CHAPTER 4 - An Insane Move

Instead of accepting that he'd finally driven his second-in-command to quit, Gibbs poked a finger in the center of Tony's chest, and shouted, "The hell you will! You work for me until I say otherwise, DiNozzo!"

Tony lost his cool and slapped Gibbs' hand away. "You can't have it both ways, Gibbs!" He leaned in and raised his voice, almost shouting, "Ever since I took out Budd, and Teague and I decimated what was left of The Calling, the CIA has been calling every week to offer me a job. Yeah, that's right, and I never told you, or anyone! At least someone thinks I have some value other than being their personal punching bag!"

"Those CIA boys'll tear you to pieces," Gibbs sneered and turned away.

Before Gibbs had taken a step, Tony grabbed his arm and made him face him. He was worked up, and he was probably going to say something he'd regret later, but this was his one chance to get it all out. "You're a piece of work, Gibbs. You can't even find it in yourself to shake my hand and say, 'Good job, Tony! I'm glad you blew away the piece of shit, Budd, who not only brainwashed some dumb kid I was stupid enough to trust – even though DiNozzo warned me not to trust him – but got him to shoot me down in the middle of the street, and set off a bomb that killed a dozen people including your best friend, Dorney!' And how about, 'You did such a spanking fine job working with the CIA they're falling over themselves trying to recruit you! I'm fucking happy for you.' Why can't you say that? Are you too fucking proud, or is it just good old Gibbs-arrogance? Or don't you care? I mean, do you even have any feelings, other than this anger that's eating away at you like poison? For once, can't you just tell me the truth?"

Gibbs grabbed Tony's arms and propelled him back until he thumped against a wall. Getting in Tony's face, he ground out, "You think I don't feel every agent's death as much as you do? You think Dorneget getting blown into so many pieces they couldn't find all of him didn't tear me apart? You think the responsibility doesn't weigh on me? Damn it, Tony, I'm not forcing you out! And, what the fuck, I can't believe you're even considering spending the rest of your career at the FBI!"

"Then what the hell is this all about?" Tony demanded, thoroughly confused. For starters, Gibbs had just called him 'Tony,' which he rarely did. And second, hadn't Gibbs made it obvious he wanted him out of sight, out of mind?

"You're better than that! I want you to do something for yourself, not follow in the footsteps of someone like me. I'm… worn out… fuck, I don't know what I am anymore. Getting shot… it changed things." Gibbs shook his head, unable to explain whatever it was that was going on in his mind. "Everything's changed," he said.

Gibbs was right up against him, pressing hard, as if he was using sheer physicality to force Tony to understand. It was impossible to ignore the hard thigh, the faint scent of sawdust, and the intense blue eyes, but somehow Tony swallowed hard and asked, "So your answer is to leave me behind on every case? To refuse to work with me?"

"I… I can't work with you, see you every day… not after…"

"You can't work with me? Why not? What have I done?" Tony asked plaintively.

Gibbs gripped Tony's arms even tighter, and met his eyes with a pained expression. "Ever since I was shot… everything's different. I don't have the strength to carry the past around with me any longer. I just can't."

"It's okay, we all have things we carry around with us," Tony said, not quite understanding what was really troubling the older man.

"No, it isn't okay… because I have to… Look, I don't want you to go, but I can't hold you back anymore," Gibbs said, shaking his head. His grip on Tony's arms relaxed, but he didn't release him.

"It's my choice, Gibbs. It always has been. I don't want to go, but I can't take you shutting me out all the time." Tony tried to get out of Gibbs' grip, away from him, so he could think, because being so close was unsettling, to say the least. But moving Gibbs was like trying to move a boulder. "Let me go," he said, breathing heavily from Gibbs' proximity.

But instead of backing off, or allowing Tony to slip away, Gibbs tightened his grip again. Gibbs was looking intently into his eyes, seeking something, and Tony swallowed, trying desperately to think of something halfway intelligent to say, when all he could think was how much he wanted to grab Gibbs' face between his hands and kiss him hard. Only that was not an option, he reminded himself. Never would be.

Gibbs pressed closer, and whispered, "Tony," and something deep inside Tony swelled and grew and, horrified, he realized that not only was he getting turned on, but apparently, from the way Gibbs was now staring at his mouth, and considering what felt an awful lot like Gibbs' dick pressing into his thigh, it was mutual. Holy shit, what was going on here?

"You don't get it," Gibbs said with a deep sigh.

No, he didn't get it, but just the same, Tony was willing to listen, if only he could get his brain online. "Then… um… tell me. I'm not going anywhere. Besides, we're both adults here and I think I can handle whatever it is."

Instead of nodding in agreement, or backing off, or telling Tony what was at the root of his recent behavior, Gibbs gently took his face in his hands. He angled his head, slightly. And he got a lot closer. Until their mouths were almost touching. And then they were. And he kissed him, thoroughly.

And then Gibbs parted Tony's lips with his tongue and moaned into his mouth, and that's when Tony's brain caught up with things. He would have gasped except Gibbs' tongue was invading his mouth, and he probably should have protested, but Gibbs' hands were roaming all over his body, and he really should have pushed him away, but a callused hand was delving beneath his shirt and stroking his back. It was all so strange, and so sensual, that he didn't have a chance.

Instead of pushing his boss, his supposedly straight-as-a-fucking-arrow boss away, Tony sighed and gave in, knowing he was hopelessly outgunned and could not possibly win. Sliding his arms around Gibbs' back, with his heart doing its best to pound its way out of his chest, he returned Gibbs' kiss, eagerly, and with a moan of his own. He knew, deep down, that he'd always wanted this, even if it was an impossibility, an insane move he would never even consider. Only he had dreamed of this, fantasized, and the thing was, no dream could hold a candle to the reality of having Gibbs kiss him with an unexpected hunger while his rough hands stroked his bare skin.

Then Gibbs was groping at him, cupping him through his trousers, and damn, his knees almost gave out. Tony hardened instantly, and was unable to stifle a moan. And he groaned again when Gibbs kissed his down the side of his neck, his rough jaw sliding sensuously across the tender skin, his mouth sucking hard enough to leave a mark.

Tony gripped Gibbs by the hair and cried hoarsely, "Oh, fuck. Gibbs… that's good… Gibbs… wait… wait!"

Breathing heavily, Gibbs paused only long enough to grunt, "What?" before going back to kissing and sucking Tony's neck.

Tony looked at the ceiling and said barely managed to ask, "Do you… oh God… d'you have a bed we can use?"

"Uh, yeah."

"It isn't a twin, is it?"

There was an amused laugh, muffled against his neck. "Not last time I looked."

Tony had to ask. "You ever… do this before?"

"Ask me again in an hour."

◊ • ◊ • ◊ •

Considering it was Gibbs' first time having sex with a man, he was one hell of a lover. He proved to be forceful yet surprisingly considerate, and then just as Tony was getting into the sweet caresses, Bam! Gibbs grabbed his legs and stuck them over his shoulders, and five seconds later, he was pounding Tony into the mattress.

If a bed hadn't been available – after all, Gibbs had said on more than one occasion that he didn't have a guest room – Tony would have done it on that couch, the floor or anywhere else, for that matter. He didn't have to though, because Gibbs hauled him up the stairs and straight into the master bedroom. Holy fuck, Gibbs went all caveman when he got aroused.

Tony realized it was quite an honor to be allowed to make love in the comfort of Gibbs' bedroom, considering how the man had forsaken sleeping there in favor of sacking out on the living room couch. Whatever his reason was, it had to be a good one, because that couch was damned uncomfortable. Probably had something to do with bad memories of one or more of his wives.

Not that Tony would quantify the rough-and-tumble marathon of sex that followed as making love, exactly. What they did involved a lot of shouting (the good kind you had during outstanding sex), some bondage, which was a huge surprise (apparently Gibbs had a large leather belt collection and wasn't afraid to use it), screaming (when Gibbs edged Tony for what seemed like hours), and several orgasms (until Tony was so wrung out he lay there limply and cried from exhaustion). Or maybe the tears were because it finally hit him that the thing he hadn't even known he'd been looking for had been right under his nose all this time.

It was around 0300 when Tony came out of the bathroom after taking a piss and giving himself a cursory wipe with a washcloth. A glance in the mirror had alerted him to the fact that Gibbs had given him hickeys all over his torso as well as his neck. Great, now he'd have to wear a shirt and tie for several days.

Tony turned on a nightlight in the bathroom and left the door slightly ajar, so he could gather his clothes from where they'd been strewn about, without tripping over something. Time to leave, while Gibbs was still asleep. He smiled at how quickly both he and Gibbs had stripped the moment they'd entered the room, but that smile faded when he realized he didn't want to sneak out before dawn, as was his habit.

This whole thing had been the result of high emotions during their heated argument, and now that high was gone, it was time to go. It had been fun though, and a novel experience, getting fucked by someone he'd always felt an affinity for. Gibbs had certainly been enthusiastic; it was as if all their personal issues hadn't even existed. Only they did. They weren't going to go away just because Gibbs had fucked him. More than once.

The no-strings-attached code he lived by had suddenly, and without warning, become hopelessly tangled. He should leave. Only he really didn't want to, and he wasn't sure why. Well, obviously, the sex had been good, great actually, and there was always the hope Gibbs would get it up again so they could have another go-round before dawn – but it was more than that. He'd been lusting after his boss for years, and now he'd finally had sex with him, he wanted more. A lot more.

Gibbs grunted and flung his arm over the side of the bed where Tony had been sleeping. His eyes opened and he said in a scratchy voice, "Get your ass back in bed, DiNozzo."

Tony didn't even think. He just dropped his bundle of clothes on the floor and crawled back into bed. Gibbs spooned up behind him, smelling of sweat and cum. Tony had known Gibbs had lost weight after being shot, and he was lean but strong, and it looked like he'd been working on his upper body. Tony wondered if weights were part of his physical therapy, and if he had any workout equipment at home. Probably sanded his boat and lifted gallon cans of paint down in his basement, he thought with a smile.

Tony turned his head a little and whispered, "When's your flight?"

"Not until 0900. Be back in two days." Gibbs kissed the back of Tony's neck, licking and sucking a little before moving on, as if he were sampling him. "Then we'll have the whole weekend." He kissed and sucked, and did so again. Then out of nowhere, he whispered in Tony's ear, "You still with Zoe?"

Tony froze. "Zoe?" Shit, he hadn't even thought about her. And now he'd cheated on her, something he'd never done before – with anyone. Except for that one time he'd had sex in a limo (okay, it was twice), and that didn't count as cheating. Did it?

Gibbs' arm tightened around Tony's waist like a band of steel. "Is she what you want?"

No, I want you, thought Tony. "I thought so. But now… I think we both know it's over," he said, and it was the truth.

"Is it? For you?"

"Yeah, it is." Tony turned his head and was a little surprised to see a possessive gleam in Gibbs' eyes.

"Good." Gibbs bit his shoulder, as if to punctuate his word.

Tony yelled and jabbed Gibbs with an elbow because it damned well hurt, but when Gibbs licked the sore spot, Tony's cock hardened without warning. Gibbs' hand slid across his hip and squeezed his balls, lightly at first, and then with increasing pressure until Tony whimpered.

Gibbs located the tube of lube and pushed Tony onto his back. A moment later, two slicked-up fingers were inserted in Tony's ass, twisting and jabbing at his prostate, and when Gibbs added a third finger, Tony was breathing hard and pushing back to get more. Gibbs nipped at Tony's ear and said, "We'll need more condoms. Extra lube."

"Okay… sure, no problem… You want me to go to the store now and…" He gripped Gibbs' shoulders, digging in while crying, "Oh God… there! Fuck! Don't stop!" It was really hard to think with Gibbs' fingers buried deep inside him, finger-fucking him and like he was, but it struck him that Gibbs wanted more of this, apparently on a regular basis. No matter how good that made him feel, a whole mountain of problems began to mount up and threatened to overwhelm him. Nobody could know about this. He could just imagine the jokes, the gossip, stories about how he'd fucked his way through the NCIS personnel, and it would reach Vance's ears, and SecNav's, and he'd lose his job, and even worse, Gibbs would be fired, and… and he wasn't even sure if he forgave Gibbs for the way he'd treated him for the past few weeks.

Oh God, he never thought he'd be saying these words… "Wait… wait! We need to talk."

Gibbs grunted but wasn't about to halt the proceedings. Apparently he was on a roll. He slid his cock back and forth against Tony's, and tweaked one nipple while kissing him roughly. What could Tony do but return the kiss, while taking hold of Gibbs' cock, dark red and thick and leaking, along with his own, and pump them together until Gibbs was moaning into his mouth? How hot was that? All his senses were in overload and he was shaking with need, so Tony begged, "Fuck me, please, now!"

Gibbs hastily pushed Tony's knees towards his chest, and penetrated him in one long thrust until he bottomed out. He started to move, slowly at first, and then with more force, grinding and thrusting, fucking Tony with everything he had, never breaking eye contact. Gibbs groaned, thrusting at double-time, panting, "Tony! So good… fuck… so good…" He stiffened and came before slowly sinking on top of Tony with a long, drawn-out sigh.

Tony's climax left him gasping for air, but with a big smile. Gibbs' face was buried in his neck, his body draped across his. He was heavy but Tony welcomed the weight, and before he fell asleep he patted Gibbs' ass and whispered, "You're pretty fucking good yourself."

◊ • ◊ • ◊ •