The Fate of the First Hero of Light
All the villagers of Rim Knob have surrounded me.
I can clearly see it now.
They have strings like puppets, they are almost imperceivably but when they move you can see the air is slightly distorted.
The same as when you see thick curved glass move.
The village bicycle...I mean Millian moves to attack.
She moves erratically.
I block with my cursed greatsword "Hout Plank".
The force of her fist hitting the flat side of my blade, sends me back 20 paces.
No female Hume, except my Grandmother has strength of that level.
I thought I could just disable them without hurting them, but if the others have strength similar to the puppet Millian.
I cannot hold back.
Frustratingly my greatsword looks razor sharp.
Unfortunately the cursed blade only inflicts blunt damage, I cannot cut their strings.
My ice magics have been sealed to help with Zelda's Dark Mage training, so that my magic could not interfere with hers.
The town drunk stumbles towards me.
Again blocking his erratically moving attack, I fly backwards, I slide on the wet grass trying to balance.
I lose my footing, flying backwards with speed, my back hits a tree with force.
The leaves are falling down.
"I have no choice then."
After short times...
"Where is Zelda, Lepin?"
"I will never betray our Lord..."
I snap two of his fingers and bend them backwards in the opposite direction.
"SHE IS ON THE 50TH FLOOR "DIE DEMOON" WILL POSSESS HER!"
"I see, the Demon wants to possess Zelda."
As I descend the dungeon...
All the gold and jewels have been turned to lead and rocks.
There are monsters laying on one of the upper floor levels.
They are scratching themselves all over, recently a spell was cast.
It was "Scratch Patch" a level one dark magic spell:
It will give the afflicted being a very irritated area on their body. When they scratch the cursed area, the evil itch will spread even further.
I do not even move to kill them, they have been totally incapacitated.
I pass the first area the stonework is more haphazard now.
There are beasts, they are half cow and half devil.
There are many magical doors next to them.
This is the Dark Magic spell, "Urgent Door Check", it is a level three spell:
The beasts open and close the doors.
The spell is working.
The beasts move not even 3 paces away from their door.
They turn around, they are wondering if they closed the door correctly and if they locked it.
They are compelled by the evil spell to make sure if it was done or not.
When caught in this spell even the mightiest of beast becomes totally harmless, trapped in Zelda's dark magics, suffering an eternal hell of anxiety!
I descend to the next area.
The floor is not paved anymore just compacted dirt.
I can feel heat and start to see faint light.
The monsters are now creatures of the underworld, red skinned, with beast horns and evil looking eyes.
The monsters are grouped together, sitting on the floor.
They are drawing lines on the floor, behind each one is a heap of lead chunks and rocks.
One of the monsters lets out a victory cry.
He takes the other rocks from the devils and pulls it towards itself.
It is added to his heap.
This is one of Zelda's most evil Dark Magic spells, "Gambler's Wife", it is a level three magic spell:
When cast it compels the victim to gamble uncontrollably.
There are almost a 100 devils in this room.
She only needed to cast the spell on two of them. Then their constant pestering, inciting the others.
Finally they fall prey to the evil that is wagering!
They look like enemies that would have given me an extremely fierce battle.
Yet they sit drawing lines, piling rocks onto their heaps of "treasure".
Very soon they will start to kill each other...
The frustrations of a gambler on an unfortunate losing streak, lashing out at a perceived slight from another. Quickly enflaming the others too, then finally spilling over into physical violence.
I remember at the Academy, I once bet two marbles that I could make a play.
Luckily I lost, they were my most precious marbles, if I had won maybe it would have led me down a life of debauchery and finally onto ruin.
I descend to the next area.
The walls are no longer formed by hand.
This is a large cave complex, I can start seeing without straining my eyes.
There are Ogres and Golems.
They look very handsome.
Their hair is done up in a pompadour style, all of them are wearing stylish obsidian glass eyewear.
The Ogres are looking at me with crossed arms.
They are making movements as if they want to attack, then moving backwards again.
Staring at me with the evil eye.
The Golems with pompadours are hunkering on the ground.
They signal to me with various hand signs, the same way as the criminal groups in the Capitol do.
The Ogres and Golems are smoking some kind of herb, the smell is intense, my head feels dizzy.
They are all wearing red leather jackets.
There is a heap of dead skinless red demons next to them.
This is the Dark Magic spell, "Vain Drain", it is a level two spell:
Creatures hit by this spell will become totally absorbed in fashion matters and the latest trends. They will not attack me as they fear they might mess up their hairdo.
I descend further downwards.
The area is now totally lit.
The magma running down from the walls, giving of massive amounts of heat.
There are Succubi here.
They are dressed head to toe with a long grey unfitted dress.
It is hanging loosely, you cannot appreciate their pleasing body shapes.
They are also wearing grey frilled caps.
When they see me, they pull their caps over their heads and walk past me.
No doubt judging me for not wearing gloves on this formal floor!
This is Zelda's most evil Dark Magic spell, "JUDE THE PRUDE!", it is a level ten forbidden dark magics spell:
It can take any woman's sexual appeal away!
The victim of this cruel spell, is compelled to cover herself with the plainest clothing possible.
Even the act of speaking to her can lead to an investigation by the authorities.
As she now sees any communication between herself and a male as an attack on her honour.
I am guilted out of this area.
The disdainful and judgmental looks of the cursed Succubi compelling me to run to the next area.
The next area is completely dark the Evil Knights are searching the dark floor for something.
This is the Dark Magic spell, "Darkest Cruel Fool", it is a level four spell:
When cast it forces a person to search compulsively for something they dropped. The room is lit, except our perception is changed. That is why the room is dark. I hear something fall out of my pocket. I want to bend over in the darkness of the floor, it only fell two hands breadth to my right.
I freeze in place and start running looking for the exit.
As I am running massive amounts of coins, watches, crystals, keys and the like drop out of my parka.
This spell has only recently been cast, Zelda was here short moments ago.
If I get caught in this spell.
I might spend the rest of my life here.
The pendant my wife gave me, fell out of my pocket.
That is the one thing I cannot lose!
I break two of my fingers, the darkness starts to fade.
The room is well lit, the magma running down the walls.
The spell is pulling me in again.
The light of the room is fading a tunnel is forming around me before the hole closes and traps me.
THERE IT IS!
I jump down the stairs.
I hit my head and dislocate my shoulder.
The heat is intense and the light is so bright. I feel this is how it would be if you could stand on the sun.
I find a nearby column, I hit my shoulder with force against it.
CRACK
My arm pops back in.
The cave complex has turned back into structures.
This area looks like a temple. We have been in one similar to this one, the Mountain Temple, at the Death Mountain Crater.
There are vipers, snake like creatures, they have four arms.
They are clustered together, they are playing Roshambo.
The one Viper throws the sign for stone,
the other one the sign for parchment, he wins,
the other Viper has thrown shears, he wins.
Each one of their hands throws all of the same signs, at the same time.
This Dark Magic spell is, "Finger Fumble", it is a level two spell:
When you need to be precise or careful. Your hands shake or make erratic movements. It can also confuse the control between the limbs.
Zelda was here only short moments ago.
The Vipers want to attack me, they are caught up in so many things at the same time.
They cannot focus, they drop their weapons, some still play Roshambo.
"Zelda should be on the next floor."
I hear a blood curdling scream.
"PLEEEEASSEE GODDDD FORGIIIIIVE MEEE!"
I rush down the stair well.
There is a mighty door.
I unsheathe "Hout Plank" and kick the door free from its hinges.
There is giant Demon in the room.
He has large teeth, flaming eyes, a mouth spewing flames and mighty pointed horns.
The Demon is on the floor sitting on his knees...
He is pleading towards a hooded figure, with a wide brimmed pointed hat and a mages staff.
The figure shoots the Demon with the spell, "Scratch Patch!", he twists and turns on the floor contorting his body.
The blood is flowing down his chaffed skin.
"OHHH NOOO! HELLPPP MEEEE!"
The figure casts, "Urgent Door Check!", a mighty door is formed from the ether.
"THANK YOU LORD! I CAN ESCAPE THROUGH THIS DOOR!"
The Demon runs through the door.
He hits it as hard as he can. The door does not close, it makes a loud creaking sound and swings open.
He runs for not even 10 paces and stops.
He turns around and goes back to the door.
He closes it and runs again, he stops.
"DID I LOCK IT?!" he suffers for many moments.
The figure breaks the enchantment.
"Tell me why the Lord's horses and men could not put together again! Who was it! What did they have to put together!"
"NEVER! IF I TELL YOU, I WILL LOSE MY POWERS! I WILL NEVER TELL YOU THE SECRET OF HUMPREHY DUMPREHY!"
"Who is Humprehy Dumprehy?"
"CURSES, I WILL NEVER REVEAL MY SECRETS!"
"Face the financial ramifications of your actions!"
The figure casts "Gambler's Wife!".
The Dark Mage prepares for a spell.
While clutching her staff underneath her arm.
She weaves complex hand signs, then she incants a spell.
She takes her staff and points to a direction.
She casts...
"Holey Moley!"
A large round mirror is formed out of nothingness inside the room.
ZELDA CASTED A PORTAL SPELL!
The devils and the vipers enter the room.
Zelda signals to one of the devils he opens a curtain behind the Demon's throne there are mountains upon mountains of riches.
She gives the gambling devils loaded die, they will always fall in the same way.
Glaring at the pleading Demon she unleashes her wrath, pointing her staff towards him.
"Finger Fumble!"
The suffering starts...
The Demon is compelled to gamble by the spell.
His shaking hands are fumbling the die.
He is losing even though the die can only land in a certain way!
Tears are flowing fiercely down his cheeks.
The coldest of a Dark Mage breaks the spell.
The Demon has lost half his gold.
She signals towards the smiling devils and vipers, they bow deeply towards the Evil Mage.
They exit struggling to carry their winnings.
"Speak Demon who is Humprehy Dumprehy? Why was the Lord's horses and men needed?"
The Demon is crying, undoubtedly about his financial ruin weighing heavily on his black coal of a heart.
Finally he wipes his face, wiping his magma snot from his nose and his flaming tears away.
He steels his heart, he remembers that in war or world domination there will always be sacrifices needed to be made.
He screams, roaring, through his demon throat.
"I WILL NEVER TELL YOU THAT SECRET!"
"I see, very well, maybe this will change your mind!"
The Dark Mage casts another portal spell.
The stylish Ogres and Golems enter.
They signal and whistle towards the Mage.
She glares at them coldly.
She extends her staff towards the Ogres and Golems.
"Muscle Hustle!"
"I have not heard of that spell, I am getting a very ominous feeling." I think to myself.
The Ogres and Golems take of their red leather jackets very slowly in a manner used to incite the feelings of a romantic partner.
My neck hair is standing up straight, I WANT to warn the Demon to flee!?
Zelda throws a greater healing potion on the magma walls, the container shatters, instantly the room fills with steam.
The jacketless Ogres and Golems start dancing against the Demon pressing him in between them.
The Demon slips on the wet floor and lands on his back.
He is struggling to stand, but is turning around on the ground.
"TALK OR DO YOU WANT TO SUFFER EVEN MORE?"
"OHHHH MYYYYY GODDDDD! PLEASE SAVE ME!"
The most Evilest Mage in history casts a spell so forbidden even the mere mention of the name could lead to a magic user's imprisonment.
"Rear Fear!"
I see my life play out in front of me, all my worst embarrassments and failures I have suffered up till this moment in my life.
They feel as if they were nothing compared to the scene I am witnessing.
The Golems and Ogres start shaking their behinds in the Demon's face.
All the while dancing jacketless against the Demon.
Finally he has found some footing he goes to stand, an ogres behind is thrust into his face.
He falls over, sliding on the wet floor, trying to escape, to escape this HELL!
The torment continues...
His suffering is so intense I turn around, I cannot bare to watch anymore.
I feel pity for him.
"SPEAK DEMON!" the most Evil Dark Mage screams.
"NOOoooooooo..."
Zelda is going to break him very soon.
"I see, I was being too merciful. Feel the worst punishment and suffer Demon!"
"Please not anymore I will tel..."
"ENOUGH!"
The Mage points her staff, a round mirror is formed in the air.
The Dark Mage glares with her coldest of a stare at the Ogres and Golems.
They take their jackets and with great speed, jump and flee through the portal.
The Dark Mage has finished preparing another portal.
Out of the ether the mirror is formed.
The room fills with the Succubi wearing their plain grey dresses and frilled hoods!
I instinctively close my parka and put on my mouth piece.
Only my eyes are visible.
Zelda who has far surpassed the moniker of a Dark Mage prepares another spell.
"Darkest Cruel Fool!"
The Demon stands up...
The disdainful looks of the cursed Succubi piercing his dark soul.
He moves to run but stops.
He most likely heard one of his possessions fall.
He fumbles around in his imaginary darkness.
He bumps into a Succubus unintentionally. The look she gives him as he has soiled her honour by touching her.
The others move together to judge him as well.
Not even 10 moments later.
He is laying on the floor convulsing, foam is coming out of his mouth.
The emotional and mental strain caused by the judgmental looks of the women...
Finally breaking his mind and soul.
"Zelda can we leave?"
"WHO ARE YOU?! TAKE THIS!"
I jump and dodge "Scratch Patch".
"I am sorry, Geir looks like I will not be able to solve the dying mans request."
"It is very unfortunate. Can we leave tomorrow?" I say while rejoicing in my mind.
"Yes, let us do. But before that."
Zelda points her mages staff..
"DREAD LEAD!"
Where the treasure was, I hear loud rumblings and rocks rolling onto the floor.
We exit through the portal, I glance backwards.
The Demon is crying and laying in the fetal position...
Finish.