My schedule has been insane and I might be going a teeny bit crazy from not being able to indulge in that elusive thing known as free time, but I still have time for crackfics! (I say this while it is 2:38am and I am utterly high on sugar and sleep deprivation. Weee).

Anyhoo, as usual, you have advocaat to thank for this one. The prompt for brothel advertising cracky times was hers; I just messed around with it.

Titles are for Chumps

Aang didn't know why Zuko was so grumpy. Maybe it was the fake moustache and eyepatch the Fire Lord had to wear for a disguise (Aang, on the other hand, was quite happy to resume his role as Bonzoo Pippenpadlopsicopolis the Third). Or maybe it was because Sokka had put them both on "pimping duty" in order to promote The Peony: a made-up business that had been created for the sole purpose of catching an international criminal who had been terrorising the four nations.

"Cheer up, sonny," Aang said in his best old man's voice, slapping Zuko on the back. "This has to be the easiest promotional job ever. Who knew people liked brothels so much?"

Zuko looked like he wanted to say something, but then he just sighed and shook his head. "Come on. There are more people over there."

"Righto!" Aang chirped, bouncing along with all his usual energy.

As agreed, Zuko took the lead in doing the actual pimping. Aang chimed in with his own comments, giving lots of thumbs-up and assuring their potential customers that they would be able to enjoy plenty of quality time, spoken italics and all, with the lovely flower girls who graced the brothel. True, he was just quoting Sokka's rambles, but it seemed to do the trick. Guys got really excited whenever the words "pretty girl", "intimate" and "quality time" were put together. It made Aang wonder if he should try a real brothel sometime himself. If what Zuko and Sokka said was true, all the girls were very talented and knew exactly how to please a guy.

"I'd like to experience a brothel," Aang declared.

Zuko choked on his own phlegm. "Aren't you forgetting someone?"

"Who?"

"Gee, I don't know. Maybe your girlfriend."

Aang blinked. "Katara can come too."

Zuko choked again and ended up having a coughing fit. Poor guy. His phlegm was being especially rebellious today. Aang patted the older boy on the back.

"Look, Aang," Zuko said, once he got his coughing under control, "I know the Air Nomads were all into freedom and not being bound to one thing and all that, but Katara will kill you if you go to a brothel."

"What's so bad about a brothel?" Aang asked, eyes wide and earnest. "I mean, the girls are there to please the customers, so I don't see why they can't please both me and Katara if it comes to that."

Zuko's cheeks went a bit red. "I can't believe I'm hearing this from a monk who hasn't even hit puberty properly."

Aang just scrunched his nose in confusion. He really didn't understand what the big deal was. "What has my age got to do with it?"

"Apparently nothing," Zuko muttered. "I think I just discovered I am a prude."

"Huh?"

Zuko leaned forward, peering closely at Aang. "Are you even a virgin?"

Heat flooded Aang's cheeks. "What the heck? W-why are you asking me that? I mean, I'm only thirteen. Sure, I might have thought about doing things with Ka—"

He broke off, realising he was able to reveal his most secret of fantasies. Zuko just nodded his head, no longer looking confused.

"Now it makes sense," the Fire Lord said with satisfaction.

Aang blinked. "Huh?"

"You have no idea what a brothel is, do you?"

"It's a place where men and women can be intimate and enjoy quality time together," Aang quoted, remembering Sokka's description.

Zuko bent down and whispered something in Aang's ear. The airbender's eyes widened, even as pink spread all over his face, right up to the tips of his ears. He let out a small squeak.

"Really?"

Zuko nodded.

Aang swallowed a gulp of air. "I think you're right," he said, still looking a bit pink. "I definitely won't be inviting Katara to a brothel with me."

"No kidding."

Aang furrowed his brow. "Then I guess when Suki kept calling our target that "horny bastard", it wasn't because he likes to wear horns after all."

Zuko face-palmed.