Staring at his phone for half an hour was a pretty boring way to spend the afternoon. But Shuichi was mentally deadlocked. After a week in his new living situation, he was finally starting to recover, starting to really make steps towards feeling better. Which was why he was able to realize that talking to a therapist was probably a good idea. But not all of him thought so.

What can she do for you? You're not real. You were created for other people's entertainment. Talking to her won't help, it'll just make her pity you.

Shuichi didn't know if the fact that the dark, sneering voice in his head had finally accepted that this was the real world was a good thing. After all, it only seemed to do so because it let it hurt him worse.

But hearing it spit acid at him galvanized his resolve. Shuichi had survived so much to be there, alive. Kaito...Kaito would have wanted Shuichi to help himself.

It was hard to even think his name.

When he did, the names of other friends came without warning.

Tenko.

Gonta.

K-Kaede...

"Hello?"

Blinking, Shuichi realized he'd already dialed the phone number, and quickly raised the phone to his ear and blurted out, "Ms. Kokaki! This is Shuichi Saihara!" He winced, his voice had been too loud. Ran had probably heard it. Did she know who Ms. Kokaki was?

The therapist paused for a moment before replying, and when she did her voice sounded melodically cheerful. "Shuichi, it's lovely to hear from you! Was there anything you wanted some help with?" Unlike last time, she wasn't offering therapy directly. Did she think he'd react badly if she did?

If so, he had to admit she had a point. "Yes, um, actually..." Shuichi searched for the right words, before just deciding to try and be casual about it. "You mentioned therapy before, and I was wondering if that would still be okay with you?" He asked about it like he was imposing on her by even making her listen to his voice.

There was a brief sound like the rustling of papers, and then Ms. Kokaki spoke up once more, clearly excited. "Of course! I'm absolutely here for you in any way I can be. So! Did you want to do a session right now?" That was what Shuichi had in mind, but it just occurred to him that she might be busy. Still, he made a weak 'uh huh' kind of sound, which she understood as an affirmation. "Wonderful! Now tell me, how have things been at your new residence?"

It took a few seconds for Shuichi to think of what to say in response. "Good?" The rising intonation definitely marked it as a question. "I'm settling in." The addition was a little more firm, but still a bit lacking in content.

If Ms. Kokaki didn't like that, she didn't say so. "I'm glad to hear that, it's important when moving into a new space to find a way to make it feel like home." Shuichi agreed with that, thinking of what he'd done to the room he was in. "Now, do you mind if we discuss Hayashi at all?"

"No, I don't really mind," Shuichi said, though there was a strange energy in his voice that hadn't been there before. "But I don't really care about him."

"Would you like to elaborate?" she asked.

'No, I wouldn't.' But Shuichi swallowed that reply, and forced himself to choke out something else. "I feel like I know enough about him already." He knew it would just invite more questions.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean, he was a Danganronpa fan," Shuichi answered, having a harder time hiding the anger and cynicism creeping into his voice. "He thought it would be fun to be on the show. It sounded like he was excited at the chance that I might be a killer. Then he ended, and I started. Stuck into the role he'd wanted for me." The more Shuichi talked, the more numb he started to feel, in his brain. These were feelings he'd never spoken aloud.

"You have every right to be angry with him," Ms. Kokaki said back, and Shuichi was surprised to hear she sounded upset. "I'm guessing you saw footage of him, at the end of the show?"

"Well," Shuichi said, now feeling embarrassed for having brought it up, starting to backpedal, "Yes, but-"

"But nothing," the therapist said, her tone firm. "Shuichi, you've been through more trauma in your life than nearly any adult on the planet. You're living in the room of the person who made you go through it all. It's more than okay to be angry. And it's important to be honest with yourself about those feelings. Pretending you're okay when you aren't doesn't help anyone."

Even though he knew she couldn't see him, Shuichi found himself nodding his head. It was more of a polite gesture than anything else. They were...nice words. But they were also just words. Whether he could actually make them stick in his head, whether they'd ever really mean anything to him, he didn't know. "I appreciate that," he finally said aloud, feeling it was the right thing to tell her.

Realizing that he wanted to change topics, Ms. Kokaki asked, "How about Hayashi's mother? Has she been treating you well?"

Feeling bad for even having to think before saying anything, Shuichi replied, "Yes, yes she's been amazing." That was an overstatement, and he didn't think the trained therapist missed that.

"Really? What do you two do together?"

"Um," Shuichi stammered, searching his brain for something to say. "Well, we...talk? Sometimes?"

"Talking is good," Ms. Kokaki said, some humor coming into her tone. "But it sounds like you wish you knew her better." There wasn't anything he could say to that, she was absolutely right. "Before we have another session, I want you to try and really have a conversation with her, okay? I know you can do that." The weird thing was, she sounded so sure of herself, Shuichi actually felt like he believed her.

The session lasted a little over an hour, and even then he felt bad near the end for taking up so much of her time. When he said something to that effect, she made clear he had nothing to apologize for. They agreed to talk again in a few days, and that was that.

Starting to feel hungry, Shuichi left his room to make dinner, only to see that Ran was already there heating up some leftover ramen. "Want some?" she asked, without turning to look at him.

"Yes, please." For just a second, Shuichi could have sworn he heard a snort of laughter from her, but when Ran turned around her face didn't look anything but tired. They ate the food together in silence, until Shuichi felt he had to say something, since he'd promised Ms. Kokaki he'd try. "I hope I wasn't too loud on the phone..."

She looked at him, and Shuichi couldn't decipher what she was feeling at all. His detective abilities were useless. "You were on the phone?" she eventually replied.

"Y-yeah," Shuichi said, happy at least to have not bothered her. "I was given the number of a therapist, and I decided..."

The sentence was left hanging, unfinished. If that bothered Ran, she didn't show it. All she did was nod her head. "That's good."

Apparently, that was what she had to say on the matter.

Not wanting the burgeoning talk to end there, Shuichi tried to think of something to say, no matter how mundane. "What is it you do for a living?" is what he ended up blurting out.

Ran blinked, clearly not having expected that question. She cursed under her breath before saying, "I forgot that you didn't know...I'm a nurse, at a nearby hospital."

That was...something. It was something. Now, Shuichi knew what she did, where she worked.

The question she threw back at him came out of nowhere. "Did he...I heard you saw a tape, something Hayashi recorded before he died." Shuichi knew what she meant, and nodded his head, feeling strangely light headed all of a sudden. "Did he say anything about me?" There was something...raw, in her voice. Vulnerable. Pleading.

Never in a million years would Shuichi have expected it to make him so angry. "No." Shuichi said, his voice hard and flat. "He didn't. All I heard him say was that he wanted me to be the first Ultimate Detective to kill someone."

For just a second, Shuichi saw tears in Ran's eyes, and then she was gone. Before he could apologize, before he could think of anything to say, she was up from the table, taking her bowl to the sink and grabbing her purse. "I'll be late for work." Her voice sounded remarkably similar to Shuichi's own. Just as dead. Just as uncaring. Shuichi watched her leave and hated himself more with every step she took.

After finding that photo in the bathroom, Himiko was determined to discover everything she could about Aini.

That was easier said than done.

Whenever she was left alone in the house, Himiko would sacrifice half her napping time to search the house.

Well, anything in the house that wasn't too tall for her to reach.

After three days of that, and the weekend far approaching, the lack of results were making Himiko want to give up. She missed getting eight hours of napping, instead of four.

There was still another option though: ask one of the moms!

Normally, if Himiko needed anything, she went to Short Mom. But she remembered that look on Short Mom's face in the photo, and decided that wasn't a good idea.

So, one day, after Tall Mom got home first, Himiko rushed up to her, asking, "Mom, I've got a question!"

She looked surprised to hear Himiko say that. "Go ahead, Himiko, I'm happy to answer it for you, if I can." Tall Mom was smiling when she talked, which she didn't do often. It made Himiko really believe that she was a teacher.

Taking a big breath, Himiko just spat out her questions. "What was Aini like?! Why don't you and Momma talk about her?"

The reaction Tall Mom had was immediate. Her eyes widened, her mouth fell open, a hand clutching her chest as if she was scared. "A-Aini?" Tall Mom almost sounded scared, saying that name.

Nodding her head, Himiko refused to relent. "Yeah! She was your daughter before I was, but you never talk about her. I don't get it, nyeh." Her energy was starting to wind down, as it was want to do after an outburst.

After taking a few deep breaths, Tall Mom told her, "Himiko...I understand why you're curious. But please, understand that we..." She stopped talking, frowning as it looked to Himiko like she wasn't sure what words to use. "...right now, we don't want to talk about her." Now Himiko was the one frowning, this wasn't what she'd wanted at all. But then Tall Mom leaned down and kissed her forehead, and that was nice. "I promise we can tell you more about her later, but not now. And please...don't mention her in front of your Momma."

There was something rough and heavy in Tall Mom's voice, something that reminded Himiko of the harder parts of what she'd been through recently. Nodding her head, she told Tall Mom, "Okay..."

Then Tall Mom was hugging her tightly, like she was afraid Himiko was going somewhere. "Himiko...you're such a good daughter. We love you so much. Thank you for coming to live with us..." She wasn't crying, but she wasn't far from it either.

Trying not to start bawling herself, Himiko hugged her back. "I love you too, Mom." Never before had that name felt so right coming from her mouth.

Days later, Maki still didn't know how successful her talk with Matsuko had been. When they were alone, she had started calling her by her real name, which was something. But it was obvious she hadn't told anyone else in the family, either.

(Of course she hadn't. She's looking out for them. Protecting them from me.)

Or, Maki considered, Matsuko was just a coward.

Either way, the atmosphere in the home was starting to get suffocating. The family's father and kids were starting to get more and more tense about how Maki was acting. It was making her want to be colder, want to stand out more. It was her worst impulse, really. When other people got scared of her, she wanted to act scarier.

It had been a week since she'd come to live there, and already it felt like a mistake.

After Takashi got home from work that afternoon, he and Matsuko got dressed in what Maki guessed was their 'going out' clothes. "Well, kids, Mom and I are going shopping!" Takashi told them after calling them all to the front of the house. Looking hesitantly at Maki, he explained to the younger kids, "I know it's been a while since Marika was here, but she's still in charge while we're gone." Noboru pouted at that, it seemed he'd been the responsible big sibling after Marika left.

(Died. Marika didn't just leave, she's dead. Now, they have me instead.)

Maki must have been glowering, because Takashi looked intimidated, and Matsuko mouthed 'I'm sorry' before they left.

Looking down at the two kids she was supposed to be taking care of, Maki noticed that Noboru wasn't meeting her eyes. "What did you two want to do?" Maki asked, trying her best not to sound hostile.

At the very least, young Nonoko didn't seem to mind Maki. "Let's watch cartoons!" The level to which she sounded excited for such a thing was so strange to Maki. Had she ever been that excited, about anything?

(No, of course I haven't. There was never anything to be excited about.)

That was a lie, though. Kaito had made her excited. Even if she never showed it.

"Mari, are you 'kay?" Nonoko asked, clearly concerned, and Maki realized she'd just been standing there, in her own head again. Who was she becoming, Shuichi?

Putting on a smile that she knew wouldn't look real, Maki told her, "Yeah, I'm fine. Let's go sit down in the living room." To Maki's utter confusion, the young girl squealed with excitement.

Running into the living room, she was shouting, "Cartoons! Cartoons! Cartoons!"

Maki's confusion cleared up a little when Noboru spoke up, his eyes on the floor, "We're not supposed to watch cartoons on weekdays. You never let us do that before." Something in his words made Maki feel like she was challenging him.

Deciding to ignore it, Maki walked to follow Nonoko, only saying back, "Well, I just did." After turning on the television, Maki handed the remote to Nonoko, letting her pick out what to have on. The little girl flipped through the channels before finding a magical girl show clearly made for kids her age, with bright colors and no moral complexity.

In a weird way, Maki envied the characters in that show. They got to be written into an easy, simple life. Black and white. Good and evil.

(I was written into hell.)

She didn't think about her status as a fictional character very often. It wasn't like there was anything Maki could do about it, after all.

While Nonoko sat too close to the TV, Noboru sat next to Maki on the couch, looking over at his little sister. "My friend at school said you're not really Marika."

Maki didn't know what to say to that.

"He said...Marika's dead. All the kids who go on that show die. Then they put someone fake in their bodies, like a manga character or something." It was strange. The young teenager didn't sound angry. If anything, Maki just heard confusion.

After a moment of thought, Maki decided to be honest with him. "Your friend is right, mostly. My name is Maki Harukawa." The words hung in the air, their weight oppressive.

Noboru licked his lips, and Maki felt sure the kid was nervous now. "He also said...you kill people."

The words that Maki hadn't said since coming to this home rang loud in her mind.

(Do you want to die?)

For some reason, now it was Maki who felt awkward. "I remember killing people." Out of the corner of her eye, Maki saw Noboru stiffen, but she kept looking at the colorful cartoon as she talked. "I remember being raised in an orphanage. I remember being trained in how to be an assassin. I remember working. But none of those memories are real. They're just backstory, made up for the show. I never...I haven't actually killed anyone."

A hostage. A crossbow. A deadly poison.

(Not for lack of trying.)

The teen was silent, for a while. Unable to take it anymore, Maki looked at him.

Noboru was crying, quietly. No sobs, no wails, just tears running down his face.

(Why. Why?! What sick writer made me into an assassin who still cares about people?!)

Looking at that sight, Maki made a silent promise to herself. If she ever met the person who wrote her backstory, who made her into this, they wouldn't survive the encounter.

That was a possible future, however. Then was then. Her present. Her responsibility.

Those parents had left her in charge. That meant something to Maki. Feeling unsure of herself, Maki lifted an arm and put it around the boy's neck, pulling him closer to her for a half-hug. Now she could feel him crying. "W-what are you doing?" he whispered through the tears. Just feet away, Nonoko was still unaware of all of this. "You're not my s-s-sister..."

It would have been wonderful if those words didn't stab into Maki's heart like a well-placed dagger through the ribs. "I'm not," Maki admitted. "But I'm here. Marika isn't." It wasn't a pleasant truth, but Maki thought he was old enough to handle it. "Tell me about her. I don't...know much." She'd read a diary, and there was the girly room decor.

But that wasn't the same as hearing from someone firsthand. "S-s-she was really nice." He was still crying, so Maki leaned against him a little, hoping that would help. "Mari had a lot of friends, and, and, and she always helped us when we asked." (Sounds like a pushover.) "The only thing she'd, the only time she'd tell us no is when it went against what Mom and Dad told her." The tears were starting to slow down now, as he talked more about the sister he'd never see again.

"Was there anything you didn't like about her?" Maki didn't know why she asked that. Was there any good response he could give her?

Strangely enough, the kid went for it. It took him a bit to think of what to say, but by then he'd completely dried his eyes. "Um, well, I don't think she was very happy..." That did not track with anything Maki knew of her, and she looked down to raise an eyebrow at Noboru. "Really!" he insisted, clearly eager to be believed. "Sometimes, I'd hear her crying in her room. But when I'd ask her about it later, she'd pretend it never happened."

(What does that mean? What could this perfect girl with her perfect family and her perfect life have been sad about?)

The credits were rolling on the show Nonoko had picked out, so Maki got up and snatched the remote from her hands. "Hey!" the little girl cried, indignant.

As if something like that could sway Maki Harukawa. "You watched your show, now your brother gets to pick." Her tone brooked no arguments. She handed the device over to Noboru, who looked at it, confused. "Pick something or I'm putting on something educational," Maki threatened, and the teenager quickly found some anime he apparently liked.

They watched in silence as Nonoko disappeared for a few minutes, coming back with crayons and a coloring book. "Thanks," Noboru said, out of nowhere. "You...don't have to do this, you know?" He sounded older than before. Maybe realizing you were really the oldest sibling after all did that to you, Maki wondered.

It was on commercial, so Maki grabbed the kid's head and made him make eye contact with her. "As long as I'm living here, it's my job to keep you safe. I'm not going to lie to you. I'm not going to sugarcoat things for you." She didn't ask anything of him in return. (Why would I? There isn't anything he can do for me anyway.)

Then, the damn kid smiled, and he whispered, "You're a pretty cool big sis, Maki."

That strange feeling she'd had when she talked to Matsuko came back, only so much stronger.

After Noboru's anime ended, Maki made them a simple dinner then put on a kid's movie. By the time it ended, it was getting late, but their parents hadn't come back yet. Nonoko was getting drowsy, and Maki carried her to the little girl's bedroom, putting her in bed and tucking her in. No bedtime story was needed, Nonoko was snoring before Maki had finished moving the blanket.

"What did you want to do now?" Noboru asked after she left the girl's room.

Maki narrowed her eyes. "What you're going to do is go to bed."

The teen frowned. "But I'm not tired."

"Do you want to die?" The words didn't have the desired effect. Noboru laughed at them. That...Maki didn't know what to do. "If you go to bed, I'll help you play a violent video game behind your parents' back," Maki said, trying to think quickly.

"Deal."

Maki made sure he followed through with this part, then headed back to the living room just in time to see Matsuko and Takashi coming through the front door. "Kids in bed?" the man asked, taking off his coat to hang on a nearby hook.

Nodding her head seriously, Maki told them, "Yes. I'm going to bed too." Takashi accepted that and headed off to the parent's bedroom, leaving Maki alone with Matsuko. "Noboru knows."

The woman gasped. "He does?! Did...how did he?" Maki gave a brief rundown of how the night went, cutting out the parts about them watching any cartoons. When it was finished, Matsuko looked a lot more relaxed. "That was sweet of you, Maki." Then, she gave Maki a tight hug, one that lingered longer than Maki would have expected. "Go do what you said you'd do, you need your rest."

Feeling weirdly floaty, Maki didn't argue, heading to Marika's room to settle in for the night.

Why did these people make her feel this way? Happy and sad and anxious and comfortable, all at the same time.

As Maki drifted off to sleep, she wondered if maybe, just maybe, this whole thing could work out.