It had been three days, and Maki still hadn't done what she promised herself she'd do.
"Morning, Marika!" came the voice of Matsuko Sakame, the matriarch of the family. She'd made enough breakfast for the whole family, as always, and even though Maki wasn't coming down from her room until nearly noon, there was still something there for her to eat, as Matsuko did the dishes.
The younger kids were both at school, and Takashi, the father of the family, was at work. The warmth and kindness these people showed her had yet to fail in throwing Maki off her game. She couldn't bring herself to bring up her usual cold stoicness, faltering as she replied, "T-thank you for the food." She tried not to look at the woman as she took the plate and brought it up to her room.
(No! Not my room! It's Marika's room!)
Even that short interaction with a member of the family had unsettled Maki's mood. Once back inside the room she'd been sleeping in, Maki started eating the (delicious) food and turned her mind to the situation she was in.
The logical thing to do, the thing she should have done from the first time she met the Sakame's, was to explain to them the truth. Tell them they daughter is dead, and that Maki is just someone else using her body.
But even thinking of doing that was hard. These people...Maki had never met anyone like them. Even Gonta, the big softy that he was, harbored darkness in his heart. These people, these nice, foolish, smiling people thought she was still the person they knew. Maki knew that if she explained the truth to them, actually made them understand it, she could break them. Maki had broken too many people already.
Were they already starting to suspect something was wrong, though? She never called them by familial names, in fact she avoided naming them at all in conversation. Every day so far had been spent in this small bedroom, with idol singer posters on the wall, plush animals on the bed, and a diary written in cute handwriting talking about the mundanities of normal life. It was obvious that she had been popular, her diary attested to as much, and already there were apparently several calls for Marika from friends, which Maki refused to take.
There was no way Maki could actually pretend to be that person, for them or the girl's family. It was simply impossible. That just...wasn't who she was.
Maki's thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock on the door, followed by Matsuko's voice. "Marika, dear? Can I come in?"
Something about someone coming into a space that she was already starting to claim as hers made Maki want to tell her no, but instead she replied, "Uh, yeah, the door's open." It was an inane thing to say. The girl's door didn't even have a lock.
The door opened, and Matsuko came in, looking at Maki with love in her eyes. Seeing that called to something in Maki, some hole where familial love should have grown, but a broken childhood had left vacant. What made it harder was how much of herself she saw in these people's features. Matsuko had the same eyes as Maki, color and all, though of course hers had so much more life in them. "I wanted to talk, if that's alright," Matsuko said, an unspoken apology for even asking that in her tone.
(This makes it easier. She's the one coming to me.)
"I'd like that," Maki told her. She was sitting on the bed, which still had pastel-colored sheets, and gestured to a plain wooden chair, which the woman sat in without complaint.
They looked at each other for what felt like an eternity, neither seeming to know who should speak. Strangely enough, it was Matsuko who gathered up the courage first. "I know you've been through a lot, sweetie, but we're starting to get worried. You barely talk to us, you never leave your room, and you won't even talk to your friends." The mother reached out with one hand, and Maki hesitantly reached out and took it. "We're always here to talk to you if you need us. You know that."
"But I don't," Maki said, the words spilling out in a rush. "I don't know that. I'm not...what do you think they did to me? On the show? What do you know?" It was easier to make her understand if she knew where they had gotten it wrong.
Looking confused, Matsuko squeezed Maki's hand, clearly trying to give her a mother's comfort. "Well, dear, we know you signed up to be on it, and that it wasn't very safe. We were told something about them doing something to you, about making you an Ultimate something or other? You know we've never really cared for that show, I've heard it's not appropriate. I never...we were just so happy to hear you were coming home, Marika." Tears were starting to well up in her eyes, and Maki felt like she could feel the pain this family had gone through in Marika's absence.
So, they didn't really understand what had gone on. Perhaps it hadn't been explained to them correctly, or maybe they just had refused to understand it. Either way, Maki had to set them straight. "It was more than a little unsafe. Of the sixteen students who started the 53rd season of Danganronpa, only me and two of my friends lived." Matsuko's free hand went to her mouth in shock, tears starting to fall down her face. But Maki kept talking. "But the bigger point is: I'm...I'm not really your daughter."
It was hard to get the words out, but Matsuko didn't react to them like Maki had expected. Instead of pulling her hand away, she just clutched on harder. "What are you talking about? Of course you're my daughter!" The poor woman sounded half-hysterical.
Far from the first or last time in her life, Maki cursed Team Danganronpa. She had the memories and experiences of an assassin, but seeing Matsuko go through this...it was enough to break even Maki's heart. Using those artifical talents to dampen her emotions, Maki continued her explanation, trying to speak in a measured voice. "Just before the show started, Team Danganronpa overwrote Marika Sakame's memories, personality, and skills with that of a fictional character they'd created. In the process, everything that made Marika who she is was lost." In the process of trying to tamp down her own harsh feelings, by this point Maki realized she was sounding cold, uncaring.
Perhaps that would make it easier for them to swallow. Let them see the monster in their daughter's body. "I am that fictional character. My name is Maki Harukawa, and I am the Ultimate Assassin. The memories I was created with were of a life raised in a hellish orphanage, forced to become a hired killer to stay alive." It finally happened. Matsuko pulled her hand away from Maki's, recoiling as though she'd stuck the appendage in boiling water.
The confusion was there, now. She looked skeptical about what Maki was saying, but there was fear there too, fear that this was all true. "B-but you're Marika!" she said, sounding as though she was pleading with Maki for this to be true. "You're my daughter! You must just be confused!"
Those words hurt more than anything else. Some part of Maki wanted to lash out, to strike back, to make this woman pay for saying that. But Maki knew that wouldn't help anyone, least of all herself. It would just bring more pain. So, looking at her sweatpant-clad legs, she did her best to sound calm, bowing her head in apology. "I'm sorry. I didn't...if there was some way to bring Marika back, for you to have her instead of me...but there isn't. I'm here now. She isn't. If you and your husband don't want me here, I understand that, and accept it." Maki wasn't a person who apologized often, but she meant every word. The world didn't need her in it. She didn't belong.
Something she said must have really affected Matsuko. Looking at Maki differently now, though exactly how Maki couldn't really tell, Matsuko made an effort to slow her crying, and pulled out a handkerchief to dry her eyes. "Your father and I will discuss this, but please...don't say things like that. I would never throw you out, and I don't...I am glad you are here, Maki." Then, she got up, kissed Maki's forehead, and left the room.
(Was that good? Was it bad? Why do I feel...happy?)
"Hey, kid," were the first words Shuichi heard from Hayashi's mother each day. He'd wake up in the early afternoon, after spending his night staying up on the internet, and emerge from the small room to see her, looking tired, making enough lunch for the two of them. Her job, which he still didn't know anything about, required late hours, so their sleep schedules were near identical.
That didn't mean he'd come to understand her. Ran wasn't hostile. She wasn't angry. She didn't dote on him.
What she did do was make sure he didn't go hungry, and say at least those two words to him every day. She never asked about Danganronpa, she never asked what he did all day, and she never volunteered anything about herself.
Strangely enough, there was a sort of comfortable atmosphere when they were together. Whether it was for a few minutes or just over an hour, the silence between them wasn't tense. Shuichi actually found it refreshing. It gave him the feeling of being around another person, without making him have to be social.
He could still feel a wall between them, though. A wall named 'Hayashi'.
Strangely enough, Shuichi hadn't set out to learn anything else about the teenage boy. He'd gotten a surface reading of him from the room, but he didn't want more than that. What Shuichi had seen on the tape was all he needed to know. It wasn't common for Shuichi to become offended, but hearing Hayashi say that he wanted to be the Ultimate Detective who used his skills for murder made Shuichi hate him.
So far, he'd mostly spent his time getting the room to his liking. He didn't throw out anything of Hayashi's, but he had packed a few boxes with the things he didn't want to look at anymore. Danganronpa merchandise was the biggest thing, and there was a lot of it to put away.
If Shuichi had been in the mood to analyze Hayashi a little more, the abundance of Nagito figurines would have been something to think about.
In a way, Shuichi also took the time to do what he did to the room on the computer. Creating a folder simply named "Hayashi's", he filled it with everything he could find that didn't come installed in the PC.
Once he felt like the computer was his, Shuichi returned to his research. He continued to look into everything he could find about the world that differed from the one in his fake memories. He tried to independently study. He looked into his options for higher education, what he'd need to do to become a private detective.
Sometimes, when the mood struck him, he'd take a manga or a mystery novel from the bookshelf and take a break.
It was hard getting used to this life, but he was finding it suited him.
Still, he did wish he could bring himself to talk to Ran.
"Ta-da~" Himiko exclaimed as the doves emerged from what was once a simple glass of water. Of course, this was Himiko, so the exclamation did come a bit more bored and tired-sounding than most magicians would have delivered it.
But her audience didn't care. "That was wonderful, Himiko!" Short Mom said, clapping her hands energetically as she gaped at the result of the trick. They were in the family living room, and after both moms had come home from work, they wanted another magic show from Himiko.
Tall Mom was also applauding, though she did so with more composure and restraint. Still, there was pride in her eyes as she looked at Himiko. "Excellent, dear." Then Tall Mom paused, putting a finger to her chin as she considered something. "You know, if you wanted to perform professionally, I could pull some strings to make it happen."
Himiko gasped. It had been a long time since she'd performed for anyone but her new moms. Sure, there had been that whole thing at the school, but that performance had been...interrupted. Short Mom must have seen Himiko looking sad and misunderstood, because she rushed in to say, "If you don't want to do that, we won't pressure you!" A quick pointed glance at her wife seemed to be to make sure she didn't contradict that promise.
Waving her hands in front of her, Himiko took a step closer to her moms, who were sitting side by side on the living room couch. "No, no, no, I'd love that! I was just thinking about..." her voice trailed off, and she knew she didn't have to say what she was thinking about. Her moms had learned that she didn't like talking about what had happened at the Ultimate Academy.
"Why don't I get started on dinner?" Short Mom asked, clearly changing the subject for Himiko's benefit. She went to do just that, leaving Himiko with Tall Mom as Short Mom got to work, singing a silly song to herself as she started preparing the food. "Oh, we are having riiiice, we are having riiiiice, we are having riiiiice, ~mixed with a yummy egg~!" Short Mom was always singing to herself around the house, and Himiko really liked that. Sometimes, she was even able to catch the tune and hum along with her, which seemed to make her really happy.
Himiko took Short Mom's place on the couch, leaning against Tall Mom just as the adult reached an arm around Himiko's shoulder, her other hand reaching for the remote. "Was there anything you wanted to watch, Himiko?" Tall Mom wasn't as physically affectionate, but she still noticed that Himiko liked the contact, and did what she could to make Himiko happy. It was weird though, because it always felt like...she wasn't expecting it.
Shrugging, Himiko just told her, "Nyeh," which the moms had quickly learned to be Himiko's typical noncommittal statement. Tall Mom picked out an educational program, something sciencey, so Himiko just zoned out and returned to the world in her head.
It had only taken one day with the pair for Himiko to start thinking of them as her moms. It had been easy. From the first time they met, the two seemed to love Himiko. They loved her magic, they never told her she didn't have any powers, and they were always thinking of her. Short Mom texted her all the time while she worked as an accountant, and Tall Mom was apparently telling all the kids in her elementary school class about Himiko, without revealing where she came from.
It was perfect.
Kinda.
There was one eensy, teensy, tiny snag.
The longer Himiko stayed with them, the longer she started to think about Aini Tono. The thought of someone being Himiko before Himiko was Himiko was still confusing, but living with the Tono's made it more obvious. They'd taken the time to clean the house of all Aini's things, letting Himiko shop for her own things in her room. They never talked about her. They never seemed to miss her. They seemed to just love Himiko like she was their daughter.
That day, after a delicious dinner, Himiko went to the bathroom to take a shower. She didn't like them, but Tall Mom reminded her it was important to take care of her hygiene. Nyeh. Still Himiko went to do it, but when she went to the bathroom, she noticed something: a crumpled up thing behind the trash can.
Reaching down to grab it, Himiko uncrumpled it and saw it was a picture. A picture of Tall Mom, Short Mom...and Aini. It must have been recent, neither of them looked different then they did when Himiko met the moms, and her body looked the same.
It looked like they were at one of those places people go to take formal family pictures, with a weird cloudy blue wall behind them. Tall Mom's face was all scrunched up, even though it looked like she was trying to smile. Was she stressed? Or scared? Short Mom wasn't even trying to smile. It was crazy for Himiko to see. Short Mom was always so warm and soft and amazing and nice, but in the picture, she was mad!
But the person who drew Himiko's attention the most was Aini. It really hit her then, how that person really wasn't Himiko at all. Himiko had never looked so...mean? The girl in the photo looked annoyed at the photographer, and her parents, and...the world. Like she was too good for them.
"Are you okay in there, Himiko? Did you need some help getting the shower running?" Tall Mom's voice called out from the other side of the door, offering help.
It made Himiko jump, and she quickly crumpled up the photo again and hid it in her button-up shirt's pocket. "No, I'm good!" she said back, before getting the water going. It sounded like Tall Mom had gone, but now Himiko was left to undress, while her stomach hurt.
It felt like she was sick, like she'd eaten something really heavy. What was going on with Aini? Who had she been? How...how was Himiko going to find out?