Howdy! Heads up, this part focuses on skin picking again, so if that's not your cup of tea, you don't have to read this.

In case it wasn't kinda obvious, I kinda have experience with this stuff, so even though some of the strategies I write about here might seem kinda dumb, a lot are ones suggested by my actual therapist (some are internet advice, though). Keep in mind, though, that this fic is NOT intended to be used as medical advice or an endorsement of any of these strategies (in fact, I haven't really found most of them to be effective at all). This story is just for entertainment purposes.

And with that, here's the story.

XXX

He didn't want to get up.

Logan wanted to have his 'discussion' with him today about his little skin issue, and Janus was currently regretting having ever agreed to it. He still hated the fact that the others found out about it at all, and the thought of holding a frank discussion- an honest discussion- about it was making his skin crawl. Sure, he hated having to pick his skin all the time, and he really did want to figure out a way to stop, but he didn't even really think that was possible. And he remembered what it was like during the last time he had actually managed to stop. Whenever his thoughts turned negative, he would just have to sit with them, letting them spiral and twist around in his head, sometimes without any apparent end in sight. His skin felt constricted around his body, and he could barely stand the knowledge that there were so many imperfections in his skin that he couldn't do anything about, that he couldn't rid himself of. How many times had he had to forcibly still his own hands to keep them from starting it up again? How many times had he realized his hand was snaking into his sleeve to scratch at the skin beneath without him even noticing? How many times had he looked in the mirror and hated what he saw and still had to tell himself that he couldn't fix it?

Janus could only keep that up for so long.

In the end, he accidentally started picking at his fingers again while he was reading a book. It was a bit difficult to turn the pages with his gloves on, so he'd taken them off, and that was a mistake. With his gloves off and himself distracted by reading, his fingers fell back into old habits, and he didn't even remember that he had decided to stop doing it until one of his fingers started bleeding.

After that, it felt useless to keep trying. It was so hard, and he'd already failed. What was one or a few more or a lot more times? He'd already done it again, anyway.

He'd failed so quickly, and he didn't want to fail again. Failing this time would be worse because the others knew now, and if he failed, they would be disappointed in him. Maybe they'd get mad at him for wasting their time. They'd get mad that, even though they tried to help him, he still couldn't do something as simple as not rip pieces of his own skin off.

No. No, he was overthinking this. He was jumping to conclusions. The others wouldn't get mad. They cared about him. It would be fine. It is fine.

… Unless he's just lying to himself again-

"Hey, kiddo?" Patton called out as he knocked on the door. "I made breakfast! Why don't you join us?"

Breath in. Breath out.

"I won't be there in a minute," he responded begrudgingly.

"Okay!"

As he heard Patton's footsteps retreat back down the halls, Janus forced himself to finally sit up. He could do this. He had to do this. He couldn't be a coward about this. He was Deceit, and Deceit didn't chicken out of a stupid little conversation about a stupid little problem. Worst-case scenario, he had to lie about stopping-

No. No lying about this.

Okay, worst-case scenario, the others got tired of helping him and gave up, and he just went back to picking his skin all the time. That wasn't much different than now, except the part where they got tired of him.

And once he noticed his thoughts trying to persuade him into rolling up his sleeve to inspect his arms, he realized he was doing it again.

"I can do this… Just go to breakfast and talk to Logan…"

Janus knew What would happen if he took a shower right now, and he figured that wouldn't be a very good start to this. So, he forwent showering for the time-being and just snapped his fingers, changing from his pajamas into a dress shirt and slacks.

Upon entering the kitchen, he saw he was the last one to arrive (other than Remus, but Remus likely hadn't been invited to join in the first place). Virgil looked up at him as he pulled out a chair, extricating himself from his arm-pillows.

"Morning, Jan."

"Good morning, Virgil," Janus returned the greeting. "You certainly look like you want to be awake right now."

"... Existence is pain, and the morning only brings suffering."

Silently, Janus agreed with Virgil's melodramatic statement, while Patton attempted to distract everyone from their early-morning existential dread with food. Janus only ate enough to keep anyone (Patton) from pestering him about not eating. He wasn't hungry, and his mouth felt dry.

Virgil must have noticed how nervous he was, because he felt Virgil reach over and squeeze his hand reassuringly for a brief moment.

After what felt like forever and yet far too soon, everyone finished their breakfast.

And Logan turned to him.

"Janus, are you ready for our discussion?"

Everyone looked toward him for a moment before quickly glancing away awkwardly.

Instantly, the nervousness he felt roared into full-blown anxiety.

"... Actually, I'm rather busy today-"

"Jan. You're not getting out of this," Virgil sighed.

He took Deceit's hand again.

"We're just trying to help you, Jan."

"We support you, kiddo," Patton added. "This might seem scary, but we know how brave you are. You can do this."

And now Janus felt anxious and also stupid. He knew he was overreacting and making the others worry about his dumb little issues. He shouldn't need to be reassured just to have a conversation with someone.

But that didn't mean he wanted to do it.

"... Fine…"

And so he stood, and when Logan gestured for him to follow him, he did.

XXX

And with this chapter, I'm pretty sure that this series is now (put together) my longest fic. (I'm counting it because it's really all part of the same story, so.