AN: Hey guys thanks for reading and all the great reviews. I'm totally good, just still all typed out, which is really annoying because I can't imagine that there are more than 3-4 chapters left for me to write. Lol and this first scene is totally the plot point of the entire fic...Only 23 chapters later...
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Part Twenty-four
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In the early morning hours, Rhett left the formal parlor to find Wade sitting on the floor against the wall and Nicholas asleep with his head on his brother's leg clutching a stuffed bunny. Rhett had carried his daughter in her casket down with the help of Pork hours ago. Mammy had gone into Scarlett's room to sit with her as he said a private goodbye to his daughter.
"Wade, what are you doing down here? I thought you and your sister agreed to spend the day in your playroom."
"I told Prissy, I needed to talk to you."
"Son, if you don't mind can we talk later-" he couldn't imagine handling much more. He had spent much of the night at Bonnie's bedside. He and Mammy had exchanged their vigils in the middle of the night as he left his wife's bed to go to their daughter's.
"I just want you to remember that you still have Nicky. You're still his daddy. He still needs you."
He paused at the thoughtfulness of the boy, his boy. He bent down and ran a hand a short measure down along Wade's hair. "I still have you and your sister as well." He paused before speaking again, "Has your brother not had his breakfast?"
"He's very tired. He missed Mother."
"Your mother missed you all," Rhett bent and picked up the toddler from the floor.
He was rewarded with a sleepy "Dada," before the boy curled into his father's warm chest.
"Let's get you and your brother some breakfast," he nodded and walked them towards the kitchen. "I have to go-" the words caught in his throat, "I'll be out of the house for several hours today. I'll need you to watch your brother and sister."
"Will Mother be going?"
"No, your mother will be remaining here."
"I'll watch over them."
A sob caught in Rhett's throat once more at the thoughtfulness of the boy, his serious nature. He had been forged at Tara just as his mother. He had been a happy and carefree baby and then toddler in Atlanta. He had returned a vastly different child, his relationship with Scarlett much changed. He knew from Melly that the boy had nearly lost his own life during the time. Rhett had often thought of how cruel the time was to Scarlett, he hadn't fully pondered what it had been to Wade. Scarlett was likely right that it hadn't been her fault how hard Wade found it to behave like a child, it had been the fundamental year they struggled to survive. "Thank you," was all Rhett could say as he laid a hand on his boy's shoulder.
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He'd felt as if he'd aged 20 years overnight when they lost Bonnie, but as he struggled to pull his feet up to the next step as he returned from burying her, he felt as if he'd aged 50.
It was almost cruel to know that he hadn't. To know that his end wasn't near. That he would have to continue to exist in a world without her.
Rhett walked down the hallway and saw that Nicky's door was open, he walked in through it, instead of opening the hall door to his bedroom.
He found Nicholas asleep in his crib and Wade asleep on the chaise.
"I'm home," Rhett spoke softly as he bent to Wade's level. "Go to bed, I'll watch over them now."
Wade nodded and got up without a word still rubbing his eyes.
Rhett entered their room from the side door in the nursery. It was lit only by a single lamp by Scarlett's bedside.
She began to softly cry once more as she saw him.
He didn't bother removing his shoes as he climbed into her bed and pulled her close to him.
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Scarlett's aunts arrived the next morning. After condolences, they had pointed out that it would have been selfish of them to place such a burden on his mother. The children and Scarlett would need caring for because of her condition.
They spoke those words, in their black crepe that they would wear for life because of their lost husbands and children, he realized they were only a handful of years older than him. They had seemed decades every time he had visited in Charleston. He understood it now, understood the loss they had suffered.
They swept in and overtook the household, by the time his mother arrived in the late afternoon. He'd been forced to play host at dinner when all he wanted to do was sit at Scarlett's bedside in silence. He'd also had to explain that all the children took their meals at the dining room table if a meal was set there.
How rarely they had once taken meals with the children, he imagined that once he would have been as shocked as the aunts were. Scarlett's confinement with Nicky had changed that, it had changed them. The older children had taken on an aspect of a project to Scarlett. She did not sit with them and comfort them, uncover and nurture their dreams and desires. She did take note of their manners, their appearance, subjects in school, interests and hobbies that would carry them into adulthood. Without the mills and store to distract her, the children had taken on more of her focus.
He had been relieved when his mother returned at the end of the meal and had sent him to check on Scarlett.
A quiet tune filled the air. It was one of four that came from the music box kept in the bedroom. The simple walnut box, a gift from one of Scarlett's birthdays before the war. Turning the key crank had fascinated Bonnie, he could still recall how proud she had been when she'd finally been able to do it.
He doubted he could ever hear any of the four tunes again without wanting to sob. Scarlett had been playing them since yesterday afternoon. There were a variety of things around her, a basket to do needlepoint, which Rhett hadn't seen her touch during their marriage. Yarn and needles, she had been knitting a new cashmere blanket for the baby, he couldn't imagine it would ever be used, the memory of it on this bed too awful. There were two books on the bed, he picked up a bible from the floor as he walked to her, placing it on a chair out of sight from her bed.
"No watercolors?" he asked as he approached the bed where she lay.
"I imagine my aunts haven't figured how to set the easel in the bed."
His lips lifted in a weak smile. "My mother's returned. Melly will be by later this evening. Where is Sally?"
"Sitting in Nicholas' room. I promised to scream loudly if needed."
Scarlett was obviously over being watched continuously, worse than a child. He sat down at the chair by her bedside.
"Did Dr. Meade say when I could get out of bed?"
"At least a week. He'll be here this afternoon."
"I can hardly imagine a chair would be so different than the bed."
"We'll discuss it with him when he arrives."
"I'll go mad if he wants me to stay in this bed for much longer," she said looking blankly out into the room.
"Is there something you wish to do?" He said more than willing to figure out a way to make that happen.
"Get out of this bed."
"Scarlett, you heard what Dr. Meade said, the baby-"
"I know, don't you think I know!" Her eyes went red instantly and they filled with tears. "But I'm just supposed to lay here! I can't even cry. I can't move. I'm just here in this room with that damn window. Waiting for her little knock on the door and her sweet smile. Playing with her dolls at my vanity or climbing up into bed to-" Tears cascaded down Scarlett's cheeks. "She's everywhere and I can't even cry and I can't stop seeing it and why did we let her…Oh god why did we let her. She should have stayed on your damn horse with you until she was 20 just like her damn candle."
"I'm sorry," he hoarsely whispered as he pulled her into his embrace.
"My baby's dead. I should be allowed to cry."
"I know, I'm sorry," he didn't mean for his hand to go to her stomach, but it did. It sought out the life that existed within Scarlett.
Her hand went to her stomach as well, their fingertips resting over each other. Fluttering movements of their youngest underneath them. "Were we only ever meant to have four? Were we selfish? The miscarriage, how long it took us to conceive. Were they signs?"
He laughed lightly because he couldn't cry anymore, "Five months while you were nursing. I am fairly certain that if there is a god, how easily you get pregnant is a sign that he wanted us to have children."
"I wanted Bonnie, I didn't regret her. All of those horrible things I said."
"I know, my sweet."
"Rhett," she startled as she felt herself moving, "what are you doing?"
He had her lifted up into his arms, he crossed the room with her.
"Dr. Meade said I needed to stay in bed."
"Thankfully, you designed a house with many bedrooms."
"There is only one not occupied by our family," she said not including Bonnie's room. She didn't think she'd ever be able to pass through the entryway to their daughter's room.
"Then the family will play musical beds. I will have beds installed throughout your glorious ballroom, a different performer every night."
She laughed softly. He spoiled her so. He indulged her even during those two years he hated her.
"For now, I will have the music boxes brought upstairs from downstairs and I will look through my personal library for books-"
"Rhett do recall your mother and my aunts are in the house."
"Considering I support all of our households I am fairly certain-"
"I am fairly certain you are wrong in whatever it is you are certain of. Thank you, Rhett," she said as he managed to perfectly shift her weight to one arm to open a door."
"I will get you settled and then gather-"
"Just stay with me for a while," she spoke as he lay her in bed.
"Of course, my dear."
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