CHAPTER 72

"Cooper? It's Jeff."

"Hey man, what's up? Everything ok? The last time you called me, Blaine was yacking up his guts after ingesting the entire tin of fudge your mom sent to Dalton at Christmas time."

Jeff laughed, remembering why he'd called Cooper back then. Caroline had sent a big container of cookies and fudge early, before break, for all of Jeff's friends. Blaine apparently didn't feel the urge to share the fudge and ate nearly every piece while studying one night for finals. It wasn't pretty. It also, apparently, wasn't the first time that had happened. Blaine had done the same at home once and he said his mom had a 'remedy' for it…in between ralphing up his guts, that is.

"He's good as far as I know…" he laughed. "I'm calling because I need some…um….legal advice…I think." Jeff said, uncertainty tainting his voice.

"Jeff, are you ok? I mean, is everything alright?" Coop asked, sounding a bit nervous.

"Huh? Oh, no, yeah…I'm ok. I'm fine, I just….I know you're at work and all that and I don't want to keep you. I was wondering if I could buy you lunch or dinner or something and we could talk about a few things? I'm willing to pay you for your time, of course-" he began.

"Jeffrey Sterling, if you were here, I'd smack you in the head, you ass. I'd no more charge you for legal advice than I would my own brother! Are you crazy?" he laughed.

"I want you to keep this between us, though, can you? I mean, if I pay you, it's client confidentiality, right?"

"Jeff, I'm a little nervous now….what's going on?"

"Nothing's wrong…I need to make something 'right' actually, and for that, I think I need a lawyer to draw up some papers for me. You willing?" Jeff asked, getting right to the point.

"If I'm able to help, you know I will. What are you doing tonight? We can meet up somewhere and you can tell me what's going on."

"I'm at work until 6…then I'm all yours. Just tell me when and where." Jeff said, relaxing a bit.

"Ok, how about that deli down from your place at 7?" Cooper suggested.

"I'll be there. Thanks Coop. I appreciate it." Jeff smiled. They both disconnected and Jeff felt like he was finally moving in the right direction. He'd get this part done, if Cooper could help him, and he'd feel 100% better about what the future could hold.

"I haven't even seen him, Kurt. He hasn't been here all week, I swear. Kailey said he emailed her Sunday night, said he had some family emergency and he wasn't sure when he'd be around, but he'd probably be out all this week. He hasn't been in and it's Thursday, so…I dunno. It's been nice, though, even if I have had to grade all my own papers. You know what's weird is that Tyler has been super talkative in class this week. I don't know if maybe he's intimidated by having two male adults in class or what, but he's been silent the whole time I've been here. Now that Eli's not here, he's answering every question, he's played a few solos…beautifully, I might add, and he's like a new kid." Blaine rambled on.

"Maybe he just doesn't like Eli?" Kurt suggested, thinking this was the most logical answer. Kurt could readily see why that might be the case.

"I suppose. They don't interact in class that I've seen…I mean, I haven't seen Eli be unkind to him or anything, but I haven't really been looking either. Anyway, how's the show coming along? Everything ready?"

"Oddly, yes. I have a few small things to accomplish this week, and I'm certain there will be massive amounts of little things that pop up at the very last minute…but for now, I'm comfortable with where things stand." Kurt smiled into the phone. "I'm so excited, but at the same time, I'm really nervous."

"I'd think that was pretty normal, Kurt. I mean, look at all you've done…what you've accomplished, and all in a matter of months since you started working with David. I'm so very proud of you." Blaine grinned.

"You know what….I'm kinda proud of me, too." Kurt laughed. "When I came here…when I moved to New York, I had no idea what I was going to do. I thought maybe I'd go back to school, maybe get a job. One thing's for sure, I didn't think, for one minute, I'd meet the man of my dreams and fall in love…" he trailed off, his breath hitching, remembering things they'd done since they met.

"Kurt…" Blaine said, awe in his voice. "I sure didn't think I'd find you, either, but I'm immeasurably happy that I did."

"I need you home, Blaine. I know it's only been four days, but…God, I miss you so much already." Kurt whined. "Come home this weekend, please?"

"But I have class Saturday afternoon…didn't last week, so I have this week, not next week, etc?" Blaine reminded him.

"I can't wait until next Saturday to see you."

"I'll see you Thursday night, Kurt. Did you think I'd miss your show!? I took off Friday. I told her that when I took the job, that I'd need that Friday off."

"But…when you took the job we weren't even speaking…." Kurt said quietly.

"And even if you were still not speaking to me, I'd be trying to win you back and I'd still be there. I wouldn't miss it, Kurt, not for the world."

Kurt's voice broke then, a sob hitching out with his laugh. "You're ridiculous, you know it?"

"I'm ridiculously in love with you, Kurt." Blaine said, huffing out a sigh. "I thought I made that clear already?" he grinned.

"Ok, so…Thursday, then?"

"Thursday. As soon as classes let out, I'll grab my bags and be home. After that it's only two more weeks. We can do this, right?"

"Right…" Kurt trailed off, staring at a picture of the two of them on his end table next to the chair he was curled up in. "I still miss you." He laughed.

"I miss you, too. I hate waking up alone. I roll over every morning hoping that when I open my eyes you'll be there."

"Same. Blaine….." Kurt said, hesitating.

"Mmm?"

"This…this musical rooms thing. I don't…I mean, I know I said I'd trust you on this, and I will. I do! But…I was…I was wondering. Would you consider maybe…I mean, since you're already um….it's just…" he stumbled over his words, afraid of what he was going to say….more afraid of what Blaine would say.

"Kurt? What is it?"

"Would you just be here…with me? Would you maybe stay with me…I mean, all the time?"

Blaine sat on his bed, dumbfounded, his grin splitting his face and his eyes misted over. Was Kurt asking him to move in with him? Could this be any better? In a few weeks he was hoping to have that conversation with Kurt anyway, and if they got that part out of the way now….well, this was just working out so much better than he'd thought it might.

"Kurt, are you saying you…do you want me to move in with you?" he asked, just to be sure.

"That's exactly what I'm saying. I know your place is bigger than mine, and I know we'll have to kind of move things around to make the instruments fit and the sewing room work and everything…but…I'll make it work. I'll move it all to the loft if I have to. That sounds so desperate. But before you answer, I want you to know this. I'm asking you because I want you here. I love going to sleep in your arms and waking up next to you. I love sharing my sink with you and having your toothbrush next to mine in the little holder. I love looking in the fridge and finding your coffee creamer there. So many reasons I want you to consider this, and one of them is NOT because I'm afraid to be alone here now. That's not it, Blaine, so please don't even think that. I just…I just want to be with you."

Blaine was trying so hard not to cry or laugh or shout. There were so many emotions running through him at that moment that he was afraid to say anything at all. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, knowing exactly what his answer was.

"Kurt, I'd be honored to move in with you, and I promise, we'll make the space, or lack of it, work out for us, ok? Trust me…I think we can find a way." He smiled.

"Really?!" Kurt said, overly excited now.

"Really. I'm looking very forward to living with you every day…more than you know." Blaine smiled.

From Kurt: I need your help with something.

From Jeff: 'Sup, Bestie? *grins*

From Kurt: I…need your…uhhh…advice on something?

From Jeff: Shoot...how can I help?

From Kurt: I'm not typing this out. I'd die a slow death if anyone else saw it. When are you free? Can we meet up?

From Jeff: Kurt, I'm in the next damn room. And I'm always free if you need me.

From Kurt: Lunch?

From Jeff: Kurt? You're insane.

From Kurt: what do you-

"Ahhhh!" Kurt nearly jumped a foot when he looked up and Jeff was standing there in front of his desk in the loft. Kurt had taken to working there more often, seeing as his apartment was so quiet these days. 'Quiet' left a lot of room for memories to seep in, and he didn't have time to deal with that right now.

"You wanted to talk? Let's go grab some lunch, shall we?" Jeff offered.

"Yeah…ok, yeah."

They left the loft, promising to pick something up for David, who was on the phone making crazy hand gestures at them to indicate what he wanted before giving up and writing it on a piece of paper, holding it up and pointing at it. Kurt did everything he could not to laugh. Jeff didn't bother and laughed out loud.

"That man and his pastrami…does he ever eat anything else?" Jeff laughed.

"I got egg salad for him once, I think?" Kurt grinned back, but kept his eyes down on the sidewalk.

They stepped inside the greasy spoon across the street and sat down, the table still dirty and the tip still sitting there.

"I think if someone else sits down before the table is cleaned and the tip is still there, it should belong to the new occupant of the table. C'mon, it's well after lunch time and they're not even busy, yet every table is either dirty or occupied. What gives?" Jeff complained.

"Don't touch the money, Jeff. Restrain yourself. Will that $2.25 be worth knowing they'll probably spit in your food forever if someone catches you?" Kurt reminded him. Jeff looked forlorn. "Besides, you're knee deep in love with one of the richest men in New York City, Jeff. Surely you don't need the money."

Jeff visibly tensed and Kurt rethought his words quickly, backtracking in his mind. In the end, he could think of nothing to say before Jeff spoke first.

"People think that, don't they? They think I'm only around for his money, right?" Jeff said, so low Kurt could barely hear him. He looked distraught.

"It was a goofy comment, Jeff. Surely you don't think I truly think that?" Kurt asked, feeling like shit now.

"I know you don't. But people who don't know me…."

"Who gives a shit about the people who don't know you? If they don't even KNOW you, their opinion isn't valid anyway." Kurt said, trying to save Jeff's mood. "Don't give people like that the time of day, Jeff. It's clear that you love Nick…not Nick's bank account. Although, I'm pretty sure he'd sign the whole damn thing over to you if you asked." Kurt smiled. "I mean, you're getting Buckingham Palace for your birthday, for crying out loud."

Jeff laughed at that and rolled his eyes. The harried waitress finally showed up and looked like she'd been out running a marathon. Her hair was a wreck and her apron was askew, but she was polite and friendly, so Jeff left her tip alone.

"Boys, what can I do ya for?" she said, chomping on her gum and putting the dirty plates on a tray while she talked. They ordered quickly while she finished clearing the table, and when she walked away, Jeff asked Kurt what was going on.

"Ok, so spill it. What could you possibly want to talk about that would make you curl up and die if anyone else saw?" Jeff said.

"Um…" Kurt managed to get out, glancing around to make sure nobody could hear him. He whispered anyway, noting that the next person was 3 booths away. "Have you um…do you…if you're…I mean, not if, but when, because clearly…that sounds bad…I meant to say…" he blundered through his words.

"Kurt, what's up? Just spit it out, dude. Unless you're a swal-"

"DON'T even finish that sentence, Jeffrey!" Kurt said a bit too loudly. He let his face drop into his hands and sighed. "I should have just texted you. I can't look at you and have this conversation. I just can't." He said, rolling his head on his shoulders tiredly. If they hadn't already ordered Jeff was sure Kurt would have gotten up to leave. He was a nervous wreck.

"Kurt, man, ok, all joking aside, what's going on? I won't say anything weird, just tell me."

The poor man took a deep breath, dropped his head down onto his crossed arms that rested on the table and muttered out "I don't think Blaine's happy with our sex life."

"Surely you're insane. Are you smokin' the wacky tabacky or what, Kurt? That man adores you, and even if you told him you never wanted sex, he'd be by your side until the end. What's this about?" Jeff asked bluntly. "Wait, you are having sex, right? You didn't really tell him you didn't want to, did you?"

"NO! I mean, yes…yeah, we …we are but…I'm not." Kurt mumbled into his arms.

"Oh, well, thankfully that's all cleared up now. I feel 100% better knowing you aren't having sex when you are but you're not. Wow, problem solved, there." Jeff said, his sarcasm thicker than the lemon pie in the fridge at the counter.

"Sex with Blaine is…Jesus. It's a higher level kind of thing. I can't describe it other than to say never in my wildest dreams did I think…." Kurt broke off, shaking his head, lost in thought again.

"Sooo, what's the problem? How can you say 'you are, but you're not'? I don't understand. If he's head and shoulders above the rest, that's a good thing, right?"

"There isn't a 'rest' for me….." Kurt mumbled. "He's it."

"Wait….huh?" Jeff said, confused, until it hit him. "OH….ohhhh…wow. Ok, I had no idea…um." He spluttered.

"Yeah….but I can't begin to imagine it could get better….that there could be 'more' or anything, really…he's uh…he's very adept at um…." Kurt trailed off, blushing furiously.

"Sooo…you are having sex, but you're not? I'm not following you, Kurt. Help a guy out?"

"Teach me how to bottom?" Kurt finally blurted out, the look on his face so intense now that Jeff was momentarily struck dumb. Eyes wide, Jeff opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again. Then he just looked confused.

"Kurt…I…I'm not sure we should…I mean, I'm flattered that um….you want to…do that….with me….but um….Nick wouldn't-" Jeff tried to say, falling over every word, his face a study in confusion and concern, not to mention panic.

"What? Oh my GOD, Jeff, that's not what I meant! Oh shit…never mind. I can't do this." Kurt huffed out with tears in his eyes. "Just bring my lunch back with you, please?" Kurt said, tossing money onto the table and darting out before Jeff could even get another word out.

Nick stood in the entry of the fourth condo in three days with Cooper Anderson. Cris had narrowed it down to four properties and the three they'd seen before were vetoed when she saw the space on Coopers iPad. They decided to face time, and Cooper walked the condos one by one, showing her where things were, where the sun rose and set, and how the space was laid out. She wasn't impressed. This was the last one.

"So wait, where's the living room in relation to the kitchen? I don't see a wall or anything…" she trailed off, her eyes squinted as she watched her screen. Cooper moved the iPad showing her where things were one more time.

"Here's the kitchen, mom, and if you're standing at the sink or the stove, you can see into the living area. It has a gas fireplace, too. It's pretty nice, can you see it? That's not something you're going to find too often. And the view from this one is….mom, it's kind of outstanding. You can see Central Park, and there's only one building that stands in the way. I think you're only like three blocks from it, and you said you wanted to start walking more when you got here."

"Ohh! And I can take the grandkids to the park!" she cooed.

"You don't have-"

"Oh, but I will, soon, won't I?" she asked slyly, raising her eyebrows at him. Nick snickered. Coop shot him a look.

"We'll discuss that later…."

"Yay! I knew it!" she cheered. It was then that Cooper caught her looking away from the screen and smiling at something…which turned into a 'someone'. "Oh, Bill, look! Cooper is at the property now, and I think I really like this one!" she said excitedly.

"Bill?" Cooper mouthed to Nick, who merely shrugged, unsure why that was a thing at all. Was Bill Cooper and Blaine's dad?

"Mom…I'm sure Nick has other things-" Coop began.

"Oh no, take your time, please. It's a big decision for sure. I don't want you to rush." Nick said, quickly.

"Nicholas, I think I may like that one. I'll make arrangements to be up next weekend, if your schedule allows for time with me to show it again?" Cris asked.

"Anytime, you just tell me when you get here and we'll make it happen. I can't promise you, though, that it'll still be here. Not that I'm trying to hard sell you, but the fact is that it could be bought by someone this afternoon and I have no control over that, unfortunately." Nick told her. "But we'll keep our fingers crossed. I'll check the comps in the area, see if the price is fair, and tell them we're interested."

"Wonderful! Ok, Cooper, thank you for doing this for me. I'll be up next weekend. Can I stay with you or do you have big plans?" she asked, a twinkle in her eye. Cooper smirked.

"If you're asking if I might spend time with Maggie, the answer is yes, mother. I'm a grown man and I'll sleep with the woman I love if I want to." He said, rolling his eyes.

"I've no doubt you'll sleep with-"

"Motherrrr!" Cooper growled, grinning.

"Bide your time, young man. Don't give her a reason to resent you and question things before you make it right." She said, haughty now.

"I wouldn't dream of it."

From Jeff: What's wrong with Kurt? He's avoiding me.

From Blaine: I dunno, he hasn't said anything. Did you do something dumb?

From Jeff: Oh thanks for that, really?! No I didn't do something dumb. He wanted to talk at lunch and then he wigged out and bolted. It was bizarre.

From Blaine: Was he ok?

From Jeff: Yeah, but…well, I can't talk to you about it or he'll kick my ass, and I know he can, now, too.

From Blaine: Jeff, what the hell? What's going on? Is he alright or not? Why would he run out on you? Never mind, I'm just calling him.

From Jeff: NO! Don't, dude! Then he'll know I said something and he'll be mad. Just let me handle it. I'm sorry I said anything. Geeez.

From Blaine: Jeff, whatever it is, be there for him, please? Make it right? If I can't be there when / if he needs someone, I'm counting on you.

From Jeff: Fine, I'll go over after work and demand that he let me in and finish our conversation. Right after I meet with Cooper.

From Blaine: Thanks Jeffie. Wait, meet with Cooper?

From Blaine: Jeff?

From Blaine: What are you meeting with Cooper for? Like…because you WANT to?

From Blaine: DUDE?

"So you can do it? I mean, it has to be legal and binding. I don't want there to be any loopholes or anything like that, ok?" Jeff asked.

"Jeff, it's what I do. I'm fairly certain that's why you called ME to begin with, yeah?" Coop teased him.

"Yeah, ok. It's just…this is really important to me…and for our future. It can't get messed up. I get one shot at it…"

"What you want is pretty basic and easy to do. I'll draw all the papers up and all you have to do is get them signed. Sound good?" Cooper asked, watching Jeff nod, but not raise his head. "Hey, kid, look up here." He said, and Jeff reluctantly did so. "For what it's worth, I think you're doing the right thing, and I'm pretty damn proud of you. If you weren't as tall as I am, I'd reach over there and ruffle your hair or something." He laughed. Jeff just grinned. "I'm really proud of you. This is huge, Jeff. HUGE."

"He's going to be so mad, though." Jeff said, dejected.

"I think he'll come around, eventually. He'll understand."

"And if he doesn't?" Jeff asked, uncertain.

"I can't say. That's your call, man. And it's a big call. Think about it before this becomes a thing. Know what you're going to do in any instance and be ready for it. He might freak out."

"Yeah…he'll freak out, alright. That's a given." Jeff sighed.

"You the new guy?" said a voice over Trent's shoulder. He glanced back and smiled at the woman approaching him. She was a tall, thin woman with wire rimmed glasses and a long flowing skirt to match her long, crazy-curly hair, which wasn't tamed at all. The skirt and the hair were both fire engine red.

"I am, I'm Trent." He said, as she reached her hand out. He held his straight up at his sides and grimaced. "Rubber cement…sorry." He laughed. She grinned back as well, noting the mess all over the work space he was using.

"Good to meet you, Trent. Well, I see he has you working on matting already, which is good." She said walking with purpose to a table across the room from where Trent was working. "It's thrilling to see someone else come in who knows how to do it." She said, pointing over to a table with a large blade, some thick matting and a few pieces of art work. "I'm a stickler for perfection, though…perfect corners, perfect bevels…every time. Don't forget it! These people are counting on us to make their work look even better."

"Oh, no, I was just-"

"It gets old being the only one here who knows how to do something right. I get tired of doing it, I'm glad you seem to know what you're doing." She said, looking over the work on the table. "New artist, I guess? I don't recognize the work, but…." She paused, flipping through the canvases on the table and giving them a critical eye. "She or he apparently has a clue. Nice use of color on this one, and the brushstrokes here…genius. If they washed out, it wouldn't have nearly the impact. Damn…" she mused, sorting through the work on the table. Trent went back to what he'd been working on across the room, listening to her go on about the artwork sitting there to be matted and maybe, eventually, framed for hanging some day. "I hate it when he picks up new artists and I'm not here. I always like to meet whoever he's showing for the month." She complained.

"Oh, it's not…I mean, I'm sure there's no—" Trent began again, but she cut him off just as quickly.

"This is cool…the way the fibers are woven through the paint…it looks like it's part of the canvas when it's…well, hell, maybe it is. I can't even tell here… where it begins and ends…and the stitching running through this…." She went on while Trent busied himself with cleaning up his work space and washing his hands. He'd seen them all. He knew which ones she was talking about and exactly what she meant when she critiqued them.

"Ok, well, just wanted to say hello and introduce myself. It was good to meet you, Trent." She said and turned to go.

"Oh, wait, I'm sorry, you didn't tell me your name!" he said, smiling as she turned and rolled her eyes at herself.

"I do that…sorry. I'm Mary Ellen Conway." She said, sticking her hand out to shake again. Trent was awestruck to find that one of his favorite artists was standing before him waiting to shake his hand. Waiting. To shake…oh! He reached out eagerly and pumped her hand for all he was worth.

"Oh….Oh my gosh, wait. No way!" he said excitedly. "You're Mary Ellen Conway!"

"I am, yes, it says so on my driver's license!" she laughed, glancing down at the hand he was still pumping up and down with vigor.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry!" Trent said quietly, when he realized he'd monopolized her hand. "Please forgive me, it's just that…wow, you're just…I've seen and admired your work so many times. I'd never dreamed to run into you, especially not somewhere I worked!" Trent said excitedly.

"And yet, here I am!" she joked back. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Trent, and I look forward to working with you!" she grinned, leaving the studio and a beaming Trent behind.

"You picked a fifth artist?" Marry Ellen said to Ted, who managed the studio downstairs.

"Nope, only four, as usual." He replied.

"Did they add pieces? I saw the ones upstairs." She started again.

"Nobody added anything. Walls are nearly full. No room for anything else, unless they come up with something small before the opening? What's upstairs?" Ted said, curious now.

"Dunno, bunch of canvases on the matting table and leaning up against it. Good stuff, too. How do you not know whose work is in your own studio, Ted?" she asked, confused.

"OH! Oh, ok, I'd forgotten. I gave Trent some work space upstairs for his days off….the space that redheaded goof used to rent out near the window?"

"Hey, watch it with the redhead comments!" she chided.

"Are you talking about the works with the threads, fabrics and fibers?" he asked, curious.

"Yes! Brilliant use of color and medium!" she sang out, praising the pieces she'd seen. Ted just smiled.

"And I suppose you met Trent while you were up there?"

"I did. He's a charming boy with an amazingly strong grip." She laughed.

"Well, then you can go right on back up and tell him what you think of all the work on the matting table. It's all his." Ted smiled, seeing Mary Ellen's face light up.

Jeff knocked on Kurt's door a second time and waited, hearing nothing. When he called and heard Kurt's phone ring inside he knocked again and then texted him.

From Jeff: Dude, I know you're in there. Answer the damn door!

From Jeff Don't make me go get Sebastian to let me in!

From Kurt: Go away. I've embarrassed myself enough for one day, haven't I?

From Jeff: Dude, there's no reason to be upset. Just talk to me! You wouldn't even open your door to get your lunch today, Kurt. What gives?

From Kurt: I don't wanna talk about it.

From Jeff: Fine, I'm getting Seb.

Jeff walked away from the door, fully intending to get Sebastian and use his key when Kurt finally whipped his door open.

"Jeff…really, I'm fine, I just want to relax. It was a long day." Kurt said.

"It was a long day because you were stressed out, man! Tell me what's going on, would you?"

Kurt sighed and stepped back from the door, waving his arm in. They sat on the sofa and Kurt pulled his knees up to his chest. This is probably how he was sitting when Jeff was knocking, he thought.

"Ok, so spill it. What's wrong with your sex life, Kurt? How can I help besides sleeping with you to teach you how to bottom?" Jeff said, his face super serious.

"Geez, Jeff. I wasn't asking you to sleep with me, for Christ's sake!" Kurt nearly yelled, before thinking better of it and realizing that he didn't know if Sebastian was home or not.

"Then what were you asking, because I gotta tell ya, man, I was really confused. Can you just tell me, outright, because I want to help you. I do, but I'm ….I'm not sure how." Jeff pleaded.

Kurt took a deep breath and sighed long and loud before beginning.

"Listen, Jeff…Blaine was my first. The whole reason…." He began, but stopped, pinching the bridge of his nose. "God this isn't what I wanted to do tonight." Kurt mumbled, getting more and more tense. Jeff sat, silently, waiting for him to continue. "When Jackson and I dated, back home, he wanted to be physical…and I mean 'physical' and not intimate. I don't think he had it in him to be intimate. He wanted sex, plain and simple, and there'd have been no 'making love' to speak of. I wasn't ready…he'd have been my first. I was waiting for the right guy, and he was showing me more and more every day why he wasn't that guy. When I outright refused, he got angry, things went South and I pulled away….which made him even more angry…violent…physical. I had to get restraining orders, and all that. But, as you know, in the end, he took what he wanted anyway…violently raped me and left ….damage….both mental and physical. The mental aspects will never be completely gone, although I'm in such a better place now than I was when I moved here…." He continued.

Jeff reached out for his hand and gripped it tightly with a small grin, knowing he was somewhat instrumental in helping Kurt with feeling stronger and more confident. He was proud of how far his friend had come.

"Anyway…physically….it took…awhile…to heal…there. He was brutal, Jeff, and…and the damage…." Kurt tried to say, but he was shaking now and getting more upset. "I don't know if I can get past that. The memories that flood me every time I think of letting Blaine…of asking him to…to be inside me…" Kurt went on, but he was clearly sobbing now and Jeff moved over to him, nearly on top of him, and hugged his friend tightly.

"Hey, ok, I get it now. Don't get upset. We can work through this…come up with a solution, make it better, Kurt, I promise." Jeff said, leaning his head over to Kurt's and just holding his friend tightly.

"I think he wants that, though, Jeff. I think I should be able to give him that, and I don't want him to think there's something lacking in our sex lives because I'm still that broken boy who ran away from Ohio."

"Ok, wait, no, we're not doing this. We're not falling into that pit of despair, no way, no how, Kurt. Back the freakin' truck up, here, because there is nothing….nothing you could say or do to make me think that Blaine thinks less of you or what you two have just because you're not comfortable bottoming. Nope…not having it. If you never, ever wanted that, Blaine would be ok with it, and this I promise you. I know him, I know what he's made of and how he thinks, probably better than just about anyone. Remember when all the shit went down next door and you were so sure of what was going on there-" Jeff began.

"And you stood behind him every step…you told me that didn't sound like him, and that it wasn't something he'd ever do no matter how angry he was. You said you wouldn't believe it until you talked to him. You knew." Kurt smiled with a chuckle through his tears.

"I know him, and he will be as patient with you as you ever need him to be, and if it's something that never happens, then it never happens. Don't underestimate him, Kurt. But that being said…" he paused. "God, this is so uncomfortable…" Jeff said, running his fingers over the back of his neck and glancing around, eyes blinking. "That being said, give him the chance to show you how gentle he can be, because…" he coughed. "He…he um….He'll never force you and he'll respect any boundaries you lay out, ok? But I think you owe it to yourself to try with him. I know a lot of guys see bottoming as being the weaker position, but shit, Kurt…there's nothing like it, and if that makes me weaker, then I'm all for it. There's infinite pleasure there that you owe it to yourself to find….and let him give you. I think this is something you need to at least consider."

Kurt sat quietly listening intently to Jeff's impassioned speech and taking in every word. And he was right…Kurt knew it. He needed to dig deep within himself and find a way to break through the wall that was there. He owed it to himself and to Blaine. If they were going to make it, he had to trust him implicitly….and, he realized…he already did.

They talked for a bit longer and when Jeff left, Kurt felt immeasurably better. He hugged his friend at the door, maybe held on a minute longer than he would have normally, but….things were different now. He watched him walk down the hallway to his door, then smile and go inside. Kurt closed his own door and picked up his phone to call Blaine.

"Hi, Baby, I was just thinking about you." Came Blaine's answer. Kurt could tell he was smiling and he smiled back, a smirk on his own face.

"Hi.." he breathed out. "I need to ask you something." He said without warning or pause.

"Anything, you know that. Shoot!" Blaine said enthusiastically.

"How long were you and Jeff lovers?" Kurt said, and he was met with a sharp intake of breath, then deafening, utter silence.

A/N Well...ok, so that happened. I have the next chapter written, but it's nowhere near ready to post. I have to have C go over it, pick it apart and tell me where I'm long winded, because let's face it, I'm freakin' long winded sometimes. Thankfully, I have the best readers who never call me out on it and tell me to shut up :D

End of the school year, and with three kids, that means there's a LOT going on...exams, field trips, books to be turned in, etc. Busy, busy, busy! The quilts are done, though, so that's a good thing! Here's wishing you all a great start to your summer!

As always, thanks to Christine for spying each and every little thing that might throw something off. I don't know what I'd do without her! Love you, f-ing wifey!

For any of you Kurtbastian fans (GASP...I know you're out there...) check out fbeauchamphartz on . She has a bunch of Kurtbastian one shots that are both amazing and addictive as well as other stories you might enjoy! What are you guys reading?