For Twistyrob, with her hand on her hip and tapping her foot...here's ch 81! LOL
Ch. 81
"You know we don't have to go, right? If you don't want to, we can stay home, Kurt."
"No, I want to go, I do. I just…I'm really excited about upstairs and I want to get our things up there as soon as possible. Can you blame me?" He asked, eyebrows raised and grinning from ear to ear. "Do you think we can manage that this weekend? Or maybe…tonight? Can we sleep in our new bed tonight? I haven't forgotten that you asked me to get the 'Nick bed' for upstairs, B." Kurt grinned, totally excited.
Blaine did a little internally flailing at the term 'our bed' before replying. "Nope, can't blame you at all, babe. It turned out much nicer than I'd ever hoped it could. I need to get a hold of Kyle and thank him properly. They did an outstanding job. And if you want to sleep up there tonight, we will. But you look sad, like you're not sure you want to go. Something wrong?" Blaine asked.
"I want to talk to you about something…maybe tonight. No, definitely tonight. And I know when we go out with them, we'll probably have some wine, get tipsy, maybe downright drunk, and I don't want you to think that when we get home, and I want to talk to you, that it's the alcohol speaking, because it's not. It's something I've wanted to bring up for a while now, but with you not home, it didn't seem to be the right time. It's…it's important to me, Blaine." Kurt said, and the seriousness of his statement wasn't missed by Blaine.
"Ok…" Blaine said, unsure of what they were talking about now. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it now? Seriously, Kurt, if it's important, we can…ok? I don't want you upset through dinner or anything. Have I done something? I thought…I thought you were happy…with everything. With us, you know? Are we ok?"
"Oh, honey…Blaine, we're fine. Please don't worry." Kurt said, getting up to approach Blaine and weave his arms around his lover. "It's important, yes, but it's…well, I hope it's nothing bad. I guess it could turn out badly…I hope not. Oh God…I didn't think…." Kurt trailed off. Blaine blanched, unsure what was going through Kurt's head, and truthfully, a little worried.
"Can you just tell me now? Will it ruin dinner?"
"No…oh…no, I can't…no. If I talk to you about it now and THEN have to sit through dinner as if we haven't already discussed…..oh no. Please don't be uptight. It's not a bad thing, I don't think. We'll be fine. I just want you to know that I'm saying it because I want to say it…not because of alcohol or anything." Kurt grinned.
"How will I know? What if you're talking about it and I don't know if that's what you wanted to talk about or if you're babbling on about something else to pull the wool over my eyes?" Blaine teased.
"Ok, how about this? I'll write down on a piece of paper what I want to talk to you about. I'll keep it in my pocket until we get home, and if you don't believe me, then I'll show you the paper?" Kurt suggested. Blaine laughed at the idea, but then agreed. As Kurt wrote on the yellow, lined paper, Blaine was sure he saw a blush, too.
"I can agree to that, but I want to keep it in my pocket instead." Blaine laughed. "I don't want you to have 3 or 4 different papers in there in case you chicken out!"
"So the old saying is true, it's not what you know, it's who you know!" Nick laughed.
"Maybe…" Blaine preened.
"Maybe, my ass!" Jeff threw in. "You can't get in this place without calling months in advance, and we stroll up to the hostess stand and get a seat in a heartbeat. Somebody's important!"
"Yes, well, tonight that somebody is you, birthday boy, so shut your pie hole and sit down." Kurt teased Jeff.
"Yes sir!" Jeff rolled his eyes. "Bossy pants…."
"Blaine! And you have brought Kurt with you and…JEFFREY!" Aria laughed, hauling him up from his chair. "It has been too many years!" She beamed, her accent flowing out like poetry. "And who is our new friend?" She asked, pointedly staring at Nick.
"Ari…" Blaine stood to hug her and gave her a huge smile as well, then Kurt did the same. He introduced Nick, then told her they were there for Jeff's birthday, and she was delighted, moving around the table to haul Nick into a huge hug. For such a little thing she was awfully strong.
"Ahhh, Zane told me we had a birthday coming this evening, but he did not tell me it was you, Jeffrey! I suppose I should have known, considering." She laughed.
"Considering?" Jeff questioned.
"Ahhh, but you will see." She winked. Jeff hung his head. This surely didn't seem like the type of place they'd throw a sombrero on his head and sing…and for that he was eternally grateful.
They ordered dinner and wine and talked about everything in their lives. Blaine felt as if he'd been gone for years instead of weeks. Kurt gushed about the apartment and couldn't stop smiling at Blaine. He thanked Nick and Jeff for all of their help numerous times, and then invited them to help move their stuff over the weekend with a laugh.
"It's only fair…you helped me move stuff to Nick's place." Jeff admitted. "And this is just up a flight of stairs. Much easier. And the sooner you get out, the sooner Trent and Thad can move into your apartment." He smiled.
"They are?" Kurt asked, intrigued. "It's like everyone made plans around me!" He laughed.
"Yeah, they want a smaller place….and uh…you'll never guess who wants my place?" Blaine said, unsure how Kurt would feel about their new neighbors. Cooper had a bad habit of popping up, unwanted, in their space when he was around, deal made with Blaine or not.
"Oh Lord, I'm afraid to ask!"
"Uh, Coop wants to move in with Maggie and the kids, of course." Blaine grinned.
"Oh…oh my goodness…well, I suppose we can get another lock on the door, right?" Kurt laughed. "No, in all seriousness, it'll be great to have them close by! I'll enjoy having the kids around." He said, doing a little happy dance in his seat.
Zane approached the table with a smile for everyone, slapping the guys on the back and catching up. He gave Blaine a hard time about having been at Coop's wedding when he wasn't. Blaine just shrugged it off and told him he should know better than to go out of town when Cooper might throw an impromptu wedding in Atlantic City.
"I was totally bummed, man!" Zane told them. "Here I was in Las Vegas at a restaurant owners convention, and my best friend calls me to say 'Come to Atlantic City, I'm getting married…but you have to be here before 5!' he says! There was no way for me to be there. I still think they should throw a party to celebrate…a reception, if you will, now that they're home!"
"I agree, I'm down for a party!" Jeff chimed in.
"Of course you are…" they all groaned, laughing.
"What?! I'm just sayin'!" Jeff grinned. When he turned to talk to Zane again, the other boys all smiled their knowing grins.
"So, would anyone like dessert?" Zane finally asked. He motioned for a waitress to bring them the dessert tray and Jeff began clearing a spot for the whole thing.
"Just set it here and give me a fork!" He laughed. But when he caught sight of the tray, his expression showed his disappointment.
"Problems, Jeffrey?" Zane teased.
"Seriously, man?" Jeff said, giving him a "bitch, please…" look as his mood deflated.
"Oh….oh, how silly of me!" Zane snickered, signaling to the girl behind Jeff. She set the dessert in front of him and Jeff's eyes went wide.
"Ok, nobody look, I don't want you to see me crying tears of absolute joy- you jerks." Jeff said, then dug into his crème brulee and nearly slipped from his chair. The moan that left his lips was pornographic and he now had Nick's undivided attention. "Zane, you haven't lost your touch, old man….this is absolute perfection, as always." He said, sticking his spoon in for another bite, groaning and moaning with every swallow. Nick was captivated, mouth agape and a sheen of sweat beginning to show at his hairline. Without taking his eyes from Jeff, he turned his head toward Zane and said low and breathy "Well take a dozen to go, please….."
Blaine snickered and Kurt hid a smile behind his hand. Jeff made eye contact with Nick and gave him a mischievous grin and a wink. When Nick's head snapped up at attention seconds later, eyes on Jeff and a breath huffing out, neither Kurt nor Blaine noticed, but Zane did. He only had to see Nick's eyes flutter momentarily, combined with a slight fidget to know what Jeff was doing, and right then, he was probably thanking Zane for going with the long table cloths.
Nick inhaled sharply as Kurt, as oblivious as Blaine was to the happenings in front of them, continued with the conversation.
"Ok, there's a story here. Spill it." Kurt finally piped up.
"Oh, the story…." Blaine laughed.
"You tell, B….eating…." Jeff said around another bite, fellating his spoon as he locked eyes with Nick for good measure.
"Jeffie…." Nick groaned out, soft and low, then dropped his head to rest it on his fist, elbow resting on the table. Everyone, of course, assumed it was because of Jeff's verbal appreciation of the dessert.
"Ok, well, first, does anyone else want one before—"
"YES!" was the answer all around.
"Ok," Blaine began, "so when Coop and Zane graduated, they both got shitty jobs and hung around the house all summer. Zane was sure opening a restaurant was in his future, and Ari was totally on board, so he began messing with recipes. Dessert day was our favorite because he used me and Jeff for guinea pigs!" Blaine laughed. "So one day he's making crème brulee, and he's futzing with it all damn day and then he's like…try this!" Jeff snuck down in the middle of the night and ate so much of it he made himself sick. Now usually, when that happens, the person isn't able to eat that particular thing anymore, at least for a while, but not our Jeff. Nope. As soon as he was able to eat again, he wanted more, but Zane flat out refused. After having to hear Jeff whining in agony about his stomach for days, nobody wanted to revisit it. So Jeff searched all over Westerville and everywhere around it for a crème brulee as good as Zane's."
"Nevu found un dis gud evvver…" Jeff mumbled around another mouthful. "More?" he said, his eyes turned beseechingly toward Zane, who just laughed and grabbed him a second helping.
"Manners, Jeffrey!" Kurt scolded him playfully with another gulp of his wine.
"So good…" Blaine said, dipping his spoon in again, tapping on the crunchy top.
"I wasn't joking, Zane. Do you have any we can take home?" Nick asked with a wicked smile. "I think we might just have to have some later, as well." He asked, his voice hitting an unexpected high note at the end. Everyone at the table turned to look at him with questioning eyes and he bit his spoon harshly and forced a smile at them, clearing his throat.
Jeff's eyes met his across the table and between the two of them, the sexual tension was as thick as peanut butter in the air. Jeff licked his lips and winked at Nick, who had to take a deep breath to calm himself.
"I do…" Zane answered. "Blaine said you were coming, so I made plenty, and it's not on tonight's menu. Let me just grab 'em for you." Zane said, leaving the table with a dubious look at the blonde and his boyfriend.
After begging for a few songs from Blaine, Aria allowed him to leave the stage and they all headed home…Nick with a huge 'to go' bag and tipsy Kurt with blushing cheeks.
"So did you guys wanna hit a club or som-" Jeff began, but Nick shut him down immediately.
"As much as I'd like that, Jeff, I am MORE than certain you and I need to head home. Now." He said, eyes on Jeff.
"Um…ok, then…" Blaine said, trailing off, a sly glance at the two friends as Nick and Jeff slipped into the Town Car waiting for them. "We can grab a cab if you want?" Blaine said to Nick.
"No, totally fine, we're going right past your place…hop in." Nick said, and Kurt was sure he was gritting his teeth as he did. Something was up.
The drive home was stilted and quiet, Kurt snuggled into Blaine's side and Jeff fitted closely into Nick's.
"You're in so much trouble…" Blaine heard Nick whisper in Jeff's ear. The blonde's face split into a wide grin, but he wouldn't look up at his boyfriend. While they were otherwise occupied, Kurt leaned up and bit Blaine's earlobe, whispering "want you…" quietly as they rounded the corner to the apartment. It seemed it would be an interesting night for all of them.
The minute Kurt and Blaine were out of the car, Nick turned on him.
"What. The. HELL. I can't BELIEVE you did that, Jeff!" Nick bellowed. The driver took that opportunity to hit the button and close the partition between them. Nick was grateful. "THEN you have the nerve to suggest we go OUT? How in the hell do you expect me to go out and enjoy myself with this…this…ISSUE in my boxers, Jeff?" He bellowed, raising his hips and adjusting the pants around himself, wincing with the feel of what Jeff had caused in the restaurant.
"You looked bored…"
"BORED!? You were making love to a dessert, performing oral sex with your spoon and getting me off with your toes in my crotch under the table!" Nick boomed. "How, exactly, does that make me bored in any way, shape or form?"
"Loved watching you…" Jeff said, climbing up to straddle Nick's lap now. "I knew the minute you came…your eyes glazed over and then squeezed shut tight…your pretty pink lips parted and just barely fell open and you managed not to let your spoon clatter into the dish…but just barely…" He said, leaning in to place small kisses all over Nick's face.
"I nearly broke off a chunk of the table I was holding on to it so tightly!" Nick said, his voice a bit ragged now with Jeff in his lap.
"Was it so bad?" his Pretty Boy teased him, moving rhythmically in his lap now as he kissed and nipped at Nick's face and ear lobes. "I think Zane knew…" He snickered softly.
"N-Not…not b-bad…oh god…." Nick stuttered out, feeling Jeff's hands between them unbuttoning his pants. Jeff moved back far enough to slide Nick's pants and boxers down and shoved his own to the floor in a rush, climbing back up to Nick's lap to straddle him again.
"Already hard for me again, Nicky…." He smiled as he settled again in the brunette's lap, slipping down somewhat easily over his cock to settle and wait for Nick to beg. Watching his lover adjust to being inside him was always a pleasure. The expressions on his face, the little nuances that only Jeff would ever see, made him so hot he couldn't help but move.
Nick's eyes shot open at the ease with which he slid down over his length and he gave Jeff a questioning look. No lube, no stretching, how did he…
"Before we left home….and again in the bathroom at Aria's, just to be sure….want to always be ready to take you." Jeff teased, nipping again at Nick's collarbone. Nick groaned and bit his bottom lip to keep from shouting, then gripped Jeff's ass roughly with both hands.
"Bounce, baby….please…." Nick whispered in his ear, and Jeff was off.
After grabbing what they'd need for the night and the following morning, Kurt and Blaine made their way upstairs, turned on some lights and just took it all in again.
"I'm in love with our apartment." Kurt smiled, falling backwards onto the bed.
"I'm in love with you, and I'm so glad you love it." Blaine smiled back, watching him from the door of the bedroom.
"I'd like nothing more than to collapse over there with you, but you have some things you wanted to talk about, and if I lay down with you, we won't do much talking." Blaine said quietly.
"You're right…we won't."
"So…?"
"Um…ok….the thing is…." Kurt began, but his nerves came crashing in and he couldn't form a good thought. "Um…" He tried again.
"Kurt…it's ok. You know you can say anything at all to me, right?" Blaine told him, trying to be supportive.
"I know, but it's just…" He said, his face blushing again. Blaine noticed, and wondered what was with the blushing. Why would Kurt blush? What could possibly—
"OH! Um…Kurt, if this is about the batteries and the toys the other day….what you were saying on the phone…" Blaine began, but Kurt cut him off.
"Oh God…" He blushed again, hiding his face in the pillow he'd dragged down from the head of the bed. "Ok, it's not about those…about…um….but it sort of is….a little. Oh God, this is not how I wanted this to go."
"It doesn't have to be uncomfortable, Kurt. Remember what we did before? Hide your face in the pillow and talk…like I'm not even here, babe. Don't stress." Kurt grabbed the pillow and shoved his face into it. "Ok, now tell me what's up?" He said, sitting down next to Kurt at the end of the bed.
Kurt let out a huge sigh and shook his head, stalling. It's now or never, Kurt….
"I told Sebastian…um…" He began, a little off kilter.
"Oh sheezus, you told Sebastian what…I'm scared to know!" Blaine grinned.
"I lied. I told him I didn't have a toy drawer, and I don't, but I sort of lied, because…just because I didn't have a toy drawer doesn't mean I didn't have….um… Blaine, this is mortifying!" He whined, still hiding.
Blaine's smile grew as he watched Kurt struggle in embarrassment. He snickered and walked over to his blushing man, and he sat next to him, slipping his arm around Kurt's back, making him jump a little.
"Kurt….honey, it's only me. You can tell me anything, you know….say anything to me. I won't judge you." Blaine said calmly.
"When you left, I was so distraught, Blaine. You were gone and I was so sad…so alone. I felt like I'd run you off and I felt guilty…horrible for thinking the things I'd thought. We'd been doing so well, moving in the right direction and then it seemed like one night threw such a wrench into everything. I'd been trying… trying to…" Kurt trailed off. He moved the pillow from his face and turned away from Blaine, still unable to look him in the eye.
"Ok, here…can we do this? No, don't look like that…" Blaine laughed, unbuttoning Kurt's shirt slowly and slipping it from his shoulders, then slipping his under shirt off as well. "Get comfy, love. I'm giving you a back massage. You're as tense as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs, Kurt! Lay on your belly…c'mon. Don't make me tell you twice, brat." He grinned. Kurt gave up and complied, thinking this might work out better anyway. Blaine wasn't about to be the only one clothed, so when they were both down to boxer briefs, he made Kurt settle on his stomach on the bed and straddled his hips so he could rub Kurt's shoulders. They were bunched and tense and it worried Blaine. What in the world could have Kurt so uptight?
Kurt whined as Blaine's fingers dug into his upper body and Blaine had to fight the urge to rut against him. Maybe this wasn't the best idea after all. No…no Blaine, they needed to talk…calm down.
"Ok, baby, talk to me now?" Blaine urged.
"I'd been um….sort of working toward something….for us….and when you left I was almost there…just about to the point where I thought I could make a go of it…but then you were gone." Kurt said, forlorn, his voice so sad that Blaine paused.
"Kurt…is this something we can pick up now…move forward with it again if it's important to you?"
"Oh God, I hope so…" Kurt moaned as Blaine hit a spot that felt so, so good.
"Ok, so tell me more, then?"
"I um…months ago, I'd been running errands for the loft…for David, and I passed this place…a few times, actually, before I gathered up my wits and finally went inside. I bought something for us…for me…to um….."
"Baby, did you buy toys?" Blaine finally blurted out.
"ONE, Blaine…just one, because I wanted to have something to…to just….to practice…after everything with…with him, and…because you know how I feel about…that…and I didn't want to tell you because what if I failed and I couldn't stand it and I broke down or… oh my god how embarrassing would that be because let's face it I'm a grown man and I shouldn't have these issues talking about this kind of thing with the man I love who I hope to marry someday if he'll have me and I just went into a panic because I thought if you knew you might think I was trying to avoid you and just make do with—"
"KURT!" Blaine said again, certain Kurt hadn't heard him the first three times he said it. Kurt finally stopped spewing out words and faltered…his breathing labored now under Blaine's tender fingers. "Honey, if you bought that, it's totally ok. It's actually kind of hot, and I'm not upset in any way, ok?" He might have been doing another internal flail over the 'man I love who I hope to marry someday…' part as well.
"Are you sure? You're not just saying that because you don't want me to be upset?"
"WHY would I bet upset? My gorgeous boyfriend bought something for us to play with in the bedroom…what's to be upset over?" Blaine smiled. Kurt let out a long exhale and finally relaxed a bit.
"Ok…thank you." He said, but nothing more. If Blaine could have seen his face, he would have known that he was thinking hard…contemplating.
"Kurt…." Blaine whispered, "Where'd you put it that Seb didn't find it in the bedroom?" He grinned.
"Um….in the bathroom…in the bottom drawer under all of my hair products…." Kurt divulged.
"Is it still there?" Blaine asked. His heart was beating out of his chest now and he was nearly vibrating with simmering excitement. Kurt had toys….Kurt had used toys in their bed while he was gone….oh God…..
"Hmmmm…." Kurt moaned out when Blaine hit that spot again. "No, it's in my bag, next to the bed…" he snickered. "But…I don't want it. Not tonight, Blaine." He said, alert again, and rolling so that Blaine fell off of him to the side. Blaine was a little dismayed at that. Kurt made eye contact with Blaine and took a deep breath, steadying himself for what he was going to say.
"Kurt?"
It was a long time coming….He sat up on his knees, cradled Blaine's face in his hands and spoke in barely a whisper.
"I don't want that inside me Blaine…not tonight. I want you, baby. Just you. I want to feel you inside me." Kurt said, his cheeks a perfect shade of rose as he bit his lip and met eyes with his lover. "I want you to make love to me tonight, Blaine."
Cooper stared at the text message from Blaine and smiled. Kurt loved the apartment and wanted to get started moving everything out that weekend. Awesome! He hadn't run the idea past Maggie yet because he didn't want to get her hopes up, but now that Kurt loved the place and was eager to move into the new place, things were clicking, and it was time to bring it up.
After putting the kids to bed that night, he slid in next to Maggie who was reading a book in bed, as usual, and kissed her cheek.
"Regretting our impulses, yet?" He asked with a smirking grin.
"Not yet, but give me time…." She teased, not taking her eyes from the book.
"I need to run back to my place tomorrow and grab a few shirts…some stuff…." He said by way of introduction to the topic he was hoping to discuss.
"Ok, do you want me to come along? I'm sure there are other things you'd like to have here. We can make room…not a lot of room, but some." She chuckled.
"Um…if you want. About that…about having two places…yours and mine…." Coop trailed off, hoping to get her attention from the book. Now he had it. She turned and looked over the top of her glasses at him, questioning.
"Yessss…? I assume there's more to that sentence, right?" She asked.
"I…yeah. Yes, there is. I had this idea…and I thought I'd run it by you…see what you thought?"
"Okayyyy…." She said, waiting patiently for him to spit it out. "Cooper…unless you're suggesting you stay there and we stay here, I'm all ears. Spit it out, baby." She laughed.
"Well, I was just thinking…and I've already spoken to Blaine about it…and since he and Kurt are moving upstairs, and Trent and Thad are moving into Kurt's place….Blaine's place will be empty. It's three bedrooms, all remodeled and updated and I asked him and he's totally ok with it…if maybe we could move in there?" Coop rambled.
"Really? You'd be ok living that close to your brother? Or is this your sick, twisted way of peeking in on 'em and indulging your voyeuristic tendencies when it concerns your brother and his lover?" She asked with a straight face.
"I don't…I'm not…HEY!" He said, sitting up and flinging pillow at her face. She caught it before it could hit her and flung it back.
"Are you seriously even denying this?" Maggie asked, a brow arched.
"I can't help it, Kurt's ass is a thing of beauty…that can't be disputed. I'm intrigued!" He huffed. "Those two are so hot together, too….."
"He is eye candy, that's for sure, but Blaine's nothing to scoff at…I mean, his ass in the tight jeans he wears? Wow. When he first moved in here and I met him and didn't realize he was gay yet—"
"Do NOT finish that sentence, Margaret Anderson, or there will be consequences!" Cooper hissed, eyes wide. "My own brother? You wound me, miss…." He said, dramatically throwing his hand up over his chest as if he'd been hurt. "What does he have that I don't have?!" Coop whined.
"Well, according to Kurt, and oh boy, he would know, Blaine has a really big—"
"OH MY GOD, STOP!" Coop hissed again, hands over his ears. Maggie couldn't keep from laughing and barely managed not to burst out loudly enough to wake the kids.
"For someone who takes every opportunity he can get to take a peek on those two, you're surprisingly opposed to talking about your brother that way. I'm a little amused, to say the least." She laughed. Cooper pouted.
"I see how it is…you married me to be closer to my brother…I see it now…." He moaned, feigning misery.
"Uh huh, that's all it was, you doofus. I didn't even take into consideration how you make my heart flip and speed up and my breathing shallow and all the stars align when you look at me and smile. That never crossed my mind. I didn't think of how the kids adore your stupid face or how much I love just holding you and feeling safe. I don't bother with how much I love you and how much I know you love me…those things are unimportant in the big scheme of things. You're right, it was all Blaine. Yep." She said nonchalantly, grabbing her book back up and flipping to the next page with a little grin.
"I love you, too." Cooper smiled, nuzzling into her neck. "So much."
"I know you do, you goof."
"Which brings me to…." He said, rummaging around next to the bed. "I bought you something!" He said joyfully.
"You did? What is it?" Maggie asked, excited. "Show me!"
"Well, ok, now that I think about it, it's not really for you…it's for me…but…well, you'll see. Maggie, you know what my life was like before you. I'm not proud of it, and I don't ever, ever want to go back to that. There are a lot of things from my past-"
"Women." She added.
"Um…yeah, women…from my past…and like I said, those days are over…so….I bought this, and got a new number for it." He says, pulling a box with a new cell phone out of a bag on his lap. I want you to input the necessary numbers, leaving all the rest out, never to be dialed again. I don't want to contact those people or have them contact me. And I brought you this." He said, sheepishly offering up his little black book he'd kept for over a decade. "I don't consider this a wedding gift or anything, and I'd like to make plans for you and me to go shopping for that. You deserve something special, and I'd like to get you something you'll truly love…but…for now, this is something that's been important to me for a long time, but since it's not a part of my life anymore—"
"Oh shut up, you sap!" She said, tears in her eyes. She flung her arms around him and laughed. "My husband gave me his little black book….not many women can say that, huh?" She chuckled, her voice watery and her laugh like music to his ears.
"I dunno…I guess not." He said, ducking his head in bashfully.
"It's a beautiful sentiment, and I appreciate it more than you know. Thank you, Coop. I hope 'just me' is enough to satisfy you now."
"Mags….'just you' is so much more than anything that came before it. 'Just you' is enough, more than enough. It's all I'll ever need, love, believe me."
"Love you…."
"Love you more. So…is that a yes? You wanna check out B's apartment and maybe head across the street? The kids will have their own rooms, they won't have to change schools, we'll be with family, and the move will be easier than if we had to get a truck and all that. Whadda ya say, Mags?"
"I say let's check it out. I think it's a great idea, babe. It'll be our place…not yours, not mine, but ours. I love that idea."
"Yeah…me too." Coop smiled and kissed her softly on her lips, tugging her into his side and snuggling down for the night.
"And apparently that thing Kurt and I discussed runs in the family…" She whispered in Coop's ear. His answer was a growl as he flipped her onto her back and prepared to have his way with his wife.
"Kurt…." fell from his mouth, out of his chest, like a puff of smoke he'd been holding in for ages.
"If you want to, that is, I mean, I know I sort of sprung that on you…without much warning and all." Kurt said, his breathing a bit erratic because of his nerves. Blaine continued to stare at him, the thoughts and visions flying through is mind taking over his vocal chords and making him unable to speak coherently. "B-Blaine?"
"Yes….I….yes. Please. If you're sure…if you're certain this is what you want…when you want." Blaine finally managed to get out. "Yeah, I'm a little…surprised…to say the least. I'd sort of put that on the back burner as something we may never do, really." Blaine said softly, cupping Kurt's face.
"Never?"
"Well, honey…I mean, with what you've been through…with him…what he did. I can't imagine what it takes to come back from that…and I would never, ever push you to do it. I'm still a little terrified that the outcome of our attempts might hurt you…bring back memories and…." Blaine began, but he wasn't able to finish. He was scrambling to make sense and to find the words he needed. Kurt dropped his eyes to the bed. Apparently the words he was using weren't right.
"If you don't want to…if that freaks you out because of what he…because he was um….there…." Kurt choked out, his voice wrecked now.
"Oh God…honey, no! No….that's not what I'm saying at all. I'm…fuck…I'm not saying that, Kurt. I'm saying I'm terrified of hurting you. I'm scared to death of bringing back memories that have wounded you inside and….I don't want you to associate that with…with us…here. Ever. I'm sorry, I wasn't clear, I…Kurt, please don't cry. Baby…"
Kurt stood and paced the floor from the bed to the dresser once…twice…six times, head shaking as he nervously worked through his inner monologue and Blaine was unsure what he could or should say. Making love to Kurt was a terrifying thought for him…absolutely terrifying. The only man who'd ever been anywhere near that level of intimacy with Kurt had hurt him, nearly killed him, abused his body, his trust, his mind, and then came back to try to hurt him again. It was all too fresh in Blaine's mind and he knew it had to have been the same for Kurt….beautiful Kurt who was trying to be so brave. Kurt who was slipping his arm through the strap of his bag and—
"I'm going to…I'll sleep downstairs tonight, Blaine. I'm sorry…if I'm not…I'm sorry." Kurt said softly, then slipped from the room like a shadow and left Blaine sitting on the bed, stunned and confused.
Kurt slid through the doorway of the bedroom and into the hallway, his mind a mess of uncertainty and brain numbing rejection. Nobody wants to play with broken toys, Kurt…he heard over and over again. Broken…unwanted…still, after all this time. Broken.
Kurt made his way into the living room and braced an arm on the piano, heaving in air now and just trying to keep from crying until he got out of the apartment and downstairs. The last thing he needed was to appear more weak…and broken. A strangled cry wrenched from his chest and he pushed off of the piano and lurched for the steps and a strong hand grasped his arm and tugged him back. Blaine…
"No! No, Kurt, you don't get to do that! You don't get to run away again!" Blaine said, and his harsh words snapped Kurt from his thoughts immediately.
"Broken…" He sobbed.
"No, baby…you're not. You're not broken, you're whole. You're Kurt…my Kurt. We're not walking away without talking about things anymore…that got us in a shit ton of confusion last time and I won't have it this time, Kurt. No way in hell. Come back in here, sit down and talk to me. Why are you running?" He asked, tugging Kurt to sit on the sofa with him in the dark.
"I thought I was ready…"
"And you're not? That's totally alright, baby. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, if you're not ready, then you're not. I'm not angry, I'm not upset, and I'm not leaving. We work through it; we don't run from it." Blaine told him gently, rubbing circles in his back.
"But you don't want me." Kurt whispered, his voice breaking.
"WHAT?! Oh my God, Kurt, nothing could be further from the truth! When you said that…when you offered, my heart exploded and made everything in my head malfunction, but because I can't speak coherently doesn't mean I don't want you…God, Kurt…no. I want nothing more, but I'm terrified, baby. I have to tell you this…I'm not hiding it. The only man to ever attempt to do what you're asking of me hurt you, nearly killed you and came back for seconds, and let's face it, it wasn't so long ago that I think you'd be just peachy keen with the idea….but that's not for me to say. If you're ready, then we'll try." Blaine said, his speech impassioned and his heart full to bursting.
"…wanna try…" Kurt whispered. "Want to be close to you. I want to belong to you, Blaine."
"Hey…" Blaine smiled into his eyes, brushing tears away with his thumb. "Then, Kurt…we'll try." He said, hauling him into a bone crushing hug and holding him tightly. "We'll try…tonight, tomorrow, whenever. Please don't cry, you know it kills me." He whispered into Kurt's hair. "We'll try, baby."
"Ok.." Kurt whispered into his neck as Blaine held him, allowing him to calm down.
"Don't you think it's kind of fitting that we'll make love like this, for the first time, in this place…in our place…where we met?" Blaine smiled. Kurt leaned up and kissed the underside of his jaw and smiled.
"I think it might just be perfect, despite any…um…difficulties that might arise…qualms…and such. Our place…and just you and me together." Kurt smiled.
"C'mon…" Blaine said, standing to pull Kurt into his side. They walked down the hall to the bedroom before Kurt hesitated and stopped just at the door, turning to look back into the other room. Blaine turned and gave him a curious glance.
"Babe?" He asked, eyebrows rising.
"I…you're right. It should be where we met." Kurt smiled. If Blaine thought he saw a devious little smirk in the low light, he wasn't wrong.
"Bathroom…ok? I want a shower." Kurt said shyly. "Me first…then you…then…." He blushed.
"Ok…I'll wait." Blaine grinned, plopping down on the edge of the bed.
Kurt sauntered off into the bathroom, then paused and stuck his head back out for a split second, just watching Blaine, who was watching him with a smirk.
"What?" Blaine laughed, staring.
"Nothing…just wanna make this a night you won't forget."
"It already is." Blaine replied, his voice silky soft, and Kurt nodded and disappeared into the bathroom for a quick shower and hopefully an inner pep talk to stabilize his nerves. This might be the single, most crazy thing he'd ever considered, but it also might be the most romantic.
The funny thing about showering is that it's pretty mindless. You've done it so many times that it becomes something you can do in the dark, with your eyes closed, or without even giving it a second thought. That leaves the mind to think of other things, though, and Blaine's mind was going wild.
When he made his way out of the bathroom, his hair damp and his curls a bit wild, he walked into the bedroom with a towel around his waist to find Kurt….nowhere in sight. The bed looked to have been ransacked and Blaine's eyes flew wide, concerned.
"Kurt?" He called, walking out of the bedroom. No answer. "Babe? Where'd you go?" He called again.
"Not too far…" He heard, and his heart stopped dead in the doorway. The vision nearly brought him to his knees. There, laid out before him like a sensual feast, atop their ebony grand piano, on pillows and blankets and sheets of silky softness, was Kurt, in all his naked glory, just staring at Blaine with a wicked gleam in his eyes.
"Make love to me where we met, Blaine." He stated, simply, directly and holy shit did it hit Blaine like a punch in the gut. There was Kurt, on his belly, propped up on his elbows, batting his eyelashes at his lover like a trained professional, his skin glowing like a beacon in the dark room as he smiled and bit his bottom lip invitingly. He looked like an angel just waiting to be ravaged and dragged down to the dark side.
"I…I can't…Kurt, I c-can't...I'm sorry….."
A/N - big thanks to Suzanne for editing for me :) She has three million of her own things going on and yet she makes time to this stuff for me. I'm forever grateful!
Also, thanks to Sue, Lory and Sara for the reviews last chapter. When you review as a guest, it doesn't allow me to reply, so please know that I appreciate the kind words! Thanks for reading!
Other than that, I can't think of anything else except to remind you all that I don't own glee, any of it's storylines, plots, characters or any of the vile and ungodly bullshit spoilers which have reached our ears. My plan is to wait until the show airs to really lose my shit if it's bad...really...as bad as it sounds. Oh God. Breathe... Have a great week! :)