The day was almost over…thank God.

Thank whatever God was up there.

Thank whatever God was out there in the world watching over her

Masami could leave as soon as she finished these last reports. Who would have thought that teaching the slower children of the American aristocracy Japanese could generate quite so much paperwork? There must have been an entire rainforest right there on her desk. Notes….so many notes…so many notes that she had to write out by hand…

There were only so many ways to say 'client can't speak Japanese' and only so many ways to pad these stupid reports out. She hated these, The only purpose of these stupid reports, the only purpose they served, were to prove that she spent her work day actually working. God…the fucking working world. She had avoided this, done her best to avoid this, and now…well now she was here. Biology. She had spent four years working on a biology degree and…well she had planned on being a vet actually….but she had been planning on doing a lot of things with her life.

There was no point in thinking about that now.

She clicked her pen. She clicked it off and then on and then off again and then on…and she knew that she was being annoying. The man at the desk across from hers looked up. She pretended not to notice. She pretended that she couldn't see him through her blunt bangs…bangs which she would need to even out at some point….that was something that she could do after she left. When she got home….after dinner…and after she stopped off at the store…for dinner. For dinner and not…well not for Sho. His room was full of cheap toys, things that she would never have gotten for him in her old life, but the only things that she could afford in the life that she had now. Plastic animals and cars and blocks and cheap crayons and colored pencils in the most basic of colors…he was used to professional grade art supplies…and she would do better by him later. Once she got more experience. Once she…well she was almost forty, there was no climbing. If anything she was too old, so old, so old at not even forty yet…

She clicked her pen some more.

She just had one more line to finish. That was it. She just had to scribble out what her plan was to help this student improve. What she wanted to do was take him to the airport, send him off to his own country, and spare the nation of Japan this moron's poor grasp of even the most basic….anything! They were on ma, mu, mi, just….not even full words! Just sounds…and she had no idea how she was even supposed to help and…and wanted to go home but…well she had a plan. She was not going to get a cheap bento, a toy for Sho, and then pass out in front of the TV until tomorrow happened. She was…she was….she was going to trim her hair….and…

And she was going to stop clicking her pen.

"Masaoka-san?" asked the man who sat across from her. His name was….something with a Hi….it didn't matter. She didn't intend to make any friends here. It would just…be too much. She was supposed to be a face in a crowd, at least until her son came back to her and she could leave, or maybe stay….she didn't have a detailed plan right now…but the plan that she did have did not involve making friends with her coworkers….even if it would help serve what little career that she had so far.

"I know, I know. I'm being annoying. I'm sorry." said Masami. She wasn't out to make friends but she wasn't going to turn into the office bitch either. She would rather have been the office antisocial middle aged, nearing middle aged, woman who lived alone. A stale of Christmas cake of a woman. No husband, no children, just a lonely old woman….

Just Masaoka Masami.

"No, I wasn't going to say that….though I think Osa-san is about to reach across that divider and rip that pen out of your hand." Said Hi-whatever his name was. He flashed her a smile. She looked over. There, across the glass divider that separated her part of the desk from the rest of this massive desk they were all expected to share, Osa-san was glaring at her. She put her pen down.

"Thanks for the warning." Said Masami. She flashed a polite smile back. She was many things but she was not a bitch. She flashed him the most polite of smiles. The kind that you had to give someone. An obligation smile. The kind she had been brought up to use…the kind that she had never been able to et Shigeko to use…

Keep it together.

"Anytime." Said Hi-whatever his name was. Masami nodded and then picked up another pen. This one didn't click. This one scratched but it did not click. There. Now nobody would have any reason to talk to her or glare at her or plot the best way in which to end her life. She put her pen to paper…and where had she been? Right. She had to figure out what she was going to do to help the latest moron in a long line of idiots to speak one of the most complicated languages on Earth. A plan. She had to come up with a plan. She had to come up with a detailed series of events for what she was going to do for this person…

Plans weren't her strong suit.

She had never been good at making plans. She had planned on working with animals and now she was here. She had planned on marrying a man who she loved and who loved her in return and now she was here. She had been planning on having one of each a boy and a girl, and now she was here. She was here and any vague plan that she had made was gone and now…now she had a whole new set of vague plans to follow. Her son was coming to her…eventually.

One of these days.

"So…you think we'll get out of here one of these days?" asked Hi-something. God. That had been an obligation smile. That hadn't been a 'keep on talking to me' smile. She just…was tired. She didn't have the energy to talk to a man. She just…it had been a while…but this was not the time for this. She had to prepare for Sho's arrival and…and he would already be upset enough when he came back to her. He would have been ripped away from his father and sister, and also there might have been some hard feelings towards her, and also Fukuda would be back…not that he would be able to stay….no.

Touichirou would hunt him down once Sho went missing...and even if he didn't then having Fukuda around would put a target on her.

And any man she was with would have a target painted on him. She was married…her ring was gone but she was married…and Touichirou had some kind of attachment to her. Even if he never showed it. Even if he didn't even miss her when he left. Even when he described making love to her as…as something pointless….

He was never going to let her go. Ever.

"Yeah…that was lame." Said Hi-something or other.

"What?" asked Masami looking up from the small mountain of pages in front of her. Right. She had gone walkabouts again. She just…maybe she needed more food. She had been living on convenience store bentos, cup noodle, and whatever was in the break room. Maybe she just needed more sleep too, and in an actual bed, and maybe most of all she needed her son back. Maybe once she got him back then…well then things would be better…or she would at least be more present…

Because she would have a hell of a lot to worry about…and she had enough to worry about as it was.

"Nothing. Just making lame office conversation. Carry on." Said Hi-whatever he was called. She looked up at him. She had been kind of a bitch there, hadn't she? She wasn't out to make friends but she wasn't going to ignore people either. She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear as she looked up. Some light, the dying light of the day, caught her in the eye. A nameplate. She had one too…somewhere in this mess. His said….

Whatever it said behind all the crap he had on his desk.

A small plastic bonsai tree, a photograph of a woman and a cat, a stuffed cat, an hour glass that was full to the top…desk clutter. Her desk was cluttered with empty coffee cups, papers, and cups of pens. How did she look to him? Like some old Christmas cake too engrossed in her work? Or maybe a potential friend? To her he looked like just another person….a man around her age….a man who was talking to her. Not that she cared. Men paid her attention all the time, at least they had when she'd been younger, and she just…did not have the time for any of that.

She didn't have the time, the energy, or the inclination.

"I'm sorry…Hi…" said Masami

"Hirai. Eiji Hirai…but it's ok. You've only been here for a few months…and with the turnover we have I don't blame you. It took me two weeks to learn your name and another two weeks to learn that it wasn't Muto-san." said Hirai

"That's…she works on the other side of the office I think…I don't know." said Masami. She felt her pocket her for her phone…she hadn't checked it all day. There might have been news. Today might have been the day…well it was never the day but…but it could come at any time. Then Sho would be back and…and she'd have a lot to figure out but….but her son would be back and that was what mattered the most.

"Sorry, to keep on distracting you like this." said Hirai

"No, I'm the one who's sorry. I've been terribly rude. My mind is…elsewhere. I apologize." Said Masami

"Tell me about it. I thought today would never end. Baby expats….I swear to God I cannot stand these baby expats. They're actually worse than the students. At least the students want to learn." Said Hirai

"Hey, at least the students have a good attitude…underneath all the arrogance. The baby expats can't get the stars out of their eyes long enough to look down at their study sheets." Said Masami

"Oh my God, are you Japanese? Kone-ee-ch-waaah! Say-on-are-uh!" said Hirai in a voice that may have gotten him a genuine smile. She knew that it was genuine because it just….didn't feel right. Odd. Not normal. Abnormal. She couldn't remember the last time she'd smiled like this…well back when…back when things had been better….if they had ever been better….

Her smile fell.

"Yeah, everyone's terrible…excuse me for a moment." Said Masami. She checked her phone and made it look important….and it had been something important. Her phone had been on silent, a rule for the working world, and she had missed….another email. From Fukuda. She pulled her phone in close and read….

France now. Disneyworld again. The kids…well they were playing with rodents…eating Ratatouille…they missed her. Every single day they missed her. Every single day….every single day HE missed her. Fukuda. Touichirou…well it was business as usual for him….he left the kids alone all day so he could work…and the kids missed her and Fukuda…he was no closer to brining Sho to her. He left the kids to their own devices but there were…servants of some kind…around them all the time….and he was so, so, so sorry that this was taking so long…and he missed her every day…and he loved her…

She clicked her phone off.

He loved her and he missed her every day. He wished that things could have been different. He wished that things could have been better. He wished that things could have ended differently. He wished that…well that a lot of things had been different between them. If wished were fishes then they would have all had a good dinner. They just…she just…he just…this whole thing was just…she missed him. She missed him and…and she would always be grateful to him for the time that they had spent together….but she just…

The only times she thought of him were when she thought of Sho…

He was going to bring back Sho. She kept that thought in her mind. He would…one day he would bring her back Sho and then…well and then everything would be better. She would…well she would have to worry about how to feed and clothe him and put him in school and hide him from Touichirou and…well it would be a lot to worry about but…well at least they would be together…

She could even take him to Disneyworld if he wanted.

"Bad news?" asked Hirai. Masami wondered if everyone in the working world was this nosy.

"No. Just….news. Excuse me. I have to get this last report finished up." Said Masami

"Do you need some help with it? I know how these reports can be." Said Hirai

"No, no, I have this. I just have to come up with an action plan, that's all, and then I'll be done." Said Masami. She looked back down at her work and let her hair fall over her face. She wondered if this guy was allergic to getting a clue. She was done. She was done talking and…and she was so tired. Tired of talking, tired of working, tired of waiting, tired of…of her life. This had barely been her life, Masaoka Masami's life, and she was already so tired of it. She just had to get done with this so she could go home, eat whatever bento was on sale today, pick up another toy for Sho…they had spiders that stuck to walls he'd like that or maybe the lizard with the tongue that popped out, and then cut her hair and…and wait for tomorrow to happen. So little happened….but then how could it be so exhausting?

It was a lot….and a little…and a lot.

"Masaoka-san….I know it's not really your thing but a bunch of us are going to a bar after work and I was wondering if you wanted to come along." Said Hirai. Masami did her best not to sigh.

"I don't drink." Said Masami. Not a total lie. She didn't have the money to waste on bars and drinks so she didn't drink. She would let this guy think whatever he wanted to think. Let him think that she was one of those anti-alcohol crusaders or something. Let him think that she was crazy or boring or old before her time or a proper lady or whatever. Just so long as he didn't think that she was interested.

Because he wasn't.

Sure, fine, he had the tall dark and handsome thing going on…but that was…whatever. She didn't have the time for this. She didn't have the energy for this. All of her time and all of her energy went to Sho. She had to think of Sho. She had to spend all of her time and energy making a life for him. He was her son and he came first. He had always come first. That was why she had done…what she had done. That was why she'd had to leave him, so she could make a better life for him, and that was what she was going to focus on.

Not the annoying man sitting on the desk across from her.

"They have soft drinks and milk shakes and teas." Said Hirai. Masami wondered what happened in men's minds. What happened that kept them from getting even the most basic of clues? God…Touichirou had been the same way….well sort of. He could take no for an answer, and he wasn't pushy, but he also was…persistent…if that made sense. He was the sort of man who would send you a hundred of your favorite flower just because….or take you to the nicest place in town, let you run up the bill, and then quietly ask you if he could hold your hand when it was all over…and then when you said next time then instead of telling you to fuck off he asked you when the next time could be…and he could be so quiet and shy and his face could get so red and….

And she did not have the energy for this right now.

"I'm….tired. It's been a long day for me. Maybe next time." Said Masami. She knew that, if this was a work thing, the rule was that you went where the boss wanted to go and you did what the boss wanted to do and you prayed that you made the last train home. Well she didn't have the money or the time or the inclination. She had to get home and eat and…and dust Sho's room…and also she had to…well her hair was getting kind of long so she had to cut it…and that was a lot. She had a lot to do and she was going to do it….

And there wouldn't be time or energy left over for a next time.

She scribbled down something an ended the report. There. That was the end of it. The report was done and now she could…she could leave. She saw the others collecting by the door…and she could have gone with. She had…well she had enough for one drink but…well that money was for Sho. Everything that she made had to go to him. The money she spent on a single drink could go to something new for him to play with or wear or….or whatever.

She went straight home.