A thousand thoughts were racing through Mutsuki's mind as she reached for the dorm she shared with Fubuki and Yuudachi. She wanted to speak with Fubuki alone, but what if Yuudachi was there? What would she say? What could Mutsuki say to her? Did she want to involve Yuudachi, or was this something that she only trusted Fubuki with? Would either of them understand?
But another part of Mutsuki's mind told her to trust her friends. That they would understand, that they'd be there for Mutsuki and support her. Each of them entrusted their life to the other, to back them up, to protect them. They'd be with her no matter what.
But there was always that nagging doubt... That lingering unease that they wouldn't understand. Mutsuki knew this doubt wasn't to be taken seriously. It was to be acknowledged and then ignored, and she wouldn't let it stop her from confronting her troubles.
Mutsuki exhaled, pushed the door open, and stepped in. Fubuki was there, alone, and a small wave of relief swept through Mutsuki. She smiled at Fubuki, who smiled back and set down the book she was reading. "Hi Mutsuki-chan. Did you just get back?" Fubuki asked.
Mutsuki nodded. "Mmm, yeah. I came straight here. I...want to talk" Mutsuki said, and Fubuki turned her full attention to her. Mutsuki walked over to the table and sat down next to Fubuki, who waited patiently, her smile encouraging Mutsuki. Just tell her everything Mutsuki thought.
"I...used to be a volunteer, Fubuki-chan. You probably knew that already, nya. What I had marks for isn't important, but...who I served was. I loved helping the futas, I loved tending to them, hearing their sounds and watching their faces as we...made love. The little differences between each girl made every tryst exciting. Yuudachi-chan's a little thicker than Ayanami, but Ayanami's a little longer, that sort of thing" Mutsuki started. "It was fun, I really loved it. Helping the futas made me so happy."
Mutsuki paused a moment before continuing, swallowing the lump in her throat, her eyes finding the table more interesting than Fubuki. "After Kisaragi, though, I... When she... I resigned. What Kisaragi-chan and I had was special. It was more than just sex, it... There was a bond" Mutsuki said, the tears coming. Mutsuki blinked to wick them away and continued.
"With Kisaragi gone I...didn't want to help anymore. I didn't think there'd ever be anyone else like her. None of the other futas could fill the void. I'd...lie with them and wouldn't feel anything, and I kept routinely turning down every futa girl who approached me. I couldn't fulfill my duties as a volunteer, so I handed my marked uniform in to the commander and he struck me from the volunteer registry, and I felt so empty."
Mutsuki stopped, her voice hitching in her throat. She swallowed the lump and found the courage to keep going.
"And then there was you. You, the new arrival, the special-type. Other girls in your class were already here, of course, but it's different meeting a nameship, and getting to know her. I helped you train, helped you learn, and in turn you helped me accept Kisaragi's...passing. No one could ever replace Kisaragi, but you... You're strong, you're a hard worker, and you never let yourself accept defeat or get down from a loss. When I watched you at the onahole that day, it was the first time I'd watched another girl in months. When I heard Jintsuu talk about you, I was interested. I've watched other futagirls since then, and each time I can't help but think about you" Mutsuki said.
There was silence for a few moments before Mutsuki spoke again. "I'm...thinking about volunteering again. Kisaragi's gone. I love her, I miss her, I'll never forget her. You can't replace her, but she always told me how much she loved me as a friend and as a volunteer. She appreciated and loved me the same way I did for her, and I think... I think she'd be disappointed if she knew I wasn't volunteering anymore. I haven't talked to the commander yet, but... Someday, I'll be a volunteer again." Mutsuki looked up from the table, tears streaming down her face, and gazed into Fubuki's eyes. Fubuki was still smiling that lovely, supportive smile.
"That's a-all..."
Fubuki leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Mutsuki, and Mutsuki returned the hug. She sniffled lightly and used Fubuki's uniform to wipe her tears. After a moment the two of them pulled away, holding each other's hands, and Fubuki spoke.
"You've helped me so much, Mutsuki. You and the other girls trained me, helped me get better at fighting, and helped me fit in around the base. You've been nothing but nice to me, Mutsuki, and I love you for it. Whatever you decide, whether you go back to volunteering or not, I'll support you. I'll support you no matter what, Mutsuki, because you're my friend. You've got my back, you support me, and I'd be a pretty pathetic fleetgirl, the pride of the Admiral, if I didn't do the same for you. I love you, Mutsuki, and I'll be there for you."
The tears returned with a vengeance and, with a quivering lip, Mutsuki launched herself into another hug with Fubuki, this time holding her much tighter. "Th-thank you, F-F-Fubuki... Thank y-you..." Mutsuki choked out, her forehead pressed into Fubuki's shoulder. She felt Fubuki begin to stroke her back and she started crying quietly.
It'd be a while before Mutsuki was ready to bear marks again, but she knew with Fubuki at her side she could face the challenge, and be proud and happy to once again be a volunteer in the service of the futanari fleetgirls, and to help and be helped in return, in earnest.