Bella PoV

The minute I heard the door open I turned my head. "Jake!" I breathed.

But it was my father who entered. He had a bandage across his forehead and his clothes were definitely gone for good but other than that he looked fine. He came straight up to my bed, sitting on the side and took my hand in his. Like Jacob had done a lifetime ago.

"Bells, I'm so glad you are fine." Charlie sighed. "When I couldn't find you yesterday, I have been so worried. I drove all around town looking for you. Where have you been?"

I shook my head. "I'm sorry. I just needed some air and went into the woods and then I couldn't find my way back. I didn't want to worry you."

Again, a sigh. My father hugged me, holding me close to his chest. "I'm just happy you are fine. But probably don't go wander around the woods alone anymore, alright?"

I smiled and nodded. "Will do."

"I'll go and talk to the doctors about when you will be released and everything. In the meantime, do you need anything from home? Toothbrush, clothes, a book?"

"Maybe some new clothes. The one's I wore yesterday are all dirty."

Charlie bent forward and placed a sweet kiss on my forehead. "I'm glad to have you back, Bells." He stood up and prepared to leave but I stopped him, holding his arm. "Dad... "I hesitated for a moment. "Have you seen Jacob?"

"He was sitting outside but left before I came in. He looked pretty beaten up. Has something happened between you two?" Charlie sat down on the bed again, looking me straight in the eyes. "You know you can tell me everything, do you?"

I averted his gaze. "Yes, I know."

"So….?"

"It's nothing. He must have been tired after staying here for so long. I'm sure he'll be back soon." Or so I hope.

My father knew that I was holding something back, just as Jacob had done, but he knew better than to press the matter. Instead, he finally stood up, kissed me once more on the forehead and left my room.

Two weeks later

I was standing at my bedroom window, a cup of tea in hand and looked straight into the forest. I had become my own little ritual, staring into the woods each day for an hour or so, trying to find any sign of the pack. But I never succeeded.

My gaze fell on the mobile phone, lying on my bed. Dad had bought it about a week ago, so he could always stay in touch with me and something like the incident in the woods wouldn't repeat itself. I had lost my old phone in the woods after the … incident and hadn't come around to buying a new one. The landline did just fine and besides, there weren't many people I would call, apart from Jacob or my dad. My fingers ached to take it up and call Billy, but I knew it was useless. I had called him so many times and every time he had said Jacob wasn't there. I had left him messages, but he never called back.

I had even driven down to the reservation, but nobody had been home. When I had encountered Embry and Quil on my way home, neither of them knew where Jake was. Or they knew and wouldn't tell me.

I had been back to school since a week. It had been easier than I thought slipping back into the role as quiet Bella, sitting with her friends, occasionally talking, laughing at their stupid jokes but not really paying attention to anything they said. All they talked about was prom, who was going to be prom king or queen, or which teacher was too mean to give any good grades. If they only knew. Their problems sounded so trivial compared to what I've been experiencing the last few months. Drawn into a world nobody knew existed, running with vampires and werewolves. I had been thrown head over heels into this mess and now I couldn't find my way out.

Sometimes my eyes would find the empty table where the Cullens used to sit but not very often. Their memory had begun to fade away and I wasn't even sad about that. It had been a wondrous few months, like living in a dream. Or a nightmare.

With a sigh I put down the cup of tea and sat in front of my computer, writing on an assignment my American history teacher had given us. For this, we were supposed to pick out any Native American tribe and describe it. Their traditions, their beliefs, their life. I was tempted to take the Quileute, but it felt like I was abusing them, using Jake and his family once more for my own purpose. So instead, I began to write a tribe called Eyak. The topic didn't really interest me, but I knew I had to focus. My grades had been slipping since the Cullens had left and I needed to catch up so I would get my diploma and an acceptance at some college.

But it was no use. Time and time again I found my eyes glaze over to the phone lying on my bed while the page on my computer remained blank.

Sighing I gave up, closed the document and picked up the mobile phone. By now I knew the number by heart and my fingers acted of their own free will. I let it ring a few times and was just about to hang up when the receiver was picked up and a sleepy voice answered.

"Yes?"

My heart stopped. I would have recognised this voice anywhere. My mouth became dry and I had to swallow hard against the lump in my throat.

"Hello?" He sounded impatient. "Who's there?"

"It's me..." I managed in a hoarse voice. Could it really be this easy? After all this time I simply had to pick up the phone and he would be there?

"Bella?" Surprise was in his voice.

"Yes."

"What do you want?"

I shuddered at the sudden coldness. He had never sounded so cold when he was with me. "I wanted to speak with you. I called so many times, but your father always said you weren't home."

"Yeah, I've been busy. Look Bella, I am tired, and I have patrol duty tonight so say what you have to say and get it over with."

The lump became bigger and bigger and I practically choked on my own words. "Jake, I'm so sorry for what I've said at the hospital. Please, you have to forgive me. I need you and I miss you so much."

"You sure you need me and not use me to make you feel better? Or are you simply saying this to keep me at your side? What is it Bella?" He sounded so distant when he said this. So full of disappointment. I realised only now how much I must have hurt him with my words. How I had destroyed everything, including our friendship.

"Please Jacob. I didn't mean to hurt you. You are the most important person in my life. Without you I feel like I'm drifting apart. Please, please forgive me."

He sighed. "Bells, you know I've forgiven you the minute you said all these things. But simple words won't do it this time. I've shown you so many times what you mean to me, how I would do really anything for you, to make you happy and keep you safe. But time and time again you doubt yourself, doubt your strength and your worth and worst of all, doubt me. You don't believe anything I say, and I am tired of saying the same things again and again. I can't do this anymore Bella. I will always be there for you, waiting for you, but all this, this is too much."

By now I was sitting on the floor, back against my bed, a fist in my mouth to keep me from screaming, from begging, from crying. "So, is this goodbye then?" I whispered, not wanting to hear the answer.

"You have to find your own strength Bella and your trust. You have to see what you are capable of, what you are worth. Otherwise, you'll never be truly happy. Not even with me."

I bit down as hard as I could, tasting blood on my tongue. My head began to swim. "Jacob..."

"Goodbye Bella. Don't call again."

He hung up. The sudden quietness seemed to mock me. I let the phone fall from my hands, curled up in a small ball and let darkness claim me.