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You Should Have Told Me
"I'm guessing he's with you then?" Melissa snarled, the image of her sister standing on her doorstep making Rachel's stomach churn uncomfortably.
She found herself revisiting Eddie's words from the previous day, about how Melissa didn't deserve her, had no right to speak to her the way she did. Rachel couldn't help but agree, even more so now that Melissa was here in the flesh - expression perturbed and tone spiteful.
"Melissa, Eddie does have a right to be here. Natasha and Isabelle are his children."
"Oh," Melissa laughed in disbelief, sarcasm evident, "he's their father now is he? Maybe you could have been around to tell him that when he buggered off… hm? Just two days ago now."
Rachel allowed her eyes to roll shut, biting her bottom lip just to prevent herself from simply striking a hand across her sister's cheek. It's not like she wouldn't deserve it. She dreaded to think of Eddie in the living room with his two sleeping daughters, listening to this argument and doubting himself all over again. The last thing Rachel wanted to do was set him back when he'd taken so many steps forward in such a short space of time.
So all she could do to dilute that impact, was step forward - limiting the space between her and Melissa to just inches, "maybe if you hadn't had your head buried in the sand, you would have noticed that Eddie wasn't coping. Now I suggest that you lower your voice, or alternatively - leave us in peace."
She scoffed, stepping back to look Rachel up and down, "us. One big happy family are we Rach? Just what you've always wanted," her upper body leant forwards, "just bet you didn't expect the children of the man you love to be your sister's children too?"
Rachel gulped, hating that her sister had gotten the last word but unsure if she was actually capable of speaking in that moment. The door slammed but Rachel was oblivious to it. She despised what those few words had done to her. The past day or so had been truly wonderful, simply relishing in the feelings that came with being by Eddie's side once more. Yet now, the doubts were setting in again. All because of Melissa. Rachel just had to hope that she wouldn't push him away again. That was the last thing the pair of them needed. Because he needed her just as much as she needed him.
….
Eddie didn't have to put two and two together to guess that something was on Rachel's mind. And it seemed that something was more likely to be related to Melissa than not.
He'd heard the way the younger sibling had spoken to Rachel earlier - had to bite down on his tongue and dig his palms into his thighs just to stop himself from making an appearance.
His daughters had been the calm to his internal storm at that moment. As much as Eddie was feeling awfully nervous about having them both under his care again, he knew that Rachel would be by his side. That and the beautiful image of Natasha and Isabelle before his eyes was enough to keep Eddie smiling.
He just wished that Rachel would open up to him again - that she had done freely during their previous time together. But that would come, Eddie told himself. The last thing he was going to do was push her too far. Not this time.
Realising that she was likely to be sorting through paperwork at the table, he grabbed the baby monitor, making his way towards her.
Yet it was Rachel's demeanour that stopped Eddie in his tracks - he hovered by the door frame with her just a metre away: head deep in hands.
Over the tops of her slumped shoulders he could see some form of an email, and silently wondered if that had something to do with her current state.
Eddie made a move towards her, brushing both hands across the tips of Rachel's shoulders as he met her vicinity. The movement caused her to jump almost violently, subsequently slamming the lid of the laptop down.
Eddie supposed that reaction answered his previous question.
That and the smile Rachel plastered across her lips as she turned, glancing up at him, "everything alright?"
He felt quite out of place all of a sudden: knowing that he was itching to get to the bottom of Rachel's worries but wary of pushing her over the edge. Eddie was sure she'd be able to see the conflict in his eyes.
"Think it's me who should be asking you that question."
"I'm fine, Eddie," she responded just a fraction too quickly. Just enough for him to recognise the façade she'd manifested.
"Yeah," he spoke softly, light heartedly, placing the baby monitor on the table as he lowered himself into a chair, "and where have I heard that one before?"
He didn't expect the silence which followed to be as suffocating as it was. Especially with the expression developing upon Rachel's face. She looked utterly dejected, with just an edge of something that Eddie knew all too well. She was fighting back the tears, willing them not to fall.
"Hey," he shuffled himself closer, reaching for Rachel's hand and feeling somewhat relieved when she didn't flinch or pull away. This was a good enough start, "what's happened?"
"Eddie, you - ''
"Don't need your problems on top of mine?" He paused just for a moment to see Rachel's reaction, realised he had hit the nail on the head when pondering on his latter thought the previous day, "well that's not true. I care about you, Rachel. When are you going to get it into that head of yours?"
That provoked a small smirk from her at least, with Eddie overly glad that he could still elicit a form of happiness from Rachel.
"I know you do. But Eddie, you have to realise that I care about you too. And I really don't think…"
"Rachel," he'd lowered his tone now so that it was almost inaudible, "talk to me."
So she did. Lifting up her laptop lid with a shaky hand, Rachel gestured towards it.
"Max Tyler. Waterloo Road's very own executive head teacher. He's been located there a while now, ever since the merger began at the beginning of term. He's actually… supposed to be in charge of multiple schools. Yet he seems to have made a beeline for Waterloo Road. Or shall we say, me."
The frown set in Eddie's features said it all, she thought, "and why would he have a problem with you?"
Rachel quirked an eyebrow, "you're biased."
"Biased or not, you're a great headteacher, Rachel. Anyone should be able to see that. Even if they've got their head up their… backside like this Max bloke seems to."
She couldn't ignore the way something lit up within her at Eddie's words. And Rachel couldn't deny how amazing it was to hear those words of encouragement and reassurance from someone after months of hindering from Max.
"What's this email all about then?" he spoke again, breaking the silence which had formed.
"The other night? When I rang Kim. Well…" Rachel couldn't help but laugh at the hideousness of it all, "she and Max are seeing one another. And the latter just happened to be paying the former a visit during our little phone call. So now, I have Max breathing down my neck about how as the headteacher of Waterloo Road, I should put the pupils' needs first. Rather than swanning about like some 'wannabe' leader."
The anger could practically be felt seeping from Eddie. He just hoped he never came across this Max character, it was almost certain that he wouldn't be able to refrain from giving him what for. Not to mention handing a few choice words Kim's way too. He couldn't help but feel betrayed on Rachel's part.
"I wish you'd told me before now," Eddie sighed, and she could see the incompatible guilt settling upon his shoulders. This was exactly what Rachel had been wanting to avoid. Exactly why she hadn't told all about Max following on from her phone call with Kim.
"I didn't want you worrying about me Eddie," she'd taken her hand away from his now, running it through her hair in an attempt to shift the somewhat suffocating atmosphere, "that's the last thing you need."
"No," he spoke, firmer now, and Rachel would have been blind to disregard the way her body flinched at his tone, "you should have told me."
"Maybe," she felt oddly timid as the word rolled off her tongue, "but this is exactly why I didn't," Rachel paused, hoping for Eddie to put two and two together. Yet he didn't, and she had no choice but to sigh and expand, "you feel guilty, don't you? As if you should have been here for me throughout all this."
"And I should have been! But instead, we've spent months apart, suffering without each other."
There were two ways this conversation could pan out, Rachel knew. Either she listened to her heart - the thing that was telling her that none of this mattered now, that the pair of them were together and willing to put all their past mistakes right, or… or she went with her head. Her mind that was currently screaming how foolish she'd been. How foolish Rachel had been to push Eddie away twice. And how they couldn't possibly move on from that. Not to mention Melissa's words still ringing in her mind. She wasn't sure how she could ever stop blaming herself.
Only, something that she had apparently just realised was that by following her head, she was furthering that theme of pushing away the sole person she truly trusts. With that, Rachel's heart lurched.
Her hand found Eddie's cheek: a thumb stroking across his jawline ever so lightly.
The touch was beautiful and stole his breath away all in one, and hardly what he'd been expecting. Despite being reunited physically the previous night, this was something that set Eddie alight. He was powerless to stop his lips as they magnetised towards Rachel's palm.
No, the words hadn't been spoken as such. But Eddie knew Rachel well enough to know that she'd let him in for good now. It was unlikely that her head would be getting in the way of her heart again.