CHAPTER 56
The noise that exited Jeff's mouth when he saw Nick was something that both frightened Blaine and made him want to laugh out loud. He sounded like a cross between a wounded animal and a sniveling child. He couldn't deny that he had chills, though, and he felt close to crying himself. Jeff hid his feelings well. He buried them deep and put on a brave face. All this time Blaine had been asking him how he was doing and if he was holding up ok. Jeff had dutifully answered that he was fine, that he was dealing well, and that he'd let him know if he needed to talk…yet he never said a word. All this time he'd been suffering in silence. But to look at him now….well, Blaine was certain he'd never, in all their time together, seen his best friend this happy.
Blaine felt like a voyeur, but he couldn't look away. His two friends were giddy and stupidly happy, holding each other like their lives depended on it and he wasn't sure, but he thought they were both crying. Clearly, they were tears of joy. Neither spoke at first, but then the words began to trickle out a little at a time, so he walked away into the kitchen with a sappy grin on his face and wet eyes.
"Don't go, don't leave me….don't ever leave me again. I was dying inside just a little more every day, Jeff." Nick blubbered out.
"Not…not leaving you ever. I can't…it'll kill me. These last weeks have been an emotional roller coaster that never stopped to let me off. I was stuck going round and round and…and I just needed off of that ride and back to you. I was calling you….I was going to call you tonight…." He said, another round of happy sobbing taking over and making him sniffle.
"Tonight?" Nick smiled.
"I couldn't…I just…I needed you. I needed us, Nicky. Oh my GOD, you're a sight for sore eyes." He said, his hands on Nick's cheeks so he could stare right into his eyes. "I think my chest is going to burst open if my heart doesn't slow down. Come sit with me?" he said, leading Nick to the sofa.
"I'm…uh…I'm gonna go hang next door for a little bit, guys, ok?" Blaine said, grinning like a proud parent at his friends.
Jeff got up from the sofa and walked over to Blaine, throwing his arms around his friend. "How'd you know? How'd you know to bring him here?" he smiled.
"I didn't really. I kinda screwed up and uh…." Blaine said, scratching the back of his neck. "I was so excited when Irene said she'd sell the building to me that I slipped up and mentioned to her that you were staying here. I didn't even realize what I said until we were walking back and Nick said something." He said, looking guilty.
"You TOLD him?" Jeff said, laughing.
"Not on purpose!" Blaine laughed back. "It just slipped! Besides, he already knew!" Both men turned to look at Nick, one knowingly and the other surprised and confused.
"I was here to look over the property with Blaine and when we came through the first time, there was a phone on the counter that wasn't his. I've seen his phone…it has this lock screen of this amazingly beautiful blonde guy and….well, anyway, it wasn't his. And when we came back, there was a carry out coffee cup on the counter that said 'just Jeff please' on it. It had either been sitting there an awfully long time since your last visit or someone named Jeff had recently brought coffee back." He smiled.
"I hope you're not angry with me, Nicky. I had to be close to you. I needed to be as near to you as possible, even if I couldn't be with you." Jeff said sheepishly.
"I couldn't be mad at you, Pretty Boy. I love you too much. I'm touched that you wanted to be close to me. I missed you so much." Nick said, his voice hitching again. "And you're too far away already. Come sit with me?" he asked, patting the seat right next to him.
"And that's my cue. I'm out!" Blaine said, walking to the door. "Oh…um…you wanna call Puck and see if he's free tonight or…?" When he turned back around, Jeff was already on Nick's lap and they were snuggled up together exchanging a smattering of kisses. "Orrrr, I guess I could do that for you if you want?"
"Mmhmmm….you do it?" Nick mumbled. There was something else that may have been "please" but it was muffled by Jeff's face and a whimper as he nipped on Nick's bottom lip.
"Consider it done, my friend. If he can't do it, I'll let you know." Blaine said, walking out the door.
"I kinda thought the first time I saw you again I'd want to rip your clothes off and ravish you, but I'm content to just sit here and hold you." Nick said. Jeff's face fell, his eyes watered up and his lip began to tremble. "Baby…what? It's not that I don't want to, it's just that-" he began.
"No, I know it's…I'm so sorry, Nicky. I'm so fucking sorry for leaving you like that…for doing that to you. But I had to. I knew I was leaving…that I couldn't stay. Not with things the way they were. I knew there was no way in hell I could leave without having made love to you first. Then it was over and I all but drugged you and disappeared. I'm so damn sorry!" Jeff said, attempting to be calm, but losing it instead. "But you….you wouldn't have let me….let me leave and I was scared for you if I stayed…and….."
"Jeff, please…honey, look at me. Jeffrey!" he said, more sternly, in an attempt to get Jeff's attention. The blonde wouldn't even meet his eyes.
"I've never been so ashamed of having done something in my whole life, Nicky. Ok, maybe once before, but oh god, I left. I left and went home to get my stuff from the apartment. David helped me box up what was salvageable. We rented a storage unit and dumped everything inside and I met my mom and told her I was coming right back here. I rode in a bus with an obnoxious kid from hell behind me for 14 hours to get back here and then I think I slept for two days or something. I didn't want to wake up. I didn't want to think about or admit what I'd done to you. I felt sick, like I'd taken something from you and then fled. I couldn't shake it, Nicky." Jeff babbled out quickly, his eyes wide and scared looking. "I'm sorry…I'm so fucking sorry!" he said, breaking down.
"Oh my God, Jeff…baby, please…it's ok. I'm alright, I'm not angry. I wasn't angry then and I'm certainly not angry now. Please look at me." Nick begged. "Jeff…hey." He said, placing his fingers under Jeff's chin and lifting it so that he could see in the man's eyes. "Don't do this to yourself. Do not do this, Jeff. We're good, nothing is wrong. I love you, I'll never stop loving you. If anything, that night allowed me to go on knowing that there were things to keep trying for…things that I wanted badly enough to fight for 'em. I'll always fight for you, Jeff. Always. We're ok, Pretty Boy." He said, holding the blonde as closely as possible. "My god I've missed you." He whispered into the soft hair his face was currently buried in. "Just hold me…."
"Ok, I'm here. Put me to work!" Blaine said, walking through the door to Kurt's apartment after calling Puck.
"Really?!" Kurt exclaimed! "I'm so swamped with stupid little things that are taking up way too much time. Will you just help me straighten up some?"
"I'm happy to do it if it'll keep that amazing smile on your face, beautiful." Blaine smile at him.
"Cheeseball!" Kurt grinned, rolling his eyes. "So what time do you have to be to work tonight?"
"Um, well, I should go in around 7. There's bound to be a lot of stocking and straightening to do. Some new guy started and he really doesn't know what he's doing yet, and he usually does a half assed job, so it takes me longer to do MY stuff. If I get in there and just get it done, I have a few minutes to chill out before we play. Mickey's got us going on around 10 now, which is weird. Yeah, we all get paid for an extra hour, but it's a long night, believe me!" I can come back and get you if you don't want to go at 7 with me? It'll be boring that early, anyway."
"Don't be silly. I'll show up at 10, and I'll take a cab there. No worries. You go, get your stuff done and I'll be there later. You sure Ron doesn't mind if I sit with him on the sidelines?" Kurt asked.
"Nope, he's pretty laid back. If it bothered him, he'd say something. You're good to go. So, ok, tell me what you want me to do here!" Blaine said, excited to get his hands on all of the goodies Kurt had laying around.
"Ok, starting simple: all of these files are for a different model with a different swatch of fabric attached. I need to put them all in numerical order by the number on the top right corner, not the one on the top left. Easy enough, right?" Kurt smiled.
"Absolutely…except that there are a billion of them!" Blaine laughed. "I'm on it, don't worry." He said, and started picking up the files and placing them in a box in order.
They worked for hours together, sometimes talking, sometimes in silence. More than once Kurt caught Blaine watching him, staring, and smiling. It made his belly flutter and his heart race. He was so smitten with this man it was insane. When they ran out of things to do, Blaine sat to watch Kurt work and stole his phone, looking through the pictures, checking out his apps and games and then messing around with the text messages. Someone named Mercedes texted back to tell Kurt that "his white boy ass had clearly lost his mind…" and the both laughed hilariously.
When Kurt later saw Blaine on his own phone and got a text at the same time, he shook his head and huffed out a breath, giving Blaine the "really?" look.
6:14p from Brian: Dear Kurt, You've been sitting over there with that mop head for hours and you have neglected to feed me properly. I expect that you will remedy the situation post haste?
Kurt read the text and gave Blaine a dirty look, but Blaine didn't look up at all. Actually, from the sound of things, it seemed as if Blaine was in the middle of a game of Candy Crush and wouldn't have been able to text that to him anyway. Odd…. He grinned, nonetheless and got up to feed Brian, who came tearing in from the bedroom to eat.
"Very funny….now you better get going or you'll be late. Thank you for your help today, though. As you can plainly see, it looks much better in here, and I work better in a tidy spot…..so yes, thank you." Kurt said, smiling at his Adonis, curling up to him in the doorway.
"You are very welcome, good sir." Blaine said, winking at him. "I'll see you tonight then?"
"10 pm, I'll be there." Kurt said, putting his arms around Blaine's neck and leaning in to kiss him.
"Promise? I'm gonna hold you to that." Blaine smiled back, his lips still pressed into a heated kiss that ended with a huge grin.
"I can think of other things I think I'd like you to hold me to as well?" Kurt teased.
"Yeah? You have a list or something? I think that can be arranged."
"Everybody's home, though…we'd have to be quiet tonight."
"I'm always quiet! The last thing I want is Seb listening in!" Blaine stage whispered, knowing Seb could be listening as they spoke. Kurt felt a twitch in his pants at the memory of Blaine biting his own arm in his attempts to remain as quiet as possible when he came. He wiggled against Blaine's hip with a mischievous smirk.
"I wanna make you not so quiet, B….wanna hear you scream for me." Kurt said, kissing his neck and leaving little nips and licks here and there.
"Really, Kurt, now? NOW you wanna leave me in this state when you know I have to go to work?" Blaine said, his forehead rested on Kurt's chest. Kurt just grinned wickedly.
"Sorry….ok, you can go now." He said, shoving Blaine away playfully.
Blaine groaned and slumped over to the door, turning to mouth a kiss at Kurt before he left.
"Tonight…ten o'clock. Be there or be an isosceles trapezoid?" Blaine grinned. "Playtime depends on your appearance this evening!" he said, laughing, then winked and closed the door behind him.
"Goofball!" Kurt yelled after him.
"You love me!" he heard from the hallway, followed closely and loudly by "Niff, I'm at the door, I'm turning the doorknob, and I'm coming in. If there's something I shouldn't see, now is the time to cover your ass and get to your own room!
Snickering, Kurt went back to his sewing to finish up, then started putting away all of his notions when there was a knock at the door.
"Seriously, you just left, why are you knocking?" Kurt asked the door before pulling it open.
"Um….people do that…usually. They don't just walk in…unless they're Sebastian, that is." Hunter said, a sheepish grin on his face.
"Hey." Kurt said with a fond smile and a shake of his head. "I'm really bad about locking it nowadays with Blaine and Jeff next door and how they're in and out all day."
"Can I come in or are you busy? I know I'm later than I said I'd be…I thought I'd be here sooner, but I got held up with some…stuff."
"Come in, come in…" Kurt said, ushering him inside. "I'm putting things away, so I'll be all yours in a few. Blaine wants me to come to the Dive tonight, so I worked all day trying to get these things finished, but now I'm beat. It's not even 7 and they don't play 'til 10. I should have taken a nap when Blaine left this afternoon to meet Nick. I don't know what I was thinking. Well, that ship has sailed, no time for that now, right?" Kurt babbled.
"Ok, then. Well, aren't you chatty tonight?" Hunter chuckled at him.
"Sorry, just so much on my mind. So tell me, what's up. What changed your mind…you know, so you had to admit that I'm right?" Kurt said with a playful sneer and a wink.
"That depends, how long have we got until you have to leave?" Hunter said, eyes downcast and his voice a bit quieter now.
"Ok, spill it. What happened?"
"Well, first of all, I thought a lot about what you said…about asking Sebastian to change everything and not being willing to give any of myself in the trade and all that. I also read each and every text message…several times."
"And did you find anything worth your time?" Kurt asked. Hunter didn't immediately answer, he just twisted his fingers together and shifted nervously.
"Yeah, well…there are things….some things he said that I believe. Others, I'm pretty sure he was stone cold drunk when he sent them. There are a shit ton of messages in my voicemail as well, but one in particular really shook me and made me think. I uh…I was a little stunned, actually, and I doubt he remembers calling me that night or leaving the message. But, suffice it to say that he was very sweet, and he said some things that made a big difference in how I perceived our relationship. So…" he said, taking a deep breath and blowing it out slowly.
"So?" Kurt prompted. When Hunter said nothing, he said it again. "SO? Hunter, spit it out!"
"I uh…I told my parents. Everything. From the very beginning."
"Oh my God…." Kurt breathed out. "Hunter….what did they say?"
"Well….." he began, but stalled. It was a lot to say, a lot to take in.
"Hunt…we don't have to talk about this. I don't want to push you any further than you've been pushed. Do you understand? We can stop here." Kurt told him with deep sincerity.
"No, no, it's ok. I uh…I'm still working things through with my dad. He wasn't thrilled. He wasn't angry, which was a huge relief, but he still isn't overly comfortable with it…with me…around me. The whole visit after I told them was very bizarre. My dad couldn't seem to hold still, he paced the floor, fidgeted in his seat and basically made me a nervous wreck. He didn't yell, but he did eventually get up and excuse himself, telling me that it'd been a long day and he wanted to go upstairs and rest a bit. That's code for 'I'm freaking the fuck out and I don't want anyone else to see it' I think." Hunter said with a shy smile.
"But…but he didn't yell or seem appalled or throw you out or anything, right?" Kurt asked hopefully.
"No, none of those things. And my mom, God love that woman, she was very supportive. After dad went to bed we talked for hours. I had to assure her that should I ever end up in a long term relationship with a man, be it married or not, that I'd consider adopting kids or using a surrogate. I think that was her biggest fear, that there would be no grandkids!" Hunter laughed, feeling a little lighter than he did when he came in. "I'm um…I'm an only child, after all."
"Oh my goodness, Hunter, I'm just….I'm so relieved for you. Have you spoken with your father since then?" Kurt asked.
"Yeah…a couple of times, actually. We went golfing the other day and we talked for a long time afterward. He gave me the 'I don't really know what to say about that…I can't help you if you have questions, and that really upsets me more than anything' speech, but when we came home he hugged me and said that he loved me and there wasn't much in this world that I could manage to do to change that. He asked me for time…time to adjust to it and to learn some 'things' as he called it. We'll see how it goes."
"So are you happy with how things turned out, then?"
"I'm…I'm uh, for right now, yeah. I'm content I guess. It could have ended so much worse, so yeah, I'm good with how things are now with them."
"And Sebastian? Have you spoken with him?" Kurt asked.
"No. No, not yet, I haven't ….I don't think…Kurt I don't know that I'm ready for that. I know we need to talk, and it needs to be soon, I suppose, but he's stopped calling and texting and I really need to know where I stand with him before I….I dunno…for some reason I feel like I'm 'giving in' to his demands and I don't know where I want it to go yet. I will though, I promise." Hunter said, a slow smile for Kurt, who was yawning now, leaning on the back of the sofa. "And now I'm boring you!" Hunter laughed.
"No you're not! Oh my God, I'm sorry. It's just been such a long week already and I'm just exhausted. It's not you at all."
"I'll tell you what. I'm gonna take off. Why don't you set an alarm and take a nap for a couple of hours before you have to meet Blaine?" Hunter suggested.
"You know, I think I will. Listen, though, I'm really glad things worked out with your parents. I know how worried you were, and I have to tell you, I'm just so happy that they're either ok with it or willing to work on everything and try. Many people don't get that, or anywhere near it. I'm happy for you, Hunter. Now decide what you want to do about Sebastian, and let me know if I can help, ok?" Kurt said, affectionately.
"Will do. I'll talk to you soon, Kurt. And thank you…for everything. For talking some sense into me."
"Any time, my friend. Any time." Kurt said with a half smile and a hug for Hunter, already feeling himself starting to doze off on the sofa.
10:15p from Blaine: Kurt, everything ok? I haven't seen you here yet.
10:45p from Blaine: Kurt, I hope you're just running late. Please say something. I'm worried about you, love.
11:29p from Blaine: Seriously, Kurt. I'm calling Jeff and sending him over to check on you!
11:34p from Blaine: …and now Jeff's not answering. Well, I hoped it wouldn't come to this…it has to be done, though.
"Oh my fucking god this better be a life or death situation, Blaine. What the hell, it's late, and I have to work in the morning!" Sebastian snapped into the phone. Blaine was sure his words were slurred.
"Are you at home, Seb?" he asked.
"Yep, whatsittoya?" Sebastian answered, his words all melded together.
"I need you to go check on Kurt for me. He's not answering his phone and he was supposed to be here an hour and a half ago. I'm getting freaked out!"
"Oh God, Blaine, he's a grown man. I'm sure he just made other plans and forgot to text you! Jeeez…" Seb whined.
"Maybe, but I'd feel a whole lot better if you'd just go bang on his door and check on him for me? Please…I wouldn't ask if it weren't important, you know." Blaine all but begged. "I gotta go play. Tell him to call me, please?"
"Damn it…" Seb slurred out, walking out his door and down the hall. "HUMMEL!" he yelled, banging on the door. "Answer the door or I'm breaking it down!" Seb yelled, but with very little force behind it.
A minute later a bleary eyed Kurt whipped the door open and rubbed his fingers in his eyes.
"What the hell…why are you yelling at me!?" Kurt yelled back.
"Either answer your phone, or answer your texts or something. Blainers is worried about your skinny ass and you're LATE to wherever you're supposed to be. I'm not your fucking babysitter, Kurt." He sneered, no heat at all behind his words. "Dude, seriously. Blaine's been trying to call you. I think you should call him back. He's worried. I'm leaving now…." He said and staggered away.
Kurt suddenly realized he'd fallen asleep and missed his night at the Dive with Blaine. He reached for his phone, noticing right away that the volume had be muted and he apparently hadn't heard the phone ring or the notifications that were coming through. He called Blaine back, but got voicemail, which probably meant they were playing again. He left Blaine a message to call him and he apologized a few hundred times it felt like. He knew Blaine was going to be upset with him, both for not showing up and also for worrying him. He'd have a lot of kissing up to do after tonight…but actually, that didn't sound so bad.
"It was a nice touch, you know." Maggie smiled. "Taking them to Pizza Pete's…you're their new best friend."
"It wasn't all for them. I haven't been there in ages and I wanted to ride the train. My only regret is that I'm too big to get into the tubes that the kids crawl around in up by the ceiling." Cooper answered. "And did you see Mattie's face when he won playing ski ball and all those tickets came spewing out? Amazing….couldn't have asked for a better day or better company." He smiled, his eyes falling shut as they sat on the sofa in Maggie's apartment.
"Yes, well, I still think it was a malfunction of some sort and I'm not totally convinced YOU didn't rig it to happen, but I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt this time." She said, kissing him on the nose. "And what do we have to show for our day? Two worn out kids and a pile of stuff. We have 32 cheapy prizes we could have probably purchased for a grand total of $1.37…yet we spent twenty dollars on tokens and ended up with a pile of nothing and, of course, that….thing. What the hell IS that anyway?" Maggie said, nodding her head in the direction of a large pink stuffed animal sitting in the corner.
"I think it's an aardvark…look at the nose. And it's not an elephant…the snout's not right." Cooper answered.
"Mom, Mattie won't let me help him with the toothpaste and he's got it all over the sink again!" Evee called from the bathroom.
"Mattie, let your sister help you, please. And make sure to clean up the mess on the sink now." Maggie called back.
"I'm big, I did it all by myself and she's bossy!" Mattie called. Coop snickered, nuzzling Maggie's neck as he did so.
"They're awesome, you know that?" he grinned, whispering into her neck.
"I know, but I'm biased. I guess I'll keep 'em for a while, what do you think?" she said teasingly.
"Maybe for a little bit…until they're 18 or so, at least? Maybe until they're out of college? We'll see when we get there I guess." Cooper sighed. Maggie was quiet, contemplating.
"We?" was all she said.
"Hmmm?" Cooper asked, unsure what she was asking.
"You said "we'll see when we get there…when you were talking about them being in college." She said, hopeful that she hadn't made too much of it already.
"I'm sorry, was that overstepping? I just….I thought…ok, nevermind." He said and looked sheepish.
"No, really, tell me what you were thinking when you said that?" Maggie asked with a smile. Cooper looked thoughtfully at his lap for a minute before answering.
"Truthfully, I just said it, I wasn't thinking really. I was just…when I think of things…things with you and the kids, I just say 'we' I guess? Does that bother you?" he asked.
"No?"
"You don't sound convinced at all." He chuckled. "I'll be more careful. I know they're your kids and not mine, but…I…" he began, but was cut off by Evee and Mattie coming in from the bathroom.
"Bedtime, guys!" Maggie said, stifling a yawn.
"I know, I just wanna get Ardie." Evee answered.
"Ardie?" Mags questioned.
"Duh, he's clearly an aardvark, mom."
"Clearly….ok, then. Time to hit the sack. I'll be in in a few minutes to check on you!"
"Night mommy." Mattie said, giving Maggie a kiss on her cheek, then Evee did the same.
"Night Coop!" he said, standing in front of the smiling man who had made his day, before walking away. "Um, Coop?" he asked.
"Yeah, buddy?" Cooper said, turning to look him in the eyes.
"Um…are you going to stay here tonight?"
"Uh…I…I'm uh…." Cooper stuttered.
"I mean, 'cuz you can if you want. I jes' wanted you to know, 'cuz sometimes mommy was lonely, I think, and she used to cry 'cuz of Josh, but she doesn't cry when you're here. She smiles a lot, so if you wanted to stay, it's ok with me." Mattie said, then walked over and gave Cooper a hug and a kiss on his cheek.
"It's ok with me, too." Said Evee from their bedroom.
Cooper turned to look at Maggie with wet eyes and she shared a teary smile with him and shrugged her shoulders.
"I uh…I might stay since it's ok with you, Mattie. But only if it's ok. If it's ever not ok, then I want you to tell me, alright little man?" Coop asked.
"Ok, but tonight it's alright. G'night mom. G'night Coop!" he yelled, running for his bed and slipping the door shut.
Coop and Maggie both sat still on the sofa watching the closed bedroom door for a few minutes, neither saying a word, before Coop jumped up and headed for the bathroom.
"Be right back." He muttered before disappearing behind the door, but not closing it all the way. Maggie got up and slowly approached the door as well, hearing Coop sniff on the other side.
"Honey? Can I come in?" she said quietly, then pushed the door a bit. Coop stood, leaning on the sink and staring into the mirror with red eyes taking deep breaths. Maggie wrapped her arms around him from behind and peeked out from around his arm as there was no way she could see over his shoulder. She was way too short for that.
"I'm so sorry if he made you uncomfortable." She whispered.
"No…no, he didn't. Not at all. In fact, it was just the opposite. I've never, in all my life, felt more welcome anywhere else than I do right here, right now, with you guys." He said, almost choking on his words. Maggie smiled and leaned her forehead on his arm, squeezing him tighter.
"You're always welcome here, love."
"I wanna be. I want to always be welcome here. I never want to do anything to change that or make them not want me around…make you not want me around." Coop said, his voice low and strained. He had thoughts of his own father beating him repeatedly and telling him how useless he was, how unwanted he'd been, how he'd ruined his mother's beautiful figure, and how much money he cost them over the years….it was more than he could handle and a few tears fell.
"There's more to this, Cooper Anderson. I can see it in your eyes and all over your face and feel it in your stance. If you want to talk, I'll listen. I won't force you to, though. But know that I'm here whenever you're ready, ok?" Maggie offered, watching his eyes in the mirror. He nodded, eyes still a bit glassy over what she figured was just the kids' words, and then squeezed her hand on his arm and took a deep breath.
"Snuggle with a movie?" he asked.
"Absolutely."
"You know I love you, right Mags?"
"I know….and I love you too. The Notebook?"
"You know it. But don't ever tell Blaine."
"Your secret love for sappy chick flicks is safe with me, baby." She smiled.
"Come home with me?" Nick said, nuzzling into Jeff's neck, nipping there and running his fingers through the hair at Jeff's nape. Jeff stiffened. "Babe?" Nick sat up, sensing Jeff's upset.
"About that…Nicky, I…I can't. Not yet. Not until they find your dad. Call me weak, call me whatever, but I'm terrified of that man. As far as he knows, when you're here, in my place….ok, well, Blaine's place, you're nowhere near me and we're apart. We're safe, we're ok, right? I don't want to lose that safety."
"Ok, it's ok. I get it. We can stay here. You're probably right. If the thinks we're together again, he'll be watching my place to see if you show up. It would be safe once we're inside, but outside….yeah, ok, we'll hang here." He grinned. "So take me to bed?"
Jeff's face was a myriad of emotion then. The last time they'd been in bed together, they'd made love, then he'd drugged his boyfriend and left town. It tainted the whole thing a little bit in his mind. He wondered if Nick felt the same.
"Ok…it's alright, we don't have to, Jeff. I just thought we could lay together, hold each other, nothing more if you're not comfortable with it." Nick told him, his eyes full of love and understanding.
"Yeah…ok." Jeff said, standing up. He ran his hand through the hair at the back of his neck and hesitated. "Nicky….can we talk about it? Can we talk about what happened. I know you said we're fine, that it's all good and everything, but I can't…Nicky, I can't shake the feeling that…that I ruined it. Please, can we…." He began, but Nick cut him off with a kiss and that mind blowing smile.
"Pretty Boy…I think you need to calm down and just talk to me, ok? Let's get through this, you and me, and not revisit it again, can we?" Nick asked hopefully.
"Please….yeah. I need to know…I need for you to know…"
"Ok. That's what we'll do. C'mon." Nick said, leading him to his room, closing the door softly, and guiding him to Jeff's bed. He plopped down and bounced a bit on the edge, his eyebrows raising slightly with a grin toward Jeff. "Comfy bed, you're lucky. Most people don't bother to put a decent bed in their spare bedroom." He grinned.
"He said he knew I'd be around and he wanted me to be comfortable." Jeff laughed. "It's nowhere near as nice as your bed, though."
"Any bed with you in it is a winner in my book."
"Oh my God you're such a cheeseball!" Jeff laughed.
"You love me anyway." Nick replied.
"I do…more than anything, I do, Nicky. I need for you to know that. It's the only reason I left…the only reason I was able to leave. I thought that me staying was ruining things for you. I figured you needed your job back and you just didn't want to tell me." Jeff said, hesitantly.
"Jeff, I've never wanted to work for him, for my dad. Never. I didn't want to go to school where he wanted me to go. I didn't want to go into the line of business he suggested. It's like…my whole damn life I've been doing things that he wanted me to do, but not doing anything I wanted. Now it's time to do something I want to do, and I want to do all of those things with you by my side." Nick grinned.
"I'm here. I'm not leaving again. He'll have to kill me." Jeff said, not able to meet Nick's eyes.
"I can't even think of that. I won't….it can't come to that. We'll see that it doesn't. My mom, she misses you even after meeting for such a short time. She said I look like death and I need to get you back no matter the cost. She's leaving my dad, Jeff. She's had the papers drawn up. When my family found out all the things he's done over the years, all the deals he's involved us in, all the pain he's caused people, all the times he's screwed his own family members and manipulated the people around us…Jeff, none of them want anything to do with him. This…these things…they're not your fault. You acted in self-preservation, and you did it for me as well. For that, I love you more than ever. I am not, nor was I ever angry with you. My family is…for lack of a better term…grateful. If this hadn't happened, if he hadn't done to you and me what he did, we wouldn't know the extent of all the shit he's done, and we'd still be wandering behind him, trusting him, allowing him to lead our lives with no idea what he was doing to ruin us. I'm begging you, Jeff, please…do not let things get dysfunctional between us because you think that anyone's upset at you."
Jeff just stared, not knowing what to say. He hadn't thought of it that way at all, instead concentrating on what he'd done, what was between him and Nick, not the whole family.
"I hadn't thought of it that way." He said very quietly, his chin to his chest. Then, after a moment of quiet: "Did you tell them what I did? About the pills…about how I left?" Jeff asked.
"Only what I felt they needed to know. I took the envelope you left and all of its contents with me when I went to see them. I showed them what I had found so far, and they were so very angry, Jeff….so angry that he'd done that, tried to buy you off like that." Nick huffed, for lack of a better term, then smiled. "You gained major brownie points for leaving that check behind, babe. They all thought you were nuts. Robby said he'd have taken that check and run as far from me as possible, and he couldn't believe how crazy you must be to want to be with me anyway." He laughed.
"Hmmm, seems Robby and I are going to have to have words." Jeff chuckled along with him. "It wouldn't have been worth ten times that, Nick." Jeff said softly. "No amount of money is worth being away from you. I didn't want money, I wanted your well being, your happiness. That's what was most important, you have to know that." Jeff said with a bit more umph behind it.
"I know, Jeff. I knew it then, I know it now. I know how you are, and money isn't important to you. I heard what you said to Blaine when you had no idea I was standing there. Although a box under the overpass sounds delightful with you in it, I think we should eventually make better housing arrangements, deal?" Nick teased him.
"Deal." Jeff smirked. "Are we…are we ok? Nicky, wait, don't answer. Remember what happened. I coaxed you into bed, flirted my way into getting what I wanted. We had sex and then I put sleeping pills in your water, waited until you slept and then I walked out on you. Please…I need to know honestly, if you can forgive me for that." Jeff pleaded. Nick said nothing for a few minutes, just thought carefully about what Jeff had said.
"Can I answer now?" he asked a sad and sorrowful Jeff.
"Y-yeah…" Jeff said, expecting the worst but praying and hoping for forgiveness.
"I'm not sure where you were, but from where I was, this is what happened: You and I had a great dinner, except for our nutso waitress. We went back to my place where you were irresistibly handsome and every move you made screamed at me to make you mine, to take you in every sense of the word. We made the mutual decision to go to bed together, and we made love and it was beautiful and right and everything I'd hoped for. You went to the bathroom and brought me a drink, which you put sleeping pills in so that I wouldn't argue with you while you attempted to leave to save me from everything that my father was currently putting us through. You gave up something you wanted to give back to me…to make me happy. You then ripped up a check for a huge amount of money and went home to take care of loose ends before moving to New York so you could be close to me, even if I didn't know you were there. Now, Jeff, please…tell me, in that scenario…what part of that isn't the most romantic love story you've ever heard?" Nick asked him softly, putting his hand on Jeff's cheek and turning the blonde to look at him.
Jeff wore an uncertain smile, his eyes closed and a tear or two sneaking out to trickle down his cheek.
"I love you, Nicky. I love you with every ounce of anything that I am. Please promise me that we can work anything out…don't let 'us' go, ever." Jeff said, eventually leaning in and pressing a chaste kiss to Nick's lips with a smile.
"You and me against the world, babe. We'll conquer it all." Nick laughed. "Please….Jeff, please tell me that you're ok with us. I don't want to talk about this anymore. I want to know that you and I are past it, that we don't have to rehash it, that we don't need to discuss it any more than we have. It's over and done with and I want to just move on from here with my amazing boyfriend. Can we please do that?"
"I think we can do that, Nicky" Jeff smiled, relief so evident in his voice that Nick couldn't help but stare. "Starting with you kissing me, is that fair?"
"Oh God, so fair!" Nick said. He cupped his face again and leaned up to plant a kiss on the corner of Jeff's lips, smiling when his boyfriend turned slightly, allowing Nick to be right on target, and then he couldn't stop.
"T-touch me, Nicky…" Jeff breathed out after kissing his boyfriend for so long that his lips ached.
"You sure?" Nick breathed, his mouth on Jeff's ear. "I don't want to push you, baby."
"So sure, I need you. My God I've needed you for so long….so many nights…"
"Mmmmmmm, what happened those so many nights without me?" Nick teased, looking up to meet Jeff's eyes.
"Nicky!" Jeff laughed.
"Tell me, Pretty Boy. How did you get through it all…it's been a long time without me…." Nick teased more.
"Oh so that's how it is, huh?" Jeff said, his face more serious now. "Ok, you wanna know? I'll explain it to you. But you have to sit still during the story. Can you be a good boy, Nicky?" Jeff said, pushing him off of his chest and shoving him to the bottom of the bed to sit with his legs crossed.
"I'm always a good boy, baby."
"Ok, well, most nights would begin with me laying in here watching T.V. or reading a book. I found this really great coffee shop with an odd 'library' of sorts down a few blocks. So yeah, I'd have to try to take my mind off of you. Unfortunately, it didn't always happen that way, though, where I was able to turn off thoughts of my incredibly handsome boyfriend and his sinfully amazing hands. My mind would, then, fill with thoughts of you, your hands, your mouth and all the fun things we did before, and my own hands would begin to wander. You know…kinda like….this…" Jeff said, grabbing a book and holding it in front of his face as if he were super engrossed in whatever was printed on the page." Not allowing himself to see Nick might make him last a bit longer. His fingers then began to slowly make their way over the buttons of his shirt, drawing soft, circular patterns of various designs until he reached his belly button, which made his knees twitch a bit since he was getting closer…closer to the place he wanted his fingers to be.
Nick was smiling, his eyes never leaving where Jeff's fingers led unless it was to meet Jeff's eyes.
"I found some books that are quite nice, actually…." Jeff continued, "very insightful, you know….learning new things is fun, and there's no end to what you can soak up with the right books…" Jeff purred, his fingers now leading down over his zipper. Nick was almost panting when Jeff drew the zipper down and flipped he button open. He watched as Jeff's fingers squeezed the spine of the book a bit more, his knuckles turning white from holding it so firmly.
"Jeff…"
"Yeah, baby?"
"P-please…." Nick asked, eyes wide now, breathing heavier. "Let me touch you?"
"No can do. You wanted to hear the story and you said you'd be a good boy and sit still for it." Jeff said, straight faced. "So yeah, these books…they have 'How to" books about everything, did you know that? How to Enhance Your Love Life, How to Make Your Bedroom Your Best Room, How to Make Your Partner Scream….so many to choose from, Nicky." Jeff teased more, his fingers steadily moving downward, dragging over his very obvious hardness. Nick licked his lips, his eyes large and so very interested now.
"Jeffie….."
The book faltered, and began to droop toward the bed in Jeff's fingers when his head fell back on the pillow, mouth dropping open as his hand made its way inside his boxer briefs, his breath hitching as his fingertips slipped past the head of his cock.
"You have no idea how long I was able to draw it out sometimes, Nicky. Hours…hours on end and when I'd finally allow myself to picture your beautiful mouth wrapped around my cock I'd come so hard, so long, I actually blacked out once. It was amazing…woke up with a mess in my hand, though, but it didn't matter. I came so hard, whispering your name, choking on the feeling that I knew you'd bring me so much sexual gratification that I'd—" he continued, but Nick had had enough. He launched himself into Jeff's lap and drove their lips together swiftly and firmly, mouthing around Jeff's face, his ear, his neck. Nick's hands were everywhere, grabbing handfuls of Jeff's shirt, unable to get all of the buttons undone and then, in his frustration, just ripping it open, watching the buttons fly to the carpet in the room, some of them barely still hanging by a thread to the shirt.
"That was my favorite shirt, Nicky!" Jeff wailed, a smirk on his face. "Oh man do you owe me big time now!"
"Any-anything you want. Anything. Name it, I'll get it for you. Please, Jeff, my God…please. Just let me taste you. Please…." Nick babbled out, nipping and licking at Jeff's chest.
"Anything?" Jeff asked, very interested.
"A-anything, Jesus Christ, please Jeff…." Nick said, panting in earnest now and trying to hold back, but failing miserably. He bit Jeff's nipple and the blonde let out a breathy "oohhhhhh" that made Nick lose it.
Ripping Jeff's hands away, Nick grabbed hold of the waistband of the blonde's jeans and yanked them down over his ass, the boxer briefs soon to follow. As his mouth sunk down over Jeff's rigid and leaking cock, Nick let out a groan of pure satisfaction that had Jeff nearly losing his mind.
"Oh my god, yeah…Nicky…I've missed….fuck! missed you so much…so much…your fucking mouth is incredible…please…..please…Nicky I'm not gonna last long…." Jeff babbled.
Nick bobbed his head up and down at a pace that should have left his brain rattling in his skull. Getting Jeff off was his sole purpose in life, feeling him shoot down his throat becoming everything he was living for in that moment. His own cock twitched in his pants and he groaned loudly, digging his hips into the bed and begging to hold on a few more minutes, but wanting nothing more than the release he needed desperately.
Jeff babbled out sweet words, incoherent things that made Nick smile as he sucked and twirled his tongue around making Jeff fist the comforter and bang his head more than once on the headboard.
"N-Nicky….please…I'm gonna…yeah…don't stop, take ever drop…all yours…." Jeff panted, then went rigid as his body tensed and he released everything he'd been holding on to into Nick's hot, wet mouth. His eyes fluttered open, then closed again, his breathing ragged, his hands still fisting the fabric beneath him. Nick had barely moved, only let Jeff's spent cock fall form his mouth and rolled his face over to Jeff's hip, his breathing just as broken. Jeff made to move and resituate himself and Nick immediately tensed.
"No don't…please don't move. I'll…uh…I'm so close, and I don't wanna ruin my pants and have to go home that way." He grinned, sleepy now.
Jeff moved anyway, quickly palming Nick's hardness through his pants and roughly jerking him off while Nick halfheartedly protested and laughed at the same time.
"It's payback for ruining my favorite shirt!" Jeff sneered, biting his bottom lip. "Come for me, baby….right now…do it, you know you want to." Jeff demanded.
"Aww fuck!" Nick yelled, coming hard in his pants, stuttering against everything happening at once and then falling still on the bed, stifling a laugh. "I'm gonna kick your ass, Sterling." He said, giggling like a school girl.
"I look forward to it, Nicky." Jeff said, planting a kiss on Nick's nose and dropping down next to him to sleep for a bit.
"Ok, before you say a word, I left you a voicemail. I'm sorry, Blaine. I totally fell asleep after Hunter left and I forgot to set an alarm and…"
Blaine grabbed him in a huge hug and just held him tightly. "I'm so damn irritated at you for not showing up and not calling and then not answering your phone, but right now I'm just glad there's nothing wrong…that you're safe and there's nothing to worry about. Damn it, Kurt…I was sick worrying about you! I messed up so many times…." Blaine complained. "Shit…" he said, running his hands through is hair, shoving the door closed behind him. "Have you forgotten that there's someone out there that once tried to kill you, Kurt, and he's running around our fair city doing God knows what?!"
"I know, and I'm…I won't let it happen again, B. I'm sorry. I know how you worry, but it's ok. Nothing's wrong. Can you stay for a few minutes?" Kurt pleaded.
"Kurt…I'm exhausted. I just…I wanna go home and sleep. We can talk about it tomorrow, ok?"
"Alright." Kurt said softly, and it was clear that Blaine was upset with him. "For what it's worth, I'm really sorry…"
"I know…I know. I'm gonna get some sleep, ok? I'll call you in the morning?" Blaine said, making his way back to the door and pulling it open.
"B?" Kurt whispered. "I…I don't want to go to bed angry….are you…are you angry with me?"
Blaine didn't answer for a few seconds that felt like a year.
"I'm not angry. I'm not happy either, but it is what it is, Kurt. I'm just glad everything is fine. I'll see you tomorrow." He said, and closed the door.
Kurt knew he had some making up to do. Now he just needed to figure out how to fix things.
A/N If you are not reading "That Boy Next Door" by gleeeeeful, go do it now. Run, don't walk. It's all in email format and it's awesome...
Thanks to Christine for her Chapter Flails, for telling me where and why I'm an idiot when she edits for me, and for just being there, because sometimes we all need someone to just BE there for us. :) Love ya, lady!
And there have been several reviews from "guests" or from some who don't have their p.m.'s turned on. Thank you, to all of you, for your kind reviews and even if I don't get to answer them, I am truly grateful for each and every one! Thanks to anyone and everyone who has told a friend about Crowded House, and last but not least, to Marianne who has flailed along with every chapter, God love her! :) I hope your weekend was great, and that your week will be better! Less than / three...