CHAPTER 44
Jeff felt sick. The ride over to Nick's parents' home was both the longest of his life and the shortest of his life. He wanted this over with, so why was it taking so long to get there? Scratch that, he didn't want to do it at all. Couldn't they drive a little slower and put it off for a bit? His stomach was in knots and the thought of meeting the man who hated him so much made him want to tuck and roll right out the door at the next stop light. He was marginally sure Nick wouldn't be impressed with his tumbling skills or his escape methods.
C'mon, Jeff, man up. This man has all but destroyed your life in the past 24 hours. He has no good reason to hate you, and if anything, you have every reason to hate him!
He couldn't bring himself to hate the man, though. Hate was truly a strong emotion, and he didn't want to go that far. Angry? Hell yes he was angry. He wanted answers, and he wanted them now, but getting angry and yelling wasn't what he wanted his first impression to be with Nick's family.
"Babe? Jeff?" Nick said, clearly not for the first time.
"Hmmm?" Jeff answered, nowhere near the cab in his mind.
"We're here. You coming with me?"
"Are you giving me the choice, because I think we're both aware of what I'll say." Jeff grinned back, a little sadness in his eyes. The both climbed out of the car and headed into the lobby of a massive building that Jeff was certain he couldn't afford to even ride the elevator in.
"Jeff, baby, please...you look like you're going to vomit. You're turning green. Do we need to hit the restroom first?" Nick asked, clearly concerned.
"No…I'm….I'm good. Please, let's just get this over with. I just want to be done here and go home – well, to your home anyway." Jeff replied tiredly.
Nick came to a standstill in the middle of the lobby, people passing by on either side of them, and turned to face Jeff. Jeff looked less than enthused and Nick gave him the warmest smile he could muster, leaning in to rest their foreheads together. Jeff finally smiled and closed his eyes, taking in the scent of Nick and trying to relax.
"Jeff, please look at me." He said, and Jeff's eyes fluttered open, a hint of the shy boy he knew still there. "First of all, it's our home now. What's mine is yours, and you need to get used to that. Secondly, this is probably not the best time for this, not the best location, but I need for you to know, before we go up there, how much I adore you. I'm 26 years old, and I've admittedly dated enough to know what I'm talking about here, but I have never, in all of my life, in all of those years, or with any of those guys, wanted what I want with you. I've never felt the instant connection. I've never felt sick to my stomach being away from anyone but you. I've never known the feeling of utter contentment that I feel when I'm with you, when I'm talking to you, when I'm just holding you. You're it for me, Jeffrey Sterling, and the only person who can talk me out of being with you is…well, you. If you don't want me or if I no longer make you happy, then I'll let go. I want you to be happy at all costs, even if it's not with me. So that being said, do you want to be with me?" Nick asked with love in his eyes and in his words.
"God, Nicky. Just….what?" Jeff said, shaking his head. "Of course I want you! There's nobody else for me, and I knew it the minute I saw you! I'm not leaving you, I promise, unless you tell me to go. But know that I'm terrified right now, baby. These are the most important and influential people in your life, and I'm going into this knowing that at least one of them despises me for reasons that I'm not privy to. I'm a little bit nervous, so cut me some slack, ok?" he smiled, leaning back in to rest their foreheads together again.
"You wanna just sit down here a few minutes and take a few deep breaths?" Nick asked, nodding toward a sofa near the huge windows that looked out at the sidewalk and the traffic buzzing by.
"No. No, I really just want to get it over with. Let's get it done. The sooner we get up there, the sooner I can run away with my tail between my legs and –"
"Stop that!" Nick laughed, nudging him in the side. "They're going to love you, because I love you. My dad is not even a blip on the radar in terms of my decisions anymore. No worries, love." Nick reassured him, turning towards the elevators again.
"Hey Nicky? I love you, too. You know that, right? It's important to me, going into this, that you know that I do, and just how much." Jeff whispered to Nick, staring him straight in the eyes.
"I know, babe….I know." Nick smiled back at him. "And if that means it's you and me against the world after today, then that's what it means, alright?" Jeff just nodded at him and took his hand.
They entered the elevator and Jasper took them up to the penthouse. Jeff was squeezing Nick's hand so tightly that it hurt, but Nick wouldn't say a word about it. He knew how upsetting this was for Jeff, and he didn't blame him one bit. Jasper was his normal chatty self, asking after Nick and being introduced to Jeff on the way up. Jeff was polite and shook his hand, but his eyes weren't as warm as they usually were. Nick chalked it up to nerves.
When the elevator stopped and the boys stepped out into a long, richly wallpapered hallway, Nick turned to smile at Jeff again, giving him a pointed look that was clearly saying "you ready for this?". Jeff wasn't. But he knew he had to be. Nick knocked once and shoved the door open. He gave Jeff's hand a squeeze and breezed inside.
"Kurt, we're heading over to Rachel's to pick up Finn. Rachel's show is at noon and we don't want to be late. Are you sure you don't want to come with us?" Carole yelled through the closed bathroom door.
"No…no, Carole, I'm good. Thank you for the invitation, though. Tell Rachel I promise to see it while it's playing, but I just can't today." Kurt yelled back, yet not nearly as loudly. She could tell he was upset, but didn't know why.
"Honey, I can stay back if you want? Do you need anything? You don't sound like yourself this morning."
"Thanks, Carole, but I'm ok. Just need to rest I think." He said, quite a bit softer than before, but she was still able to hear him. Yes, something was wrong. She'd have to wring it out of him later. "Please be sure to lock the door when you go, though."
"Ok, I'll be sure. But I think maybe you're locking yourself in with your…um…issues?" she said, a hint of a smile in her voice. He paid no attention, but waited for the door to click shut before exiting the bathroom and heading for the kitchen. He needed a cup of tea and an hour to sulk on the sofa alone. What in the world was he thinking?!
"Penny for your thoughts?" came a voice from the sofa in his living room, and Kurt dropped the kettle of water into the sink.
"Blaine! Jesus, I'd assumed you went on to brunch with Cooper! You scared the hell out of me!" Kurt screeched. Blaine sat on the sofa Kurt had slept on, the blankets folded neatly and piled on one side and Blaine sitting with his legs drawn up and crossed on the other side.
"I don't generally make a habit of walking away when someone I care about is obviously distressed about something. What's going on, Kurt? Wait, before you say anything, let me remind you that you have my phone!" he grinned. Kurt's face was a picture of confusion, then surprise, then shame.
"Oh god, I forgot. Here I was ready to choke you for not responding to me last night and I had your phone all along. I'm sorry, Blaine." Kurt said, he head hung low and his eyes downcast.
"Hey, none of that. Please come here and sit with me. Talk to me and tell me what's going on?"
Kurt made his way to the sofa and plopped down between Blaine and the pile of blankets, still unable to look Blaine in the eye. Slowly, Blaine reached up to cup his jaw and run his finger over the jawline. "Have I done something wrong, Kurt?"
"No…you didn't. I just…last night…Blaine I'd almost swear…." Kurt began, but kept cutting himself off. He took a deep resigned breath and started again. "I think I'm seeing things. Maybe I'm going crazy or my mind is playing tricks, but I…I think I saw Jackson last night at the Dive." He said quietly and watched as Blaine's eyes got bigger and his mouth fell open.
"Kurt…are you sure? I suppose it's entirely possible, but what are the odds that, in a city this big, you'd end up in the same bar at the same time?" Blaine asked.
"I know, I know. I think it was just my mind messing with me after the phone call from Finn telling me he was out of prison. I've been thinking about it pretty much nonstop and I'm starting to let it get to me. I need to just relax and sleep. That four hours this morning isn't going to cut it. And I won't get much sleep in before my dad and Carole come back, I'm sure." Kurt said tiredly. "I hope that Cooper won't be super upset with me if I have to cancel." He said, giving Blaine a sad look. "I don't think I could function properly through a meal in this state."
"I already told him we wouldn't be able to make it. No worries. I think we dodged a bullet anyway. He was going to introduce us to his newest conquest. He claims this one is 'different', too!" Blaine laughed. "What can I do for you, Kurt? No, please don't say 'nothing' and shut me out. I want to help." Blaine said to him, so much caring and concern in his eyes that Kurt was momentarily sucked into them. He just stared for a few seconds and caused Blaine to smile.
"I just need rest before they come home." Kurt replied.
"Would it be ok if I stayed for a bit? You don't have to entertain me, I just want to…to maybe hold you for a little bit?" Blaine asked. "In fact, if you're worried about them coming home and waking you up, why don't you leave a note or send them a text that you won't be here when they get home and not to hurry back and we can go next door for all the peace and quiet you want?"
"Really? You'd…I mean, I'm sure you have other things to do? You surely don't have to hang out with me on your day off, Blaine."
"There's nowhere I'd rather be. Please, come on over and we'll just snuggle up a bit…as much or as little as you'd like, and get some rest. Deal?"
"Deal…oh, such a deal!" Kurt almost squealed. He dashed across the room and took off for Blaine's door before the shorter man could even get his keys out. As Blaine fiddled with his keys and unlocked his door, an irritating voice echoed from behind a door across the hallway: "tick tock, Hummel!" Kurt could almost hear the sneer.
"Ignore him, Kurt." Blaine said, placing his hand on the small of Kurt's back and leading him inside. It immediately reminded Kurt of why he'd rushed off to the bathroom to begin with.
"Blaine…no…wait." Kurt said, coming to a halt inside the door. He closed it quietly behind him and led Blaine to the sofa, sitting down and pulling Blaine down with him. "Blaine, I'm…I'm so sorry about the hallway. I'm so ashamed of –" he began, but Blaine cut him off.
"Kurt, there's nothing to be ashamed of. Your dad pretty much blew it off. I don't think he was mad or anything." Blaine said quickly.
"No, it's not about that. Blaine, the things I said…about…about you and me and that I'd…do that…when I was ready to and…oh my God…." Kurt whimpered, blushing and he dropped his head into his hands. "I didn't mean it like that. I should never have said that and I don't know what came over me, other than that jackass saying what he did, but that's no excuse for what I said in return because you're not a piece of meat, Blaine, or a piece of property, and I'm so sorry if what I said insinuated that I thought that you were because it's so far from the truth that I –" Kurt rambled on, but Blaine had begun to giggle and finally put his hand over Kurt's mouth.
"Kurt, I didn't take any of that seriously, and I certainly wasn't offended in any way. I'd like to hope I know better than to think you'd speak to me or of me that way." He smiled shyly. "But I'd be lying if I said that the thought of watching some load bearing walls crumbling with you didn't make my tummy do a little flip here and there." Blaine was blushing from the roots of his curls to his toes, he was sure of it. He couldn't meet Kurt's eyes, but sat there nudging him in the shoulder, grinning like a fool.
"You…you would want to…um…I mean, of course, eventually, maybe, if you wanted and I was able to…but, um…." Kurt stuttered out, clearly at a loss for words and fully unable to complete a sentence. The thought of actually being intimate with Blaine that way was more than his sleep deprived mind could handle right then. He was still trying to figure out why Blaine wanted to be with him at all, let alone be intimate.
"Kurt?" Blaine said softly, lifting Kurt's chin so their eyes finally met. "When you're ready, ok? No rush. No hurry. No pressure. Yes….I'd want to…oh God, so much, and I'd be a damn liar if I said I didn't think of it, and probably way too often to be polite, but…yeah, Kurt. Yes. I want that. More than I can articulate. But we'll get there when we're ready…both of us, whether that's 10 days from now or 10 years from now, ok?" Blaine said, so much affection in his eyes that Kurt was momentarily stunned. "But Kurt, please, baby, I'm begging you. Don't make me wait ten years?"
"Blaine!" Kurt squeaked out. He whacked Blaine with a pillow from the sofa, grinning and blushing. "I won't make you wait 10 years…I promise." He said quietly, still grinning. NOW he was thinking about it…it was taking over his mind, and suddenly, he was very aware of how close they were sitting and the clean scent of a freshly showered Blaine. He let his head loll over onto Blaine's shoulder while Blaine automatically raised his arm around the back of the sofa and laid it around Kurt's shoulders. He stiffened for a split second, but just as quickly he turned shy eyes to Blaine and smiled.
"Get some sleep, babe. I'll make sure there are no distractions, ok?" Blaine whispered into Kurt's hair when he snuggled down into Blaine's side looking for that perfect spot. Finally he sat up, pulled Blaine's right leg up against the back cushions and settled between his Adonis' legs to rest his head on a broad, warm chest.
"Perfect…" Kurt breathed out, eyes sliding shut and his left hand curling around a handful of Blaine's shirt.
"Boys, I'm telling you right now, if you make Jeffrey or Nicholas uncomfortable in ANY way, I will make you very sorry. I don't care that every one of you is bigger than me now, I will find a way to turn you over my knee just like I did when you were little. Now it's very obvious that Nicholas is nervous, I mean, seriously, when it the last time he brought anyone home to meet us?" Meredith Duval said sternly to her sons.
"I think it was that Benjamin guy that he brought home in college. We met him, what…once? And he never came back." Robby said, snickering.
"Be that as it may, Jeffrey is very obviously important to your brother, and I expect you to treat him with the utmost respect. NO funny business, Robby!" Meredith stated flatly.
"What?! Why'd you say me? I didn't do anything!" Robby protested, but was met with a chorus of "YET!" from his other three brothers in the room. "Seriously harsh!" he moped.
"So, where's dad?" Alex asked. Being the oldest, he'd worked with his father the longest. He was more than well aware what kind of businessman his father was, and he was also very familiar with what kind of man his father was in general. He'd be lying if he said he was comfortable with this family meeting. "And where's Bay? I thought we were ALL supposed to be here?"
"Your sister had a team meeting this morning to discuss rescheduling the competition that was cancelled. She'll be here when it's over. As for your father…well, we'll see. I'm asking you all, ahead of time, to please, for the love of God, keep him in line. I can't imagine why your brother sounded so upset when he called, but it wasn't something I've heard in his voice before…nor do I want to hear it again. Something has happened, and we need to deal with it civilly.
They heard the door open at that point and as if on cue, they all rushed from the kitchen to the foyer, banging into one another trying to make it through the doorway at one time. After shouldering each other out of the way and shoving a bit, they all made their way into the living room to greet Nick and to meet Jeff.
Meredith nearly squealed with delight as she finally made her way into the living room, having been last to get through the kitchen doorway. Her son stood there, grinning like a fool, the love so clearly obvious in his eyes and it was everything she could muster in herself not to break into tears. He'd found 'the one' and Jeffrey would be around for quite some time if their adoring looks were anything to go by.
"Jeffrey! It's so nice to finally meet you, dear! We've heard so much about you." She beamed.
"Some of us more than others….." Robby commented with an evil grin and wagging eyebrows. Jeff bit his bottom lip and took in a deep breath trying very hard not to turn 87 shades of red. Nick gave his youngest brother a deadly look and Robby backed up to stand behind Steven, still grinning. Meredith rushed forward to grab Jeff in a motherly hug and he was momentarily stunned by her tight hug as well as her clear affection for him. He felt immediately better than he had even 3 minutes earlier.
"Mrs. Duval, it's a great pleasure to meet you." Jeff smiled, squeezing her back.
"Oh…no…Mrs. Duval makes me sound so old. Please, call me Meredith!" she beamed back at him. "Welcome to our home. Please, make yourself comfortable and let me know if there's anything I can get you! Would you like something to drink, perhaps?"
"No, ma'am, I'm good, thank you." He said, smiling. She made him feel so at ease, but it took only glancing at Nick's brothers, all piled on one sofa staring at him, for him to get the butterflies back in his belly again.
"Guys! Oh my God, you're so embarrassing! What the hell?" Nick chastised them as they stared at Jeff, smiling widely at the two men holding hands and sitting closely on the sofa.
"Seriously, Nick, you haven't let us meet anyone since you were like four, so shut it and let us make him uncomfortable. We deserve this!" Danny grinned. Nick just rolled his eyes.
"Guys, this is obviously Jeff. Babe, this is Alex, Steven, Danny and Robby…in that order." Nick said, introducing everyone. They all just sat there, still grinning widely at Jeff as if he were a shiny new toy they weren't allowed to play with yet. But leave it to Robby to break the silence.
"He called him 'babe'!" he snickered.
"Geez, Robby!" Nick said, rolling his eyes up and shaking his head. Jeff just grinned and held Nick's hand tighter. "Ok, so where's Bailey? And dad?" he asked, wanting to get this over with.
"Bailey had a meeting this morning, but she should be here shortly. Your father…I expected him here by now. I'll call him and see where he is." Meredith offered, pulling out her cell phone and walking away from the group.
"So seriously, Jeff, we're all glad to meet you. You should really learn right off to ignore Robby. We all do." Alex said, as if it was the rule more than the exception.
"Asshole!" Robby hissed under his breath in Alex's direction. "I think we ALL know it's not ME we have to worry about, it's dad." He stated. Jeff drew in a sharp breath and Nick kept his hand snuggly in his own.
"Yeah…about that. There have been some things –" Nick began, but then he heard his mother on her phone speaking angrily to whoever was on the other end of the line, assumingly his father.
"David! I specifically told you that you needed to be here and you said ok! What in the world do you mean you're playing golf!?" she said, reprimanding her husband. "This is beyond rude, even for you! Now please, for your son, head home so we can all talk about whatever it is that Nick has to say. You need to meet Jeffrey, he's a darling young man." Meredith said, clearly upset now. "DAVID! What a horrible thing to say! I'm appalled! You should be ashamed of yourself. I'm asking you, once more, to come home and speak with your family. I will not ask again." She said, and it was clear that she meant business. After listening to her husband on the other end of the line, she inhaled sharply, her eyes shooting open wide and she pulled the phone away from her ear, clearly in shock. Slowly, she disconnected and left the phone laying on the sofa table.
"Nicholas…I'm….I'm sorry, but I don't think your father will be joining us today. I'm not sure whether to be angry or relieved, actually. He seems to be in a terrible temper. I'm sorry, honey. But please, do go on with what you wanted to speak with everyone about?" Meredith urged.
"I'm sure it's just as well." Nick commented dryly, a humorless laugh escaping him, and hitting send on his phone after typing out a text message. He felt the stress practically dripping off of Jeff at the realization that David wouldn't be there. It seemed like blood was flowing freely through his fingers again, as well, for which he was grateful. "Well, I wanted to let you all know that I've made some decisions, as of late, and dad has had some indirect input on them. Without saying a word to me, he's made my decisions easier. I'm certain he won't be thrilled, but he's forced my hand. I'm sure you're all well aware that I didn't want to be a part of the business. Let's not mince words here. We're all very well aware of how he runs the show, and my days of being in this three ring circus of deceit and lies are over." Nick said, calmly, handing over an envelope to his oldest brother.
Alex opened it and scanned it quickly, his eyes shooting to Nick as he passed the letter to Steven.
"Nick, you can't just…you can't just quit!" Steven nearly shouted. "I know he's hard to get along with, but…you're family, and –" he began, but Nick cut him off.
"He has no love for family…well, not for me anyway. The past few weeks have been an exercise in how many hurtful things he could say to me and about the person I love. He has set things in motion that could very well destroy Jeff's career…or land him in jail if he pushes this far enough." Nick explained. His brothers' faces fell, as did that of his mom. He took the opportunity to start from the very beginning and explain to them everything David had said, the phone calls, the threats, the tires on Caroline's car, the bank, the cell phone, Jeff's job…all of it. He didn't miss a beat or a detail, especially about Jeff's job and what it could mean for the future, and by the end of his rant, his family was dumbstruck. His mother was in tears. His brother's sat mutely on the sofa with looks of horror, disapproval and utter disgust on their faces.
"So wait, I'm confused a little bit." Danny asked. "When did dad meet Jeff and decide that he hates him so strongly that he feels he has to keep him away from you? And what exactly made him think that anyway? I think I missed part of this story somewhere."
"Danny, that's just it. Dad's never met Jeff. Never spoken to him. Never interacted with him at all. He has no reason to dislike him in any way, let alone do all the hateful, horrible things he's done. There's no reason for it. None whatsoever." Nick explained. "His sole reasoning is that he doesn't believe Jeff to be 'worthy' of a Duval because he doesn't have the money we have. That's it. He's said so in so many words, believe me. He said it to mom and told Bailey the same thing as well."
It was then, and only then, that he realized that Jeff wasn't saying anything either. When he turned to look at his boyfriend, all he saw was a stunned expression and glassy eyes.
"Jeff? Babe…what's wrong?" Nick asked, quietly.
"I…I'm uh…why didn't you tell me? Nicky, you didn't…you can't just give up your job! Do you realize what's going to happen when he finds out? He hates me now, but I can't….when he…Oh God, Nicky!" Jeff nearly wailed. He stood, running his fingers through his hair nervously. "He'll blame me for this! If he'd done all of this to get me away from you up til now, do you even KNOW what he's going to do when –" Jeff began, but was interrupted by Nick's phone ringing.
"When I realized he wasn't coming, I emailed the letter to him myself. I'm certain that's him now. Would you all like to hear how much 'love' he has for me?" Nick asked, answering his phone on speaker.
"Dad…" Nick said, nonchalantly.
"Nicholas, what in God's name has possessed you? Have you taken leave of what little bit of senses you seem to have in that brain of yours?! Resigning?!" he screamed into the phone. "You have GOT to be kidding me!"
"Not kidding, dad. You have nobody to blame for this but yourself. I tried dad, I gave you everything I had. I worked like a dog for you, with little to no appreciation from you at all throughout the years. In return, you've made it your personal mission to hurt the man I love, and by extension, you've hurt me greatly. I won't have it." Nick said evenly.
"THAT'S what this is about? That fucking bottom feeder you've been spending time with? I told you once, Nicholas, and I'll say it again, he's not of our rank, and I won't –"
"You won't anything! You don't have any say, anymore, dad. As far as I'm concerned, you're dead to me. I'm finished with you. You've proven to me that my happiness is of no concern to you time and again. You've hurt Jeff, you've terrified his mother and grandmother , and you've probably set things in motion for Jeff to lose his job, dad! You have to make that go away. Rescind the email and tell them it's a false claim. I can't imagine what you were thinking when you pulled that little stunt!" Nick bellowed back.
"I'll do no such thing! Especially now! What the fuck are you thinking, giving up a career for a few mediocre blowjobs?!" David screeched into the phone. Nick's family was wide eyed and silent throughout the call, but Meredith had heard enough.
"DAVID JOHN DUVAL! That is enough! Are you telling me that you don't deny doing any of these things to your own son? You have never even MET Jeffrey! Oh God, David, how could you?!" she wailed, tears falling down her face now.
"Mom…." Danny said, putting an arm around her and leading her to a chair. She was shaking now, and none of them were sure if it was from anger or sadness and shock.
"Very clever, Nicholas. Have your mother listen in. Well, let's discuss how you plan to make a living now, after you leave the best paying job you'll ever have."
"Mom's not the only one here, dad. Not cool, man…not cool. How could you do that to Nick?" Robby asked, clearly upset. David faltered, wondering how many of his children were present.
"Dad…I…I'm just…I can't believe you'd stoop so low. Jeff's a cool guy, dad. What were you thinking?" Alex asked.
"Yes, well, let's gang up on dad. I don't have time for this shit. I have a golf game to finish. Clean your office out today, Nicholas. And I'm having your computer confiscated as we speak. You won't take anything of value with you when you go!" David said, disconnecting the call.
The room was deathly silent except for Meredith's quiet tears falling. Nick was suddenly very aware of Jeff's hand in his own, shaking violently. He turned to say something to him, but Jeff immediately pulled his hand away and stood, pacing over to the glass doors. He was visibly trembling and clearly upset.
"Jeff…" Nick began. "Please…say something. You're kind of freaking me out here. It's only a job, Jeff, I can find another job. I can support you without issue until this thing with your job blows over…" Nick said, trailing off as Jeff didn't reply.
"No. Nicky, you know it's not that. We've had this conversation before. I don't care if you make millions or if you push a hot dog cart through Central Park. It didn't matter before and it doesn't matter now, and it never will. In fact, it would be so much easier if you were some dirt poor guitar player, Nicky…." He trailed off, looking through the glass at the windy city. "Jesus, he's so angry. I need….I need to go…home. I need to be with my mom and Gram in case…in case he…what if he goes after them again? Nick, please…just…" Jeff began, but it was looking as if he was going to hyperventilate instead of finishing the conversation.
"Jeffrey, honey, please…please sit down with me." Meredith said softly. "Let me get you a cup of tea or something, ok? You're frightening me, dear."
"I'm…I'm ok, Mrs. Duval, really. I just think I need…I need to get to my family. I'm sure Mr. Duval still has…um…people in the area, and I'm afraid for them, so…" Jeff began, but suddenly felt the little pieces of reality slipping away. His mind was a jumble of feelings and emotions and he wasn't sure he was putting them all where they belonged. Nick's family was staring at him, worriedly. His mom and Gram were probably in more danger now. Nick had quit his job for him. Jeff, himself, no longer had a job as far as he knew and the recent turn of events wasn't going to change that for the better, he knew. Nick had told his father he was, essentially dead to him. His breathing became labored and he was suddenly quite light headed. He felt as if everything was building up against a dam inside him, and it was about to break. "Nicky….." he said, reaching out for Nick's hand, but missing it, and then feeling limp and lifeless, the floor rushing up to meet him.
Blaine watched Kurt sleep for a long while, playing in his soft hair and staring at his chest rising and falling. Eventually he was drifting off as well, and was awakened later by a knocking at the door. Glancing up, he realized he hadn't locked it when they came in, and thought only briefly before saying "it's open" and hoping whoever was at the door was friend and not foe. It was Burt who stuck his head in the doorway.
"Hey, kid, Kurt left me a text saying he wasn't going to be home but he…" Burt started, stopping when he realized where Kurt was. Blaine's smile when he glanced down at the man snuggling between his legs was brilliant, and it warmed Burt's heart. "Well, that answers that question, doesn't it?" he said, eyes shining.
"We were supposed to go to brunch with Cooper, but when he came out of the bathroom after you guys left, he wasn't up for it. I could tell by the dark circles under his eyes that he hadn't slept well, and I was afraid, at first, that it was because he'd been calling me and couldn't get me, but then he said he…" Blaine shifted, unsure if he should share this with Burt, but deciding it was for the best. "He said he thought he saw Jackson the other night at the club, Burt."
"What?" Burt breathed out, his voice soft, but clearly serious. "Is he sure?" he asked.
"I don't know. He said he thought he'd seen him, but then he was gone. Kurt thinks he's just overthinking it, now that he knows Jackson is out of prison. I'm a little uneasy about it, myself, though." Blaine explained.
"Yeah. Yeah, kid, I know the feeling." Burt said solemnly, running his hand over his head after removing his trademark hat. "How long's he been sleeping?"
"About 3 hours I guess. He hasn't moved much, so I'm hoping he's resting well. I didn't think this would be the most comfortable spot, but he seems to enjoy it, so…" Blaine trailed off, a lovesick smile on his face.
"I'm pretty sure he enjoys your company, Blaine, no matter where that is." Burt smiled. "And as for that, I want to thank you, kiddo. I don't know what you've done, but you've made a huge difference in him in such a short time. I'm so grateful to have my son back…the one that smiles and laughs, that is. I hadn't seen that in so long that I'd begun to wonder if I'd ever see that boy again. He's working his way back, and I'm eternally grateful, Blaine. Thank you."
"Oh…well, I didn't…I'm not…Mr. Hummel," he began, but saw Burt raise his eyebrows. "Burt…" he grinned, "Please understand that Kurt is very important to me. I know we haven't known each other that long, but he's…he's such a special person, and I adore him more every day. I'm the lucky one that gets to spend time with him, and that's…that's quite an honor, sir." Blaine told Burt, clearly wearing his heart on his sleeve. Burt just gave him a grin and a nod, and backed toward the door.
"I'll see myself out. Keep my boy happy, Blaine. That's all I ask. Be good to each other, ok?"
"I'll do my very best, Burt. I promise." Blaine replied, and watched Burt close the door behind himself. Blaine settled back into the sofa, still running his fingers up and down Kurt's shoulder when he heard his phone buzz with a text message.
1:48p from Maggie: Blaine, are you home?
1:48p from Blaine: I am J I have a sleeping Kurt on me, though. What's up?
1:49p from Maggie: I need some advice….some guy advice? If you have time? Can I come over?
1:50p from Blaine: Mags you don't need to ask, come on over. Door's open.
1:51p from Maggie: be right there
Sebastian was coming out the door to his apartment to grab his mail when he nearly ran into Maggie in the hallway.
"Ms. Maggie, how are you this fine day?" he said, his manners intact for the time being.
"I'm well, Sebastian, thank you for asking. And you? You're looking chipper today." She smiled.
"I am chipper. I had fun company last night, and got to watch Hummel make an ass of himself in front of his dad this morning, so that was the best start to my day." He smirked. Maggie just shook her head at him and rolled her eyes. From what she's seen of Kurt, he was a sweet guy, and her kids adored him instantly. She didn't take kindly to Seb baiting him for any reason, and that's what she felt was going on.
"What is it with you two? Why don't you get along anyway?" Maggie asked.
"I'm sure we'd get along just fine if Blaine weren't in the picture. As it is, I want Blaine, but unfortunately, so does Hummel. I'm willing to give him enough rope to hang himself, but I won't hold back forever. Eventually Blaine will want a real man in his bed, and I'll be here waiting with open arms." He sneered. "Hummel's a wreck. He doesn't know what the hell he wants. Fortunately for me, I do. And I intend to get it."
"Hmmmm, I see. And has anyone asked Blaine what HE wants?" she smiled, leaning up against Blaine's door. "I mean, it kind of stands to reason that you might want to see how Blaine feels in all of this, right?" Seb sneered, then laughed out loud.
"Are you implying that Blaine would pick Hummel over me if he didn't feel sorry for him? Oh Maggie, I'm hurt!" Sebastian mocked, holding his hand over his heart. "Please…I don't even want to go into that mess of a conversation. It doesn't deserve the time or the effort." He spat.
"And why, exactly, would Blaine feel sorry for Kurt?" she questioned.
"Seriously? Have you seen the guy? We're talking about the same Kurt, right? He can't even be in the same room with people without freaking out! The guy's a basket case!" he retorted. "Clearly Blaine feels that he should be there as a friend, because face it, there aren't exactly people banging down the guy's door to hang out with him, right?"
With her hand on the door, Maggie turned to walk into Blaine's apartment, throwing over her shoulder to a retreating Sebastian, "I dunno, I saw him with YOUR ex the other day…" and then she shut the door. She didn't stick around long enough to see the look of sheer irritation on Seb's face as he descended the stairs to the mailboxes.
"Hi, babe!" Blaine mock whispered as she came in the door. Kurt was still curled up in his lap sound asleep and he was not even considering moving.
"Hey," Maggie said, leaning over to kiss his cheek and then sinking into the chair closest to the door. "What's with sleeping beauty?" she said, nodding at Kurt.
"Long night, I think." Blaine smiled. "What's with Seb? I hope he's not harassing you?"
"No, just being what I'm coming to realize is 'himself' in the big scheme of things."
"I see…and what is Sebastian being besides annoying and full of himself?" Blaine asked, snickering. Seb had retrieved his mail and was walking past Blaine's door when he heard his name, so he stopped to listen. Clearly any conversation that mentioned him was going to be important, so hey, why not?
"He was explaining to me why he thought you were hanging out with Kurt instead of him. The fact that Kurt's a little jumpy makes him think you're just pitying him and that's why you're not falling into his lap, apparently." She grinned. Blaine rolled his eyes.
"Is the man blind? Does he not see this overwhelmingly adorable man perched in my lap all snuggled up? Maggie, I'm…God I'm over the moon for him. Look at him!" he smiled. "He's perfect. I don't know what the hell I ever did for Karma to drop Kurt into my life, but I'd do it 100 more times just to keep him here with me. He's amazing." Blaine gushed, clearly in love if Maggie were any judge.
"I see…so you kinda like him, eh?" she teased. Blaine rolled his eyes and shook his head.
"Kinda, yeah."
"Seb did say something that got me thinking, though. He mentioned the fact that Kurt's kind of wigged out being around people. What's up with that?" Maggie asked, concern clear in her voice.
Blaine hesitated, not knowing how much he should reveal of Kurt's past. It wasn't his story to tell, but then again, he wanted Maggie to understand that Kurt wasn't just standoffish. He had been through a traumatic event, and that's what caused his unease around others.
"Mags, I'm going to tell you this, because I to don't think Kurt would mind, but please, let him bring it up to you in the future, would you? I feel odd revealing things about his personal life that he may or may not want to share, but I think it's important for you to know, especially with the kids hanging around and everything." Blaine stated firmly. Sebastian was riveted to the spot outside the door, nearly pressing his ear to the stained wood to hear what was going on.
"Ok, um…I'll just go with the basics here. Kurt's from Ohio, you knew that right?" Blaine asked, and Maggie nodded. "Ok, when he was back there, he dated this guy for a bit. Started out fine, ended horribly…beyond horribly. Kurt ended up in the hospital for weeks and the other guy ended up in jail. There was…um…abuse. I'll leave it at that. Anyway, I'm sure you can understand that something like that is hard to walk away from unscathed. It took its toll on him, and it's really hard for him to get past stuff sometimes. He's trying, he's working his way up to being 'back to normal' and I think he's doing a fantastic job. Unfortunately, the guy was recently released from prison, and Kurt said he thought he saw him the other night…here, in town. Needless to say, it's really on his mind, and he's not sleeping well."
"Oh my God, Blaine…I…I had no idea. I mean, I knew something must have happened when he told Evee in the hospital that he'd spent time in a hospital before, but that's just horrible!" she said quietly.
"Yeah, well, like I said, he's doing a bit better with me, from when we first met, anyway. I hate the look of fear in his eyes sometimes if I touch him in the wrong place or when he's not expecting it. It kills me." Blaine said, closing his eyes and dropping his chin to his chest, still running his fingers through Kurt's hair softly.
"I'm glad you told me, Blaine. It makes a lot more sense now, to me, why Kurt stiffened up so much when I hugged him the other day. I had no idea…." She said, trailing off. They both fell silent, seemingly lost in their own thoughts for a minute or two.
Sebastian stood outside the door listening intently with the trademark smirk on his face. He'd caught every word and was quite intrigued. A little more research might be in order, and he had the contacts to get that done. "What else is in your past, Hummel?" he said silently, letting himself back into his apartment.
"So you said you needed to ask me something?" Blaine prompted after a few silent minutes.
"OH! Yeah, well…um…you know I'm dating that guy, right? And so I really…" she trailed off, wondering how much to say. "I didn't want to get serious with him, and I know it's still early…way too early to be 'serious' but I have some…questions. I thought maybe you could shed some light on 'em for me? Maybe?" Maggie asked. Blaine was intrigued. He smiled and shrugged.
"Ok, hit me. How can I help?"
"Alright…well, this is a weird conversation, Blaine. It's just that…like I said, I'm starting to really like him, but I get the feeling he doesn't keep women around for long. He's said things before about past relationships that make me think that maybe….Oh I don't know!" she burst out, frustrated.
"Ok, Mags, start from the beginning." Blaine said, laughing at her, but trying to be helpful.
"Ok, well, he's charming and handsome. He has a great job and he seems to really like the kids. I have issue with that, because seriously, Blaine, I've dated guys since I've had kids, and guys just aren't into that. I don't want to throw 'em all in the same category, but…well, you know. Raising kids that they more often than not see as 'someone else's mistake' isn't high on the list of most eligible bachelors. And, well, the simple fact that he DOES like them…or seems to…is almost throwing me off!" she huffed out. " I mean, I'm getting suspicious over something that should make me happy. I'm questioning things that are good, and seeing bad things that aren't there. Am I an idiot?"
"Ok, first, no, you're not an idiot. Secondly, you're right to be cautious! Those are your kids, and they're awesome! You don't want to just let them around anyone who could end up hurting them. I think they're cool, honestly, and they're really well behaved, they have good manners and all that stuff, and they're uber smart, but it's not for everyone, like you said. Would I turn you away because of them if I was on your team? Hell no! I'd consider it a bonus…but you're right. Many guys aren't that way. It's not a 'fault' per se, but it's just not for everyone, ya know? Has he given you reason to think he's playing you or not being totally honest about how he feels about them?" Blaine asked, clearly interested.
"No…none at all. I guess that's why I'm worried. He's just too good to be true, and if it seems too good to be true, it generally is." She pouted. "I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop and I'm afraid I'll be devastated when it does. I've fallen hard and fast, Blaine. He's…well, I think he's had quite the past with women. I don't dare ask, but from what I've picked up, it's been a whirlwind of relationships, long and short. I don't want to be a number, and I don't know how to tell him that without sounding like I'm accusing him of being a player." She grinned. "Yeah, I said player, don't smirk at me!"
"You know what I'm going to say, don't you?" he asked, his cheeks rosy from keeping his laughter in. Maggie just raised her eyes at him. "Mags, there is no relationship at all without honesty first. Trust comes in a super close second in my book. If you feel this way, you need to be honest with him and trust that he won't blow up at you. Sit down and talk to him about it. Tell him you're worried, and why. Better to get it all out in the open now, and not wait days, weeks, months and then find out something you wish you'd known earlier. Put him on the spot. You have two very good reasons to question him until you're blue in the face…and he is too."
"You're right. I knew you'd know what to say, and what to do. I can't believe I went 28 years without having a best gay, Blaine, and I'm so glad you finally got here!" she laughed. "I want you to…um….meet him. My guy."
"Your guy who, still, remains nameless?" Blaine poked at her.
"Yeah, well, I'm a private person." She grinned, mischievously.
"Mags, we're in New York City. I've lived here a matter of months. What are the odds that I'd know the guy, seriously?!" he said, giving her a hard time.
"I know, I know, but I don't want you saying "oh, how's Bob!?" if you see me out, and God forbid I'm not with Bob, you know?" she laughed.
"His name's Bob? Is he aware that he spells his name backwards?" Blaine deadpanned.
"Blaine! Focus!" she said, flinging a pillow at his head, nearly missing Kurt. "Ok, for simplicity's sake, we'll call him Andy, how's that?" she said, smirking at him.
"Andy it is. Is Andy worthy of you and the kids, Mags?" he asked, serious now. She gave a big sigh, closed her eyes and shrugged.
"I don't know, Blaine, but I sure hope so. He's not perfect, but he's worth it. You know what I mean? The little imperfections are easy to overlook with all the other great things about him. I hope he's worthy. We're going out tonight. Maybe I'll sit him down and bring up the kids after dinner?" she said, standing.
"Well, have fun, be safe. Who has the kids tonight, then?"
"Helen's going to keep them at her place for a bit, and if it gets late, she's going to put them in their own beds and hang out at my place. Try explaining to a four and six year old why they can't go out on a date with me." She laughed.
"Surely you had to leave them with someone when you went out with Josh, didn't you?" Blaine questioned.
"That would have required him taking me out, Blaine. Ever." She said, sadly. "It's just one more reason I hope I'm not falling too fast. He's very good to me, and I don't want to fall because of it."
"Well, Mags, I'm here. If you need anything at all, I'm here. And if he hurts you, I'm going to kick his ass, so you might want to warn him now that he has to treat you right." Blaine smiled. Maggie leaned over and kissed his forehead, before brushing Kurt's hair off of his forehead and kissing him as well.
"Thanks, B. Take care of our boy, here, ok? Sounds like he's going to need people to lean on until he gets back to himself. Tell him to count me in, alright? Give him a hug for me when he wakes up. And thanks…really…for letting me ramble." She smiled. Maggie gave a short wave of her fingers as she let herself out the door. As the latch clicked, Kurt shifted his body and Blaine smiled down at him. He snuffled around a bit more before blinking one eye open and smiling at Blaine.
"Hey." Kurt said sleepily.
"Hey yourself, beautiful." Blaine replied, a big grin on his face. "Sleep well?"
"Better than I have since the last time I woke up between your legs." Kurt said casually, then caught himself. "I mean…oh my gaga, that sounded wrong…really just….not what I meant and….oh shit." He mumbled, sitting up a little bit. Blaine could barely contain his laughter, and finally it spilled out.
"I should really just not say anything at all for the first 10 minutes after I wake up. Sheeesh! Blaine, I didn't mean…good Lord!" Kurt said, still blushing.
"No harm done, I knew what you meant, Kurt." Blaine said, pulling Kurt back down to his chest and holding him close. "I love snuggling you like this. It's the most amazing thing…this feeling of contentment with you here with me. Is that too much?" Blaine asked, looking at Kurt questioningly.
"No…it's not. I feel the same. I really haven't slept that well in a while. I feel safe with you I guess. I haven't felt that in a long time. Thanks for letting me crash on your sofa…and on you too." He grinned shyly.
"Anytime, Kurt. I'm always here to be your pillow."
"You're too good to me." Kurt said, snuggling back down into Blaine's chest, inhaling his scent and reveling in it. He rubbed his nose into Blaine's shirt a few times like a kitten nuzzling it's mother. Blaine shivered when it tickled him a little bit. Then caught the telltale stir below his belt.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." Kurt apologized.
"You…you didn't. Not at all…actually…you um…" he trailed off and took a deep breath, eyes closed with a smile on his face. "You're going to have to get used to the fact that you're unbelievably sexy, Kurt, and any little movement while you're sitting like this is um…a little…well, the friction is….very nice." Blaine said, blushing. Kurt played with the idea of springing up from his spot on Blaine's chest, but thought better of it and just raised his eyes to Blaine's.
"Does that bother you? Because I have to be honest…it doesn't bother me at all." He said, wondering where that spurt of courage came from.
"Not in the least." Blaine replied, a bit breathy now.
"Good. I'm glad to hear that." Kurt said, biting his bottom lip. Without thinking, he reached up and curled his fingers into the curls at Blaine's nape and tugged just a little bit. Blaine didn't need to be asked twice, and leaned in slowly to meet Kurt's lips. The kiss was soft and slow at first, both taking their time and just feeling their way around. Neither man was in a hurry to push things further, so they just snuggled together kissing softly and savoring each other. Hours could have gone by and Blaine wouldn't have cared. The feeling of Kurt in his arms willingly kissing him was something he had frequently dreamed of…both day and night. He'd find himself daydreaming of holding Kurt this way and then hours later waking up from a dream of Kurt in his arms and wondering how long he'd have to wait for Kurt to feel comfortable enough to do this. And here he was. Kurt had initiated a kiss, and he wasn't backing down. Blaine was euphoric.
He finally had to pull back for air and he stared into Kurt's beautiful eyes, the colors twisting there making it impossible to name just one.
"My god, you're just…so much. I can't find the words, Kurt. I adore you, do you know that? In this short time that I've known you, I've come to just want to be with you so much and…" Blaine began, but drew back a bit when he saw uncertainty in Kurt's eyes. "Too much, too soon, I'm sorry, Kurt. Don't pull away, please. I'll back off." He backtracked quickly.
"No…no it's not that, Blaine. It's just…I'm just not used to it. For so long I was reminded how plain and ordinary I am, and what a frigid mess, on top of that. It's a bit to take in that you don't see me for what I am, I guess." Kurt said, a hint of sadness in his features.
"Wait…Kurt, I see you perfectly for who you are, and it's not someone plain or ordinary in ANY way. No, don't look away from me. Look at me, look in my eyes, Kurt. I'm not yanking your chain. I'm telling you, in no uncertain terms, that you're the most attractive man I've ever laid eyes on. I'm not saying that to get you to stay. I'm not saying that because it's what I think you want to hear. I'm not saying it because I want to get in your pants. I'm telling you the God's honest truth, Kurt. I'm blown away that someone as beautiful as you, inside and out, wants to spend time with me. I don't feel worthy, really, and I'm just hoping you keep wanting to spend those spare moments with this guy who lives next door and tries to write music, ya know? I'm blessed to have any of your time. I cherish it, so don't sell yourself short." Blaine said, every ounce of sincerity he could muster in his words.
"And here I sit wondering what this amazingly talented singer and songwriter next door sees in a messed up guy like myself." Kurt smiled. "I mean, look at you, Blaine. You're like the alpha gay!" he laughed. You're handsome and strong….you're smart and funny. You take my breath away every time you smile at me. You sure don't spout out 'gay' the way I do when you walk down the street. Who wouldn't want to be with you?" Shaking his head, Kurt leaned up to peck a small kiss on Blaine's mouth quickly, then turned away blushing. "It's no wonder Sebastian is all over you and doesn't see me as much competition."
"Kurt…I don't want him. I want you. Can we at least agree on that much?" Blaine pleaded.
Kurt just shook his head slowly, still not seeing how Blaine wanted him and didn't even glance twice at Seb. He was a handsome guy, he clearly had a decent job, he had a great body…ok, so his personality left a bit to be desired. Kurt snickered to himself.
"Yeah, we can agree on that I guess…if you say so." Kurt answered.
"Good, now can we get back to what we were doing before, because my lips miss you." Blaine smiled in all his cheesy glory.
"You're such a dork!" Kurt laughed, smacking him.
"Yeah, but I'm your dork." Blaine grinned, leaning down to kiss Kurt again.
A/N: So this got away from me a bit. I know it's a lot of dialogue, but bear with me. It's necessary to set up some things for later.
Also, I wanted to say thank you to all the new readers, as well as those of you who have stuck around for a while. I tried very hard to personally thank each person that favorited or followed, but it got a bit overwhelming and I fell behind during the move, so please know that I appreciate each and every one of you that are giving your time to this story. That being said, I'm always interested in what you have to say. I appreciate each and every review and I'm dying to know what you guys are thinking. If you have a minute to spare, leave me a few words if you will? I get an awful lot of notifications, but you all aren't much on commenting, are ya? :) LOL Your feedback helps a lot! Again, thanks to all of you for reading.
A special shout out to whoever rec'd my story on Twitter. I can't thank you enough! You rock!