A/N: Sorry for the delay! Title comes from the song by Coldplay:) Read away.

Chapter 10: Swallowed In The Sea

Point of View: Tiara Somerhalder July 14, 2016

"It's too early," I groan twisting my body in pain.

One of the nurses wheeling me to a room asks, "When are you supposed to be due?"

"October 4th it's way too early the baby won't survive." Tears pour down my face and more pain surges through my body.

"You have to calm down. You are putting too much stress on your body and the baby."

"Don't you fucking tell me to calm down! My husband might be dead!" I'm finally in the room and the nurses run around hooking stuff up to me with trouble as I continue to squirm with pain. Dr. Graham comes in to put her fingers under my dress and starts going crazy with medical talk.

"Get her numb now! We're losing time she should've been in the operating room from the get go! How did no one spot this?" She bellows following everyone out of the room. Dr. Graham looks down at me, "It will be okay I promise. You will get through this birth if that's the last damn thing I do as a doctor."

"What's wrong?"

"We need to perform an emergency c-section it's too late to relax your uterus we have to do the surgery now."

I'm rolled into another room where another doctor waits ready to administer something into my IV. All too soon, I'm drifting away into darkness.

[X]

I wake up hearing a voice but sadly realize it's just the news. "CEO Ian Somerhalder was involved in an explosion at his business in Louisiana. An investigation is going on to find who is responsible and also if Somerhalder could've made it out of the building by some miracle."

Reality hits and I realize that my husband wasn't found. All the tension floods into my body again as I start to think about what I will do without him here.

Dr. Graham walks in, "I'm surprised you aren't out of bed."

I finally take in my surroundings and see what look like two huge fish tanks. She helps me out of the bed and leads me over to them. I gasp and instantly start crying seeing two little pink bundles hooked up to only God knows what. Seeing their ribs makes me sit back down unable to handle everything.

"They are okay it's nothing we can't handle."

"I need him here. This is too much." I hold my head in my hands playing in my head what should've happened. I look back up at my newborns and completely fall apart, "Please take them out of here. I can't look at them."

All I hear is noise as I rock back and forth with my arms around myself crying harder and harder. I only feel the crushing weight of the world on my shoulders and having to deal with it by myself scares me to my core.

"Tiara relax you're already weak from surgery."

I don't listen too her causing commotion in the room. Before I comprehend what is going on I'm knocked out once again.

[X]

I slowly wake up feeling as if I got hit over the head. I'm practically blinded by the sun but I realize why it's so bright, I'm in an all white room. I bring my heavy body upright and look around at emptiness. I get up and peek through the windows that show a hallway. I bang on them but it's as if I'm not even here.

I sit back down on the bed for a moment then Dr. Graham walks in, "Good morning. How are you feeling?"

"What do you think?"

She sighs, "I'm sure you're wondering where you are."

"Considering my attire and this plastic band around my wrist I assume I'm in the hospital."

"Correct but you're in a different wing, psychiatrics."

I laugh to myself, "Your decision?"

"My proposal but decision of those closest too you. They feel as if you could hurt yourself… again in the next few days so we just want to keep an eye on you."

"Why can't I do that in the comfort of my home?"

"Doctors are afraid that could be a trigger."

"Why? Just spit it out there's obviously something going on that I don't know."

"The rubble was searched and a body was found. Ian has been presumed dead."

I stare at her as if I don't understand English. My brain scrapes for a thought, something to stay anchored, but there's nothing there. I don't even feel the tears rolling down my face until they reach my chest. I end up staring at the blank wall not noticing that Dr. Graham is squatting in front of me searching for some sort of sanity.

"Now you know why you're here."

I slowly nod as my brain begins to function again. I start to assess what the world has left to offer me but I can't think of anything. "Please… just leave me to die."

"You have Christian and now two beautiful little girls."

"They're better off without me. I can't help them if I can't even help myself. I don't want to help myself I'm tired. Life has finally won the fight against me I'm throwing the white flag up."

"They need you."

"I can't even look at them! They are the spitting image of their father! How am I supposed to watch Christian grow up to the fill the shoes of a dead man? They're not my kids they're our kids me and Ian. The world is going to expect me to keep trucking along and be okay. Would you be okay if the love of your life died? I have to keep his business alive and rebuild the building he died in. Just because he's gone doesn't mean his dreams have to leave as well."

"You have to be alive to keep his dreams alive then Tiara."

"No! I'm done! I don't want to live anymore!" I yell to the top of my lungs, "Kill me now! I don't want to live!"

"That's not going to happen."

"Please don't make me live without him." I fall apart and cry even harder. "I can't do it. It hurts so much. He can't be gone! He wouldn't leave me again! He promised me he wouldn't leave again! It's just a huge mistake. One of these days he will be back! Ian wouldn't dare leave me on this earth without him!"

"You can get through this. You have so many people that care about you."

"I don't care. I don't have the one person I need."

"Ti-"

"Leave."

"You do-"

"Leave! Unless you're going to kill me or get me out of here leave!"

She takes a deep breath then gets up, "I'll check on you later," and walks out leaving the sound of automatic locks behind her.

[X]

The sun comes and goes leaving the moon to replace it. Nothing has changed. I haven't said another word, I haven't thought about anything at all, and I haven't even moved. If had to think to breathe, I would've been gone a long time ago. I stare at the same wall curled up in the same ball. I went in out of sleep all day causing my heart to ache more and more. Every time I'd wake up I would think I heard Ian, saw Ian, or felt Ian but that was an obvious delusion.

I try to swallow the ball that has been in my throat but don't succeed as tears continue to roll. Lucky for me I begin to fall asleep with ease knowing that I'll be with Ian in my dreams.

This isn't even close to the end. Review and all that good stuff please and thank you!