A/N: Hey all! Here is a little less than half the update I promised you. I had to split it up because the chapter was just getting too long, and I felt like this part could standalone on its own - and that it probably should considering the events in it that take place.
I'd like to thank you all for reading and reviewing.
I am currently in the process of working on the last part of chapter 8, so I intend to update sooner rather than later.
As usual, shout out to my excellent beta and tumblr wifey, livingdeadblondegirl. She always gets my work back to me so promptly even when I'm slacking on hers.
This is a sad chapter, so you've been warned. Like I said, once the funeral stuff is over the mood will get a little lighter. Bear with me please!
The early morning sun peering through the windows downstairs served as a natural alarm clock for him. A part of him was actually looking forward to Bonnie and Kol's departure so he could return to the sofa bed upstairs and at least have a decent shot at sleep. Though he knew regardless of where he slept, the night would always be restless.
His mind was constantly on, dwelling on the past, thinking about Elijah, obsessing over the silence from Grayson's nursery. By the time he woke up, he felt more mentally exhausted than he had before he tried to sleep. It was like he had been thinking the entire night.
He sat up from the couch and wiped his sleep encrusted eyes. The house was completely silent. Everyone else must still be sleeping, he assumed.
The silence became deafening as he glanced into the living room and then behind him into the kitchen.
A part of him still expected to see Elijah in the kitchen making coffee and Elena carrying Grayson around.
It was those moments where he felt like he was having an out of body experience, watching a terrible nightmare unfold.
It was those moments where he felt like he didn't belong here.
He felt like he was intruding.
This wasn't his home. This was Elena's childhood home that she and Elijah had adopted as their own with Grayson.
Then it would dawn on him, as it had a hundred times; that Elijah and Elena were no longer here.
He let out a sharp sigh.
No matter how many times he thought about it, it never hurt any less. It never made him feel any less sick to his stomach.
Today would make Elena and Elijah's permanent absence even more of a reality.
He dreaded this day more than any other.
It pained him to think about his brother and his sister-in-law being lowered six feet underground.
In a way, it was incomprehensible.
How could he conceive of two deceased bodies being lowered into the ground that just a few days ago had been two living and breathing people that had been so important to him? Who were still so important to him?
He had felt the same way when they buried Henrik.
A part of him didn't even want to go. He didn't want to see Elena and Elijah buried underground. He didn't want to see his parents feign grief over it. He didn't want to see Rebekah or Kol mourn as it happened. He didn't want to hear Caroline cry again. Mostly though, he didn't think he could bear to see Grayson there - completely innocent and unaware of what was happening.
The pain of it would all would only turn to annoyance come the afternoon when he would be forced to accept the condolences of old acquaintances and strangers he had never met before.
He didn't like the idea of his grief being made a spectacle of for people to come and witness. It seemed barbaric.
He would much rather grieve alone; to sip some of Elijah's favourite Scotch, while listening to some of the music they had grown up listening to as teenagers, and pouring his emotion onto a blank page or canvas.
Tuning out was no longer a luxury he had, as Caroline had sternly reminded him the other day. He was no longer responsible for just himself - but Grayson as well. Time to himself would be rare.
It was a sacrifice he knew he had to make. There were a lot of sacrifices he was going to have to make, he thought, glancing over at his half empty pack of cigarettes on the side table. Last night, however, affirmed for him that they would be worth it if it meant they ensured Grayson would remain out of his parents' care. When he promised Caroline that he refused to let his parents take Grayson away from them, he meant it.
He stood up from the couch and decided he should probably grab a shower before anyone else claimed the bathroom. Nobody wanted to use Elijah and Elena's ensuite. He grabbed his supplies that he still refused to unpack from his luggage along with his black suit pants and shirt.
The dinner had unfolded as he expected it would, he thought as he headed for the stairs. He anticipated his father's scathing remarks and his mother's judgemental attitude. He predicted what their reactions would be regarding the will and Grayson. At least in that way, he hadn't been disappointed.
When he reached the top of the stairs, he glanced at the closed door to the room Caroline was staying in.
Caroline had been disappointed, though. She was always so optimistic, trying to see the positive side of every situation. She had hoped that maybe Mikael and Esther would be receptive to the new arrangements, that maybe they could convince his parents. That hadn't happened.
The dissonance between her expectations and reality had resulted in her walking out of the restaurant. He didn't blame her. She was not as accustomed to dealing with his parents as he was. He felt guilty; as though he should have done more to protect her even though he really had no direct obligation to her. Rebekah had gone after her though when he had hesitated.
Caroline's disappointment with how the night had gone, combined with everything else, had ultimately culminated in her unexpected break down in front of him once they returned home.
Her devastation had filled him with an unexplainable sense of anxiety and trepidation.
It unnerved him to see the person he thought had it together best crack. He wasn't accustomed to seeing her so upset.
She hid her pain well.
The fact that she had chose to reveal her pain to him was both assuaging and unnerving.
Though her sadness frightened him, shockingly his first instinct had not been to flee from the situation and leave her alone. Instead, he had been compelled to comfort her.
Comforting someone was not something he made a habit out of. He hated being confronted with anyone's emotions - particularly his own.
But for some reason, with her, he couldn't help himself. He chalked it up to a sense of guilt over the way his parents had treated her, as though he was responsible for their actions.
After he had made his promise to her to keep his parents away from Grayson, she cried awhile longer, before he encouraged her to go to bed early. She heeded his advice, leaving him in Elena and Elijah's room for her own. She had been there ever since.
It had crossed his mind to wake her up - knowing that she would probably be annoyed if she was left to sleep in, especially today - but he decided against it. He was sure it would annoy her more to have him knocking on the door or entering her room to wake her. It would probably be overstepping some sort of boundary they hadn't had time to set up yet. He would leave it for Bonnie to handle.
He turned away from her closed door and entered the bathroom. He peered quietly into Grayson's room before his shower to ensure he was still asleep; luckily for him, he was.
Barely out of the shower for ten minutes, Kol started to bang incessantly on the door to be let in.
He finished quickly before unlocking the door to the hall.
Kol burst in, sparing no formalities, before seating himself on the toilet.
"I think that spicy chicken I ate last night has gotten the better of me," Kol groaned.
He cursed his brother before slipping into Grayson's room, shutting the bathroom door behind him.
He was startled to see Caroline at the change table with Grayson.
"Kol really isn't one for subtlety is he?" Caroline mused as she fixed a new diaper to Grayson's bottom.
"No," he replied, smiling slightly. "Did Grayson wake you up?" he wondered, noticing the way her hair was hastily put into a messy bun and the pyjama pants and tank top she was wearing.
She shook her head.
"I've been awake for awhile. I heard the shower start and I figured it was probably time to wake Grayson up and get him ready," she shrugged, glancing at him.
Her eyes appeared swollen from the tears she had shed the night before.
"That way he'll be taken care of so I can get ready and we can get everything else ready for today," she explained.
"What else needs to be done?" he asked.
"Not a lot, but I just assumed that your family and Elena's family would probably be coming over here in between the burial and the Grill, so I wanted to clean up a little and maybe put a tray of food together," she suggested.
"Can I help?" he offered, knowing what her response would be.
She shook her head.
"It's okay," she assured him. "Bonnie will give me a hand with the food."
He sighed in protest as she buttoned up Grayson's white onesie.
"You could take care of Grayson," she finally relented, "Keep him occupied."
He nodded readily, taking Caroline's place in front of the change table as she rummaged through his closet and dresser for appropriate clothing.
She returned with little socks, black jean-like pants and a small white collared button up shirt.
"I guess this will have to suffice for today," Caroline sighed. "This was Elena's favourite dressy outfit to dress Grayson in," she informed him. "It's really the only dressy thing he has to wear."
He bit the inside of his cheek as Grayson looked up at the both of them unknowingly.
Caroline began putting his chubby little legs into the pants.
He doubted that it had ever entered Elena's mind that Grayson would be wearing this outfit to her own funeral.
The realization that they were dressing Grayson for his own parents' funeral made him cringe.
Judging by the pained expression on Caroline's face, he could tell the same realization was confronting her as well.
A part of him was relieved that Grayson was oblivious to what was going on. Sure, he was certain Grayson probably felt the absence of Elena and Elijah, but he was too young to fully experience the pain of the loss. Another part of him felt sorry that Grayson would never get to know either of his parents. He wondered if the pain of never knowing them at all would be worse than the pain of loving them and losing them? He supposed he wouldn't know. The reality of the situation was that Grayson had lost both of his parents before he was even a year old.
He took the shirt off the changing table before Caroline could get to it, and urged a squirmy Grayson to put his arms into the sleeves.
"We're probably gonna have to cover this shirt with a sweater or something if we want to keep it clean," he said casually.
He was not expecting the shaky sigh from Caroline's lips in response.
She looked away when he looked over at her.
"Remember what I said yesterday night?" he said as he began to do the buttons up on Grayson's shirt.
Caroline was quiet.
"You don't have to pretend with me," he encouraged her. "Especially me, now that we're raising Grayson together."
She sniffled and ran her hands under her eyes to keep her tears at bay.
"I'm fine," she stated firmly.
He glared at her incredulously.
"We both know that's bullshit. Last night made that clear," he breathed. "You're hurting...grieving."
"So is everyone else," she retorted.
She was stubborn to a fault.
"Yes," he acknowledged, "we're all going through the same thing. That means you can talk to us...to me," he offered. "You don't have to keep what you're feeling bottled up."
"Neither do you," she countered with a critical stare.
He hated when people tried to turn his own advice back onto himself.
Grayson started to whimper and fidget.
He looked back at her persistently.
"Klaus, I'm fine, okay? I'll be fine. Just leave it alone," she urged him, handing him the sweater Grayson had worn yesterday night.
Relenting to her insistence, he nodded passively as he took the sweater and picked Grayson up from the change table.
"I'll take him downstairs," he informed her. "Go get ready."
The bright sun in the sky was deceiving.
A heavy wind and the remaining snow on the ground told the real story.
It was still cold outside.
He had to resort to borrowing one of Elijah's scarves and a pair of his gloves. Having packed hastily before he left, bringing winter apparel - save for his coat - had not even dawned on him. He hadn't even packed sunglasses to shield his eyes from the sun.
Since the ground had barely begun to thaw, special equipment had to be brought in to dig the holes for Elena and Elijah's caskets; the holes that they were now standing in front of as Elena and Elijah's caskets rested above, waiting to be lowered down into them. Their shared headstone was already in place. It was torturous to read their names, but especially the birthdates. They were both so young.
Caroline stood to his right, dressed warmly in a black overcoat and a knitted hat. Her oversized black sunglasses hid the pain in her eyes, but he could still decipher the path her tears had taken down her cheeks. She was holding tightly onto Grayson who was bundled snugly into a blue snowsuit.
He clenched his jaw, feeling inclined to say something to Caroline but unable to find any words.
Bonnie and Kol were standing to his left. Kol had a warm arm wrapped around Bonnie as they both stood in silence.
Elena's uncle and aunt both stood with their respective spouses across from them. He had said little to them since their arrival; Caroline had done most of the talking. Surprisingly, none of them had raised much of an issue when it came to the will or custody of Grayson. Unlike his parents, they seemed to respect Elena and Elijah's wishes and trusted their judgement.
The funeral director and two of his employees were quietly discussing something off to the side.
They were all awaiting the arrival of his parents, along with Rebekah, Finn, Sage, and their children.
Rebekah had texted him earlier informing him of their mother's overdramatic - most likely liquor fueled - break down in her hotel suite earlier this morning. He suspected that it probably had something to do with their lateness. His parents always had a way of making something that had little to do with them all about them in the end.
They embarrassed him, especially in front of Elena's distant relatives who were all impatiently waiting for the burial to begin.
"Grayson shouldn't stay out here much longer," Caroline said to him.
"Then we'll have it start without them," he stated decidedly.
After a few more minutes of waiting - mainly for Rebekah's sake - he was ready to interrupt the funeral director's conversation to begin the burial, when two cars pulled up on the small road that weaved through the cemetery.
He saw both his mother and father step out of the first car, along with Rebekah. He scowled at the sight of his mother in a gaudy black fur coat.
Finn and Sage stepped out of the second vehicle with Liam and Emma close behind. They had grown since he'd seen them last - Elijah and Elena's wedding being the last time. Admittedly, he hadn't been a very involved uncle with them, not like he had been in the past six months with Grayson. He surmised it had something to do with his strained relationship with Finn and the distance more than anything else. As he watched them approach, he couldn't help but compare them to Grayson. In only a few years Grayson would be as Liam and Emma were now. It amazed him and scared the hell out of him all at once.
Once they arrived, Mikael and Esther brushed by both him and Caroline without so much as a word - not even to Grayson. They offered no apology for their late arrival.
Finn and Sage gave him a subdued and quiet greeting before offering Caroline the same, lingering a minute longer with her to see Grayson.
Rebekah was holding onto Liam and Emma's hands as she walked them up to the burial site. They stood beside Kol, who was the only familiar uncle to them here.
When everyone was quietly settled, the funeral director - who also served as their celebrant - stepped forward to begin the burial.
It was such a surreal moment for him that barely any of the words said registered with him. He was sure a few reflections were made on the kind of people Elijah and Elena were and the kind of parents they hoped to be for Grayson. A few prayers were also spoken. However, his mind had been preoccupied by memories he shared with Elijah.
While there were a few from when they were older - drunken nights spent at the beach carelessly lighting off fireworks - most were confined to the childhood they had shared together - bike riding, fort building, and soccer playing. While it hadn't always been pleasant, they had worked with what they had. Elijah had not only been his brother but also his best friend.
It was no longer the wind and cold air making his eyes sting and well with water.
The longer he thought about Elijah, the harder he stared between both caskets and Grayson, the more difficult it became to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall.
Caroline was weeping beside him as she stood alone with Grayson, and from what he could tell, all of the other women were crying too, his mother included.
It almost angered him to see his mother cry. Sure, she had birthed Elijah and raised him to some extent, but she had barely been a mother to any of them. What right did she have to mourn his loss so painfully? She hardly knew Elijah.
Though his father's stoic reaction seemed cold and heartless, it was more appropriate coming from him. He respected it more than his mother's fake act of devastation. At least he didn't pretend to have any heartbreaking emotion over the loss of a son he had virtually no relationship with.
Given the nature of the weather, the director's words were short, but affective. He was able to put into succinct words what those closest to them wanted to say to honour Elijah and Elena but weren't capable of at the time. There was no way he'd be able to say anything remotely coherent about his brother or Elena in front of their final resting place without breaking down. Having the director summarize their thoughts and memories of Elijah and Elena was easier and he was much more eloquent than any of them would ever be.
At the end of the short service, they were all handed two roses to place atop both caskets.
They all took turns, starting with Elena's relatives.
To his surprise, his parents participated in the symbolic gesture without complaint or issue.
When it was his turn, he moved solemnly towards Elena's casket first, placing his rose with the others before reluctantly moving towards Elijah's.
He paused in front of the casket and stared down at it for a few moments.
The sight effectively confirmed to him that his brother was gone and really wasn't coming back.
Biting the edge of his lip, he rubbed his gloved hand over his face.
"I love you, brother," he whispered under his breath, a stray tear or two falling from his eyes as he dropped the single flower atop the rest.
Both Kol and Rebekah patted him on the back as he returned to his place and nodded towards Caroline to take her turn.
He watched as she headed for Elijah's casket first. She leaned down with Grayson to place one rose for herself and another for Grayson.
Rebekah whimpered beside him at the sight and it was all he could do to keep himself from doing the same.
The real tragedy in all of this was that Elijah and Elena had left behind their son. Their deaths had seen to it that Grayson would never know his parents beyond home videos, photographs, and second-hand recollections.
Caroline then turned for Elena's casket, breaking down the moment she began her approach.
He winced as she let out a few restrained sobs.
She extended her hand, placing both roses with the others, as Grayson seemed to reach out for them.
Grayson's coincidental gesture seemed to provoke an even more intense response from Caroline, who began to cry harder.
He looked away briefly before reluctantly pushing himself forwards.
Meeting Bonnie half way, he took Grayson from Caroline as Bonnie wrapped her arms around her friend, pulling her back gradually from Elena's casket.
They didn't stay behind to watch the caskets be lowered into the ground. It was advised against anyways in case there were any mechanical mishaps.
So, as Caroline retreated back to the car alone - having urged Bonnie to stay behind - he with Grayson, Kol, Bonnie, and Rebekah decided to pay a brief visit to another headstone a few rows over.
Obviously having had the same idea, his parents, along with Finn, Sage, Liam, and Emma, were already there.
The black headstone, etched with some of his favourite comic book characters, had been selected by Henrik himself. He had helped him design it before he passed.
He sighed as his eyes travelled over the dates: January 14th 1994 - January 27th 2007.
Henrik was yet another - another brother - who had lost his life way too soon.
"It's nice to see you had the decency to come pay your respects to your dear brother Henrik," Esther said to them.
He rolled his eyes as he shielded Grayson's face from the wind and made sure his hands were tucked securely inside his snow suit.
"Where's Caroline?" Mikael asked, with his trademark critical tone.
"Talking to Elena's relatives, I think," Bonnie stepped in, covering for her absence, even though it was unnecessary.
Mikael was not owed an explanation.
He looked back down at the headstone guiltily. It hadn't even been ten years yet and he was already starting to forget; forget the way Henrik's cracking pubescent voice sounded; the way he laughed; the way he looked. Sometimes he would come up blank when he tried to imagine him. As time went by he found it increasingly difficult to draw Henrik from memory as he had done so many times before. He wondered if in time his memory of Elijah and Elena would begin to fade in the same way.
"This is where Elijah should have been buried," Mikael snarled, "with his family. Not in some Gilbert family plot. Elijah wasn't a Gilbert; he was a Mikaelson."
All of them shot cold glares in his father's direction for such callous remarks.
"Elena was Elijah's wife," he said in his brother's defence. "He wanted to be buried beside her. I think Henrik would understand."
Mikael snarled under his breath.
"I'm sure Elijah and Henrik are together in spirit," Finn interjected, trying to alleviate the hostile tension he and his father had a habit of creating.
It would do nothing to stop either of them. Mikael always had to have the last word and he always had to prevent him from getting it.
After last night and this morning, that desire was only intensified. The anger he felt towards his father had never been more persistent.
"Elijah always was ashamed of us," Mikael seethed.
He scoffed.
"No, Father, only of you," he corrected, taking one final moment to himself for Henrik before turning on his heel and heading back towards the car.
Confusion struck him when Caroline wasn't waiting for them in the car like he had thought she would be. He tried opening one of the doors but it was locked and Caroline had the keys.
He glanced down both directions of the small cemetery road but saw no one. Elena's relatives were gone. Their vehicle, along with the ones his parents and Finn and Sage had arrived in, were the only ones there.
Circling back towards Elena and Elijah's graves, assuming she would be there, the only people he saw were the cemetery groundskeepers and the funeral home employees.
He stopped to regain his bearings.
Shielding his eyes from the sun, he scanned the cemetery for Caroline's whereabouts. She couldn't have gone far without a vehicle, on foot in heeled boots no less. He hadn't even been standing at Henrik's headstone for more than a few minutes.
That's when he caught sight of her in the distance, six or seven rows down, standing beside a tall pine tree.
He switched a half-awake Grayson to his other arm, noticing how heavy he was becoming holding him for an extended period of time before trekking towards Caroline.
When he realized that she was standing in front of a headstone, he slowed, hanging back a few feet.
She didn't know he was standing there. The fact that she was openly crying told him as much.
He moved a little closer, enough to discern who the headstone belonged to.
Elizabeth Pamela Forbes, May 3rd 1964 - December 18th 2011.
He sucked in a quiet breath as he began to put two and two together.
Elizabeth Forbes was Caroline's mom, if he recalled correctly. He knew her better though through her employment with the Mystic Falls Police Department. He had been an occasional visitor there as a teenager and knew most of the officers then by name. Just before he had skipped town Caroline's mom had been promoted to Sheriff.
He thought back to his past conversations with Caroline, searching for a time when she might have mentioned her parents - or at least her mom. He was sure she never had, and he was confident that he had never asked. He hadn't thought to. Their connection had slipped his mind at the time. Talk of his chaotic family had overshadowed any talk of hers, but then he was certain that she had probably also avoided the topic for reasons that had now been made clear to him.
Something tragic had happened to Caroline's mother, given her age, and he suspected that it - more so than her break up with Tyler - was the cause of Caroline's return to Mystic Falls.
Grayson let out an unexpected burst of babble, effectively tipping Caroline off that they had been standing behind her.
As she turned around, her body froze like a bewildered deer caught in headlights.
She glanced back at her mother's headstone before looking back at him, realizing that he had noticed who she was crying over.
Wiping her eyes underneath the frames of her sunglasses, she tried with some difficulty to regain her composure in front of him.
"Are you ready to go?" he asked simply, ignoring the topic of her mother.
She nodded with a small appreciative smile.
Reviews are always welcomed and greatly appreciated. Just sayin' guys...
Next up (and I promise) in chapter 8: Caroline finds she has an unexpected ally, Klaus and Caroline each have their own encounters with Mikael and Esther, Klaroline has a moment with Grayson, past characters are reintroduced, a new character comes aboard, and Klaus and Caroline have a bit of a set back. dun dun dun.