Jacob PoV
I gripped the receiver so hard that it almost cracked. It gave a disturbing sound and I quickly hung it up before I would do something stupid. My father already spent so much many on new clothes for me, buying a new phone seemed an unnecessary expense.
I closed my eyes and pressed my hands against them until stars shone behind my closed eyelids. The sadness in her voice, the pleading was almost too much for me to bear. I had hated every single minute, hated every single word I had said, had nearly choked on them but there had been no other way. She had to understand that this time a simple I am sorry wouldn't do. It would only lead us back to where we started. She had to understand that she needed to change, needed to find her own strength no matter how much it hurt me for doing this to her.
I tried to tell myself that it was for her own good, but the words felt ashen in my mouth.
Not a single day had passed where I hadn't thought of her. No matter if I lay in my bed or if I was running patrol, the image of her lying on her bed under me, her cheeks flushed from our kiss, was always there. The others were used to it by now and had stopped trying to comfort me. They simply let me be and I was grateful for that.
I did my job, and I did it well enough so that Sam wouldn't complain. My free time I spent at home, sleeping, or listening to music in my room. I didn't go out anymore, joining the others for movie nights at Sam's and Emily's house or ride the motorcycle like I had done sometimes before.
I saw the worry on my father's face, but he never tried to talk to me about it. He always thought that if someone wanted to speak, they would do so on their own free will and not because he pressured them.
I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep anymore, not after this call, so I took off into the woods. My shift would start in one hour anyway so why bother?
I strapped my shorts on my legs before I turned. I didn't run. I was too tired to run. The last ten minutes had drained my whole energy out of my body. Involuntarily my head shifted to the direction of Forks and her house, but I didn't go there. I had asked Sam to assign me to the other borders as far away from her house as I could be. I didn't want to be tempted to walk up to her, just taking a short look.
Bella.
I hope you find your strength.
With a howl I sped up towards Sam's house to start my shift.