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Okay, this is the last chapter of this part, but stay tuned 'Cuz there's still a while left to go in the future parts.

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He returned to the mind palace in a flurry of rage and flopped into the sheets on his bed. It had been about two weeks since Janus had spoken with Thomas and subsequently reminded the others that they shouldn't just reveal other people's personal information (which he may have achieved through methods varying from a simple note for Patton to borrowing one of Remus's monsters to remind Roman). During that time and despite his annoyance about Thomas being told about his problem, Virgil, along with the others, had managed to convince him to have a session with Dr. Picani. Apparently, Logan hadn't gotten the message about respecting his privacy because he told everyone that Janus wasn't getting any better about the skin picking, having not even been able to go much longer than a day without doing it at all (Though, Logan had certainly gotten the message after Janus borrowed a second creature from Remus).

He'd had his first and only session with Emile earlier, and he had already decided that he wasn't going to go back. The man was just so infuriating. Everything always went back to cartoons with him, and Janus didn't even like cartoons all that much. But that wasn't even the main thing that angered (upset) him, though it was a lot easier to blame his irritation (anxiety) on the man's childish personality. Really, though, it was about being forced to talk about his problems, which apparently extended past the skin picking itself. And okay, maybe Janus knew he had other problems, but he was barely ready to talk about this one, and he didn't appreciate the therapist repeatedly trying to get him to talk about the other things that he hadn't even agreed to talk about.

Even the man's questioning made him feel bad, and he hated it.

His skin was crawling, and he couldn't stop thinking about his skin and all the spots he knew were littered across it.

He had already removed his gloves and rolled up his sleeves, and there were already a few beads of blood welling up from his skin by the time he heard a knock.

"Jan, are you okay? I can feel your anxiety spiking," he heard Virgil question through the door. "... Did your appointment go badly?"

There was fire in his chest, and he was finding it hard to breath.

"Go away, Virgil!"

His fingernails were digging into his arms now, and he wasn't even picking at his skin. He was just squeezing and pressing, and he wasn't even quite sure whether he was more angry or panicked at the moment.

He wanted to be alone.

He wanted to curl up in a ball, stay in his room and not come back out.

"... Janus, I think you're having a panic attack."

He was shaking. He was gasping. And even though it hurt, he was continuing to dig his nails into his arms harder because it felt like the only thing that was keeping him there.

"Jan, can you open the door?"

He couldn't. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't.

"N-No…"

"Alright. That's okay. Can you try to breathe? Follow along with my voice, okay?"

He could hear Virgil talking, but he wasn't able to focus enough on the words to follow along until he dug his nails in again.

"Okay, you're doing great, Jan. Let's keep going, yeah?"

He tried to follow along, and though it seemed to take forever, he was able to focus a little better on the voice with each controlled breath. Then, eventually, Janus found his breaths steadying.

It was fine. It was fine. Emile was only a character. It was a bit surprising that he knew things that only he and Remus should be aware of, but it was fine. Emile was a therapist. He had to follow patient confidentiality, right? Well, there wouldn't really be any repercussions for him since he wasn't real, but he wouldn't tell, right? He couldn't. And Janus was pretty sure that, if Emile planned to tell the others about the past, then he would have already done so.

So it was fine.

Once his breathing was back to normal and he stopped shaking, Janus slowly uncurled his stiff fingers, finally removing his nails from his flesh. There was blood beneath his nails and red crescents adorning his forearms.

"Can you open the door now, Jan? I just wanna make sure you're okay."

Janus took a few more deep breaths in before he unrolled his sleeves and replaced his gloves. He tried to straighten out his clothes as best he could to make himself look more presentable, but that was a lost cause at this point, he supposed. Instead, he snapped his fingers so that he was wearing his hoodie and more comfortable pants. Then, he went over and unlocked the door.

"Heya, Jan," Virgil greeted.

The other side looked him over for a moment, and Janus felt uncomfortable as the gaze settled for a little too long on his arms and hands.

"So, I take it your session didn't go well."

Janus scoffed as he allowed Virgil into his room.

"I'm not going back."

Virgil rubbed the back of his neck and let out a sigh.

"Well, I'm proud of you for trying it," he said. "I mean, you might end up changing your mind, but if it was really that bad, then I don't blame you for not wanting to go. What happened, anyway?"

Janus crossed his arms with a huff.

"I just…," he started. "I don't like talking about things like this, Virgil. It makes me feel like crap. And even with everyone trying to help me stop this, it just makes me think about it more, and it's making it worse. I just… don't even know what to do."

Virgil's eyes widened, either at what he said or the honesty he said it with.

"Alright," Virgil replied, a slight tremor in his tone. "Maybe it'll help if we lay off a bit? You should still keep trying, I think, but I can tell the others to try to stop bringing it up so much. Okay?"

"... Yes. I suppose."

Virgil nodded.

"Okay, good. We can work with that."

Janus tapped his fingers and avoided Virgil's eyes.

"He… He wouldn't stop trying to bring up other things, Virgil," Janus told him. "I don't even know how he knew about some of it. There's… he shouldn't have known about it."

Virgil blinked, having apparently not expected that Janus would continue, or at least, wouldn't continue with that.

"Oh. Well, he is a character. Sometimes the characters just… know things," said Virgil. "Or, I mean, someone else could have told him?"

Janus hoped that it was just a quirk of Thomas's characters and not that he was told. The only other person who should know about what happened was Remus, and Remus wouldn't have told him, right?

Virgil cautiously reached out to put a hand on Janus's shoulder.

"I'm sure he was just trying to help, though, Jan. But if you're not ready to deal with all that stuff, you can wait until you are," Virgil continued.

He didn't think he'd ever be ready to deal with the things Dr. Picani brought up that day.

But then, Janus realized that Virgil might eventually prod him about what he was referencing, or, heaven forbid, actually be able to guess what it was, and that was the absolute last thing he wanted. So, his mind quickly came up with an explanation that would throw Virgil off the trail.

"Ha, you'd think over a decade would have been enough time to get over it," Janus scoffed sarcastically before his face fell. "I thought it was. I thought I was over it."

Deceit could let Virgil think that he was upset over what happened with the others. Virgil already knew that topic upset him, and it was something that he didn't want to talk about.

It just wasn't the thing that Picani brought up that day.

He gritted his teeth slightly. At least his emotions here weren't faked, so Virgil would probably be thrown off any other trails this conversation might have led him down. The most convincing lies were built on the truth, after all.

"I should be over it," he hissed. "I mean, we're all friends now, aren't we? So I shouldn't still be upset over the damn past."

He would just let Virgil know about one of his less damning issues.

Janus felt Virgil grip his shoulder lightly before the hand fell.

"Dude, I know that you know that's not how shit works," he said simply. "Yeah, we're all friends now, but that doesn't mean that the past didn't happen or that it didn't hurt you. Just… don't get too caught up in scolding yourself for how you feel, alright?"

Janus felt tears pricking at his eyes and started scrubbing at his face with gloved hands in an attempt to prevent the tears from falling. He hated this. He hated what had happened with Dr. Picani, and he hated that his attempts at misdirection were only bringing up more of his own hurt feelings. Even still, he let out a small laugh.

"Hypocrite."

"Just because I'm a hypocrite doesn't mean I'm wrong."

Janus rubbed the remaining wetness from his eyes. He wasn't going to cry again today.

"I feel like, if we keep having all these heart-to-hearts, I really will have to take over your emo thing," he joked.

"No. There can be only one."

"Ooo, a hypocrite and also greedy."

"I'm not greedy, I'm just better at it than you," Virgil responded. "I mean, you haven't even smeared eyeshadow under your eyes."

"I'm a snake, not a raccoon, Virgil."

"Hmph."

And then, Janus felt something bump against his foot.

"Ah, speaking of snakes, it seems Snakey has decided to come out," said Janus. "Did you miss Virgil, little one?"

Snakey stuck his tongue out and slithered over to Virgil, who also got a boop on the foot. At this, Virgil reached down to pick the snake up.

"Hey, Snakey. Do you want to have another movie night? You can invite Janus if you want," Virgil offered.

Janus rolled his eyes.

"Virgil, we can't always solve our problems by watching a movie."

"This isn't solving crap. It's a distraction, and it keeps you from being alone in your room."

Ah.

"Well, what are we going to watch, then?"

"Why don't we let Snakey pick?"

"Virgil, you know he can't read the titles."

And even though Snakey looked mildly offended by that comment, Janus felt like, even though he was very much having a bad day, at least tomorrow might not be quite as bad.

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