Chapter 17
Note: Okay, I don't hate the new place, I just hate change – just like one of you guys said. I vow not to pull an Arizona and go worst case scenario instantly.
I do believe one of you was right, and Aria in the show is older and only Lucia's child. I switched it up, sorry about that.
Also, rest assured – Callie and Minnick have never been more than just friends. Friends can colossally fuck up their friendships too! And orphaned kids go home with their friends for holidays, I certainly did!
502, I too really want Cuban food now.
This is shorter than usual, but I wanted to give you guys a teaser since it's been a few days. We're still not done with the move yet, but we're mostly settled in. Pretty much, all I've got left is needing to beg my girlfriend to decorate the townhouse for me. I'm used to a one floor apartment, and now I'm in a 3-story townhouse with absolutely no idea how to decorate it. BUT, we're getting there! I should be back to almost daily updates this weekend.
Tuesday
July 6, 2010
9:25 AM
Just as Dr. Webber had promised, Callie Torres was home, in her own bed, by Monday afternoon. Prior to Callie's return home, Arizona had stocked her refrigerator, set up her bedroom so that anything Callie might need was easily accessible, placed a vase filled with flowers on Callie's nightstand, and left a handwritten note on her nightstand. Callie had gone back to her apartment with her parents and sister while Arizona saw Dr. Lindstrom for the third time.
Despite her aversion to the process, Arizona found herself benefiting greatly from her talks with Dr. Lindstrom – looking forward to them even. Today, however, was different. Today, she needed to be cleared to operate. She'd already had to turn over two scheduled surgeries to Dr. Fields and Dr. Atlman and, if she wasn't cleared today, she'd be adding two more to that list: Tanner Lawrence and Rylee Adams, a child who was set to receive a tumor resection.
Arizona hadn't seen Callie since Monday morning. After finishing up with the trauma counselor, Arizona had called Callie to see if she wanted her to come over, but Aria had answered the phone and told Arizona that Callie was asleep, and she would be spending the night with her. Arizona had started to protest, wanting to be with Callie every step, but Aria had made a pretty convincing argument for Arizona to go home, shower, and relax for a night while Callie got to spend some quality time with her sister.
Surprisingly, Arizona had listened. After finishing up her session with Dr. Lindstrom around 4:30 PM on Monday, she went home for the first time in a week. She'd expected to feel weird walking into the home she'd once shared with Christian, where they'd had their final talk, but she didn't. Instead, she'd felt calm, almost at peace. She took a long shower, made herself some scrambled eggs, and fell asleep on her couch. Arizona slept for nearly 12 hours that night, waking up just in time to get ready for her most important session with Dr. Lindstrom.
"Dr. Robbins?" a short blonde-haired woman questioned from her place at the reception desk outside Dr. Lindstrom's office, pulling Arizona from her thoughts.
"Yes, that's me," Arizona replied standing up from the large black chair she had been sitting in off to the side of the desk.
"Dr. Lindstrom is ready for you," the woman answered, gesturing toward the door to the doctors office.
"Thank you," Arizona answered, walking toward the door and knocking on it. After receiving a reply from the doctor, Arizona opened the door, walked inside, and closed the door behind her.
"Good morning Dr. Robbins," Dr. Lindstrom said, standing up to shake the fellow doctors hand.
"Good morning," Arizona replied, shaking the doctors hand quickly before moving to sit in her usual chair.
"How is Dr. Torres feeling? I understand she was released yesterday," Dr. Lindstrom said, settling herself back down into her own chair.
"Her parents brought her home while I was with you yesterday," Arizona answered with a small smile, "I spoke with her sister last night, she said Callie was resting comfortably."
"I take it you haven't seen her?" the doctor asked gently.
"Not since before our session yesterday," Arizona confirmed.
"I know we've been discussing you needing to be comfortable being away from her. How are you feeling about that?"
"Okay, actually. I'm glad her family is here now, I think it's helping her. I recognize that I can't be by her side every second of every day," Arizona said confidently, "I actually went home last night, finally. Took a shower, made something to eat, did the typical mundane nightly routine and actually slept."
"That's great, I'm so glad to hear that!" Dr. Lindstrom replied, genuinely.
"I guess I needed that sleep," Arizona answered with another smile, "I slept for like 12 hours. I haven't slept that much since undergrad."
"Your body needed a recharge," the doctor answered.
"I guess so."
"Do you want to pick up where we left off yesterday?" Dr. Lindstrom asked after a moment of silence. Arizona wasn't very good at starting the conversation, typically requiring prompting from the trauma counselor.
"Sure," Arizona answered simply.
"So, when we left off yesterday, we were talking about your coming out process," the doctor prompted.
"Right… my parents," Arizona answered meekly. She drew in a deep breath and looked up at the doctor. Dr. Taylor Lindstrom was young, but particularly skilled at making herself seem older, giving Arizona a level of comfort she hadn't expected to have while in counseling.
"We spoke about how your dad reacted," the doctor prompted again, "but we never got to discuss how your mother handled it."
"My mom knew, back then," Arizona explained, "She – she's the one who forced me into the conversion therapy… she – she had threatened to take everything away, including medical school."
"Have you forgiven her for that?"
Arizona paused for a moment, did I forgive her?
"I – You know what? No. No, I haven't," Arizona finally responded, no hint of hesitation in her voice.
"Have you talked to her about that?"
"No. I – I came out to her all over again about two weeks ago, and while she told me she loved me and we'd get through this, we've barely spoken since," Arizona told the doctor sadly.
"It sounds like you're not comfortable with that," the doctor answered, jotting down a quick note on her notepad.
"Honestly, I'm not," Arizona answered, "Timothy and my dad have been incredible. They ask about Callie constantly… my dad even sent her a care package for when she got back home… My mom only asked once if Callie was okay, and I'm pretty sure my dad forced her to."
"Have you ever thought of writing your mom a letter?"
"No."
"Would you be willing to try that?"
"Yeah, I guess so. The worst she could do is throw it away without reading it," Arizona answered.
"Well, I'll be damned, I expected a protest," Dr. Lindstrom replied with a smile.
"I'll be honest. I didn't think counseling would be as helpful as it has been," Arizona told her with a laugh, "I'd hate it if you walked into my OR and told me how to perform a surgery, so I'm not going to walk into your office and tell you how to do your job… I'm done fighting it. I need help navigating all of this, and if you think something could help, I'm going to give it my best shot."
"I can promise you, I'll never step foot in your OR," Dr. Lindstrom answered with a grin, "But, I am glad to hear how open to this process you've become."
"I can't promise this outlook will stay this way, but for now, I'm trying," Arizona answered honestly.
The doctor nodded her understanding and continued, "on Sunday we talked about you exploring being open about your sexuality, and I gave you a little homework assignment. Have you completed it?"
A huge smile spread across Arizona's lips at the question, "I'm sure you'll be surprised to hear this, but yes, I actually did."
"Tell me about it," the doctor replied happily.
"I left Aria and Mark with Callie on Sunday afternoon," Arizona began, "and I wanted to do something nice for Callie so she'd get home to a comfortable space… her roommate isn't exactly the best at stocking the fridge, or keeping things comfortable… so I stole Callie's apartment key and went out to prepare."
"You have been doing better at leaving Callie's side," the doctor said with a gentle smile.
"Yes, I'm trying. She's – she's alive, and she's not going anywhere," Arizona answered.
"You are both alive," the doctor corrected.
Arizona nodded in agreement, "So anyway, I went to the grocery store to get her some food and snacks. I wound up chatting with the clerk at check out and… I can't believe how easy it was to just say it."
"That's great to hear. How did it come up?"
"I was still dressed in scrubs and my lab coat, and the clerk told me he'd heard about the shooting at the hospital. He asked me if I had known anyone that had gotten hurt, that he was praying for each and every one of us… I – I told him I lost friends, and that the woman I loved had been shot, but she was healing," Arizona finished, smiling to herself at the thought.
"How did it go?"
"Honestly? It wasn't even a thing?"
"Did you think it would be?"
"It's only been 7 years since this country deemed homosexuality legal," Arizona answered, "Of course I thought it would be a big deal."*
"But it wasn't?"
"The kid barely even blinked, instead he told me he couldn't imagine losing his girlfriend like that… that he was happy that I still had her… that he'd pray for her to recover quickly."
"How do you feel about that?"
"It… it felt incredible. I think that was the first moment I've ever felt proud to be a lesbian."
"Now that's a 180 from Saturday," the doctor said with a grin, jotting down another note on her pad.
"It was the easiest thing I've ever done. I surprised myself," Arizona answered smiling.
"You deserve to feel proud," the doctor told her.
"I'm getting there… baby steps," Arizona told the doctor.
"Why do you think it was so easy for you this time?"
"… I've got nothing left to lose," Arizona answered instinctively.
"Wait – no, that sounded wrong," Arizona added quickly, stumbling to find a way to better explain.
"What's wrong with what you said?" the doctor asked, cutting off Arizona's nervous rambling.
"I obviously still have something to lose… Callie, myself… maybe even my career?"
"You think being a lesbian will affect your career?" Dr. Lindstrom asked, "Why?"
"What if parents refuse to let me operate on their kids? Or what if I get fired?"
"Do you think Dr. Webber cares, or even knows, about your preferences?"
"He knows. I – I told him the other day… about Callie and I," Arizona answered.
"Look at you doing your homework before it's even assigned," Dr. Lindstrom told her with a smile.
"He didn't seem to care at all," Arizona answered.
"And Dr. Torres, she's been out since you met her, right?"
"Yes."
"Do you feel like it's affected her career in any way?"
"No, Callie is a badass."
"Why do you think patients, or their parents, need to know who you go home to every night?"
"They don't… but, we work together," Arizona answered, "And we've been told we don't hide our relationship well."
"If that's the case, have any parents said anything to either of you?"
"No. No one has said a thing," Arizona said, coming to her own realization.
"And you've been seeing Dr. Torres for almost 7 months now, right?"
"Yes."
"I'd like you to try this exercise with yourself whenever you feel negativity coming along. I like to call it Fact Finding. Essentially, you'll do the exact same thing we just did… Ask yourself simple questions, like I just asked you. So, to use the same example, you're concerned that your sexuality will ruin your career – look for the facts to support or refute that assumption. If you refute it, move on, if you confirm it, we can discuss that fear and come up with ways to work around it."
"That sounds fair," Arizona said. After all, her brain worked better with facts and data than it does with assumptions.
"Great, I look forward to hearing how that works for you," the doctor told her.
"I wish I'd done that when I heard about Callie and Eliza," Arizona mumbled under her breath.
"We can't change the past Dr. Robbins, we can only make the future brighter," the doctor reminded her gently.
"That's why I'm here," she answered.
"This is certainly a good start" the doctor encouraged. "Do you want to talk more about what happened with Dr. Torres and Dr. Minnick?"
"I guess I can't pretend it didn't happen this whole time, can I?" Arizona asked with a chuckle.
"You've been tackling everything else with grace, what's stopping you from dealing with this aspect of your life?"
"Is embarrassment a fair answer?" Arizona joked.
"Yes, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't address it," Dr. Lindstrom answered, eyeing Arizona carefully.
"I mean, I already told you what happened. I overheard a conversation – they were flirting, and I just freaked out. I know Callie is a flirt, I love that about her – I guess I freaked out because I didn't know Callie and Eliza had a past – and finding out that way just made me feel like she was lying to me. But Callie has never lied to me – which is why I wish I'd had that little tool of yours – I should have just talked to her. But, I – I lied… I lied for so long that I assumed she was too. And I got wasted and kissed that intern and broke her heart all over again – for nothing," Arizona recalled, annoyed with herself.
"For nothing?" the doctor questioned.
"All for nothing, I talked to Eliza after it happened – she told me everything… She and Callie did have a sexual relationship years ago, but they were never anything more than friends… they're friends," Arizona explained.
"Okay, but let's revisit that statement, was it all for nothing?"
"I don't understand," Arizona said, confused.
"It led you here, didn't it?"
"In therapy?"
"In a place where you want to deal with your trauma… where you're ready to work on yourself," the doctor corrected.
"Oh… Oh, I – yes," Arizona answered nervously. She hadn't thought of it that way.
"Have you talked to Dr. Torres about what happened?"
"Not really, she mostly throws it in my face when she's angry – but, I understand. I deserve to hear it, I've hurt her too many times," Arizona responded sadly.
"Are you ready to talk to her about it? It sounds like Callie would appreciate resolution on that topic as well. It's important for you two to communicate if you intend to be together," Dr. Lindstrom answered.
"I know, it's just like I said, I've been trying to keep negativity away from her, and now her parents are in town… and her sister, who I'm not sure likes me very much. I'm afraid of a fight… she needs peace."
"We've talked about communication techniques, you have those tools. But, you need to do everything on your own time, not rush things because you think that'll make this process end quicker and get you back in the OR."
"I know, and I will talk to Callie… I want her to feel safe with me. But, for now… I'd – I'd like to talk about Christian," Arizona said. "I know you told me I'd know when I was ready to operate again, and that I shouldn't make that the focus of counseling, but I – I am ready."
"Are you?"
"Yes," Arizona said confidently. "I've been doing rounds, consults, everything but operating – and I know it's only been six days, but I – I am ready. Being in the OR again doesn't scare me, the thought of not getting in there does… I know Altman would be fine doing this with Yang, but with watching Hunt get shot… and Karev would be okay, but - but I need to do this," Arizona drug out slowly.
"Let's chat more about that," the doctor answered, not giving Arizona an answer either way.
"We've talked about everything, and I'm handling it, and I'm going to keep handling it. This is nothing new. And – and this is probably the best I've ever handled anything in my life… I've given myself space to grieve Christian," Arizona started, "I was in the shower this morning, and I was in the middle of some very ugly crying when all of a sudden it turned into laughter."
The doctor didn't reply, allowing Arizona to continue.
"I was crying over our last conversation… It was so full of hope and plans for a better future as friends, and then he went and died. I thought about it a little too hard and suddenly I was just laughing over it. Like what a fucking joke to play on us both. Killing Christian? But then I realized, I'm not crying because I miss him, or because I'd made the last few months of his life hell… I was crying because he got that closure… and I was afraid I'd lose that last little chance to make things right, to get my closure," Arizona finished. "It felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I wasn't feeling guilty because I lived and he died. I was feeling guilty because I might not be able to give him the only thing he's ever asked of me."
"To help save his son?" The doctor asked.
"Not just that, but to be happy, genuinely happy," Arizona answered, "Yes, I need to help save his son. I truly believe that's the last piece of closure I need to move on,"
"That sounds like a big revelation," the doctor told her.
"Teddy – Dr. Atlman – she's my best friend. We, we talked about it on my drive over this morning. She told me that closure comes in all forms, and that for me, it may just be that I need to give Christian his son – give Christian's life purpose, even after his death," Arizona told her. "I thought I was being selfish because I know I'm ready, even though this all just happened – like was I just thinking that this could be the last piece of the Weston puzzle for me, that I'm just trying to put it behind me?… but that wasn't it. It's not selfish, at all. That's not whyI want to do this for him… I'm not doing it for me, or to add another successful transplant to my record, or to make good on my promise… no, I'm doing this because Christian needs this and it's something I can give him. He may be gone, but I believe that he's up there, somewhere, watching. He needs to have a purpose, and I think being able to watch his son grow, protect him from above, that's what's going to give his life meaning. Christian may have died, but his son will live on and while I can't go back and change the past I can do this."
"I'm going to clear you to operate, Dr. Robbins," the doctor told her with a grin. She stood up from her chair and walked over to her desk to retrieve the necessary forms. She added in a few of the blanks, signed her name, and handed the form to Arizona.
"Thank – thank you," Arizona replied, taking the paper from the doctor, tears starting to well in her eyes. "And – before you say it, no, I'm not going to stop coming to see you. This is all just step one."
"I'm glad to hear that. Truth be told, I didn't expect you to stop coming, but I am glad that I didn't have to talk you into it. Therapy always works better when it's your decision to come."
After meeting with Dr. Lindstrom, Arizona had immediately gone to put her paperwork on Dr. Webber's desk – Christian's old desk. Dr. Webber hadn't changed a thing about the office, except for the nameplate on the desk. She smiled at the sight, and laughed when she noticed Christian's old bedroom chair tucked away in the corner of the office. While it still hurt to think about him, and the future he missed out on, Arizona had no choice but to smile – she had a job to do. Once she left the office, she went downstairs to the skills lab and immediately began working with Dr. Altman on a game plan regarding Tanner Lawrence's surgery.
Tuesday
July 6, 2010
10:55 PM
By the time Arizona had finished making rounds, checking in on patients, and prepping herself for her upcoming surgeries, it was after 9:00. She'd originally told Callie she'd be back around 7:30, but she'd gotten caught up in conversation with the Dianetti's and lost track of the time. When she got to Callie's, the brunette was already sound asleep in her bed. Arizona hurried quietly around the room getting herself ready for bed, climbing in beside the brunette when she was finished.
It was almost 11:00 when Callie awoke from sleep after shifting awkwardly onto her side, aggravating her injury. She turned over onto her back, her right arm coming into contact with a sleeping Arizona beside her. She glanced over at the clock, 10:55. She hadn't stirred when Arizona crawled into bed with her, unaware of what time she'd even arrived. Callie leaned over and cuddled her body up against Arizona's back, draping her arm over the sleeping blonde as best she could. She pressed a kiss to the side of Arizona's head and laid back comfortably into Arizona's back.
As much as Callie enjoyed having the blonde with her, the increasing amount of space Arizona was periodically giving her was doing wonders in helping her get past what had happened between them prior to the shooting. Not being able to think, process, or grieve any of it was coming out as aggression toward everyone at this point, no longer just Arizona. Being away from her today had given her some space to truly think about things. She shifted her position again, turning so that she could see the rise and fall of Arizona's chest as she slept.
Little do you know,
How I'm breaking while you fall asleep.
Little do you know,
I'm still haunted by the memories.
Little do you know,
I'm trying to pick myself up piece by piece.
Little do you know,
I need a little more time.
Callie could understand why Aria was so upset with Arizona, she was too. But, at the end of the day, if she put being with Arizona and angry vs. being without Arizona and angry, the former won every time. They hadn't discussed much. Callie never wanted to hear the why, but now, she wondered if it would help her adjust to just one more layer of hurt before it finally got good. Callie knew deep down it was naïve to think that the events of the last week would be the end of their mutual suffering, but she held onto the thought that it was the start of happiness.
Callie ran a hand down the side of Arizona's body. The thought of never getting to hold her again, kiss her again, love her again made her sick to her stomach. Even before the shooting, she'd struggled with her decision to end things with Arizona. She knew deep down that Arizona was only acting out, like she always did, but Callie was tired of it. She was tired of making excuses for Arizona – why she ran in the first place, why they never spoke again, why it took her so long to leave her husband, why she was afraid to be with her, why she kissed someone else – it was exhausting. By the time she was walking angrily into the hospital on Wednesday morning, she had actually been planning to have one final talk with Arizona. She was going to give her an ultimatum.
Underneath it all,
I'm held captive by the hole inside.
I've been holding back,
For the fear that you might change your mind.
Arizona had started to stir at the sensation of Callie's fingertips brushing along her side.
"You're so loud," Arizona grumbled gently, coming out of her slumber. Her body shifted under the blankets, pulling them up to surround herself.
"What?" Callie asked gently.
"You're thinking so loud you woke me up," Arizona teased gently, turning over to face the brunette and wrapping her into her arms. "What's going on baby?"
"Oh, I – Sorry… I was just thinking about everything," Callie said gently, letting herself get comfortable in the blondes arms.
"Talk to me," Arizona said softly, bringing a hand up to begin toying with the brunette's hair.
"I'm so torn," Callie told her finally after a long moment of silence.
"Torn about what?"
"You," Callie answered honestly.
Arizona gulped nervously, but didn't flinch, continuing to play with Callie's hair. I'm in her bed, she's laying in my arms, she had me meet her family, she tells me she loves me every day. There was no reason to automatically assume Callie's statement meant she was changing her mind about them.
"Why, baby?" Arizona asked, already knowing what the problem was, but wanting Callie to continue talking to her. Communication is good.
"Are you really going to stay this time?" Callie asked her, tears starting to fall from her eyes onto Arizona's white t-shirt.
"Calliope," Arizona said with a soft sigh, "I'll never let you go again."
"You've said that before, and look where we are," Callie told her tenderly, not intending to start an argument, instead simply wanting to get her feelings off her chest.
"I won't make excuses for what I did. I won't minimize your experience with the hurt I've caused you either," Arizona whispered, "All I can do now is show you that I finally woke up. I love you Calliope, and I'll spend the rest of my life showing you that – not just telling you."
"Why did you?"
"I guess just saying I'm an idiot won't suffice, will it?"
"No, Arizona," Callie said with a light groan, "Help me understand."
"Because, I was lying so often and so well that I decided you must have been too… I heard that you had a past with Minnick, and I just decided that you keeping things from me meant that you had something to hide… because I always did… I – I projected. I projected myself onto you, and I'll spend the rest of my life regretting that," Arizona answered truthfully.
"You could have just asked me," Callie told her, snuggling her body in closer to the blonde, "I'd never lie to you."
I'm ready to forgive you,
But forgetting is a harder fight.
Little do you know,
I need a little more time.
"I should have known that," Arizona answered. "You've been nothing but absolutely incredible to me… from day one. And all I can do is tell you over and over that I am so deeply sorry. I will spend the rest of my life trying to make this up to you," Arizona told her sadly.
"I want to believe that – I do," Callie told, sighing gently, "You're doing a good job so far of showing me that you mean that… it's just going to take time for me to fully trust you again…"
I'll wait.
I'll wait.
I love you like you've never felt the pain.
I'll wait.
I promise you don't have to be afraid.
Arizona wrapped her arms tighter around Callie's body, pulling her impossibly closer. She truly did understand that she'd shattered Callie's trust in her, but the fact that she had caused that still made her stomach churn.
"Calliope," Arizona exhaled, "I love you… take all the time you need. I am not going anywhere."
"I don't think I could handle losing you again," Callie told her honestly.
"You don't have to worry about that, I promise you. There is nothing on this earth that will ever keep me away from you," Arizona answered, leaning her head down to press her lips against the top of the brunette's head.
Callie didn't respond, and instead wiggled her body until it was impossible to get any closer to Arizona. She lifted her head off the blonde's chest and looked up at her, tears still welling in the corner of her dark brown eyes. Brown eyes met blue, searching intently for any hint of dishonesty. Once she was satisfied that no doubt existed in those bright blue eyes, she leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to the slightly parted lips of the blonde below her.
Arizona took a moment to respond, shocked at Callie's initiation of affection. Since the shooting, Callie had been rather reserved with Arizona, returning affection intermittently, but never initiating. Wiping the thought from her mind, Arizona reached her hand up to caress the side of Callie's face, responding just as gently to Callie's kiss. They stayed like that for a moment, both sets of lips carefully exploring the other with lingering pecks, neither wanting to make the move to deepen their touch.
After one last prolonged peck of their lips, Callie pulled back and settled her head back down onto Arizona's chest, "I know I'm being difficult… I just need – promise me you'll be patient with me?"
Callie's quiet admission snapped Arizona from her fog. Callie had every right to take her time, to be hesitant – even difficult, and Arizona knew that, "Callie, please look at me."
The brunette hesitated; but leaned back up off of Arizona's chest and turned her head to face the blonde. She didn't speak, waiting for Arizona to continue.
"There are no words that I could say right now that could convince you I'm not going anywhere," Arizona whispered honestly. It was true, no amount of telling Callie things were different this time would be able to convince the brunette that this time Arizona was serious, sure of herself. "But, if you need to hear it, I'll try my best…" Arizona added before pausing to search the dark eyes looking down at her. "Calliope, you are the one. I knew that back when we first met, I knew that years down the road, and I still know that now. You are the one for me… If I could take it all back, I would in a heartbeat… But I can't, I can't go back and tell my parents to shove it. I can't rewind and show up at your dorm with breakfast like I'd never left. All I can do now is give you every little piece of me until you finally feel comfortable enough to give yourself to me, too. I love you, and I am not going anywhere, ever again… I'm way past the point where my mind can change. You're the perfect combination of heaven and chaos and I cannot imagine a life where you're not standing beside me… I'm yours Callie, for as long as you want me," Arizona told her, never breaking the eye contact they'd established.
I'll wait.
Love is here,
And here to stay.
So lay your head on me.
Calliope Torres did not cry often, but she was past the point of being able to control her emotions. Arizona had only confessed her love for her on two other occasions: the night she told Christian about their affair, and the morning of the shooting. This time was different, no major event had just occurred, there was no pain to try and hide from, this was genuine Arizona, talking to her like she'd never done before.
"Baby," Arizona cooed, lifting her hand to wipe the tears from Callie's cheeks, "Don't cry."
"I –" Callie tried to say. The tears falling from her eyes were making it impossible for her to form a coherent thought, no less speak.
"You don't need to say anything," Arizona told her softly, "If you never once told me how you felt about me again, I promise you I'd still know. You have shown me over and over again exactly how you feel."
Callie smiled graciously at Arizona's words. She couldn't speak if she wanted to. Instead, for the second time, Callie leaned over and initiated a series of gently laid kisses onto Arizona's lips.
This time, Arizona lifted both hands and cupped Callie's cheeks, pulling her closer and deepening their kiss. Her lips parted, her tongue slipped out of her mouth and ran softly along Callie's bottom lip, begging for entrance into Callie's mouth. For once, Callie did not hesitate. The brunette parted her lips and slipped her tongue out to meet Arizona's. Their kiss was sloppy, yet purposeful, full of caressing tongues, parted lips that couldn't quite find one another again fully, and soft moans muffled by the others mouth.
Minutes that felt like hours passed before Arizona slowly dropped her hands from Callie's cheeks and pulled back from their kiss. She leaned her forehead against Callie's and closed her eyes, "As long as I have you, I'll always have everything I need. I am so completely in love with you."
Little do you know,
I know you're hurting while I'm sound asleep.
Little do you know,
All my mistakes are slowly drowning me.
Little do you know,
I'm trying to make it better piece by piece.
Little do you know,
I – I love you till the sun does.
"I will regret how I treated you for the rest of my life," Arizona added, letting her fingertips brush up and down Callie's exposed right arm, tickling her skin softly.
"No," Callie told her, "No, you won't." She sighed softly, reveling in the feeling of Arizona's fingertips and raw vulnerability. She'd never seen the blonde like this before, so open, so honest, so gentle. It was almost too much for her to bare.
"I will never let myself forget," Arizona answered, "I can't let myself forget so that I make sure I never let this happen again. So that I never hurt you again… I will –"
"I know," Callie told her truthfully, "I know you will… Deep down, I know you're not going anywhere."
Arizona smiled at Callie's revelation, "I mean it Callie, I will wait for you. It's my turn to show you that my love for you is unwavering."
"I love you Arizona Robbins," Callie told her, finally.
"Oh Calliope," Arizona said, tears starting to fall from her own eyes, "I love you." She leaned down and pressed their lips together again.
"It's always been you," Callie told her once their lips parted.
"It's always been you Calliope," Arizona confirmed, pulling the brunette tighter into her body. "It will always be you."
'Cause little do you know I –
I love you till the sun dies.
Note:
*For all of you non-Americans, or those who just haven't learned this yet: Homosexuality was illegal in majority of the United States with criminal punishments for being caught. In 2003, the Supreme Court of the United States, in the landmark case Texas v. Lawrence, decided that laws criminalizing homosexuality were unconstitutional.
Song lyrics are Little Do You Know by Alex and Sierra, you should give it a listen. Kinda perfect.
Also – I had originally had a plan for the parent of the patient who was shot, but I've changed my mind. So for now, that person is insignificant – if I change my mind on that storyline and decide to go down that path, I have another way to accomplish it. Sorry for those of you who were thinking it was someone important.
ALSO – the talk with Aria is coming – but other than that, would you guys like to see a little time jump so we can get moving? Or do we want more of Arizona's personal healing/her working to heal the relationship? Are there any things that have been mentioned that you want to see? Let me know!