True Love's Gift
Chapter 12
(Regina's Point of View)
After a few blurred days in bed, I groggily stumbled my way into the kitchen, still a bit weak from my overdose but feeling leaps and bounds better than before. I walked in to be met by loud clanging & curse words flying through the air like bullets in a war – I rubbed my temples, a headache instantly surging through my brain at the noise.
"What the hell are you doing kid?! " I grumbled loudly seeing a frustrated Arena sitting up on the counter, focusing hard on whatever she was leaning over.
"I'm trying to get this damn thing to work but I just can't figure it out!" Her voice was absolutely exasperated as she huffed out the words "When Archie was here he got this yummy dark, hot liquid to come out of that machine that we put milk & sugar in but I can't get the stupid thing to work, I've been trying the past 5 days but just can't get it to work!" She pouted crossing her arms and sighing heavily as she sat upon the marble counter top, her light brown hair stuck to her slightly sweaty forehead from the determination in which she had been working. I can't help but chuckle at her disgusted expression and angered posture.
"Well first of all get off of my counter." I point demandingly with a tiny smirk as she rolls her eyes jumping down "I'll show you how then your little heart can be at peace."
Even though she scoffed slightly at my sarcasm with a huffed breath, hands on hips in attitude – I couldn't help but smile at the small laugh that escaped her lips. She leaned against the counter, very close to me as a I showed her how to work the coffee pot; at first her nearness caused me to become extremely stiff and uncomfortable but soon I relaxed enjoying the company that was choosing to be close to me, to learn from me & to find my presence useful & enjoyable – something Henry wouldn't have done if I begged him on my hands & knees. I sighed shaking the thought away as I pressed the 'on' button and turned to her with a smile.
"Tadah!" I was shocked when the word came out in an accomplished and happy singy song voice "easy as that!"
"Unbelievable, I can't believe I couldn't figure something so simple out." She rolled her eyes glaring at the machine "well Rumpled used to always say 'Arena it's a good thing you're pretty because you aren't very smart'…I guess he was right."
Despite the mask of a slight laugh, I could clearly see the humiliation and blow to her pride as her eyes shot to the ground and remained glued to the hardwood floor – utterly embarrassed by her ignorance, much like I had been years ago when Rumple was still my instructor in magic and would give me a task to complete and I wouldn't perfectly execute it on the first try. I remember his relentless mocking, how he made me feel like I was an inch tall, stupid & worst of all, worthless.
"Hey, look at me…" I softly said looking into the dumbfounded chocolate eyes , she stiffened slightly at my touch but within mere moments relaxed almost naturally to the affection " Not knowing how to do something doesn't make you a fool Arena , it makes you human and that is okay, we all have to learn and we all make our mistakes…God knows I have…" I sigh deeply before continuing " Don't you dare let failure shame you into feeling worthless, let it be the fuel that drives you to try again & come back with a vengeance to do better and succeed!"
"I just feel like I should've figured it out on my own..."
"Honey it's okay to ask for help, my God you were locked up for your whole life in two worlds, I don't think your lack of coffee maker knowledge makes you some kind of idiot "I chuckle a bit, a slight smile touches her lips as she gives a slight nod at the revelation "You're more than a pretty face Arena – you have a brilliant mind, determined spirit and above all, a beautiful heart."
My last words were delicate and soft as I moved a silky strand of hair out of her eyes, gently tucking it behind her ears and stroking her cheek with my thumb, suddenly overwhelmed and enthralled with looking in her eyes – examining her face structure. There was something so special, something within the deep of her crying out to the deep of me , making my heart ache like it hadn't since…well in a very long time.
"Regina?" Her tiny voice snapped me out of my haze as I yanked my hand away from her face, wiping it on my pants leg as though I had just touched something toxic "thank you so much."
Suddenly her arms were wrapped around my waist, her head on my shoulder as she warmly hugged me. My whole body tensed in an almost panic as I braced for some sort of pain that I was sure would come. I didn't return the embrace but instead patted her a bit on the back, more in disbelief and awkwardness than disgust at the unusual and unexpected gesture. I pulled away slowly from her, thankful she caught my cue and did the same. We both crossed our arms in sync looking down with a slight laugh before sheepishly looking up at each other.
"Well dear I'm off to town." I suddenly proclaim, feeling an odd sense of nerves and pressure.
"Oh…okay "her face fell for a reason I didn't understand "Do you need my help? Is it even safe for you to go out alone amongst the people?!
"I'll be fine on my own "I smile, confident of myself as I walked into my office, she follows close by like a little lost puppy "those peasants fear me, they know it's only a matter of time until I figure out my little 'power issue "and then there's no hope for their pathetic souls."
I felt the evil queen rise in me as I learned forward over my desk grinning murderously into space at the delightfully devilish though of them suffering yet again under my rule; I, however, instantly regretted the words upon seeing the look of horror on Arena's face as she stepped back from me, trembling slightly, the earlier trust replaced with legs ready to run. I sighed disappointed in my lack of self-control as I opened the top drawer of my desk taking out her necklace.
"I'm taking this to Gold's shop to have it examined and cleaned, I'll be back at noon, and we'll have lunch then." I shortly say throwing my coat on and tucking the necklace safely in my pocket "Goodbye dear."
I turned from her quickly making my way toward the door.
"Goodbye your majesty."
Her words were shaking with fear and full of reverence, I should've been pleased, however as I stood stopped dead in my tracks by them all I could feel was deep grief as my stomach turned at her soft , trembling voice. She still saw me as a monster, feared for her life when she was with me, saw me as the enemy but then again, who didn't? Hell I scared myself when I would go into one of my violent rages , I would look into the mirror taken aback by what I had become – who was this beast draped in diamonds, clothed in silk, surrounded by gold and full of empty? I don't know her – in fact with every fiber of my being I loathe her.
Closing my eyes I took in a deep breath, cracking my neck and clenching my fists before walking forward. I would prove to her I was better than what had been said, that there was still good in me – I would find her mother if it was the last thing I did, my hope in doing this random act of charity, this selfless act of kindness, is that I wouldn't only find her lost mother but that I perhaps could find myself again as well. I had died every day as the evil queen for decades; I was ready to live out the rest of my days as Regina.
Once out of sight I managed enough magic to cloud myself into Rumplestiltskins shop. I arrived engulfed in purple smoke and fully of fury over what he had done, what he had taken from this little girl. A fire for justice burned within me like I had never known before, at least not since Snow White had taken my one true love from me. Today, however, I only had hate and contempt at this cowardly crocodile who ripped this child from her mother but also who stole the childlike spirit out of me when he turned my innocence into evil, my good to wicked, my ability to love to an ice cold bitterness that left me unable to receive or give love – he took the good in my and I would make him pay.
"GOLD!" I screamed, busting through his back door office.