Legalities, as always Sam and Dean and all things Supernatural do not belong to me. They are the property of the CW and Kripke Enterprises. I wish they would share, but I don't think that is going to happen so I guess I will simply play in their sandbox for a bit.

Rating MA: For language and injured Dean and Sam throughout the storyline, they will also be M/M pairing although THEY ARE NOT BROTHERS in this story. Pairings won't happen till later chapters, so be sure to review the warnings before reading.

If you don't like this type of thing, then don't read this story I am sure there are ones that would be more pleasing to you.

Author's Note: This story will follow Sam and Dean they continue their lives and try to deal with the challenges of their own pasts and tragic past of a child named Adam Milligan. This ride will get bumpy before it gets smooth, so be prepared.

This story contains mentions of past abuse both physically and sexually involves Dean as a minor, though just barely, but be prepared.

This story has a relationship of the M/M variety. You have been warned.

Previous Chapter

Adam didn't really talk much, he preferred to sit back and watch…learn. That was how he had done it with his father…stayed out of the way as much as possible. Until the man had gone crazy one night and hurt Adam…and then the nice woman had come and taken him away. She'd taken him to the doctor…who had fixed the 'hurts' his father had done to him. But as he looked at these two men he felt something warm and safe flood his tiny heart and he pulled his fingers out of the woman's hands and walked over to the smaller man. He was looking intently at Adam…he reached up and took the man's face between his small hands and stared into the man's green eyes. Adam decided right then and there that he liked this man…he smiled and leaned forward hugging the man around the neck.

Dean's breath caught as the little boy walked right up to him and grasped his face, taking stock of who Dean was at an almost cellular level. He smiled and then pulled the doctor down and into a hug that reverberated through his entire body. The kid hugged with everything he was…and Dean found his arms coming up involuntarily and wrapping protectively around the small boy.

The woman smiled and looked over at Sam as the tears welled up in his eyes. He'd ever seen Dean so happy before, the grin that spread across Dean's face was so side that it must have hurt somewhat.

"It appears as though we have a match." She said warmly. Sam nodded instantly.

Chapter 13

A Lead

Dean was staring at the wall of their bedroom. His head was lowered and he was looking at the navy blue duvet. He'd actually had no idea what a duvet was…until Sam brought it home. It was laid carefully over his legs in an attempt to keep him from getting chilled. The room was bright with the morning sunlight and he found himself sighing in contentment. Now if he could just get rid of the nagging pain that was a constant reminder of the bombing…he'd be doing awesome. His thoughts turned to Adam and the meeting they'd had yesterday. He and Sam had officially put in the paperwork and now it was a waiting game. Because of his injuries, the agency wanted to keep Adam with them, just until his doctors cleared him.

It didn't hurt that he and Sam were both doing great. He was recovering and slowly getting some of his stamina back. Although, neither of them had been willing to test the current healing state his heart was in with anything sexual…and that was making both of them a little irritable. They'd never gone weeks without touching each other…and Dean definitely hated it. But the random stabs of pain that would tear through his chest were a definite reminder that he still had a long way to go.

They hadn't been able to pick up Adam yet…but they were getting so close. The paperwork was in the last stages and the little boy had been over to their home on several supervised visits. He reached up scrubbing a hand down his face as he thought about the crazy direction that their lives had taken. Ever since that single chance encounter in the library all those years ago, neither of them had been the same.

He cast his gaze around the large room and smiled when he saw the multitude of evidence of Sam's presence everywhere. His jeans neatly folded and placed gently over the back of the large grey chair in the corner. His reading glasses were resting on the edge of the nightstand, where he would lay them every night. Sam loved to read before going to bed, in fact he told Dean that he couldn't really sleep until he had read something. The sheer amount of things that Sam had physically touched in Dean's life was astonishing.

His tongue darted out and licked across his lower lip and he ignored the dull thump of pain still radiating through his body. As a doctor he knew that he wouldn't be back to one hundred percent any time in the near future. And there was a good chance that he would have permanent damage from the severity of his injuries. People don't get blown up and just walk away unscathed. War was evidence of that.

This line of thinking brought thoughts of the actual explosion. Dean still had no clue who would have wanted to blow up a hospital, or why they would target one inside of the United States. Generally when a bomber was trying to make a point they would focus on those responsible for whatever slight the bomber imagined had been perpetrated. That normally didn't involve the people that saved lives…except that this time it does. He thought with no small amount of irritation.

There was something that was so…off about this one. The timing and the location weren't consistent with any factions that he knew of. But there had to be a reason that his hospital was targeted. Dean bit at his lower lip as he contemplated; he finally shook his head in an effort to clear his mind of those thoughts. He'd be better off leaving this kind of thing up to the professionals. The agent that had visited him in the hospital was due to return in the next few weeks, so maybe he'd have some answers for them. But as things stood at the moment…they simply didn't know anything.

An unexpected zing of tightness followed by fiery pain had him gasping as his good hand flew up to clutch at his chest. And of course, this is the moment that Sam chose to walk back into their room, carrying a steaming mug of coffee for Dean. His blue-green eyes flew up at the pinched expression he saw, causing him to set the mug down and quickly rush to Dean's side.

"Dean?" He asked worriedly. His large hands were suddenly resting gently over Dean's as he waited for acknowledgement. This wasn't the first time that he'd walked in on one of Dean's episodes. But it was never easy for him to see the man he loved in pain. He been just about to head the door for work, but there was no way in hell he was going anywhere with Dean looking like he currently did.

Pained green eyes flickered up to meet his worried gaze. And Sam wanted to crumble at the discomfort he could easily read there. He shook his own head and closed his eyes as Dean's breathing evened out, in an attempt to control the pain. "I'm okay Sam…just give me a minute." His voice was soft as he leaned against the pillows, his fingers relaxing slightly as the pain lessened.

Sam pulled in a slow breath, turning so that he was seated next to Dean. His fingers intertwining with his partners as he held the warm hand against his own chest. It wasn't much, but it was all the support that he could offer at the moment. Dean's head turned and he smiled tiredly at Sam.

"You're gonna be late." Dean didn't really want Sam to go, but he also knew that he'd missed a lot of work. He had case and people that were depending on him, people besides just Dean.

Sam shook his head, his expression concerned. "I'm not leaving you like this."

"Sammy…I'm not going anywhere." Dean shifted slightly, allowing a better view of Sam's face. "You can't be here every second of the day." He lifted his good hand and gently rand his fingers down the taller man's face. "Baby…I know you would you do it in a heartbeat…but I really am okay."

Something clenched inside of Sam at the soft words. He gulped back a surge of emotion and looked away from Dean, his fingers pulling gently away from the older man's chilly hand. He inhaled slowly and leaned his elbows on his knees as he leaned over the edge of the bed. A feather light touch on his lower back had him turning and closing the distance between himself and Dean in an instant. He knew that he had to be careful with Dean, but he needed to feel the other man.

Sam's lips captured Dean's in a rough kiss, his tongue licking along Dean's lower lip and causing it to part from the top. The warm wet heat of Dean's mouth was intoxicating. He thrust his tongue inside and pulled Dean impossibly closer as he plundered the older man's mouth. Sam twisted his head and changed to the position as he continued to kiss Dean…like he might never have another chance. It was like riding a roller coaster and eating cotton candy, it was sweet and scary all at the same time.

A low moan rumbled in Dean's chest as he ignored his body's warning that they were moving too far too fast. He reached up with his good hand and caressed the soft locks that hung just above Sam's collar. A moan worked its way up the larger man's throat as the long fingers ghosted over a sensitive spot on his neck.

"Dean…" he gasped. He was careful to keep the bulk of his weight off the smaller man. It wasn't really even a conscious thought; he just knew that he couldn't rest his considerable body weight on Dean. He allowed his hands to slip slowly from the Dean's neck and gently caress his collar bones. The foreign feeling of the bandages still attached to his partner's chest was what broke through the lust that was clouding his judgment. He pulled, almost violently, away from Dean's luscious body. "I'm sorry…Dean…I'm sorry." He panted as he stood up and started pacing their room. His hands sifting through his own hair as he mentally berated himself for losing control.

Dean's eyebrow's rose and then pulled together as he looked up at Sam. His body was still tingling from the unexpected pleasure that he'd felt. He wasn't even going to acknowledge the pain…at least that was what he was telling himself when a sudden warping fire rushed through his chest. He gasped in pain and leaned forward in an effort to alleviate the unexpected agony. "S'm…" he managed as his body went rigid and he lost control of his upper body as darkness descended.

Sam spun around and his eyes widened as he watched Dean's body slump forward like a boneless fish. "Oh god…" he stumbled around the bed and sank to his knees as he reached out to gently shake Dean's shoulders. He was careful of the bandages as he leaned in and prayed that he'd find a heartbeat. Sam nearly sobbed when he felt the strong thrum of Dean's heart against his fingertips. "Dean…" he whispered, leaning in and running his hand over the unconscious man's forehead. He nearly swore when he felt the sticky cold sweat against his skin.

It wasn't a fever…at least he didn't think it was. Dean was cold…not hot. "Dean?" His voice was soft and rimmed with fear. He reached up and maneuvered Dean's body into a more comfortable position. Sam pried open one of Dean's eyelids, checking for responsiveness…there was no way that a person cold live that close to a doctor and not pick up a thing or two. Dean's pupils were dilated and there was no movement in the eye.

"Shit!" Sam swore as he reached out for the phone. He didn't hesitate as his shaky fingers dialed 911, his breathing stilted as he managed to get the needed information out. The operator could hear the nearly panicked quality in his voice; she was quick to reassure him that help was on its way.

XXXX

Sam watched as Dean breathed steadily. He hadn't woken up yet, but he was breathing on his own and his heart was beeping along strongly on another monitor. The small chairs were every bit as uncomfortable as Sam remembered. Although, he'd been here far too recently to have forgotten the uncomfortable nature of the hospital in general. He was still waiting for the on-call doctor to come and tell him what had caused Dean's episode. His impatience could be seen in the bouncing of his leg and the bite marks in his knuckle where he'd placed it against his teeth as he waited.

His gaze drifted to the still form in the bed, Sam closed his eyes slowly and ground his teeth together in frustration. There was no evidence that he was responsible for what had happened, but he kept wondering if he kept his inability to control himself that morning could have… His thoughts were interrupted when a tall older man pushed the door open.

"Mr. Wesson?" He asked as he looked at his clipboard and then at the tag at the end of Dean's bed. "Has he been awake at all?"

"Yes, that's me and no, he hasn't woken up yet." Sam rose to his full height as the doctor looked at the monitors and wrote in Dean's chart. He reached out and lifted the bag of saline solution and then glanced over at the heart monitor. He released the plastic and turned so that he could see Sam clearly.

The man stepped forward and held out his hand. "I'm Doctor David Niven, the on-call cardiologist." Sam shook his hand and then allowed his eyes to drift back to Dean. The man was only an inch or so shorter than Sam, the shock of salt and pepper colored hair making him looked distinguished. But it was the bright intelligent blue eyes that captured Sam's interest. "Dean's heart wasn't pumping enough blood through his system. That's what caused the loss of consciousness and the reduced core temperature. We've warmed him back up and given him something to help with the circulation." His expression was warm and sympathetic as Sam's face fell.

It is his heart…

The man reached out and gently touched Sam on the shoulder. "The injury to his heart was severe, Mr. Wesson. It'll take months for his body to repair itself. This was a mild episode and unfortunately, I can't tell you that it'll be an isolated incident. But the EKG suggests that his heart is healing, just more slowly than we'd like."

Sam clenched his teeth together and nodded. "But he will recover?" He blinked slowly as he waited for the man's answer. The doctor's head tilted to the side and he nodded.

"With time…yes, he should recover." Dr. Niven turned back to Dean and frowned at the slightly blue tint to the man's lips. He walked back to the oxygen and turned up the levels as he adjusted the cannula beneath Dean's nose. A sharp intake of breath had him twisting around to look at Sam again. The tall man looked terrified. "It won't be easy, Sam. But he'll get there. Dean's strong and he's already survived the worst of it…now it's just the healing process."

"I can't lose him." Sam whispered.

A small smile played at the corners of the medical man's lips. "We'll do our best to make sure that doesn't happen." He patted Sam's shoulder again and exited the room.

A sigh pierced the silence and Sam sank into the chair near the head of Dean's bed. He wondered if they'd ever get to the point that they could forget this whole thing. A snort followed and he knew that he would never forget.

Sam leaned forward and folded his arms as he rested his head near Dean's hip. Exhaustion assaulted him and he found that fighting it was like fighting a tidal wave…futile.

XXXX

The disjointed feeling that was forcing Dean to keep his eyes closed was all too familiar. Without ever opening his eyelids, he knew that he was back inside the hospital and that they'd pumped him full of drugs. It was a feeling that he'd always hated. When he'd been in the military, he'd been forced to learn about Morphine and several other drugs used on the battlefield for triage. While a lot of his fellow combat medics had enjoyed that portion of their training…he'd always hated it. That loss of control had always scared him.

There had been so few things that he had control of when he'd been a kid, that now he fought giving over control as an adult, with a fierceness that was almost animalistic. It didn't help that his father had used drugs on a couple of occasions to control him…without his knowledge. The inky black feeling that was winding its way through his mind was distinctly unwelcome. He pulled in a couple of shaky breaths as he attempted to wrest control back from the medication. Once he was sure that he had regained it, he pushed his heavy eyelids open.

The room was a typical hospital room. White walls surrounded by a sterile smell that seemed to permeate everything it came into contact with. For a moment, he wondered if he'd somehow managed to damage his eyes. The blurry room slowly coming into focus as he carefully looked around. His gaze caught a shaggy head resting near his right hip. Sammy… He couldn't control his fingers as they drifted down and carded through the soft brown locks.

He memory was a little hazy as tried to recall how he'd wound up back inside these walls. The burn of Sam's lips against his and the passion with which they had clung to one another's bodies raced through his mind. His eyelids dropped shut as he realized that Sam would be blaming himself for Dean's re-admittance into a hospital. A slight shift beneath his hand had him looking at the bright sleepy eyes of Sam as he sat up.

"Dean…" He whispered. Sam's hand darted out and caressed the stubbled face of his beloved. Tears welled up in his eyes and he stood and moved away from the understanding that was shining out of Dean's green gaze.

"Sammy…don't." A pained rasp caught his attention, causing Sam to turn back to Dean. "It would have happened with or without you in there. I'd been feeling off for a few hours, I just didn't realize what it was…now I know."

"Why didn't you say something?" Sam knew enough about Dean to know that he wouldn't say anything unless forced to. One thing that his lover wasn't was open about how he was feeling. That was something that hadn't changed in all the years they'd been together.

"I didn't know what it was…" Dean said with more strength. "I'm sorry."

"No…Dean…I don't want you to be sorry. Just tell me when things aren't right with you. That's all."

The slight dip in Dean's head had Sam crossing back and sitting on the bed. "Oh, yeah...I called Anna. She and Castiel will be back in town on Friday and she said she's headed straight here from the airport. So be prepared. I love you, Dean."

"Thanks for the warning...and I love you too." Initially it had been hard for Dean to say those three little words to anyone but Anna. But through time and understanding, Sam had worn down those defenses and the words now flowed freely from Dean's mouth.

XXXX

Agent Richardson sat at his desk in the FBI's field office. He'd been going over the bombing and he was still having a hard time piecing together what had caused it. They'd been able to find remnants of detonation cord and part of an explosive device. But the problem was, they weren't the type of things used by terrorists…these were military in nature and had no place anywhere near a hospital.

The lack of motive was tripping up his investigation. Pressure was starting to increase from headquarters, the president wanted answers. A bomb had exploded on American soil and the people wanted heads to roll, they just didn't know whose.

His gaze dropped back to the stacks of paperwork and he groaned. Tyler leaned back in his leather chair and scrubbed a hand down his face in frustration. What's the connection here? Why this hospital? Why now? He furrowed his eyebrows, his hand dropping to scatter the papers all over the floor on accident.

"Damn-it!" He swore. Shaking his head, Tyler dropped to his knees and started cleaning up the scattered reports. One caught his attention as he stacked them carefully…Dr. Dean Winchester. He sank back onto his heels and started reading. The good doctor was ex-military. He perused the documents and raised an eyebrow when he read that the man had also been special operations. He'd served overseas on several tours and then finally been released after six long years. The report stated that he was highly decorated and respected among his peers and that he'd been involved in one black-op that had led to the death of another unit. Two men had survived Dean…and another one. The name had been redacted…but now he had a lead. But he would need to talk to the doctor again and then locate this second survivor.

TBC…

Author's Note: Once again, apologies for the length of time separating the last chapter and this one. I working so much lately that it is making getting my writing in, difficult. Hope you guys enjoy the new chapter and thank you to everyone that read and reviewed the last one. I love to hear what you think about the progression of the stories. If you're worried about Dean taking a turn for the worst, don't. It's just that this type of injury to the heart has a lot of side effects until it heals past a certain point.

Please Review: I would just like to know people are still reading this.