Updated minor spelling and grammar issues. Nothing big. Enjoy
It is early evening in the world of the living, and Ulquiorra strolled towards his apartment building, sweat beading down the side of his face. It is hot and uncomfortable. While living in the hollow world, he never dealt with such heat, even under Las Noches's canopy. Ulquiorra wiped his brow, entering the building, which was a mind-blowing three degrees cooler. Not an ideal temperature for him at all, but slightly less irritating than outside.
Regardless of his discomfort, he needed to perfect the most basic of the Kidō spells, refusing to rely solely on Murciélago to fight his opponents. He wiped his head again, staring at the sweat on the back of his hand. He could alter his training time to late evening to avoid the blazing heat the sun cast down. "Ting-ting-ting," Ulquiorra glanced at the wooden object under his arm, his eyes narrowing as it continued chiming.
This object has been most annoying the past few days, with its continuous chiming every thirty minutes or so. Why do humans keep these noisy things around? At least make them silent. He pushed past the door to the fourth floor, and his irritation only worsened.
"Knock, Knock!" The auburn-haired girl sung, grinning merrily. Ulquiorra stopped several paces from her, watching as she knocked again. "Hello? Are you home, Ulquiorra?" She questioned the door, fidgeting with her hands.
"Technically, no, I'm not home," he responded curtly. The girl practically jumps out of her skin, clutching her chest as if she'd been harmed. "I'm in no mood for visitors, so if—"
"You're all sweaty looking. Were you training?" She bounded over to him, clasping her hands behind her back with a smile. Now starts her rapid queue of statements and questions, he thought bitterly to himself. "Oh, and what's with the clock under your arm? If you needed to know the time, you could've gotten a wristwatch! Ooh, there's a small store you—
"Enough yammering, woman, what do you want?" Orihime blinked, taking a timid step back as he headed to his door, unlocking it. What possible business does she have here? And why now of all times did she choose to bother him? He side-glanced at her, watching as she fiddled with her hair with a slightly perturbed expression on her face.
Ulquiorra entered his apartment, leaving the door ajar, waiting for her to spit out whatever she needs to tell him. He placed the slightly singed wooden clock back on the wall in his small sitting room. He peered back at Orihime, who stared inside, pulling on a long strand of hair. "I rather not smell like sweat anymore, so state your reasoning for bothering me. I won't ask you again." He turned towards her.
Orihime chuckled, rubbing her head. "Oh yeah, sorry, I just wanted to know that...umm...wait, I mean," she took several steps inside the room. "My friends and I are going to a café soon, and I want you to come with us," she proclaimed, pointing at him. The Espada stared blankly at her. Café? What is a café? "I thought it would be nice for you to meet them." She glanced away, biting her lip. "You...you may not like me very much, but I'm really sure you'll get along with, or a least be able to relate to Ichigo." Ulquiorra narrowed his eyes slightly, studying her. "He's a Soul Reaper like you," she said with a small smile.
"I am not a Soul Reaper." She raised a brow but remained silent. His hollow powers may currently be sealed, but as long as he stayed here, he refused to be lumped together with them. "What is your objective, woman?" He questioned, eyes never leaving hers.
"The other day, when I met your eyes, I felt a deep-rooted sadness—" she rubbed one of her eyes— "that's why I wanted to help you so much. They say a little bit of kindness goes a long way, you know." She frowned, stepping little more than arms-length away from him. "I don't know what may have happened to you, but no one should have to feel like that." Ulquiorra blinked. How he feels—or lack thereof—doesn't concern this girl. Dwelling on meaningless emotions wouldn't benefit his mission at all; it would only be time wasted.
Several silent minutes passed by before he spoke again, his tone just as cold as his stone expression. "Woman, if you wait a bit longer, I will accompany you to the…café."
Orihime blinked as her kind and bubbly aura filled the room. "Really? Oh, I'm so excited! I can't wait for you to meet everyone. They'll brighten your mood right up!" She raised her arms in the air, proceeding to twirl and hop about. He blinked. What in the world is she doing? Perhaps agreeing to go with her wasn't in his best interest if she decided to act like a lunatic.
In truth, he isn't attending this café—whatever that may be—to appease her. It is actually a golden opportunity to naturally make contact with the rest of his targets, even if it meant having to mingle amongst humans in the masses. He also needed a more solidified first report for Aizen. Merely informing him of the girl's strange powers wouldn't be substantial enough as she isn't his primary target. Then again, she did negate both her wounds and his wounds, which is worth noting—
"Are you okay?" A skin-colored blur passed his eyes several times before he focused back on the girl. "You must have really been thinking hard about something," she laughed softly, tilting her head to the side, her brown eyes locking with his. "It happens to me all the time. There's just so much to think about, so I end up getting carried away into my thoughts and can't escape sometimes. Then I even start acting out my daydreams too…" she laughed and continued spewing pointless comments and scenarios about her thought process.
The fourth closed his eyes, wishing he had thread and a needle. He even contemplated ripping the woman's vocal cords out so she would stop her endless chatter. However, that may not be a wise decision on his part. "Alright, enough," Ulquiorra's voice cut through the air like a knife, thankfully silencing the girl in the process. "Sit there." He pointed to the small white sofa across the room. She nodded with a smile and obliged, sitting down with her hands folded neatly on her lap. "Don't touch anything, don't go exploring, just sit there and wait," he ordered firmly.
The woman nodded. "Okey-dokey, I'll be right here when you're done," she sung, turning her gaze to the open window across from her with a small smile.
He watched the woman for a brief second, assuring that she'd stay put before collecting fresh garments and proceeded to his bathroom to quickly wash himself. The less time he left her unsupervised in his residence, the better. Even if he doesn't believe she'd nose about his apartment. The act wouldn't match her personality.
The fourth quickly dressed himself, collecting the small square card holder that contained his human identification card, the human's currency in paper bills, and another plastic card. The last thing he checked for was the gikongan in the small zipper pocket on the back. He nodded, placing the leathery square in his back pocket, and proceeded back to the sitting room.
The woman remained in the same spot on the couch, her head swaying gently back and forth to a tune she hummed, oblivious to the world around her. Perhaps remaining in such a state is the main reason she is always so content. Then again, ignorance is bliss, or so he's heard.
After another minute, she regarded the Espada's presence with a small smile. "Wow," she began, standing up, "you took almost no time in there at all! It takes me almost an hour because I—"
"Your hygienic routine is of no interest to me, woman." Orihime's cheeks darkened slightly, vigorously rubbing her neck. Ulquiorra headed passed the threshold, waiting next to his door while the woman scurried out as well. "Now," he began as a click echoed through the hall after locking his door, "lead the way to this… café."
The auburn-haired girl nodded, skipping to the exit. "Ooh, I can't wait. We're gonna have so much fun," she proclaimed excitedly, disappearing into the stairwell. Ulquiorra merely blinked. Fun, she says. The only fun he'll partake in is the extraction of information from her group of friends.
The outside hadn't cooled much since his training, much to the Espada's annoyance. He wiped his brow, keeping the small beads of sweat from dripping in his eyes. Is it because he is in a gigai that the heat is irking him to such a degree? And he thought the excess weight and stiffness were troublesome enough.
He glanced at the woman strolling next to him. She'd been relatively quiet since leaving, only speaking when they passed a store she frequented. She is especially fond of places that sell small pastries with holes cut in the center called donuts. The shop Handin Donuts is her favorite, claiming they have countless flavors and types of pastries. Ulquiorra closed his eyes, contemplating how she consumed such vast amounts of nutrients yet remained so slender.
The fourth's eyes widened slightly, noticing a slight fluctuation in spiritual pressure as he and the woman stopped in front of a pair of frosted glass doors. There are several brightly colored papers pasted on the windows, advertising human nutrients. "We're here," she sung, entering the quaint building. Ulquiorra reluctantly followed her, entering a warmly lit and sparsely decorated room. The air inside is crisp and cool, far more tolerable than that of the outdoors.
He observed the woman as she spoke to a male human dressed in black, staring impishly at her as he made several poorly worded comments regarding the woman's appearance. Apparently, humans also lack self-control when dealing with someone of the opposite sex, he deduced, recalling several statements he overheard back in Las Noches. Thankfully most knew his lack of interest in the subject and avoided saying lewd comments directly to him. He brushed the thoughts aside, noting that Orihime began walking away.
As he took a step forward, he felt a cool breeze circle his body from above. He curiously peered up, noting a rectangular vent. How intriguing. Humans managed to construct a mechanism that successfully cools an interior room. So, this is how they adapted to the heat produced from the sun—
"Ulquiorra?" He pulled himself from his thoughts, staring at the girl indifferently. "Are you coming?" She asked softly, playing with a lock of hair that fell over her shoulder.
Ulquiorra glanced back up. "It's…cold here," he stated simply, pointing up at the metal vent. Soft giggles echoed through the room. He peered back at the woman, his brow furrowing slightly as she pressed her hand to her mouth in a futile attempt to stifle her laughter. "I find nothing remotely amusing, woman." He calmly strode towards her.
"You, HAHA, you looked…so silly standing there, staring at the AC vent." She managed to somewhat recompose herself. "Anyways, Ichigo, Uryu, and Chad are waiting. Come on." She turned around, walking further inside. AC, he'll need to inquire about purchasing one.
The woman skipped towards a tall booth in the far corner of the room, isolated from the few occupied tables. He blinked, stopping next to her, listening to the orange-haired boy—he presumed to be Ichigo Kurosaki—argue with the boy donning glasses. "Hi, Chad," the woman greeted the only silent person at the table. He waved at her, scooting closer to Uryu to give her room to sit. "This is my new friend Ulquiorra—" she gestured at the Espada— "Ulquiorra, this is Chad." Chad acknowledged him with a nod. "You can sit here," the woman said, patting the space on the booth next to her. He obliged, sitting down with his back straight and his hands neatly clasped on his lap. She smiled at him before turning to Chad, inquiring why the Soul Reaper and the Quincy fought.
Ulquiorra peered between the pair across the table, Ichigo occasionally slamming his fist down as if to emphasize the point he's trying to make. "…oh, just shut up already, Uryu!" Ichigo chided, his brow twitching irately. "Your constant nagging is—"
CRASH!
Ulquiorra's eyes widened as a cold liquid gushed over the edge of the table, soaking his pants. His brow twitched as his body shivered involuntarily while the Soul Reaper and the Quincy gawked in his general direction. Fools. He declared, beginning to regret accompanying the girl next to him.
The table jutted forward as the woman hopped up from her seat, "AH! C-COLD!" she shouted, her body trembling from the ice water coating her right leg.
"Wh—Orihime? When'd you—eh, never mind! Uh…excuse me!" Ichigo frantically waved over a girl dressed in black, explaining they needed towels.
"Now look what you did, Ichigo," Uryu accused as he sat the now empty pitcher upright. "You spilled water all over Orihime, and," he turned his attention to Ulquiorra. The fourth merely side-glanced at him before returning to sopping up the water on his lap. "Her…friend…" the Quincy's eyes narrowed at him.
Ichigo shot Uryu a glare, handing the woman his napkin. "I'm sorry, Orihime, and…uhh—"
"This is Ulquiorra. Remember I told you about him the other day," she explained, taking his napkin and patting the large wet spot on her leg. Ichigo blinked, nodding in understanding.
The fourth looked at her, wondering if she'd told the Soul Reaper about the minor skirmish in the park. She showed no restraint revealing Ichigo's powers to him, not that it mattered; he'd find out eventually. "Uh…yeah, I remember," he started, rubbing the base of his neck. "He got lost or something, and you helped him." The woman nodded, wiping off her seat.
"Here you go," Ulquiorra turned his attention to the new voice. She held a small stack of white towels in one hand while she offered him one with the other. He took it, continuing his futile attempt to soak up the remaining liquid on his waterlogged pants. He closed his eyes, forcing his body to halt its shivering. He disliked this gigai and its poor temperature regulation. "Alright," the serving girl began as she finished drying the table. "While I'm here, I might as well take your orders." She smiled, turning her attention to Ulquiorra. "So, what'll it be?" she asked, pulling a pad of paper and a pen from the pocket of her apron.
Ulquiorra blinked, "What'll what be?" he asked monotonously, staring at the serving girl.
She raised a brow, tapping the pen on the paper. "Your order, Sir."
"…"
She sighed, placing one hand on her hip. "Hello?" her voice held a harsh undertone to it, rolling her eyes. "What'll you have to drink?"
"Tea," Ulquiorra said.
"Tea. Got it," she muttered, scribbling on her pad, before staring back at him. "And?"
"…" What more did she want from him? He questioned, glancing around the table, noting how the other occupants stared at him with baffled expressions—aside from Uryu, he simply glared at him. His brows knitted together, irritated at his lack of knowledge for something so obviously basic…for humans anyway.
She flung her arms at her sides, clenching her fists as her expression darkened. "Don't you want a sandwich or something to go with your tea, Sir?"
Ulquiorra nodded. To properly maintain this body, he'd need to consume other nutritious foods and not only the rice balls that lined the shelves in his refrigeration unit. He doubted they had much nutritional value, to begin with. "Yes."
"Okay, what kind?" She asked, preparing to write again.
"…"
The serving girl glared at him. "The menu is on this wall," she growled, pointing at a colorful board several feet from the table. "Read through it while I take your friends' orders." She turned to Ichigo first, asking him what he wanted.
Ulquiorra read through the board, which only confused him. He doesn't know what anything is, aside from water, several teas, and rice balls, and there are multiple types of those. Why do humans require such a wide variety of food if it's simply used as energy for the body? In truth, one specific meal containing the correct nutrients is all that's required to function correctly.
"You're thinking pretty hard over there," the Soul Reaper commented. "I think I can see the smoke coming from your head." He has no idea.
Ulquiorra peered at him. "I'm unsure of which combination of food and beverage to purchase."
Ichigo nodded, scratching his head. "I'm getting curry. It's good. Why don't you try that since you don't know what you want?" he offered.
"No, I think trying the Mackerel Miso Soup is best, in my opinion," Uryu interjected, pushing up his glasses. "It may not be homemade, but it's good."
"What? That stuff smells funny, Uryu. You trying to trick him?" Ichigo accused.
"I was giving a suggestion! I didn't say he had to get it!" the Quincy retorted, folding his arms over his chest.
"Well, your suggestions don't matter if they suck!" The Soul Reaper griped, placing a hand on the side of his mouth, blocking out the other boy. "Just ignore him. It's what everyone else does."
"I can still hear you, Ichigo!"
Why is his master intrigued by these humans? Ichigo isn't much of a threat even with the spiritual pressure he possessed, and the Quincy didn't have any, to begin with. Even with most of his powers sealed, Yasutora Sado's presence is weak in comparison. He'd need to observe them in a battle to gain a more accurate assessment of their current abilities. Even the Quincy may have some surprises he's unaware of. Ulquiorra then glanced at the woman, who shook her head in disdain as Ichigo and Uryu argued across the table. She may lack power. However, her abilities are versatile and can be used in a multitude of different situations.
"It's hot outside," the dark-skinned boy stated, capturing everyone's attention. "So, a cold cut sub…with tomatoes." Ichigo smirked, muttering something along the lines of it being Chad's typical choice when they came here.
"Ooh! Ooh!" the woman interjects, bouncing around in her seat. "Since everyone else gave you suggestions, here's mine. Okay, you need to get…" She spewed many different things, her words running together, forming a gibberish mess Ulquiorra couldn't begin to understand. He mustn't have been the only one confounded by her words, considering the strained and somewhat nauseous gazes of her friends. Even the serving girl stared at her oddly. "…and you cannot forget the red bean paste. It's essential. Or the wasabi and ice cream. It's so yummy!"
The serving girl finished jotting down Orihime's order before turning back to Ulquiorra with narrow eyes. "What do you want, Sir?" she asked once again, her grip on her pen causing her knuckles to turn white.
"I require a cup of black tea, and," he peered around the table. He disregarded the woman's suggestion as it contained too many different food combinations, and he didn't want to overstimulate his sense of taste—
"And?" The serving girl grumbled.
"…the…curry he ordered," Ulquiorra pointed at Ichigo, who smirked triumphantly and gloated to the Quincy next to him. The serving girl quickly wrote it down and practically sprinted away from the table and disappeared.
"…just shut up, Ichigo," Uryu grumbled and turned his narrow eyes back at the Espada. "So, Ulquiorra, what made you come here…to Karakura town that is?" he questioned, staring Ulquiorra down.
"My reason for coming here is none of your concern," he retorted, shoving his hands in his still damp pockets, returning a blank expression towards the boy.
Uryu eyed him suspiciously, leaning back against the booth. "Then where'd you come from?"
"That is also of no importance to you." Ulquiorra blinked, an interrogation, how fitting. He expected that at least one of Ichigo's friends would be suspicious of him. Uryu most likely sensed his spiritual pressure or looked at his soul ribbon's color. Not answering is only making his suspicions grow. However, making something up without a solid grasp on how humans live could prove dangerous and create more problems for him later.
"Just answer the questions. They're not hard—"
"Come on, Uryu," Ichigo chimed in, "there's no point in breaking his arm if he doesn't want to answer your questions. We just met the guy."
Uryu sighed and shook his head. "I see you're just as incompetent as usual, Ichigo."
"Huh? What'd you—"
"Here you all go." The serving girl appeared next to the table, quickly setting square dishes in front of everyone. "I hope you enjoy," she grumbled, quickly glaring at Ulquiorra before heading off.
"Tsk, what's her problem?" Ichigo muttered to himself as he started eating.
Ulquiorra observed the steaming plate with a chunky, brownish-red broth sloshed over a pile of white rice. Growl. He blinked, placing a hand on his midsection feeling slight movement. Is this what hunger feels like? He doesn't remember the last time he'd eaten, as it is pointless being an Arrancar.
A small tap on his left arm pulled him from his thoughts. He side-glanced at the smiling woman. "Your food's going to get cold if you just stare at it, plus your stomach is talking. You need to fill it to make it happy." She tucked her hair behind her ear, returning to her meal.
The Espada picked up the silver utensil, scooping up a small bite at first, then a more generous second one, and a third…and a fourth until not a spec of rice remained. Sure enough, the strange noises stopped but were replaced by a slight discomfort in his abdomen. Perhaps he overfilled himself after devouring the meal. "Told you the curry here was good."
Ulquiorra wiped his face with a dry napkin. "It was acceptable," he stated plainly, sipping at his Tea.
Ichigo smirked as he placed his cutlery down with a soft ting. "Acceptable? You scarfed that down like you haven't eaten in a month." The irony, Ulquiorra pondered, hearing the scrapes stopping as everyone finished their food. Just then, the serving girl dropped a narrow sheet of paper in front of Ichigo, scurrying away before anyone could say anything to her.
"Ichigo, how much did my food come to?" Orihime asked as she pulled a small worn bag from her front pocket.
Ichigo waved her off. "Eh, don't worry about it. I'll pay for you and Ulquiorra as an apology. Though it was mostly Uryu's fault," he said, pointing his thumb at him before he dropped several paper bills on the table and stood up.
"My fault? If you weren't banging on the table, that whole situation could've been avoided," chastised Uryu as he scooted out from the booth.
Ulquiorra ignored the bickering pair as he stood from his seat, his pants still considerably wet and weighty. He simply wished to return to his residence and be done with this disorderly group for the time being. "Oh no," the woman cried in dismay. The fourth turned to her, watching her miserable attempt to cover the wet part of her pants with her shirt. "You're lucky, Ulquiorra. You have black pants on, so the water on you isn't as noticeable."
"Luck doesn't exist—" he shoved his hands in his pockets— "It is water and water drys. So, refrain from fussing over it."
The woman's cheeks darkened as she straightened her posture. "Yeah, it's only water," she smiled, anxiously threading her fingers through her hair. Ulquiorra nodded, heading to the exit followed by Orihime and Chad, noting that Ichigo and Uryu had already left the building.
Ulquiorra shivered after stepping outside as a chilly wind greeted him. Only seconds later, his ears picked up on the Soul Reaper and Quincy's raised voices. He sighed softly. "Enough," the fourth started, stopping several paces away from them, earning perturbed stares. "This quarreling of yours is annoying," his voice was calm and even as he watched them process his words.
Just as Ichigo's mouth opened, the woman hopped in front of him. "You two are friends, right, so you shouldn't be fighting like this," she spoke soothingly. Ulquiorra watched as she pacified her friends. "See, don't you feel better no—"
A massive wind blew through the street, nearly making the Espada lose his footing. What? He focused his eyes down the road where the gust had come from, noting an immense spiritual pressure flowing around him. There weren't supposed to be any other Arrancar present in the world of the living, apart from himself. Aizen specifically made him aware of it.
Another gust smashed against him, knocking him to his knees, his arm blocking the wind from his face. Ulquiorra didn't recognize the Arrancar's spiritual pressure. He narrowed his eyes, concluding that someone wanted to jeopardize his mission…at least, that is currently the most likely explanation. The Arrancar steadily grew closer, and the gusts came more frequently. Which one of them decided to toy with his mission? Grimmjow perhaps? He enjoyed making things difficult for him.
"Santen Kesshun!" the woman shouted as her shield appeared, blocking the wind. "W-what is that?" She questioned as everyone congregated safely around her.
Ulquiorra rose back to his feet, peering behind him. Ichigo discarded his human body—that lay awkwardly on the ground—in change for his shihakusho and Zanpakuto. His spiritual pressure seemed to fluctuate again, this time more violently. "I've never felt spiritual pressure like this before," Ichigo stated, unsheathing his sword. "Chad, Uryu," he began, glancing at his friends. "Stay here and protect Orihime and Ulquiorra." Is he really this inept at sensing spiritual pressure? He is the last person who needs protection.
"What? You can't just rush in there, Ichigo! We don't know exactly what it is. We need to make a plan first," Uryu countered.
Chad nodded his head, "Uryu's right, Ichigo." Ulquiorra watched with mild curiosity as a liquid-like substance coated Chad's arm before forming into an armor of sorts. "We can help."
Ichigo was quiet, looking away from them. "I don't want you getting hurt," he said softly, clutching his sword. The Quincy—with his lack of power—would only prove useful in strategic maneuvers. The other boy, he isn't sure what that armor he has could do. Even so, the Arrancar would easily wound if not kill him. "I can't risk you all getting hurt!" He half-shouted, taking off in the direction of the approaching ment by Frances Pyne: Revise in the future
Ulquiorra closed his eyes. As unstable as he is, Ichigo is the only one of the four with a slight chance of winning against this opponent. However, he'd be near death afterward. The other three would simply be slaughtered. "Ulquiorra…" the woman called, her voice pleading. He turned to her, already aware of what she wanted. "…can you…can you help Ichigo win?"
The Espada knew things would come to this. He already felt Ichigo's spiritual pressure flaring in distress, even after releasing his Bankai. How does the Soul Reaper expect to protect his friends when he can hardly protect himself from the trash he's fighting? Ulquiorra retrieved the card holder from his pocket with a quiet sigh, recalling one of Aizen's objectives. Keep Ichigo Kurosaki alive. "I will intervene, however—" he swallowed the Gikongan— "I'm not doing so because you asked." He stepped away from his gigai, ordering it to stay in one piece.
"I knew it!" announced the Quincy as he pointed an accusing finger at him. "You are a Soul Reaper."
Ulquiorra didn't acknowledge the boy. Instead, he used his Sonido to close the gap between himself and the Arrancar. Aside from witnessing Ichigo Kurosaki's abilities firsthand, he needed to figure out why the Arrancar is here in the first place. He stopped a fair distance away, watching as Ichigo was thrown into a building, shooting glass projectiles everywhere.
The bottom half of the Arrancar's face was exposed while the rest of it was covered. Three red circles under its eyes stood out against the white of its mask. Ulquiorra's brow furrowed at the familiar markings. Apparently, she's come back from her mission and knows his whereabouts.
Ulquiorra brushed aside the thought, raising his hand and pointing at the Arrancar's white-clothed body, chanting the lengthy incantation. "…Hadō number four, Byakurai," he finished monotonously as a blue bolt of energy erupted from his finger towards his target.
Author's Note:
I hope you all enjoyed it. I tried to keep it light-hearted and attempted some humor. I figured Ulquiorra would get fairly confused in social situations considering he is a hollow, and only knows the basics about human life.
I also hope I didn't go overbored with Uryu and Ichigo's bickering, but I always found their relationship amusing in the show.
I'll see you next chapter!
P.S. a lot of Kido spells don't have known incantations so when they're used, I'll probably put an ellipse and say they said it. I have no idea how Kubo created them because in my head they sound like random words sloshed together to make a spell unless you squint then they...can make sense. I don't know that's just how I'm gonna do it.