Author noteL

I just decided to post the first chapter. I will warn that updates will be quite slow however you will be rewarded by long chapters and a fun time reading!

I had quite a few people expressing their interest and I thought I might as well post the first chapter so you actually have something to read. I sent a preview to a few people and then got bored of it, so sorry if you didn't get a preview... but you get the whole chapter instead!

Disclaimer: I do not own Psych

Shawn curled up in bed and pulled the duvet up higher beneath his chin. Covering his ears with his hands, Shawn rocked himself gently trying to block out the noises coming from downstairs. His parents were shouting again, arguing, so loudly Shawn was sure all of the neighbours could hear them. Shawn was eight years old and he knew that parents weren't supposed to act like this. They had been fighting on and off for about two years now and Shawn hated. Sometimes he silently cried himself to sleep, other times he didn't sleep. Occasionally he ran to Gus' house. Shawn had met Gus when he was six years old and they had been best friends for two and a half years now and Gus' parents always let him stay. They guessed that Shawn's home life wasn't exactly perfect but figured that it would work its self out eventually. They knew that Henry Spencer was a cop and knew that no abuse would come to his own child but they kept a look out just in case. They had no reason to worry, Whenever Shawn was around Gus he was happy and that made them happy. Shawn knew that his parents didn't even notice when he wasn't there, it said something about his father's detective skills, didn't it. It took Shawn hours to get to sleep that night as his parents argued beneath him and unfortunately, he had to get up the next morning for school.

His alarm when off and Shawn rolled over and turned it off. Shawn couldn't hear any movement downstairs which was odd at this time of the morning. Usually his mother would make him breakfast and his father would be making loud noises trying to find his keys. Shawn smirked, he had hidden them last night too. Sill in his pyjamas he bounded down the stairs a few at a time, enjoying the thumping sound. Usually he would get told off for that but this time there was silence. As Shawn went in to the kitchen he realised that his dad had already gone to work. His key's had already been found and his police coat was off the hanger. That solved one mystery.

"Mum?" Shawn called out loudly. No answer.
"Mum!" Shawn tried again but again there was no answer. Maybe she is still asleep? Shawn thought as he bounded through to wake her by jumping on the bed. He landed on the bed but his mother wasn't there. After realising this Shawn looked around the room. He had never seen it in such a mess. Shawn's first thought was that his mum had been kidnapped but even his eight year old mind could figure it out. Her clothes were missing from the rails, her jewellery been taken, the picture that used to hang on the wall with the Spencer family on it. Shawn checked under the bed and found the suitcase missing. She's gone? Shawn realised as he started crying. He curled up in his parent's bed and cried. He only stopped crying when he realised what the time was. He was going to be late for school. Knowing that Gus would kill him if he didn't turn up today Shawn put a speed on. He grabbed some clothes and put them on, he skipped breakfast by grabbing an apple and didn't stop to think what he would be eating for lunch. He didn't bring any of his school books as most of them were at school. It was just a matter of getting there, which was easy enough. Shawn caught the same bus every day to school; usually his dad would drop him off at the bus stop on his way to work. It wasn't a long journey to the bus stop but it was far enough that Shawn ran the whole way there to get there on time.

Shawn had forgotten his bus pass but Shawn gave him a big cute smile and begged him.
"Fine young man. On you get. Next time, bring your bus pass or I can't give you a ride, ok? It's the rules" he explained and Shawn nodded beaming. He quickly found Gus with his head buried in a book.

"Hey Gus!" Shawn greeted him, plonking down in the next seat.

"Hey Shawn" Gus replied, "I'm reading about rockets"

"Like the ones that go up into space?" Shawn asked confused.

"uh huh. We get to watch them take off today remember!" Gus explained with excitement. The idea watching a rocket that could supposedly go into space was too exciting for the eight year olds to imagine.

Shawn didn't stop grinning the whole ride there. Shawn made it through most of his lessons that day without trouble. He was distracted by the rockets that he bounced up and down in excitement and fidgeted all day. Sitting still and learning English was slowly killing him. The teachers began to notice. By the end of the lesson Shawn had fallen asleep and Gus head to wake him.

"Shawn!" He whispered loudly as he glanced at Mrs Donnals who was at the front of the class with her arms folded. Never before had a student fallen asleep in one of her classes.

"Shawn!" Mrs Donnals said right by his ear making him jump.

Shawn looked up and instantly apologised, "Sorry Miss. I didn't sleep well last night"

Gus grimaced knowing what that meant instantly, his parents had been fighting again, Mrs Donnals was unaware and instructed Shawn and Gus to get their lunch boxes out and start eating. Gus began to grab his lunchbox and he looked at Shawn with confusion, he didn't have any bags on him.

"Shawn, where's your lunch?" Gus asked, pulling out his own lunchbox before examing the contents and punching the air. He had a chocolate bar.

"I haven't got any" Shawn told him quickly, trying to ignore his English teacher's gaze. Luckily for him, she didn't question why. She was about to offer when Gus spoke out.

"S'alright Shawn. You can share mine" Gus told him and Shawn grinned happily and immediately reached for the chocolate bar. She would definitely keep an eye on him. Gus wacked his hand away as Shawn moved the tables next to each other.

"Mine" he growled, and Shawn just laughed.

After lunch it was time for the rocket experiments. All of the teachers and students gathered on the field. Due to the age of most of the students, after all it was a primary school; no one was actually aloud to go near the rockets. It was just meant as a fun scientific experiment aimed to get the children more interested about science. They did the same things for English by having reading competitions, after you finished a book you received a gold star and the person with the most gold stars at the end of the year got a prize. Gus had won twice now. Shawn had a total of zero stars, refusing point blank to read a book he didn't have to. Needless to say these fun experiments didn't always work but Shawn was very excited about this one. He stayed behind the line with Gus that the teachers had taped and was jumping in excitement. Shawn noticed the eyes of Mrs Donnals, his English teacher watching him once more and ignored her.

"I'm so excited!" Gus squealed, not blinking as to not miss a single second.

Shawn would have replied me too but Shawn wasn't paying attention to him anymore. Shawn was just staring at the rocket, remembering a time when his parents had time for him and his father actually played with him three years ago when he had just met Gus. Before they started fighting his Dad would spend time with him. Shawn had a good memory and had no trouble getting absorbed in the memory that made Gus instantly worry, prod him and call a teacher over.

"Gentlemen, we are about to embark on the Junior Bobcat Manual's infamous Exercise Number 32, the launching of a solid fuel rocket. Now, one of you lucky grunts is gonna nab this thing, and you're gonna haul ass back to me. The prize? A hot fudge sundae, but if you lose? What does the loser get, Shawn?"

"He gets to look on with envy" Shawn replied, hoping it was right.
" That is correct. He gets to look on with envy, because that, gentlemen, is the American way. On your marks." He started, positioning the rocket.
Shawn and Gus got ready and prepared themselves. Looking into each other's eyes before ahead of them like a race.
"Ready. Set. GO!" Henry announced as he pushed the button and smiled as the two boys ran off in to the distance to find the rocket, before spotting the fence they should have gone through and ran to retrieve the rocket.
Shawn chases Gus into the forest and sees him making out with something. He immediately gives chase but as Gus hands it to Henry, Shawn realises his mistake.

"What's this?" Henry asked Gus with a raised eyebrow and Shawn smirked before starting laughing.

"A parachute" Gus replied clueless.

"You were meant to retrieve the rocket. Where is my rocket" Henry asked and Shawn narrowed his eyes on him.

"It's behind your back, you CHEATER" Shawn shouted and Henry looked genuinely shocked for a moment, wondering how he knew but before he could ponder the question Gus said,

"You took a shortcut" in wonder.

"Prove it" Henry smirked and Shawn just glared at his father which Henry wouldn't lie, it was starting to make him a little uncomfortable.

"I beat you this time, I am eating the Sundae. Ready. Set. Go." His father shouted. Gus ran off to get the rocket and Shawn just stared at his father for a few moments more before turning away and walking in the opposite direction towards the car. Refusing to play his game.

Shawn blinked and started crying, unaware that the rocket's had been delayed temporarily to handle Shawn who had seemingly zoned out. The teachers were containing the other children and directing some of the lower years back to the class rooms. Shawn's mind raced. He knew his mother had left; his father hadn't been around for him in years. All Shawn wanted was approval from his father but his freakiness freaked him out and that memory, a time when they all got a long made Shawn so sad to be reminded of what he could never have. Shawn cried some more and Mrs Donnals carried him to the nurse's room. Gus tried to follow but she stopped him. Shawn stayed catatonic for about twenty minutes, tears running down his cheeks but when he snapped out of it, he was instantly embraced by Miss Pomme, the school nurse who gave him a big hug and stroked his hair soothingly.

"What happened?" he asked and she held him with concern.

"Don't you remember?" she asked soothingly and Shawn shook his head.

"Oh wait, I remember. My Dad was setting of the rocket!" he remembered excitedly and Miss Pomme tensed with dread.

"He was cheating though cos he ran through the gate instead of into the forest like me. Though I lost cos I'm a loser and I have to look on with envy" Shawn remembered, trying to get his father's words engrained into his brain. Perhaps if he kept saying it, it would sink in.

"Look on with envy, look on with envy, look on with envy, look on with envy…"

Miss Pomme was now officially worried. She was sure he had gotten a hallucination and now he was sat there saying the same words over and over again.

"Shawn?" she asked gently, wondering how she was going to get an eight year old to say this.

"Yes Miss Pomme" he replied, looking up at her through his tears.

"I'm gonna make a tiny little prick on your arm, ok? And if you're brave, I'll give you a lolly pop"

Shawn instantly brightened. He wasn't bothered about prick on his arm; anything was worth a lolly pop. Shawn saw the needle and Miss Pomme noticed how he wasn't scared at all, instead he was grinning at her that only made her more uncomfortable. The prick was over quickly and Shawn didn't even flinch, his eyes looked into hers. Shawn noticed that she looked worried instantly thought something might be wrong.

"Is something wrong? Have you not got any lolly pops left? Cos you promised" Shawn whined and Miss Pomme forced herself to smile.

"Of course Shawn" she replied softly walking over to her desk and retrieving a lollypop before handing it to him. Shawn grabbed it without saying thank you.

Miss Pomme hoped it was drugs. She really did. It was a nice easy explanation as to why he would hallucinate and drop down crying. Depending on what drug, it would also explain why he didn't feel any pain when she took a blood sample. Every eight year old should be afraid of a needle.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door

"Enter" Miss Pomme called.

It was Mrs Donnals who walked through the door and once again looked at Shawn.

"How are you doing?" she asked concerned. Shawn just sucked his lollypop and turned his head away, completely ignoring her.

She turned towards the nurse who just shrugged.

"It's been decided that Shawn can go home now" she informed Miss Pomme. "I volunteered to give him a lift"

Miss Pomme nodded in a professional manner and explained to Shawn. "Mrs Donnals is gonna take you home now, ok?"

Shawn just nodded and followed Mrs Donnals out the door as she whispered a silent thank you. Miss Pomme got the blood sample straight to the labs and awaited the result.

Shawn followed her to her car and got in. She had already looked at the records to find out where Shawn lived and had the address memorized. They drove in silence until she decided to try making conversation.

"So how come you didn't have any lunch today hun?" she questioned and Shawn didn't look at her but replied with a single word, "forgot"

Mrs Donnals nodded.

"So are you feeling better after what happened?" she asked again, concerned. Shawn just shrugged as she pulled up outside his house.

"I just can't believe you let my Dad in!" he expressed his disbelief and she frowned confused but then was distracted by Shawn letting himself out of the car. She quickly joined him and walked up to the front door and knocked politely. Shawn shook his head in amusement and reached under the plant pot to get the key. He then opened the door and let himself in. Mrs Donnals followed him in briefly.

"Mr Spencer?" She called out. When no response came she assumed they were home alone and the mess of the house unsettled her but she cleverly kept her mouth shut.

"Do you know your parents numbers?" she asked holding her mobile.

Shawn shook his head and she sighed, expecting that.

"Dad works for the police, just ring 999" he said blandly.

Shawn made himself comfortable, well sort of. He was staring at the blank TV screen like he sometimes did. Remembering one of the episodes that had been on the previous week without realising. After Mrs Donnals finished the phone call to alert Henry she found him laughing at the Tv.

"What's so funny?" she smiled, trying not to let her anxiety show.

"SpongeBob square pants" Shawn laughed pointing at the blank screen, laughing. "He just…. Punched that green guy in the nose"

Mrs Donnals was now scared. A rumbling of the keys alerted to her that Henry was now home and she raced to the front door.

"How did you get in?" He asked rudely.

"Shawn let me in." she explained.

"Where is he?" Henry asked, dumping his bad by the door.

"He's in the lounge hallucinating at the TV screen" she whispered, a little scared.

"What?" Henry paused, shocked.

"He's watching a blank screen" she whispered back again and Henry just had to look for himself.

Shawn didn't even notice that his father was watching him. He was too busy engaging with the program to notice. It broke Henry's heart to notice his son's behaviour and wondered how long it had been going on.

"Thank you. I'll handle it from here" Henry announced quietly.

"The school has announced for a psychiatrist to come and evaluate Shawn this afternoon, just to observe him." Mrs Donnals explained and Henry looked at her in shock. Not anger, shock. Not that her statement surprised him much.

"I know it is terribly inconvenient but we are really troubled by his behaviour. We sent a sample of blood off to the lab so if t is drugs, we'll know"

Henry looked at her shocked. "It's not drugs, I would know" he explained, which only meant the worse option that his kid had some kind of mental condition. Henry knew that if there was drugs in his house, he would know about them.

Mrs Donnals left and Henry moved his work from by the door into the lounge into the same room as Shawn so that he could keep an eye in him. However an hour or so passed and Shawn didn't move as another episode "played". Henry focused on his paper work that he would have been doing at the station so he didn't have to think about the loss of his wife or the current actions of his son, he involved himself in his work until something happened.

The doorbell rang again only too soon and Shawn didn't jump. Henry sighed and stood up announcing that he would get it as he walked to the door.

"Hi, I'm Miss Jones. I am here to observe your son. I am a counsellor at West Haven Psychiatric Centre" she greeted him. Henry frowned and let her in.

"He's in the lounge…I think he's hallucinating at the television screen. Has been for the past few hours" Henry explained being truthful and immediately her curiosity was piqued. She followed Henry through to the lounge and Shawn didn't even notice her coming in. She joined Henry over by the table where his paper work was all set out.

"Can I ask you a few questions first?" she asked politely and Henry looked up from his pile of papers.

"Sure" he responded, only half paying attention.

"What does Shawn's mother do for a living? I assume she's not a stay at home mum as she isn't here"

"She's a psychiatrist" Henry replied without thinking, "Though she left us yesterday. We've been fighting for the past couple of years and she left me last night" he ended sadly, struggling to get the words out and she jotted down some notes.

"That might explain why he fell asleep in English class today" she remarked and Henry looked up in shock. He hadn't realise that Shawn could hear there fights. When fighting with his wife, he completely forgot about Shawn. It was easy to forget about Shawn as between his work and his wife. He didn't have time for much anymore.

"Are you getting a divorce?" she asked delicately. Henry let out a hallow laugh,

"She set out for one. I'll probably get the papers soon" Henry choked.

"What does Shawn usually do in the evenings?"

Henry was glad for the change of subject. "Um… he likes to watch TV"

She noticed his lack of answer.

"I don't usually get in till very late. As you can see, I still have loads of paperwork to do. I am a cop with SBPD. I was promoted two years ago and with the promotion came a lot of extra paper work."

She looked at the mountain of papers and smiled grimly.

"Can't be fun" she remarked.

"No, but it keeps me distracted" he announced before grabbing another paper. "You wanna talk to Shawn?"

She put down her notepad and nodded, "Thank you"

Henry only bowed his head in reply.

Shawn had stayed on the sofa for the entire conversation, still watching the TV. Rarely staying still, every couple of seconds he itched his arm, scratched his head, changed his position on the sofa, leant forwards, laughed, murmured things to himself. Miss Jones found him fascinating to watch.

"Shawn?" she asked quietly but Shawn didn't respond to her, still staring unblinkingly at the blank television screen.
Instead she tried gently rocking his shoulder which usually worked on other of her patients. It was a success and Shawn instinctively snapped out of it.

"Hey!" he complained and Henry turned round to see what was happening. She withdrew her hand. "Why did you turn the telly off?"

Henry grimaced; there was something wrong with his kid. How long and this been going on without him noticing? When Shawn was younger Henry used to do all sorts of things with him. They used to go camping, catch fish and play games in the garden. It was then Henry realised that ever since his promotion he had forgotten about his son. His only son. He left before he went to school and arrived home after he had gone to bed. Henry also worked extra hours at the weekend. How was Henry going to cope on his own?

"Hi Shawn. I am Miss Jones" she introduced herself. Shawn looked at her flatly.

"I was watching that" he stated bluntly.

"Shawn!" Henry called over and Shawn turned slowly, not jumping at the sound of Henry's raised voice.

Shawn looked at him and he said "Be nice"

Shawn sighed, "Yeah I know. Your friends with Miss Pomme from school right? The table in her office told me" Shawn meant that her notebook was on the table when she was getting the needle and Shawn happened to see her name written down.

She blinked. "Oh I see". The table could talk to him? Interesting.

"Then I got a lolly pop" Shawn grinned suddenly.

She smiled, "Do you like lolly pops?"

Shawn was instantly friendlier with the woman. "I love lolly pops! Miss pomme gave me an apple flavoured one which is cool cos Pomme means apple in French" Shawn boasted, showing off his French knowledge to her and she acted like she was impressed.

"Very impressive Shawn" she smiled and Shawn beamed. "Can you tell me what happened this morning?"

Shawn nodded eagerly, still happy from the mention of lolly pops meaning his sad tale was said in a jolly way that would have freaked any sane person out.

"Well I came downstairs and mummy had packed and left for good so I went to find dad but he had already gone to work. I put my clothes on, grabbed an apple and ran to the bus stop. I forgot my bus pass" Shawn admitted whispering in case his father heard he had travelled on public transport without showing his ticket.

"But he let me on anyway!" Shawn giggled.

"Must have been a very kind bus driver" She remarked and smiled at him. Shawn frowned as he remembered what the guy looked like, what was in the trash can and the hidden cabinet.

"Actually I am pretty sure he is a rapist" Shawn shrugged, "and that makes him a not very nice guy!"

Miss Jones frowned slightly. "How do you know what a rapist is, Shawn?" she asked quietly so Henry weren't to hear her.

"Dad brings home cases all the time. He leaves them open on the table and I get to read them." He explained and she was shocked.

"Some of the stuff they do is so fascinating!" Shawn gushed, rolling off into the land of make believe. "You ever hear of the case my dad worked on where he stuffed a dead body in the freezer and froze it? I wondered what would happen if you put a live one in the freezer so I tried it with my pet rabbit. It was soo cool!" Shawn remembered and Henry was staring with disbelief on his face while Miss Jones just looked at him calmly.

"He died in the end though." Shawn recalled sadly. "So I burnt him in the oven so he could rot in hell"

Henry gasped aloud and Miss Jones' eyes widened.

"I see." She paused, "You can watch TV again now Shawn" Shawn smiled and then realised the remote was by the TV. Miss Jones smiled sadly realising that she was correct in her suspicions. After having broken him out of his hallucination, he snapped back to reality and when told to watch TV had to find the remote first. That was a good thing that would help Shawn recover… with extensive therapy and medicated drugs of course.

"Mr Spencer" she called over and Henry came over a bit dazed.

"I really think Shawn should go to West Haven Psychiatric Centre. He will be safe and we will try different combinations of drugs to try and stop his hallucinations and morbid thoughts." She paused, "I really do think this would be best for Shawn. You are too busy a person to look after Shawn properly and he will really benefit from full time care"

"I don't know… I don't wanna…" Henry stuttered. He wanted the best for his son but did he have to send him away?
"Here's my card" she said, handing him her business card. "Take your time to decide" she assured him and she let herself out.

So... can you guess what Henry will decide? Does Henry have a heart? Let me know in your reviews!

REVIEW!

will update again in probably about a week. I will try. Depends how much time i get this weekend! Reviews will always speed the process up though!