The soft rapping at the door almost made me cry out in relief.

Peter propped himself up on his elbows, his cheeks flushed and lips swollen. He tilted his head, not entirely sure if he had heard it. I put my hands on his chest and tried to catch my breath, not daring to move. When the second set of knocking rang out louder, Peter rolled his eyes and growled in frustration.

"What?" He shouted, pulling the blankets over our bodies to obscure the view, but he didn't move from his place between my legs.

Sasha peeked around the door after only opening it a fraction. When she saw us, her eyes widened and she ducked her head. Her cheeks flushed. "Excuse me, Your Majesties. Dinner is ready."

Peter closed his eyes and sighed, his annoyance evident to me in the way the muscles in his shoulders tensed. When he looked down at me, I tried to give him a reassuring smile.

"Looks like we'll have to finish this later," he murmured before kissing me one last time.

I nodded, and he rolled off of me, quickly pulling on his trousers and tunic.

While he pulled on his jacket and adjusted the collar and cuffs, he ordered Sasha to help me freshen up. She nodded her understanding and stepped into the room, her eyes still cast downward.

"Wear something comfortable, Sweetheart," he said to me as I pushed myself up on my elbows, his eyes raking over me. Thankfully, the blanket covered me fully and the only naked part of me that he could see was my shoulders and my arms. "It's going to be a long night of celebration."

"Yes, Peter," I replied and he gave me a lustful grin.

When the door clicked shut behind him, I collapsed onto the bed, my eyes locked on the ceiling above. I could still feel the weight of his body on mine, could feel how close he was to claiming me as his own.

"Princess?" Sasha asked, her voice as small as I felt.

I forced myself to sit up, holding the blanket around me. "Get me a gown, please."

She didn't move right away, and when I looked up at her, I found her watching me carefully, her brows furrowed as she wrung her hands together.

"What?" I snapped. The dam of emotions I was trying so hard to keep in place was starting to fall apart.

She raised her eyes to meet mine, but she couldn't hold my gaze long. "I know it's none of my business, but… did he…?"

"No," I said, shaking my head. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, still holding the blanket close to my body. "But you're right. It's none of your business what your king does with me in our bedchamber."

The moment the words left my lips, I regretted them. I felt myself deflate, curling in on myself as tears started to stream down my cheeks. Like a wave that crashed against the cliffs on the north side of the island, all of my emotions crashed into me. I covered my eyes with my hands and sobbed.

Despite being nasty towards her, Sasha walked over to the bed and sat down next to me. Timidly, she wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me into her, which only made me cry harder, sobs ripping through my body.

Gently, she shushed me, telling me over and over that I was okay. I'm not sure how long we stayed that way, but she didn't stop even when my sobs had turned to hiccups.

"You are my princess," she said, embracing me and squeezing me tight, "but he is not my king. So, if he is doing things to mistreat you and disrespect you, I will always take your side."

I lifted my head to meet her eyes, and the sincerity there almost brought on another wave of tears. She gave me a small smile, and I returned it before wiping my tears on the back of my arm.

"I should get dressed," I said, and Sasha nodded before making her way to my wardrobe and pulling out a gown that would be more comfortable to wear. It was a deep blue that reminded me of the night sky. I had only worn it once at a dinner party, but I distinctly remember asking my seamstress to use the material more often since it was both soft and breathable but was still able to make me look elegant.

Once I was dressed, Sasha brushed out my hair, leaving it completely down, and I washed my face with a cold cloth. It helped bring down the swelling in my eyes brought on by my crying and helped wash away some of the shame I felt.

"Would you like me to escort you to the dining hall?" Sasha asked me while I finished adjusting my hair and the long sleeves of my dress.

I shook my head. "No need. I know the way."

"I'll take my leave then," she replied with a curtsy.

Before she shut the door behind her, I said her name. She paused, looking back over her shoulder at me. "Thank you," I said with a nod of my head. "For everything."

She smiled. "You're welcome, Your Majesty."

The door clicked shut, and I was left to study myself in the mirror, building up the courage to face Peter and the Lost Boys as they prepared for the biggest game of Hide and Seek any of us had ever seen.

###

If there was one thing that Peter and the Lost Boys knew what to do, it was drain a wine cellar and pantry.

When I walked into the dining hall, I noticed a small group of servants rolling in barrel after barrel of wine and ale, leaving them lined up against one wall. The oldest Lost Boys and Peter sat around a table that was practically overflowing with food. Slabs of beef, cutlets of chicken, and a variety of other meats were piled on platters. Steam rose off of them, filling the hall with a variety of aromas as the different spices mingled in the air. Other plates were filled with bread and cheese, and bowls were filled with fresh fruits.

I tried to imagine what the cooks had made for dessert. If dinner was any indication, the boys would be complaining of gut aches by the time the night was over.

When the door to the dining hall shut behind me, a few of the Lost Boys turned to look at me, but many of them turned back to their plates and goblets of ale and sweet wine. Peter was in the middle of a chugging contest with Lester and Benj, and when they all slammed their goblets down, rivulets of red running out of the corner of their mouths, Benj's eyes were the ones who found me first.

He wiped his mouth on the back of his sleeve and arched an eyebrow at me as if to ask if I was going to join them.

I did, but I could already feel every sound beginning to grind on my nerves. Every sharp pitch of laughter put my teeth on edge. Every scrape and grate of silverware that the boys didn't know how to use tightened the muscles in my neck and shoulders.

I felt a scream rising in my throat, my scalp screaming for me to yank on it until there was no hair left.

"Here," Benj said, and he held out a goblet of wine to me, the sweet aroma fluttering up as the red liquid swished. "You look like you need it."

Peter scoffed as a servant girl refilled his empty goblet. "That's what happens when we're interrupted! Isn't that right, Sweetheart?" He waved off the servant girl and reached out to pinch my chin in between his thumb and first finger. "I could have worked out all of this tension," he practically purred as he ran his hand down my arm, his eyes still as full of lust as he had been before Sasha had interrupted and saved me.

Benj's eyes bore into the side of my face, but I ignored him. Instead, I took the goblet from Benj's hands, tilted my head back, and guzzled down the wine in four large gulps.

I slammed the goblet down, and Benj and Peter's eyebrows shot up in surprise. Lester narrowed his eyes at me in disgust. Even when I was acting like a proper lost girl, he couldn't stand me.

Peter nodded in approval.

But Benj couldn't hide his concern as he arched a questioning brow at me. I mimicked him, arching a brow high as I reached over, grabbed Peter's refilled goblet, and chugged that, too.

Peter chuckled. "Goodness, Sweetheart, if I had known you were going to be drinking like that, I would have emptied out the cellar."

"Better empty it then," I replied, not looking at him. Instead, I reached over and took Benj's goblet, but he didn't let go right away.

"You should probably slow down." Benj's voice was low in my ear.

I scoffed and tugged the goblet from his hand, some of its contents spilling onto his trousers. I shrugged. "Oops."

Peter's chuckling turned to outright laughter, the sound like honey dripping over everything. He shook his head and leaned back in his chair, raising an empty goblet in a toast. "Looks like she's setting the pace tonight, Benjy Boy. Salud!"

I held up Benj's empty goblet, the wine already settling like a warm blanket in my belly, making my mind foggy. "Salud!"

###

One by one, the Lost Boys began to taper off. One minute, they'd be throwing back another drink, and the next, they were passed out with their faces in their plates or leaning back in their seats with their heads lolling from side to side as they tried to get comfortable.

I had slowed down considerably after the first three goblets of wine, but that didn't deter Peter from drinking at the pace I had set earlier. Benj's powder wouldn't be needed that night. He would pass out completely on his own eventually.

And as the night drug on even longer, he did, his head resting on his arms as he snored softly. Every once in a while, his lip would twitch or he would mumble something, then he'd go quiet again.

Everyone else was sleeping.

Except me.

Benj had gotten up about an hour ago and said he was going to fetch some more ale, that wine wasn't really his style, but he had yet to return. I assumed he passed out somewhere.

So I was left alone, very drunk, and very hungry. I had been munching on slice after slice of bread and chocolate croissant after chocolate croissant. Every once in a while, I'd take a bite of meat, but it had long stopped steaming and had started to turn chewy. The fruit was better, but there was something about the bread that hit the spot.

The hall was quiet except for the crackling fire of the torches and the breathing and snores of the Lost Boys, and as I looked over the lot of them, I realized how vulnerable they were.

A knife sat to the left of my plate.

Many of them had so much blood magic coursing through their veins that trying to kill them would be futile, Peter included, but I couldn't help but wonder how many I could kill before they stopped me or killed me themselves.

I stopped mid chew, the taste of acid filling my mouth, and before I could find a proper spot, I leaned over to my right and emptied my stomach.

When my stomach was finally emptied and my head was thoroughly spinning, I peeked up to see that no one had budged. Thankfully, that meant that no one had seen or heard the spectacle of me emptying my stomach all over the floor of the dining hall. I cringed at the thought of the servants having to clean up the mess, and I promised to pay them back somehow.

With all the wine in my system and having just been sick, the room felt too warm, and I craved fresh air. Unsteadily, I rose to my feet and held on to the table. The room tilted dangerously when I stood, but after clenching my eyes shut and taking slow, deep breaths, it eventually evened out enough for me to begin to make my way towards the hall doors.

Progress was slow, but I didn't stop and, eventually, I found myself wrapped in the crisp, late-night air.

I was grateful for the long sleeves of my gown while I walked, a slight breeze making the tips of my fingers and my nose tingle.

The silence settled over me like a blanket, and I could feel the muscles in my neck and shoulders finally beginning to loosen. I took a deep breath, the cool air filling my lungs and tickling my throat. My head spun with a mixture of wine and the fresh air, and I relished in it, feeling free for the first time in days.

The grounds were empty, and I thought about where I should go. I settled on the castle garden, longing to sit in the gazebo.

When the gazebo came into sight, however, I saw that I was not the only one who had the same idea in mind.

I stepped into the gazebo, arching a brow at Benj. "I thought you were going to find some ale?"

Benj held up a bottle full of an amber liquid. "Found something even better," he replied and offered it to me.

I could smell the spice before it reached my lips, but I still wasn't prepared for the fire it lit in my throat as I took a swig. My stomach lurched, and I prayed not to be sick again. When the feeling passed, I pushed the bottle back into Benj's hand and made a face, causing him to chuckle.

"Not a fan of rum?" He asked.

I shook my head. "Not even a little bit. I'll stick to wine."

Benj chuckled and patted the seat next to him. I sat, one side of my body completely pressed against his. It was far too close, far too inappropriate, but it was cold, and his body radiated the warmth that I needed.

We sat in silence for a few moments before Benj asked me about the other Lost Boys back in the dining hall. "I'm assuming they finally had enough?"

I nodded, and he seemed to relax even more, his body shifting even farther into mine.

"It's hard to keep up with them sometimes," he said, his voice quiet despite it only being him and I. He took a swig of whiskey, swallowed, and cringed, shaking the burning feeling away. "It makes me feel old."

I turned to him and cocked my head. "You hardly look a day over 18 summers."

"I've been 18 summers for a long, long time," he replied, meeting my gaze. Sitting the way we were, our noses were almost touching, and I could see the sadness in his eyes, along with the reflection of the moon. "And I'll be 18 for many years to come."

I could tell that his words weighed heavily on him. They sounded as though they were threatening to suffocate him. This time, when he lifted the bottle to take a swig of the amber whiskey, I reached out and pulled it away. Benj didn't resist, just watched me as I dumped the rest of the whiskey onto the wood of the gazebo. It would probably stain, but I didn't care.

The silence was heavier this time, and I found myself opening my mouth to break it several times only to shut it. Nothing I could say seemed like enough to comfort him. Finally, I settled on, "You're not like them."

Benj let out a hmph. "I'm exactly like them."

"No," I insisted, shaking my head, and I turned his face towards me. "You're not. Maybe you were in the beginning, but you aren't now. You're different. You're better than them."

His hand came up to rest over mine, his fingers wrapping around mine and holding me there. He searched my face for a long time, and I wondered if he thought I was lying.

Then, slowly, he leaned in.

And kissed me.

Gently, softly, his lips settling against mine like he wasn't sure.

I'm not sure if it was the wine or the perfect quiet of the garden or something else, but I didn't pull away, which made Benj lean in more, his other arm sliding around my waist and pulling me closer to him. My other hand came to rest on his chest and curl into the front of his tunic.

Where Peter was hungry, Benj was sweet. Where Peter was fast, Benj was slow. What Peter wasn't, Benj was.

I didn't feel scared. I only felt safe.

I hadn't felt safe in a very long time.

Benj rested his forehead against mine and played with a strand of my hair. "I've wanted to do that for a very long time."

His confession caught me off guard, but I didn't say anything. Thankfully, he seemed to understand and didn't push. I wasn't entirely sure how I felt about Benj, but I did know that, in that moment, kissing him was the most amazing thing in the world. There was no pressure, no expectation. Just enjoying each other.

I played with the front of his tunic nervously. "If Peter knew—"

"He'd kill us both," he finished for me without hesitation. He kissed me again. "Which is why he can't ever know."

I nodded, and we settled back into silence, one of Benj's arms around my waist and my head on his shoulder.

We sat that way for a long time, long enough that my fingers were tingling from the cold and my nose was beginning to run, but still, we didn't move.

Eventually, I admitted that I was worried about the game of Hide and Seek.

"Which part?" Benj asked, then he turned to kiss the top of my head.

"All of it," I admitted. I told him how I worried about the boys of Mystasia and their ability to actually succeed in the game. "How are they supposed to win? There's no way they can hide successfully through the night. And there's no way they can withstand whatever punishment Peter has in store for them." The more I spoke, the more my heart raced, anxiety threatening to take over as I thought of the croc and all the fearful faces of the young boys as they were led to their end. "And the croc—"

Benj pulled me tighter against him. "Don't you worry about the boys. I'm going to help as many as I can."

I shook my head. "You can't save all of them."

He didn't argue. It would look too suspicious if all of the boys of Mystasia outsmarted Peter and the Lost Boys. It would be obvious that someone had cheated, and Peter couldn't stand cheaters, especially when it came to Hide and Seek.

"You can't save all of them either, Holly," he said quietly, and I felt tears well in my eyes and my throat tighten. "No matter how hard you try, you can't save them all. None of us can. But," he tilted my chin up so I could look at him, "there are so many people who are willing to help us."

I shook my head, a few of the tears falling free. "If the people of Mystasia help, Peter will have them killed."

The corner of Benj's lips turned up at the corners, giving me the shyest hint of a smile. "I'm not talking about the people of Mystasia, Holly."

I pulled back, confused. "Then who do you mean?"

But Benj was already shaking his head. "Don't worry," he whispered, pulling me in for another kiss. I let him. "You'll see soon enough."