A/N: I realize that I summarized this fic as a collection of one-shots, so please consider this the fourth and final installment in this grouping of shots. I don't own Naruto or anything like that, send your thanks to Kishimoto! I hope you enjoy another installment for Home! Faves, follows, and reviews are all super duper cool!
X Akuri X
It would have been funny to see a person go through so many different facial expressions as understanding and emotion came into play had I not just told him that I had been with child and that I no longer was with a single, wistful phrase.
"You..you don't mean..." Naruto stammered, dropping the hairbrush as he tried to come up with the words, "were you..?"
"Yes," I whispered after what felt like centuries passed before I could finally say it to him, "I was seven weeks in and I had no clue."
"My god," he began to shake, eyes glittering with a thick line of tears, "and..and Deidara, when he stabbed you...it..it killed our.."
Neither of us could finish the sentence, both overwhelmed by the pain of loss. Naruto pulled me into his arms, our bodies trembling as we grieved. The heaviness that had been crushing me felt a little lighter, the downside being Naruto having to shoulder part of it now. Everything then poured out of me, every last thought and ailment, every what-if and every daydream. We spent quite some time huddled together on our bed, potentially hours while we rode the waves until calmness could again be achieved.
"What did they do with our...our baby?" Naruto asked scratchily, chin resting on the top of my head.
"Sakura would know," I suggested, "she's the one that found him during surgery."
"Him?" Naruto wondered, "how could you tell?"
"I couldn't, but when I think about it, I picture a little boy," I revealed, "a carbon copy of you, but with dark hair."
"Then we can think of him as our son," he decided, "did you ever think about what you would have named him? If he's not already buried or cremated...you and I could say goodbye to him. Hospitals do funeral services for situations like this."
"Itasuke Uzumaki," I readily admitted, "I even had a dream where I chased after him for drawing on the walls, yelling his name the whole way."
The mention of it brought a bittersweet smile to the blond's face, hands gently scrubbing over my back in attempts to comfort me. He seemed to marinate in a daydream for a short moment before his mind came back to the present.
"I like the name you picked, I just wish we could have used it." Naruto lamented.
"We can use it today to say goodbye to him."
"You're right. Let's get up and go find Sakura," Naruto suggested, "so we might have a chance to say what we need to say to Itasuke."
I agreed and we disengaged from our placement, Naruto shoeing my feet prior to helping me stand before we began our walk to the hospital. I hooked my hand on his inner elbow for support, the discomfort of my healing wounds enough to set the pace to slow. The trek took almost thirty minutes, Naruto patiently guiding and pausing when I needed to rest.
"Ready?" He asked, bending to kiss my temple.
"As ready as you can be for something like this," I replied, leaning into the touch, "are you?"
Naruto nodded and entered the building with a small and sad smile, approaching the help desk at the center of the lobby. The two women working had to be in their fifties and were probably the most chipper receptionists I'd seen anywhere. It was almost sickening.
"Hello, is Sakura on duty today?"
"She is! I can send for her if you'd like, sir," the silvery-blonde chirped.
"Oh, I can see her!" Came an excited yip from the graying brunette, waving a flabby-winged arm to garter the pinkette's attention, "Sakura! Come here! Over to the desk!"
The white-clad young woman came over with urgency at the sight of us, greeting her coworkers politely before tilting her head as an indication to follow. Sakura led us to a less populated part of the lobby where we could speak amongst each other and hear clearly.
"What can I do for you guys?"
"It's about our son," Naruto answered for the both of us before cutting straight to the hard question, "have you disposed of him?"
"No, Lady Tsunade ordered me to preserve him and prepare the body for burial, give you both ten days to decide what you wanted to have done," she assured, "I'm sure that's what you're here for, right?"
"Yes," I finally spoke up, "we'd like to know more about the burial services."
"We can provide a plot and a headstone, plus the actual burial," she herself sounded disappointed with the lacking amenities, "I think I can talk to Ino about some flowers, of course keeping it discreet."
"For now, we'd like to say goodbye ourselves," I confirmed, but added once I'd thought better of it, "you're more than welcome to join us."
"Let me talk to the funeral director, give me an hour to set this up," she promised, a tearful smile on her face as she reached out to squeeze my hand. "I'll be there and I'll have a few flowers for his grave."
"Thank you, Sakura," I could not pour more appreciation into my words, so I hugged the medical ninja tightly. Her embrace was firm and she didn't let go until I did, solidifying the friendship we'd forged over the years. With a warm look and a wave, the pinkette darted off to attend to the matters at hand.
"I see you two became pretty good friends," Naruto mentioned, taking my hand to guide me outside to a bench in the sun. "How'd that happen?"
"Tsunade would send her out on missions with me sometimes, other times she'd just stop by with lunch," I recalled, smiling faintly at the memory. We settled side by side on the bench, the early afternoon sunshine warming every exposed part of me despite it being halfway through November. "Then I'd drop off breakfast before her hospital shifts, we'd have a cup of tea together those mornings."
"Really? I'll be honest, I wouldn't have expected that from Sakura."
"At first, I didn't expect it in the slightest, it took me by surprise," I confessed, "but I started to understand it after a little while."
X (sharing the pain)
"Why do you keep bringing me lunch?" I asked, pinching a piece of sashimi between my chopsticks. "Not that I'm going to complain, it's good."
"You're going to laugh," she assumed, cheeks tinting a light pink. "But...being around you makes me think of Sasuke, I also feel better about him being gone because you know what that's like."
I put down my chopsticks and processed what she divulged, humming thoughtfully. It all made sense and I took a sip of hot ginger tea before I addressed her again.
"I wouldn't laugh at something like that," I assured, meeting her sea foam gaze. It was evident that broaching the subject was difficult, the sadness in her irises not hidden very well. "I know how it feels to miss someone so much, not knowing if or when you'll see them again."
"I can't stop thinking about the night he left..." she revealed, "there was so much more I could have done to show him that I cared."
"He knew you cared, Sakura. Can I tell you a secret?" I didn't wait for her to answer, "Sasuke, after coming home from training or missions, he'd talk forever about you. Sakura did this, Sakura's already done that."
"You can't be serious," she fanned her face, "there's no way."
"I am serious," I swore, smiling at the recollection, "when he told me about what you did to protect them during the exams, he didn't shut up for nearly thirty minutes about you."
The joy it brought to her face made my heart lighten by a few pounds, glad to have alleviated that bit of sadness from her own. The pinkette ate her lunch with a look of content, reminding me to finish what was left in my homemade bento box. I refilled our cups of tea and we spent more of the afternoon together at my home, slowly exchanging tidbits of information. It was nearly three when Sakura caught a glimpse of the clock.
"I need to get back to work," she informed, but smiled brightly. "But I'm really glad we had this talk, I feel much better."
"So do I," I responded kindly, "let's have lunch together again tomorrow, same time?"
"Sounds perfect, I have a new recipe I'd like to try," she boasted, "you'll have to tell me how you like it. See you!"
After that, her and I would see each other nearly every single day.
X Naruto X
The tiny wooden box that contained what would have been my son was far too light to have had such a heaviness on my soul, the sight of it blurring as tears formed. I'd managed to hold myself together up until Sakura placed the miniature coffin in my hands, tears escaping my lids at an alarming rate and plunking down on the painted cedar.
"I picked out the nicest plot I could find," Sakura informed, guiding the pair of us over to a small section of the cemetery that had flowers sprouting around every single grave placard. The slate of the selected space was blank and the earth below it had been dug to form a tiny shallow grave, a small arrangement of bluebells and white roses were tucked into a gray ceramic vase complete with a tied navy ribbon.
"Thank you," I murmured to my comrade, "for all of this."
"You don't have to thank me, it's the least I could do for you both," she refused gently, her delicate looking fingers touching the lid of the coffin. "I'm so sorry this happened to you."
The three of us began the funeral process, the grief seemingly numbing me to the entirety of the ordeal. Together, Akuri and I placed the simple, miniature casket in the center of the unearthed dirt square before scooping handfuls of soil to begin the burial. Our eyes met and my numbness was penetrated by the shattered look she displayed, her eyes both crimson and lined with deep red blood that began to fall down her cheeks in eerie trails. Instead of three tomoe, her Sharingan had morphed into a compass star shape, the design not entirely decipherable from where I knelt. Sakura was the first to react, taking hold of Akuri's biceps to center her focus.
"What's happening? You're crying blood," she sounded more methodical than I would have imagined during a burial service. Her professionalism extended the workplace, it seemed. "Your Sharingan has altered."
"They've achieved the next level, I suppose," Akuri surmised, though the center of those four-pronged stars remained attentive to our task at hand.
Itasuke was buried before long, Sakura dolling out white lillies entwined with pastel blue carnations. Her pointer and middle finger began to emit a low humming noise as she pointed them at the grave marke, soon gaining a bright yellow light.
"Itasuke Uzumaki," Akuri ordered, speaking for the both of us.
"Born in eternal life, asleep in peace until we finally meet," I finished throatily before recalling the date of his discovery and subsequently recorded death, "November eleventh."
Sakura's hand remained steady, engraving the headstone with visibly raw chakra. The etching was completed in minutes, the font particularly crisp on the fresh slate. My concerns about my partner's visual prowess were left on the back burner, instead my mind began to form the words I wanted to leave my son while he navigated the purgatory between being unborn and earth-side.
"If I'd known about you, I would have kept you safe," Akuri whispered, "I would have been so happy, so excited to meet you."
"Me too," I piped up, lacing our fingers together as I faced the tiny plot, "I would have shown you every little thing, taught you everything I know. I could have show you that I love you so, so much, I'm sorry I didn't get the chance."
"You would have been my whole world," Akuri's voice began to waver on the edge of weeping, prompting me to pull her close to my body for comfort. "I would have looked forward to waking up to you every single day, Itasuke... I love you."
We dropped our flora on the freshly covered burial pit, the headstone steaming with the heat of the chakra having bore into it's surface. Our trio shed tears as a whole, Sakura soon leaving us with a kind glance to grieve privately. We remained at the site for hours, the sun setting and sinking below the horizon to become darkening skies. I shivered in the cold, though I was settled beside Akuri with our sides pressed together; my heart aching at the thought of departing, though I knew her kimono wouldn't be enough to defend against the autumn chill. My own agony had to be forgotten in order to attend to our physical needs.
"We should get going," I suggested, trembling despite my desire to be her heat source.
"I don't want to leave him here.." she attested, clearly distressed and exhausted. To make matters all the worse, fat rain drops began to plunk down all around us. The precipitation escalated while I attempted to form a logical conclusion for leaving the cemetery.
"Neither do I," I reasoned, shifting to face her instead of warm her backside, "I wish we were bringing him home with us instead, I promise you. But you'll get sick if we stay out much longer."
Akuri seemed to deliberate for a brief moment before she nodded in agreement, waiting for me to stand before her hands reached out to be helped to her feet. We began the walk home, the pace hastened when I chose to carry her to escape the evening breeze that sunk down to the bone. Upon entering our home, I summoned a clone to prepare tea while I guided my partner to our bedroom.
"You'll warm up faster without clothes," I informed as I began to deftly undo every tie of her gown and stripped away any undergarments, delicately peeling the sopping bandages from her belly to bare her entirely. After inspecting her eyes to affirm they'd returned to their normal bicolored wonder, I used my damp sleeve to wipe away the residual dried blood tears. "Tea should be ready in about ten minutes, what kind do you want?"
"Orange zest."
The clone overheard from the other side of the door, making an affirmative noise that was audible to us both. I retrieved the salve and began to apply a thin coat of it over the freshly mended skin of her incision and stab wound. Finally, I removed my own wet clothing and deposited them in a hamper with Akuri's kimono.
"Make it two cups," I hollered to the replica in the small kitchen, setting out a dry and sterile roll of gauze to use after tea. I helped Akuri get into bed, pulling the covers up just enough to cover her legs and bits while the ointment dried on her skin above. "Are you in pain?"
"A little, but I'll be okay," she admitted, leaning back against the pillows, "how about you?"
"I don't think I've ever felt so sad in my life, to tell you the truth," I revealed, coming over to sit down beside her and take her hand. "I've never known a pain like this before."
My clone came in, depositing tea mugs in our hands before disappearing with a cloud of smoke. We took slow sips, warming up from the core and working it out to our extremities. The silence that passed wasn't entirely uncomfortable, the pair of us seeming to be muddling through our thoughts in attempts to organize the chaos. Akuri was the one to break the silence, placing her empty mug on the end table beforehand.
"We just have to take it one day at a time," she advised, leaning her cheek on my shoulder as she sat up carefully, "breath by breath. This isn't going to be easy, but we have each other."
"We'll always have each other," I agreed, finishing my tea before I patted her thigh and got to my feet, "I'm going to wrap you up for the night, it's getting late."
The process of dressing her healing injuries took nearly no time, my hands concise while they worked. We shared a chaste kiss before cuddling up under the blankets, Akuri's chest rising and falling steadily within moments as sleep drug her under. My own escape from wakefulness didn't come to me like it did her, my brain unable to silence itself and my heart under such high emotional duress that it physically ached in my chest. With Akuri now shielded from my pain in her sleep, I dropped my guard and wept as quietly as I could. The hot trails ran down my cheeks until I had nothing left in me but a sore emptiness in my core, the grief alleviated just enough for me to fall into a fitful sleep.
X Akuri, 13 days later X
"Today is your last day of bandages," Naruto chimed as he peeled away the mostly-clean strip of fabric, smiling at the progress of my healing ailments. His fingers were gentle in the removal, softly touching the pink lines from surgery and injury as he inspected them before they dipped into the salve to spread it over the fresh scars. "We're supposed to check in with Grandma Tsunade, right?"
"Yeah, today she can drop a few of my restrictions," I informed, "or if I'm lucky, she'll put me back to work."
"Are you sure you're ready for that?" His question was laden with concern as he began to wrap my lower torso in gauze. "After everything that's happened...isn't it a little soon?"
Truthfully, I was dying to get my hands on Deidara for all the pain he'd caused. I'd been itching to get back to training and honing my skills, even more so with the activation of my Mangekyo.
"I have a lot to work on," I replied before continuing, "you saw how easily I was taken down, that can't happen again. And I've achieved the next level of my dojutsu after all, I have to hone that."
"Then we can train together, but I don't think you need to be back on active duty yet," he insisted, wiping his hands on a cloth before taking mine, "I know how you feel, you want to make him pay. I do too."
"The fastest way for that to happen is for me to get back out there and find him," I argued, "the sooner I can find him, the sooner I can kill him-"
"Akuri," the way he said my name made me stop my reasoning, "within the last few weeks, we've lost a child. Your internal organs were damaged in that battle and you aren't up to par yet. You and I have experienced the worst kind of pain in the world."
Naruto stood to retrieve a loose shirt and bra while I processed his statement, sliding the straps up my arms and hooking the clasp behind me. The soft cotton shirt slid over top of me easily, his strong fingers tugging it into the correct placement. A lump caught in my throat as his words sank in, but I shook it off and finally addressed him again.
"And because of that loss, I believe he deserves death."
"And I do too," he urged, warm hands cupping my cheeks, "but we aren't ready to do that yet. I'm not strong enough and you haven't recovered. I know it's hard, but we can't lose our heads."
"God, you sound like Shikamaru," I chuckled, leaning into his touch, "when did you grow up so much?"
"I did a lot of maturing on my journey with the Pervy Sage," he responded, leaning in to kiss me sweetly, "and after finding out about Itasuke, I did a lot of thinking."
"What did you think about?" I asked to distract myself from the sharp pang in my heart at the name of our son.
"You and me for starters," he began while shifting to sit down beside me on the bed, "I've been in love with you since I was nine years old, ya know."
With his admittance, I leaned into his side and pecked his cheek. His strong arm curled around me then, fingers splaying over my hip to rest there. I remained quiet as he continued, silently grateful for his supportive embrace.
"I want to keep us together, happy, and healthy for as long as I possibly can," he promised, "and I think about our future all the time, especially after we lost Itasuke. If I ever want to have another chance at being a father, let alone becoming the Hokage, I need to be better."
Despite the light sting that came with the motion, I turned and threw my arms around his neck to crush our forms together fiercely. I didn't have the words to comfort him or reassure that he was already the best, but his loving return of the embrace told me it was enough. We remained like that for long minutes, taking every ounce of solace we could from one another.
"Let's go see Tsunade," I proposed, leaning back to meet his eyes, "we can visit Sakura and Itasuke while we're there."
"Can we stop to get new flowers?"
"It's like you read my mind," I told him, "let's get going."
Naruto stood and retrieved our shoes, gently lifting me to my feet before we exited our small home. We walked hand in hand toward the Yamanaka floral shop, the pace faster than it had been for many days. Thankfully, Ino wasn't there to perform the exchange of goods - I never particularly liked her despite Sakura's defense of her person. The pair of us began our journey to the Hokage's office, a small white and blue arrangement held delicately in Naruto's hands, both anxious to hear good news. We were greeted by a kindly receptionist, waving us through toward Tsunade's workspace.
"Hey Grandma Tsunade," Naruto chirped, grinning broadly at the blonde behind the desk, "we're here for the checkup!"
"So I see," she hummed, eyes glittering warmly at the sight of the small bouquet, "those must be for Itasuke...they're beautiful. I won't keep you too long."
"They are, thanks," I told her, not unkindly, "I appreciate your understanding, m'lady."
"No need to thank me for anything," she assured. The blonde adjusted her green jacket before getting to her feet and stretching, "Let's go into an examination room so I can take a look at your scars."
Our trio entered a medium sized hospital-type room that was down the hallway from her office, the Hokage closing the door behind us. She instructed me to remove my shirt and approached to unravel the dressing over my stomach, gentle and methodical as she went. Naruto had taken a seat in a nearby chair, the floral token settled across his lap.
"They've healed so nicely," she informed, her tone indicating how pleased she was, "you can go home without bandages, that's for certain. Let's take a look at your file, I'll see what restrictions I can lift."
"Bending and reaching would be the most helpful," I suggested, pulling my shirt back on after she'd finished her examination. "Any sort of work clearance?"
"Give yourself some more time," the Godaime ordered, "I'm going to allow you to partake in light exercises, but no missions. You can use your full range of motion, but take it easy. See me in a few weeks and we'll talk about work then."
Naruto's expression relaxed into one of ease after the command, a small smile tugging his pink lips. I grumbled in compliance, sliding off of the examination table to stand to my full height. We exchanged goodbyes and the pair of us made our way down to the hospital cemetery, footsteps ending once we'd reached the fresh headstone.
"Sakura must've put these here," I observed, carefully crouching to study the pastel blue-dyed morning glories that were interwoven with white anemones. "Unless Lord Fifth did."
"They're pretty," Naruto murmured, kneeling to change out floral gifts and replace stale water, "I'm happy to know that he would have been so loved."
"You and me both," I agreed, reaching down and stroking a finger over the smooth stone, short nail catching lightly over the engraved dates. His warm arm curled around me and we leaned our heads together, eyes held steady on the grave below us. "He would have had a loving family here with us, if only we'd gotten to meet him."
"All we can do now is move forward, live a life he would have been proud of."