"Um, hello? Ms. Kokaki?"

"Kaede, I'm so glad you called! Are you ready to begin?"

She looked around the room. Ran had gone to work early to give her privacy, and Shuichi was wearing headphones in the next room.

Taking a deep breath, Kaede told Ms. Kokaki, "Yes."

There was a long pause.

"Um...so...where do we start, exactly?"

The therapist laughed. "We can start wherever you want to, but since you're asking me, why don't we just start with how you've been feeling lately?"

The thrill of Shuichi's smiling face.

The dread of Rantaro's dead body.

The joy of making music again.

The secret guilt eating Kaede from the inside.

"...mostly good?" Kaede finally said.

"That's better than mostly bad," Ms. Kokaki said, and Kaede took hold of that idea like a drowning person snatching a life-preserver.

That's right, things are okay, I have nothing to complain about. Everything is fine, I'm happy, I should stay positive. "Yeah! I should focus on the silver lining. I mean, I'm alive, right?"

"Speaking of," the therapist started, "what are your thoughts on that?"

There wasn't a need for Ms. Kokaki to clarify what she meant.

Kaede thought about what she could say. "I...try not to think about it." In point of fact, whenever the topic of that, or her fictional nature, or just what had happened after she died came up, Kaede's mind immediately swerved onto a different lane.

She told Ms. Kokaki about that.

While Kaede waited for a reply, she looked up at the ceiling fan, spinning in place. Never going anywhere.

"You've been through something unique, Kaede. In a very real way, only your friends Kaito and Tenko know what it's like to die and come back in a different body. Because of that, I'm not going to presume anything. I just want to hear your perspective. This is a space where you can think about what happened, and talk about it, without anyone judging you for it."

For some reason, looking at the fan was starting to stress Kaede out, so she closed her eyes as she tried to think. She's right. Just a little break from avoiding it. I can do that.

"Have you seen my execution?" She didn't know what answer would be better to hear.

"No, though I've read a description to prepare myself for your appointment. Did you watch it?"

Kaede's mouth was suddenly very dry. "Yes," she whispered. "I started to, anyway, the first night."

It had been hard to find, actually. After how the season had ended, all the official clips of the executions were pulled from the internet, and attempts by fans to reupload them had been hit with reports for showing violent crimes.

But she'd managed to find one video that hadn't been purged, buried on some image board. Kaede could still remember how it felt, looking at the laptop screen with clammy hands clenching the bedsheet.

She hadn't made it past the metal collar being chained to her neck as it pulled her into the execution chamber.

For the first time, there was something stern in Ms. Kokaki's voice. "Kaede, for the sake of your mental health, I highly discourage trying to watch that video again."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Don't ma'am me. I'm not that much older than you are," Ms. Kokaki told her. The serious side was gone, and Kaede's therapist pulled off being faux-annoyed quite well. "Now, aside from avoidance, what are some other coping mechanisms you've noticed yourself using?"

It was a good first session. They didn't really get into solutions, but it felt good to share everything with someone.

And seriously, Kaede shared everything.

What it felt like, dying for other people's entertainment. The feelings she'd been having towards Shuichi. What she'd been hiding from them.

But even without being told what she should do, Kaede finished the call and felt a strange resolve take shape inside her. I can't put it off anymore.

She marched out of Ran's room and knocked on Shuichi's door.

"O-one second!" they called, and a few seconds later the door was open and Shuichi was standing there. "Oh, Kaede! I must have lost track of time. How did your first session go?" Before she could answer, they added, "N-not that you have to tell me what you talked about! In fact, you probably shouldn't, that's not-"

Kaede had found that kissing Shuichi when they were mid-ramble was a great way to create an opening in the conversation and it had the benefit of making them blush.

While Shuichi was recovering from the peck on their lips, Kaede told them, "It went pretty good, and I'm ready to keep doing it." Before Shuichi could say any of the positive, affirming things she knew were coming, Kaede added in, "Shuichi, I need to tell you something important."

Without a word, Shuichi backed away, letting Kaede into their room.

They sat together on the bed, a lot closer than they would have felt comfortable with when Kaede first came back to life.

She looked down at Shuichi's face, and the words she had to say suddenly felt too heavy, there was no way she could drag them out of her throat.

Luckily, Shuichi spoke up first. "I'm ready, Kaede. I can handle it."

That helped...but it still took almost a full minute for Kaede to prepare herself.

"I'm sorry." Judging by the confused look Shuichi was giving her, they didn't understand what she was apologizing for. "Shuichi, I can't...I don't know how you stand to be around me. I betrayed you. I took a trap you made to solve a mystery, and I turned it into a murder weapon!"

"But you didn't kill anyone!" Shuichi left their meekness behind. They always got more confident when they were standing up for someone else.

This time, though, Shuichi was fighting for someone who didn't deserve it.

"That doesn't matter!" The words were wet in Kaede's mouth, just like the tears spilling down her cheeks. "Shuichi, I took advantage of you, and I keep taking advantage of you! I tried to kill someone, and you did everything you could to protect me. I died for my crime, and you brought me back. You've given me a place to live, and how did I repay you? I've been walking all over you, using you, touching you, I'm such a terrible person."

She could see that Shuichi still didn't get it. They were on the brink of crying, but not because they knew what she really was. I'm unclean. I deserve everything that happened to me, and more. I'm-

This time, Shuichi was the one who shut her up with a kiss.

Their hands were on her face, pulling it towards theirs, even as they were both crying.

By the time the kiss ended, Kaede was so stunned that her internal parade of shame had paused.

Which seemed to be exactly what Shuichi was hoping for. "Kaede, I forgive you. You're...you aren't a terrible person. What you did was bad, but..." It was obvious they were going to start defending what she did, but stopped themselves. "All the stuff that happened, I forgave you for that a long time ago.

"And what's happening now? Kaede, you're not manipulating me into being into liking you." Their pale cheeks turned pink, but they kept talking through their blush. "You're...more assertive than I usually am. But I like that! If you did something I wasn't comfortable with, I'd let you know."

There were so many objections Kaede wanted to raise.

You're just saying that. You can't really have forgiven me, and if you did, I don't deserve your forgiveness. You say you'd let me know if I passed a line, but would you? I'm sure if you did, I'd just push back, and-

But in a sudden flash of clarity, Kaede realized something. If I tell Shuichi they're wrong, that they don't understand, that I understand the situation better than they do...isn't that talking over them? Manipulating them? Ignoring their opinion?

It was still a hard pill to swallow.

"Okay." It was a hard syllable to say, but Kaede managed it anyway. "But please, please, I want you to look out for me. Make sure I don't try anything like that ever again."

Shuichi wiped away her tears with the sleeve of their shirt. "I promise I'll be there for you every step of the way, as long as you'll be here for me." Kaede nodded to that, and they kissed each other.

Neither took the lead this time. Instead, it was a joining in the middle, an expression of their equality in affection.

When they pulled away, Kaede felt...better.

Not good. She didn't know if she'd ever feel good with herself ever again. But the self-hatred was muted, and her adoration for the person in front of her was so much stronger.

"So..." Kaede said, trying to process what they'd just done. "Are we together now? Officially, I mean."

Since the kissing had started, they'd avoided that subject altogether, just leaving it an unexplored territory between them.

All that confidence that Shuich had before up and disappeared. "Um, I mean, if you want to...yes?"

Kaede laughed. "Okay, so we're a couple now. I'm your girlfriend. But what should I call you?"

It looked very much like Shuichi wanted their hat back to hide under. "I-I think 'partner' works for me?"

"Well then, what does my partner want to do? We've got another few hours with Ran gone, after all." Shuichi actually squeaked at that question, their face gone completely scarlet. "How about...you just let me know if you want me to stop?"

Shuichi nodded, and Kaede indulged herself, checking in periodically to make sure she wasn't going farther than Shuichi was okay with.

It was a stimulating evening, to say the least.

"Himiko, I like you."

It came out of nowhere.

There was no inciting incident, no reason for it to happen.

Tenko just couldn't hold it in any longer, as she sat at the foot of Himiko's bed while the redhead worked on math homework.

Without even looking up from her school papers, Himiko just muttered. "Nyeh...I already knew that."

(Of course you do, it isn't like I hid it very well.)

Well, she'd said it. Tenko must have known this was what was coming next.

"I understand..." Tenko said, looking at the floor, and pressing her index fingers together. "If you want me to leave you alone now, I..."

Now Himiko was looking at her.

With confusion. "Nyeh? Tenko?"

"I'm sorry," Tenko apologized. It was long overdue. "I was obvious about how I felt about you, and I kept chasing after you, even when you made it clear you didn't feel the same way about me. That's why...I can talk to that prosecutor, I can find somewhere else to live, where I'm not bothering you."

"You being here doesn't bother me!"

Tenko could count the number of times she'd heard Himiko shout on one hand. She stared at the mage, perplexed.

That courage had retreated, and now Himiko was hiding her face under her witch's hat. "...don't put words in my mouth. They taste bad." Tenko didn't get what was going on, but luckily, Himiko spelled it out for her. "...I never said I didn't like you back."

There was no way Tenko heard that right.

But despite all logic, hope started to rise inside her. "R-really?"

"...when you died, it hurt. A lot." It was the first time they'd talked about Tenko's death since she had come back. "I was mad at you, and you'd been annoying, but you also..." Even though Tenko couldn't see Himiko's eyes, she was pretty sure the girl was crying. "When you were gone, I realized how nice you'd been. And that...I missed you."

It was hard for Tenko to not start bawling hearing that. "Yeah? You like me?"

She hadn't expected Himiko to shrug. "Nyeh, I don't know. That stuff's all...fuzzy." Tenko nodded. She didn't...entirely get what Himiko meant, but she also sort of did? It felt very Himiko. "I like some things about you. There are other things I don't like. But I'm open to...trying it out."

That was extremely promising. Tenko had some questions, though. "Can you tell me what things I did that bothered you?"

"You're waaaaaay too pushy."

The speed at which Himiko came up with that was a little disheartening.

"You kept following me around, and when I told you to go away, you didn't. You never actually told me how you felt, but made it obvious while you were doing things for me. That felt kind of manipulative, nyeh..."

It looked like she'd finally got them all out, when Himiko added one more. "Too much praise. It kind of...made me feel bad. You didn't treat me like a person. I am a person, Tenko. I'm not perfect."

Taking a deep breath, Tenko tried not to freak out, and take that all as advice instead.

"So," she started, thinking it through. "I should be less pushy, listen to what you want me to do, tell you how I feel, and not...say as many nice things about you?" As she said them, a few of those sounded a little...obvious.

"Nyeh, good enough." She looked at Tenko, eyes still a little bleary, as if she was expecting something. "What about me?"

What...what did Tenko not like about Himiko?

That was...honestly hard. To come up with, and to say out loud.

But clearly, it was important to Himiko, so she'd do it. "Well, um...sometimes it feels like you just expect other people to do things for you? And I'll do anything for you! But, uh, it just sometimes seems like it doesn't mean anything to you. You just think it's normal for everyone to do what you want."

Himiko didn't look mad hearing that, at least. "Yeah, that's true." Himiko yawned, then asked, "So, did you want to go on a date?"

"Yes!" Tenko couldn't believe Himiko was asking her out! But after exclaiming like that, Tenko realized that she might have come off as too desperate. Coughing, Tenko tried again. "Yes, I would like that a lot."

Tenko realized there was a faint blush to Himiko's cheeks. "Good." Then, she focused on her homework again. "But not until after I get my casts off, nyeh."

There was no problem there for Tenko.

She'd waited so long for this to happen.

It wouldn't kill her again to wait another couple weeks.

"Hey, Maki Roll! Could you take a look at-"

What Kaito saw inside Maki's room stopped him dead in his tracks.

He'd only come in to ask if she thought the shirt he'd ordered online looked manly on him.

Hell, he had even done like Maki asked and sent her a message letting her know he was coming into her room before he did.

When he opened the door, Kaito had thought he might be walking in on her in bed, or doing homework, or some other mundane crap like that.

What he could never have guessed was that he would find Maki at her desk, playing a video game, with a headset on, and talking to the screen.

"..." Maki stopped talking, but she didn't turn to look at him. "Shut the door."

Oh, she was doing her angry voice.

That just made Kaito want to laugh. What was this?

Kaito approached as Maki said to whoever she was talking to, "That's just my roommate. He's a very loud idiot."

Once he was looking over Maki's shoulder, he could see she wasn't just playing a game. Part of her screen was showing that, but other parts were showing a bunch of comments, and more kept showing up. There were other windows open in the corner, but the only one he could understand was one that was showing Maki. Kaito could even make himself out over her shoulder.

"So...are you the big guy?" Kaito asked, pointing to the character in the center of the gaming part of the screen.

Said 'big guy' was scary looking, and carrying a chainsaw. There were a bunch of regular looking people running away in the distance, and it looked like the scary guy was chasing them.

Maki breathed in through her nose, and Kaito actually felt a twinge of regret. He was annoying her, wasn't he? "Yes, I'm the big guy."

In the area where people were leaving comments, Kaito looked and read a few of them out loud, "'wow worst kaito ive ever seen' 'who tf is this guy' 'Sorry guys, I had work, what did I miss?' 'take off your shirt slut' What? I'm gonna kill that bastard!"

Kaito had raised his fist, as if to punch the screen, but Maki told him, "Don't worry, Ayumu has it covered." The name was familiar...wasn't that Maki's new friend at school? "There, see, the comment is gone. They got banned."

"I don't know what that means, but if you think it's okay..." Slowly, Kaito was starting to put things together. "So...are all these people watching us? And you playing the game? And they're leaving those comments?"

There was a mighty Maki sigh. "Yes, Kaito. It's called 'streaming', and you're dividing my concentration. I might lose this game because of you."

He let out a laugh. "Like hell! Maki, you're going to win and we both know it."

Sure enough, a few minutes later Maki had done whatever she was trying to do, and there was a victory screen. "Okay guys, I need to kick this idiot out-"

"No! Keep playing, this is fun!"

Maki Roll grunted, but she did start a new game.

The thing was, Kaito wasn't being entirely honest in his motives. If she had to sit there playing the game, then that meant that they could finally talk, and she couldn't dodge him.

"So, do these people all know who you are?"

As far as Kaito knew, there was no rule against telling people who they really were. Still, it didn't seem like a very Maki thing to do.

Maki smiled, and Kaito was happy to see it. "Most people just think I'm a cosplayer, but some of them are starting to catch on." She focused on her game, and didn't say anything for a little bit, but Kaito could still tell she was in a better mood.

"I told Ayumu about how I'd been feeling. Too...tense. I needed to do something, but I didn't want to...you know. She brought up games, then after we played together a few times, she recommended streaming. I've got the money from the settlement, and she knows how to make all this stuff work."

She was talking around some things, but Kaito could understand why, considering there was an audience.

As the Ultimate Assassin, Maki was made to kill. Kaito wasn't about to pretend that wasn't the case. She'd chosen to stop, but he could understand why a normal life wasn't enough to keep her drive for action under control.

"That's a great idea!" Kaito said, grinning. Looking into the webcam, or what he was pretty sure was the webcam, Kaito called out, "Hey, Ayumu! Thanks for helping Maki Roll! I owe you one!"

The comments were less focused on the game now.

'Wow, this dude is a really good actor.'

'are we like...sure this isn't kaito?'

' amcy123422 what are you, an idiot? kaito's fucking dead'

Let them talk. Kaito didn't care.

Anyway, that was enough talk about video games.

"Maki, why have you been avoiding me?"

"I haven't," she lied.

"Bullshit!" Kaito shot back. "Maki, I know it's hard-"

"Hard?" It was rare for her voice to get that menacing. "You 'know' that it was 'hard'? Fine, Kaito, let's have this conversation."

Even Kaito had to feel at least a little fear at that. Not for his own safety...but for Maki's.

Still, this had to get done. There was no point in running from it.

"Maki, you said a lot of stuff before I died, and I know that wasn't easy. Especially for you."

"..."

"Then I came back, and you hugged me. You were crying, Maki Roll. You clung to me while Shuichi was explaining stuff to us. Then we get here and...you don't even want to see me."

"It hurts."

Two simple words. And not ones Kaito was surprised to hear.

"It's not just that you're...here. I'm not an idiot, Kaito. I told you I loved you, and I know that you don't love me back. I just need space to get used to that."

She talked about it like it was obvious, something everyone could see.

It made Kaito feel like shit. He wasn't angry, he was just...sad.

Kaito wasn't sad very often.

"This is my fault," he muttered, running a hand through his unruly hair. "Maki, I love you."

"Don't say that." Maki's eyes were still on the screen, she was playing her game, but Kaito could see tears welling up in the corners of her eyes. The comments were going wild. "Do not tell me that when you don't mean it."

Okay, now Kaito was getting angry. "Stop screwing around! I'm Kaito Momota! Do you think I'm gonna say something I don't mean?! I love you, Maki Roll."

The tears never fell. Maki wiped them away before they could. "...then why? Why didn't you say it back?" Maki's voice was suddenly very small.

This...was the part Kaito had been afraid about talking about. "Because I'm...I don't know. I love you. I want to spend my life with you. But I don't..." He suddenly realized that doing this in front of an audience was kind of a bad idea. "There's stuff guys are supposed to want to do with girls they love. But I don't. I don't think about that stuff at all."

There. He'd said it.

Maki looked...perplexed. "So...you're asexual?"

"What's that?" Kaito asked, confused. The word rang a distant bell in the science parts of his brain, something he'd learned when cramming for astronaut tests, but he forgot what it meant.

She'd won another game, and Maki took a second to pry her hands from the keyboard and pinch the bridge of her nose. "I'll give you a lecture on it later. We can cover Shuichi's stuff then too."

Kaito had no clue what she meant by that, but he was open to learning whatever.

What was more important was that Maki didn't look disappointed.

"Kaito, you're an idiot." She said it fondly, just the way he liked it. "I'm not very interested in that stuff either. I'm fine if we never..." The assassin actually blushed at the idea of what they were talking around. "...do any of that."

Words could not describe how relieved Kaito was to hear that. "That's awesome! So...did you want to be my girlfriend?"

Maki rolled her eyes. "Fine."

Yes! Mission accomplished! Maki was his girlfriend!

"Now get out of my room. I'm playing Rainbow Six next, and I can't have you distracting me for that."

He had no clue what those words meant, but he didn't care. Waving goodbye to the audience, Kaito said, "Later!" Then, he gave Maki a small smile. "Night. Love you."

"Love you too."

Kaito left the room with a skip in his step.