Disclaimer: I, by no means, claim to own anything remotely related to the Glee Universe. No copyright infringement intended.
The Beginning of Us
Hi, Rachel, it's Quinn here. I hope you don't mind that I got your number from Kurt, which I know probably isn't proper blind date etiquette, but I've been left with no choice. I'm unsure if anyone made you aware, but I actually have a daughter, and I'm afraid the babysitter I organised for tonight seems to have fallen through at the last minute. I've been unable to find another on such short notice. I know finally picking a date to do this has been difficult for us, which is why I'm not texting to cancel. If you would be amenable, perhaps you could come to my place and I could cook us dinner instead. Beth should be down (hopefully) by seven, so I like to think we'll have ample opportunity still to have a decent night. I hope none of this is a dealbreaker, and I apologise for the change in plans. Do let me know your thoughts on the matter.
Quinn
When Rachel receives the text, she doesn't know what to make of it at first.
All she knows about the blind date Kurt insists on setting her up on is that she's meant to arrive at Kurt's favourite restaurant, Foreign City, at precisely eight o'clock to meet a woman named Quinn for dinner.
But, now, well, this.
It's not a dealbreaker, obviously, but it does make her nervous. She doesn't think she's really prepared for dinner at Quinn's home. That seems rather... intimate for a date - let alone a first - and they haven't even met each other yet. Quinn is basically a stranger, regardless of the fact she and Kurt work together.
Also, she's unsure how she feels about the idea of Quinn being a mother. It's not as if she doesn't like children. In fact, she likes them just fine. It's just that she doesn't think she's particularly ready for the kind of responsibility possibly dating a parent may or may not present.
Rachel considers texting Kurt to ask for some advice, but he's been insisting she and Quinn would hit it off, and she really doesn't want to be his asshole friend who ruins whatever friendship he has with Quinn by mom-shaming. Which she's not doing.
Just.
Rachel isn't looking for something serious. Not even anything casual, really. If she had it her way, she wouldn't be looking at all, but Kurt thinks it's time for her to 'get out there' again, and it's exhausting trying to evade his persistence. She thinks it would be nice to talk to another adult about things not related to work and her career, which is why she eventually agreed, at all. She picked out a dress already, willing to spend her only night off with a complete stranger, but now she's meant to do that in said stranger's home.
At least she's not a serial killer, right?
With a sigh, she texts Quinn back with a gentle confirmation. What's one night? It probably won't be as terrible as she's imagining. Kurt wouldn't set her up with someone she wouldn't at least get along with.
Well.
There was that one blind date that they never speak about, though Rachel is always quick to remind Kurt that he set her up with a man who, at some point in the evening, told her he wanted to make out with her nose. At least it's a story to tell and, at the very least, this experience with Quinn will probably also be.
Quinn sends a reply right back, confirming the address and time, and adding I'm so sorry to do this to you, but you're a superstar for agreeing, so thank you, and Rachel does the completely unexpected thing and actually blushes.
Rachel doesn't reply again, not sure she's willing to continue a conversation until they've met in person. She's curious, now. More so than she was before. Kurt has told her little more about this Quinn than that she's stunning and a great conversationalist.
At this point, Rachel is willing to take his word for it.
Because it is her day off, she spends most of her free hours lounging around her apartment before she goes out for a light lunch with Tina. Her friends are clearly all on board with the whole Get-Rachel-a-Date thing, so Tina already knows she has plans for the evening.
Though, even she looks a little thrown when Rachel explains the change in plans. "Oh."
"Oh, what?" Rachel asks, sipping her water.
"Kurt didn't mention she was a mother," Tina says. "Dating a parent is something different, Rachel."
"I'm aware."
Tina gives her a look, as if her awareness means nothing. Tina and Mike have two children of their own, both under five years old, and Rachel adores them. In bursts. Never for long periods at a time.
She's always imagined she would feel different about her own children, but she's never thought all that much about a significant other's.
"We haven't even met, yet," Rachel says, almost rolling her eyes. "We could be startlingly incompatible."
"And, if you're not?" Tina presses. "If you like her and want to pursue something with her?"
"Slow down, T," Rachel says. "You and Kurt have been singing from the rooftops that I should be getting out there, and I've finally agreed. It could definitely not work out, but we won't know unless I try, right?"
Tina still looks a little worried, but she eventually nods. "So, if you're not going to the restaurant anymore, what are you going to wear instead?"
Rachel hums in thought, because she hasn't actually thought about it. "Something casual, I suppose," she says. "But still smart. I don't know."
Tina leans forward, elbows on the table, and the two of them spend the next twenty minutes coming up with the perfect outfit. They eventually decide on something extremely smart casual, and Rachel feels settled enough to return to her apartment and not actually freak out about what she's going to wear.
Her afternoon passes slowly. Her days off are generally relaxed, with her enjoying a good book and a glass of wine. Today, she does some laundry and gives her kitchen a good scrub. She has quite a bit of nervous energy that she's trying to purge, but she's not sure it works.
She tries to time herself well, but she's ready far too early, and then has to sit around for a while, anxiously waiting for a suitable time to leave so she's not late. And not early, either. She's sure Quinn won't appreciate her showing up any time other than exactly when they decided.
When she can't sit still anymore, she leaves, deciding she can walk. It's not too far, and the evening is cool enough. On her way, she stops to pick up some wine, as well as a small, stuffed kangaroo she spots in the checkout aisle. It wouldn't hurt. Making kids smile is always fun.
In the end, she arrives exactly on time, being let into the building by a lovely old man, who must deem her trustworthy and harmless. Rachel briefly contemplates staying outside to get Quinn to buzz her in, just to be polite, but the old man holds the door for her, and Rachel isn't going to be rude.
She thinks she should send a text to Quinn that her arrival is imminent, but her signal is terrible in the elevator to the seventh floor, and then she's standing in front of Apartment 7C.
She takes a breath, settles herself, and then knocks on the door. The first thing she hears is a thud, another thud, a hushed curse word, and then rushing feet.
Honestly, Rachel isn't sure what to expect when the door opens. She's had some time to think over how she expects this night to go, but she gets something of a surprise when the door opens to reveal a blonde woman.
A stunning blonde woman, who is wearing sweats and glasses, and sporting bare feet.
Quinn says, "Oh, my God," in lieu of a greeting, her eyes a little wide, and Rachel is rendered speechless by just how striking her features are. "You're here already. Shit. Come in. Just - we had a little situation, and I've just managed to get Beth down, and the food's still cooking, and I haven't even had time to put on something decent. You must think I'm a troll right now, and I'm sorry this is all such a mess, but I - " she stops and sucks in a breath. "Hi."
Rachel feels a smile spread across her face, so thoroughly charmed. "Hi."
Quinn's smile is a little nervous. "This is starting out great, isn't it?"
Rachel chuckles. "For what it's worth, I think you look gorgeous."
Quinn shakes her head in disbelief, and then steps back, waving an arm to invite Rachel inside. "We've just met, and you're already lying to me."
"I wouldn't," Rachel lightly defends. "I just - I really like the look you're going for. I feel totally overdressed."
Quinn laughs, and it is a glorious sound. "She's already teasing me, too," she comments with a slight eye-roll.
"This is for you," Rachel says, holding out the bottle of wine, the stuffed kangaroo hidden in her pocket. She still hasn't decided if it's considered overstepping to offer such a thing.
"Oh, thank you," Quinn says, smiling softly as she takes the bottle. "This should go well with dinner."
Rachel is inwardly pleased. She's not entirely hopeless, it seems.
"Can I take your coat?" Quinn asks.
Rachel nods, carefully sliding the garment off her shoulders as Quinn closes the door behind her. She watches, a little fascinated, as Quinn moves around her living area. She's light on her feet, dodging furniture and a handful of toys left in the middle of the carpet.
"Let me pour you some of this," Quinn says quite suddenly, once Rachel's coat is put away. "I can get you set up, and then pop into my room for a moment." It's as if she's not even talking to Rachel, nodding to herself, and Rachel is enjoying every second of it.
"That sounds good," Rachel says, and Quinn snaps to attention, as if she's just remembering Rachel can hear her.
"Right, okay," she says. "Follow me."
Rachel follows Quinn into the kitchen space, and slides onto a stool when Quinn offers. Instead of the wine she's brought, she picks white wine when Quinn explains the alternate selection, and then nods when Quinn asks her to keep an eye on a simmering pot.
"I'll be right back," she says. "Make yourself comfortable. Ten minutes, tops." She starts to leave the kitchen, but stops quite suddenly, turning back and looking unsure for the first time. "Please don't leave."
Rachel's chest aches at the vulnerability in her voice, so she immediately says, "I'm not going anywhere," and means it.
Quinn smiles gently in response, and then disappears from sight, leaving Rachel to take in her new surroundings. The apartment is really nice. Spacious in a way that's difficult to find in New York. The colours are warm tones, beiges and browns, and it feels lived in.
It's tidy, given there's a child living here. Most things seem to have a specific place, except for a pile of books here and there. She's curious, so she lifts her glass and does a little exploring.
Starting with the outside of the fridge. Rachel doesn't know how old Beth is, but her art indicates she's still quite young. There are a handful of pictures stuck up with magnets of American monuments, and a weekly schedule that Rachel forces herself not to read. There are a handful of photographs, mainly of Quinn and Beth, as well as another pair of women.
Beth is incredibly cute, and the women are beautiful. What is Rachel even doing here?
She moves on, leaving the kitchen in search of more pictures. She finds books instead, and spends a few minutes studying the titles. She's sure she can learn a lot about Quinn, just based on her reading choices. It's kind of like music that way.
John Grisham is popular, Jeffrey Archer, Mark Gimenez. And then there are children's books aplenty, some with pictures and others without. Is Beth old enough to read?
When Quinn finally returns, her feet are still bare and it's been twelve minutes. She's wearing tight-fitting jeans now, and a soft blue cashmere sweater. Her hair is loose around her shoulders, makeup light and mouth smiling.
Rachel can't help but stare.
"Sorry about that," Quinn says, stepping up to where Rachel is still studying the various book titles. "I didn't even say hello properly."
Rachel doesn't know what that means until Quinn is in her space, hand gentle on her elbow as she presses a soft kiss to her cheek.
"Hello," Quinn says, smiling as she pulls back. "It really is lovely to meet you. Kurt has told me quite a bit about you."
Rachel is a little dazed, but she still manages to groan good-naturedly. "Was it bad? What did he tell you?"
Quinn grins at her. "I shan't ever tell," she says, and Rachel is so stupidly charmed. "But nothing bad," she assures her. "Nice things, actually. I was starting to think you couldn't be real."
"The night is young, dear Quinn," Rachel says, getting ahold of herself before she does more to embarrass herself. Quinn must be able to tell the change in attire has produced a reaction from her.
Quinn smiles again, something soft, and then says, "Come on, you must be starving."
Rachel is rather hungry, given the single cup of tea she had in the late afternoon. "It smells good," she comments, once again following Quinn into the kitchen. This time, her gaze remains on Quinn, taking in every part of her body on display.
It's still new to her; this entire dating in your late twenties thing. Kurt was right when he complained she hasn't put herself out there enough, but she was burned quite severely by her divorce, and she doesn't want that to happen again.
Not that she's anticipating marrying Quinn. It's just - Rachel has also switched off her desire, but it's very much turned all the way up right now. She'd have to be crazy not to be even a little bit attracted to this woman.
"I figured pasta was a good first-date food," Quinn says, checking her pot and giving it a stir to make sure none of the fusilli is sticking. "I hope you don't mind a one-pot-wonder. Kurt told me you were a vegetarian, so I've gone with sun-dried tomatoes and capers. Is that all right?"
"I can't wait," Rachel tells her, and it's the truth. Normally, she doesn't quite indulge in too many carbohydrates, but she's a sucker for a good pasta dish, and Quinn looks like she knows her way around a kitchen.
Quinn pours a glass of wine for herself while Rachel leans against the kitchen island. "I'm sorry I wasn't quite ready for you," she says, and it feels as if she's talking about something else. "I know I shouldn't talk about Beth too much, but I'm using her as an excuse once more. She had a - we had - "
"You don't have to explain," Rachel assures her. "And you can tell me about her, if you want to."
Quinn glances at her. "You don't have to say that," she says. "I'm going to guess Kurt didn't mention to you I was a mother."
Rachel won't lie to her. "No, he didn't," she says. "I've never dated a parent before. My best friend's worried I'm not ready for it."
Quinn hums. "I don't really expect anything from you when it comes to her," she says, and then winces, as if she's replaying the words. "I don't know if that sounds horrible, but I've been going at it alone for so long; I probably wouldn't know how to delegate."
"Have you dated much since she was born?" Rachel asks, watching Quinn reach into a cabinet to retrieve some plates. Rachel immediately moves to take them from her, keen to help in any way she can.
Quinn smiles at her, eyes soft. "Not really," she confesses. "The first year was the hardest. I barely had time for proper grooming, let alone dating, but she's five, now. It's definitely a lot better now she's in school and I can actually communicate with her and have her understand when I tell her not to put something in her mouth."
Rachel has many questions, but she doesn't want to be accused of prying. Quinn will tell her whatever she feels comfortable telling her. This is probably new territory for them both.
"There was a significant relationship that ended last year," Quinn tells her, voice a little quiet. "We just didn't work out."
There's more to it, Rachel can hear, but she's aware this is a first date, so there are topics they can't really get into quite yet. Instead, she searches for table mats, and sets a space for them at the breakfast nook.
"Dating is hard," Quinn concludes. "As is meeting people."
Rachel nods in understanding. "It makes me understand online dating a lot better," she says. "It's just not the same, going out to a club or something. Not at this age."
"Wow," Quinn says, smiling. "We're not that old."
"I feel it."
"Are you about to tell me nine o'clock is bedtime?"
Rachel laughs. "I'm usually on stage at that time, so no," she says. "But I can barely keep my eyes open past eleven on a good night."
Quinn switches off the burner once she deems their food ready, and uses a dish towel to hold the handles of the pot as she moves it over to the breakfast nook. "Kurt mentioned you're a performer," she says, opening a drawer to get some cutlery.
"I am," Rachel confirms. "Currently starring in Wicked."
Quinn's grin is wide. "Seriously?"
Rachel laughs. "Seriously."
"Glinda or Elphaba?"
"What if I were neither?"
Quinn cocks her head to the side. "Madame Morrible?" she asks with wide eyes and an even bigger grin.
Rachel's surprised. "You read the book?"
Quinn just shrugs. "To be fair, you did mention that you were starring in it, so I must be close, right?"
"Word choice is important," Rachel concedes. "And, yeah, I play Elphaba."
"I'll definitely have to check it out one of these days," Quinn says, almost too easily, and Rachel feels a thrill at the idea that Quinn would do that. For her.
"Have you ever seen a Broadway show?" Rachel asks.
"Once, when I was little," Quinn tells her, moving towards the fridge to remove a green salad she must have made earlier. "I went with my parents and sister. I think we watched something to do with Peter Pan. I don't remember much; I was probably five or six at the time."
"That is a tragedy, Quinn."
Quinn meets her gaze briefly, and her pupils are darker than Rachel's seen. "You'll have to educate me, then," she says, and her voice is lower.
Rachel blinks, and then reaches for her wine to battle her suddenly dry mouth. God, she wants in a way she hasn't in so long. How long has it been, really? Since Jesse. Since that string of ill-advised one-night-stands after the divorce was finalised.
Just, since.
Quinn finally deems their dinner ready for consumption, moving closer. "Need a refill?" she asks, gesturing to Rachel's glass.
"Please."
Quinn obliges, and then takes her seat beside Rachel. Their knees touch, only briefly, and Rachel feels warm, all of a sudden. Kurt is going to be such a smug bastard if this works out for them.
And, surprisingly, Rachel wants it to.
"May I serve you, or would you like to do it yourself?" Quinn asks, and there's something of a slight drawl to her tone that makes Rachel look at her. She's presenting Rachel the handle of the spoon, eyes kind, and Rachel could probably get lost in the hazel.
"I - yeah, I can handle it," she says, taking the handle and receiving another smile. She dishes a spoon and a half. Regardless of how it tastes, she's not leaving this place until she's consumed it all.
It really, really helps that it tastes so damn good. She lets out an involuntary moan at the taste, and Quinn's hand freezes where she's grabbed for a set of tongs to dish some salad.
"It's really good," Rachel says, flushed from embarrassment. "Sorry."
"No, yeah, that's - I'm glad it tastes, um, good."
"It's delicious."
Quinn regards her for a moment, and then says, "Salad?" It's obviously not what she actually wants to say, but Rachel doesn't push. Just nods, and watches as Quinn places a bundle of salad on the side of her plate, and then sets a bottle of dressing beside her wine glass.
Rachel doesn't actually want any dressing, so she makes no move to take it, still a little flushed from her embarrassing sound. Instead, her eyes track Quinn's movement as she finishes dishing for herself and lifts her fork, poised to eat. Her eyes close for a moment, lips moving in silence, and Rachel looks away when she realises Quinn is saying a prayer.
Rachel isn't really sure what to do with that information. She's not particularly religious, herself, but she believes in something. Kurt is a proud atheist, and Blaine comes from a religious family, though he doesn't practice.
"Everything okay?" Quinn asks when she notices Rachel isn't focused on her.
Rachel snaps to attention and offers Quinn a reassuring smile. "More than," she confirms. "I've never actually done this before."
"Done what?"
"Had a blind date in someone's apartment after they've cooked," she says. "It's - I wasn't sure what to expect."
"And?" Quinn asks. "Is it better or worse?"
"The night is still young, dear Quinn," she almost sings, an echo of her earlier words, and Quinn's eyes do that thing again. Get darker and purposeful, and Rachel is starting to gather Quinn likes the sound of her name from Rachel's lips. "But, yes, I'm having a great time."
"We haven't even done anything."
"Ooh, are there activities?" she asks, bouncing a little.
Quinn's smile is a little sly. "Well, that depends on how well the rest of the evening goes," she says, voice dropping low, and Rachel blinks stupidly.
Wow.
Okay.
Quinn laughs softly. "You're not from New York, are you?" she questions, before putting a forkful of pasta in her mouth.
"Nope," Rachel answers. "Kurt and I are both from Lima, Ohio. We went to high school together, came to college in New York together, and just haven't gone back."
"Would you ever?"
"I don't think so," she admits. "Maybe. When I'm old and grey and want to retire somewhere not so fast-paced. I visit quite a bit though, because my parents are still there."
"I should probably tell you I'm kind of also from Ohio," Quinn tells her.
"Only 'kind of?'" she asks with a small grin.
Quinn stills, and Rachel's smile fades. "My - um, my family is still there," she says, shaking herself. "My parents and sister, and her family. I just - I haven't seen them in a while."
Rachel senses there's a lot more to this story.
Quinn clenches her jaw for a moment. "They didn't really react well to finding their good Christian daughter kissing her very female best friend in her bedroom," is what she says, and it clicks.
That just makes Rachel feel incredibly sad. "I'm sorry," she says.
Quinn shrugs. "It's been years," she says, as if time and distance have eased those wounds. "Beth is kind of the only family I have, which is both beautiful and horrible. I - I never want to put that kind of pressure on her. It wouldn't be fair."
Rachel opens her mouth to make some kind of assurance, but they don't know each other nearly well enough for any kind of declaration from her to be believed. So, instead, she just places her hand over Quinn's and squeezes gently.
Quinn offers her a grateful smile, and then clears her throat. "Anyway," she says, shifting topics rather blatantly; "enough about my depressing past; tell me about yours."
Rachel laughs somewhat unexpectedly, and Quinn looks immensely pleased with herself. "Well," she starts; "I assume Kurt mentioned I'm divorced?"
Quinn nods around a mouthful of pasta. "Has it been long?"
"Almost two years now," she says. "I've been rather focused on my career since then, if I'm honest. I had a hard look at myself during the separation, and I realised I spent such little time actually single, you know? I could barely recognise myself without a partner, so I've spent quite some time discovering who that is."
Quinn smiles at her. "And? How's that been going?"
"I think this is the first time in my life I'm actually content with my own company," she confesses quietly. "Which, of course, is exactly the time Kurt decides I need to start dating again."
Quinn's gaze is a little knowing. "It's not going so horribly, is it?"
"Meh," she shrugs. "It's going all right."
Quinn laughs, loud and glorious. Her head even tips back, and Rachel is fascinated by the length of her gorgeous neck. "I've got some work to do, huh?"
"Nah," Rachel tells her. "You're doing pretty great."
Quinn's smile is probably the most beautiful thing Rachel has ever seen, and she has to force herself not to reveal that piece of information so early in their... whatever this is.
They eat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, and Rachel is surprised by the fact she doesn't feel the need to keep making conversation. It's such a foreign feeling, and she's not sure what to do with it.
She clears her throat. "So, um, what exactly do you do at Vogue?" she asks.
"Kurt didn't tell you?"
Rachel shakes her head. "Guess he figured he'd leave some mystery."
Quinn winks at her, and then says, "I'm a Lifestyle writer." She licks her lips. "I used to be a travel writer. Before I had Beth. But, after, I requested something that would keep me local, so I explore a lot of New York's hidden gems and then write about them."
"What places have you visited?" Rachel asks; "and do you have a favourite?"
Quinn's eyes widen in slight panic. "That's like asking me to pick my favourite child."
Rachel is about to point out Quinn has only the one child when she notices the grin on Quinn's face.
"And, I reckon my favourite place has to be Istanbul."
Rachel waits, allowing Quinn to elaborate if she so wishes.
She does. "I took a trip to Greece, Italy and Turkey some years ago," she explains. "I had a small idea what to expect, but it was so much more than I thought it would be, in a way. Like, I learned that I adore old Italian men; they're just so adorable. And I went to this Greek beach that has pebbles instead of sand, and Istanbul was - it was perfect. Just, something about it. It felt... otherworldly, and I've always wanted to go back, but I'm not sure I will."
"Why not?"
"I'm caught between wanting to recapture that feeling, and worrying that I'll get there and the magic will be gone." She shrugs. "You know what they say about curiosity."
Rachel hums, because she does know, yes. "I reckon you should go back, anyway," she says. "Maybe I'll even go with you." She immediately cringes, the words replaying in her head. Why would she say that? Oh my god.
But Quinn just smiles, looking amused. "Less than an hour into the date, and you're already planning our vacation, hmm?"
Rachel groans, burying her face in her hands. "Please don't tell Kurt about that," she begs. "He'll never let me live it down."
"You don't have to worry about Kurt," Quinn assures her. "I'm never going to let you live it down."
Rachel laughs softly. "Figured as much," she says. "I think I'm going to have my hands full with you."
Quinn looks at her for a long moment, her mouth tilting into a salacious smirk. "Well," she hums, glancing down at her own chest; "that is the plan."
Rachel chokes on the food she's just put into her mouth, and Quinn laughs gloriously. Then she reaches over and gently rubs Rachel's back in a circle. "Why would you say that when you can see I'm eating?" she accuses as she reaches for her wine to help the food go down.
"I didn't expect you to react like that," Quinn says, a little too innocently. "Is the thought of your hands on my body that shocking?"
This time, Rachel chokes on her wine, and Quinn laughs that bit harder while handing her a napkin. "Stop it," Rachel says with a glare, but Quinn looks so lovely when she laughs, so Rachel isn't too mad. "You're kind of forward," she comments lightly.
Quinn shrugs, unapologetic. "I'm a workaholic mother of a five-year-old," she says. "You've stuck around this long, which means you don't find me off-putting."
"Who would?"
Quinn glances at her. "Workaholic mother," she repeats. "People usually go running at the sound of that."
"Well, they're idiots."
"Some would say you're the idiot for sticking around," Quinn comments.
"I'm really here for the food," she says with a grin, and Quinn looks unexpectedly pleased. "It's not every day a blind date cooks for me."
"I was really just cooking for myself," she says; "you just happened to be here."
"Hmm, that's why you made it vegetarian," Rachel points out.
"You caught me," Quinn says, grin in full bloom, and it's blinding.
"What? Beth doesn't enjoy capers and sun-dried tomatoes?"
Quinn rolls her eyes. "If she had her way, we'd eat chicken nuggets for every meal."
"Ah, the chicken nugget phase," Rachel says, nodding knowingly.
Quinn's eyebrows rise. "You have experience?"
"My friends Tina and Mike have two boys," she explains. "The older one, MJ, is obsessed with fish sticks and ketchup at the moment. I swear, every meal ends in a tantrum if you put anything else in front of him."
"Why do they do that?" Quinn asks, mostly to herself. "Life is about variety."
"Is it?" Rachel questions; "because I could eat the same things and watch the same movies for the rest of my life, you know?"
"And kiss the same girls?" Quinn says, one eyebrow arching.
"If she's the right one," Rachel confirms, making sure Quinn knows exactly what she means. It's an odd thing, being this open to something new like this. Rachel is cautious by nature, but she's suddenly certain she's going to be kissing this woman by the end of this evening.
They continue to eat, talking more about the places they've travelled. She's not nearly as much of a voyager as Quinn, but she's been a handful of places Quinn hasn't, which makes for some interesting conversation.
It's while they're cleaning up after dinner that they hear a tiny voice call out, "Mommy," and they both freeze.
Quinn looks panicked, as if it's some kind of dealbreaker, but she still excuses herself to check on Beth. Rachel wishes she weren't so worried Rachel would leave, and she curses whoever came before her that made Quinn feel it was wrong to put Beth first.
While Quinn is gone, Rachel finishes up cleaning the kitchen, and then tops up both their wine glasses. If Quinn thinks she's going to bolt at this point, Rachel is determined to show her that's not the case at all.
It takes nine minutes for Quinn to return, her steps hesitant as she approaches Rachel where she's just wiped down the countertops. Quinn looks at her, at the wine glasses, and then at her again.
"Everything okay?" Rachel asks.
"Hmm?"
"With Beth?"
Quinn still looks a little caught off guard. "A bit of a nightmare," she explains. "I think she must have watched something somewhere, because she's been worryingly afraid of spiders for the past few days."
Rachel shudders. "I hate those things."
"I'll be sure to tell them."
"It's really the only thing on which I agree with Ron Weasley," Rachel reveals, and Quinn gets that unexpectedly pleased look on her face again that Rachel wishes she could get a snapshot of. It's not the first time she's seen it, and she makes a mental note to keep saying things to coax the expression out of her.
Quinn steps further into the kitchen, feet carrying her towards Rachel. "You're still here."
"I wouldn't leave."
"I'm starting to get that." Her eyes take in the features of Rachel's face. "I see you topped up my wine. Are you trying to get me drunk?"
"Is two glasses of wine all it takes?"
Quinn rolls her eyes. "My tolerance has decreased two-fold since giving birth, but it's not that bad."
"Would wine even work?"
"Vodka's my kryptonite."
"Your Super reference is very sexy," Rachel says, and Quinn's grin can be described only as saucy. "Actually, everything about you kind of is."
"Only kind of?"
Rachel takes a step towards Quinn, her heart rate rising at their proximity. "Well, you did answer the door in your sweats," she points out.
"Those were my sexy sweats."
"Well, if anyone could pull that off, it'd have to be you," Rachel says, and her head tilts up to meet Quinn's gaze. They're going to kiss. Rachel can feel it. She's never wanted something as much as she does in this moment, and she's about to close the gap between them when they hear Beth start crying.
Quinn jolts a little, and then closes her eyes. "Sorry," Quinn murmurs, opening her eyes and imploring Rachel to understand.
Rachel gently touches her cheek and tells her, "Don't be sorry. It's okay. You should go."
Quinn hums softly, presses a quick peck against Rachel's cheek, and then she disappears once more. Rachel watches her go and wonders what kind of Quinn is going to return to her. She wonders if their evening will recover.
She also wonders if this is what Tina thought she wouldn't be ready for. Sharing Quinn, but not quite sharing her, because Beth would always come first, and Rachel hasn't been in any kind of relationship that isn't quite all-in until it just isn't.
With a sigh, she retrieves both glasses of wine and moves into the living space. She finds coasters before setting the glasses on the low table, and then settles onto the couch. She sits perfectly still for a moment before she reaches to her left for the top book on one of the piles, smiling at the title of Peter Rabbit.
This time, though, it takes Quinn thirteen minutes to return, and Rachel has managed to get caught in the unfolding lives of Peter Rabbit and all his little friends. It's weirdly captivating, and she wishes she were a child all over again, just to experience it at an age where it still feels like magic.
Quinn moves slowly as she comes to join her on the couch, her body curled into itself. "I had all these thoughts about this evening," she admits quietly. "Out at a restaurant, meeting a beautiful woman and having some normal, child-free conversation. God, it sounded like a dream, and I just managed to keep my guilt at bay. Sometimes, Mama just needs a break, you know?"
Rachel definitely gets that. She's seen Tina go through it, and that end-of-her-threshold usually results in a spa day for the two of them. She'll happily take Quinn to a spa, if she wants. She'll take her as soon as possible.
"This evening hasn't exactly gone the way I thought," Quinn admits. "Both better and worse, in some ways." She turns her head to be able to look at Rachel properly. "No restaurant, I'm afraid, but you truly are a beautiful woman."
Rachel blushes, which is just crazy.
"Unfortunately, we haven't been able to have some normal, child-free conversation," Quinn adds a moment later. "I just wanted... one night, you know?"
Rachel reaches for her arm, gently prying it from where it's holding onto her body. Her fingers trail over Quinn's skin, down her forearm until she's able to hold Quinn's hand. "Contrary to what you must be thinking, I don't believe tonight was a disaster."
Quinn shakes her head, sighing. "You're saying that only because you're too polite."
"Oh, no," Rachel says. "I've lived in New York long enough to have learned to say exactly what I'm thinking."
"Sounds dangerous."
"It's why I'm divorced," she returns with a grin. "But, I mean it, Quinn; I think tonight has been great."
Quinn studies her face closely, searching for a hint of untruth. "I'm sorry it wasn't what you were expecting, either way," she says. "It's been disrupted twice, and I wasn't even ready for you when you arrived."
"It's okay," Rachel tells her. "It's all part of your charm."
"If you think this was charm, you've got another thing coming," Quinn comments, and Rachel leans in a little.
"Oh?" she says. "You can be more charming than this?"
"I'm not even trying."
"So, I should expect to be blown away the next time we see each other?"
Quinn eyes gleam with mischief when she says, "You should definitely expect to be blown," and Rachel is suddenly glad she's not currently eating or drinking anything. It would have ended up all over Quinn and her couch.
She's barely recovered when she says, "You enjoy doing that far too much."
"I suspect I would," Quinn says, far too easily, and Rachel feels as if she's beet red. Quinn laughs. "Wow, please don't tell me I've already broken you." A smirk. "I haven't even touched you yet."
"Good God."
"I don't think He'd be able to help you."
Rachel sits back, suddenly warm. "You talk a good game, Quinn," she says, reaching for her wine. Her throat is worryingly dry. "But that's all it is: talk."
Quinn eyes her closely, body slowly relaxing with the easy banter. There's that lingering heat in her eyes again, which Rachel knows flares whenever she says Quinn's name. It's kind of like a superpower.
This moment feels a bit like a crossroads, where they can let the heat continue to simmer, or let it ignite. The former is safer and would ultimately be more satisfying, but the latter sounds so good.
Only.
It's their first date, and Quinn's child is literally in the other room.
So they let it simmer.
Quinn is a relentless flirt, and she barely even touches Rachel. She's light and smiley, and her cheeks flush from the wine. She's beautiful and perfect, and Rachel is so glad she didn't fight Kurt on this as much as she definitely could have. It would be so disappointing not to get to experience this.
When it starts getting really late, Rachel knows she should probably leave, even though it's the last thing she wants to do. It feels good and comfortable to be here with Quinn; to luxuriate in her focus and presence. She truly is a wonderful conversationalist, and Rachel spends far too long trying to figure out how to ask for a second date.
She's come up with nothing by the time Quinn is walking her to the door, unsuccessfully getting her to leave with leftovers. Rachel jokes about stealing the meal Quinn supposedly made for Beth, but she really just wants her hands to be free for when they get to the door.
It's when she shoves those same hands into the coat she's just put on that she remembers the little stuffed kangaroo she purchased for Beth, and she doesn't feel as weird about revealing it now.
Quinn gets that unexpectedly pleased look on her face again when Rachel hands it to her, both of them blushing at the little exchange. "Thank you," Quinn says. "She's going to love it."
Rachel watches Quinn set the little kangaroo on the coffee table very carefully, and she can't help thinking she's passed a test neither of them even knew Quinn was setting.
Quinn moves to stand in the now-open doorway, leaning against the doorframe. She looks gorgeous just standing there, hands tucked behind her back. "I'm glad we could do this," she says softly. "I'm sorry it wasn't what we originally had planned."
"I reckon it was better," Rachel says, unafraid to say the words as she approaches her.
"You're sure about that?" Quinn asks. "We haven't even tried for a restaurant yet."
Rachel tilts her head to the side, taking the opportunity that's been presented. "When are you next free?"
Quinn puffs out a breath, smiling. "Thought you came for the food," she says.
"Well, now I intend to come for you," she says, and enjoys the widening of Quinn's eyes. She laughs. "See? I can do it, too."
"At least I'm not eating anything," Quinn points out.
"Yet."
Quinn looks suitably impressed. "You can do it," she agrees. "What else can you do?"
Rachel doesn't think she's being brave when she says, "Kiss you."
Quinn drops her gaze to Rachel's lips for a beat. "Is that so?"
"I'd wager we'd be good at it," Rachel tells her.
"Prove it."
Rachel doesn't waste a second before surging forward and pressing her lips to Quinn's, her right hand coming up to cup Quinn's cheek. It's easy to sink into the kiss, feeling herself smile at the same time Quinn does.
When they break apart, it takes a moment for Quinn to open her eyes.
"Well?" Rachel asks. "Good?"
Quinn blinks. "I don't know," she says, just a little coy. "You'll have to show me again."
So, Rachel does.
It's late when Rachel gets home, smiling stupidly and her lips still tingling. Her fingers twitch at her sides, wanting to reach out for Quinn again. Gosh. Kurt is going to be such a smug bastard when she tells him they're already planning on seeing each other again.
As soon as possible, preferably.
With a dreamy sigh, she pulls out her phone and texts Quinn, as requested before her departure.
I made it home. Thank you for a lovely evening. I can't wait to do it again 😚
Quinn replies barely a minute later, and Rachel's heart stutters in her chest at the thought she was waiting up for Rachel's text. That's good to hear, and I'm glad it didn't turn into a disaster. You'll have to be more specific about what you'd want to do again 😏
Rachel's cheeks heat up, even alone in her living room. All of it, she texts back. But maybe we can go to a restaurant for our next date? I want to wine and dine you.
And then what?
Wine and dine OFF you.
There's a little lag in response, and Rachel panics for forty seconds before her phone buzzes. I can be free Friday night.
Rachel grins. It's a date.
Kurt is as insufferable as Rachel anticipated, but Rachel doesn't mind all that much. Quinn is the one who actually has to work with him, so she only has to endure his teasing through the phone.
Which really pales in comparison to Quinn's teasing. She's really an expert wordsmith, playing with Rachel without actually following through and, as a result, Rachel's days are spent on the edge of something.
If her Friday night is going to play out the way Quinn texts; she's definitely in for it. She's never anticipated a date this way in so long. If ever. She's never wanted to spend time in someone's company this way in years.
What surprises Rachel the most is that Quinn doesn't mention Beth unless Rachel asks about her, and it doesn't take long to figure out Quinn must have conditioned herself not to bring up her daughter in potential relationships.
As a result, Rachel makes sure to ask about her as often as she can without it being too obvious.
She should know she's unsuccessful when Quinn asks her, "Are you really interested in Beth, or do you feel obligated to ask about her?" when they talk over the phone on Wednesday evening.
Rachel hesitates, wanting to be as truthful as possible. "Both," she admits. "Mostly the former, though. I - I like the way your voice sounds when you talk about her. And the way your face lights up, just moments before you catch yourself and temper it."
"You want to hear me talk about my kid?"
"I do."
"You really are a rainbow unicorn, aren't you?"
"You have to get me undressed to know for sure," Rachel quips, and delights in the sound of Quinn's laughter. It's all she thinks about during the long, waking hours until Friday evening.
Though, if Rachel had to be slightly cynical, she would have to admit that she's worried she's going to receive another text from Quinn saying that there's another change of plans.
It doesn't happen.
Quinn insists on meeting at the restaurant when Rachel offers to pick her up, stating her babysitter is too nosy for her own good. Rachel almost knows what to expect, but she's wrong. Oh so wrong.
She's seen Quinn in two states of dress already, but it catches her wildly off guard when she arrives at the restaurant and finds Quinn all dolled up. And that's even before Quinn takes off her coat.
Quinn kisses her cheek while they're standing in front of the restaurant, and she smells like cinnamon when Rachel breathes in. "Hello, you," Quinn murmurs, and Rachel is left to wonder what psychopath could have had this woman and let her go.
There's just a casual sexiness to her; an easy sensuality that makes Rachel want her in every way. And it definitely doesn't help that Quinn is determined to torture her with innuendo.
Rachel almost trips over herself when Quinn reveals the dress she's wearing, dark and dangerous, and Rachel imagines peeling it off her. Putting her mouth on everything it reveals.
Ordinarily, Rachel would be on stage at the moment, but her director has been offering her understudy an evening show once every fortnight. At first, Rachel was annoyed by it - she's been doing the show for nearly two years now - but she appreciates the opportunity for a night off other than their regularly scheduled Dark Day of Monday.
It also allows her to meet Quinn earlier than she usually would, which is helpful when they both know Quinn will have to get home at some point to relieve her babysitter.
Rachel asks her about work and Beth and her plans for the rest of the weekend. Quinn asks about the books she's currently reading and the two of them verbally plan a joint trip through Europe as if this isn't their second date.
It's during dessert - tiramisu for Quinn and a raspberry sorbet for Rachel - that Quinn gets a call from her babysitter, and Rachel watches as Quinn's initial panic turns to concern, understanding, a little relief, and then something like guilt when she says, "Okay, I should be home soon."
Rachel immediately signals for the check, doing her level-best not to show her disappointment. She hoped for at least another hour with Quinn, but the Universe has other plans.
When Quinn hangs up, it takes a while for her to be able to look at Rachel. "She woke up after another nightmare," she says. "Nadia can't get her back to sleep." She sighs. "I'm sorry, Rachel. We've been dealing with this spider thing all week, and I thought - " she stops. "I thought I could get one night."
Rachel manages a smile, swallowing her disappointment and projecting understanding. Because she does. Of course she understands.
"It's okay, Quinn," Rachel says. "We - I think we did quite well, don't you? And of course you need to get home to Beth. She's your priority."
Quinn gives her a look, a little disbelieving. "You understand now," she says; "but I know there will be a day when you don't." She shakes her head. "It always happens."
Rachel knows it's not entirely to do with her, but more to do with Quinn's previous experiences in relationships, so she doesn't feel as insulted as she probably should.
"Well," Rachel says; "I can't speak for my future self, but I'm leaning more towards the option where I actually get to go home with you and put Beth to bed together, instead of your having to leave without me."
Quinn's expression shifts into something Rachel can't quite read, but she doesn't get the chance to ask because their server returns, and Quinn doesn't fight it when Rachel insists on paying. She's actually worryingly quiet as they leave, and Rachel worries she's said something wildly wrong until they're on the street and Quinn tugs her to her body and kisses the air right out of her lungs.
"I had such plans for you," Quinn eventually says against her lips, both of them a little breathless when they break apart. "Too bad we're going to have to put them off."
Now, Rachel does show her disappointment, mouth pulling into a pout that makes Quinn chuckle.
"Take me home?" Quinn asks, and those words would have meant something else on another night.
Still, Rachel accompanies Quinn home, smiling like an idiot when Quinn's hand reaches for her own. Their fingers slide together, and Rachel gets the impossible feeling her hand was meant to fit with Quinn's.
Okay. Wow. She's such a sap.
Quinn kisses her one last time in front of her building, and Rachel understands not letting her walk her right to her apartment door. "Text me when you get home," Quinn tells her, getting impossibly closer to her. "And then keep texting me, when you're getting into your pyjamas, and when you're getting into your bed." Her voice drops in register with every word and, dear God, Rachel wants her.
"You assume I actually wear pyjamas," Rachel says, and delights in the slight widening of Quinn's eyes.
Quinn just kisses her again, gently enough that it feels as if it's an everyday action. Then she gently pushes Rachel away. "You should go," she says. "Tell me to go upstairs."
"I should go," Rachel confirms. "You have to go upstairs."
Quinn kisses her cheek in farewell, and then does exactly that.
Rachel has brunch with Tina on Sunday, and she wants to know everything. "I have a son who talks about yoghurt like it's the second coming," Tina says; "tell me something good."
Rachel has been known to gush in the past, but she's tempered with age. She's not as excitable in relationships as she once was, but Quinn makes her feel giddy. Makes her feel young.
That's what she tells Tina, who indulges her for a while, and then asks if she's met Quinn's daughter.
"No." Rachel shifts in her seat. "We've known each other only a week, Tina."
"And both your dates have been affected because of her."
"So?"
"I just don't want you to get invested in something without looking at the big picture, Rachel," she says, playing Devil's Advocate. "Quinn's priority is always going to be her daughter."
"I know," Rachel says, and she's suddenly tense. She doesn't need Tina's constant reminder. She gets it. She understands it. She's sure she'll be able to recognise if ever she starts to resent such a thing.
Which she's hoping never actually happens.
Quinn invites her over for dinner on Monday night again, and Rachel arrives with wine after Beth has been put to bed. Quinn spends the first five minutes kissing her against the door, and then the second five minutes kissing her against the kitchen counter when she remembers she has a pot on the stove.
If Rachel isn't careful, she might actually be falling in love.
The third set of five minutes is spent asking Rachel how her day has been while she plates up the chickpea curry she's made, her attention split between the woman in her kitchen and their food.
"It smells so good," Rachel tells her, because it really does. "But, God, you taste so much better."
Quinn tosses her a look over her shoulder. "Did you seriously just say that?"
Rachel smiles at her? "Oh, I'm sorry, was that too lame for you?"
"You're going to have to do better than that," Quinn tells her. "Or is it that it's been so long since you've had to do it in person that you've forgotten how?"
Rachel raises her eyebrows. "Quinn," she says, and delights in the way Quinn goes still at the sound of her voice. "I can assure you I haven't forgotten how to do anything."
Quinn breathes slowly. "I'll believe it when I see it," she says, and if that isn't invitation enough; Rachel isn't sure what is. She's pretty certain today won't be the actual night for whatever they're both envisioning, but Rachel suddenly just knows they're going to be spending more time not talking tonight than ever.
Rachel hums a little knowingly. "When you feel it, you mean."
Quinn just laughs. "Grab our wine," she says; "I thought we could sit in the living room. The couch is more comfortable."
"For what?"
"Eating dinner," she says, and then smiles with all the innocence in the world. "And eating other things, I suppose."
Rachel almost trips over her own feet, which gets another laugh out of Quinn, and she decides she'll constantly make a fool out of herself if it means Quinn will laugh like that.
The couch is more comfortable, though, and Quinn sits close enough to her that she can feel the heat of her body. Their knees even bump from time to time, and Rachel cherishes every second of it. Luxuriates in Quinn's undivided attention.
Quinn tells her about a restaurant she tried during the week where the chef takes one look at you and then decides your meal for you. "It was kind of spectacular, actually," she says. "I didn't even know I was wishing for the vegetable soup he brought out until I just did."
Rachel listens to her talk, eyes trained on her mouth. She says things in response sometimes, but she'd really much rather spend her time hearing whatever Quinn has to say.
Even if whatever she says is meant to get a specific reaction out of Rachel.
The thing is the couch is really comfortable, and Rachel realises just how much when she ends up with Quinn Fabray straddling her lap, all her senses surrounded by this amazing, glorious woman. It's almost an assault; Quinn, just everywhere.
Rachel's hands aren't idle, determined to touch all the skin Quinn will allow her. She's soft under Rachel's fingers, warm and pliant, and Rachel has never liked the taste of spice as much as she does on Quinn's tongue.
They make out for entirely too long, especially considering Quinn has to get up early with a five-year-old, but Rachel definitely isn't complaining. They do stop, eventually, and Rachel is breathless as she just holds Quinn in her lap, not willing to let her go.
She never wants to let her go.
Quinn rests her forehead against Rachel's, content to remain in this position for as long as possible. "What are you doing on Thursday?" Quinn asks, voice low. "For lunch?"
"I don't have any plans," Rachel tells her.
"Well, now you do."
All Rachel really knows is that Thursday is a long way from Monday, and those days pale in comparison to how it feels to be in Quinn's presence. She craves it and, as much as she wants to surprise Quinn with a visit at every opportunity, she knows she can't do that. Not when Quinn has a set schedule and a daughter.
If she can't send herself, then she can send other things, and she has a bouquet of flowers delivered to Quinn's office, which gets her a snapped selfie with the bouquet and the caption does this mean you're missing me too?
Rachel can count on her one hand the number of times she's felt this strongly for another human being and she agreed to marry two of them. One died before they could walk down the aisle for real, and the other one stopped loving her. It is a terrifying prospect to feel this much for a woman she's known less than a month.
Rachel isn't sure that's something she can bring up to Quinn until she's meeting her at a hole-in-the-wall restaurant in SoHo on Thursday afternoon, where they make everything in-house and vegan. Quinn's smile is wide and free when she spots her, and Rachel gets a gentle kiss to her cheek before Quinn is leading the way inside.
"I'm not a food critic," Quinn tells her as they're seated and given menus. "The magazine already has that. I'm more of an experience critic, I suppose. Like, how would it be for the average person with the average palate and budget, just wanting to try something new, to come here and experience it."
"And I'm here because…"
"I wanted to see you."
Rachel smiles behind her menu, reading all the dishes they have on offer. It's moot, anyway, because Quinn asks the server for their two bestselling appetisers, entrees and eventually desserts, and the two of them swap meals halfway through each one.
Quinn marvels over how it could possibly be that everything she's eating is vegan, and the two of them even manage to get an invitation into the kitchen to see some of the magic after they've finished their meal.
Rachel hovers and watches as Quinn quietly interviews the head chef and owner of the restaurant, and the young man looks predictably enamoured with her. Not that Rachel blames him, of course, because she's been under Quinn's spell from the moment the woman first opened her door.
Quinn makes a few notes on her phone, and thanks him for the entire experience. It's all very professional until he stammers through asking her to come back and try some of their other dishes.
Quinn glances at Rachel for a beat, and then nods at him. "Oh, definitely," she says. "My girlfriend's actually the vegetarian between the two of us, so we'll definitely be back."
His eyes dart between them for a beat and, to his credit, his smile remains. "Of course," he says. "The offer still stands."
"Thank you," Quinn tells him, and then she's ushering Rachel out of the kitchen and out of the restaurant.
And, Rachel needs it, because she feels a little frozen after hearing Quinn refer to her as her girlfriend. They haven't really talked about their relationship in that sense and, while she's sure Quinn just said the word to make a point to the young man, they should probably discuss what it means for them.
Quinn just links their arms and starts walking down the street. Rachel imagines they're headed back to Quinn's office, because Rachel doesn't have to be at the theatre until much later. She'll spend as much time with Quinn as she's allowed.
Even forever.
She almost trips over the pavement, and Quinn's hold on her is all that keeps her steady.
"You okay?" Quinn asks, smiling through her concern. "Falling for me already, huh?"
Rachel bites her tongue, contemplating her next words, but decides to go for it. "Would it terrify you if I were to say yes?" she asks, and immediately regrets it when Quinn goes still. She actually stops walking, and Rachel curses herself for making this so weird. She just had to go and open her big mouth and ruin -
"Do you actually mean that?" Quinn asks, interrupting her thoughts.
Rachel audibly swallows. "I wouldn't have said it if I didn't," she says, because she's come this far, so she may as well keep going. If it ends up blowing up in her face, she'll endure Kurt's teasing and mope around for a while, but -
Quinn kisses her, catching her completely off guard. She lets out a gasp, and then Quinn's tongue is in her mouth and this kiss is definitely not appropriate for public viewing. Quinn must realise that because she breaks away before they get any more handsy.
"Come over tomorrow," Quinn says, and she sounds so deliciously breathless. "Beth is meant to be spending the night with her godmothers, and I - just, please come over." There is a desperation in her voice that Rachel definitely feels, veins already thrumming with how much she wants it to be tomorrow, already.
"Okay, yeah, after my show," she agrees, because, let's be serious, was she ever going to say no?
Friday goes much too fast and entirely too slow for Rachel's liking. She's on edge all day, waiting in anticipation for the kind of evening she's been dreaming of since she first laid eyes on Quinn.
Rachel knows their connection transcends something physical - which is a relief, of course - but she won't deny that she's curious to see just how far their obvious chemistry can extend.
She wants Quinn.
She wants her in a dangerous way.
And it just so happens that Quinn Fabray seems to want her, too. It's immediately evident when Quinn's apartment door opens before Rachel can even knock, and Quinn is tugging her across the threshold. She stumbles a little, bag dropping to the floor. She has half a mind to complain, but then Quinn's mouth is pressed against her own and all coherent thought flies from her mind.
The door closes behind her, Quinn tugs at her lapels, and Rachel allows herself to be dragged through the apartment to a bedroom she doesn't actually see until they've both come three times.
Quinn is spread out on her back as she tries to regain her breath, a sheet covering only one naked leg, and Rachel has to keep reminding herself this is her life. There's just so much to take in. Quinn's body, obviously, but also her bedroom. It's a mix of whites and greys and blues, neutral tones, and matches her kitchen quite beautifully.
Rachel allows herself to think that Quinn's body is also about to match, as well. Spots of blue bruising on her porcelain skin. Rachel's mouth has been busy.
The quiet is interrupted when Quinn's phone starts to ring and she lets out an irritated huff as she rolls onto her side and reaches for her jeans that are now on the floor. Rachel just watches the expanse of her back as she shifts, fascinated by the play of muscles beneath her skin.
The call is from one of Beth's godmothers, Santana, apparently, and Quinn spends the next few minutes talking Beth through the nightmare she's just had. Her expression is pinched as she sits up and curls around the sheet she draws up to her chest, and Rachel shouldn't find her this attractive.
When Quinn eventually hangs up, she tosses her phone back onto the floor and sighs. She smiles lazily as her head lolls a little to the right to look at Rachel. "Sorry about that," she says. "San promised not to call for anything, but Beth can actually hyperventilate if she cries too hard."
"It's better she called."
"You say that only because we were done," Quinn points out. "Something tells me you wouldn't feel the same way if my head had still been between your legs."
Rachel can't even stop the effect those words have on her; the image that springs to mind making her body thrum. "Baby," she murmurs, and Quinn looks at her through her lashes. "What makes you think we're done?"
Quinn lets out a laugh, running a hand through her loose hair and basically devastating Rachel with how good she looks in this moment - and always. "You're already ready to go again?"
"I think I should have started with the disclaimer that you're definitely going to get very little sleep tonight," Rachel informs her.
Quinn grins. "So, not too different to any other night, then. Just for a different reason."
"I don't even know how to respond to that."
Quinn leans over to kiss her, just once, before she settles against her side, tucking herself in nice and close. "Are you staying?" she asks, and there's just a hint of fear in her voice. She disguises it well, though.
Rachel turns her head to kiss her forehead. "As long as you want me," she assures them both.
Quinn opens her eyes, but she doesn't actually say anything. Just smiles, as if everything in this moment is exactly what she wants and she can't quite believe it's real.
Rachel curls a hand around her hip, turning her body a bit more to face her. "Hi."
"Hi," Quinn whispers back.
"You look happy," she accuses lightly.
"So do you."
Rachel presses a kiss to her cheek. "Funny that."
Funny, indeed.
Rachel looks happy, because she is.
She and Quinn fall into some kind of routine that somehow seems to work for them. The routine is predominantly Quinn's design, because she has Beth to consider and Rachel has a work schedule that isn't particularly child-friendly.
They see each other every Monday, without fail. Quinn either gets a babysitter, or Rachel goes over to her apartment straight after Beth has gone to sleep. They have dinner out every second Friday, which is also the night Beth sleeps over at her godmothers' house. They have lunches together during the week, usually meeting at some restaurant Quinn has been tasked to try.
Somehow, it works.
Until it doesn't.
Because they manage to get through an entire six weeks of their new, overwhelming relationship when things change. Not for the worse and not for the better, Rachel wouldn't say, but she's been rather quiet around her friends when it comes to Quinn because she can't quite admit to any of them that Quinn hasn't once mentioned a desire for her and Beth to meet.
Granted, there hasn't really been a true opportunity for it to happen, mainly because Quinn has a firm handle on her daughter's schedule and her nightmares, and Rachel doesn't want to push if Quinn isn't ready. But she also doesn't want Quinn to think Rachel is against taking all these steps in their relationship.
She's not going to run.
And then it happens. Six weeks is all it takes for Quinn's very careful scheduling of her life and relationships to come apart. It's nobody's fault, not really, and Rachel can only hope it remains a good thing.
It's just that Rachel is over at Quinn's apartment on a scheduled Monday evening and lounging on her couch while Quinn is in the shower when it happens. Rachel doesn't really know what to say or do, or even what to think when Beth comes stumbling into the living room, half-asleep and rubbing her eyes, and blindly crawls into Rachel's lap.
Rachel sits perfectly still, shocked to silence. Beth's eyes remain closed as she shifts until she's comfortable, curling her body into Rachel's and promptly falling back asleep.
It's -
Wow.
Okay.
Rachel doesn't move. Doesn't dare breathe too loudly. It's one thing to have a zombie-Beth mistaking her for her mother, but Rachel really doesn't want to have to explain herself to an awake-Beth without Quinn around. She has no idea what she would say to her.
She and Quinn really need to talk about it.
Maybe when Beth isn't asleep in her lap. Rachel isn't really panicking about it - as long as Beth remains asleep - and she can only hope Quinn doesn't hide from whatever step this is for them.
Well.
Quinn doesn't do much of anything when she emerges from her bedroom, towel-drying her hair and already thanking Rachel for waiting, when she sees Beth in Rachel's lap.
She freezes.
Something very particular happens to Quinn's face, shifting through various expressions. She doesn't speak, and Rachel reasons she can't figure out how her daughter could have ended up where she is right now.
"I can explain," Rachel whispers, and then frowns. "Actually, I can't." She sighs. "I was just sitting here, and then she came out of her room, half-asleep and probably confused, and then she just - " she stops, waving a helpless hand over her predicament. "Quinn, I didn't know what to do. I just - I just sat here, and now she's asleep. I'm sorry."
Quinn just stares at her for a long moment, and then she turns away. She tosses her towel onto an armchair, searches for her phone and snaps a picture of Beth asleep in Rachel's lap.
Then she very carefully scoops Beth into her arms and goes to return her to her bed. All while Rachel remains frozen in her seat and tries to make sense of all her feelings in this moment, and fails.
When Quinn returns, she's alone. There's this look on her face that makes Rachel wonder if she's supposed to leave right now. Obviously, she doesn't want to, but she also knows tonight was unexpected and Quinn has been so careful with Rachel and Beth.
"I'm sorry," Rachel says again. "I - we didn't even talk, Quinn, I swear. She just kind of… came out of nowhere. She must have thought I was you."
That gets the first sound of Quinn, and it's a bit of a snort. "She didn't," she says.
Rachel frowns. "She didn't what?"
"Think you were me," Quinn clarifies. "I can assure you, Rachel, that Beth knows me, even in sleep."
"Oh."
Quinn moves to sit beside her and takes hold of her hands. "She came out here looking for comfort and she found that with you," she says very seriously. "Which really says a lot about you."
Rachel blinks. "Oh."
Quinn looks concerned. "I know it's not something we've talked about, but you should know that I've mentioned you to her."
That's definitely news to Rachel. "Oh?"
Quinn nods. "She's old enough to understand that her mother is dating someone."
"Oh."
Quinn tilts her head slightly. "Is that all you're going to be saying?"
"I just - Quinn, you look mad," she points out.
"I'm not mad," Quinn assures her. "Just worried. I didn't want the first time you met to be like that."
"You've thought about it?"
Quinn frowns. "Of course I have," she says. "I think about it constantly."
"Oh."
Quinn's features soften. "I don't want to mess things up, Rachel, which is why I've been so careful," she says. "I'm being selfish with you, I know, but I just want you to stay."
Rachel leans in to kiss her, gentle and lingering. "I'm staying," she says, but she's not sure Quinn actually believes her.
Her friends end up staging some kind of intervention.
It's Tina's idea, Rachel knows right from the beginning, but Rachel feels more betrayed by Kurt - and on Quinn's behalf. He's the one who set them up; practically begged Rachel to meet Quinn. Quinn is supposed to be his friend.
And now they're all so worried because it seems to have worked out.
Which it has.
Rachel is happier than she's been for a long time - not that she can even remember - and now her friends are trying to take it away with all their unnecessary worry.
"You met her daughter by accident," Tina points out when all Rachel does is glare at them. "And then you haven't met her again."
Rachel folds her arms across her chest. "I didn't tell you all of that for you to throw it in my face," she says, a certain edge to her voice. "It's been only three weeks since then, and Quinn and Beth haven't even been in the city for half that time."
The two of them went on a Mommy-Daughter, all-expenses-paid trip to Disney World in Florida, and Quinn has spent the last three days writing about it. Sure, Rachel hasn't seen her in close to two weeks, but Quinn is very good at communicating with her, and Rachel hasn't felt out of the loop until Kurt very purposefully says, "They've been home for a week, Rachel."
Rachel doesn't react. The fact she's a Tony award winning actress is the only reason her face doesn't fall, even if her heart cracks in her chest. She just blinks. "A week?" she asks, because -
Quinn hasn't mentioned they're back at all. As far as Rachel is aware, the two of them are still in Florida, which is why this news is startling.
"I ran into her at the office when she was submitting her article," Kurt explains, "but she hasn't been seen since."
Rachel frowns, because that sounds -
She takes out her phone, pulling up her message thread with Quinn. Whenever Rachel asks about how they're enjoying Florida, Quinn is vague and always changes the subject. She didn't notice until now.
If Quinn is back in New York, why wouldn't she tell Rachel? If she's already submitted her article, why is she pretending still to be writing it?
"I'm sorry," Kurt says. "I'm the one who set you up with her, and - "
"Stop talking," Rachel snaps.
Tina says, "We're just trying to - "
"No." Rachel locks her phone and puts it in her bag. "From the beginning, you've expected this to fail. She has a child. So what? Said child is pretty amazing and, yeah, am I bummed that I haven't properly met her? Yes. But I also trust Quinn, because she and I are in a relationship, and you can't all honestly sit there and claim you've never lied about your whereabouts to your significant other. Huh? Can you?"
She gets to her feet, not bothering to wait for any response. "I know you want what's best for me, and I appreciate it, but Quinn is not Jesse, okay? I finally put myself out there again, and now - just leave it alone." She doesn't even give them a chance to reply, turning sharply and marching out of the restaurant.
She takes out her phone once she's on the street, considers calling Quinn, and then decides against it. Starts on her way to visit her instead. She's hoping Quinn isn't actually home. She's hoping Kurt has it all wrong; that Quinn wouldn't have returned to the city and not told her.
She manages to get into the building by virtue of the fact she's been here weekly for a few months now. Goes up to Quinn's floor, stands at her door for a full minute, and then knocks.
Quinn does not answer the door.
Instead, another blonde woman answers, frowning rather severely. "Can I help you?"
Rachel blinks, checking the number of the door again to be sure she didn't get it wrong. "Um." Oh, gosh, what if Quinn really just moved out of her apartment and never even told Rachel?
But then she hears Quinn's voice say, "Frannie, who is it?" A beat later, she's appearing behind the other woman - Frannie, apparently - and her mouth opens in surprise. "Rachel," she squeaks. "What are you doing here?" Her eyes are wide, even a little panicked, and Rachel suddenly realises coming here was a bad idea.
Who is Frannie?
"Kurt sent me," Rachel says. "He didn't have time to get his notes typed up for the article, so he asked me to drop them off as he was headed out of town."
Quinn stares dumbly for a moment, and then she nods. "Right," she says. "The article. It almost slipped my mind, with everything going on here." She clears her throat. "Frannie, can you give us a minute while I get what I need? Mom mentioned she wanted another glass of wine."
Frannie gives Rachel a critical look, but she eventually steps back and disappears. Quinn immediately exits the apartment and closes the door behind her, letting out a breath that sounds heavy and just a little relieved. "I don't even care what you're doing here, but it is so good to see you," Quinn whispers.
"Are you okay?"
Quinn meets her gaze. "My father died while we were in Florida," she admits.
That is not what Rachel was expecting to hear. "I'm so sorry."
Quinn just nods. "I hadn't seen him since I was sixteen," she says. "It was no great loss to me, but I was expected to be there, even though he's the man who kicked me out and gave me half an hour to pack my things."
Rachel reaches for her before she can stop herself, her own irritation and confusion overpowered by her desire to comfort Quinn. "You didn't tell me."
"No, I didn't," Quinn says. "I don't really know where a dead parent fits on the whole relationship scale when we've been dating for nearly three months."
"I'm always going to be here for you," Rachel tells her.
"I never told them about Beth," Quinn blurts.
"What?"
"They didn't know about Beth." She shakes her head. "We already weren't on speaking terms when I found out I was pregnant, and I just - it didn't make sense to subject my child to what they put me through." She visibly shudders at merely the thought. "I also didn't want them to think I was suddenly straight just because I happened to sleep with a man."
It's times like these that Rachel hates there was ever a time in Quinn's life when she was made to feel unwanted and unworthy.
"Suffice to say, it was a surprise to many when I showed up with Beth, and now - now my mother and sister are here, and I just - I don't know how to - "
Rachel wraps her arms around her without another thought, pulling her close to her body and holding her the way she's wanted to for the past three weeks.
"I'm sorry," Quinn whispers against her neck. "I didn't want you to see me like this. I'm supposed to be this person who's put together and just - none of this is what you signed up for."
"I signed up for you," Rachel assures her, hand smoothing over her hair. "Whatever that entails."
It takes Quinn another minute to compose herself, and then she's stepping out of Rachel's hug and saying, "They're only here because they were convinced I've had a secret relationship with Beth's father this entire time."
Rachel's eyes widen. "What?"
"Joke's on them, though, because I'm in love with a woman," she says. "Got the shock of their lives when they showed up here and found it was just me and Beth. I think they were both relieved and disappointed. They're very purposefully ignoring that I date women."
Truth be told, Rachel doesn't hear anything past, I'm in love with a woman, her own mind screeching to a halt as it tries to compute just what Quinn has said.
Quinn doesn't seem to have noticed what she's said or how it's affected Rachel, because she's checking the time on her watch and groaning quietly. "I have to pick up Beth," she says.
"How is she doing with all of this?" Rachel asks. "It must be a lot."
Quinn's expression reveals just how distressed she is with current events, but she schools it quickly. "I don't think she fully understands what's happening beyond the fact she has a Nana now. She's been sleeping in my bed, though, and we've been dealing with nightmares where I - "
"Where what?"
"Where I'm the one who dies."
Rachel sucks in a sharp breath, not daring to entertain such a thought. "Death isn't easy to understand at any age."
"I hoped to shield her from it for as long as possible," she says. "If we'd been home when the call came, I would have left her in New York with her godmothers, but there just wasn't any time."
"Everything happens for a reason," Rachel tells her, and it's something she's always believed.
Quinn reaches for her hand, holding it loosely. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you what's been happening."
Rachel doesn't tell her it's okay, because it's not really. What she does say is, "I'm not your last relationship, Quinn." Her voice is firm, truthful. "I don't know who they are or what they did, but you're treating what we have with that filter on, and we're not that. I'm not that." She steps close to her. "You can call me and count on me. You can complain about your family and cry against me and rant at me. You keep wanting me to stay, but you actually have to let me."
Quinn studies her for a moment, and then nods. "Okay."
"Okay."
"I have to go pick up Beth," she says. "Would you like to join me?"
"What?"
"Come with me to pick up my daughter," she says. "Please."
Rachel can hardly believe it, so she just nods. "Sure."
Quinn smiles in relief, presses a kiss to her cheek, and then tells her to give her five minutes. She disappears into her apartment as Rachel drifts towards the elevator, taking out her phone.
There are messages from Kurt, Tina and Mike all waiting for her, but she ignores them in favour of opening up the ongoing Note she has about her relationship with Quinn. It's silly, she knows, but she has to put all the big things somewhere.
Today is the biggest of the big.
Quinn is in love with her. That deserves an entire paragraph, but all she gets is a quick, she loves me, she said it and didn't even realise it, before Quinn joins her once more. Her hand reaches out, and Rachel takes it immediately.
They make out the entire elevator ride down. Rachel has missed her quite terribly, yes, but she also just wants to be as close to her as she's physically able to. Hands in her hair, just breathing her in.
She never wants to go close to three weeks without seeing Quinn ever again.
They're both inappropriately disheveled when they step out onto the sidewalk, but Rachel cares about that as much as Quinn does, which seems like very little. It's a short walk to Beth's school, Quinn's hand held loosely in her own.
Quinn doesn't say much, and Rachel keeps her questions to herself for the time being. They'll have time to talk another time. She's just - she's so glad that they're still okay. So glad Quinn isn't Jesse.
"This is it," Quinn says, slowing her pace as a large brown building appears on their left side. There's a small lawn area in front of it, other parents already waiting for their children to emerge at the end of the day.
Rachel's suddenly nervous, and her tell is the way she adjusts her grip on Quinn's hand.
Quinn glances over. "Hey," she says, "It's going to be okay."
"What if she doesn't like me?" Rachel blurts, and she doesn't even care if she's being a little irrational right now. Beth is five years old. It's going to be okay.
"She already likes you."
"What?"
Quinn leans into her slightly, warm and solid. "She already knows about you," she explains. "You're Mommy's girlfriend, who bought her a kangaroo, and who also likes Peter Rabbit. Apparently, you smell like peppermint."
Rachel just stares at her.
Quinn gently knocks their heads together. "She's going to love you."
And Rachel can't resist asking, "The way you love me?" because she needs to hear Quinn say it again. Needs to know it wasn't a once-off or a fluke.
Quinn's hand squeezes Rachel's tightly, making them both present. "I should hope not," she murmurs, close to Rachel's ear, because there are people gathering around them. "I actually want to have sex with you."
Rachel chokes on air, because Quinn is -
She laughs, pressing a kiss to Rachel's cheek, and she's just so endlessly stunning. Gorgeous in a way that makes Rachel wish for the world to stop and recognise this perfection. "I do love you," she says a moment later, and it's also the moment the front doors to the building burst open and tiny human beings come running out.
It's like a sea of them, all dressed in little school uniforms, dark blue blazers and light blue checked skirts and crisp white shirts. Rachel spots Beth quickly, and Beth notices her mother a beat after.
It is everything and nothing to witness the way her eyes light up, and she sprints towards Quinn, her school bag almost bigger than she is bouncing along behind her.
Quinn lets out a delighted little laugh as she stoops down to meet the onrushing Beth, and lifts her right off the ground.
Rachel already loves them both.
"Hi, baby," Quinn says, kissing Beth's hair. "How was your day?"
"Damien puked on Reza's shoes," Beth tells her, eyes wide and excited. "It was so gross." She scrunches up her face adorably, giggling when Quinn tickles her side and asks her just how gross it was.
When Beth notices Rachel, she freezes, and Rachel holds her breath. "Mommy," she whispers the way only a five-year-old does, which is not at all. "It's your girlfriend."
It is a concerted effort not to make a truly embarrassing sound, but Rachel just about manages it.
"It is," Quinn's tells her, propping her on her hip, and Rachel is faced with two pairs of hazel eyes and pouty lips. "Her name is Rachel, remember?"
Beth looks at her for a long time, and then she holds out her right hand. "Hello, Rachel," she says, so very seriously in her tiny, adorable voice. "My name is Beth Fabray. Thank you for my kangaroo."
Oh.
Oh God.
Rachel looks at Quinn, because this child can't be real. She can't. It's not even fair that Quinn - kind, stunning, sexy, flirty, amazing Quinn - has given birth to this adorable creature.
Quinn raises her eyebrows expectantly, and Rachel kicks into gear. She immediately shakes Beth's hand and says, "Hello, Beth," in a tone that matches hers. "It is lovely to meet you, and you are very welcome for the kangaroo."
Beth grins, wide and toothy, and then looks at Quinn. "Mommy, please put me down."
Quinn puts her on the ground, looking a little bemused.
Beth steps towards Rachel and looks up at her. Those eyes are searching, holding such intelligence, and Rachel just knows this moment is very important.
Eventually, Beth looks at Quinn again. "Please can we get ice cream?" she asks. And then: "But not the green kind, because, ugh, it looks like Damien's puke."
Quinn shakes her head in amusement. "You really are on your best behaviour in front of Rachel, aren't you?" she teases. "Bringing out all your pleases and thank yous, hmm?"
Beth's smile is full of innocence. "Ice cream, Mommy."
Quinn glances at Rachel, asking a silent question. Rachel has nowhere else to be right now, and not for another few hours. She doesn't know how she gets that across to Quinn, but it must land, because Quinn turns her attention to Beth.
"Just me?" she questions.
"Rachel can come too," Beth says.
"Did you ask her?"
Beth turns those eyes on Rachel, and every moment with her feels so very important. "Please will you have ice cream with us?" she asks. "Mommy misses you."
Rachel blinks. "She does?"
Quinn's eyes widen at the same time Beth says, "She always cooks veggie only food when she misses you."
"Oh, my God, Beth," Quinn says, and Rachel laughs. "What are you even talking about?"
Rachel bends to whisper to Beth. "Can I tell you a secret?"
"Uh huh." She nods seriously. "I won't tell anybody."
"I miss her, too," Rachel confesses, and Beth beams at her.
"Does that mean you'll have ice cream with us?"
"Oh, Beth," she says, "Of course I'll have ice cream with you." She doesn't say she'll always have ice cream with her, because that's not a wise thing to commit to a five-year-old, but the sentiment remains in her mind.
She didn't know it until this moment, but this is everything she's ever wanted right here.
Rachel straightens to her full height, her eyes meeting Quinn's. "Shall we?"
Quinn smiles this smile that speaks literal volumes. Rachel is still watching her mouth when a small hand slides into her own.
"Ice cream time," Beth sings, and her other hand takes hold of Quinn's, linking the three of them together. "I want bubblegum."
"We can get you bubblegum, baby," Quinn assures her. "Maybe some sprinkles."
"Rainbow sprinkles," Beth declares, and then she's marching forward, pulling Quinn and Rachel along. "Lots of them."
Lots and lots of them.
Rachel is aware she's smiling like an idiot, but she can't help it. She wouldn't be able to stop if she tried, and she's not going to bother even trying. Her cast mates look at her as if she's lost her damn mind, but she doesn't even care. Let them think what they want - she knows what's happened to her own self.
She's fallen so deeply in love that there is no way back for her. She realises, only after her show, that she didn't actually say the words back to Quinn. She feels them. Of course, she feels them, but the words -
The last person she told she loved and actually meant the words turned out to be her lying, cheating husband. Rachel was burned by it rather severely, which is why it's been as long as it's been before putting herself out there. It's not something she regrets, in an abstract sense, because she's learned so much about herself, as well as realised all the things she deserves in a committed relationship.
That doesn't make telling Quinn how she feels any less scary.
She's carefully avoided Kurt and Tina, ignoring calls and refusing to answer the door when they deign to show up at her apartment. She needs some space from them; space she spends with Quinn - and sometimes Beth.
They even come over to her apartment one Sunday morning, and it - Rachel can't begin to describe how good it feels to have them in her space. To share it with them.
Rachel also learns they're really the same person, just with different heights. They have the same eyes and the same temperament, able to switch moods on a dime, and they give every ounce of attention they have to the person right in front of them.
It all just solidifies how much Rachel loves them; getting to see them exist in her life. She still has to figure out how to tell Quinn, though.
But it's good. What they're doing, it feels good and right and like they're finally headed in the same direction. Beth is the single most important person in Quinn's life, and Quinn shares her so easily now.
Rachel even gets to talk to the five-year-old on the phone, hearing all about her day at school and how her Nana bakes fresh cookies every single day. It's always a lot of disjointed information that shouldn't make sense, but Rachel loves every second of it. Loves it even more when she gets to speak to Quinn afterwards.
"Okay, okay," Quinn says, taking the phone back from Beth. "Are you all packed?"
Beth murmurs something in the background, and Rachel frowns as she shuffles through her own apartment towards the envelopes sitting on her kitchen island. She still has two hours before she has to be at the theatre, and she doesn't quite know what to do with herself on this particular Friday.
"Why is Beth packing?" Rachel finds herself asking, only partly listening to Quinn and Beth's back and forth about whether she'll need four pairs of socks or five.
"She's going to her godmothers for the night," Quinn explains. "Beth, you're not going to need your Wellingtons."
Rachel's frown deepens, because Beth spends only every second Friday with her godmothers. She was there last week. "She is?"
"Oh. Yeah. They're on babysitting duty, because my sister decided we have to have a 'Fabray Ladies Night On the Town.'" She chuckles. "Her words, unfortunately. Only one daughter was blessed with the writing gene, it seems."
"That sounds nice?" Rachel offers. "Is it? I can't tell if you're excited or dreading it?"
"Probably a bit of both," Quinn confesses. Then: "Beth, tiny love, please can you stop packing all your stuffed animals?"
Dear God, Rachel loves that little girl. "Do you know what things Frannie has planned?" Rachel asks.
"Hmm?"
"Plans? Night on the town sounds pretty vague." She doesn't think Frannie would do anything too crazy, but this is New York City, and people sometimes manage to find themselves in all sorts of trouble without even realising it. She's not sure how she'll feel having to bail out her girlfriend.
"I know there's a fancy dinner involved," Quinn tells her. And then, almost far too casually, she says, "We're actually going to your show tonight."
Rachel hums into the phone, slightly distracted by sifting through her mail. Wait. What? "You're doing what?"
"My sister got us tickets," she explains, as if all of this is just normal. "She's rather excited about it, but I don't think she realises it was you who showed up at my door. At this point, I'm just waiting for the best moment to say, 'that's actually my girlfriend,' after she's spent an hour gushing about you."
Rachel doesn't know what to do with this information. "Tonight?"
"Yip," Quinn answers, easy. "I'm sorry it's taken me so long to go, actually. I guess it was easier just to - just, you know, keep things separate."
"But not anymore?"
"I don't want any part of my life to be separate from you," she says, which is a lot to take in. "The situation with my mother and sister is - well, it could be better. They're still here, and I honestly don't know when they're going to leave. Beth wasn't kidding. My mom bakes something new every day, and I think Frannie's accumulated an entire new wardrobe while she's been here with the amount of time she spends shopping." She sighs. "I'm still figuring out all of that, but I would really like you to meet my friends, if that's okay."
Rachel stops moving, heart slowing in her chest. Quinn always finds a way to do this: be so simply casual about rather big steps in their relationship. As if she doesn't understand how it all affects Rachel, or just refuses to.
"Are you sure?" Rachel asks.
"Of course." Always, just so easy. "But I better go now," she says. "Gotta finish packing up the rascal, and then make sure I look good for you."
"You always look good."
Quinn laughs. "Yeah, okay. I'll see you tonight. Love you. Break a leg." And then she hangs up, leaving Rachel positively reeling.
Okay.
She files away the fact Quinn just casually drops in the word love for now, because she has another, more pressing, issue with which to deal.
Rachel doesn't get nervous. She's been performing since she was three years old. This is nothing new. Hell, she's even performed in front of her significant others before. She's actually performed with her spouse. She does not get nervous.
Except on the day Quinn, her sister and her mother are going to be in attendance.
It's fine. She's fine. If she's going to be nervous because her girlfriend is in the audience, then Rachel is going to give the best performance of her entire life. It's what she tells herself and, when the curtain comes down hours later and her costars just gape at her, she realises she must have hit the mark, and then surpassed it.
Her director even says, "If they don't give you a Tony for that; I'm quitting the business," which is a lot for her to digest. But so is emerging from behind the theatre to find Frannie and Quinn squished in among other fans wanting to get their playbills signed by her and other members of the cast.
Her, mostly, though, given the performance she just had.
Rachel looks less like her character and more like herself now that the green paint is gone, wearing the same jacket she wore when she turned up at Quinn's door, and it is a sight and a half to see Frannie actually sputter when Rachel reaches her area of the waiting crowd. Behind her, Quinn is smirking, and Rachel wants nothing more than to grab the front of her shirt and drag her into a truly inappropriate kiss.
Instead, Rachel looks at Frannie and says, "Do you want me to sign that?"
Frannie nods. "I saw you," she says, and then tosses a look over her shoulder at Quinn. "I saw her, right?"
Quinn just shrugs as she leans forward, head popping up over her sister's shoulder. "You were great," she says. "Truly amazing. I don't know why it took so long to come watch you."
"Worth the wait, I hope?"
Quinn winks. "As all good things are," she says, and Frannie stares between them in disbelief.
Rachel wants nothing more than to stay here and keep talking to Quinn, but there are still other fans to see, and Frannie looks as if she's about the explode. "Call me later," Rachel says to Quinn.
"Definitely," Quinn immediately agrees, and then Rachel moves on to some of her younger fans, stooping a little to take selfies and look into eyes. It's easy to get lost in their excitement, feeding off their energy. When she does look in Quinn's direction again, she and Frannie are nowhere to be found.
Rachel suddenly can't wait for her call.
"My sister hasn't stopped talking about you."
It's been the theme of all their recent calls, Quinn flip-flopping between amusement and irritation at her sister's antics. Rachel's choosing to view it all as a positive thing, because Frannie doesn't seem opposed to the relationship she's now discovered between her sister and a woman. It's a step in the right direction in terms of their own relationship, and they're about to take another one.
Rachel is meeting the best friends.
"So, we'll just meet you at the restaurant?" Quinn says, their call coming to a natural end. "We'll probably be waiting for you at the bar. San's had a pretty shitty week, so I'm apologising in advance if she takes a while to settle into the evening. It's nothing to do with you. I would have rescheduled, but getting the four of us together has already been a difficult task."
Rachel spends a moment recalling that Santana is actually a surgical resident at Mount Sinai, and she makes a mental note not to ask about work.
"I can be there by ten," Rachel tells her. If she rushes after the end of her show, she should get there right on time.
"Awesome," Quinn says. "Okay, I'll see you later then. Love you. Bye."
"Later," is all she manages to say in response before the line cuts. She sighs. There's never been a good time to tell Quinn she loves her as well, mainly because the moment has never been right, or Quinn just doesn't let her get a word in after her increasingly-frequent declaration.
Tonight.
She's going to tell her how she feels tonight.
But first she has to meet Quinn's best friends. Beth's godmothers. The two other most important people in Quinn's life.
She's okay.
Really, she is.
If her performance suffers because of her nerves, only she knows. It's nothing noticeable, but it's there if someone is really paying attention and she's just relieved there weren't any known critics in the audience tonight.
She hopes, at least, because they do like to sneak in from time to time, ready to catch the performers off guard. But Rachel doesn't really have the time or mental capacity to be worrying about that. She has a good impression she needs to make.
The three of them are already waiting when Rachel arrives at the restaurant, heart pounding in her chest. They're standing by the bar, glasses of wine in their hands and casually chatting among themselves when Rachel approaches.
Quinn beams when she spots her, automatically handing her glass to the woman next to her and moving towards Rachel to greet her with a soft kiss to her lips and a gentle squeeze of her arm.
"Don't look so nervous," Quinn whispers. "They're harmless."
Uh.
They're definitely not harmless.
Santana is blunt, and Brittany is intense in her own way. The first few minutes are awkward as they settle at their table and Rachel orders her drink. Rachel keeps glancing across the table at Quinn as the four of them peruse their menus, just needing some assurance that this isn't turning into as much of a disaster as she thinks it is.
Quinn just smiles at her, though, giving away nothing, and the tense atmosphere seems to dissipate as the evening moves along. Brittany asks most of the questions, genuinely interested in Rachel and Rachel's life, while Santana just watches her in silence.
Which is fine. Rachel already accepted it was unlikely she would win her over in one night, but she thinks she scores some significant points when she answers a question Brittany asks about her plans for her future. Here, in New York.
She's not going anywhere.
She's staying right here, working on Broadway for as long as it'll have her, and being with Quinn for as long as she'll have her. It's all she wants, really, to be able to stay here and live her life and be happy. With Quinn and Beth.
The second she says those words out loud, Santana seems to settle and Quinn's one foot slides across the space under the table and gently presses against her own. Huh. Maybe it's going better than Rachel thought.
Quinn merely confirms that when she says, "Well, that went better than I thought," as they're walking to Rachel's apartment from the restaurant, hands clasped once they've left the company of Santana and Brittany. "It was a little rocky at the start, but Brittany already adores you, and Santana really accepted you're the real deal when you started bitching about how ridiculous people can be when walking on the sidewalk."
"They're heathens," Rachel says, careful not to get worked up again. It's been so long since she's truly been alone with Quinn, heart swelling with every moment they get to spend together. She's not sure they'll actually get the night to themselves until Quinn is following her into the building and into the elevator, and then into her apartment.
Quinn says, "Beth is asleep, and my mom and sister are with her, and it has been far too long since I've had the chance to taste you."
Rachel closes the door behind her, locking it and turning to look at her. "You're staying?"
Quinn slides her coat off her shoulders and drapes it over the back of one of Rachel's armchairs. "I am," she says, "and I'm also wearing far too many clothes."
Rachel grins at her. "Is this a super early Christmas present?"
"Getting to unwrap me?"
Rachel moves towards her, already trying to decide where she's going to start. "Yeah."
"You don't need it to be a special occasion," she says, "though you're forgetting that we still have Thanksgiving and your birthday to get through first."
Rachel crowds into her space, hands already reaching out to touch everything she can get her hands on. "I haven't forgotten."
"We better have sex again before Christmas," Quinn says, and then she's removing her own blouse, lifting it right off her body and revealing her gorgeous, smooth skin and lacy bra.
Rachel has never managed to get used to the sight of Quinn in all her glory. "Yip," she says, distracted. "We definitely need to be having more sex."
"We're young and hot-blooded," Quinn agrees. "All this energy needs to be used up."
"Baby, you catch naps when your kid does," Rachel reminds her.
"Being an adult is fucking exhausting."
"I'm about to exhaust you right now," Rachel promises, and Quinn grins in anticipation.
"Well then, do your worst."
It's with three fingers buried deep and her eyes trained on Quinn's that Rachel very purposefully says, "I love you," with all the emotion she feels for this woman beneath her, and Quinn comes harder than she ever has before.
Or so she claims.
Rachel tries again, anyway.
Since the divorce, Rachel has spent Thanksgiving with Tina and Mike and their boys. Before, she and Jesse would be with his family or just spend the holiday in the Hamptons socialising.
This year, Rachel spends it with Quinn and Beth and Santana and Brittany. Quinn is actually a nervous wreck as she asks what Rachel's plans are, her eyes shifty, as if she's truly worried about pushing too far too fast.
"My mother and sister have left," Quinn explains. "They do have their own families to return to, so I'm a bit relieved, but I also - is it weird that I miss them?" She shakes her head. "Which is absurd, because it's been years since I saw them and they really just crowded our apartment with all their stuff and I'm definitely relieved Beth can return to her bedroom, but, yeah, it's weird."
They're seated on a bench in a park, Quinn's arm around her waist as the two of them watch Beth play with a few other kids. Rachel still hasn't spoken to Kurt or Tina since their little blowup, rather spending all her free time with Quinn and Beth or with her cast mates. She knows she's going to have to make contact eventually, but -
"If you're not doing anything in particular, you should spend it with us," Quinn says, purposefully not looking at Rachel as she says the words.
Rachel turns her head and kisses Quinn's cheek. "Is Beth okay with that?"
"She demanded it, actually," Quinn says. "You're our family now."
Rachel's heart stutters in her chest, expanding and expanding. "Is this what it feels like?" she asks, "to get let into your world."
"The doors are wide open," Quinn informs her.
"I'll be there," Rachel confirms, and then stresses about it for all the days leading up to what is truly going to be a family affair. Tina calls more often in the days leading up to the day, and Rachel is forced to send her a text to stop, explaining that she already has plans for the holiday.
Quinn claims that she and Beth don't actually have any Thanksgiving traditions, but there ends up being no actual turkey - honey, you're a vegetarian - and a lot of board games. The meal isn't fully vegetarian - Santana would riot - but they actually have sustainable fish instead, which kind of alters all the flavour profiles of the traditional meal, but it actually turns out better than all of them expected - particularly Quinn.
"I was ready to have to order takeout," she admits, and Rachel wonders if this could be a new tradition for them.
The evening, itself, is lighthearted and less stressful than the first time Rachel met Santana and Brittany. They also appear more relaxed, Quinn's smile particularly blinding whenever they all seem to get along. Beth acts as an adorable buffer, and Rachel worries about the dynamic once she's fallen asleep until it actually happens.
She fights sleep rather valiantly, Quinn allowing her to stay up 'late.' She's passed out by eight-thirty, finding a warm spot curled up against Rachel's side, and Quinn snaps a picture that Rachel suspects will end up somewhere in this apartment at some point.
Quinn eventually takes Beth to bed, lifting her up and carrying her to her bedroom to tuck her in. For a moment, Rachel is tempted to follow - not entirely because she doesn't want to be left alone with Beth's godmothers, but actually because putting Beth to bed is something of which she always wants to be part.
As soon as Quinn is back, Santana rather wickedly suggests they switch to drinking games, which is really how Rachel ends up in Quinn's lap as she takes a shot off her body, with Santana and Brittany practically passed out on the couch. Rachel wouldn't even know how it happens, but she's definitely not complaining.
"If you unbutton your shirt any more, you're going to give everyone a free show," Rachel murmurs, licking at the skin of Quinn's neck.
"It's just you and me here," Quinn taunts, and Rachel kisses the lime from her lips, tongue in her mouth and mind already whirring with all the dirty, dirty things they could be doing.
"We should go to your bedroom," Rachel says. "Yip. Definitely. Your bedroom." Her hands rest on Quinn's shoulders as she gets to her feet, using her as support, and Quinn's gaze is on her the entire time. "Meet you there." And then she's gone, expecting Quinn to follow.
Which she does, of course, after she's locked up and switched off the lights, laid light blankets over her two slumbering friends, and checked that Beth is sleeping soundly.
Rachel is already in Quinn's bed when she enters, heart beating steadily in her chest. Quinn seems to pause in the doorway, eyes on her as if she's actually surprised to see her there.
Rachel blinks. "Hi."
Quinn smiles. "I just realised something," she says, stepping forward and closing the door behind her. "I want this."
Rachel's brow creases. "This?"
"This," Quinn confirms. "You. Me. Us. You in my bed, us living this life together, being able to come to bed and find you here. All of it. Shit, I just want all of it. All of you."
Rachel doesn't even know what to say to her after that. "I - is that because I basically just promised you dirty sex?"
Quinn grins. "You did?"
Rachel pats her lap. "Come here."
Quinn doesn't move. Just stands and watches Rachel for a moment, and then says, "I really do love you, did you know that?"
It stops and starts Rachel's heart every time she hears Quinn say the words. So open and willing to be vulnerable with those emotions with Rachel. "You tell me quite often," Rachel points out.
"I don't want you to doubt it," Quinn tells her. "I never want you to question how I feel about you."
Rachel pats her lap again. "Come here," she says again.
Quinn makes sure the door is locked and the overhead light is switched off before she moves forward and resumes their earlier position save for the fact she's straddling Rachel's legs now. "You smell like tequila," Quinn says.
"I taste like tequila, too."
Quinn kisses her mouth, tasting the alcohol on her lips. "Hmm, it seems that you do."
Rachel's hands settle on Quinn's hips, drawing her closer. "I love you," she whispers. "I had no idea I could feel something like this again."
Quinn looks into her eyes. "I don't think I've ever felt this before," she says, frowning slightly. "Not with anyone else."
It does feel different, Rachel will admit. They've been together for only months now, but it already feels so real and so much like forever. "I've been married before," Rachel says. "It didn't last long, but it was intense and all-consuming, and I put off trying again for another love until Kurt practically forced me to go on a blind date. I had no idea what to expect, but it was never this."
"A hot woman in your lap?"
"She's sexy and beautiful and kind and funny and flirty and just everything I didn't know I needed in my life," Rachel says. "But, essentially yes, a hot woman in my lap."
Quinn laughs, her arms wrapping around Rachel's neck. "You want to kiss me so bad, don't you?"
Rachel nods.
"We're doing too much talking, are we?"
"I really do love talking to you " Rachel assures her. "I could talk for hours, but I could also have sex for hours, and I'm trying to decide which I would rather be doing."
Quinn grins. "Well, my love, we can actually talk in public," she says. "Not quite the other thing, though, so we should probably take advantage of this time we have, hmm?"
"I like that," Rachel whispers, gaze dropping to Quinn's lips. "I like that you call me that."
"My love," Quinn says again, and Rachel wraps arms around her waist and brings her closer and closer. Quinn leans in to kiss her again, and then they stop talking entirely.
Happy Thanksgiving, indeed.
Kurt and Tina end up ambushing her at work.
They're waiting when she arrives for her call time at the theatre and she doesn't really have the time to fight with them before she's scheduled to be in makeup. They've been here before, so they know they can follow her inside, the two of them remaining silent as Rachel continues to ignore them.
They last until Rachel has finally made it to her dressing room, green paint already in place on her face. Her first costume is already laid out, waiting for her to change into.
It's Kurt who says, "I see Quinn is back at work."
Rachel almost rolls her eyes. "I'm quite certain she's been back at work for a while, Kurt," she says. "You know, after she took her days of bereavement."
Kurt's mouth opens, and then closes. Opens again. Nothing comes out.
"What are you guys even doing here?" Rachel asks, taking out her phone to check her messages. She might even have a quick Q&A session on Twitter. Anything to make the next few minutes bearable.
"We're worried about you," Tina starts.
Rachel looks between them. "Oh, you mean you're not actually here to apologise?"
Tina looks stumped. Then: "We might have gone about it the wrong way, but you have to admit there were a few red flags."
Those supposed coloured flags are things she and Quinn have actually discussed. Quinn might have expressed that Rachel doesn't need to take an active role with Beth when they first met, but things are different now.
Different enough that Rachel is now on the list to pick her up from school.
"You haven't even met her," Rachel tells Tina. Then, to Kurt, she says, "And you have. You set me up with her. Why have you suddenly changed your mind about her?"
"I haven't," Kurt insists. "I was just worried she wasn't as serious about you as you seemed about her."
Rachel frowns. "And what makes you think she wasn't? That she isn't?"
"Dating parents is tricky," Tina says.
"No," Rachel says, eyes on Kurt. "I'm asking you."
Tina looks at him as well, the two of them waiting for some kind of explanation. Eventually, he sighs. "I didn't realise who her kid's father was at first," he finally says, and Rachel does her best not to react.
"What?"
"He's our boss, Rachel," he explains, and he actually looks apologetic. "And he's married. It's like this open secret in the office, and I tried not to care about all the gossip until it was Quinn's name I was hearing. She worked under him for a few years when she first started out, and then she got promoted after she gave birth. I just didn't want you to get hurt again."
Rachel has been careful not to ask about Beth's father. He's obviously not involved in their lives, and Quinn has never really offered up any information on him. It's just her and Beth. Why does it matter whom he is?
Rachel doesn't care. Even if Kurt is right. Which he might not be. It's all just office gossip and Quinn wouldn't -
Well, Rachel doesn't know, but it's not like it matters, anyway. Rachel really doesn't care.
"I love her," Rachel says. "Whatever you're trying to protect me from, it's too late, okay? I love her, so I need you both to stop trying to talk me out of a relationship with her, because it's too late. I'm in it with her and nothing else matters."
They both look uncertain - which isn't Rachel's concern - but any other words from them are rebuffed by the arrival of one of the runners coming to inform Rachel she has twenty minutes until curtains up.
"I have to get ready now," Rachel tells Tina and Kurt. "Maybe, when you can stop trying to dissuade me from being happy with Quinn, then we can continue this conversation."
Which, to be fair, Rachel isn't going to hold her breath over.
It sits on her brain, though. She meant it when she said it doesn't matter if all the office gossip is true or not, but it does occupy her thoughts for a lot longer than she would likely admit to anyone.
If Quinn notices her distraction, she doesn't mention it until Beth has been put to bed on Monday evening and the two of them are pressed together on the couch and watching Maid in Manhattan. It's one of those films that you can always just watch again, leave it playing while you do something else.
Like discuss Beth's parentage.
Rachel blurts it out the second the words, "Okay, do you want to tell me what's bothering you?" leave Quinn's mouth. Rachel just can't stop them, and she says, "Kurt told me who Beth's father is."
Quinn looks stunned for a moment, and then her eyes narrow. "Did he?" she questions. "And who exactly did he say is her father, hmm? I'm curious to know."
Rachel audibly swallows. "Um. Your boss."
Quinn snorts. "My boss? As in Mr Adelaide? Seriously?"
"I - yeah." She clears her throat. "He seems to think you had an affair with your married boss, and then you got promoted when you discovered you were pregnant."
"Huh." Quinn looks far too calm about all of this. "No wonder Yolanda from Accessories is avoiding me now. I wonder where they got all this info from."
"It's not true?"
Quinn gives her an incredulous look. "You don't actually believe that, do you?"
"I don't really care, either way," Rachel assures her. "I guess I was just curious. He seems to think he's done a gigantic wrong by introducing us, and we've kind of been butting heads about the fact the person he set me up with turns out to be exactly the person I left behind in my marriage."
Quinn studies her closely. "You love me a little too much, don't you?"
"I love you exactly the right amount, thank you very much."
Quinn kisses her mouth, pressing their lips together for a long moment. "I'm sorry you're fighting with you friend," she says. "If it makes you feel better, I've never had an affair with my boss, and he's definitely not Beth's father."
Rachel nods, feeling relieved.
"His son is."
Rachel's eyes open wide. "His son?"
"Josh Adelaide," Quinn says. "We did meet at work, but he didn't actually work there. Never wanted to. He was one of those men who was perhaps too much in the clouds for a person like me, who is firmly rooted in the ground. A free spirit, as it were. An artist, a peace-seeker, someone determined to change the world.
"I was coming out of a relationship when we met, fresh off of getting my heart broken by a woman who had the nerve to tell me I was too intense for her." She immediately covers Rachel's mouth with her hand. "Don't even say anything."
Rachel just smiles against her fingers.
"That's probably why I was drawn to him," Quinn continues. "He was exciting, the least intense person I'd met, and he took me on an adventure right across the world. Drank way too much, took too many drugs, ate every kind of food, and had some questionable unprotected sex with him and other women, but it was definitely an experience to remember. I actually wrote about it when I finally got back to work, preparing a whole serial of articles about the various places we visited." She stops, her eyes looking faraway. "Josh was dead before he could ever read a word of it," she says, "Didn't even get to know that he would be a father."
Rachel actually gasps at the revelation.
"I tell Beth about him when I can," Quinn says. "I didn't know him for very long, but he was her father and they both deserve for her to know of him. I don't think it's ever really clicked for her what it means that she's never met him, and I spend every day hoping I can somehow protect my baby girl from that pain."
"You can't."
She sighs. "I know." Her attention shifts to the television screen that is depicting Jennifer Lopez with her son in the movie, and he really is a cute kid. "James - that's Mr Adelaide - promised he would make sure we were looked after," she explains. "There's a college fund for Beth, but I didn't - it didn't feel right to take his money. I just asked if I could transfer to a job where I wouldn't have to leave New York, and he made it happen. It wasn't a promotion. If anything, it was a lateral move."
Rachel suddenly wishes she could tell all this to Kurt, just to put him in his place, but she already knows she won't. Nobody else deserves this story.
"We have lunch with James and Edith once a month," Quinn continues. "Edith is - I don't think she's ever recovered from losing Josh, so seeing Beth is difficult for her. I can't even imagine what it's like for her, so I try to understand. It's not as if she's bad with Beth. She just - they've never quite connected."
"In time, maybe," Rachel offers, heart aching for a woman she's convinced she'll never meet.
Quinn nods absently, and then laughs. "Oh, you know what this must be about," she says. "When we had lunch the last time, James and I actually returned to the office at the same time. Shit. Do people actually think we were out banging?"
Rachel really doesn't want to think about Quinn banging anyone who isn't her.
Quinn rests her head against the couch, sighing. "I don't know if I should apologise for not explaining sooner," she says.
"No apology," Rachel is quick to say. "I really was just curious. I just never felt I could ask, and then it kind of just blurted out. I wouldn't want to rush you."
"Josh is - he was very kind to me during a time that could have been a lot more difficult for me," she says. "He's Beth's father, yes, but he played a role in my own life that's separate to her. I don't think we were ever confused about what we were to each other, but I'm - I don't know if it's a selfish thing, but I'm really glad I got to spend that time with him before he was gone."
Rachel hasn't asked. She won't, because it seems Quinn is purposefully avoiding revealing just how Josh passed away.
"Nobody knows," Quinn tells her. "There was never a cause of death released. All anyone knows is that he's no longer with us." She says the words, but Rachel can already tell Quinn knows the truth, and that the truth is not a pretty one.
Rachel reaches for her hands, holding them both. "I'm sorry you lost him," she says, and she means it. It is heartbreaking that he will never get to know Beth, and vice versa.
Quinn meets her gaze. "Can I tell you something?"
"Of course."
"Kangaroos were his favourite animal," Quinn says, and the words themselves shouldn't have any importance, except that -
"I bought Beth a kangaroo that first night," Rachel says, mostly to herself.
"I just knew I had to hold onto you," Quinn says. "I know it sounds silly, but there's a part of me that honestly believes he sent you to us."
"It doesn't sound silly," Rachel assures her. Then: "Can I tell you something?"
"Of course."
"One of the reasons Jesse and I ended is because he just wasn't ready to start trying to grow our family," she explains. "Took me a few months to realise he was never going to be, and I - " she stops, considering if she's going to say too much. "You said it yourself, Quinn. I want this, too. I want us. You, me, and Beth. I want to come home to you. I want to be here in this bed, watching you come home to me. I want to wake up with you every morning. I just - I really, really want. All of it."
Quinn kisses her, catching her by surprise. And then she pulls back and says, "Okay."
Rachel smiles. Okay, indeed.
Beth makes Rachel a card for her birthday. She draws a picture of Rachel's character, including green skin, and Rachel knows she's going to treasure the artwork for the rest of her life.
Beth gives it to her the day before her thirtieth birthday, which actually falls on a Tuesday, and it's unlikely Rachel will get to see her. Mondays are their day, anyway, and Rachel sits on the couch with Beth in her lap while Quinn finishes up with dinner in the kitchen.
It's already the best birthday she's ever had.
Beth is telling Rachel about her day, talking non-stop, as if this Monday has been any different to another Monday. She's really a mini-Quinn in the way she tends to use her hands to talk whenever she gets animated about something. Rachel listens intently, hearing every word, and just knows that she will love this child for forever.
"Okay, okay," Quinn calls from the kitchen. "My loves, dinner is ready."
Beth squeaks, and then scrambles off Rachel's lap, almost tripping over her own feet. "Pizza time," she sings. "Pizza pizza pizza."
Rachel watches her go, heart so full with how much love she feels in this moment. It's overwhelming and so unexpected. Months ago, she didn't even know them, and now she's here spending her birthday with only them, when the previous year was so, so different.
It catches her off guard, just how much her life has changed already.
This is it.
She's sure of it.
There's just a very important step they have to take first, and then they'll be set. Rachel waits until Beth has gone to bed to bring it up, her and Quinn relaxing on the couch with wine and two of Rachel's opened presents sitting between them. They're both from Beth: a kangaroo keychain and a pair of ice-cream socks that matches a pair of her own.
"My fathers are actually going to be in New York for Christmas," Rachel finally says, and she knows it's not fair to have left it this late to tell Quinn. "They want to meet you."
To her credit, Quinn doesn't look at all alarmed. Just smiles and asks, "What do you want?"
"I want them to meet you," Rachel says. "I want them to know you beyond how much I've gushed about you these past months."
"You gush about me?"
"All the time."
Quinn's smile widens. "And what exactly do you tell them?"
Here, Rachel contemplates whether the whole truth will work in her favour or not. It's just that she can't see any kind of life beyond Quinn, and that might be something terrifying to put on what could still be considered a young relationship. "I tell them that you make me very happy," she finally says. "I tell them that I've found the one."
Quinn hums. "The one, huh?"
"Would you want to meet them?" Rachel asks her. "Would you even be okay with that?"
Quinn reaches for her now, hands sliding over her shoulders and into her hair. She draws her in close, lips pressing against her cheek. "Would I be okay with meeting the people responsible for raising this gorgeous woman whom I love, hmm?" she asks, mostly rhetorically. "Would I even want to know the people who have given me you?"
"Baby, I've given you me."
Quinn kisses her, long and slow. "It's your birthday," she murmurs.
"It's my birthday," Rachel confirms.
"Which means you deserve a birthday present."
"Yes, please."
Quinn pulls away quite abruptly, and Rachel actually jumps. She chuckles. "Wait here. I'll be right back."
Rachel can just watch her leave the room, her heart already starting to race in anticipation of whatever Quinn has in store for her. It's an exciting relationship in quite a few aspects, but there's also a lot of calm. There's an undeniable intensity, the two of them feeling as if they've fast-forwarded through all the small talk.
The three of them, she means.
When Quinn returns, she's wearing a silk gown and a lecherous grin. Her hair has been freed from its ponytail, her lips painted red, and she's holding what looks like a leather -
"Oh."
Quinn stands there for a moment, studying her. Then, very quietly, she asks, "Yes or no?"
Rachel barely takes a breath before she's scrambling to her feet, almost tripping the way Beth did earlier, and Quinn lets out a laugh.
"I'll take that as a yes," she sings, and it is.
It's a resounding yes, yes, yes.
Before Rachel meets Quinn and her fathers for lunch, she stops by Mike's work to drop off Christmas presents for the boys. It's the one part of this fracture that's really hitting her the hardest. She'll be devastated if they somehow end up forgetting her.
"They miss you, too," Mike tells her when she mentions it. "We all do, actually."
Rachel hasn't lumped him in with his wife and Kurt. As far as she knows, he's Switzerland, which is fine. "Would you want to meet her?" she asks.
Mike hesitates for only a moment, but then he nods. "If she makes you happy, of course I want to meet her," he says. "She has a daughter?"
"Beth, yes," she says. "She's five. Loves kangaroos. Hates spiders. Eats pizza like she's never eaten a meal in her life. She's energetic and talkative and intense and non-stop. She's sometimes sulky, gets quite moody at times, but she gives some of the best hugs, and I love her just as much as I love her mother. If not more."
"Wow."
She shrugs. "They're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Mike," she says. "Somehow, those two are just going to have to get over themselves and just understand and accept that."
"Maybe they know something we don't."
"They know nothing."
Mike nods, not giving away any of his thoughts. "I'll talk to them," he finally says. "And I'll let the boys know you're thinking of them. Thank you for these, by the way. You know you don't have to."
"I want to."
"Thank you," he says again. Then: "I'm about to get some lunch. Want to join?"
"I wish I could," she says, already checking the time. "I'm having lunch with my fathers, actually. Quinn is meeting them for the first time."
"Oh, wow," he says, "How are you feeling about that?"
"Good, actually," she says. "I know they'll like her. She's just a bit worried about it, somehow still convinced I'm going to wise-up and remember she's a workaholic, single mother, and then leave her."
"You'll reassure her," he says, certain. "You've always known how to make the people you care about feel important."
"They're the most important," Rachel declares, and it is such a relief to her when it seems as though Mike actually believes her. It bolsters her for what's coming. She wasn't kidding when she told Mike she was feeling good about it. She's not particularly worried, because she gets the impression her fathers are already fond of Quinn.
There's just something about her, you see? This potent mixture of uncertain and confident, sexy and adorable, intense and somewhat aloof. She's a duality Rachel will gladly lose herself in, and she intends to spend the rest of her life lost.
Quinn is waiting around the corner from the restaurant when Rachel arrives. She's talking on the phone, only noticing Rachel's approach when she's already close enough to hear Quinn's end of the conversation.
"No, I already told Greta that I can't go," Quinn says. "It's a full week, and you already know I can't leave Beth for that long. I can't exactly take her with me, either, so you're going to have to find someone else." She sounds agitated. "Actually, no, it's not part of my job. You can read my contract if you don't believe me." Then: "You know what, why don't you just ask Mr Adelaide?" she snaps, "He'll be happy to clue you in on exactly what my job description actually is." Then she hangs up, takes a breath, and then only does she notice Rachel.
For a moment, Rachel's sure she sees panic in her eyes.
"Hi," Quinn says, forcing herself to relax. "How long have you been standing there?"
"Long enough to know you're clearly agitated," Rachel points out, and she knows the impending meeting with her fathers probably isn't contributing to Quinn's lingering mood either.
Quinn huffs. "That was my editor," she says. "Well, my assistant editor. He's new; likes to think he can hand out orders that Greta hasn't signed off on. To be honest, I don't think he'll last long."
"What's he asking you to do?"
"Johnny was supposed to cover this festival in Tampa the first week of January, but he's just gone on paternal leave, so Allen is trying to get me to go in his stead, but I can't. I literally can't."
Rachel doesn't know why she asks the question, but she's curious. "Why can't you?"
Quinn seems to consider her response. "Beth, mainly," she says. "I mean, it's a full week, and she'll be back at school during the time I'm gone, which means I can't take her with me. Not that I could, anyway, because she's an additional expense, and how would I even get work done, because Tampa is nothing like Disney World. Santana and Brittany are great, obviously, but they have their own lives and I couldn't leave her with them for a whole week, and I - "
"What about me?"
Quinn stops speaking the second Rachel cuts in. "What?"
Rachel doesn't know where all these words are coming from, honestly. "Did you ever even consider me?" she asks.
Quinn opens her mouth, and then immediately closes it. Opens it again. "Honestly? No, I didn't."
Rachel isn't hurt by the admission, though she is still curious. "Why not?"
Quinn shifts her weight. "I don't know," she says. "It just didn't occur to me." She sighs. "I've never been in a relationship with someone I could ask, and I don't want to put you under pressure to be some kind of full-time parent to her. I mean, I should be able to do it on my own."
"But you're not on your own," Rachel points out, realising this really has little to do with her, and more to do with Quinn and how Quinn views herself in her relationships. "I don't feel any kind of pressure here, okay? I want to be the person you ask. I don't even want you to have to ask. It should just be assumed. I told you I'm in this, Quinn. You and Beth and everything that comes with that."
Quinn looks momentarily overwhelmed by all Rachel has said. "You'd really be okay with that?" she asks. "A whole week of just you and Beth?"
"I mean, we'd probably have to ask her first, and maybe you can make lists about what actually needs to be done until I get a better hang of it, but I - yes, Quinn, I want to do this. If you're comfortable, of course. Is it too soon for you?"
"No, it's not," she says. "Just, maybe we should spend some time working out the logistics of it before we make any decisions."
"Okay."
Quinn reaches for both her hands. "I'm sorry," she says, "I suppose I'm still getting used to what it means to have a partner in everything."
"You're about to meet my fathers, Quinn," she says, "Believe me, I'm not going anywhere."
"Speaking of," she says. "We shouldn't keep them waiting. That'll be a terrible first impression."
They start for the restaurant's entrance, arms linked. "Full disclosure, they're already very fond of you," Rachel tells her. "And Beth. I hope you don't mind that I send them pictures. Shit, I didn't even ask."
"It's okay," Quinn assures her. "My kid is cute. They should know I can produce adorable children."
Rachel stops walking just before they reach the front door, and Quinn looks over at her in concern. "Why would they need to know that?" Rachel asks.
Quinn frowns. "What? That my genes produce cute kids?"
Rachel nods.
Realisation dawns on Quinn and she audibly swallows. "Wait. Do you not want more children?"
Rachel can't recall if they've ever spoken about this explicitly. "You do?"
Quinn is very serious when she says, "I'm definitely not done." She smiles nervously. "Beth's been asking for a little sister for months now, and I'm at least inclined to try to give her one at some point. I'd prefer that be with you, but if that's not what you want, then I - " her voice fails here, and the reality of their ideals misaligning is too much to think about.
Good thing they don't.
Rachel grins. "I mean, I don't know how you're supposed to have a baby with me, but we could certainly try," she says, and Quinn lets out a breath of relief.
"Shit, you scared me," Quinn says, hand over her heart. "We can talk about it more later. We're late enough already." She gives Rachel a quick kiss, and then they finally enter the restaurant, finding Hiram and LeRoy Berry already with their drinks on the table.
The introductions are short and quick, Quinn charming them from the get-go. She declines the wine on offer, claiming she still has to pump out two complete articles by the end of the day.
"And then I'm officially on leave," Quinn says, smiling at merely the thought. "Beth has requested all the breakfast foods known to man now that we'll have time in the morning."
At the mention of Beth, Hiram is off, asking any and every question about Quinn's pride and joy. They're all parents of daughters, and it shows. Rachel's fathers even throw in little anecdotes about how Rachel was growing up, which Quinn finds immensely amusing.
The entire time, Rachel tries desperately not to lose herself too much in how it feels to have this significant person in her life fit so well with her family. It wasn't always like this with Jesse. He fit in with her theatre crowd, but he seemed to leave everything about Ohio behind when they found themselves living in New York.
Speaking of.
"Rachel mentioned you're also from Ohio," Hiram says, and it's actually a reminder for her as well. Quinn grew up there. They were very close to being neighbours, for all Rachel knows.
"Technically, yes," Quinn says, frowning slightly. "My mother and sister live out there, but I haven't been back - oh, wait." She shifts uncomfortably. "I went back for a funeral recently, but it'd been some years since I visited before that."
Hiram and LeRoy must sense her discomfort with the topic, because they breeze right past Ohio and actually end up talking about Quinn's time at Yale. Apparently, LeRoy works with a doctor who studied there; claims the man is very verbose.
All in all, Rachel would call the meeting a resounding success. Her fathers even express interest in meeting Beth while they're here, gently dropping their desire into conversation, and Quinn looks a bit baffled by it.
"You would?"
"Of course," Hiram says. "Rachel talks about you almost as much as she talks about her."
Rachel doesn't even try to deny it, feeling Quinn's hand settle on her thigh under the table. She squeezes once, and then just leaves it there.
"We didn't want to assume, but Rachel also mentioned that Beth is quite the fan of kangaroos, and we were just walking past this store, and saw the most delightful - "
"And giant," LeRoy throws in.
"Kangaroo," Hiram finishes, shooting a glare at his husband. "Okay, it is very big. I would never dream of taking it on the subway, but a cab should work."
LeRoy leans forward. "What my husband is trying to say is that we may have already purchased a Christmas present for Beth, and we were wondering if we would be allowed to give it to her."
Quinn blinks. Looks at Rachel, whose own expression must tell her that this is also news to her. "That's - oh, you didn't have to do that."
"We wanted to."
Quinn looks a little panicked, which is why Rachel says, "We'll have to check if we'll have time." Her fathers are leaving on a cruise before the new year, and Quinn has plans to spend Christmas Day with Santana and Brittany - and Rachel, if she's free.
"Christmas Eve," Quinn blurts. "You should join us for dinner. Beth is making pizza."
They exchange a look with each other, and then with Rachel. It's Hiram who says, "We don't want to put you on the spot, Quinn."
"No, you're not," Quinn says. "I think, if we're - I really love your daughter, and I want this to work, and you're such important parts of her life, so I think the best thing is to spend as much time together as we can."
Rachel lays her hand over Quinn's that's remained on her leg, curling her fingers around her palm. "Is that what you actually want?" she asks. "Not what you think is expected?"
"No, really," Quinn says, "The more, the merrier. Beth will love it. She's a bit of a social butterfly."
"Doesn't take after her mother at all, hmm," Rachel teases, accepting that maybe Beth's penchant for human contact is something she inherited from Josh.
But then Quinn says, "If anything, you're helping nurture that part of her," as if Rachel is actually having some kind of effect on the way Beth is being raised. Rachel isn't exactly a social butterfly in the sense that she constantly attends social events, but more in the sense that she's definitely an extrovert who does tend to enjoy those situations.
Her fathers look delighted by this. LeRoy asks, "So, Christmas Eve?"
"Christmas Eve," Quinn confirms, and then spends the next few days trying not to freak out about it. She truly is a dichotomy, and Rachel has to make her come three times in one hour before she truly relaxes and just accepts that whatever happens is going to happen.
Which, as it turns out, is actually something unexpected.
Truthfully, Rachel would bet money on Beth and Hiram getting along best. They're both talkative and people-friendly, but Beth actually takes to LeRoy from the moment they're introduced.
Rachel is baffled by it until Quinn wraps arms around her waist and whispers, "She's comforted by people who are similar to me."
It's the first time Rachel considers that her Daddy and Quinn do share some traits: they're both generally calm and assured, good listeners, more prone to doubting their contribution to the world and their family, and have a certain nobility that manifests in different ways. LeRoy has dedicated his life to saving lives, and Quinn has given every part of herself to be the best mother she can be.
Inherently, Beth must be able to recognise that.
Though, the fact LeRoy is the one holding the giant kangaroo when they arrive must contribute to it.
Beth talks to him non-stop, Quinn even has to tell her to give him a bit of a break when the food is ready. Then she turns her attention to Rachel, wanting to share her pizza with her. It's really the first time LeRoy and Hiram get to witness Rachel with a child where she plays the role of a second parent.
It's a bit daunting, because it's clear to her that Quinn has handed over some of the reigns. Maybe some kind of tester for what may or not be coming in the new year. A potential full week with just her and Beth.
It goes well.
It goes really, really well.
When they leave at the end of the night, Beth has already been put to bed and Quinn has already finished packing the dishwasher. Rachel is the one who gets their coats and gets hugged tightly enough that Rachel knows they're genuinely happy.
Hiram even whispers in her ear, saying, "You make a very cute family."
Which, yeah, they really do.
"Hold onto her," Hiram adds, just before Quinn joins them to say goodnight and thank them for a wonderful evening.
"Maybe we'll see you before we leave," LeRoy says. "Or maybe Rachel will bring the two of you to Ohio some time soon."
To Quinn's credit, she doesn't look as panicked as Rachel thought she might. "Maybe," she agrees. "We'd both like that."
LeRoy looks to Rachel. "We will see you tomorrow."
"Yes, Daddy."
He kisses the top of her head. "Don't stay up too late now," he tells them both. "I have it from the source herself that Beth will be up first thing in the morning."
"Of course, Daddy," she agrees, and then they leave, Quinn closing the apartment door behind them. Rachel feels like they've accomplished something big. Some final hurdle on the road to being together the way Rachel realises they were always meant to.
Well.
Rachel suspects they'll have to tackle the issue of Tina and Kurt at some point, but that can be a problem for the new year. She's not too worried, given their history. She also has Mike on her side, so she's hoping those two will just accept that Quinn is her forever. She's suddenly certain of it.
"He's right, though," Quinn says, interrupting her thoughts. "About getting to sleep. Last year, Beth woke me at four. I'd really like to get in a decent number of hours before we have an energised kid on our hands."
"It's my first Christmas with her," Rachel says, slight wonder in her voice. They haven't really discussed whether she's staying, but she is. She already knows she is.
"The first of many, I'm sure," Quinn says, stepping back.
Rachel reaches for her, fingers closing around her wrist and keeping her close. "I am so stupidly in love with you."
Quinn looks bemused, but then she smirks. "You just want your Christmas present early, don't you?"
"Only if my present is you."
Quinn leans in to kiss her cheek. "I'm going to get ready for bed," she says, "Come find me when you've packed the food away."
Rachel watches her go, an extra sway to her hips. It's honestly amazing that this is her life. Just thinking back to that first ever text Quinn sent her, asking her to meet at this very apartment instead of at a restaurant for their first date. The attraction was instant.
It still burns even now. No matter what's happened with Kurt, she knows he's done for her something she can never quite find the words to thank him for. She likes to think fate and destiny might have played a part eventually, and she might have found her way to Quinn eventually, but this is how it's happened, and she's the happiest she's ever been.
It's maybe why she goes in search of her phone once she's put the leftovers in the fridge. By now, Kurt has stopped calling and texting. Mike must have relayed to them just how things are going for her. This time last year, she was working herself to the bone, so focused on emerging on the other side of her divorce successfully.
She did, for the most part, but now she's actually winning at life, and Kurt needs to know that.
She texts him, her fingers typing out words she wasn't sure she was even thinking of sending.
When the time comes, I am going to marry this woman, and I sincerely hope you will be standing up there with me when I do. She is kind and smart and absolutely stunning. She is giving and considerate and sometimes stubborn. She can be moody, she can be quiet, and she can be unsure. She has a past she is entitled to, and she has a daughter whom I love dearly. She is everything I didn't even know I was looking for, and I thought I should thank you for that.
Whatever you think you know about her, believe I know the real truth. I know you want to protect me from a situation like Jesse again, but there is one key difference between him and Quinn that I think we've both managed to forget. As soon as she knew she was allowed to, all she's done is reach for me, when Jesse reached for someone else. She is here, and she is solid. And she wants me. She wants ME, Kurt. So, one of these days, I am going to marry her, and I like to think this whole thing can be something you allude to in your best man speech.
Until then, though, I just wanted to wish you a happy holiday. My fathers mentioned you were headed to Lima, so I hope Burt and Carole are both well. I hope I'll see you in the new year 💛
Rachel sends the message, and then doesn't bother to wait for a response. She just switches off all the overhead lights, peeks in on a blissfully-slumbering Beth, and then goes to find Quinn.
She's already tucked away in bed, glasses on her face and phone in her hands.
"I'm just setting an alarm," Quinn says. "Somebody's going to have to eat those cookies and drink that milk."
"Shotgun the cookies."
"Beth made sure it was oat milk, by the way," Quinn says, setting her phone on the nightstand. "To make sure Santa has another option. I'm sure he gets cow's milk everywhere else."
Rachel just stands on the carpet and watches her, knowing that there is literally no other place on earth she would rather be right now.
Quinn frowns at her stillness. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she says. "I just really love your kid."
"Well, I'm quite certain she loves you too," Quinn tells her.
"I know," Rachel says, stepping forward. "She told me herself."
Quinn's eyes snap up. "She did? When?"
"Earlier," Rachel says, walking around the bed to her side. "When I took her to bed."
Quinn sits up. "You didn't say anything."
"I think I'm still processing, if I'm being honest."
Quinn is quiet as she watches Rachel head into the en-suite bathroom to finish getting ready for bed. She doesn't even seem to have moved by the time Rachel comes back out, breath minty fresh. Quinn's eyes remain on her as she climbs into bed, carefully draping the duvet over her body.
Once she's settled, Quinn finally says, "You're not freaking out, are you?"
Rachel frowns. "Why would I be freaking out?"
"I don't know," Quinn says, "There's a difference between being with me, and being with me and Beth." She puffs out a breath. "I mean, I'm terrified, Rachel. My kid loves you. She simply adores you, and I've tried to be so careful, you know? Because we're a lot. Being a parent, shit, it's a lot, and it's literally forever, and I just - it will break me to lose you now, so I don't even want to entertain what it'll be like for her."
Rachel shakes her head. "One day, you're going to tell me about this ex of yours who has you convinced the fact you're a mother is the worst part of you, okay? And then I'm going to go beat her up."
Quinn manages a smile. "She's long gone."
"I'm not her."
"I know."
"And I'm not going anywhere," Rachel assures her. "I don't know what's going to happen in the future. We might not work, I certainly don't know, but I do know that - "
"What?"
"I really love your kid, Quinn," she says again. "If we aren't it - which I truly believe we are - then she is."
There's silence that exists between them, but it's oddly comforting. It doesn't feel as if Rachel has just vowed to remain in Beth's life, regardless of what may or may not happen with Quinn. It isn't as if she's also alluded to the idea of spending forever with them.
"Is it weird that I'm turned on by the way you love my kid?" Quinn suddenly asks, and Rachel laughs.
"Oh, my God," Rachel says, shifting further down and lying back against the pillows. "You just say things, don't you?"
"I mean, would you rather I didn't?"
"No, definitely not." Quinn's mouth is really one of Rachel's favourite parts about her. "Do you remember our first date?"
"When I cooked for you?"
"And almost killed me with your innuendo, yes."
Quinn smiles, looking lost in the memory. It's been months since then, but Rachel feels as if she's already lived a lifetime. "I did actually get you a gift," Quinn eventually says.
"Is it something I get to take off of you?"
"New Year's Eve, I promise." She rolls onto her right side to dig through the drawer in her nightstand. "It isn't much, not really. It's more symbolic than anything. It's just that, well, we've come a long way in a short time, and I've never - "
"You've never what?"
"I've never actually trusted a partner as much as I trust you," Quinn admits, and now she's looking at Rachel again, a small box in her hands. At the alarmed look on Rachel's face, she's quick to say, "It's not a ring."
"Quinn."
"Not yet, at least."
"Oh, my God."
Quinn just grins as she hands over the box. "You should know that, under this duvet, I'm wearing very little." Which is really code for the fact she's not wearing anything.
Ah.
That's why she set the alarm.
It still amazes Rachel that she's managed to get this lucky. Even right now, all her favourite people are in the same city, all of them safe and healthy and appearing happy.
Rachel opens the box to reveal a set of keys.
"It's for the apartment," Quinn explains. "And the building, of course. They're meant to go with the keychain Beth got you. They're - um, we just want you here with us. That's all."
Rachel stares at the keys in the box. "Are you asking me to move in with you?"
"Only if you want to," Quinn rushes to say. "If it's something you'd be okay with. And, I mean, it doesn't have to be right away or anything. I just - you should probably have a key, anyway."
When Rachel takes too long to respond, Quinn tilts her head. "What are you thinking about?" she asks, voice just a little nervous.
"You met my parents tonight," Rachel practically blurts out, which is a topic of conversation very far from where Quinn probably thought it was going. Rachel is still just holding the box in her hands.
"I - yes." Her brow creases. "How do you think it went?" she asks, looking particularly concerned. As if she wasn't just at the same dinner, witnessing now their family members just gelled within minutes of meeting.
Rachel decides to move now. She closes the box and sets it on the nightstand - she can put it on the keychain tomorrow - and then shifts the duvet up to be able to roll onto Quinn's prone body. She sits up, straddling Quinn's - hah, she was correct, because they are bare - thighs and says, "I'm pretty sure my parents now expect us to get married."
Quinn just stares up at her, eyes a little wide, because this is the second time in as many minutes that there's been an allusion to proposals and marriage. And there's an apartment key involved, so at least they're in the same chapter, if not quite yet on the same page.
It feels as if they're embarking on something big and monumental, but she's isn't scared. Not even remotely worried, which is in such contrast to how it felt with Jesse.
"I don't mean to push, but is that even something you would want?" Quinn asks, tone very serious as she moves her hands to rest on Rachel's thighs.
"I already told you I wanted it all," Rachel reminds her. "You, me, Beth." She leans forward, right hand on Quinn's sternum, poised to lean forward and kiss her right into Christmas morning. "All of it, Quinn," she murmurs, "It's just the beginning of us."
Fin