A/N: I'd like to thank everyone who is reading and reviewing this story and also tell Argentum that his/hers last review has given me a great idea for this chapter! Oh yeah, there's a lot more drama waiting for you, guys! Hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 19 – Restarts

– Three weeks later

Xavier's School for the Gifted Youngsters, Salem Center, New York.

"Hank, did you want to see me?" Jean asked from the lab's doorway.

"Yes, I did. Please come in," he told her, using his feet to shove some stools out of the away to make room for the baby stroller she was pushing. He glimpsed inside and noticed that Rachel was peacefully sleeping. "Have a seat," he whispered, motioning to a chair.

"Thanks. Is everything all right?" She questioned, her voice revealing a hint of worry.

"Everything's fine. How is your telepathy training with Charles?"

"It's great. The professor's been showing me new creative ways of using my powers."

"I'm glad to hear that, because I have a proposal for you," he informed her, and Jean raised an eyebrow.

"If this is about me becoming an X-Man, I've already told Professor Xavier that I'm not interested. My priority is taking care of my daughter," Jean explained, ready to stand up and leave.

"I'm aware of that," Beast said, laughing softly at the redhead's misguided assumption. Her impatience reminded him too much of Logan. "Rachel's not even two months old. I wouldn't dream of endangering her zealous mommy with any type of hazardous team duties."

"Right. Sorry, I'm a little edgy today… Rachel's cried the entire night and I couldn't get much sleep. Anyway, what's this proposal about?"

"Well, I'm familiar with the fact that you have been unfairly denied of your Medical School diploma. Nonetheless, you are a qualified physician, and a very competent one, from what I've been told."

The telepath blushed at his complement. "Thanks. Not very experienced, though."

"Only time can provide experience to any working man, Dr. Grey," he stated, kindly using her deserved title to address her. "To cut a long story short, how would you like to officially assist me regarding the team's health issues?"

"I'd love to!" The redhead replied without thinking twice, a smile forming on her beautiful features. "It's the least I could do, after everything the X-Men have done for me."

"Your enthusiasm is highly appreciated. However, I must warn you that such an occupation may become quite stressful. You would be required to aid me whenever a team member gets sick, or wounded… And, with the pace of training lately, I would say it could happen rather often," Dr. McCoy clarified.

"I can do that," Jean considered, "between taking care of Rachel and feeding her and Nathan, I mean."

"Of course," his blue lips curved up in a soft grin. "And when you're not feeling too exhausted, I could also use your help with the antidote's production. That would confer our ingenious friend Forge more time to focus exclusively on finishing the conduit."

A frown formed on Jean's face. "You still haven't got it figured out, huh?"

"Unfortunately, its development is taking more time than we have anticipated. So far, we weren't able to create an efficient enough device to spread the antidote over the whole country at once," Beast lamented, obviously disappointed. "Anyhow… The laboratory isn't exactly noisy, as you can currently notice. Moreover, it is quite safe. You could maintain Rachel here, near you, while working."

"That would be nice."

"So… is it a yes?" Hank asked, his furry brows darting up.

"It's definitely a yes. When do I start?"

"Tomorrow," he said, noticing the purple circles around her eyes. "Today you should go to bed and rest. Doctor's orders."

xxxxx

A couple of days passed, and Xavier's front lawn became speckled with snow. It was a chilly Friday morning, the outside weather perfectly complimenting the mood inside the mansion. The X-Men were gathered in the War Room, attentively hearing Charles' considerations on what the team's next steps should be. A violent attack against a mutant friendly community in Austin had taken place the day before with many casualties, both human and mutant. By the time the Blackbird landed on the battle scene, Magneto and his acolytes were already there, making sure the F.O.H. regretted the assault. The team's late arrival had occurred due to a simultaneous anti-mutant raid happening in Tampa. It had cost many lives to humans and mutants alike.

"We currently have twelve highly-trained field members. I believe the best course of action would be to split the X-Men into two strike forces, in case a similar situation presents itself in the future," Professor X pondered. "Nightcrawler, what is your opinion on this matter?"

"I agree with you, professor. Although I zhink we must spare Beast from field work, at least for now," the German mutant opined.

McCoy was the next to speak. "I concur with Kurt, Charles. Forge and I should devote our time exclusively to the antidote's development. God knows how challenging that has proved to be so far."

"Very well. That still leave us with ten skillful combat members," Xavier said, staring at his pupils' faces for a moment. "Nightcrawler will remain as the field leader of the Blue Team. He will be joined by Gambit, Rogue, Polaris and Havok," he decided. "The Gold Team will be formed by the remaining X-Men. Storm, Iceman, Jubilee and Angel, you will be led by Cyclops."

Scott's eyes widened. "M-Me? Professor, uh… can't someone else take the leadership? I'm by far the least experienced member of the X-Men."

"And yet, you've proved to be a great strategist and a quick thinker during our many practices in the last couple of months. I trust you, Scott. And so does the team," Charles reasoned, and the nods coming from his teammates confirmed the professor's opinion.

Yet, Cyclops didn't seem convinced of his leading skills. "I appreciate your trust, sir. But I'm not sure I'm the best person for the job."

"Are you nuts, man? You always kick ass during training, and you point us in the right direction all the time," Iceman complimented.

"You do, bro," Havok confirmed.

"Thanks, I guess," he said, but the line of worry on his forehead didn't vanish. "What about Nathan? What if something happens and my son needs me while I'm away?"

"We would never ask you to put the team's welfare over your baby's needs, Cyclops. But if the Gold Team is needed somewhere, I'm sure Ms. Grey wouldn't mind looking after Nathan for a couple of hours. She did take care of him yesterday during the Texan mission, didn't she?" Charles pointed out.

"She did, but I can't ask this of her permanently. Jean's got her own duties," Scott explained.

Kurt intervened. "Let's try zhis way for now, Scott. You agree to be zhe Gold Team's field leader and, in case you can't join zhe X-Men in battle because of your son, Storm will temporarily take over zhe leadership."

"What? Me? Are you out of your mind, Wagner?" Ororo looked horrified.

"That's an excellent idea. Storm has also proved to have great instincts in many of our practices," Xavier commented, endorsing Nightcrawler's suggestion. "It's decided, then. I'm scheduling a Danger Room session to test the team's division in about an hour. You're dismissed until then."

The X-Men stood up and started leaving the room. Scott and Ororo exchanged concerned looks, the wind rider placing a hand over Cyclops' shoulder. "What have we put ourselves into, my friend?"

xxxxx

Later that afternoon, after the lab work was done for the day, Jean headed to the rec room with an upset Rachel in her arms. The girl had been crying for the last thirty minutes, to her mother's dismay. Hank had diagnosed her with a common tummy ache and had given her some anti-spasmodic medicine. When the redhead entered the room, she found a disheveled Scott Summers already inside, struggling to convince his son in the baby chair to swallow his soup.

"Hey," she greeted them, flinching at Rachel's piercing cries. Scott's and Nathan's eyes followed the woman as she sat on the couch a few meters away and laid her daughter on the cushion beside her.

"Hi, Jean," the man said, not missing her worried features. "What's wrong with Rach?"

"Stomach cramps," she replied while trying to ease her daughter's pain by gently massaging her belly.

"Oh, I don't miss those," Scott told her and turned his eyes back to his son's face. "Eat the soup, Nate!"

"No!" The baby shouted, shaking his head.

"This isn't open for debate, young mister. Eat your dinner, now," his father ordered, but the boy pushed the hand holding the spoon away.

"Dada… No!" Nate scowled.

Scott sighed, and Jean noticed that his patience was slipping away. "Tough parenting day, huh?" She asked between Rachel's sobs.

"Tell me about it," the man responded, and added. "In moments like this I get the urge to blast every damn person who's ever said that being a single parent isn't a big deal."

The woman scoffed. "Right. I'm sure none of them ever had to feed their babies and make tummy cramps disappear after a whole day of work by their own."

"Exactly. Five spoons to go, kid," Scott tried once again to make Nathan open his mouth. "I guess I shouldn't be complaining, though. Maddie and I argued about a lot of things, but until she went back to work, we never had issues regarding sharing baby duties."

"Lucky you," Jean's voice sounded drained and unusually sour. Scott side-glanced her, and after a couple of seconds, found the courage to ask.

"Do you think it would be different?"

Rachel's cries were gradually ceasing, and the redhead glimpsed tiredly at her watch. It was breastfeeding time, again. She picked her daughter up and positioned her close to her chest, the girl's mouth quickly surrounding her left nipple. Soon after, the baby started sucking. "What do you mean?" She questioned back, letting her head fall backwards until her nape was resting against the soft back cushion.

"If Wolverine was around… Do you think he would help you with Rachel?"

The telepath closed her eyes for a moment and drew in a deep breath. "I honestly don't know," she said, bringing her head up to look back at Scott. "Logan could be very caring, but I know that becoming a father was never in his plans," Jean told him. "He made it clear he would never leave the X-Men to stay with us. And ironically, he didn't think twice before abandoning the team to get away from us."

Scott managed to make his son swallow two spoons in a row. "I never had the chance to meet Wolverine in person, but I've noticed people tend to idolize him around here."

"Humph. That's because they've never dated him," Jean scorned. "Logan could be two completely different persons. One that was funny, selfless and charming - the one I fell in love with; and another that behaved like an aggressive, impulsive, lying bastard - I could barely recognize him those days. You have no idea how many times I begged him to be honest with me," Jean said, baring her heart to the man before her. "Now tell me, Scott… How can someone like that be in a steady relationship, let alone act like a father? So, answering your question… No, I don't think Logan would wake up at night to calm his crying baby, or spend several minutes trying to feed her some damn soup she doesn't want to eat," the redhead revealed. She had to wipe a couple of angry tears from her face after she was done talking.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Scott said, truthfully. Suddenly, Nate hit his right fist on the bowl, spattering soup all over himself, the baby chair and the floor. "Nathan Christopher Summers!" His father yelled angrily, prompting the boy to start crying. "Damnit!" Scott stood up from his chair to grab some paper towels and clean up the mess. "Look at what you've done, Nate! You naughty boy!"

"No!" The toddler sobbed, adding tears to the stains of soup on his blouse. Scott picked him up from the baby chair and put him on the floor to properly wipe his clothes, kneeling in front of the boy. But as soon as Nate's feet had touched the carpet, he staggered across the room towards Jean, clutching at her legs with his little dirty hands.

"Nathan, come back here," he heard his daddy's stern voice behind him.

"Hey, sweetie," the woman was holding Rachel with her left arm, and used her right hand to clean away a tear from the boy's reddened cheek. "You should obey your daddy."

But the toddler didn't stop crying, nor turned around to look at his father. Instead, he gave a wary glance to the small baby girl sucking Jean's breast and held his arms up. "Na-Nate," he uttered between sobs.

Scott threw the dirty towels on the baby chair and stood up to move in his son's direction. "It's dinner time, Nathan. You'll be nursed before you go to sleep."

The boy didn't seem to understand that and kept weeping and gazing at the woman, his arms still up. Then he voiced. "Ma-ma."

Jean and Scott froze. They locked eyes for a moment, nervously, and after two long seconds, Cyclops spoke.

"That's it, Nathan. You're grounded," he picked his son from the floor and quickly turned around to exit the rec room. Jean's eyes became wet again as she heard Nate's cries escalating while his father dragged him away from the room. She glanced down at her own baby and thought, horrified. 'Oh God. What have I done?'

xxxxx

Dinner was served about an hour later, but Scott didn't show up for it. He had been busy bathing his upset son and putting him to sleep. He was mad at himself for scolding a ten-month-old for misinterpreting a situation that was probably confounding even for adults. Nate's mom had died six months ago. Jean had been feeding him for the past thirty days or so. It hadn't been Nate's fault. It hadn't been anyone's fault.

Frustrated, Scott felt the need to let off some steam. He turned the baby monitor on and closed the bedroom door behind him. He was feeling angry and guilty, doubting his recent choices as a father and a widow. Maybe joining the X-Men hadn't been the smartest idea. 'Not so dumb as to let a strange breastfeed your son,' Cyclops pondered. No, it wasn't Jean's fault. She was only trying to help. It was his fault. But he too was only trying to help. It wasn't anyone's fault.

With his mind unfocused, Scott arrived in the mansion's gym. He adjusted the volume on the baby monitor receiver to maximum level and pushed the start button on the treadmill. He began to run, increasing the speed until his legs burned and his breathing became so fast that he couldn't think of anything else but the rhythm of his own pace. He didn't hear when Angel spoke to him.

"Hey, Cyclops, are you even listening?" The blond mutant had to step in front of the treadmill to be noticed.

"Oh, sorry, Warren," Scott pushed down the red button, and the machine slowly came to a stop.

"Jesus, man. What's gotten you so out of your head?" Worthington threw him a bottle of water, which Cyclops grasped midair.

"Thanks," he opened the cap and started swallowing the cool liquid in big gulps.

"Is this about the leadership thing? Or is it about Jean?"

Scott choked in the water. "What?"

"Jean. You know, the smart, sexy green-eyed redhead."

The brown-haired mutant narrowed his eyes. "Funny," he said, stepping out of the treadmill, and giving his opposite a suspicious look. "Are you some kind of telepath now?"

"Not really. I'm just good at reading people," he explained. "Plus, I know Jean better than myself. She looked like a ghost during dinner, and you weren't around. I figured something had happened between the two of you."

"So, you came down here to warn me not to screw up with your friend?" Scott asked, annoyed and offended.

"Man, chill out, will you? I only came here to talk," Warren raised his palms in defense. "Jeannie can take care of herself. Besides, I doubt you could beat Logan in screwing up with her. He's mastered the art of breaking her heart."

"I've heard a thing or two about it," Cyclops used a towel to wipe the sweat out of his face and neck. "Not that I owe you any explanation, but this is not what you think it is. There's nothing going on between Jean and me. As a matter of fact, this isn't about her, or even me. This is about Nathan."

"Oh," Warren furrowed his brows in worry. "What happened?"

Scott sighed. "He called Jean 'mama'. And I'm pretty sure he was jealous when she was breastfeeding Rachel."

"I'm sure a lot of guys in this place are jealous of Rachel," Angel teased, earning an angry gaze from his opposite. "I'm kidding, man," he gave a small laugh, and then became serious again. "But damn, that must've been embarrassing. What did Jean say?"

"Nothing. We haven't spoken since."

"Well, you should," Angel advised. "You two seem so… comfortable together. It would be a shame if something as silly as this became an obstacle to your… friendship."

Scott regarded him with confusion. "So… you're not here to tell me to stay away from her?"

Warren grinned, his white teeth glowing under the gym's bright lights. "I wouldn't dream of it. First, because Jean would skin me alive - you don't wanna be on the receiving end of that redhead's wrath, I'll tell you that. Second, because you seem like a nice, decent guy, and she could use someone who treats her right for a change."

"I'm assuming you're not one of Wolverine's biggest fans."

"As an X-Man, I'd follow Wolverine's orders in battle without hesitation. But when it comes to Jeannie, Logan's always been a total dick," Worthington told him. "I never thought he was good enough for her."

"Huh," Scott reflected for a moment. "What about you? Aren't you good enough for her?"

The blonde shook his head. "Been there, done that, fell in love with another. Jean's so unique she didn't even get mad when we broke up… I guess that's because I've always been honest to her. She hates lies, you know?" Angel tipped off and went back to Cyclops' question. "But no, I'm not good enough for her either. She deserves better."

"Well, as I've told you, Warren, there's nothing going on between us," Scott insisted, tossing the empty plastic bottle in the trash can and moving to the weight-lifting machines.

"Right," the winged mutant muttered, unconvinced. "Either way, you should talk to Jean about this situation with Nathan," he counseled, heading for the door. "And remember, Scott… no lies."

xxxxx

It was past eleven o'clock. Jean was feeling exhausted, but every time she closed her eyes she would see Nate's face saying the word 'mama', followed by his desperate sobs. The little boy obviously missed his mother, and his sadness and confusion were breaking her heart. She wondered if Rachel would ever miss her dad when she became a bit older… She turned around in bed and looked at the crib beside her, where her daughter was quietly sleeping - no more tummy ache episodes, at least for now. Thank God for that.

In about an hour she would have to feed her again - there was no point in trying to sleep. She threw the thick covers away and put on a robe over her pajamas, fixing her long red tresses into a high ponytail; then she grabbed the baby monitor receiver and headed to the kitchen to make herself some chamomile tea.

The mansion's halls were completely silent as Jean walked across them. She used telekinesis to turn on the kitchen's lights and prepare her beverage. She pulled the tall stool from under the counter and sat on it while waiting for the water to boil. Yawning, the redhead thought about how her life had changed… A year ago, on an off-duty Friday night, she would probably be in bed with Logan, making love until dawn. Just thinking about his hands roaming over her naked body made her shiver… That man knew exactly how to make her crazy with wanton. But he also knew how to make her crazy with rage… Jean sighed. How could an exciting relationship like theirs have turned into something so fucked up? Then she remembered the lies, the secrets, the deadly looks and sharp claws… She shivered again, this time from fear. Where the hell was Logan now, anyway? Was he even alive? Yes, of course he was. She'd been inside his mind - she knew that Wolverine wasn't easily killed.

Suddenly, the kettle whistled, snapping Jean out of her daydream. Too tired to get up, she used telekinesis to open the cupboard's door and grab a teacup, bringing it towards her with invisible hands.

"Oh, I didn't know you were up," a deep, familiar voice echoed through the kitchen, making her jump off the stool, startled. Her concentration faltered, and the cup started falling in the middle of the kitchen. Two inches before it hit the floor, Jean stopped it with her mind.

"Jesus," she muttered between her teeth, placing her right hand over her fast-beating heart.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you," Scott apologized, striding towards the hovering cup and bending down to clutch it. "Here," he handed the unharmed object to the telepath.

"Thanks," she managed to say. She moved towards the kettle, deciding it was safer to finish preparing the tea with her two hands.

Meanwhile, Cyclops opened the fridge's door and poured himself some orange juice. "Couldn't sleep?" He asked over his shoulder.

"No," the redhead answered quietly and sat back on the bench, watching the hot water becoming yellowish inside the cup.

Scott turned around and leant his lower back against the kitchen countertop. "Neither could I," he told her, even though she hadn't asked.

Silence followed. Jean drank her tea, and Scott drank his juice. He finished first and reached for the upper cupboard to retrieve a big round can - a baby formula can.

"You didn't bring Nate to me tonight," the redhead spoke softly, trying her best not to sound accusing.

"No…," the man spun around to look at her face, "I didn't know if I should. Besides, I had to put him to bed earlier… right after dinner."

"I-I'm so sorry, Scott," Jean sobbed, green eyes suddenly wet. "I never meant to step into your wife's shoes. I-I swear to God, I didn't mean for him to think I'm his mom…" She shook her head as she spoke, tears of guilt running freely from her eyes by now.

Cyclops' heart broke at the sight of the crying woman. "Hey, it's all right, Jean," he walked towards the counter and sat on the vacant stool beside her. "It's all right. I know you didn't mean for it to happen… It's actually my fault."

"Oh, Scott. How can it be your fault? You only suggested that I fed Nate to help me with Rachel… And my daughter's alive and healthy partially thanks to your gesture," she bent her head down, sniffing. "Now Nate will be deprived of breast milk again… I can't believe I screwed this up for him."

Scott turned his upper body toward her and pushed her teacup aside, putting his right elbow over the counter instead. He used his right thumb and index finger to raise the redhead's chin, forcing her to stare back at him. "Jean, listen… You haven't screwed up anything. On the contrary, you've provided Nate with a healthy, caring experience," he told her, but she didn't stop crying. "Look, I was as shocked by what he said as you were… Hell, I don't even know how he learned that word. But I wouldn't change anything we've done so far."

"Y-You wouldn't?" She asked in disbelief.

"Of course not. What we did helped both our kids, and that's what really matters." He then remembered what Warren had told him a few hours ago. "I'm being totally honest here. You can look inside my mind if you want to."

She gazed into his gentle brown eyes and shook her head. "No, I… I believe you," she said, sounding calmer.

"Good," he rested his hand back on the counter. "I've been thinking about what happened earlier… How to make this situation less confusing for Nate. What if you nursed him only at night, instead of three times a day? I could switch back to formula in the morning and afternoon. He's already eating almost everything for lunch and dinner anyway."

"He didn't seem to like dinner this evening," the telepath observed.

"That's because his daddy's a lousy cook," he said and smiled, causing the woman to let out a small laugh. "But I'm going to get better at it," Scott promised. "Please, think about it, Jean… It would give you more time to work, rest and be with Rachel."

"I don't mind feeding Nate three times a day, Scott. I can keep doing it," she told him.

"I know you can, but you don't have to. Once a day is good enough for him," he argued. "So, what do you say?"

"I…," she sighed. "Okay, then… If that's what you prefer…" She wiped her tears with the heel of her hands, the chamomile tea cold and forgotten somewhere over the counter.

"It is," he nodded, raising his hand to brush a loose strand of ginger hair away from her face, his fingers lingering on her smooth skin. Scott's touch was soft and warm, and Jean's gaze unconsciously shifted to his semi-open lips…

"Ahh, ain't the two of you cute together?"

Scott and Jean abruptly moved away from each other, spinning around to stare at Jubilee in shock. The girl was standing in the middle of the kitchen with her hands on her hips and a reproving look on her face. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Cyclops? It wasn't enough that you took Wolvie's position in the team, now you're trying to take his girl?" The teenager chided in an angry tone, turning to Jean next. "What about you, princess? Don't you have a baby to look after? Oh yeah. Logan's baby!"

Jean shot out of her stool, all embarrassment gone and substituted by sheer fury. "Who the hell do you think you are, girl?" She put a finger on Jubilee's face, making the nosy teenager recoil in fear. "What I do with my life and with my child's life is none of your damn business," the redhead hissed, stomping towards the kitchen's door. "By the way… in case you haven't noticed, your hero Wolvie is NOT coming back. Not for me, not for his daughter, and certainly not for you, princess."

The cupboard's doors were suddenly slammed shut, making Jubilation startle. "Jesus! That woman's got a temper!" She spoke aloud, protectively rubbing her arms and side-glancing Scott.

"You deserved it, young lady," Cyclops scolded her, descending from the stool to finish preparing Nate's bottle. He too looked irritated. "Next time, mind your own business."