Five POV

I poured my fourth cup of coffee of the night, sucking it down, not minding that it burned my tongue. I needed the caffeine to get me through this crap show.

We sat around him, or rather, my family sat around little me, like he was some wise little sage. A little omen from the past (future?) come to enlighten them about things.

Yes. I know. Last time this happened, it was pretty dang important. But things aren't how they were then. The world isn't on the verge of ending, Vanya isn't about to go beserk and blow up the moon.

I eyed her. She sat criss-cross on the floor with the rest of them, holding my baby son like a teddy bear. Yeah. Don't think she'll be causing any apocalypses any time soon.

I let my nostrils flare as I stood back behind him. This little punk was annoying me. Getting on my absolute last nerve. But I couldn't just get rid of him.

He eyed them, mouth stuffed full with a peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich. His cheeks were full, moving as he chewed.

'Do you need a glass of milk?', Vanya asked him meekly, still gripping Carter.

He wiped his mouth and swallowed.

'Coffee would be great, black.'

I rolled my eyes.

'I'll get it.', Klaus said, hopping up from his spot on the floor.

I eyed him, grabbing his arm as he walked towards the counter.

'Are we really catering to him like this?', I questioned, exasperated.

Klaus shrugged at me, looking more stoic than usual.

'Last time little you appeared, we didn't listen.', he said, looking me in the eye. 'And we got ourselves into a big load of trouble because of that.'

I looked forward, not wanting to listen to what Klaus was saying. But he was right, possibly. I reluctantly pulled up a chair beside the mess of all of them sitting in the floor.

'Glad you've joined us, old Five.', he said, smirking. I gave him a hard smirk in return, letting my head cock to the side.

Carter whined, throwing himself towards me, wanting me instead of Vanya.

'Come 'ere kid.', I said, grabbing him and taking him into my own arms.

Little Five looked at me in shock and disgust. 'Wait, that's our kid?', he asked, shoving the last bite of his sandwich in and grimacing.

'Yeah, you get over it.'

Dolores slapped my leg lightly, sitting on my right.

'Oh my gosh! That reminds me!', Klaus said, coming back to the group with the coffee. 'Do you remember the time we went into Meritech about the glass eye, and I pretended to be your dad?', he said, grinning as he handed it to him.

'Um, no, I don't.', he answered, taking the mug with a confused glance.

'That's 'cause that was me, Klaus.', I said, almost beaming with pride. This kid wasn't the Five they all knew, and it was obvious. 'Not him.'

He only glanced over at me with side-eyes, taking the first hot sip from his coffee.

'Cut the chat.', I said, taking a gulp of my own. 'How are you here, and under what circumstances, and what EXACTLY did the Handler say to you?'

Dolores looked up at me with an annoyed stare.

'Are we just gonna sit here and sing Kumbaya all night?', I whispered to her, widening my eyes. She shook her head and took Carter from me.

'Well, it's complicated.', he said, straightening mannequin Dolores' blouse. I cringed, seeing how I used to act with that thing.

'Start from the beginning.', Lila perked up and said, picking her teeth with a toothpick.

A loud sound came from the floor below us, the extra basement we dug out a year ago, and all of us looked around.

'What's that?', little Five questioned me.

'Grace is playing with the particle collider.', I said, shrugging.

He jumped up from his spot, almost spilling his coffee on Dolores in the process.

'We have a particle collider?!', he asked, amazed. 'HOW BIG IS THE BASEMENT?'

'No, I have a particle collider.', I said, eyeing him. 'You only wish you were this cool.', I said, smirking. 'And to answer your question.. much bigger than is legal. Much, much bigger.'

'And we're just hoping nobody starts any below-ground construction projects anywhere in a good 10-mile radius.', Dolores said, rolling her eyes.

'No, no, hun, I've written to the governor to inform him of it. Fingers crossed he approves.', I said. 'Because it happens to already be built.', I put in, looking down into my mug.

'What is a particle collider?', Klaus asked, smiling at me.

'Don't worry about it.', I said, smiling back. He shrugged, contented.

'Back to the story, please.', Lila said, nonchalant. 'I'd like to hear about my apparently not-so-dead mother.'

'Oh, right.', little Five murmured, sitting back down.

He cleared his voice, making me scoff.

'Would you like to hear or not?', he asked aggressively.

'Go ahead.', I said, sucking my teeth.

'So, I was in the apocalypse, of course.', he began. 'And I was sitting with Dolores, working on the formulas I needed to get out of that place, and she was explaining to me how I was wrong.'

Everyone looked heavily confused. I looked down at live Dolores, however, and her face was on a whole different level. She looked over at Klaus, and he widened his eyes, shaking his head as if saying 'you don't wanna know'.

'And then a flash appeared, much like the one I came out of a little while ago, and the woman appeared.'

'And what did she look like?', Lila questioned, interested.

'Like I said. Blonde curled hair, black trenchcoat, fancy briefcase. Creepy voice.'

'Creepy? Like, how creepy?', I questioned.

'Menacing.'

'Yup, it's her.'

'And then, she lured me towards her with a cup of coffee.', he said, almost looking guilty. 'I was desperate.'

'And did you drink it?', Klaus said, hands clasped.

'You better bet I did.'

'And then what happened?', Lila asked, becoming more and more invested.

'She asked me if I wanted to get out of there. Then I asked how she got the massive scar on her forehead.', he explained. 'And then she gave me a death stare and told me not to ask questions.'

He took another drink. 'I told her, obviously, that yes, I did want to get out. And then she offered me a set of conditions.'

'Which were?'

'First of all, she said she had some people she needed to get back at.', he said. He looked around at all of us.We all looked around, trying not to act guilty. 'I'm assuming she meant all of you.'

We nodded.

'She offered me a contract, said if I'd just consent to her sending me back and then agree to wait for further instructions, follow them precisely, and vow to not break loyalty to her, she'd send me back to my family.', he explained.

'She didn't mention that it'd be a whole heck of a lot bigger than I remembered.', he said, looking over at the kids, who stared back at him awkwardly.

'So basically, you're in contract with my mother, as her little inside job-worker?', Lila questioned, not surprised.

He nodded.

I shook my head. 'That's just like her.'

Vanya looked around.

'So what do we do now?', she asked quietly.

'Easy.', I said, draining my coffee mug. 'We just have to get rid of your boss.'

'Again...?'