Characters/Pairing: F!Hawke/Fenris
Rating: G
Word Count: 1025
Prompt: from w0rdinista: "Fenris/Hawke: Austen AU. ;D"
Notes: None.
—
"Forgive me," said she, "but I must believe I have mis-heard you. Am I to understand that you have made me a proposal?"
His features flickered with surprise; he said, "Just so."
"Excuse me. I meant to give you the opportunity to demur. I will not believe you to be serious in making me an offer of marriage."
Abruptly, he rose to his feet. "This is your refusal?"
"You have given me every reason to refuse you."
Fenris crossed to the fireplace with quick steps, agitation in every movement. She was not used to seeing him any less than composed; it gratified and embarrassed her at once, but did not sway her. At length he turned to her and said, "Will you tell me what you mean? or does it please your vanity to keep me in ignorance?"
At once she saw that he believed himself to be the injured party, and her pity fled her heart. "You cannot be serious, sir."
"You mock me."
"You know what I am. You know the family from which I come. You have expressed to me at every opportunity your dislike for my magic, your total disgust with the tools that run in my family's blood. At every meeting since my childhood I have endured the looks of our neighbors and acquaintances for what we cannot help; then, sir, you came with your friends and your horses and your fine carriages, and gave their prejudice every weight that money and power can bestow, without regard for those who must suffer beneath it. You have made us an object of sport for the small-minded. I could have borne that—you know that I love to laugh—but these are only the slights to me, and it is the others you have injured that keep me from accepting you—indeed, would have even if I did not know your heart turned so kindly to me in spite of myself."
His color had risen as she spoke; now it rose further. "I do not know what you mean."
"You know I speak of Bethany. You have separated my sister from her happiness, perhaps without the possibility of mending. You have separated a good man from a good woman in wilful disregard of their own feelings, in favor of yours, of your own dislike. You cannot pretend you do not know what I mean."
"My objections to your family carry the same weight for my friend. Vael would not have made an offer to her without my approval."
"And Bethany is to have no feelings in this?" She knew her tone past civil, but surprise had stolen her equanimity. "You have ruined her in the eyes of all our friends. She has been exposed for their judgment and condemnation, and your friend whom you claim to love so dearly has been laid out a flirt."
"She showed him no favor that I could see. There was no sign of affection on her part that I might believe to be sincere."
"And because you could not see it, there was nothing there? I have shared a bed with my sister since the week she was born and I do not always know her heart. Bethany has hidden her magic all of her life for fear of the shame she might bring to our family with its misuse. She is not like me, who might carry such humiliation on my own and be merry despite it; she has always felt such things strongly, and worried for us when we would not worry for ourselves, and taken more on herself than she ought. You have hurt the best and kindest woman I have known, sir, and were that your only fault it would have been enough."
The curious lines that marked his throat moved as he swallowed. His unrest had spread to his fingers; they clenched and unclenched rapidly as he turned to the unlit hearth. "Your list of my faults is very long."
Hawke could not keep her countenance. "Even could I ignore such a thing, your character has shown itself in every way. I have heard of your dealings with Anders; I have known how you took what living he ought to have had and sent him adrift in the world, no friend to help him, solely because of his magic."
"Anders!" said he contemptuously. "He would be gratified by your concern."
"Who could hear his troubles and not feel concern? Except you, who ridicule him for suffering the very misfortunes you have laid upon him!"
Fenris shook his head, amazement on his face. "You would believe me more a monster than a man. Perhaps if I had come to you as he had, with simpering smiles and magic and a story to grieve you, I might have received another answer."
She stood, stung. "It is your arrogance, sir, which condemns you. Not the pride that you spoke of so eloquently in your friend's home; I speak of that disdain that I hear every moment you speak of mages, of those like my family, your eagerness to believe the worst of me without cause and without proof. I mean your conceit and your willingness to make decisions for others without regard for their own hearts. I mean the sense of your own superiority that has led you to believe that because you have deigned to chuse me, I should be grateful to accept you."
He looked perfectly astonished; she lifted her chin and said, clearly: "I will not marry you, sir."
His color had gone from red to white; now his face tightened, and she began to believe he might really be hurt before it smoothed again to the straighter expression she knew so well. "I understand you perfectly," he said, every composure in his voice, and made an elegant bow. "Give my regards to Mrs. Hendyr. I will take no more of your time."
He exited with quick steps, and the moment she heard the front door close behind him, she fled out the back gate to the garden and, sensing a real weakness for her own tears, set the poplar tree afire instead.