Legalities, as always Sam and Dean and all things Supernatural do not belong to me. They are the property of the CW and Kripke Enterprises. I wish they would share, but I don't think that is going to happen so I guess I will simply play in their sandbox for a bit.

Rating MA: For language and injured Dean and Sam throughout the storyline, they will also be M/M pairing although they are not brothers in this story. Pairings won't happen till later chapters, so be sure to review the warnings before reading.

If you don't like this type of thing, then don't read this story I am sure there are ones that would be more pleasing to you.

Author's Note: This story will follow Sam and Dean they continue their lives and try to deal with the challenges of their own pasts and tragic past of a child named Adam Milligan. This ride will get bumpy before it gets smooth, so be prepared.

Chalked full of angst and hurt Dean and worried Sam

Please keep in mind that I do not have a Beta, so if there are errors, I apologize ahead of time.

Chapter 5

Search

Dean was still lying on his back, his body listing to the side that the spike wasn't protruding from, the pain had settled into a constant throb of shooting white hot agony that was flashing through his left side and culminating in a big band playing what felt like a full scale concert inside his head. He had left his phone open for a while, unwilling to allow the descent of total darkness…he wasn't sure that he would make it without the little light reminding him of Sam. That and the smiling picture of Sam Wesson… Dean wasn't sure when he had passed out, but as he struggled back to consciousness he noticed that his battery was low, so he made the heartrending choice to shut the phone down.

He had clicked the cell phone closed eventually because he knew that the battery wasn't going to last much longer and he was desperately hoping that Sam might text him back…or that if he did, it would actually have enough power to come through. His mind started to wander as he continued to stay pinned beneath the heavy metal shelf, Dean thought of Anna and Castiel and their new daughter and he felt a lump rise up in his throat at the realization that he may never see the little tyke grow up. In fact there was a possibility that he would never get to actually meet the little boy that he and Sam had been given a chance to adopt. Tears sprang into his eyes and he immediately steered his mind away from those thoughts.

Unfortunately for him, his mind simply found other ways to occupy itself… He wondered what Sam would do if he died here…how he would cope. Would he move onto another relationship with another man? Or would he go back to his original team and find some great girl and get married, have kids of his own that would carry on his legacy. The pain that flashed through his heart as he considered that very real possibility had nothing to do with the spike pinning him to the floor and everything to do with a certain pair of blue-green eyes and that solidly muscled body. Dean couldn't imagine someone else touching his Sammy, making him laugh or cry out in pleasure in those private moments that Dean treasured above almost everything else in his life. His breathing was turning ragged as he tried to control the emotions swirling around inside him; he noticed that he could feel his limbs starting to shake slightly as the shock set in. Dean rolled his eyes in frustration as he recognized his deteriorating physical state. Great just freaking peachy… He wondered if they were even looking for him, if they even knew where to find him or if he was among the presumed dead. God he hoped that wasn't the case, because Sam wouldn't handle that too well…not well at all.

Dean's mind wandered again and he thought back to the day he had met Sam…that one evening he had walked into the library and seen for the first time the man that would change his life.

Sam was seated behind the desk, his eyes slipping closed as he struggled to read the completely and totally boring law text. Dean's eyes had been immediately drawn to the lanky student with long brunette hair and amazing blue-green eyes…of course it might also have been the fact that Sam was sitting with his sister. But even with as angry as he had been at Anna's current state, he had not been blind to the man sitting next to her. From the moment Dean had realized that they were roommates, he had been a lost cause. Something about Sam had pulled him inextricably to the younger man and he had been helpless to fight it. He wasn't sure that he would have fought it anyways; Sam was destined to be his. Dean had loved him from so early on in their relationship that he was unable to define the exact moment that he had realized that he officially off the market.

Dean still struggled with the demons of his past…the things that his father forced from him had been unconscionable…but the things that Dean had done to keep Anna safe were so much worse that he had never fully forgiven himself. Sam had learned about many of these 'situations' when after the accident Dean had gotten ill and spouted things during a fever. He had never thought that someone could accept and…god-willing even forgive the things that had happened to him, but Sam had. He had never pushed Dean to reveal all of the heinous acts of his father, but he had been there every time the memories threatened to take Dean's sanity. Dean had wondered for the first few years they were together, when Sam was going to realized that he was too good for Dean. He had waited for that other shoe to drop, knowing that if it did he probably wouldn't survive it...oh he wasn't suicidal or anything...but he never would have allowed anyone to get that close ever again. Sammy had weaseled his way past all of Dean's defenses and set up camp inside of Dean's heart. He had fortified his position through the constant love and support that he had offered Dean. He was also the most amazing lover that Dean had ever had...and he had been with a lot of people. More than were acceptable in his few years traipsing over this earth. He shuddered involuntarily as the cruel faces of some of them flickered across his minds eye. Dean wondered if he would ever get to touch Sam's soft skin again, feel Sam's lips wrap around his cock in slow torture as he pulled Dean into passionate throws of ecstasy and whether or not he would feel the other man shutter in undisguised pleasure as Dean took him slowly and thoroughly...his thoughts shifted again. Damn...I can't even concentrate anymore. He thought in random frustration.

His eyes fluttered as he continued drift in and out of consciousness at this point, his blood was still trickling from the injury to his left side and that damn head wound was making the effort of trying to stay awake nearly impossible. Dean had even thought that he heard voices at one point, he had strained to open his heavy eye lids, but the blood that had dribbled into them, subsequently drying, was causing them to quite literally be totally and completely glued shut. He listened as well as he could, struggling to keep focused, but he had found that almost immediately his mind was descending into darkness again…thoughts of Sammy flashing through his head in time to the drums banging inside his skull.

XXXX

Sam stumbled as he followed the two men deeper into the where the garage used to be, it was the best access point to get to the basement. His eyes were adjusting to the dark, but not as quickly as he would have liked. The flashlights that they each carried were specifically for search and rescue, so the candle watt power was extremely high. But every time that Sam looked away from the lit pathway they were slowly picking their way along, he would stumble as his eyes lost their ability to distinguish between the shadows and the pieces of concrete and rebar strewn throughout the area. Edison was a knowledgeable team leader, he had been involved after the world trade centers had been attacked and he knew how to clear an area of potential survivors. Jackson had worked with the man on several searches, so they worked well as a team, both were certified in high angle rescue techniques and were willing to teach Sam what they knew.

Sam's mind was wandering terribly, he kept picturing Dean and the state that he could and likely would be in. The bloody horrible state that he might be in right at this very moment. Sam wanted to move away from those thoughts, he knew that they were anything but helpful. But he had thought that he had lost Dean years ago after that awful accident that he still bore the physical scars of and Dean walked around with the emotional ones etched into his very soul. Sam thought of his first impression of Dean, that night in the Stanford library...a million years ago...or so it seems. He remembered Dean's bearing and the powerful presence that he had been, he had filled up the whole room that night. Then later he had filled up Sam, in a way that he hadn't known that he hungered for. Sam would be lost without Dean, he couldn't even think about what life would be like without the sarcastic, annoying, and the subtleties that simply were the culmination of who Dean was.

"So Sam, did you know anyone that worked here?" Edison asked as he continued to look off into the darkness, following the path back into the chasms of the hospital.

Sam swallowed his immediate response and the emotions that welled up in relation to it. "Uh…yeah. Yeah, Edison I do." He said quietly, feeling his booted foot come into contact with something hard, his lifted his leg and stepped up over the solid mass of stone.

Edison's voice took on a soft quality, there was a hint of an accent to his voice and Sam wondered silently where the man was from originally. "I'm sorry Sam…I hope they are okay. Have you heard from her…"

Sam allowed his eyes to drop to his hands in an attempt to calm his jumbled feelings before answering the man. "No I haven't heard from…him." Sam heard the intake of breath from both men at that revelation. I bet they think I'm crazy...that there's no way that Dean is still alive. He knew that he couldn't accept that, he knew that there was no way that Dean would have accepted that if their roles were reversed. Dean hadn't accepted that he wouldn't recover form that accident, he had pushed Sam to go to physical therapy, he had run with Sam and he improved and they had finally gotten close to where they had started...Dean struggling to keep up with Sam's long strides and easy pace.

"What did he do here Sam?" Jackson asked as he followed Sam's form in the darkness.

"He is the head of pediatric oncology." Sam answered simply. He refused to believe that Dean was dead…because he couldn't deal with that scenario.

"Wow, the child cancer doc?" Edison asked, suddenly coming to a halt and turning bright curious brown eyes in Sam's direction.

Sam nearly bowled him over at the sudden halt to their forward progression. "Yeah, that's Dean."

Edison's eyes shifted and they became worried, "He saved my son's life…4 years ago. Kid was diagnosed with childhood leukemia and he saved my son."

Sam swallowed the immediate wave of emotions as he thought of all the kids Dean had saved since he had started working here. He knew that there were more cases that he won, when dealing with the cancer victims, than he lost. Dean just wouldn't accept that there were some kids that their cancer was too advanced or simply non-curable. But he never gave up hope and he tried until the day when the child was no longer able to fight and then he would attend their funerals. Tears stun Sam's eyes as he watched the man choke back his own feelings. Dean you can't die down here…there are too many kids out there that need you. I need you. He thought.

Jackson watched the exchange between the two men, he knew that the illness that had plagued Edison's son had been advanced and that they hadn't thought that the little guy as going to make it. But that doctor had fought right alongside those parents and that little boy and he had now been in remission for three years. He played on his school's baseball team and he lived a pretty normal life…now.

"Sam, we are going to find that doctor…alive." Edison said sincerely.

Sam nodded and waved his hand forward so that they could continue their last few meters into the darkness to the hole where Edison had said that he had heard a voice earlier. Sam prayed to a god he wasn't sure that he believed in, that it was where Dean was.

The men lowered themselves into the hole, the cement was a little unstable, but not so much that they couldn't risk entry into the area. The wires that had been sparking with electricity earlier, were now hanging quietly, no sign of the blue arcs from before.

"Dean!" Sam called as his feet settled onto the cement floor of the basement. He bent his knees and unhooked the figure eight from the rope, allowing it to hang from his harness as he turned and looked into the darkness.

"Dean." Edison called as he flipped on his head lamp. Using it to break up the pitch black of the smaller area, they each spotted a door that was still shut. It appeared that the room on the other side was still intact. The walls still standing despite the devastation surrounding it on all sides.

Sam stumbled toward it in his haste, something was niggling at his senses…he knew that Dean had be on the other side. He just knew it.

Edison hurried after him, looking at the damage to the metal door, it was warped and bend slightly to the inside, meaning that they were going to have a hell of time getting it open so they could officially clear that room. He glanced at Jackson and saw that same assessment on his partners face. Sam pounded on the door, he stopped and listened to see if there was any response from inside the room.

"Dean!" He called again, his voice breaking at the end of Dean's name in desperation.

They all stopped and listened…and then Sam heard it…a soft "M'mmy?" It was muffled and slurred, but it was Dean's. Sam neared sobbed with relief at hearing that beloved voice.

"He's in there Edison. I heard him." He said in rush to the other men.

Edison walked up and placed a gentle hand Sam's shoulder, "I heard it too Sam. But I'm not sure that we can get inside that room without special equipment. The door is warped and the whole room appears to be metal."

Sam's eyes nearly bugged out his head at that… "What the hell do you mean!" he yelled. His fear and frustration rising to the surface over ruling any of his normal social tact. That was Dean on the other side…his amazing beautiful Dean…and he could be dying. There was no way that Sam was going to accept that they couldn't get him out of that room…right the fuck now.

Jackson watched Sam with sympathy and a small amount of respect as he saw the internal battle that the man was fighting. Fighting and losing. The rational part of his brain saw what they were up against and the part of him that loved that man inside was seeing the thin barrier between his over and medical help.

"Dean, are you okay?" Edison called as he held a hand up to Sam asking for silence.

There was no answer from the other side for several seconds and then there was a faint, "No…hurt…M'mmy." And then there was complete and soul crushing silence as they heard something shift inside the room.

"DEAN!" Sam called as he rammed his shoulder into the door, completely ignoring the pain that flashed through his body at the impact. A part of his brain told him that he would have a significant bruise there tomorrow. He didn't care.

Dean heard the slam as the door shook and held. He knew somewhere inside his muddled brain that Sam had found him and that he was trying to get to him. He shifted slightly to try and get a better lung full of oxygen so he could call out to Sam…but the whole shelf shifted and he slipped down further, the spike now rising only from his chest. His back now firmly against the cold concrete of the floor, he could feel the rush of blood as his battered body settled in place.

"S'mmy…" he whispered as the agony that was shooting through his chest become more than he could handle and he slipped again into the darkness.

Sam had stopped hitting the door long enough to place his ear against the metal and listen to the sounds on the other side. He heard a low and nearly inaudible, "S'mmy…" and then nothing...absolute and utter silence.

"DEAN!" he screamed as the desperation permeated every cell of his body.

TBC…

Author's Note: So I know it looks bleak for Dean…but they will be rescuing him in the next chapter. So hang on for that ride…cuz I don't do death fics.

Please Review…they are like candy for my Muse.