I love Janto: I'm sure he'd find some way to get back at them other than decaf. They definitely shouldn't mess with either of those things. Aw, poor Jack.
AU in which Ianto is the 51st century immortal instead of Jack.
"You don't talk a lot," Jack said. "I'd expect you to have a lot of stories with all your centuries. If I was in your shoes I'd plenty of stories about naughty things I did with aliens." Jack winked at Ianto who rolled his eyes.
"So you'd be exactly the same as you are now then?" Ianto asked. Jack laughed.