I just stood in the same spot for a long time, mulling over what Alice had told me.
Follow my heart...
Do what I thought was the right thing to do...
What did it mean? Was something going to happen between Bella and I, something that I did not know about yet?
And what about Esme? What would she decide to do in the future? Would she think that my attraction to Bella was not a threat to our relationship and stay with me? Or would she believe that it was, and choose to part ways with me?
I could not know this for now. Only time would tell.
Sighing deeply, I ran home. I had to make sure that Bella and Edward were all right.
Although the trip back to the mansion was no more than a half an hour long, it seemed much shorter. It was likely because I had a lot on my mind still.
Pretty soon, I was dashing out of the woods and standing before the house. Edward and Bella's voices drifted out to me from his room.
"...Bella, I need you to tell me the truth. Did Carlisle touch you? Did he hurt you or take advantage of you in any way?" Edward demanded pleadingly.
There was an irritated sigh. "For the last time, Edward, no! He just walked in on me while I was masturbating and started to do so himself. That's all," Bella remarked.
He groaned. "Well, why didn't you stop him? Why didn't you ask him to go away?"
She did not answer at first. Then she mumbled, "I don't know. I...I just don't. I guess that I just wasn't in my right mind."
"What the hell do you mean that you were not in your right mind?! I could see through Alice's thoughts that Carlisle was not, but you? I expected a different reaction from you, Bella! What were you thinking? How could you do this to me?"
"I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to hurt you by not doing anything. I had no intention to hurt you either. But what happened just...happened. I don't know how else to explain it."
Again, there was silence. I walked inside and headed upstairs to where they were. I crept over to Edward's door and peeked through it. If Edward noticed my presence, he did not say anything about it. He was too focused on Bella to pay attention to me.
He exhaled deeply moments later, considering Bella's response. "Are you certain of this, Bella? Do you think that you can explain it, but you are just too afraid to?" he inquired in a low voice.
"What do you mean?" she asked with a frown of bewilderment.
Edward shifted from one foot to the other. "Well...did you...did you not stop Carlisle because you...you felt some level of...attraction...to him?"
Bella could only stare at him in disbelief. However, there was also...was it fear and uncertainty?...in her eyes. "E-Edward...why would you ask me something like that? You know that they only person that I am attracted to is you. I could never feel drawn Carlisle in that way! He's your father, and I always felt as if he were my father too!" she pointed out, her voice rising an octave.
Red-hot pain clenched my heart and wrung it. That statement hurt me in ways that I could not understand...and did not think possible. It...it was as if I almost wanted her to be drawn to me.
No, cross that. I really did want her to be. I wanted her to be very terribly.
But why? She wasn't even my mate...
"That does not answer my question, Bella," Edward said, interrupting my thoughts.
She opened her mouth to argue, but froze. It was as if she had been struck speechless.
Edward's face crumpled in pain and despair. "You are attracted to him, aren't you? You must be...you can't even answer my question. Bella, please...are you? Don't lie to me...tell me...if you are, I will step aside...I will leave and stay away from you..." he gasped.
"NO!" Bella cried, wrapping her arms around him. "Edward, I am attracted you, and only you! You are my soul mate, my true other half! I love you!"
He removed himself from her gently. "I know that you love me, Bella. I know you do, and I love you too...but I can tell that you feel something for him. I can see it in your eyes. I may not be able to read your mind, but you know that you always make your emotions or how you are feeling so obvious."
"Edward, please...listen to me for a minute...let me explain..." she begged.
"You do not have to explain anything to me. I understand everything clearly," he murmured dejectedly. He kissed her on the lips, then backed away. "I need to sort all of this out, and until I do, I think that we should put our relationship on hold. Have some time away from each other."
"No. Edward, don't do this! Don't go."
"I'm sorry, but I must, even though I don't want to."
"Why?!" she questioned in anger.
"Because this time apart will give you time to think about the situation as well. It will also give you a chance to decide what you want to do about your attraction to Carlisle. You clearly are drawn to him.
"If you choose not to act on how you feel for him, and want me back, you know that I will be more than happy to be with you again. However, if you do choose to act on your feelings...I will understand and step aside. I will not like doing it, but I will do it because I love you. I just want you to be happy and to do what you think is right in your heart."
Edward turned and left the room. When he saw me standing by the door, he whispered in vampire speed in a voice too low for Bella to hear, "If you want to be with her, then go ahead. This is an opportune time to make your move if you wish to. I will not harbor any hard feelings towards you if Bella feels that she wants you, and vice versa. And if you do end up together...if ever...just make her happy and protect her. I love her."
I inclined my head. I know that you do, son. But do not get ahead of yourself. She may choose you, for all you know, I thought to him.
He pursed his lips, but did not comment. He ran down the stairs and out the the house.
Bella sped out of his room and followed him, completely oblivious to me. "Edward, come back! Please, come back! I want you! You are the only person I want, and ever will! I love you! Please, don't go! You don't have to!" she called to him tearfully.
"Yes, I do, Bella. It will be better for us if we do...trust me," Edward declared.
"No, it won't. There's no point in leaving when you know that I want to be with you. Don't go."
"I'm sorry, but I have to."
"No, you don't! You just think that you do! Stop being such a jerk and listen to me for a minute, dammit!"
"As I told you a minute ago, I have already figured out what I needed to know. It is unnecessary to discuss the situation any further."
"That's bullshit, Edward! It is necessary and you know it! What is it about this situation that you don't understand? It's obvious that I want to be with you! Please, just stay here. Don't leave...EDWARD! COME BACK!"
I could hear Edward's footsteps ghosting away.
"EDWARD!" Bella shouted.
There was no response.
"EDWARD!" she repeated, this time louder.
When it became apparent to her that Edward would not answer her, Bella broke down and cried in utter abandon. I unglued myself from where I was standing and went outside.
She was hunched on the ground, her face in her arms. I knelt in front of her and laid my hand on her hers. She gave a startled jump and looked up.
I wiped away her tears. "Bella, sweetheart, you shouldn't cry like this."
"Yes, I should. I must cry. Edward's leaving me again, and this time it might be for good. And if it is, I don't know what I will do. I couldn't bear it if he left me a second time, Carlisle! I just couldn't!" she wept bitterly.
"I do not think that he will leave you. He loves you too much to do that," I murmured.
Bella shot me a pointed gaze. "He did it before. Nothing can stop him from doing it another time."
Unfortunately, she was right. "That is true, but the last time he did, it nearly killed him, and had him killed. He won't be in a hurry to do it again."
"How do you know that he won't?"
"Because he loves you, as I said."
She crossed her arms. "All right, but let's just say that Edward does leave. Won't the rest of you go?" she inquired.
I shook my head. "No, we will not. All of us made the mistake of leaving you the first time because Edward wished us to do so, and we are never going to do it again. If I can be honest, it was really my fault that we did. I believed, as he did, that it would be safer for you if we left. That you would be able to go on with your life without us putting you in some form of danger. Of course, I was wrong. If I had known that our leaving you was going to be as harmful for you as it was, I would have stayed here. The rest of the family may have also.
"But we are going to stay with you this time. You are a part of our family now; we cannot abandon you. If Edward decides to go, then that will be his choice. He may do as he pleases, but he will not be able to convince us to follow after him. However, if any of my children or Esme want to go with him, then that is also their decision.
"One thing I do know is that I will remain here. I won't let you suffer as you did when Edward left you the first time. I cannot. I care for you too much to let that happen again. I know that if he leaves, it will devastate you, but you know that you can always talk to me or one of my children if you need to. If they stay, they will be there for you, and so will I," I stated with feeling.
Choking on a sob, Bella cried, "Oh, Carlisle...!"
And suddenly, before I know what was happening, I felt her warm lips on mine.
Bella was...Bella was kissing me.
(A/N: I actually didn't plan for Bella to do that at first, but the idea popped up in my mind, and I thought it would be a nice way to end the chapter. Anyway, REVIEW AS ALWAYS, PLEASE? Thank you! And if anyone wants to check out/purchase the book that I published, just PM me and I will give you the information of how to do so. See ya!)