This was written for kaoru's dare at Promptbending, which was to write something with a Zuko and Sokka bromance. I should warn that I wrote this while severely sleep deprived, so do point out if you see any typos, etc.

A Manly Misunderstanding

"This isn't working, Zuko. You're being too rough."

A faint grunt. "I am not being too rough!"

"Trust me, you're being too rough. You're dealing with a delicate instrument here. You have to use it lovingly, with each careful stroke b—"

"Alright, alright! I get it, Sokka!"

"And stop squeezing it so hard; it's not a butterfly-snake you need to strangle."

An exasperated sigh. "Are you going to let me finish this or not?"

"Hey, all I'm saying is that—"

The door was suddenly wrenched open and both boys started in surprise, stepping away from each other as they turned to see Suki and Toph standing on the threshold. The Kyoshi warrior rounded on Zuko, pointing an accusing finger at his face.

"You!" she exclaimed. "What are you doing with my boyfriend?"

"Yeah," Toph chimed in before he could respond, propping herself against the wall in a negligent pose. "What are you doing with her boyfriend, Zuko?"

The prince blinked. "What?"

"Don't play dumb!" Suki snapped.

A crease formed on his brow. "I'm not …"

But Suki wasn't listening and had already moved onto her next victim. "And you! How could you do this to me! I mean Zuko. Really?"

Sokka rubbed the base of his neck and shared a puzzled glance with the prince, who just shrugged as if to say that he didn't know why Suki had gone crazy either. Frowning, Sokka stared back at his girlfriend.

"Uh, am I missing something here? What have you got against Zuko, and what am I supposed to have done that's so bad?"

Toph grinned. "Oh, this is going to be good."

Suki clenched her hands into fists. "I can't believe you! We heard the whole thing! Toph could even feel what you were doing!"

"I was just teaching Zuko how to carve like the way we do it in the Southern Water Tribe."

Suki let out a derisive snort of laughter. "Oh, is that what they're calling it now?"

Sokka scratched his head. "What else would they call it?"

But once again Suki wasn't listening and instead went into a long rant about respect, trust, and why it was important to be faithful to one's lover—especially when said lover was a warrior with the skills to kick his butt so hard he would kiss the moon.

"And, really, I don't know why you bothered with him," Suki continued, folding her arms under her breasts and glaring at Zuko. "From the sounds of things, he's completely useless at giving anyone pleasure. Too heavy-handed by far."

"Wait, what?" Zuko spluttered, looking both embarrassed and confused. "Just what are you trying to say?"

"Here it comes," Toph murmured, her grin widening.

"I know that you two have been seeing each other behind my back! In fact, I bet if we hadn't come in right then, Prince Jerkface over there would still have his hands down your pants!"

"Woah, woah, woah!" Sokka exclaimed, making a halting motion with his hands. "Stop the canoe. Did you just say what I think you did?"

Suki glowered at him and tapped her foot on the floor. Her silence was affirmation enough. The boys exchanged a startled glance and then blushed, taking a few more steps away from each other as they both made frantic gestures and assured her that she had got it all wrong.

"All wrong," Zuko repeated with much emphasis.

Toph made a show of yawning. "They're lying."

"What?" the boys cried in unison.

"Is this true?" Suki demanded.

"No!" Sokka wailed, clutching at his hair and looking like he was about to start crying in frustration.

"No!" Zuko echoed, throwing a nasty glare at the earthbender. "Toph is the liar. Believe me, I do not like Sokka in that way. I'd rather be eaten by a giant sea monster and then die a slow and painful death as I am gradually decomposed by said creature's stomach acids than touch Sokka in that way."

"Hey!" Sokka said defensively. "I'm not that bad."

"Yeah, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Yeah, you really are. You snore, you talk too much, you think you're always right—"

"Well, at least I'm not a heavy-handed jerk!" Sokka interjected, looking a bit red in the face. "And I can actually tell a joke. What can you do? Tell a punch line!"

Zuko looked a little bit hurt, which wasn't helped by the fact that Toph chose that moment to say "Burn" in her commentator's voice, and with much glee. Sokka seemed to realise that he had gone too far as well and placed a hand on the prince's shoulder.

"Hey, I'm sorry," Sokka said in a more serious tone. "That was a low blow. Your jokes are funny."

"Really?" Zuko asked with a renewal of hope.

"Sure. 'Leaf me alone, I'm bushed' gets me every time."

The prince gave a lopsided smile, which Sokka returned with a broad grin of his own.

"Oh, for spirit's sake," Suki muttered, rolling her eyes. "It's like we don't even exist anymore."

Toph nodded sagely. "I told you that they had a thing together."

That did get the boys' attention.

"For the last time, we're not gay!" Zuko exploded, and then pointed to a lumpy looking bit of wood on the table. "Look, there is the boat that Sokka was trying to teach me how to carve."

Suki raised an eyebrow. "You call that a boat?"

"I think it looks great," Toph commented.

"Thank you! At least someone—" Zuko paused, then glared at the earthbender. "That wasn't funny."

She grinned. "Yeah, it was."

Sokka patted his friend on the shoulder. "Don't worry. You'll get used to it."

Zuko just heaved a sigh. Next time he thought he'd just pass on those carving lessons.