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(Sorry for the delay; honestly, I was distracted by finishing a blanket I've been crocheting).
Okay, so, at least the first piece of this is more comedic than the other parts, but it does get back into angst toward the end, as things I write usually do. For the funny part, I think I managed to keep it from turning into crack for once.
And just so you all know, this part takes place back in the 'present' for this story rather than the past. Just clarifying 'Cuz I've been doing a lot of past events with this story recently.
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Virgil, Patton, Roman, and Logan had just returned to the mindscape after helping Thomas film a video, and since it was just about time to start dinner, the four of them ventured into the kitchen.
Upon entering said kitchen, they were mildly surprised to find Janus leaning against the counter (after all, despite being somewhat less reclusive now, the side still liked to spend a lot of time in his room). More surprising than his presence, however, was that he was holding a particular object, and not merely holding it, but consuming it.
"... Kiddo… are you… eating deodorant…?" Patton eventually questioned slowly, as the others all stared in shock.
As if he had only just noticed them- though they knew that he had, in fact, noticed them as soon as they walked in- Deceit focused his gaze to look at the fatherly side, giving him a small, pleasant smile, with no trace of a smirk in sight.
"Hello, everyone. Filming went well, I presume?"
They all stared at him, or, more accurately, stared at the deodorant in his hand, which appeared to have been half-eaten already.
"Don't dodge the question, Lielo and Stitch," Roman spoke up, his nick-naming ability hindered by the shock of the sight before them. "Are you seriously eating deodorant right now?!"
Janus stared back at them for a moment before his eyes slowly lowered to look down at the hygiene item in his hand.
"It would seem that I am," he spoke casually.
"... Janus, are you feeling okay, kiddo?" Patton asked in concern, feeling as though something must be wrong for Janus to be doing this. "You aren't sick, are you?"
"Hm? No, I'm completely fine," Deceit responded casually, an eyebrow raised as if they were the ones behaving strangely. "Why would you believe I'm ill?"
"Janus," addressed Logan. "You are aware that deodorant is not edible, correct?"
"Whatever are you all on about?" Janus replied. "I assure you that this is entirely edible. It's quite good, actually."
There was a long pause.
"... Jan, say that again with the color of the sky," Virgil requested.
Janus's small smile widened.
"The sky is blue, and this is edible," he told them.
"... What the fu…"
And then Roman's eyebrows crinkled.
"Dear glitter glue, I think he's been spending too much time with my brother," he spoke. "Clearly, Remus has corrupted him."
Janus tilted his head, and his eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly.
"Oh, so now I'm corrupted for merely enjoying a tasty snack?"
"It's deodorant!"
"Don't judge a book by it's cover, Roman," Janus told him as he stepped away from the counter and started approaching the group of confusedly concerned sides. "Maybe you should try it before you jump to conclusions."
And then Janus put out his hand, offering the deodorant to Roman like a gift.
"What?! I am not going to eat that deodorant!" Roman protested.
Janus blinked at him as though he was surprised.
"Oh, that's right! I've already bitten this one!" he exclaimed. "Sharing like this would be entirely unsanitary."
"Kiddo, maybe we should go get the thermometer…"
Without responding to Patton, Janus dug around in one of his pockets and pulled out a second, unopened, pristine stick of deodorant.
"Here we are!" Janus announced, now holding out the new stick.
Roman sputtered.
"I'm not going to eat it just because you haven't bitten it!"
"Well, why not?" Janus asked, a challenge in his eyes. "Are you scared?"
"Jan, what the hell has gotten into you-"
"Don't tell me that brave prince Roman is too scared to do something Remus does every day," Janus continued, giving the prince a look.
At this point, it was pretty clear that Janus was up to something, something that involved getting Roman to eat deodorant, but none of them quite knew what that something was.
Regardless, Roman wasn't going to stand being called a coward, so despite all reason telling him not to, he quickly swiped the unopened stick of deodorant out of Janus's hand and pulled it open.
"What are you doing, Princey?!" Virgil questioned as he watched Roman twist the deodorant up.
Roman stared down at the white, unblemished surface of the deodorant. There was no way he was actually going to do this, right?
"Um, Roman, kiddo-"
"Roman, participating in whatever hijinks are ensuing isn't going to help anything."
And yet, there he was, slowly starting to bring the deodorant up toward his lips…
.
.
.
Only to be stopped by boisterous, cackling laughter.
"Remus, you've ruined it!" Janus hissed, though he, too, was laughing.
"Wha-"
And then Remus popped up from… somewhere.
"Oh my God, but did you see the look on Ro's face?!" Remus laughed, even louder. "He was totally gonna eat it!"
He pointed a finger into Roman's face.
"And you really thought it was actually deodorant, didn't you?!"
"Huh?"
"Wait, wait. It's not really deodorant?" Virgil questioned.
Janus gave the anxious side a truly incredulous look.
"Of course not," he answered. "Why would I eat deodorant?"
"Oh, thank goodness," Patton sighed in relief.
"Ah, this makes much more sense," Logan hummed. "I thought that, perhaps, since we are imaginary, you were taking advantage of the fact that consuming deodorant wouldn't cause any lasting health concerns."
"Ha, you losers all looked so serious!" Remus wheezed. "Like, all this time, you really thought it was deodorant! I bet you wouldn't have ever figured it out if we didn't decide to pull a prank! I mean, how many times have you seen me eating it?"
Roman blinked.
"Wait, so, your deodorant isn't actually deodorant either?"
"Nope! Haha, you dumbasses really thought I'd be able to convince Dee of all people to eat actual deodorant!" Remus responded, giggling. "That's hilarious!"
"I fail to see why this is particularly funny, but I do suppose you two had us fooled," spoke Logan. "So, Virgil, you didn't know about this?"
Virgil seemed surprised that the attention had somehow shifted to him.
"What? No, Remus didn't start the eating deodorant thing until after I left," he replied. "I mean, I figured Janus was up to something, though. I just didn't know what."
"Aw, did you play along with our little joke, emo?" Remus cooed.
"Oh, can it, Remus," Virgil hissed, though there wasn't any venom behind it. "I just wanted to see if Princey would actually do it."
"Traitor!" Roman accused dramatically.
"So, if it isn't really deodorant, what is it?" Patton questioned, looking between Janus and Remus.
Remus shrugged.
"It's just candy," he said simply. "My own recipe!"
"It's banana flavored."
"You bet it is!"
"... Not that kind of banana."
"Hey, I didn't say anything!"
"But you implied it."
"Maaaaaybe."
"Alright, let's try to keep this PG, kiddos-"
"I think it might be a little too late for that, Popstar."
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