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My Kind of Love

Rachel knew that she had already gotten used to having Eddie in the bed beside her again - especially when she woke up briefly, stretching a hand out to where he lay only to be met with relatively cool sheets.

It was instant, the way her eyes shot open. The room was pitch black, allowing Rachel enough to comprehend that it was an abnormal time to be up and about. Her racing mind was soon brought to a standstill as she turned to see Eddie facing in the direction of the window, head turned with a watchful gaze over Natasha and Isabelle. She had to wonder how long he'd been standing there for.

It said a lot, Rachel thought, that she could tell Eddie was far from relaxed, simply from the way in which he was holding himself. That was the reason she swung her legs out of bed, making a move towards him and wrapping her arms around his waist from behind without a second thought.

She hoped it brought him as much comfort as it did her with her forehead resting between his shoulder blades. This was only extended when she felt his hands slide over hers, the warmth of his skin on hers.

It was clear that he wasn't, but Rachel had to ask the question - hoping that Eddie would bear all to her as she'd done the previous day, "are you okay?"

He sighed deeply, an odd mixture of contentment as a result of Rachel's presence and despair due to the way his mind was spiralling, "I thought I'd turned a corner."

Her brow furrowed, stroking a hand across his arm, ready to dispute his defeated tone. Rachel thought that Eddie had been doing remarkably: was still doing remarkably. Especially given the way Melissa had practically forced him to be thrown in at the deep end.

She brushed her palms across his arms, bringing them to rest on his shoulders - ultimately encouraging Eddie to turn so that she could watch his facial expressions play out, "how do you mean?" Rachel whispered once he'd done just that.

"What I said the other day, it's true. I've been feeling stronger these past few days with you than I'd have even thought possible this time last week. Feeding the girls… dressing them. None of that was really possible before without thoughts about me causing damage to them… or. Anyway, I supposed," he stopped, taking a deep breath and some encouragement from the tenderness with which Rachel was gazing up at him, "I supposed that with that… the images of Stephen as I tried to sleep would stop. And the nightmares, me replaying everything in my mind. If there's anything I did wrong. But they haven't, not really."

Rachel was somewhat lost for words, choosing a moment to compose herself as she brought a hand up to Eddie's cheek, stroking a thumb over it as she swallowed the lump which had formed in her throat.

"In time… they will. And I know that's of little comfort in the here and now, but Eddie… just think about how far you've come. How much progress you've made in such a short space of time. I bet as you were writing that letter to me, you wouldn't have dreamt for a second that just days later, Isabelle and Natasha would be back in your care. You're doing an amazing job at picking yourself back up. Not to mention being a father to those wonderful girls. And in the meantime… if you have a nightmare, or if you find yourself struggling to drift off," Rachel drew her other hand up now, cupping his face with both of her hands, "then please... Just let me know. I want to be able to help you in every way possible."

Rachel didn't know what it was that she'd been anticipating, but it wasn't the way Eddie's chin tilted forwards, his lips settling upon hers to give her the most compassionate kiss to date. He lingered there, just long enough to mumble those three words he felt with all his heart, "I love you."

Eddie gave her little time to respond before his arms had wound around her, wrapping her securely in his embrace. She buried her head into his shoulder, planting a kiss on the side of his neck, "I love you too."

….

It was that confidence which Rachel had planted within him that gave Eddie that little bit of extra belief in himself the following day. She was right, he knew - despite the nightmares, the flashbacks: he had come an incredibly long way. And he wasn't about to let those few things hold him back now.

That was why, with some reassuring words from Rachel, he'd phoned Alison, simply asking if he could possibly see Michael at some point soon. Eddie had confided in her slightly more than Melissa - having that shared heartache over Stephen was his reasoning behind that. Which was why she could comprehend the slight absence of Eddie in Michael's life, why she now seemed overly glad that he was prepared to play a part once more.

"Daddy!" Eddie couldn't deny that the cheerful tone of his son's voice as the door swung open was exactly what he'd needed to hear. It was clear from the way that the little boy ran at him, swiftly wrapping his arms around his legs that he'd missed Eddie just as much as Eddie had missed him.

He glanced across at Rachel briefly, taking in her expression which was brimming with pride and delight. Eddie smiled - conveying his thanks and love all wrapped up in one. He didn't think he would have gotten to this point for a long time if it wasn't for her.

Eddie turned to Alison with that very thought spinning around his mind, knowing that she had probably seen the way he and Rachel had just looked at one another. That was evident from the smile upon her face.

"You two are back together then?" She came out with.

It was where Eddie hesitated - Rachel too. Where they were quite obviously in some form of relationship again, still loved each other wholeheartedly: they hadn't quite discussed where they stood. Not properly. So much so that Eddie almost thought he'd be experiencing déjà vu with the English or American discussion. Not that he'd be complaining - not if it led to Rachel holding his hand as she'd done that day. Eddie would never forget how fulfilled he'd felt in that moment. Him and Rachel, strolling through the playground - holding hands like a pair of teenagers.

To his surprise, it was the woman who always seemed to be at the forefront of Eddie's mind who broke his reverie.

"I suppose you could call it that," Rachel grinned, seemingly all too aware of the effect this comment had on Eddie as she nudged him lightly. He knew this was something they'd be speaking about later.

"Good," Alison nodded her head, "you've always been right for eachother," there was a pause as all three adults shared a smile, both Eddie and Rachel wanting nothing more than to tell one another how much they agreed with Alison's comment.

"Well," the latter continued, "I'll let you two get on. Bye bye, Michael."

The boy gave his customary reply, smiling toothily as he waved goodbye to his mum.

"Rachel?" Michael turned to her once they'd said their goodbyes to Alison, a big smile on his face. Eddie was taken back to how well his son and Rachel had gotten on previously. It will have been more than four months since they'd last seen one another.

"Hello Michael. Would you like to come and see your sisters? I think they're just waking up."

Sure enough, Natasha's and then shortly after Isabelle's cries were heard. Eddie and Rachel exchanged a smile, both thinking of how much they'd have to juggle in the next day or so, but equally knowing they wouldn't change anything for the world.