I just wanted to upload something before the release of the last Rebuild movie, so I sat down and forced myself to squeeze a new chapter.

Hope you like it!

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BAKAS&BEHOLDERS

(is filmed in front of a very bored studio audience)

V

You Can (Not) Draw Your Weapon

The old road zigzagged across the valley known as Medusa's Wrath, showing the result of decades of abandonment. Cracks on the ground caused by either the cold of many winters or the heat of dry summers. Bumps born from the rain's slow erosion. Weed and other unwanted vegetation eating the borders of the road. Mushrooms and small bushes growing in the path once reserved for carts and carriages. Not too long ago, it had been the main route to Silvervein, and it would see whole caravans of merchants and travelers going in both directions, every day. Alas, the city had built new roads shortly after its rebirth as Mindflayers Fall; and the old one had been forgotten in favor of the faster, safer and more modern ones.

But some people still went through Medusa's Wrath every now and then, especially students and scholars, to behold the many giant statues scattered thorough the valley. They all represented ugly humanoids, around 15 feet tall, with round and swollen bellies. Most of them were in evident attack position, their mouths opened in what was probably a roar. Others seemed to be running towards something or away from something. A few were lying on the ground, some were sitting. The state of these sculptures was as bad as the roads': full of cracks and with moss growing all over them. A few had lost limbs and even the heads. Vines, most likely the ones Modo had spoken of, coiled around their legs and torsos.

The party looked up as they passed under the shadow of the monuments, their cart pulled by the faithful and obedient Pinchy. They stared in awe at the awesome detail and realism of the carvings, which hadn't been entirely ruined yet, despite the damage accumulated over the years.

"What are these statues doing here?" Thomas asked.

"Roll History if you want to know," Shinji instructed.

"I'll do it," Asuka said, die already in her hand. "I have proficiency."

She succeeded, and his boyfriend gave her a paper detailing the history behind that place…

"They aren't statues," Emma declared. "Or, at least, they weren't. Long ago, centuries before the founding Silvervein, a human tribe made this valley their home," she pointed at the mountains in the distance. "Although it was surrounded by dens of hill giants, the humans found a way to avoid their raids: by giving them part of the harvest and some of the cattle. In exchange for these offerings, the giants would not only leave their city alone, but also defend it from other monsters."

They passed next to one who had been toppled long ago. Both its arms and its round belly had crumbled into piles of small rocks. A thin tree was growing between the fragments of its head.

"For around a century, there was peace," Emma continued. "However, the hill giants grew greedy over the years, and the offerings could no longer satisfy them. One day, during the reign of a beautiful queen named Medusa, they came down from the mountains and attacked the city. Every man, woman and child inside the walls was slaughtered, many of them devoured along the cows, sheep and chicken. The houses were ripped out of the ground and grinded into sand for the giant's amusement, and that's why no ruins remain of that ancient tribe. Only Medusa and their daughters could escape the carnage, and they fled south, into the swamps."

The cart was moving slower, as if Pinchy was also interested in the story.

"In that dark place, they took shelter inside a stone temple, one abandoned long before the time of their people. There, they found an altar dedicated to Merrshaulk, the perverse deity of the yuan-ti. Her heart consumed by sorrow and rage, Medusa knelt before the vile idol and vowed that she would pay any price, no matter how high, in exchange for a chance at revenge. Merrshaulk answered to her pleas and turned her hair into living snakes. He healed her wounds and coated the queen's body with scales, and gave her more power than any other mortal. Enough power to claim the lives of her enemies."

The red-haired warrior pointed at a 'statue' that was crawling on all fours, with a face full of terror.

"There was no mercy that day on this valley," she narrated. "Medusa walked through her old home and turned all the giants into stone with her unholy gaze. Not even the elderly and the infants were spared. However, the power granted to her by Merrshaulk wasn't unlimited. Although she damned the butchers of her people to an eternity of stone, that action took a toll on the queen, and she crumbled to dust once her revenge was complete. Alas, the vile god didn't consider her soul to be enough payment, and passed the curse onto Medusa's daughters, twisting their minds as well as their bodies. They became the mothers of a new race of monsters, one that bears the name of the once beutiful monarch. Now, all that remains of the ancient kingdom are these petrified giants, the culmination of her vengeance, the embodiment and reminder of her wrath."

Asuka's narration gained her the awe of the other players. Even Touji had paid close attention to the story. Shinji allowed his girlfriend to bask in their friend's adoration for a while. He couldn't help but to pamper her every now and then.

But the game had to continue:

"Before we go on," he said, "I need you all to roll Perception."

The dice were cast, but only Kensuke and Rei succeeded, thanks to their characters' proficiency in the skill.

"You hear a suspicious noise behind some nearby bushes," Shinji described. "Do you wish to alert the party?"

"Pinchy," Lilith called. "Halt."

The rust monster obeyed. The adventurers quickly became tense and alert, for they trusted the ears of their elven friend. She stood up and looked to her left.

"We are not alone," she warned.

They jumped off the cart, their hands already hovering close to their weapons. Lilith stood behind, next to Pinchy, ready to calm him in case he was startled by whatever was about to happen. Emma took a step forward.

"Who goes there?" she demanded to know.

Their cover blown, five individuals jumped out of the bushes. Three human males, dirty and unkempt, each armed with an iron mace. Also a halfling, dressed in black leather and holding a bow almost as long as he was tall, with a carcaj full of arrows on his back. Lastly, a massive half-orc of blueish skin, wearing a chainmail over grey and ragged clothes. His weapon of choice was a two-handed sword, even bigger and longer than Emma's, and its blade was stained by dried blood.

"Good hearing you've got there, knife-ears," the half-orc snarled at Lilith. "Alright, you've found us. Now, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. Give us all your stuff and the cart, and we'll let you live. Maybe."

"Not a chance in the Nine Hells!" Asuka exclaimed.

"Yeah!" Kensuke smiled, excited. "It's combat time! At last!"

"Very well," Shinji shrugged. "Roll Initiative," he then turned to Touji and Hikari and explained: "Roll a twenty-sided die and add your Dexterity modifier. I'll do the same with the bandits."

The dice bounced across the table, and the order of turns was determined:

1) Emma Alteisen (Asuka): 19 (19 + 0)

2) Kenneth Clover (Kensuke): 18 (18 + 0)

3) Lilith (Rei): 17 (15 + 2)

4) Thomas Oneleg the Fourth (Touji): 14 (11 + 3)

5) Halfling bandit: 13 (11 + 2)

6) Three Human bandits: 11 (10 + 1)

7) Half-orc bandit: 9 (10 – 1)

8) Baltika Lightsmithy (Hikari): 7 (7 + 0)

The fight begins!

Recommended music: The one that plays in the main Pokémon games when you battle a trainer. The older the version, the better.

Or just pick whatever music you prefer.

Emma drew her sword and faced the half-orcish bandit. Releasing a mighty battlecry, she ran towards her enemy, and her blade seemed to cut the air as she moved. The boots of her heavy red armor left deep footprints on the dirt of the old road. Like a fiery and fierce meteor, she crossed the distance between the thug and her, and the other bandits recoiled when they saw the fury of the Diustican fighter. They realized, too late, that they weren't facing a mere mortal warrior, but a war goddess incarnate. She was a crimson avatar of carnage, and she would surely crush them like bugs if they dared to fight back.

The flames of battle shone in Emma's blue eyes. The half-orc was right in front of her.

So she ran past him and slammed her face against a nearby tree.

Screaming a German swear word that Shinji had never heard before, Asuka grabbed her die, stood up and threw it with so much strength that it ended embedded into the wall. After a few seconds of tense silence, broken only by her angry panting, the girl sat and looked down, a blush of embarrassment appearing on her cheeks.

"Sorry about that," she mumbled.

Shinji took a new twenty-sided die from a small plastic bag and gave it to her.

"You're getting better," he said, hoping to cheer her up. "Those anger management classes are working."

"Thanks, Knuddelmaus."

The Dungeon Master turned to Kensuke.

"Your turn. What do you want to do?"

"Do you even have to ask?" the geek smirked. "It's werewolf time, baby!"

Kenneth clenched his teeth as a wave of pain, not unlike a small electrical shock, ran across his whole body, from the sole of his feet to the tip of his pointy ears. He could hear his own heart beating inside his ribcage, faster and faster. He could feel it pounding between his lungs. Brown fur began to grow in every inch of his skin, while the nails in both fingers and toes turned into sharp claws. His ragged and long shirt became skin-tight then the muscle mass underneath increased. As if it was clay being molded by an invisible hand, the half-elven head twisted into a bestial visage. The mouth grew into a long muzzle, filled with fangs clearly designed to rend flesh and crunch bones.

He didn't howl. Howling was for wolves, and he was as much of a wolf as he had ever been a whole human or a whole elf. No, his true nature was that of a monster, a thing that existed between humanity and beasts, between the light of sapience and the shadows of pure instinct. He belonged to neither world, and there was only one thing a monster like him could do:

Kenneth opened his maw and let out a thundering roar. It sounded like a bear or a lion, but also like warriors going berserk in the heat of battle. It echoed with the violence and bloodthirst of both the wild and the 'civilized' world. It was the voice of the beast inside the man, and of the man who surrenders to the beast.

"Your transformation takes your whole turn," Shinji explained. "However…" he rolled some dice behind the screen. "Two of the three human bandits are terrified, and won't attack until the next round."

"Nice!"

"Your turn, Rei. What do you want to do?"

"I want to roll Perception," she said, "to see if I the bandits have an emblem or any other common distinctive feature."

Shinji nodded, and the girl threw the die. While she only got a 12, her modifiers and her character's proficiency made sure that she succeeded.

"You notice something," the Dungeon Master explained. "The five have a strange coat of arms sown into their clothes: a black wasp over a red field."

"Do I recognize it?"

"Roll History."

Rei was about to do so; but stopped when she got an idea:

"Would ex-pilot Suzuhara have advantage in such a roll? While his character is not a bandit, he is a rogue."

"Mmmh…" Shinji thought about it, and declared: "Yes. Touji's character has knowledge about the local criminal bands, and he would roll with advantage."

"In that case, I bring the coat of arms to his attention, and then I use the rest of my turn to move Pinchy and the cart to a safer distance."

"Then it's my turn," the aforementioned athlete grabbed two twenty-sided dice. "Alright, the advantage thingy. Roll two, pick the highest. Let's do it!"

The plastic polyhedrons bounced across the table.

The first rolled a 1.

The second rolled a 1.

Everyone's mouth hung wide open –except Rei's, but she still opened it a few inches, which got the point across anyway–. After the initial shock, Kensuke took out his camera and recorded the dice, claiming that nobody would believe him without proof.

"So…" Touji scratched the back of his head. "Shin-man, what does this mean?"

"They're zombie ducks!" Thomas yelled.

The fight came to a screeching halt at those words. Bandits and adventurers stopped what they were doing and turned to stare at the rogue, raising confused eyebrows in perfect unison.

After a while, Baltika asked the only logical question:

"What?"

"Zombie ducks!" Thomas insisted. "I've seen them before! They stack on top of each other and disguise as people!" he pointed at the half-orc. "That one, over there! There's probably ten or twelve zombie ducks inside!"

The alluded bandit looked behind him, wondering if the enemy rogue was referring to someone else at his back.

"We have to kill them all!" Thomas declared as he loaded a bolt in his crossbow. "Before they infect us and turn us into their fowl servants!"

He fired, and the bolt lunged itself in the arm of the half-orc, since his chainmal didn't cover that part. He let out a loud roar of pain and anger, and that was more than enough to take everyone else out of the momentary stupor.

The halfling shot an arrow at Baltika, but perhaps Moradin was watching out for his servant, for the projectile clashed harmlessly against her shield.

One of the human bandits looked at his two companions. They were still trembling, terrified by the werewolf druid. Deciding that they needed to take him out of the picture as soon as possible, he grabbed a nearby stick and threw it over Kenneth's head.

"Roll Wisdom, Kensuke," Shinji said.

The geek shrugged and grabbed his die, not giving much importance to the demands of the Dungeon Master… until he remembered that, in D&D, Wisdom governed, among other things, willpower.

"No, dude…" Kensuke begged, fearful, getting an idea of what was happening. "Please, don't do this…"

"Just roll Wisdom," Shinji insisted.

With no more options, and unable to defy the Dungeon Master's will; the boy with glasses did as instructed.

He got a 2.

Kenneth got on all fours, turned around and ran, following the arc of the stick as it crossed the air. His tongue dangled from his mouth, and he panted and barked like an excited puppy.

"… Why?" Kensuke asked.

Shinji adopted the Gendo pose. Very serious, he looked at his friend and said:

"That is your punishment for taking pictures of my girlfriend without her permission and selling them."

"WHAT?" the geek couldn't believe his ears. "That was three years ago! She wasn't even your girlfriend back then!"

But the Dungeon Master shook his head. There would be no negotiations.

"Ugh," Kensuke groaned. "You're never gonna let me live that down, aren't you?"

"No," Shinji and Asuka responded, perfectly synchronized.

The half-orc bandit ripped the crossbow bolt out of his arm and threw it on the ground. Smirking, knowing that they wouldn't have to worry about the werewolf for a while, he approached Emma. She was still a bit dizzy after her botanical clash, and the thug took that chance to attack. The red-haired fighter could barely avoid such a dirty move, and the bandit's blade managed to cut through her armor. It opened a wound in her side, shallow but wide. Emma didn't scream or yelp, she just gritted her teeth and fought to get back on her feet.

Baltika gasped in horror when she saw that. Her instincts as both a paladin and a friend told her to run to the fighter's aid, but she was too far away. The dwarf knew she wouldn't make it in time. However, the human bandit, the one who had distracted Kenneth with a stick, was much closer. Baltika charged. With a mighty swing of her hammer, the brigand's leg was badly hurt and he fell to the ground.

Meanwhile, Emma stood up, ignoring the bleeding and tightened the grip on her sword's handle. She attacked the half-orc bandit and their weapons clashed.

"Rei, it's your turn again," Shinji said, "since Kenneth is still fetching the stick. What do you want to do?"

"I want to cast Eldritch Blast at the halfling bandit," she declared. "But first, I wish to do another Perception roll to see what surrounds him."

She threw the die. She succeeded. The Dungeon Master described the scenery to her, and the blue-haired girl made a choice.

Lilith closed her eyes, mumbling strange words in a language that very few creatures on that plane of existence knew existed, much less understood. She raised her arms, just a little, and a bizarre purple aura started to emanate from her fingers. Her shadow stirred, and tiny tendrils made of pure darkness sprouted from it, wriggling around the feet of the pale elf.

She opened her eyes, which were now of a cold indigo instead of red. Lilith extended both arms forward and her palms shot a torrent of swirling purple energy, aiming somewhere over the halfling bandit. He laughed at first, believing that she had missed; but then he decided to look up. His face became paler than Lilith's skin when he realized that he was standing right under the fat and large arm of a petrified giant… and the Eldritch Blast had just severed the elbow.

Despite the natural nimbleness of his race, the halfling was unable to avoid the falling debris, and ended up buried and crushed under the stone limb.

"Nice job!" Thomas said as he loaded a new bolt in his weapon. "Only four left! Let's teach these mummified mallards not to mess with us!"

He thought about shooting at the half-orc again, but that one was now farther away, and dangerously close to Emma. The rogue didn't want to risk harming his comrades with friendly fire. His eyes drifted to the human bandit that had been taken down by Baltika, who was now standing up again. Thomas decided to finish him before he could rejoin the fight.

"Wait!" the dwarven paladin yelled, as soon as she understood her friend's intentions. "I will disarm this one! Attack one of the other two!"

Indeed, the remaining human thugs had recovered from the shock of seeing Kenneth's monstrous form. It seemed that they were going to join their larger companion in fighting Emma, so Thomas aimed and shot, hitting one right in the neck. The ruffian fell down, letting out a dying gurgle.

The surviving one wasted no time and, mace in hand, ran towards the half-orc, who smirked when he saw him coming from the corner of his eye.

"Ha!" he cackled at Emma. "You're pretty good, manswine whore; but not even you can fight two of us at the same time! Not with that wound!"

The brutish halfbreed attacked with a vertical swing, but Emma managed to block it with her sword. A small stream of blood spurt from her damaged side, and a yelp escaped from her lips. This worried Baltika, but the paladin knew that she wouldn't be able to reach them in time. Instead, she focused on the neutralized human bandit, as she said she would. She hit him again, returning him to the ground, and then kicked his weapon away. Baltika pressed her shield against the thug's healthy leg, preventing him from moving.

"By Moradin's will, stay put," she ordered.

Meanwhile, Emma still held her ground against the half-orc, although the wound was beginning to take its toll. The red-haired warrior panted as sweat ran down her face. The pain coming from her bleeding side was becoming more poignant by the second. She saw the other bandit approaching, and although it irked her, she recognized that the halfbreed thug was right. In her current state, she wouldn't be able to take on both at once.

In a last and desperate move, the Diustican fighter swung her sword, diagonally and upwards, as she screamed with all the might of her lungs. Once again, the half-orc blocked the attack with his own sword.

But then, the bandit's blade snapped in half, unable to withstand the strength and fury in the woman's steel. Emma's weapon continued its arc and it sliced the half-orc's head in half.

He collapsed, his brains spilling into the ground from inside his open skull.

"Ha!" Asuka laughed. "Take that! Who's the manswine whore now?"

"Ew…" Hikari commented. "Shinji, is it really okay for you to describe such violent scenes?"

The German girl chuckled.

"You think this is violent?" she asked. "This is nothing. You should see our Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay sessions."

"Alright," Shinji said. "Only two enemies remain. One of them is unable to fight anymore, and the other is about to attack Emma. So…"

He noticed that Kensuke was staring dejectedly at his character sheet. Shinji looked at Asuka with questioning eyes, and his girlfriend, understanding what he wanted, nodded with a smile.

"Kensuke," the Dungeon Master called, "what's your Dexterity?"

"Uh? Um… In werewolf form, it's 16."

"I can work with that. Kenneth has caught the stick and he's free from its influence. Moving fast, he returns to the battle and has enough time left to perform a single attack. Make it count."

The geek's face lighted up with joy. He rolled.

Standing over the corpse of the half-orc, Emma knew that she couldn't rest yet. The last bandit was running towards her. She clenched her teeth, forced herself to ignore the pain in her side and raised her bloodied sword.

However, a ball of fury and brown fur tackled the incoming thug. Powerful jaws closed around his neck and snapped the vertebrae, and sharp fangs pierced the jugular, causing an almost instantaneous death. Still, the werewolf didn't stop. Kenneth dragged the corpse through the dusty ground, shredding it to pieces with maw and claw, snarling like a beast from a nightmare, spilling blood and guts everywhere.

After a while, the druidic lycanthrope stopped and stood in all his inhuman height. Red dripping from his arms and muzzle, he raised his head and signaled the end of the fight by releasing a blood-chilling roar.

"Good job, stooge," Asuka said. "Now, I'm gonna need one of those Cure wounds spells of yours."

Kensuke, who was celebrating the first kill of his character, lost all cheerfulness and sunk in his chair, sporting a sheepish smile.

"Eeeh…" he mumbled. "Well, you see… I can't cast spells in my werewolf form, and I can only transform once per day… And I would really like to stay like this a little longer… You know, in case there's another battle head."

Asuka rolled her eyes and sighed in exasperation.

"Alright, fine," she conceded. "We'll wait until the transformation runs its course."

"That's great, because it'll last for as long as I want it to."

"Oh, you motherf–"

Using one of the first-aid kits from Uncle Quoth, Emma stopped the bleeding and disinfected the wound. Because none of the bandits' weapons were better than the ones they had, Lilith gave them to Pinchy for a quick snack. Meanwhile, Thomas studied the remains of Kenneth's victim.

"Damn zombie ducks…" the rogue muttered. "They always do this! When they feel they're going to lose, they use ninja techniques to swap themselves with organs! That way, nobody suspects that the corpses were once inhabited by withering waterfowls!"

Baltika was still watching over the only surviving brigand. All the confidence and greed had disappeared from his face, and now he trembled in the shadow of the cart, rubbing his damaged leg. Soon, the rest of the party approached and formed a semicircle around him, staring with very unfriendly eyes.

"What shall we do with him?" Lilith asked.

"Let's ask some questions," Emma suggested. "Who knows, perhaps this scum saw something that could guide us to the canister. Hey. You."

The shaking bandit looked up, meeting with the blue gaze of the red-haired and red-armored fighter.

"How long have you lot been in Medusa's Wrath?"

He gulped, but didn't answer. His eyes drifted to Kenneth, whose body was still drenched in blood. Emma noticed that and smirked.

"Scared of him?" she asked. "You should be. He has a thing against fetching sticks, apparently it's offensive to werewolves," she bluffed. "I'm pretty sure he would be very happy to chew on your pancreas for a while."

Kenneth showed his fangs and snarled, although it sounded more like a perverse giggle. It worked, because the bandit recoiled.

"However," Emma quickly added, "we're not murderers; we just don't take kindly to being assaulted in the middle of the road. So, if you answer our questions, we'll let you go. Now, how long have you been in Medusa's Wrath?"

"A little more than a week!" the terrified ruffian spoke. "We were planning on moving soon, since almost nobody passes through here!"

"And in that time, did you ever saw someone suspicious coming from the direction of Mindflayers Fall? Recently? Perhaps carrying a strange-looking urn?"

The bandit shook his head.

"Are you sure?" Emma insisted, pointing at Kenneth with a thumb.

Smiling, the werewolf licked the blood from his lips.

"Yes!" the thug nodded. "I swear! We saw nothing strange, except for that cave!"

"What cave?" Lilith inquired.

"It's near the northern exit of the valley," the brigand explained. "We wanted to use it as a hideout, but there's something weird in there. Lights. Voices. Critters that don't belong in this part of the world, or any world. The deeper you go, the worse it gets; so we stayed away from that place."

"Could you give us some more specific directions?"

"Just go north. When you see a headless giant with a stork nest in the neck stump, turn east until you find a large oak. Go up the nearest hill from there, and you'll arrive in just a few minutes. The cave's entrance kinda looks like mouth of a manticore, you can't miss it."

The adventurers exchanged quick looks and nodded. There was no need to say anything.

Baltika approached the bandit and, in an action that elicited groans from her more cynical companions; gave him one of their two remaining first-aid kits.

"Use it on your leg," the dwarven paladin said. "Once you can walk again, go to Mindflayers Fall and look for Drogan of the Brasshelms clan. Tell him that I send you, and tell him about what has transpired here. He shall give you food, clothing and a job so that you can repay your debt to society and earn forgiveness."

For a moment, the bandit just stared at the paladin's present in disbelief. Perhaps it was the first time in his life that someone had showed him mercy. He certainly hadn't, not to his many victims, and he wouldn't if the roles were reversed.

The ruffian clutched the first-aid kid close to his chest and stood up, slowly, clumsily. Head low, he limped away from the cart and the party. It seemed that it was time to re-think his life.

Or not.

When he passed next to Lilith, the bandit dropped the first-aid kit and turned around at an impossible speed. Before the shocked eyes of the adventurers, he put a hand around the elf's throat, while using the other to immobilize her arms behind her back, grabbing them by the slender wrists.

"Don't move or I'll break her neck!" he threatened.

"Whoa, hold on!" Asuka interrupted. "A lame human managed to catch a healthy elf by surprise?"

Shinji shrugged.

"Rei failed her Acrobatics roll," he said. "There's nothing I can do."

"She didn't even roll with advantage!"

"Why would she have advantage? The bandit was right next to her and she wasn't looking."

"She's an elf!"

"So what?" Shinji's tone was growing angrier. "Maybe these bandits have experience in fighting elves! Besides, Lilith's a warlock, not a ninja! There's a limit to how fast she can react!"

Asuka stood up and threw a defying glare at the Dungeon Master.

"No!" she declared. "You don't get to ignore the racial traits just to make cool scenes! What's next? Killing a dragon with a wooden sword if we get a Natural 20? The dice aren't everything, Third!"

"Oh, really?" Shinji stood up as well, and stared daggers at the girl. "Because I remember that a certain someone once said, and I quote: 'You roll the die, accept the results and adapt to the situation!' What happened, Asuka?"

"You DARE?!"

The other players watched, in amazement and a bit of fear, as their two friends escalated in their shouting match. Their faces were becoming red with anger. Hikari, Kensuke and Touji exchanged worried looks.

Not Rei, though. She remained calm, raised a hand and folded her fingers, one by one, as she counted:

"Five. Four. Three. Two. One."

And the screams ceased.

Asuka and Shinji were sharing a passionate kiss, their arms wrapped around each other. The Dungeon Master fell on his chair, his girlfriend comfortably seated on his legs.

"Ugh," Touji groaned. "At least get a room!"

The adventurers had their hands on their weapons, but none dared to draw. Kenneth growled, showing his fangs and with the fur on his neck bristly; but he kept his distance.

"Repay my debt to society?" the bandit cackled, mockingly, tightening his grip on his hostage. "Earn forgiveness? Ha! I'd rather die than be an honest citizen!"

Other than a slight grimace of disgust at the thug's touch, Lilith's face remained calm and neutral.

"Now," he continued. "You're going to step back and tie each other up while I take your cart, with all your supplies and weapons, of course. This lovely lady is coming with me too, just in case, and you better not follow me, or she will… Hey, stop touching my belly, knife-ears!"

And the bandit's back burst open as a blast of purple energy vaporized his insides. His grip on the blue-haired warlock loosened, and his corpse fell backwards, now having a smoking hole where his stomach used to be.

Lilith brushed off some dust and dirt off her dress, glared at the cadaver and, with a cold voice and despise in her red eyes, she said:

"Never touch me again without my permission."

A sad and disappointed Baltika shook her head.

"The Dwarf-Father forgives many things; but stupidity ain't one of them."

"Yeah," Thomas added. "Stupid zombie ducks…"

To be continued…

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AUTHOR'S NOTES:

This fight has been in my head for a long time, so this chapter was somewhat easy to write. The level of violence has gone up a bit; I hope it isn't too gruesome. Also, I hope you liked my little callback to Lucky Rolls at the end there.

I have no idea on how to continue from here, so the next update will probably be another interlude.

I didn't investigate too much about the combat mechanics. My apologies if there are inaccuracies.

Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay is a game notorious for being much more realistic and merciless than D&D. Characters get nasty diseases, go insane and often die before they have time to do anything heroic. As someone once put it: "It's a game where you roll a peasant and die of cholera."

Knuddelmaus means 'cuddle mouse.'

As always, many thanks for the follows, the favorites and the reviews. Your support means a lot to me. Special thanks to Lexarius for his advice and help.

Take care! See you in the next chapter!

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GLOSSARY OF D&D WORDS:

Yuan-ti: Evil snake-people.

Eldritch Blast: The basic spell of the warlock, at least in 3rd Edition. It's like a Kamehameha, but made of spooky energy.

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OMAKE: The Gang Tries Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay

"So let me get this straight," Touji said. "I'm a Miner with a broken nose, Ken's a 210-pound Charcoal-Burner with a lazy eye, the class rep is a halfling Barber-Surgeon with six siblings and only one eyebrow, Sohryu's a sixteen-year old Peasant who somehow has the highest Weapon Skill of all of us, and Ayanami, despite being an Initiate of the local god of death and having pox marks, is the most attractive member of the party."

"Yep," Shinji nodded.

"And now, on top of all that, we're going to get friggin' mutations?"

"That's the adventure hook. Your quest will be to find a cure for the mutations before the witch hunters catch you. Come on, Touji, you go first."

The athlete rolled his dice. Shinji wrote down the result and looked into his copy of the Tome of Corruption.

"Oh…" he went pale. "I'm sorry. I'm afraid you've turned into a chaos spawn."

"What does that mean?" Touji asked.

"It means that your character becomes a hostile NPC. You'll have to roll a new one later."

"What."

"Also, your character gains the following mutations…" Shinji rolled many dice behind the Dungeon Master's Screen. "Mindless, Multiple Heads, Multiple Arms, Tentacle Fingers, Beast With a Thousand Nipples, Bird's Leg, Extra Joints, Foul Stench and Blood Substitution –you now bleed small birds–. Everyone else, please do a Will Power Test. If you fail, you gain 1 Insanity Point."

"I like this game already," Rei smiled.