The Power of Three
Chapter Eight: A Remedy to Cure All Ills, Part One
Arthur sat at the table in his chambers, watching with irritation as Merlin wore a rut in his floor, pacing back and forth endlessly - this had been going on for the last ten minutes.
Finally, Arthur slammed his palms down on the table, causing Merlin to jump and cease his incessant pacing. "Enough!" the prince growled.
Merlin blinked, wide-eyed in confusion, at Arthur's sudden outburst. "What?"
"Stop pacing," Arthur clarified, a dangerous edge to his voice.
"Oh, right. Sorry." Merlin plopped down across from Arthur.
Everything had been going well between them since that day, weeks ago, when Merlin had shown Arthur a glimpse of his magic. They'd fallen back into their usual bickering and name-calling, but there was more respect in Arthur's eyes for his servant than there had been before. Arthur didn't treat Merlin like a friend in the way Morgana did, but Merlin was actually relieved about that. He didn't think he could handle Arthur discovering his magic and then becoming nice all in one fortnight. He might just keel over from shock.
Merlin had been busy with Arthur, as the prince had been more demanding than ever when it came to Merlin training for the battlefield. It was like now that he knew his servant was capable of strength in one way, there was no excuse for Merin not to be strong physically, either. It was exhausting and painful, and Merlin hated it, and maybe that's why Arthur seemed to enjoy it so much. Because of these training sessions and the general demand of all of his duties now that he was fully healed from being poisoned, Merlin rarely had time to sit down and talk with Morgana anymore. The lady herself had been busy with matters of the court. Still, she always flashed him a smile and paused to talk to him when they passed in the corridor.
Perhaps this was why Merlin felt so guilty when he found out that she had fallen asleep one night and not woken again the next morning, suspended in a death-like sleep that there was apparently no cure for, according to Gaius. If he had only taken the time to really stop and talk to her, made time for their once-usual evening chats, then maybe he would have noticed something different about her, something to indicate that she was growing ill. Gaius said that was poppycock, that the king and Arthur spent much more time around her and that they knew her better, but Merlin wasn't convinced. In his mind, he should have been able to prevent the woman who had fast become one of his dearest friends from succumbing to this inflammation of the brain.
Gaius had also said that Merlin's magic wouldn't be able to cure it. He'd only been able to heal Gwen's father so easily because it was a sickness born of magic. "It's a natural illness, and it must be treated by natural means," he had insisted, not letting Merlin into the sickroom. "It's not going to do any good for you to see her this way," the old man had said gently. "And you have your duties to attend to. I will let you know if she worsens."
Just that evening, that news had come - Morgana was slipping further away. Arthur had ended training early, retiring to his chambers to brood and sulk, and Merlin had followed him despite Arthur's insisting he wanted to be alone. Arthur hadn't pressed the matter, so here they now were, an electric charge of fear crackling in the air between them.
Merlin, needing something to do with his body now that he wasn't pacing, started tapping his fingers distractedly on the table. Arthur heaved an irritated sigh and almost jumped to his feet, taking up Merlin's previous effort to pace a hole in the stone floor.
Merlin watched him moodily for a few moments before commenting dryly, "I see why you told me to stop. It's really annoying."
Arthur ignored him, continuing to pace until he was getting on his own nerves, then he flopped down into a chair and asked the question that had been burning on his mind all day, "Are you sure there's nothing you can do for Morgana?"
Merlin bit his lip. "Gaius says that magic won't easily cure a natural disease, especially since I'm so untrained in healing magic."
"Do you think he's right?" A month ago, Arthur wouldn't even have considered asking for Merlin's opinion, but things had changed enough that he had begun to see the value in his servant's opinions, especially regarding magic. Of course, the prince always made sure that he had the final say.
Merlin stopped tapping his fingers on the table and studied them like they might have the answer that evaded him. He eventually hedged, "I think he knows a lot about healing and magic. But it feels so wrong not to try. After all Morgana has done for me, I -"
He broke off suddenly, face going red. He clamped his hands together on top of the table so tightly that his knuckles went white.
Arthur glared at his servant suspiciously. "And just what has Morgana done for you, Merlin?" Merlin hesitated, but Arthur drilled him with a fierce look that guaranteed the servant wasn't getting out of this one. Arthur had avoided the subject of the strange interactions he'd noticed between his father's ward and the servant in light of everything that had happened recently, especially after noticing that the two hadn't been palling around so much as of late. This turn of conversation was almost a reprieve from the gnawing worry that had been consuming him since Morgana fell ill.
When Merlin finally spoke, his voice was apologetic. "With you finding out, and then everything else going on with Lancelot, and all the training, I guess I forgot to mention … Morgana knows about me, too."
Irritation welled up inside the prince. "She knows about your magic, too?"
Merlin nodded.
Arthur let out an angry laugh, rose to his feet again, and resumed pacing. "You are really bad at keeping your magic a secret, Merlin," he chided. "Did she find out before or after me? Or did you just blurt it out?"
Merlin looked up from his hands at the derision in Arthur's voice but answered honestly, "If you found out in the caves with the Avanc as you said, then about the same time as you. She just didn't take a million years to talk to me about it like you." The attempt at humor fell flat, and he dropped his gaze back down to the table.
Arthur couldn't help being petty. He sneered, "Is there anyone else you've casually outed yourself to, Merlin?"
He honestly wasn't expecting Merlin to answer affirmatively - after all, how careless could he actually be? - but Merlin glanced up sheepishly and muttered, "Lancelot… might have seen me using magic to help him kill the griffin."
Arthur stopped pacing and let that sink in before turning to Merlin. "Well, that settles it. Why don't we just march right to my father's chambers and tell him about your magic, too?" He ignored the slight paling of Merlin's face and continued, sarcasm dripping from every syllable. "After all, everyone in the kingdom knows at this point, so what's one more?" Merlin didn't answer. "Does Guinevere know?"
"No." Arthur could tell he wasn't lying. "Okay," the prince said, counting off on his fingers. "I know, Morgana knows, Gaius knows, and Lancelot knows. Am I missing anyone?"
"No." This time, Merlin's response was sullen.
Arthur huffed out an angry breath, ran his hands down his face, and tried his best to calm down. Now was not the time to be arguing about this, he knew that, but he felt so helpless in the face of what was happening to Morgana that it was nice to have someone to lash out at, something to distract him from his worry. But if there was even a chance that Merlin could use magic to help Morgana, then he needed to focus on that now. He could - and would - berate Merlin for his carelessness later.
"Never mind that, now," the prince ordered as the anger dwindled slowly away, replaced instantly by more anxiety. "If you think you have even the slightest chance of healing Morgana, then I want you to do it."
Merlin began tapping his fingers against the table again. Arthur found himself wondering vaguely if Merlin would fight back with magic if he tried to stab him. It was a risk he was almost willing to take; why couldn't Merlin sit still one for one damn minute?! And there was that comfortable rage rising again, assuaging his fear with its irrational ferocity. Merlin seemed to be thinking, his long fingers drumming endlessly on the table, and Arthur had had enough. "Well?" he demanded. "Can you fix her, or are you as useless as you look?"
He could tell that he'd hurt Merlin's feelings by the seizing up of and then drooping of the servant's shoulders and the surprised look in his eyes. To his credit, though, Merlin didn't snap back or even call out the prince for his words. Instead, he merely answered the question the best that he could. "I honestly don't know, but I agree with you. If there's any chance at all, I need to take it. I don't know any healing spells by heart, though, and Gaius won't let me near Morgana's chambers," he fretted bitterly.
A rush of gratefulness and hope momentarily quelled the raging sea of emotions that Arthur was in real danger of drowning in. "If I order Gaius to allow us entrance, then he will have no choice. As for the spell, I'll give you the rest of the day off." Merlin gaped at the prince like he'd grown an extra arm out of the center of his chest. "Spend the time studying, searching for any spell that has any chance at all of healing Morgana. I'll come collect you late tonight and escort you to her chambers. You can try then."
Merlin nodded solemnly, rising to his feet. He hesitated, then offered Arthur a ghost of a smile. "She'll be okay," he encouraged, and if he doubted what he said, then he did a good job hiding it. Arthur almost believed it himself. Merlin added, eyes hard and determined, jaw set, "She has to be."
Arthur made his way quietly and swiftly to Gaius's chambers after the castle's curfew had begun. It was nearing midnight, and though the night watch had begun, Arthur had grown up in this castle and knew the rotations of the guards, the shortcuts, and even where the shadows pooled and the moonbeams shone on through the windows. If he were caught by a guard, he would just say he couldn't sleep because of worry for Morgana (this was, in fact, true) and that he was walking around to clear his head. No one would ever think to suspect that Arthur was going to fetch a sorcerer to heal her with magic.
Not that it mattered. He easily made it to the physician's chambers without being seen. He tapped softly on the door. Merlin must have been lingering right beside it, because it swung open immediately. Arthur caught a glimpse of an empty room before Merlin closed the door behind him.
"Where's Gaius?" he asked as the pair made their way down the staircase and in the direction of Morgana's rooms.
Merlin, who had what looked like a thick book wrapped in canvas tucked under his arm, whispered, "He's staying the night in Morgana's antechamber so that he can check on her throughout the night."
Arthur stopped walking and rounded on his servant. "And you just now decided to tell me this?" he hissed. "We have to pass through the antechamber to get to Morgana's bedroom."
"I thought you were the prince, so it doesn't matter if we go against Gaius's orders," Merlin teased, moving forward once again. Arthur quickly caught up with him.
"Be that as it may, I still want to be discreet about this. Gaius is her physician, after all, and I don't want him to get the wrong idea, to think that I don't trust him with her care."
Merlin snickered. "You mean, you're afraid of him."
"I'm afraid of no one, Merlin," Arthur countered. It was more like a healthy respect. While Merlin smugly enjoyed his little victory, the prince questioned, "Is he a heavy sleeper?"
"Sometimes. He snores even worse than you, though."
"I don't snore. And when have you been around me when I sleep, anyway?"
"You made me clean your fireplace while you took a nap just last week, remember?"
The bickering subsided as they reached the door to Morgana's chambers. Both men grew serious at once. "Don't worry," Merlin said, hefting the wrapped tome up. "I thought of the Gaius problem, too. I learned a simple sleeping spell just for the occasion. He'll sleep soundly for a few hours and then wake up none the wiser."
"I hope you practiced healing spells too," Arthur grumbled.
Arthur eased the door open. The hinges had recently been oiled; not even the slightest squeak foretold their entry. The snoring hit them the second they peeked inside. Arthur fought the urge to cover his ears and hoped that when the sleeping spell hit, the snoring would cease.
It didn't. If anything, it got louder.
"How do you ever sleep with that racket going on in the next room?" he demanded. "He sounds like a feral boar on a rampage."
Merlin chuckled humorlessly. "What's sleep?"
The door to Morgana's bedchamber lay just ahead of them, cracked slightly. Now that they were here, master and servant both realized that they might not be quite ready for this, after all. Arthur had visited Morgana often, and it rent his heart to see her lying there, so ill, so dead to the world, but he did it anyway because he cared for her.
This was different than a mere visit, though, they both knew it: They stood, side by side, simultaneously feeding and attempting to damper the spark of hope, knowing that if this failed, there was no going back. If they failed, this might be the last hope they had in a long time, and both wanted to hang on to it for a bit longer.
But Morgana didn't have longer.
Arthur steeled himself, gave Merlin a motivating slap on the back, and made his way through the door, an unusually timid Merlin padding at his heels like an overgrown puppy.
Merlin's feet stopped of their own accord the moment he set eyes on Morgana. As Gaius had been very strict about his "no unnecessary visitors and no magic, Merlin, I mean it" rules, this was the first time Merlin had seen her since she had fallen ill.
She was beautiful as always, but in her sleep she seemed fragile. Merlin had never known Morgana to be fragile. It was probably the illness that made her look so delicate and pale, her normally light skin reflecting the light filtering in through the sheer curtains like a second moon. Her hair, despite still being dark and beautiful was somehow washed out, even fanned out against the white pillow. Her eyes were closed, normally painted lids almost translucent. Nothing, not her eyes beneath their lids, not even a finger, moved. If it were not for the shallow rise and fall of her chest, Merlin would have thought her dead.
It broke something inside of him to see her like this.
He gasped at the sudden shove to the middle of his back and pitched forward, barely catching himself from face planting. Arthur's annoyed voice sounded in his ear. "Stop staring, Merlin, and heal her already."
Merlin felt his face go red as Arthur loomed next to him. "I'm sorry," he said. "I wasn't being… weird… or anything. It's just… I've never…" He trailed off.
Arthur must have heard the pain in his voice, because his tune changed quite swiftly. A strong hand landed on his shoulder and stayed there a moment longer than necessary. "I forgot this is the first time you've been in here. It's hard to see her so ill."
Merlin quickly brushed the burgeoning tears from the corners of his eyes with his sleeve. He unwrapped his magic book, flipped to the page of healing spells he had been studying, and then strode forward, determination echoing with every step.
In the end, it seemed Gaius had been right. Merlin tried every healing spell he could find in the book. He had tried them standing up and sitting down. At one point, he had followed an illustration in the text and awkwardly knelt on the bed to the side of her and cupped her too-warm cheeks in his own trembling hands. He spoke the incantation, then tried it again when it didn't work.
After a full hour of trying, he was forced to admit defeat.
He could feel Arthur's eyes on his back and a heat pressed painfully behind his eyes, a raw ache festered in his throat. He'd failed. He wasn't strong enough, or powerful enough, or smart enough - he simply wasn't enough. He couldn't bring himself to turn around to face Arthur. He couldn't bear to see the disappointment in the prince's face. He wouldn't be surprised if Arthur hated him now. How could he trust Merlin to watch his back when Merlin couldn't even cure Morgana's sickness? Arthur would fire him, Merlin was sure of it now, and who could blame him? If Morgana died from this, it was as good as Merlin's fault.
He squeezed his eyes shut, felt the tears bubble over and streak, hot and salty, down his cheeks.
Not for the first time, a hand landed on his shoulder. This time, it didn't simply rest there, but it squeezed, not hard enough to physically hurt, but Merlin could feel every ounce of emotional turmoil in Arthur's grip. He heard the prince's boot against the floor as he stood beside the servant, his hold not loosening.
Merlin finally forced himself to turn his head, to look at Arthur, to face up to what he'd done. Guilt and rage and self-loathing vied for the top spot in his heart as his blue eyes met Arthur's. Merlin had been correct - there was disappointment there. There was grief, too, the kind of grief that one can only feel after having one's hopes dashed against a stone.
Arthur opened his mouth, and Merlin waited for the inevitable: "I never should have trusted you, Merlin … What kind of a sorcerer would let his friend die like this? … It's your fault she's dying … You're not powerful enough to save her … You failed."
When he actually spoke, his voice was raw with emotion, but his words shook Merlin to the very center of his being, so unexpected and, in his mind, undeserved as they were. "Thank you … for trying," Arthur said. They stood surrounded by the heavy silence for several long heartbeats, then Arthur let go of Merlin's shoulder, patted it twice, and trudged for the door.
Merlin stood alone in Morgana's room, heart beating so quickly he thought it might break. From the antechamber, in the midst of Gaius's cacophony of snores, he heard Arthur murmur, "Merlin."
Merlin didn't bother wiping the tear tracks off his face. He took one last look at Morgana's prone form, turned on his heel, and followed his master's summons.
Without planning it, they both walked back to Arthur's chambers as if suspended in a dream.
Neither slept for the rest of the night. Arthur alternated between tossing and turning on top of his blankets to glaring at the dying fire like it had personally offended him by its very existence. Merlin slouched, barely cognizant between the daze of emotions and the siren call of unattainable sleep, in Arthur's chair, feet curled up to the side, listlessly flipping through his magic book but seeing nothing other than failure, failure, failure tattooed on every page.
Neither spoke, but they didn't have to. It was a horrible time, filled with raw emotions and fear and looming darkness, but somehow, beneath it all - perhaps because of their shared suffering - it was one of the more companionable times the two had spent together. No arguing, no bantering, just two men, two friends, one a prince and the other a servant, equals, for once, in their grief.
Dawn was slow to come, but it brought with it another surprising whisper of hope in the form of a cloaked young man with a scarred face and bright eyes. Arthur, dark circles making his eyes look bruised, met him in the courtyard after the man had cornered a guard and asked for an audience.
"My name is Edwin Muirden," the man introduced himself, and it seemed he almost reveled in his air of mystery. "And I have a remedy to cure all ills."
Arthur's first instinct was to turn the man away. After all, both Gaius and Merlin had tried treating Morgana and nothing had worked. If Gaius, a seasoned court physician with more knowledge of medicine and the human body than Arthur and his father combined, and Merlin, a fairly adept sorcerer with a tome of healing spells, couldn't revive her, then what could?
Edwin, though, had a tongue of silver, and his words hit Arthur's negative emotions just right, infusing them with just enough hope that he reconsidered.
If Gaius and Merlin couldn't save her, then what else do we have to lose?
Arthur finally agreed to escort the mysterious stranger to appear before his father, but maintained a healthy dose of skepticism all the same.
Later, perhaps, he'd ask Merlin what he thought of the newcomer. As useless as he was as a servant, Arthur had noticed rather reluctantly that the boy's instincts often tended, somehow, to be spot-on.
Arthur ended up being surprised at how quickly his father took Edwin up on his offer to examine Morgana. After all, didn't the idea of "a remedy to cure all ills" not sound considerably more like magic than it did science? Gaius, who was also present during Edwin's audience with the king, proclaimed confidently that there was no such thing, that science had not progressed far enough for such a remedy to exist. The king, although never one to listen to his old friend when it came to matters of state or magic, usually deferred with the old physician's knowledge of medicine. And yet now he all but leaped at the mere mention of Edwin's unlikely remedy.
A part of Arthur wondered if his father was simply ignoring or refusing to acknowledge the very real possibility that some kind of magic might be involved because of his concern for Morgana. But if that were the case, why did he so resolutely refuse to even consider magic when it was his entire kingdom at stake when the griffin had attacked? It wasn't that Arthur wasn't willing to give Edwin's method a try - he wanted Morgana back, healthy and whole, just as much as his father did. But these things still nagged at his mind.
Arthur caught Merlin's eye from across the room and the servant shrugged slightly. Either he didn't know what the expression on Arthur's face was trying to ask him (Do you trust this man? Do you know if he has magic?), or he simply didn't know the answer. Some help he was.
"If there's even a chance that your method can cure Morgana," the king was saying, approaching Edwin from his throne, "then I will let you see her at once."
Edwin bowed his head in the king's direction. An idea began to form in Arthur's mind. Casting one more glance at Merlin, who was watching Edwin with what Arthur could only assume was suspicion, he added, "And I will lend you the services of my manservant. He will help you with whatever you need."
Merlin's head now snapped over to look at Arthur, but despite the confusion in his eyes, he gave a curt nod.
"Very well," the king agreed. He placed his hand on Edwin's back and began to guide him toward the door. "I will take you to her chambers. Gaius," he ordered, and the old man obeyed the summons as quickly as he could. Merlin followed suit, but Arthur grabbed him by the arm and pulled him aside before he got to the door.
"I don't trust him," Arthur whispered. Merlin nodded, eyes wide. "I want you to keep a close eye on him. If he does anything out of the ordinary or suspicious, report back to me as soon as you can."
"Of course," Merlin agreed, face solemn.
"And Merlin," Arthur added as he released Merlin's arm. Merlin glanced back at the prince, questioning. "Don't let him know we're suspicious of him."
Another nod, and Merlin disappeared out of the throne room. Arthur stood, slightly stunned, realizing what he had just done. How stupid was he? He'd just asked Merlin, the least subtle man he knew, who had already revealed his deadly secret to what felt like half of Camelot, to spy on someone.
"Oh, this can only end badly," he murmured aloud with a hollow laugh. He hurried to catch up with the others.
A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter - Merille Marc, LaRieNGuBleR, Alshert, scylla646, emrysmorgan, SherlockHolmes4884, CrystalFire, Taz, oma13, and Guest. And thank you to all who read, favorited, or followed!
So I'm excited, because this "episode" is where we will be getting our first significant canon divergence. We are about to earnestly start embarking on a journey that will be at times familiar but often foreign from what you already know. After all, with Arthur and Morgana knowing Merlin's secret, things won't always pan out how they did in the show. Also, if you'll notice, I made this version of Arthur a bit smarter - well, and Merlin, too. Morgana always had the lion's share of the brains in the show, so I didn't have to do any adjusting to her. :)
I do want to let you all know that while I am going to post the next part a week from today, I'll be taking a short, week-long hiatus the week after so that I can focus on spending the holidays (safely) with my family. Then it will be back to business as usual with your regularly scheduled updates. :) Just a quick heads-up.
In the meantime, please let me know what you thought of this chapter. It's getting me so excited for the upcoming canon divergence and also for exploring the quick-deepening bonds between our three main characters in the coming chapters. Although the show often faltered in terms of writing and logic, it gave me such wonderful characters and relationships to work with. :)
That's it for this update! Tune in next week for part two, and as always, I would love to hear your thoughts, if you are so inclined to review! Thank you all so, so much for your support!
~Emachinescat ^..^