CHAPTER 7

"Kurt! Seriously, it's AWFUL. I will NOT wear it, especially on stage. I NEED your help…I'm begging you!" Rachel whined and sobbed into the phone.

"Rach, really, can it be that bad?" Kurt asked.

"Oh you have NO idea. I don't know who the hell does alterations around here, but this is the LAST time I let them touch anything that goes on THIS body, and that's for certain!"

"Ok, calm down, can you bring it home?"

"I'm not even asking, I'm just dragging this….this….MESS home with me. Please, Kurt….please DO SOMETHING with it for me?" she begged.

"Ok, you know I will, what else have I got to do? " he sulked.

"Don't start that whiny, pouting stuff. That's for me only, and you know it. You'll find a job soon, and you'll be in 7th heaven."

"I know, Rach…..I'll find something, but until then, I feel like such a freeloader staying here in your apartment. You really should let me pay SOME rent? Please? It would make me feel so much better." Kurt asked.

"Kurt, we've discussed this. Until you find a job and get on your feet, you're staying with me and Finn and that's that. No rent. HOW can I possibly charge you rent when you're sleeping on the sofa for crying out loud?!"

"Well, because it's YOUR sofa and I'm taking up space. At least let me do something…." He began.

"Ok, you can grab some groceries, how's that? Fair enough? Considering you've cooked every single thing we have in the apartment, you clean all the time, you've done all of the laundry and you pick up after me like I'm a child…..I guess buying groceries is the very least I can let you do" she said, and he could tell she was grinning into the phone in her crazy Rachel way.

"Your wish is my command, my lady. What shall I prepare for tonight's dinner, then?"

"Kurt, enough with the crazy accent you nutjob!" she squealed.

"Ok, I'll surprise you, then"

"As you wish, kind sir" she replied.

"Ok, seriously, what time will you be home? I don't want to cook all day and have you come home late and it'll be disgusting or something".

"6:30 I'm off…..no later."

"Is Finn working tonight?"

"Yeah, as usual. We'll have to head to the bar to watch the guys play when you're ready….if you're up for it?"

"I don't….I can't….Rach…..so many people…."

"Ok, don't freak out, calm down. We'll work up to it! I'm gonna run, they're calling for me. "

"I'll see you before 7 pm then, don't be late! And Rach?"

"Yeah, Kurt?"

"Thank you. I know I've said it a million times, but…really, just….thank you. I don't think words can accurately describe the hell that I've lived in for the past year. Being here, away from everyone, yet in the middle of everyone has really helped." Kurt said quietly.

"Oh Kurt…..you're so welcome. You know that! I am devastated by what went on, and I still wish you'd tell me all of it, but I'll wait until you're ready. I can't have a repeat of last week. I'll be honest, that totally freaked me out!"

"Ok, babe" Kurt said, cutting her off in order to avoid going into the conversation again. "I'll see you around 7 or so, dinner at the ready!" Kurt said, a little too chipper for Rachel's liking. He was still hiding his hurt and pain.

"I love you babe….. Later, Kurt"

Kurt headed out to the little grocery store down the block to get food for dinner and maybe some for tomorrow night as well. There was a woman with two children exiting the store as he walked up to the door, and one of the children accidently brushed against him. Kurt sucked in his breath and froze on the spot, unable to even step inside the store. He made himself focus solely on the clock on the back wall of the store, taking even breaths and closing his eyes momentarily.

"Breathe, Kurt. People are going to brush into you. This is New York City, it's crowded and everyone is in a hurry. They're going to touch you in some way. They are not going to grab you, hurt you, or molest you" he murmured to himself.

He was finally able to get his feet to shuffle forward and he entered the store. The clerk that had been ringing up groceries gave him an uneasy glance and went back to shoving items down the moving belt. The young girl that was bagging items gave him a shy, weak smile and blushed a little. He knew she'd seen the whole thing and it embarrassed him. He HAD to get over this. He couldn't go on living his life afraid that some random man would bump into him and he'd finally snap and lose it in a public place.

This was Jackson's fault. It was ALL his fault. Kurt had been totally carefree and at ease with himself and his life after high school. He hadn't dated much, but being from a small town in Ohio…well, his choices were severely limited, and he was quite picky on top of that. Jackson had seemed like such a great guy when they'd first met. They had so much in common and Kurt thanked his lucky stars that he'd found him. They dated for two months, living in contented bliss, when things began to change. Suddenly, Jackson didn't want him going out with his friends unless he was also going. If he wasn't able to go along because of work, he would be awful to Kurt when he came home. After a while, even when he was invited along, he would sulk and be distant and sometimes almost rude to Kurt's friends. Kurt began making plans to go out on days that he knew Jackson was working to avoid the uncomfortable times together with his friends. Obviously, he did this without telling Jackson.

This worked for a time, but not long after, Jackson started refusing to let Kurt go out anywhere without him, citing that there were just too many homophobes in Ohio and that it just wasn't safe for him to go. Kurt argued that he would live his life and do as he please and he wasn't going to let closed minded individuals dictate what he did or where he went any longer. Burt agreed, and Kurt continued to make plans with Mercedes, Rachel and Quinn. Even Santana came along to party with them now and then. Unfortunately, Jackson wasn't having any part of it, and the second time Kurt had made plans when he knew Jackson was working, he'd been met outside the theater where he'd spent the evening with the girls and hauled off unceremoniously by a raving mad Jackson. It had been a particularly nasty fight, ending in Jack hitting him so hard across the face that Kurt was just numb from the pain and surprise. Clearly the relationship was going nowhere and Kurt wanted out. He told Jackson as much, and was met with yet another display of his anger and aggression.

He locked himself in his apartment and refused to take Jack's calls, respond to his texts or open the door when he came by. One night Jack nearly broke the door down in a drunken stupor and the police had to be called. Kurt was not only embarrassed about the ruckus in front of his neighbors, he was terrified and immediately got a restraining order against Jackson. The numerous angry texts and phone messages spurred the process.

He tried to go on with life as normally as he could, but Jackson remained a dark spot on his horizon. The calls and texts didn't stop, so Kurt ended up blocking him, which only infuriated him more. He began texting and calling Kurt's friends, saying horrible, terrible things about them, about Kurt, about his plans to get even. Kurt was terrified.

"Sir, do you need a cart?" said the cute girl bagging groceries, shaking him out of his meandering mind.

"No….no I'm….just a basket for now.." Kurt said, shaking his head and smiling at her. He grabbed a basket and headed for the produce aisle for the ingredients he knew he'd need for dinner tonight…..and probably tomorrow as well.

"Pull yourself together, Kurt." He whispered to himself, earning a comforting smile and a grin from an elderly lady next to him choosing mangoes and lettuce.