The fifth of November came to Hogwarts quicker than I expected, and with it, a definite chill. Of course, it was bonfire night so there would be no way to escape the cold this evening.
In Ravenclaw tower I joined my friends in dressing up in our warmest clothes, grabbing sleeping bags and sneaking from the castle. I had convinced them into another Slytherin party.
It was a chilly walk into the mountains behind the lake, but woolly hats kept us warm. Finally, the castle was obscured by a crag and a mighty bonfire came into view. The orange flames were dancing high into the sky, spitting embers and warming the shore beside the lake.
We were some of the last to arrive; someone was playing the guitar and singing tunefully. The sounds of laughter rang about in the frosty air. I smiled as someone passed a marshmallow on a stick and a bottle of wine.
"Why is it, that only the Slytherins seem to have parties?" I asked Abraxas as he joined us.
"The Gryffindors do as well, but they are strictly private, no other houses allowed," he replied.
"Who would have though, the snakes the most fun and accepting house," I laughed.
Tom found me later, he smelt like the spice of firewhiskey and with more affection than he would usually bestow, threw an arm around my shoulders.
"Having fun, love?" he asked.
"Oh immensely," I replied sardonically, turning from my conversation with Elena, Lizzie and Hazel.
It struck me how commonplace it was for Tom and I to talk like we were above such pursuits. That we were this little secret club, merely humouring our peers.
"It seems you've had no problem sourcing the booze for this party," I teased.
"It seems you've had no problem finding a ridiculous hat to wear," he retorted scathingly, but his lips were ever so slightly quirked.
"You're just jealous," I accused, tugging at the brim. "My ears are toasty and yours are not."
"Of course," he scoffed. As we left to stroll around the bonfire and I caught a snippet of the interaction between Lizzie and Hazel.
"I did not know about Tom and Poppy?" Hazel said in Lizzie's ear.
"I would not presume too much," she replied, I was grateful for that but I could feel her eyes on me as she regarded us curiously, a slight frown on her face.
"He is the most attractive boy in the school, and if you've been walking around here with your eyes open, you'll know as well I; that is quite the achievement," Hazel said, twirling her dark red hair round a finger. "Poppy is lucky if it is true."
"Appearances can be deceiving Hazel," Lizzie reminded her. Her eyes flicked over to Raimond. He was playing the guitar and singing a rousing folk tune, the music to over thirty people's hearty dancing.
A facet perhaps?
"Slytherins are full of surprises."
I was almost disappointed when we were out of earshot.
I took a long swig of spiced red wine and rested my head on the arm still around my shoulders. Tom and I watched the horde of dancers, stomping around the flames like savages. It made me smile. I was dying to join in.
I made to get up and dance, but Tom grabbed my hand.
"And where do you think you're going?" he asked.
"To dance, is that not what parties are for? Are you coming?" I asked. He smirked and shook his head.
"Ballroom is the only dance for me I'm afraid," he replied.
"Well suit yourself," I said, trying to pull my hand away.
"Ah, a kiss before you go, love?" he proposed sarcastically. He was trying to provoke me, but I wouldn't bow down to it.
"How much have you had to drink Tom," I asked affectionately, smirking at him.
"Need I remind you, I've kissed you before, whilst not drinking," he said smugly, his voice suddenly dark. I did not blush like I knew he had hoped.
"I thought we were pretending that never happened?" I asked pointedly.
"Are you still trying to pretend you didn't enjoy it?" he asked, wicked smirk not slipping. "Like it wasn't the best kiss you've ever had."
"Please," I scoffed, snapping my head to face any direction but his. "You flatter yourself."
I joined Abraxas by the fire, who was more than happy to hold my hand and twirl around as we did an odd sort of jig with excessive stopping and clapping. I was almost giddy with laughter from dancing when I caught sight of Tom in the corner of my eye. He was sat next to a girl in Cassie's year, with long blonde hair- too close. He noticed me looking, and winked. I took a long draught from the bottle of wine and continued to dance.
I wasn't going to play his games.
But I couldn't help but look over again. Tom had the girl like putty in his hands, she was sprawled over his lap, whispering in his ear. He was smirking, eyes fixed on me the entire time.
He was challenging me.
I ignored it.
A nibble of his ear.
It didn't bother me.
I span between Abraxas and Rosier, my smile as brilliant as ever. I couldn't let him see me falter.
I was untouchable.
I could feel the adrenaline pumping through every vein, or was it just the warm glow of the alcohol?
The blonde stroked his face, kissed his cheek.
I ignored it and danced with more passion.
Abraxas had fixed a hand to my waist.
Tom was playing with a lock of golden hair.
I felt like I was looking at the pair through rippled glass.
They were close, lips almost touching.
Somehow my hands were clutching the lapels of Abraxas' coat.
Tom's eyes were still fixed on me. But his lips were on the blonde.
I felt dizzy. And I felt betrayed.
Without thinking of anything but my fiery jealousy I pulled Abraxas down to me. Our lips fused and Abraxas welcomed it, wrapping his strong arms around me, pulling me close.
I cracked open an eye.
Tom was no longer lip locked with the seventh year. His attention was completely on me.
He looked murderous.
I pulled back from Abraxas, seeing triumph and joy in his eyes.
"I am so sorry, Abraxas," I said, stumbling over my words in my haze of anger and regret. "I should not have done that."
His face fell.
"I… never wanted our first kiss to be after so much wine," I continued, giving him an apologetic smile but nonetheless placating his ego. He gave an ecstatic smile, biting his lip. I didn't even have the mental coherency to feel guilty.
I excused myself, rubbing my temples. I cast a glance around the throng of students. My last minutes had been all-encompassing. Yet no one else seemed to have noticed the exchange.
Where was Cassie? I wondered dully.
It was so unlike her to miss a party like this, she liked to be in charge. She must be somewhere.
I looked around for her desperately. I just wanted someone to tell me what to do. I craved the stability Cassie offered.
I felt a hand grasp my wrist, pulling me around. I knew at once who it was.
"Tom," I said breathlessly.
"Malfoy," he said, grimacing as if the word left a bitter taste in the mouth. "Of all people."
"Who was your… friend?" I asked with a bitter smirk. "She was pretty." His eyes narrowed.
I felt two bodies stop either side of me. I visibly relaxed.
"What's going on?" Orion asked, looking at both of us. Cygnus wrapped an arm around my shoulders protectively.
"Our cousin is not one of your conquests, Tom," Orion said coolly.
"Cassie asked us to remind you of that," Cygnus contributed. The threat was clear.
"I don't know what you're talking about gentlemen?" he laughed, his smile was easy, guiltless.
"You think I'd let that happen," I scoffed, grasping hold of both their hands. "Come on boys. I need another drink."
The sound of liquid hitting porcelain with such force made Lizzie cringe, but dutifully she remained in the bathroom. Rubbing comforting circles on my back and holding my long dark curls.
"You made it all the way to the tower Poppy, you moose," she teased. But got no reply. Well, unless you count retching a reply.
"I saw you," she said carefully. "Kiss Malfoy." I groaned and turned round wiping my mouth inelegantly with the back of my hand.
"I was so drunk Lizzie," I sighed, slumping down onto the tiled floor. "I let him get the better of me."
"Riddle?" Lizzie asked, lowering herself gracefully onto the floor. "I saw that too."
"What is going between you two?" she asked.
"Nothing," I said dejectedly. "He and Abraxas have this weird sort of rivalry. I'm just a pawn in their little game of besting each other." I buried my face in my hands. "I am such an idiot."
Lizzie squeezed my hand sympathetically.
"Well as long as you know you're an idiot, you won't break you own little heart," she said teasingly, brushing my hair with her fingers. I made a nondescript grunting noise.
"I guess Malfoy won though," she said with a smile. "Getting the first kiss."
I said nothing.
"Come on, you can't sleep on your own tonight. I've got some potions in my trunk."
I felt much less nauseous after one of Lizzie's potions, but I could not shake the feeling of discontentment that had risen after I realised Cassie was missing from the party.
I was distracting myself from my own actions I knew, but still I couldn't take my mind off it.
Lizzie had insisted I could not sleep by myself; I was touched by her concern so waited until she was sound asleep before slipping silently out of the four poster bed in the girl's dormitory. I stopped by my own room for the marauders map. Avidly I searched for Cassie's tiny label in the Slytherin common room. But she was nowhere to be found in the dungeons.
Finally I found a dot marked Cassiopeia Black. It was on a classroom on the fourth floor. And with it? Charlus Potter no less. I had to know what was happening. Swiftly, stopping only to stuff something I plucked from the top draw of my desk and the map down the bodice of my nightgown, I gathered up the full skirt and swept down the staircases with much more grace than someone who had drank as much as I had.
The fourth floor was dimly lit, the candles on the walls were burning low. It must have been close to four in the morning. Carefully, silently, I pressed my ear to the door.
Nothing.
I checked the map, and listened again.
Silence.
With trembling fingers I pulled the long, thin piece flesh coloured string from my nightdress.
I had not used one in all my time in the forties so far, I thought it would make me too sad, but I had kept a couple hidden away none the less. My heart was beating so fast I could have sworn it was audible, but no tears came and for that I was glad.
As soundlessly as I could, I slid the end into the crack under the door and brought the other up to my ear.
I was relieved the conversation seemed to be full swing still. The voices were heated and furious.
"Tell me," I heard Cassie demand.
"Tell me!" she repeated, shouting this time.
"You, Cass. It will always be you. Your fire, your passion. Always you."
I froze and my relief quickly turned to horror.
"That's better," she said with satisfaction.
A deep, throaty moan.
My mouth dropped open, along with the extendable ear, which thankfully made no sound when it hit the stone floor.
Hurriedly, I snatched it up and stood stock still.
What was I going to do?
Without thinking I fled.
I ran down the corridor, not caring if I woke someone. I didn't even notice someone else at the bottom of the grand staircase as I was galloping up the top flights, two at a time. Though had I realised at the time it was Tom who watched me running as if from a dragon, perhaps I would have applied a bit more stealth.
I did not stop running until I was in the girls' dormitory.
Silently I slipped back under the covers, the map and ear tucked back into my nightgown.
The movement of covers was enough to wake Lizzie on the other side of the bed.
"Poppy?" she asked blearily. "Where have you been?"
"Just to the loo," I lied.
Lizzie reached out and grabbed my arm.
"You're cold," she stated.
"Am I?"