DAY TWO – RENO
Emily awakens with a start but it only takes a moment to orient herself. Hotel room. Reno. Trip home.
Paige.
She flops onto her stomach and looks to the other bed in the room. Paige is wide awake staring at the white light glowing from her laptop. She bites her lip in concentration before typing a few keystrokes then biting her thumbnail. The light is too bright for Emily to focus properly but she does notice one surprising thing about Paige as she works on her computer.
"Hey," Emily croaks. Paige glances over and offers her a small smile. "Good morning."
"When did you get glasses?" Emily asks, not really caring about the answer, just asking the question to distract herself from what those glasses do to Paige's profile. The dark frames and rectangular lenses give her an authoritative air and a nerdy librarian hotness that sets Emily's heart racing.
Paige looks over and takes off her glasses so she can rub at her eyes and the bridge of her nose. "I think – about a year ago? Eye strain from staring at a screen all day. Sometimes I change the color of my background and it helps a little but the glasses are just a precaution, at least for now. I'm sure my eyes will only get worse," she says with a crooked smile. "I'm falling apart, Emily."
Emily just shakes her head and sits up to stretch. Paige notices this but her eyes quickly dart away willing her mind not to go there. Standing up for another stretch Emily glances at the digital clock on the nightstand between their beds. "What the hell - it's 5 a.m. I mean, really, what the hell?" Emily is pissed but still isn't awake enough to be truly angry. Her head is fuzzy and she would kill for some Starbucks.
"We're gonna lose an hour today," Paige says. "We'll hit Mountain Time at some point so I figured we can try to get that hour back if we get going early. And I was thinking of going for a ride to get some of the kinks worked out before we go. Did you want to come?"
"Is there coffee involved in this plan?" Emily asks, crossing the room to draw back the blinds on the room windows. The sun is getting ready to rise in the east and an orange and red blend is starting to replace the black night sky. It's gorgeous and Emily feels invigorated for the time being, at least until she can get some coffee.
"There can be, I guess." Paige answers. "You still drink that crap? I swear you could have sailed away on an ocean of it in high school – it's no wonder all you guys' nerves were shot."
Emily turns to Paige in surprise, complete with raised eyebrows and gaping jaw. "Wait – you know why we were stressed out during high school so that was a silly thing to say. Secondly – you referred to coffee as 'crap'. What the hell? I am waiting for an explanation, McCullers, because if I don't get one I am going to assume you are a pod person from another planet."
"That's the third time you've said 'What the hell' in the last five minutes, Fields," Paige retorts. She shakes her head and shuts the lid of her laptop as she rises and walks toward the bathroom. "Dibs on the little girl's room."
"So I don't get an explanation?"
"You should already know the answer to your question." The bathroom door clicks closed followed by the sound of shower spray on tile. Confusion clouds Emily's mind. Just what did Paige mean when she said she 'should already know'?
An hour later after a short walk down the street Emily holds her precious cup of Starbucks tightly in her hands making Paige snicker. "No one is going to steal it," she says. Emily shakes her head – "If everyone knew its healing powers they wouldn't let mere mortals like me drink it. It would be reserved for kings, queens and famous people who wear too much mascara." Emily glances at Paige who stares back with a very curious look on her face. "What?" Emily asks.
"You talk different now. You use odd words. Did you eat a dictionary or something?"
"Yes, I ate a dictionary. For the fiber content." Emily rolls her eyes and still coveting her coffee heads back to the elevator to get to their room. "Have fun on your little bike ride."
"You're not coming?" Paige seems almost disappointed but Emily ignores it and steps into the elevator. "Nope, gotta shower and get ready for day two!" She gives Paige a tiny wave as the elevator doors slide shut leaving Paige standing in the hotel lobby alone with her thoughts and a Ficus plant.
"Well that was rude – again."
As she rides up the elevator Emily knows it was rotten to bail on Paige and their ride. And when Paige first mentioned it she thought it sounded like fun. However, the more she tried to decipher Paige's 'should already know' statement the more confused she got. Obviously something happened that she forgot or didn't know. It was driving her crazy trying to remember – and if it was such a big deal why wasn't Paige just straight-forward with her? Why did she have to be so cryptic?
When she leaves the elevator and approaches their room Emily pulls out her key card and enters quietly. She tries to think. Maybe she can ask someone what Paige means. It's no big deal, she reminds herself, but just the same – this little detail seems important to Paige for some reason. She drops down onto her bed pulls out her cell phone thinking maybe she can call or text someone. That's stupid, Emily says to herself, just ask her.
Content with that decision Emily puts her feet up and drinks her coffee slowly.
Instead of a bike ride Paige elects to take a walk down a path running by the Truckee River that bisects Reno east to west. She notices a group with safety equipment covering them from head to toe prepping to raft down the river. Paige thinks it looks like a blast mentally making white-water rafting entry number 153 on her bucket list. She leans against the rail running along the walking path and the grind of the rapids overwhelms any other thoughts. She realizes she really misses the water, especially diving into a pool feeling like she was pulling herself into another world and blocking out all the drama in her stupid life. With a start she remembers Emily taught her that. Paige sighs at the thought of Emily budging into her thoughts again.
Paige always suspected she carried the emotional weight for their relationship. She didn't really blame Emily for withholding. The whole mess with Alison, Maya and –A built an almost insurmountable barrier between the world and Emily, Spencer, Aria and Hanna. Paige often thought she'd broken through that wall but as soon as she was confident their relationship was moving to the next level she'd realize Emily had engaged her "protective vibe". She lost count how many times Emily would apologize for her selective use of the full truth, all in the name of "protecting" Paige.
If she was honest Paige knew she did the same thing a few times – but not on the predictable timer Emily did. In the end they both realized just how badly they'd been manipulated in the early stages of their relationship and cherished the absence of that emotional weight after –A was dealt with. It was almost like they had to start over and the more she thought about in over the years the more she realized maybe their relationship was good only when put under the white-hot pressure of the drama with –A. Once the drama was gone they had nothing else to hold them together. It made her feel like a failure.
She turns away from the railing and begins walking back to the hotel wondering where the person she worked so hard to become the last two years has gone, all in the matter of less than 24 hours. She wasn't the campus sweetheart at UC-SB but she had a wide, diverse circle of friends she was going to miss in the fall. But as soon as she's within 50 feet of Emily Fields she becomes a socially awkward high school freshman again trying so hard to understand her feelings around girls and find her place in the world. Heck, she is even walking down the street with her hands buried in her pockets and her shoulders clenched like she was desperate to stay invisible.
This is horse shit. I am not this person anymore, she mentally berates herself. And I refuse to go back there.
Feeling newly resolved, Paige straightens and walks quickly down the sidewalk.
As she approaches their hotel she sees Emily wheeling two suitcases toward the U-Haul managing an amazing balancing act with the suitcases and her precious cup of coffee. "You didn't have to do that, you know," Paige yells across the lot as she jogs toward her.
"Oh, I know. But that's okay; you need to be careful with your back." The hot tub did wonders for Paige the night before so she almost forgot about her back issues. She looks in the back of the truck and realizes Emily has brought all their cases from the room, including her laptop and backpack.
"Well, thanks," Paige says awkwardly. "Can I have the keys then? We can get going."
Emily slides the door of the U-Haul closed and wiggles the key ring in Paige's face. "No dice, kid. I am driving."
Paige pulls her eyebrows together and looks ready to battle but Emily sighs. "Would you quit being such a damn control freak and let me take control for a change? Let me take care of you for a change."
Emily realizes what she said just as Paige's eyes widen and her cheeks blush in surprise and discomfort. "Oh, you know what I mean. Or you don't. I don't particularly care right now, just get in and shut up," Emily says.
As she vaults in the driver side Emily sees Paige just standing behind the truck stupidly glaring at her in the mirror. She starts the engine figuring Paige might need an incentive to just go along with her wishes. The roar of the starter and a cloud of black exhaust makes Paige cough serving its purpose…she reluctantly moves to the passenger door and climbs into the truck cab.
"Salt Lake City or bust!" Emily exclaims happily, knowing her enthusiasm will piss Paige off. Glancing at her passenger, Emily sees her sour expression and smiles in triumph. Mission accomplished.