girl laughed again, and Raminus proceeded to sit up and throw a glare their way.

"Don't you two have some studies to tend to? Out."

The two shuffled quickly from the room, apologizing to the Master Wizard on their way out but not before taking another glance at his bedmate. Raminus turned his bleary eyes towards the Mages Guild's fearless leader, one hand clinging desperately to his robes, the other arm wrapped around herself while she scrunched up in a ball in an unsuccessful attempt to fit on the entirely-too-small bed.

"Elli?" Raminus asked quietly, but she didn't stir. Reaching out a hand, he shook her shoulders, repeating her name.

Elisif woke with a shout, lightning and fire crackling on her palms before she fell out of the bed and onto the hard floor. Her face was ashen, eyes narrowed in suspicion until they landed upon him. With a sigh she banished the spells on hand and relaxed, crawling back onto the bed and rubbing her face with her hands.

Slowly, so as not to disturb an already agitated mage, Raminus eased back down onto the bed, scratching his head in confusion. Although the woman was constantly on the move, he did not think he'd ever seen her looking so tired, let alone so terrified. Perhaps she was always this way when she slept in a dormitory or common room, and that was the reason she almost never did. The door slammed open abruptly, one of the gossipers coming back to retrieve a book; the girl caught herself under the intense scrutiny of the Arch-Mage at that point. Elisif bore the look of an injured, albeit dangerous, animal, a lioness with a thorn in its paw, unable to lunge, but plenty able to tear out a throat. With mumbled apologies and a slight bow, the student ran out the door once more, though she did attempt to shut it more carefully.

"What is going on with you this morning, Elli? I've never seen you act like this." he leaned forward, sniffing the air near her face, "Haven't been drinking, have you?" A swift punch in the shoulder was his response, but she did look up at him for long moment, seeming to study him before a smile broke across her face.

"It was a long night, I suppose, but it's all better now. I just—I couldn't be alone." standing up, Elisif stretched with a wince and yawned, "Anyways...would you come with me?"

"That's it?" Raminus groaned, flopping back on the bed, "You steal my bed, nearly attack me, then you want me to just go swanning off...to where exactly?" She looked down, seemingly chastised by this before launching herself onto the bed as well, laying close enough to feel his breath on her face. She worked up the most pitiful face she could muster.

"Please?" she asked, and he knew he'd lost another round.

She knew she was selfish.

How could Elisif be anything but, dragging Raminus along as she did? She tore him away from his duties at the Mage's Guild (though with the fierce amount of time he spent there, the place would be fine with his absence for a while), knowing that he much preferred the city as opposed to roaming the countryside. Still, he didn't seem terribly put out, finishing up his business with their fellow mages, making arrangements for the guild's upkeep, and packing in less than two hours.

Their first stop was the great Ayleid ruin Miscarcand, where the Great Welkynd Stone was housed. They made quick work of the denizens inside, clearing traps and crumbling tunnels only to come face to face with a lich. That battle took much longer than any other the two had faced in the ruin, and by the end of it they both were bloody and limping. Still, the stone was theirs, and a camp awaited them.

The two of them were ready to collapse as soon as they stepped into the night but managed to force themselves a respectable distance away from the entrance before setting up the bare necessities of camp. That is, checking on the horses and plopping down onto their shared pallet for the night. There wasn't a place on her that didn't hurt, but Elisif was too exhausted to bother with anything other than a potion before falling asleep on Raminus's shoulder.

Morning was anything but kind, however. Her back was an agony of torn flesh that hadn't been properly healed. The unfortunate Dunmer girl she had slain had tried her best, but it was obvious she was no healer. She tried to ease away from the warmth of her companion without disturbing him, but couldn't contain a gasp of pain when he pulled her closer, a small smile gracing his lips. His broad hands moved down her spine in a lazy caress before she could stifle her pained groans. He opened his eyes in surprise, and no words passed between him. She knew he felt the heat rising from her back, knew he could sense the infection.

In silence he assisted in removing her armor, and when he had assessed the damage, he pressed his hands to her torn flesh. His hands moved slowly over her abused flesh, a pleasant coolness spreading and cleansing the cuts. Her skin started stretching tight as it knitted back together.

"You would have suffered less had you simply told me." He scolded, but she merely gritted her teeth. While he focused on one part of her back, the other was thrown into sharp contrast, a throbbing wretched mess that found her clenching fistfuls of his robes.

For many minutes he healed, patiently forcing healing magicks into her skin, and in that time he said nothing. Occasionally his fingertips would brush the skin once it was healed, and she was shocked at the sensitive new flesh instead of raised scar tissue. It made her smile to think that he had saved her from even more permanent damage, however minor it was in comparison to the others. The smile faded after she met his concerned gaze, a strange sweet ache in her chest occurring at the sight of his blue eyes and the feel of his healing hands tracing her back before coming to rest on her face.

"How?" He asked softly, and her veneer of calm crumpled. Shame colored her face, dreadful shame and fear at what he'd think of her. She glanced around, the weak light of early morning revealing nothing to help her with distracting him. Gods, she'd have taken a troll attack at the moment if it meant never speaking of it.

"Faren..." came her reply, "He found me. I'm not sure how. I had just forced my way into a meeting with Ocato earlier that day, and he seemed to know me. Perhaps he and Faren were old friends." She shook her head at his look of dismay, "I know, it sounds mad, but I can't help it. If that foul ashborn has been looking for me this whole time, how did he suddenly find me in the middle of the wilderness?" She must have looked terrified, for Raminus reached out and grasped her trembling hands, a stony expression on his face.

"Elli, say where he is, and Faren will die. You won't live in fear ever again." His words were so noble, so heartfelt, and Elisif had to laugh, had to break the tension a little before barreling on in her narrative.

"There's no need for that. If he weren't dead, I'd not be sitting here." she looked down at their clasped hands, "I've killed the old fucker, as well as his guards. Burned his house to the ground. Took a while longer than I'd have liked, but the opportunity finally presented itself."

"Good."

That was the only word spoken for some time, and it shocked Elisif to hear Raminus speak so frankly about death. She slipped her hands out from his, only to ease into his embrace, her heart beating wildly in her chest as he soothed her. It would be so easy to let that be it, but he knew her too well, knew that something ate at her still.

"What else then, Elli? Even that doesn't explain this terror." She sighed and braced herself.

"I saw him again. I saw Lucien." she said, her voice trembling. "I—" She choked a little as she spoke, "He invited me to join him. In the Brotherhood, I mean."

"That's for murder, Elli! You defended yourself from someone who tried to possess you. If they think of that as murder, then-"

"But that isn't all of it." Without looking at him she continued on her story, telling him of the poor Dunmer girl that had been too simple to see the devil she worked for.

A strange panic set in once she opened her mouth and began to speak of it. Alone, alone, ALONE! That's what she'd be when he heard this, but he'd been so good to her for so long, how could she hide such a thing? He deserved to know the beast he'd just helped. Her breath was harsh and hitched in her chest, palms sweaty as told him everything. She talked of the Dumner's naivety, of her kindness and weak healing spells. How honored the poor girl felt to serve Elisif. The dreams, the paranoia, the initial pleasure of slitting the girl's throat and watching healthy skin fade to ashy grey, afterward leaving the corpse to burn. She closed her eyes, unable to look him in the face.

"L-Lucien." she whispered. "He said I was invited to join the Brotherhood. I told him no, of course...But then...Oh Raminus, I'm doomed to this life. Being part of a damned organization of psychopaths and killers. Did you know my parents were in the Brotherhood? Lucien's mum too? It's why we grew up together.

"Free will is an illusion, anyhow. From birth, I was groomed for this; the only reason you and I met at all was because things didn't go according to plan. Do you believe in fate, destiny, all that bullshit?" she looked at him, but didn't really expect an answer as she continued. "I've always thought life was random, chaotic and unfortunately a bit shitty for me, but what if I'm wrong? What if everything has been pre-ordained? Perhaps the gods play us like game pieces on a board. It is structured, forced, still shitty, but for an entirely different set of reasons. Perhaps I'm not meant to be good." She continued on.

"And then there's Rufio! Hah! Damn Lucien, damn the Brotherhood, but damn me most of all! I played right into their hands. I didn't even know what was happening, it had been so stormy, so wet and cold and dark outside. Lost in the storm, I didn't know where I was going. My horse panicked and threw me off, and I must have gotten turned around. If I'd known the name of the inn I'd stumbled upon, I'd have kept going. It was exactly where Lucien had told me to go, where he'd insisted I finish my initiation, to kill some feeble old man. I'd not have done it, had no intentions of doing such a thing. Of course he'd give me someone I could help but kill, someone who needed to die. An old lecher who'd raped and murdered a young girl. He sobbed at my feet, begging my forgiveness when all I'd done was stumble into his room by accident. Talked about the sweet, irresistible girl he'd tried to force into staying quiet. He talked himself into being killed. And you know what? He deserved to die. Anyone who does such a thing deserves their fate, but even so...it wasn't my place. I'm no executioner. I'm not the law of the land." Her face contorted into lines of fear and sorrow and shame as she grew silent, breath coming in little hitching gasps.

"Then why are you so afraid now, Elli?" he asked, still so damn calm.

"Because he'll come again, the first time he knows I'm asleep, alone, and safe. I can't...I can't see him again. I can't be alone again. Fate is fighting against me. If I try to resist him, what will happen? Nothing good. The only chance I have is for him to never have a moment alone with me. It's either that or dying on this damned journey I've undertaken for Martin. I want to die a good person. I don't want to live damned to darkness. Oh gods..." How she shook, trembled, shoulders hunched. He'd never seen her so afraid, so desolate.

Silent. It was so very silent, and then she heard him move to rise. She kept a straight back, determined not to be outright sob until he left, but when Raminus made no more sound she opened her eyes. He stood before her, hand held out. A lump swelled in her throat as she stood, and he took her in his arms and embraced her.

Raminus held her tightly, and she found herself clinging to him, sobbing against his chest like a child. He whispered soft words in her ears, but over her own noises she could barely hear them. It didn't matter. It was enough to know he was there. She pulled him tighter against her, fearful of letting go, but he didn't seem to mind.

"It's alright, Elli." He murmured, peppering her forehead and eyelids with kisses. "If this is what you want, I'll not leave your side." The ache in her chest wouldn't let her be. Always he thought to tend her needs first, when no one had before. It was criminal of her to drag such a man into the wilderness, to keep him as a lover when he deserved a woman whole and clean. Why he dallied with her she'd never understand, but she would be grateful so long as it continued.

Elisif brought her lips up to his in a soft, albeit wet, caress. Usually when they kissed it was all passion and heat, and it felt so different, so right to share this intimacy as well. Slowly his mouth moved against her own, a hand cupping her cheek, the very image of gentle care, and she did not feel like a murderer then, nor a woman half mad from captivity. When he held her like this she felt almost normal.

Eventually they parted, Raminus smiling as their eyes stayed locked one to another. Her own smile was much more tremulous as she wiped at her face, dashed the remaining tears from her cheeks and eyes. Raminus began talking, asking where they would take their recently acquired Welkynd stone. He seemed cheery enough as they moved about camp, packing their things. She told him of Martin, of Cloud Ruler Temple, but then she stopped.

"Raminus..." she said, voice grown hoarse, "I'm not asking you to come with me. There's a good chance I'll not survive this venture, anyhow. I'll not have you following me around the countryside over the mistakes I've made."

"Just try getting rid of me." He replied, hand clenching hers.