Chapter 14
Note: The support for this story, even all these years later is so overwhelming, I literally can't tear myself away from writing. I know I said I'd be slower on this one, but hopefully none of you are complaining?
Arizona was in shock, or at least that's what it felt like. In all the years she'd known Dr. Christian Weston – she'd never expected anything like this to come out of his mouth. Part of her felt relieved knowing that she wasn't the only one with a secret to hide in their marriage, but the other part was confused how he'd been able to hide something this huge. She'd had no clue. Christian had never escaped awkwardly for long weekends, lied blatantly to her face or anything of the sort. She'd spent the last half a decade beating herself up over lying to him, when he'd been lying to her for just as long. But what did any of that matter now? We're getting divorced, she reminded herself, attempting to quell her anxiety.
"He's… your son… He's – he's my patient?" Arizona asked hesitantly.
"Yes," Christian answered. "Tanner got sick as a child."
"Christian, this is ridiculous. Stop giving me half stories, spit it out. When? Who? Where? What?" Arizona retorted, her aggravation growing by the second.
"Oh, you mean like you gave me?" Christian quipped back.
"I cheated on you Christian, I didn't mother a child and hide him from you," Arizona growled, her voice starting to raise.
"That's what you want to call it? Cheating? Arizona you let me live a lie for the last ten fucking years!" Christian remarked back. His voice remained calm, but there was a hint of venom behind his words.
"A lie? You fucking knew I was a lesbian and you married me anyway!" Arizona yelled back. "You fucking knew, and you never once thought to ask me if I was okay? If I was happy?"
"I didn't know. You never told me! I just figured you were bisexual… I never once thought you weren't in love with me! I thought we were happy. But it turns out I was just living a lie!" Christian shouted back. Christian rarely yelled, and never at Arizona.
"So the fuck was I clearly!" Arizona yelled, slightly concerned by Christian's suddenly raised voice. She'd never even heard him yell before. "Why the fuck are you even telling me this? I could have gone on just fine without knowing this!"
"Because," he answered, calming his voice back to normal, "I had to. The money – the money I've been giving Tanner comes from our joint checking account. Despite the fact that I'm allocating it all to my son, it's still technically ours since he's underage. The account is in my name, but it's still an asset," Christian explained, "I had to tell you so we could allocate it in the divorce."
Arizona didn't respond, taking a moment to process what he was saying. The money came from our joint account?
"Arizona?"
"Our joint account?" Arizona asked, her voice pointed and direct.
"Yes, that's why I offered you the condo, and the Breckenridge house, they're both worth more than my grandma's old house in Maryland, and I took less from the trust, trying to pay you back for any contribution you may have made to him over the years, if any at all," Christian answered, hanging his head low.
"Christian! I don't give a rat's ass about the money. Do you understand the ethical implications this could have on me?!" Arizona yelped, throwing her hands up in the air. Based on what Christian was saying, she was both this child's doctor, stepmother, and paying for his medical treatment.
"It's fine Arizona. You didn't know. I couldn't let anyone else operate on him, you're the only one I trust," Christian answered her, slightly relieved she wasn't upset about the money. He hadn't really expected her to be, Arizona had never cared about money and the woman he knew would never turn away a child in need.
"Who is he?"
"Tanner?"
"I've never seen a Tanner Weston," Arizona answered, "I would've remembered that."
"Tanner Lawrence, 9-year-old boy with cardiomyopathy, end stage heart failure," Christian responded, the sadness in his voice evident.
Arizona paused to think. Tanner Lawrence? She tapped the counter with her fingertips, putting the pieces together slowly in her head.
"Tanner…" she said softly, looking up to meet Christian's eyes, "He came in coughing up pink blood right before my boards. I almost sat them out… to save him."
Christian nodded, looking down again.
"You… you begged me to stay and help him," Arizona added, the realization of the situation dawning on her. Christian had been oddly attached to this case, despite being a rising star general surgeon. He never got involved in pediatric cases. She hadn't thought much of it at the time, Christian having explained it away by telling her that Tanner's mother was an old med school classmate and he felt strongly that Arizona was the only one who could help her son. Christian had almost made her fail her boards… for a son he'd never told her about.
"When you passed your boards, I was so relieved," Christian answered. Another doctor, Dr. Teller was going to do the pacemaker installation, but Christian had insisted that Tanner needed the best – the best being Arizona. Because of the surgery, and the complications she faced during install, Arizona had missed the first session of her exam. Had she not passed the remaining sessions in full, she would've failed.
"I almost lost him!" Arizona yelled, remembering just how stressful the day of her exam had been. Between Tanner's heart, Boards, and a highly coveted fellowship awaiting her once she passed, she'd spent the entire exam a sweating mess of anxiety.
"I know, but you didn't. You saved his life that day," Christian answered. "And I – I fell in love with you all over again."
"He's on my schedule next week," Arizona stated, ignoring Christian's last statement. He nodded in response, clearly already aware.
"His pacemaker is failing, like I said, he's in end stage heart failure, he needs a transplant. He's your transplant patient from Hopkins that Ashley sent over," Christian answered, referring to Arizona's former favorite scrub nurse.
"Christian, I can't," Arizona started.
"Yes – you can. You're the only one I trust with my son. You saved him once, you can save him again," he told her solemnly, tears starting to fall from his eyes. "Look, I'm sorry. I fucked up, and I've paid for it my whole life. I – I should've told you, but the thought of losing you terrified me more than the thought of letting my son grow up with a father like mine."
Arizona didn't respond.
"I love you Arizona, I'll always love you. I loved you then, I love you now, and I'll love you next week when you give my son a new heart," he told her.
Silence.
"And if he rejects the heart? What if he dies? I can't – I can't be responsible for that," she told him finally.
"Then I'll still love you because I'll know you tried. I'll know that despite everything, you tried to save my son," he answered, tears still falling from his eyes.
"I –"
"Please Arizona. I know Karev could handle this, or Yang, or Altman, but I need you to do this, please," he begged.
She took in a deep breath, and against her better judgment, replied, "For better or for worse."
He stood up from his chair and wrapped his arms around Arizona tightly, hugging her close, Arizona reciprocating.
When she pulled away, he leaned down and kissed her gently on the corner of her mouth, "Thank you Arizona, thank you."
She smiled and put her hand on his shoulder, picking up the pen beside the stack of papers on the counter, "Where do I sign?"
He pointed to their respective signature blocks on the paperwork, and Arizona signed her name.
"I'll get these over to our lawyer to proof, and if everything looks good to him, we'll get these filed. We'll have to wait a few months, but I suspect the judge will just rubber stamp this and divorce us," Christian told her, adding his signature on the line designated for him.
"This all feels so wild," Arizona said softly.
"A whole bunch of lies, broken dreams, and promises," he answered with a small sigh.
"We can still –" Arizona started to say until Christian cut her off.
"No, we can't," Christian interjected.
"Yes, we can… Grace… she deserves it, it's for her. Not for us," Arizona answered, tears starting to well in her own eyes. Arizona had always loved Grace; she was the sister she'd never gotten to have.
"Are you sure?" Christian asked.
"Christian, I think we've hurt each other enough to ruin any relationship, but in time, the pain will fade… We made your sister a promise," Arizona told him.
"I think she'd understand, it's not like we're not trying every single day to come up with new methods to save future families the pain we all went through," Christian answered.
"If you're still on board, I'm still on board. We're nearly there," Arizona answered, glancing back down at the spreadsheet of their assets. "We're barely $1,000,000 away from being able to execute."
"Okay, Arizona, okay. If, when we get there, we're both still on board, we'll do it," he told her with a few gentle nods of his head.
"Grace's life wasn't lost for nothing. The money we won in the lawsuit – we can't let that go to waste," Arizona told him reassuringly.
Grace Weston had started getting mammograms and MRI's of her chest at 18 years old. Despite the fact that her mother, and multiple other women in the Weston family, had died young of breast cancer, Grace's health insurance company repeatedly refused to pay for the preventative tests, citing her age. Gail, their grandmother, had paid for each of Grace's exams out of pocket, hoping that early detection would save her granddaughter's life. Sometime after Grace's 22nd birthday, she was diagnosed with advanced stage breast cancer. It turns out that the radiologist had opted to ignore multiple calcifications on her scans, repeatedly telling the Weston's that Grace was fine. The cancer had been found in the same area of Grace's breast that the calcifications had manifested, and the radiologist's negligence was the direct cause of Grace's cancer advancing untreated as long as it had. Arizona and Christian had just gotten married, and after Gail's death, had taken over the payments for Grace's preventative care. Once Grace passed, the pair filed a wrongful death lawsuit against the radiologist and the hospital, winning $6.5 million in a confidential settlement agreement at the eleventh hour*. Christian and Arizona donated $2,000,000 of the settlement to the Johns Hopkins Cancer Research Center in Grace's name, and the rest was placed in a trust. They then hired an accountant and a broker to manage the money so that eventually, the money would grow to a large enough sum that they could open their own cancer center in Grace's name as well.
"You're right," Christian said finally, "You're right… and we will. For better or for worse, Arizona Robbins," Christian told her with a smile.
"You deserve to know the truth… about everything," Arizona told him, leading him toward the livingroom to sit on the couch.
Christian followed, settling himself down on the couch he once shared with Arizona, "I can't say I'm surprised that there's more to tell… our lives have become very dramatic over the last few months."
Arizona smiled at Christian's joke and sat down beside him on the couch, "Very, very dramatic. Basically a soap opera." She laughed at the thought.
"Well, get on with it, I can't imagine it's worse than a secret child, an affair the night before our wedding, homosexuality, and a couple affairs with women," Christian joked.
"You were right."
"Well, I usually am… but, about what this time?"
"Callie – Dr. Torres," Arizona answered, correcting herself.
"I know," he told her, putting an arm around the blonde beside him and giving her a gentle hug, "I think I knew the second we moved here… she's pretty hot, nice job."
Arizona swatted Christian across his chest, "Shut up. You keep your hands off her."
Christian laughed, "I wouldn't dare. And in case you forgot in all of this crap, I'm a guy… kinda the exact problem we had?"
Arizona smiled, and stifled a chuckle, "I never meant to hurt you."
"Do you love her?"
Arizona looked up with tears in her eyes, placed her hand on his face and smiled, "More than I ever thought I could love another person."
"How long?"
"I – I ran into her on my first shift at Seattle Grace. I couldn't stop myself. We slept together again for the first time two weeks later," Arizona answered. There was no point in hiding anything anymore, they'd already done enough damage, it may as well be time for a whole bunch of truth bombs.
"She was the relationship before me, wasn't she?" Christian asked, no anger visible on his face, or in his voice. Arizona had told Christian about her breakup before him, how it had broken her, how she liked him, but needed time to move past that level of heartbreak.
"Yes," Arizona answered simply, "I never got over her."
"Well, apparently, neither did she," Christian said with a small smile. "Does she make you happy Arizona?"
"Before she came back in my life, I felt like I was drowning – constantly. Everything felt suffocating, wrong, damaged. I barely knew who I was anymore. I cheated on you, I hurt you, none of it felt like me anymore…." She paused to wipe the tears from her eyes. "Until I saw her again. That smile, that laugh, she even smelled the same. She knew I was married - to you no less - and she tried – she tried so hard to keep me away from her… It was my fault. I cornered her in the bathroom at Joe's and she gave in and kissed me, and in that moment, everything felt fucking right again. I never meant for it to get this bad. I should've told you sooner, I should've just been honest, or I should've waited –"
"There's a lot of things we both should have done, but if we live that way we'll never get past this… For what it's worth, I forgive you Arizona. I can only hope that someday you'll forgive me too," Christian told her, squeezing her into a tighter hug.
"I do, I do forgive you Christian. There's nothing to forgive. I'm sort of relieved to know that I wasn't the only one with a secret," Arizona answered returning the hug.
"Even stevens?"
"Even stevens."
"So, are you like, official with Dr. Torres? Can I scare the shit out of her about it? I think I deserve a little fun with this," Christian asked half-heartedly.
Arizona laughed, "No. We're not official, and please don't go traumatizing her, none of this is her fault. We're keeping it private until we're ready to make it official, without making you or Callie look like a piece of shit."
"I'm joking Arizona, I'll remain strictly professional… but, if she hurts you, she'll have to answer to Tim and me. We've both been through enough heartache for one lifetime."
"She won't hurt me. It's more likely that I'll hurt her."
"Arizona…"
"I'm just scared, okay? I'll get there – I just don't know how long she's willing to wait."
"It's been, what, 12 years? And she's still yours… I doubt she'd be unwilling to wait a little longer to have you… I know I've waited years for our marriage to pick up, hoping that things would get better. You're worth a wait Arizona Robbins," Christian told her sincerely.
"But –"
"No buts. Take your time. You're free now. You're owning who you are, and that sometimes takes time. But, please, don't put yourself in a position where you lose out on happiness, again."
"Who are you? Like seriously… you're an incredible man Christian. You'll make someone very, very happy someday. I'm sorry that person could never be me," Arizona said with a laugh.
"I am pretty great, but, as you learned today, not perfect. There's a lot I could've done better. This actually worked out alright for me too, imagine if we'd been happily married and I dropped all of this on you?" Christian retorted with a confident grin.
"I love you Christian, and I always will," she told him with a smile, opting to ignore the what if that truly didn't matter.
"I love you too, Arizona, always," he replied.
A comfortable silence fell over them as they sat contently on the couch, still wrapped in each others' arms.
"Can I ask you a question?" Christian asked after a few moments, pulling himself from his soon to be ex-wife's arms.
"Sure, I don't think either of us have anything left to hide," Arizona answered, leaning up and adjusting herself.
"Those…" he said, pointing toward the TV console, where the two scarves Arizona had used to tie Callie up a few days prior still laid, attached to the metal bars on each side.
Arizona turned bright red, starting to stutter out an incoherent response. She rose from the couch and hastily started to untie the scarf bindings.
"Damn Scottsdale," he said with a laugh, realization dawning on him. "Who tied up who?"
"Shut up Christian," Arizona growled, shoving the two offending objects into the nearest drawer on the console.
"I think I deserve the right to tease you," he answered with another bright smile.
"Don't make me call you a deadbeat dad," she countered with an equally bright smile.
"Touché," Christian answered, standing up from the couch, "But I'll just assume if you don't tell me… What an image."
"Who are you, Sloan?" She paused to wait for Christian's grin to fade, and when it didn't, she added, "It was me," she answered finally, leading them back toward the kitchen. "It was me, okay?"
Christian laughed again, "Well damn, now I kinda want to fist bump you."
"We are not there yet Christian," Arizona answered, handing him the papers off the counter. "Maybe someday we can bro it out like Callie and Mark, but for now, let's just sit with all of this, okay? We'll be okay, just – we'll need time."
"I know," he answered, taking the papers and heading toward the front door, "I know we will. Friends?"
"Friends," Arizona confirmed, opening the condo door for him. He gave her another smile and exited the condo, shutting the door behind him.
Thursday
June 24, 2010
3:00 PM
It had already been a long day for the orthopedic surgeon. She'd been at the hospital since 4:00 that morning, having been on call the night before, and the emergency surgery she'd been rushed in for lasted all the way up to the start of her shift. By now, she'd already reset a child's shoulder, performed an amputation, and was now leaving physical therapy with Dr. Minnick and Alexandra. Although Alexandra had just had surgery a week ago, she was already back on her feet and recovering well from her last surgery. Alexandra's spine was still at an extremely dangerous curve – crushing her organs as it bends, but after a visit with Arizona and Dr. Swender had determined that Alexandra would need to be monitored, but chemotherapy would be unnecessary after a round of radiation.
Thanks to the positive prognosis on the cancer front, Alexandra's parents had become increasingly supportive of the vertebral resection surgery – excited even. One of the Dianetti's were always present at Alexandra's physical therapy sessions, rooting her on, or pulling Callie aside to discuss it in some way. Alexandra had started physical therapy to strengthen her body before surgery. In physical therapy, Alexandra was placed in halo traction to lengthen her spine and provide stabilization. Alexandra's team consisted of respiratory therapists, nurses, physical therapists, nutritionists, orthopedics, pediatrics, residents of various specialties, and interns. Each team had the same goal: give Alexandra her strength back, get her breathing, get her ready for a lifesaving surgery.
"You did great today," Dr. Minnick told the young girl as they wheeled her back toward the elevators. "You are getting stronger every day!"
"I love that thing, I can breathe," the little girl replied with a wide grin. "How long till surgery?"
"About 5 more weeks," Callie answered with a reassuring smile, "But don't worry, it's going to fly by. We just need you to get a little bit stronger before we can fix you up."
Alexandra nodded, "I can wait."
Callie was truly impressed by the little girl, she was stronger than she looked and was determined to get better as fast as possible. One of Arizona's late night talks with the Dianetti's had informed them that Alexandra had always wanted to play sports. That was what Alexandra was truly looking forward to.
By the time they got back upstairs to Alexandra's room, Alexandra was understandably exhausted. For the first time since the little girl came through the emergency room, her room was empty.
"Looks like you'll get to take a nice nap," Callie told the little girl as she and Dr. Minnick helped her get comfortable in her bed.
"I love that they're here, but sometimes I just want to be alone," Alexandra admitted to Callie for the second time. Since then, she'd tried to pull the Dianetti's out of Alexandra's room as often as possible.
"I know kiddo, they're just worried about you, but maybe you should talk to them," Callie told her, covering her tiny body with a blanket.
"You know how stubborn my mom can be," Alexandra said with a smile, clearly referring to Gabrielle.
"She loves you, talk to her, so I don't have to make her hate me by kicking her out," Callie told her with a laugh. "Dr. Lexie or Dr. Ryan should be by later to check on you, okay? If you need anything, you know which button to press… But for now, get some rest superhero," Callie told her, walking to the door of Alexandra's room with Dr. Minnick following closely behind.
"Thank you, Dr. Torres," Alexandra said laughing.
"Sleep tight Alex," Dr. Minnick said as she followed Callie out of the room, shut off the light and closed the door halfway.
"So," Eliza said, looking toward Callie once they were out of earshot, "who would've thought you would be so damn good with kids?"
"Excuse me? I am a delight," Callie replied, feigning aggravation.
"The Callie I knew would've been puking at the thought of kids," Eliza answered, putting a finger down her throat and pretending to gag.
"The Callie you knew was a heartbroken asshole who took it out with sex," Callie answered, "But you already knew that."
"Mm, there's a lot of things I used to know," Eliza answered with a wink.
"If I'm not mistaken, there's quite a bit more to know about you," Callie retorted with a smirk.
"Speaking of which, I was thinking about that night after that ridiculous Barrister's Ball Amaya convinced us to go to… I'd like to settle once and for all that I won," Eliza returned Callie's smirk, but lifted a finger and poked it gently against Callie's chest.
Callie paused for a moment, trying to catch up to where Eliza's head had gone. A smile, a blush, then annoyance. Callie swatted the woman's hand away and laughed sarcastically, "Ha! That's a joke. I won, and you're lying to yourself if you think you could have actually beat me."
"Dr. Torres, I am shocked," Eliza said, throwing her hand up in annoyance, "You know damn well I won that bet. It's been like 6 years, pay up." She extended her hand with a flirtatious smile.
"You passed out, I kept going," Callie answered, flicking Eliza's hand away with a laugh, turning around and walking away.
"Rematch? Winner gets double," Eliza yelled after her.
Callie stopped, shrugged her shoulders, turned around, shot the woman a confident smile, and responded, "Meet me in the lounge after your shift."
Thursday
June 24, 2010
3:11 PM
Dr. Robbins had just finished splitting cases up for the evening shift when she heard Callie's voice from down the hall. They hadn't had a chance to talk after she met with Christian. While the brunette knew that Arizona was meeting to talk about the divorce, she'd yet to really tell her what had happened. Callie had worked late Tuesday night, Arizona had worked early on Wednesday, and Callie was on call that night. At most, they'd exchanged a few flirty texts, talked briefly on the phone about her chat with Christian, and a couple of clandestine glances from across the hospital. Naturally, at the sound of the brunette's voice, she hopped out of her chair at the nurses station and headed down the hall.
As she approached, she unintentionally overheard some of the conversation between Dr. Minnick and Callie.
"… I was thinking about that night after that ridiculous Barrister's Ball Amaya convinced us to go to… I'd like to settle once and for all that I won."
A pause.
"Ha! That's a joke. I won, and you're lying to yourself if you think you could have actually beat me."
"Dr. Torres, I am shocked. You know damn well I won that bet. It's been like 6 years, pay up."
"You passed out, I kept going,"
"Rematch? Winner gets double."
"Meet me in the lounge after your shift."
Arizona hadn't rounded the corner, only hearing the subtle flirtation in their voices as they spoke. Callie knew Dr. Minnick… Callie clearly slept with her. And made a bet with her over it? And now they're going to have a rematch? Arizona swallowed, hard, nearly choking herself with the sob that almost escaped her lips. We aren't dating, Arizona thought to herself, trying to calm the jealousy and anger building in her chest, yet, she added to herself, clearly unable to get the thoughts out of her head.
How could she?
Arizona turned on her heels, kicked the wheels out on her sneakers and skated down the hall, tears already falling from her eyes. She knew that things weren't official yet, thanks to herself. But, Arizona had never had any doubt in her mind that Callie wanted to be with her once she was ready for a public coming out. She skated up to the door of her office, threw the door open, hurried inside, and threw the door shut behind her.
How could I be that dumb? Fucking look at her Arizona. Of course, she has options.
Arizona pulled her phone out of her pocket and looked at the time. She could go home… after she cried in her office for a few minutes so she didn't have to run out of the hospital crying.
Fuck.
Arizona could not control the tears spilling from her eyes. She loved Callie, more than anything. So why couldn't she just pony up and claim her? Why did she have to constantly fuck things up? What the hell was stopping her from coming out to her co-workers? Was it really about protecting Callie from homewrecker jokes? Christian from embarrassment and knowing stares? Or was it about her, protecting her own image, not wanting the world to know she was gay? Fuck, that therapy really fucked with my head, she thought to herself, finally laughing for a moment.
Sadness quickly turned to anger. No, she thought, this isn't my fault. I kept my end of the deal. I left everything behind for her. She balled her fists, wiping her tears away aggressively with the back of her right fist. It's barely been two weeks. I deserved some fucking time.
Arizona had decided angry suited her better. Sadness was not something she did well anymore, between the events of the last 12 years, and working as a pediatric surgeon, she had learned to be tough. She fixed herself up, put some eyedrops in her eyes, and grabbed her things to leave.
Thursday
June 24, 2010
5:11 PM
"You ready to get your ass kicked?" Callie asked Eliza as she opened the door to Joe's after their shift.
"Again, I won that fucking bet," Eliza warned, walking inside the building in front of Callie.
"We'll see about that. Vodka or tequila?"
"Are you trying to kill me? I'm not 24 anymore – vodka."
"I feel like that's cheating, but I also feel like you're probably right."
"I usually am," Eliza retorted, walking over to the bar and plopping down onto a stool. She patted the seat next to her, "Come on, let's go. We don't have all night."
"You're eager for someone about to owe me $100," Callie answered, sitting down on the stool. "Hey Joe, 2 shots of vodka, keep them coming. This one's about to get her ass kicked."
"You got it," Joe answered, grabbing two shot glasses and a bottle of vodka from behind the bar. He poured two shots and slid them down the bar to the two women.
"Bottom's up!" Eliza exclaimed, picking up the shot and tossing it back quickly. Callie followed suit and signaled for Joe to pour them two more.
Their contest went on like that, both women downing a total of 6 shots each.
"Do you remember that night we found that girl rolling a blunt in her underwear outside that old drag bar in Greenwich Village?" Callie asked the woman next to her with a laugh.
"Like I could forget that, she stole my favorite jacket!"
"Okay, but I got it back," Callie answered, downing her 7th shot. "You're one behind."
"It's called an intermission Callie, I'm pacing myself," Eliza answered, pushing the shot glass away from her.
"Just admit it, you can't hang like you used to," Callie answered, downing an 8th, "That's two."
"Are those fucking water?!" Eliza quipped, grabbing the bottle of vodka Joe had left for them and sniffing it. She picked up her 7th shot and downed it. "I don't give up that easily."
"You're still one behind, just give me the $100," Callie laughed as Eliza took her 8th shot. "Okay, fine, we'll just be passed out in one of the booths in a few hours."
"Thankfully, we're off tomorrow," Eliza answered as she poured them each another shot.
Callie didn't answer.
Eliza looked up at her friend, "Callie?"
Callie didn't answer, staring straight through Eliza.
"Callie?" Eliza asked, turning around to see what had caught Callie's attention.
Glancing around the room for a moment, she tried to decide what had caught the taller woman's attention. Then, suddenly, she saw it. Arizona Robbins, sitting in a booth in the back corner of the bar, her legs dangling off the edge of the booth, a tall blonde standing between them, their lips locked together.
Eliza swung back around to her friend and shouted, "I fucking knew it! You have a thing for Sunshine over there."
The abrupt yell, and subsequent use of Callie's secret nickname for the blonde, from the brunette beside her snapped Callie out of her trance, swatting Eliza in the process, "… That's what I call her… But jeez, chill."
"You just went comatose, don't tell me to chill," Eliza exaggerated pushing the shot she'd just poured toward Callie, "You look like you need this."
Callie picked the shot up, downed it, and poured herself another.
"Okay, on second thought, maybe we should stop before we end up dead," Eliza said, taking the shot from Callie and pushing the bottle out of her reach.
Callie didn't answer, her eyes still locked on Arizona who was suddenly not all that afraid of her friends knowing she, at the very least, swung for both teams. The young intern had since disappeared into the bathroom, and Arizona was nursing her 8th glass of whiskey, neat. Arizona's drink when she was really upset.
"You fucking her, or just pining over her?" Eliza asked with a knowing grin.
Callie laughed, reached over Eliza and grabbed the shot, downing it quickly, "Both."
"Oh, damn, that's rough, even I need another one," Eliza answered, pouring herself another shot and taking it. "Okay, now that I'm sufficiently drunk enough to put my therapist hat on, spill."
"There's nothing to spill," Callie answered, calling Joe over to get their bill. She tossed her credit card on the check, pulled an $100 bill out of her pocket and handed it to Eliza, who refused to take it. "You win, I – I really gotta get out of here."
Once the bill was paid, Callie grabbed her jacket and headed for the door. Eliza left the $100 bill for Joe, and grabbed her jacket to run after the orthopedic surgeon. On her way out the door she caught Arizona's eye. Eliza shook her head, shooting the severely intoxicated Arizona a look that could kill. She followed Callie, speeding up her erratic stride to catch up to the brunette, "Callie, wait! You're drunk, and just, calm down!"
Callie stopped in her tracks and turned around, an certain sadness painted on her face that could break a grown man's heart.
"Damn Torres, you've got it bad," Eliza said once they were outside.
"It's nothing," Callie told her finally, starting to walk away from the building. Thankfully, her apartment building was just up the street.
"Callie, I fucked your best friend right in front of you and the next day you took me out to dinner. Unless you've done a complete 180 in the last six years, you, Torres, do not do feelings," Eliza told her, stumbling to catch up, stopping her in her tracks near the edge of the building.
"I love her, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?" Callie yelled.
Eliza froze for a second, "Oh… Oh, shiiiit."
"Oh yeah oh shit. This is the biggest shit. Shit doesn't even begin to describe it. God Eliza! Like, seriously, FUCK this shit," Callie growled.
"It's gonna be okay," Eliza told her, "Maybe she just –"
"Maybe she what Eliza?!" Callie shouted as she searched her pockets for her keys, preparing to get the fuck out of there. "Maybe she what? Maybe she didn't know how I felt? No, I'm pretty fucking sure she's known for 12 fucking years. 12 fucking years Eliza!"
"It was her." Eliza said, realization dawning on her, her statement coming out half as a question, half as a statement of fact. "She's the one - "
"Yup, perky, sunshine in fucking human form, dimpled face Arizona fucking Robbins broke my fucking heart, TWICE NOW," Callie growled, dragging Eliza behind her as she crossed the street. She was torn between anger and sadness and could barely form a coherent thought. Arizona would kiss that stupid intern, Murphy, in public, but not her. She thought Arizona wanted her when she was ready, not her and a slew of women until she was ready to settle down.
She finally found her keys in her jacket pocket and pulled Eliza into her apartment building with her.
"Callie, we can't – you're my friend and - " Eliza started to say, pulling herself from the brunette's grasp.
"Oh, that's not what this is, you're not driving home, and I'm about 2 minutes from drunk ugly crying and Yang's on overnight tonight and," Callie started to ramble as they waited for the elevator.
"You need a friend," Eliza interrupted with a smile, "I'm here to drunk ugly cry with you then! Let's get it. Cry away Torres!"
Callie laughed and pulled her friend into a tight hug, the tears coming sooner than she expected, "Thanks."
Arizona had witnessed the whole interaction. From the moment Eliza spat daggers at her without so much as a word uttered, Arizona had snapped out of her stupor. She turned to look out the window and watched as Callie shouted at Eliza, hearing every word, right up to how she'd now broken Callie's heart twice.
Fuck.
Maybe I had It all wrong, Arizona thought. No, she'd heard Callie flirting with Eliza in the hallway. Okay, maybe it was more like playful banter between friends, but Callie hadn't told her about her past with Eliza. Not like I ever talked about my past with Christian, she corrected herself.
Fuck. I really fucked this up now.
Arizona pulled some bills out of her wallet and threw them on the bar as she exited, calling herself a cab to get home. As she waited, she watched as Callie and Eliza stumbled drunkenly across the street, still shouting things at each other, but she couldn't make out what they were saying. All she could see was Callie dragging Eliza into her apartment building.
I think that's triple fuck.
Arizona took out her phone, texting Callie all she could manage in her drunken haze:
Callie.
There was no response until she got home.
Don't.
At least a response meant Callie wasn't currently sleeping with Eliza.
Callie please.
She could barely see the phone in her hand as she crashed onto her bed fully clothed.
No. It's over.
Tuesday
June 29, 2010
8:21 AM
It was a typical morning at Seattle Grace Mercy West. Except for on this particular Tuesday, Arizona Robbins was not her typical cheery self. There were no smiles, no laughs, no playful jokes with her patients, but most notably, no wheelie shoes. The once perky pediatric surgeon hadn't spoken to Callie in almost 5 days. Once Callie had told her it was over, she'd exhausted nearly every option trying to get the brunette to talk to her by day one: calling, texting, paging her for consults, cornering her in the pit, leaving notes in her locker. She was borderline desperate. She knew she'd fucked up, again – but she'd thought – and wasn't that fucking stupid, she thought to herself. It didn't matter what she'd thought, she should have trusted Callie. I should've stopped fucking hiding, she thought.
"Dr. Robbins, we just admitted Ruby Kendall, 9 years old, appendicitis," Alex Karev told Arizona as he walked up to the nurses station where Arizona was leaning against the desk.
"Thanks, how's she doing?" Arizona asked, taking the chart from his hands.
"We're monitoring her, but it's not looking good, we need to get her into surgery, now" Karev answered,. Just then the hospital alarm started blaring across the floor.
Arizona looked up as the nurses and doctors around her started to panic. "It's just a drill guys, everyone calm down."
"There's no drill scheduled today," a nurse from behind the desk said, a panicked look on her face.
Arizona picked up the phone, hitting the button for OR 3, she waited a minute before speaking "Can you get prepped for an emergency appy? And page little Grey."
"What? Why?"
"Fuck."
Arizona put the phone down, "Okay, people, people. Pay attention. This is not a drill. We're sealing the floor. Nobody in or out, if you're here, you're here. We're understaffed It's all hands on deck. Check your patients, then come back here and see who needs help… move… seal the floor, now."
She paused for a moment as everyone scurried to follow her orders, "And people, DO NOT alarm the tiny humans or their parents… they're scary when they're afraid."
She headed toward Ruby Kendall's room, sitting down beside her bed to attempt to comfort her. It wasn't looking good for the young girl and she desperately needed her appendix removed before it bursts.
"You good in here Robbins?" Karev asked from the doorway to Ruby's room.
"Yeah, of course, we're okay, aren't we Ruby?" Arizona asked, leaning down over the little girl in fear.
"I'll sit with her, you go keep moving," Karev told her, knowing that Arizona dealt best by forcing herself to work in stressful situations.
Arizona shot her protégé a thankful smile and stood up to leave the room, "You call me the second this gets bad, prep to handle this outside of an OR."
"Robbins, what's going on?" He placed his hands over Ruby's ears.
"There's a shooter in the hospital," Arizona whispered, and walked out of the room.
Arizona was pacing the floor of the peds unit, inspecting charts, checking in on patients, assisting the few interns she had, and desperately trying to page downstairs for more information, having left her phone in her locker. The only page she received back was from Teddy, reading OR 2. At least she was safe. Callie. Arizona let out a sigh when she remembered that the woman she loved was off today, she'd been checking her schedule all week. Christian.
She checked her pager again, still no response from him. She headed for the phone, trying his office. When she received no answer, she hesitantly walked toward Tanner Lawrence's room. She peeked inside, seeing the young boy resting with his mother, no Christian in sight. But, Arizona knew, he'd come eventually – his whole family was on this floor.
"Dr. Robbins," an intern called from down the hall, "I – I don't know what's wrong but this kid won't stop crying."
"They're scared, comfort them," Arizona snapped, turning her attention back to Ruby's room. She walked in, "How's it going in here?"
"Hanging in there," Karev said, patting Ruby on the back gently, "She's tough, and her appendix is holding on for now."
"Have you been able to get in touch with anyone?" Arizona asked, "I don't have my phone. Altman is in OR 2."
"Hunt and Yang are with her, they're in the middle of surgery –"
"Christian isn't answering his pages," Arizona cut in.
"Neither is Torres," Karev added.
"She's off today," Arizona said, forgetting that it would be odd she knew that.
"Well, I saw her on my way up this morning. She was taking the Dianetti kid down to physical therapy with Spalding," Karev told her.
"Alexandra," Arizona whispered, turning to exit the room. She headed down the hall, coming to a stop outside Alexandra's room. Mackenzie was inside the room, alone.
"Dr. Robbins," Mackenzie said, jumping up to rush over to the blonde doctor. "What's going on?"
"Is Alexandra at PT?" Arizona asked, ignoring her question – all signs of professionalism out the window.
"Yes, Dr. Torres and Dr. Spalding came and took her down about 15 minutes ago, but what was that alarm? Is everything okay?" Mackenzie asked, worried.
"No… There's a shooter in the hospital. Stay in here, I'll come get you when I have an update," Arizona told her, leaving and shutting the door behind her.
Fuck. Callie is in the hospital.
They'd heard the first round of shots. Pop. Pop. Pop.
Spalding had locked the double doors cutting them off from the main hallway of the PT wing. He'd shoved some of the heavier medical equipment against the door and rejoined Callie and Alexandra who were sitting on the floor in the left corner of the room.
"Do you think it's over?" Dr. Spalding asked, looking at Callie for an answer.
Pop. Pop. Pop.
That sounded closer, too close… in their hallway close. Callie stood up from her place on the floor and looked over the filing cabinet they were using to hide themselves. She saw the shadow of someone walk toward the left of the door. Suddenly, she heard the sound of the door handle rattling as someone tried to enter the room. Deciding to give up a moment later, she watched the figure walk down the hallway, the hallway where, if you cut through the stairwell, would lead you right into the unblocked hallway where their room was.
Callie crouched back down as she heard the stairwell door open. She heard a door open.
"No, please!" Someone shouted. Pop.
Footsteps started approaching and she moved to block the little girl with her body, keeping her huddled into the corner behind herself and Dr. Spalding.
"He's going to see us once he rounds that corner," Dr. Torres said softly into Dr. Spalding's ear, trying not to alarm the little girl who had gone totally silent, shaking with fear in her wheelchair, her breathing significantly labored.
"I know," Ryan confirmed. "Maybe I can distract him, get him away from Alexandra," Ryan told her, moving to stand up.
"No. You have a family, I'm going. Cover her with my lab coat, and protect her, okay?" Callie told him, standing up from behind the filing cabinet. Since it was her day off, and she'd only come in to check on Alexandra thanks to a text from Lexie about significant change in Alexandra's spinal curve, she was still dressed in plain clothes, jeans and a white sweatshirt.
She stepped toward the center of the room, just as the intruder walked out into the open room, turning his gun on Callie immediately.
"Who are you?" He asked.
"My – My na – My name is Callie," Callie stuttered out nervously. She'd never had a gun pointed at her before. Her knees were shaking, her breathing labored.
"What are you doing here?" He asked her, keeping his gun locked on the doctor.
"I – I –"
He pulled the safety back on the gun and asked again, "What are you doing here?"
"I'm here with my daughter," Callie answered without thinking.
"Where is she?" The man asked.
"I'm her doctor," Dr. Spalding said, coming out from his spot behind the filing cabinet.
The man turned his gun on Ryan immediately, pulling the trigger. Ryan fell to the ground immediately, blood pooling around the gunshot wound in the center of his forehead.
Callie moved immediately, running toward the child in the corner, covered by her lab coat, "Alexandra!" She yelped as she darted out of the way and toward the little girl, nearly diving to block her from the man's view.
Pop.
Callie's body slumped down over the little girl, pleading, "Please, please, please leave her alone. She's only ten. Please. She's just a child. A baby. She hasn't done anything wrong, please."
"This hospital kills people you know. I just saved your kids life. Sor – Sorry about the shot, I - I hope you make it out of here. I'm sorry. I – It all just got so out of hand," he said, turning to leave the room. Callie remembered this man, Clark something. The Chief and Derek had beat themselves up over her death for a while during the lawsuit.
When Callie was sure he was gone, she let her body fall backwards off the little girl. She looked up at the child, her blood soaked lab coat still resting over the child.
"Alexandra, are you okay?" Callie choked out, grabbing at her sweatshirt to pull it up and over her head as best she could. .
"Yes," the little girl whimpered, "Is he gone?"
"Yes. Pr – Promise me you won't take that – that coat off," Callie choked again, balling the sweatshirt up and pressing it against the wound on her side. The gunshot had hit her in the side as she ran, slicing into her body. She could feel herself getting weaker, the pain starting to make her delirious. Fuck.
"Dr. Torres, are you okay?" Alexandra asked panicked.
She reached around as best she could, trying to feel for an exit wound. She couldn't find one. Fuck. She used what little strength she had left to pull herself over to Ryan's limp body. She closed her eyes and grimaced, feeling his pockets for his pager. She managed to send PT 911 to whomever his last page was from before she slumped backwards onto the floor.
"Dr. Torres?" Alexandra whimpered, starting to cry. Fuck, Callie thought to herself, Crying could literally suffocate her.
"I'm – I'm okay Alex, just stay hiding okay, I need you to stay calm for me, please," Callie whispered, trying to reassure the girl. Truthfully, she had no idea how bad it was. There was a lot of blood, but she didn't feel like she was dying. What does dying even feel like? Callie reasoned with herself.
Arizona was pacing the hallway of the pediatrics wing again when she heard the sound of gun shots. Despite having experience with guns, having grown up a military brat, Arizona wasn't sure what kind of gun was making those shots. She prayed it was the police or SWAT, someone on their side.
Her worst nightmare was confirmed just seconds later when she watched a man approach the nurses station. Arizona froze just as Karev came running up to her, letting her know Ruby Kendall's appendix had burst. She felt the urge to intervene with her nurse, feeling like something wasn't right, but she turned and ran down the hallway toward Ruby's room to begin an emergency appendectomy on Ruby. Pop.
They'd just heard the sounds of the SWAT team invading their floor as they prepped the little girl. "Change of plan, let's get this kid down to the OR," Arizona shouted, "I'll meet you down there in a second, get started without me," Arizona instructed Karev as she moved back toward the nurse's station to make sure the coast was clear. The man was gone, but the SWAT team was slowly approaching a room toward the end of the hall, signaling silently to one another. Arizona couldn't quite make out which room they were eyeing. Pop. Pop.
She was standing close enough to hear their radios, "1st floor PT wing. Two down." *Static* "Torres… Spalding" *Static* then the distinct sound of Mark Sloan's voice in the background of the transmission, "WE NEED AN OR!"
The SWAT team suddenly charged, the sound of two more shots rang out against the walls of the pediatrics floor.
"ALL CLEAR. Two down, suspect neutralized."
Notes: *The eleventh hour is legal terminology, in this situation it essentially just means that the settlement offer from the hospital, doctors, and malpractice insurance carrier came at the last minute, right before the verdict was about to come down.
Didn't wanna drag the shooting out too long since some of you didn't want to read it, so I hope this was a happy balance.
So, apparently I lied about taking a break to pack. Just, had to get this one out for you guys. Sorry about the major cliffhangers here. Who do you think got shot/is dead, other than Dr. Spalding?
Let's also try not to hate Arizona, she's confused. And I had to make Eliza likeable, I'm tired of all the homewreckers lol.
Also credit to Grey's for the whole remake of Arizona's locking down the Peds floor.