An Ounce of Reality:
It was only as Rachel rubbed her eyes, blinking as she woke, that the events of the previous day washed over her. Eddie. And then she felt the weight of his hand on her side and his breath against the back of her neck - realising that he was cuddling into her. Whilst he slept. Rachel didn't think her smile could get any more heartfelt.
She remembered them both waking up around five for Natasha's feed: Eddie once more giving her the bottle. Rachel knew she would never tire of seeing the baby girl in his arms and the content expression on his face. She knew that he was far from normal or where he wanted to be within himself, but he was doing a remarkable job. And Rachel longed for them to get to a point where Isabelle was with them too, and of course Michael. Eddie deserved that wholeheartedly.
She didn't remember falling asleep in his arms like this, however. They'd shared a genuine smile before nodding off into a haze of sleep. Which was how Rachel knew now that their current position had come about in their sleep.
Memories hit her like a bus as she turned in Eddie's arms. Their relationship was short lived before but Rachel was well aware they'd been the best days of her life. Days were always like that with Eddie.
Only prolonging the reverie she found herself in, Rachel raised a hand, running a thumb over his cheekbone.
She'd felt his skin beneath hers since being reunited - the previous day as they'd held hands or the way their fingers had brushed together on occasions. This seemed different though, and had an entirely different undercurrent. Especially given their confessions of still loving one another the previous day.
Apparently Eddie wasn't in as heavy sleep as she thought he was: his eyes flickered open, taking a moment to register everything but perhaps most importantly - smiling as he focused on her.
"Rachel," he breathed.
Now she was hit with a whole host of other memories. Her first day back after the fire, the way that Eddie had looked up at her with such hope and longing in his eyes before whispering her name. She loved the way he said her name.
Continuing the nostalgia she knew he'd sensed too, Rachel responded, "hi."
It was the way Eddie smiled before stretching upwards to plant a kiss on her forehead that got Rachel. They were both lost. But they couldn't be, not yet. They had far too many pieces to fit back together before they revisited their relationship. No matter how much they both wanted to jump right back in.
Eddie must have sensed the turn her thoughts had taken, giving her a knowing look before stroking her side once more. He sat up, straight away glancing across to Natasha, keeping his eyes on her for several moments.
Even though Rachel wasn't sure if her self control could take it, she found his hand and entwined their fingers - knowing and repeating in her mind that this was for Eddie's comfort.
And he appreciated it, she knew.
"She's done well to sleep from five," he commented, eyes dazzling like they always seemed to whenever he was talking about Rachel or his children.
She hummed an agreement, smiling, "I wasn't expecting that."
She knew that Eddie was on the verge of responding when her phone broke the serene atmosphere. Rachel frowned, wondering if it was Kim but half doubting it after their brief and almost painful conversation the previous day.
Her heart almost lurched as she took in the name flashing on the screen.
Taking in Eddie's look of concern, she mouthed 'It's Melissa,' knowing that she couldn't exactly ignore this call. He seemed to understand that too, offering her as much comfort as he could from his expression - which was a considerable amount, Rachel had realised that long ago.
"Melissa? Everything okay?"
"It would be, if you actually followed what I said to you."
"I'm sorry… what?" Rachel was in sheer disbelief. After everything she'd done for Melissa, was doing for Melissa, she spoke to her in this way.
"Contact me if Eddie gets in touch. That's what I said. I'm only assuming that's where you are. When you haven't been at your house since Saturday morning."
"Why didn't you just ring me? If you wanted to be in touch?"
"If you'd bothered to ring me, like I asked you to, then you'd know that I'm not coping."
Rachel responded to Eddie's concerned look with a smile for now, hoping that she could play down his fears once she'd wrapped up this conversation. Which she hoped, for her own sanity, would be soon.
"How do you mean?"
"With Isabelle. I need you to look after her too."
"Melissa…" she couldn't help the scoff, knowing that this was something she and Eddie would talk about but not wanting to push him too far, and frankly in disbelief at her sister's apparent ungrateful stance.
"Just. Wherever you are, will you just come back? I've got things to do, people to see."
With that, the line went dead, leaving Rachel utterly flabbergasted and marginally speechless.
A soft voice was the thing removing her from her state of mind, "Rach."
Despite everything, she didn't think she'd ever tire of hearing Eddie say her name in that way. Especially when she'd spent three or so months without.
"Melissa. She wants me to take care of Isabelle too."
"Yeah," he nodded, "I heard. I just… the way she spoke to you, Rachel. You should have walked away from her a long time ago."
"She's my little sister, Eddie. No matter what she's done. I don't think I'm capable of turning my back on her."
"I know that," he dared to reach for Rachel's hand, subsequently entwining their fingers when she reacted with a smile, "and it's one of the things that makes you so amazing. How selfless you are. But I also spend a great deal of my time being frustrated by it."
She felt the slight quirk of a smile as it graced her lips, knowing that it was only Eddie who could give her that happiness - no matter the circumstances, "I have gathered that."
They basked in their own atmosphere for several moments until Eddie sobered, his expression shifting slightly more serious, "we will sort this," he paused, looking thoughtful, "are you not due back in work tomorrow?"
Rachel was sure she felt her cheeks flush slightly - realising that he was about to find out how far she'd gone to put him above her job. Eddie would know without question how much that meant, how significant it was.
"Actually, no. I… sort of rang Kim yesterday. Just to let her know that I wouldn't be in until mid week at the earliest."
It was brief but she saw the mixed expression of joy and awe flicker across Eddie's face, "Rach…"
"It's all sorted," she squeezed his hand, "you don't have to worry. It's... something that I wanted to do."
Nothing could have prepared Rachel for his next move as he raised her hand to his lips, emanating a kiss on to her knuckles.
"Thank you," he breathed against her skin.
It took her more than a several moments to recover, to gain her composure, "what about you? I take it you have extended your paternity or…"
"My boss allowed me to extend it, yeah. What with the birth being early. Two weeks left before I'm due back."
She witnessed the flicker of concern upon his expression, knew his mind had turned to work, his state of mind and how he would be coping by the time he had to return.
So Rachel reciprocated his previous action, now raising Eddie's hand to her lips to portray her comfort.
She'd had the thought earlier of how they had far too many circumstances to mend before they dived back into their relationship. But Rachel couldn't help but wonder how long they'd last with the current atmosphere which engulfed them. All she knew was that she was teetering on the edge of no return, and was quite sure that Eddie was there with her.
….
Several hours later found the pair in a nearby coffee shop, Natasha in Rachel's arms as she gulped the remainder of her bottle. The luxury of sitting down with a cup of coffee and a slice of cake seemed to be exactly what they'd needed after Melissa's earlier revelations. They had to talk about it further, Eddie knew, but for a short while longer he was content to continue re-accustoming himself with the joy he felt whenever around Rachel.
Taking a sip of his drink, he smiled around it as their eyes met, "so. Kim."
She blinked, obviously surprised at his wording and line of conversation, "yes, what about her?"
"You contacted her about not being in work," he raised an eyebrow, teasing, "your new deputy not up to the job?"
He watched as she grinned, knowing exactly what he was playing at, "he's not a patch on you, Lawson."
As Rachel spoke the words, her foot brushed his leg under the table. Every part of him was telling him that the action had been entirely purposeful. Despite the light and joking atmosphere, Eddie found himself swallowing the lump in his throat as he recognised her words for what they were - sincerity.
"I know it feels weird for me," he shifted the tone, "not having you as my boss anymore."
She smiled somewhat sadly, sharing that emotion for a moment before the glint in her eyes returned, "who says I'm not still the boss?"
Eddie was sure he almost spluttered on his coffee, "not me," he finally quipped.
He adored the way she giggled, clearly in response to his newfound demeanor.
On top of that though, Eddie sensed the way her thoughts had taken a turn, and he realised he knew where to.
"Maybe we should go back to Rochdale," he tilted his head, grasping Rachel's attention with the way he'd read her thoughts.
"That's not fair on you, Eddie."
His heart soared with how much she cared for him. He'd known that for a long time now - of course, but he certainly wasn't averse to these almost constant reminders.
"Rachel," he leant forwards, ensuring that their eyes met, "everything is different when I'm with you. No… I'm not myself, not entirely. I think it'll take a while to get right back to A1. But with you. Rach… the past few days. The difference in myself, I've noticed it. Perfect isn't the word, but I… I find myself wanting to help out with Natasha. And I'm sure I'll be the same with Isabelle too. Because I've got your support."
He saw the change in her breathing, the way her eyes had glazed over slightly, and knew his words had affected her. Eddie just hoped that was for all the right reasons.
When she'd remained silent for just a fraction too long, he took the opportunity to brush his fingers against hers slightly as she placed Natasha's bottle on the table, snapping her back to the present.
"The feeling is mutual, you know," she practically whispered, glancing down in the process, "why is it, whenever I'm with you, I feel like I can take on the world?"
"I would say something like because we are made for each other. But I think that would be a touch cliche."
"Cliche is your middle name, Mr Lawson."
He beamed, having missed the sound of his name rolling off her tongue, "so tonight, we'll drive back."
"Okay. Only if you're sure."
"I'm positive," Eddie confirmed, "and I suppose that…"
"Eddie, you can stay with me. There's plenty of room. You're their father."
"You're doing remarkably with Natasha."
She raised her eyebrows, rolling her eyes slightly. Oh how he'd missed her facial expressions. Though it seemed he'd missed everything about Rachel.
"Flatterer," she muttered, confirming his previous thought.