CHAPTER 31

He wanted to avoid this at all costs, but Nick wouldn't hear of it. He insisted on taking Jeff to the airport and wouldn't let him just take a cab. It was painful, and Jeff was sure his heart was breaking. It was hard enough leaving Blaine, and even Cooper, for that matter. He was still rehashing the guilt of having spent little to no time with Blaine this weekend and trying to balance that out with the absolute joy of being able to spend some time with Nick. Blaine had reassured him many times that he was fine with how the weekend had played out, but Jeff still felt guilty. The guilt on top of the unbelievable sadness of leaving Nick was debilitating.

Nick pulled over at the curb near the "drop off" area and sat there, unmoving, his eyes closed and his hand in Jeff's…..finally. Throughout the whole ride Jeff had wanted to grab Nick's hand, but the stick shift didn't allow for it. This car, however, made up for that….in spades. Jeff watched as people gawked at the flashy, expensive car as they walked by, clearly trying to see who was inside. With the windows tinted, it was impossible, so Jeff just smirked. He shuddered to think how much this car had set Nick back, but OH MY GOD, it was a FINE piece of machinery….sleek and graceful, just like it's owner.

"Jeff….." Nick nearly whined out. "Please…..one more day?" His voice was shaky.

"Oh God, Nicky…don't….if you have any feelings for me, whatsoever, please….I'm begging you, don't make me cry. I don't want to be 'that guy' in the airport looking all broken and … I'm fairly certain there's already a wrecking crew taking up residence in my chest, and one little thing will send me over the edge. I feel like I'm dying here, and I just need to kiss you, get out of this car and walk inside. I'm asking you to just…..just kiss me….and let me leave. I promise to call you as soon as I land, ok baby?"

Nick kept his gaze firmly on Jeff's eyes, said not a word, leaned over and kissed him with as much passion and heat as he could…..and let him walk inside. He watched until Jeff was out of sight, then pulled away. He made it as far as the cell phone lot before he had to pull over and give way to the tears blurring his vision and the pain in his chest. This was INSANE! What the hell was going on with his emotions? He was a blubbering mess, and his chest hurt like he'd been punched. He couldn't even breathe right he was so upset. He was glad there was nobody around when he let out a loud half growl / half cry of frustration.

He grabbed his bottle of water from the cup holder and took a long drink trying to get ahold of himself. Deep breaths seemed to help some, but the pain was still there. He could tell his hands were shaking, and that sort of scared him, because it was so unlike him to be shaken by anything. His whole life he'd been brought up by a man who never let anything get to him…nothing fazed David Duval, and he made sure his sons were tough as nails, too. Oddly, it was this nagging feeling of dread about his father and their phone call the previous day that was contributing to the anxiety he was feeling over Jeff leaving.

With a final sigh of resignation he put the car in gear and drove home to wait for Jeff's call...and to decide if he should plan damage control or a counter attack.

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"You're sad that he's gone already, aren't you?" Kurt grinned at Blaine.

"Yeah….I really miss those guys. When you spend nearly every day together for four years….then much of your college years as well….well, it's tough to just cut that off. I think it's the only thing I dislike about being here – that I'm away from those guys."

"On the bright side, it sounds like Trent and Thad will be joining you soon enough, right?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah…." Blaine grinned. "I still can't get over that. I mean, seriously, Thursday night they showed up and I had no idea Trent was even dating anyone. By Saturday morning I find out that he's not only dating someone, but dating someone I know quite well….and then I find out this morning that they're moving up here and getting married!? Talk about a shift of events!" Blaine laughed.

"You're happy for them though?" Kurt asked.

"Elated…couldn't be happier! Wait til you meet Thad. He is such a nice guy. Those two together…they'll be unstoppable! I can't wait for it!"

"Married…wow. I mean, I don't know them or anything, but that seems like such a monumental step!" Kurt said, and Blaine saw that Kurt was kind of lost in his thoughts for a few minutes.

"It is….monumental….I guess. I think they'll handle it, though. They're both pretty level headed and down to earth. They've known each other long enough to know the others' ups and downs and all the little quirky things. I can't say that I know how they act while dating, but Trent seems genuinely happy, so I have high hopes for them."

"Yeah…." Kurt agreed, clearly still kind of drifting with his thoughts.

"What about you?" Blaine asked him.

"Hmmm? What about me?"

"Do you ever think about it? Getting married one day? Starting a family?" Blaine asked.

"I…I um…." Kurt stuttered. "I used to. Things kind of took a turn, and I haven't really allowed myself to go there for a long time." Kurt answered.

"Oh..." Blaine said, quietly.

"Do you?" Kurt asked him.

"Do I what?"

"Do you want to get married?" Kurt asked.

"Why Kurt, we've only known each other for 72 hours, but hell, let's throw caution to the wind and just do it!" Blaine laughed, and Kurt nailed him in the head with a pillow.

"You dork….you know what I'm saying!" He laughed. Blaine thought about it for a few minutes.

"Ya know….I really never gave it a whole lot of thought. I think, somewhere, in the back of my mind, I always hoped to find someone who would be around for the long haul…the other half…my soul mate. I can't say I've been in any relationship long enough to make me think of the 'next step' in the process as a point of certainty, though. I guess I'd like that…..marriage, kids someday. Settling down…it seems such a grown up thing to do, and who the hell wants to do that?" he smirked.

"I can't even defend and take care of myself, let alone children." Kurt lamented. "It'd be wrong of me to bring them into a relationship I think."

Blaine wasn't sure he'd heard Kurt correctly. He sat back against the sofa cushions and replayed the words in his head before speaking.

"Kurt….is this all because of Jackson? This lack of confidence in yourself? God, I hate that guy! What has he DONE to you?" Blaine said, heat clear in his voice. It was obvious he was angry, and Kurt was taken aback.

"What do you…? I mean, I hate him too, but it's the truth. He came after me and I couldn't even defend myself, Blaine. I was helpless and nearly died for it. Throwing good sense out the window and subjecting children to possible harm would be careless and irresponsible!" he said back with some heat of his own.

"Careless? Irresponsible? Seriously? I'm going to start filming you…have a crew follow you around all day so you can see yourself from the outside, Kurt. I want you to see the careless man that brought two sobbing children to my door while holding their hands…the same man who refused to let said children enter a house with a slightly deranged man who was clearly a few fries short of a Happy Meal because he didn't want them to have to see and hear that again; the same man who didn't even flinch before putting himself in harms way to protect these children from a lunatic bent on hurting them."

"Oh, and that man? He allowed a small, frightened girl to hold on to him, and he never let go, while he patiently waited for her to calm down from something that terrified her beyond her ability to comprehend. And you just try and tell me how comfortable that was for you, Kurt, having her hanging around your neck like that. I'm sure that wasn't a trigger for you in the least, right? Just all in a days work? Oh, and let's not forget that these children you essentially threw yourself into helping and protecting were, at the time, complete strangers to you."

"Geeez, Kurt….c'mon, man. I wish you could see you how I see you…how others see you. You are NOT that man you think you are. You're bright and talented and sensitive and patient….kind, compassionate and brave. I'm in awe of you Kurt, and frankly, I'm amazed that you don't see this!" By now Blaine was almost yelling and Kurt was just sitting, silently, on the sofa staring back at him with wide eyes and a stunned expression.

"I….um…..I wasn't….I didn't know you thought….do you really think all those things about me, Blaine?" Kurt said softly.

"All those and more. I didn't think it was appropriate to throw out things like sexy, hotter than hell, scrambles my hormones and 'makes my pants too tight' when we were discussing children…but there you have it." Blaine said flatly.

The silence seemed to hang on forever, but Blaine was determined to hear what Kurt had to say about it all. He sat in silence waiting for Kurt to say something…anything.

Kurt was up off the sofa in a flash. He grabbed his things and headed for the door before Blaine could react.

"Kurt! Don't walk away….what's wrong? I mean, I'm sorry if I overstepped, but…."

"No…no it's not you, Blaine. It's me…I have to…um….things to consider…think about….I'll call you…later, ok?" he said, looking almost frightened before rushing out the door.

Blaine stood there in shocked silence wondering if he'd finally pushed too far. Should he go after Kurt? Should he give him the space he apparently wanted to think about things? In the end, he stayed, giving Kurt time to "consider things" on his own.

He slumped down on the sofa again and thought of a hundred things he could do, but didn't want to do any of them. He was frustrated and upset, but mostly he was tired. That probably had a lot to do with how he was handling things, especially things with Kurt. He figured he'd get a nap in before work. This weekend consisted of way too many nights of not enough sleep and he didn't want his playing at work to suffer because he couldn't focus. Sleep didn't come easy, though. There was just too much on his mind.

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Kurt slipped inside and leaned against his front door, his forehead resting on the slick wood while he tried to control his breathing. He'd had to get out of there. He thought he was going to hyperventilate at Blaine's words. Never, in all of his life, had anyone but his parents ever said such things about his character. Even after almost 9 months with Jackson, he had never complimented Kurt in such a way. What would Blaine have thought of him if he'd sat there and burst into tears because he called him kind and compassionate…and talented…..oh my God, and sexy! Sighing, he knew where to turn, and it was time anyway. It was time to call his dad.

"Hey, Kiddo! Who's the handsome new guy you're sleeping with?"

"I...dad? I um….we were….how did you…..DAD!?"

Burt laughed. He loved flustering Kurt, and since Kurt hadn't called him Saturday OR Sunday, he was set on giving him a hard time for it.

"Dad, I haven't….we're not…like that….at all!" Kurt blurted out.

"Well, from the photo Rachel sent, you looked awfully comfortable sleeping in the arms of a dark haired stranger, that's all I'm sayin'." Burt teased him.

"Damn you, Rachel Berry!" Kurt huffed. "I'm going to wring her nosy little neck!"

"So you don't deny it?" Burt asked, still teasing.

"Dad….he's…..he's just…..wow." was all Kurt could manage to get out. "Remember when I first got here and I told you Rachel and I went out early that Sunday morning, we got coffee, looked at some of the apartments in the paper and all that?"

"I do….and that happens to be the morning you saw 'the most stunning man you've ever seen outside of a magazine' in a coffee shop, isn't it?" Burt asked.

"It is….he is. Dad….he's…he's so much. I mean, you know that his appearance first caught my attention, and I guess that's to be expected since we didn't speak or have any interaction at all, but…..dad he's amazing. He's a musician…he plays the piano, and the guitar and the drums and God only knows what else. He wrote the most amazing song for me….well, about me…us…him and I. I kept hearing him play it, over and over and over in his apartment, and I would think 'wow, this guy has it bad! Whoever that song is about is really lucky!' and dad, it's about ME!" Kurt gushed.

"And you're going to explain why you were creeping outside of this guy's apartment enough times to hear him playing this song over and over? Kurt, that's a little….." Burt began.

"He lives here, dad! He lives in the apartment next to mine!"

"You've got to be kidding me? And you had no idea about this until…?" Burt prompted.

"Friday night. He had a party, and he actually invited me and told me to bring a guest…I mean, not in person or anything, but with an invitation slid under my door. He didn't know I lived here either. But I couldn't….dad, if you'd seen how many people were there, I just didn't think I'd be ok with it…and strangers at that. So I invited Rach over and we did facials and had dinner. She went through my closet with me and we weeded out all of the winter stuff that could be stored away for awhile. Mrs. Raymond said I could store some things upstairs on the third floor, so I carried the garment bags up there and found the most beautiful grand piano! It was all covered up with an old tarp, and dreadfully out of tune, but it's a beautiful instrument! So then….." Kurt started again, but Burt interrupted.

"Kid….the guy…where does he fit in here?" Burt laughed.

"Oh…well, when I found the piano, I sat down at the bench and started playing it, just goofing around really. I figured with all the noise from the party downstairs nobody would hear me, and if they did, it would blend in with all the other music playing. So I got kind of lost in my own world…..I haven't played in so long, and I really miss it, dad, and so I started drifting, not paying attention to what I was playing, and fell right into playing his song. I've heard it so many times, and it's this haunting, beautiful melody, and so I started playing it, not as well as HE plays it, but…kinda…my way, and the next thing I knew, he was there! Just standing there, at the top of the stairs, and I…..I was just…..at first, I think I was almost scared. The way the moonlight hit him, it was almost creepy…he looked…..I don't know, like a spirit or something, and I thought I'd finally just gone around the bend and …but Blaine…he's…..wow." Kurt sighed.

"So, his name is Blaine? You found out his name and fell asleep with him?" Burt teased.

"NO! Dad, no! We talked, upstairs, for awhile. He had friends in from out of town and they found us upstairs…well, with Rachel's help, and his brother was there. We just….dad, we clicked. He wanted me to come downstairs to the party, but I just couldn't. And when everyone left, he came over and asked me to just come over and talk, just the two of us, and we did, for so long, until the wee hours of the morning and it was so….so comfortable? It was like finding your old childhood stuffed animal after 20 years….just….like it was already comfortable in a way…it was meant to happen. And we literally talked until we fell asleep….and when I woke up, I was just….there? And Rachel sent you a photo?!" Kurt yelled, the implications dawning on him. "When was she even there? I woke up to Trent and Jeff there, but no Rachel anywhere!"

"…and Trent and Jeff are…?" this from Burt.

"Blaine's best friends, from out of town, from Ohio actually! Dad, he's from Ohio! Can you even believe that?" Kurt gushed.

"So then everything started happening with my arm being stuck on his pants zipper and then breakfast and Trent freaked out and fainted and then he went to work and I made cinnamon rolls but then Sebastian was there, and I do NOT think I'm going to like him a whole bunch, but when he went to kiss me I freaked out, I made him leave and it was horrible…but I'm seeing Dr. Stein tomorrow, and I got a journal and then Trent went home and he's marrying Thad and then Jeff and Nick and…but Josh showed up and when the cops got here it scared the kids and I had to go to the ER with Evee…" Kurt stopped, taking in a long breath. "It's been the most unbelievable weekend, dad. And all because of Blaine."

Burt sat in silence for a long minute, and it was actually Carole's voice that broke the pause.

"Kurt, honey, I walked in mid conversation, but I want you to know what I got out of all that. You were stuck on someone's zipper? Trent fainted, but he went to work, even though he lives in Ohio? And then Sebastian tried to KISS YOU and you freaked out and made him leave. Who is Sebastian? And Trent went home to marry Thad and Jeff AND Nick? And I don't even know where to begin with this Josh person and cops and kids and the ER. Kurt….I'm confused and a little concerned, and I don't mind telling you that! Are you ok, honey?" she said, so very mom-like.

"Carole, that all came out in a rush, and that's totally not what happened, but….I'm SO much better than ok, I think. I'm…..I'm just…." Deep sigh…."I'm just…crazy…about this guy and I'm so terrified that I want to scream and cry. I don't want to lose him, but I can't get close to him because of…..because of everything…with Jax. I have all these walls up, and all these flashbacks of things happening and all I want is to hold him, and I can't. It's killing me, because I see that it's hurting him."

Kurt was emotionally drained with this conversation. It wasn't a particularly hard conversation to have, but it was saying so many things out loud that he hadn't discussed with anyone, and suddenly it was just word vomit, and if he was correct, his dad and Carole were sitting on the other end of the line with gaping mouths, probably wondering where this had all come from.

"Guys?" Kurt questioned when he heard nothing.

"Kurt….." Carole began, but then her voice broke a little bit. Burt said nothing, but Kurt thought he could hear him sniffling in the background.

"Guys, what's wrong?" Kurt said, confused. Had he said something hurtful? Something wrong?

"Oh Kurt…." There as a long pause, then Carole began again. "Kurt, it's time. I'm so glad you're seeing Dr. Stein tomorrow. Make sure you tell her everything you've said here to us, it's important, ok? In fact, take that journal and go write it all down…everything you've said to us. Oh honey…"

"But why in the world are you guys upset? Carole, it sounds like you're crying!" Kurt said over the phone.

"Kiddo, do you realize that's the most you've said to either one of us in a single conversation since…well, since last year. Since before all this craziness with Jackson? It does my heart good to hear you so emotional, so upbeat about something…about someone. We've missed your enthusiasm so much, Kurt. It's good to have you back, kid." Burt finished.

They talked for a while longer, Kurt telling them what he'd been working on for David Perry and realizing that he'd never told them that David wanted Kurt to make a suit for HIM that he planned to wear 'for something special', but he wouldn't tell Kurt what yet. Burt and Carole were excited for him, but more than that, they were just so happy to see him returning to the Kurt they'd missed for the past year.

They said their goodbyes after Kurt urged them to visit anytime, but to please make it soon. He couldn't wait to show them his new apartment and around the city and the places he'd found so far. They hung up with happy grins on both ends of the line.

Burt gave Carole a look that she instantly read and smiled at. Burt wanted to visit. Very soon. If this Blaine was the reason for Kurt being so lively, then Burt wanted….no, needed to meet him. He wanted to see the man who made his little boy so animated, so happy. And more than anything he wanted to see Kurt's smile, because it had been way too long since he'd seen it last.

"I know, I know, you need to see him…..and now, not later." Carole smiled at Burt. "I'll see about taking some time off at work." She hugged Burt and they just held on for a few minutes.

"I'm going to get him back….he's….he's working his way back to the old Kurt, honey." Burt said, so beyond thrilled that he couldn't say anything more.