Hey guys, this will probably be the last chapter I post as a teenager. The one after will probably be after I turn 20 (which is scary as heck XD). I hope you enjoy. The reason I took so long was because I realised after I wrote it that I've put something in too early so I've had to take it out and make a lot of changes so sorry it won't be as good as the other chapters. Thank you so much for the reviews, favourites and follows :D
Thank you to xVentressx, lizziecats, CodeSixty, Bee4ever, and guest viewer: Virus.
Guest reviewer-Virus: I loved this chapter, can't wait for the next one.
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"Leave it Sideswipe," says Ironhide roughly.
"I just want to know her secret. How did she manage to convince Ratchet to not check up on her after a bullet wound?!" exclaims Sideswipe through Ironhide's radio.
I'm sitting in the front seat of Ironhide as he drives with Lennox in the driving seat. We've been driving for the last few hours and I've just been staring out of the window. Sideswipe's been pestering me for a bit wondering how I got out the of the Hatchet's claws. I refuse to answer him and I stare out the window watching the world blur by.
"Come on, I know you want to know too," insists Sideswipe childishly.
"Admit it, yo-" starts Sideswipe but he's cut off.
"There. Blocked the scrap head," announces Ironhide proudly.
I quietly breathe a sigh of relief, peace at last.
"So….. how did you convince the Hatchet?" questions Ironhide curiously.
So much for peace. I ignore him too.
"You know, you've been quiet for the whole ride. And that's saying a lot considering it's been a good few hours," comments Lennox.
I continue to look out to the sunny sky. I've gone not talking for weeks, a few hours is nothing.
"You've left all of the talking to us," adds Lennox looking over.
But his attempts are futile as I stay silent. I hear Lennox sigh besides me.
"Oh well. We're nearly here now. Home sweet home," comments Lennox as I see from the corner of my eye that his mouth forms into a smile.
Wait….. home? I look ahead to see a farm house up ahead. This isn't the new base.
"Lennox, where are we going?" I ask suspiciously.
"Like I said, home," repeats Lennox, his eyes shining as we slow down.
"Lennox….. You don't want me here…" I say looking down, my hair hiding my face.
"Sure I do. You saved my life," insists Lennox.
"I kissed you. Would your wife be okay with me staying with you guys?" I ask half joking as a last ditch effort.
"It was CPR," grins Lennox wryly.
"You don't want me near your daughter, Lennox," I state firmly.
"Don't be silly. I'm in your debt. You saved my life. Gave me more days with my family. Not many people get that chance," says Lennox solemnly before his mood brightens as Ironhide comes to a complete stop.
"I can't wait to see them," grins Lennox before grabbing his crutches from the back seat and getting out, walking towards his home.
"You're not getting out?" questions Ironhide.
"Get me out of here, Ironhide," I order still looking down, my whole body tense.
It goes silent for a moment as the whole atmosphere around us tenses up.
"Why?" questions Ironhide.
"Why?" I humourlessly laugh, feeling cold.
"Why let me near Lennox and his family?" I ask in turn.
"You saved my charges life when I couldn't. That in itself earns my trust," answers Ironhide, his voice surrounding me.
"Idiots. You both are…. You shouldn't trust me," I say coldly, before I clench my fists, turning them white.
"You shouldn't….." I trail off until I hear a knock at the window making my head snap up, towards the threat, one hand on my dagger.
"Are you coming out?" questions Lennox at the window.
I go to decline as I remove my hand from my dagger but suddenly the door opens and my seat tips downwards and to the side, my seatbelt undoing itself. I fall out of my seat but I land gracefully on my feet even though spiking pain flares up my injured leg making glare at Ironhide as he shuts the door. I'm about to lift my leg up and kick him but I'm stopped by a voice.
"Sarah, this is Shadow. Shadow, this is my beautiful wife, Sarah," introduces Lennox making me look at the blonde woman, wearing skinny jeans and boots as well as a light flowery top.
I nod to her in greeting.
"So you're the woman who kissed my husband," comments Sarah putting me slightly on edge.
Before I can react however, she walks over and gives me a hug. I stiffen up unsure what to do. My instinct is to push her off and attack but I know Ironhide would squash me if I do so.
"It's so nice to meet you sweetheart. Thank you for saving my husband," says Sarah with gratitude thick in her voice, tightening her hug a little and, weirdly, making me start to relax.
I look over to Lennox whose grinning as I glare at him, not knowing what to do.
"It's no problem," I mumble after a second feeling surprised still before she releases me, going back to her husbands side.
Strangely, I feel so cold. I didn't realise how warm a hug is.
"I forgot to say she's a hugger," grins Lennox.
"How long will you both be staying?" asks Mrs Lennox.
"Until I'm cleared for duty. The same for Shadow," answers Lennox.
"I am cleared for duty," I add sourly.
"Until you let Ratchet take a look at you, you're not cleared," replies Lennox firmly.
"Ratchet isn't my doctor," I insist folding my arms.
"Well you can't clear yourself. So it's Ratchet or a human doctor. And since you won't let anyone near you, you have no choice but to relax," explains Lennox.
I stare at him before I turn around.
"Take me back to base, Ironhide," I order.
"You had a bullet wound to the leg Shadow. You need to let your body rest," repeats Lennox.
"I've walked off worse," I counter no emotion in my voice.
"You've had a bullet wound? Oh no honey, you're staying here where it's nice and warm. In a stress free environment," insists Mrs Lennox with concern, making me turn around to face them.
"I'm fine, I just need to-" I start but something bumps into my injured leg and I hiss in pain, turning around and punching the top of Sunstreaker's hood.
"What the pit are you doing femme?!" growls Sunstreaker.
"You're the one who backed into my injured leg. What the hell do you think you're doing?!" I growl as the pain starts to flare back down.
"Making a point, squishy," replies Sunstreaker arrogantly.
I take my dagger and strike downwards towards Sunstreaker but he rolls backwards making me miss.
"Whoa. No weapons out here," commands Lennox as I glare at Sunstreaker.
"Then get me out of here," I say turning my glare to Lennox.
"Why are you so against resting?" asks Lennox.
"I'll rest when I'm dead," I say returning my dagger to its place.
"That will be pretty soon if you keep this up," comments Lennox.
"That will be one less person to worry about then," I reply cold.
We stare down at each other until a sound breaks the tension.
"Annabelle's woken up now," says Mrs Lennox starting to head towards the house.
"Let me get her. I haven't seen her in months," says Lennox rushing forward with his clutches towards the house.
"Don't think I've forgotten about this, sunbeams," I growl towards Sunstreaker, he revs in turn to my unspoken threat.
"Ooooo…. This break is going to be interesting. You two are already getting violent with each other," comments Sideswipe giddy.
"That's not a good thing Sides," scolds Mrs Lennox.
"Hang on. They might kill one another. Let's not stop them," comments Ironhide.
I resist the urge to roll my eyes. His concern is touching, it really is.
"What the pit is that?" questions Sunstreaker backing up.
I turn around to see what he's talking about. Lennox is holding a baby, coming down the steps. I tense up taking a step back, looking gat her baby blue eyes and blonde hair makes my heart beat speed up.
"Geez… It's just a baby. What do you guys call it? A spark- what?" asks Lennox with a confused frown.
"Sparkling," answers Ironhide.
"They cry, fully dependent on others, not toilet trained and they puke," I explain trying to focus on the here and now.
"Eww…. Keep that disgusting creature away from me," orders Sunstreaker rolling backwards behind Sideswipe.
"What's the matter, Sunny? Afraid of a little sparkling?" mocks Sideswipe amused.
"What did you call my beautiful baby girl?" questions Mrs Lennox lowly.
Huh….. It turns out if looks could kill, Sarah would be the most powerful assassin ever. Sunstreaker stays silent.
"Sunstreaker is it? Have you ever you ever woken up with a wrench in your exhaust pipe?" asks Mrs Lennox.
"Pit no!" exclaims Sunstreaker horrified at the thought.
"Then don't ever say that again, got it honey?" says Mrs Lennox, her eyes narrowing.
I hear Ironhide snort in amusement and Lennox grins before turning his attention to Annabelle.
"Hello my beautiful baby girl. Look how big you've gotten. You've grown. You have, oh yes, you have," repeats Lennox his voice higher and ridiculous, a smile on his face.
Annabelle giggles in return. The sound is so foreign to me. I walk around, keeping my distance going towards the house.
"Where are you going? Don't you want to say hello to Annabelle?" questions Lennox behind me.
I lean on the doorway, my leg still hurting. I don't look back but I do speak.
"Keep her away from me," I say darkly before walking in the house.
I need some space: I need to get away from that baby.
—
I keep myself in the guest room at the Lennox's doing my exercises. Enough for it to hurt but not hard it will reopen my wound. Mia may have missed her target but that doesn't mean I'm pain free. I hear a knock at my door.
"Come in," I say gritting my teeth a little as pain flares up at my press up.
"Dinner's read-What are you doing?" snaps Lennox surprised.
"Exercising," I reply simply.
"Get up! Do you want your wound to reopen?" asks Lennox walking in, holding a hand out to me.
I roll my eyes but I stand up.
"So dinner's ready?" I ask changing the subject.
"Yep. Lasagna. She didn't know we was coming, otherwise she would of done a roast dinner," says Lennox letting the subject change.
"Not hungry," I reply looking up to see what I could use to do pull ups.
"You need to keep your strength up," insists Lennox.
"I am," I retort,
Lennox scoffs at that.
"If I'm hungry, I'll grab a snack," I add so he'll leave me alone.
Lennox doesn't look happy but he nods.
"If you want to take a shower or a bath, it's the room down the hall. You can borrow some Sarah's clothes, and shampoo and stuff," says Lennox before leaving.
A bath sounds good.
—-
A few hours later….
After a nice long bath, I come down wearing jeans and a dark tank top. I see a note on the fridge.
'To Shadow, there's lasagna in the fridge in case you're hungry. Feel free to throw it away if you don't like it, Love Sarah x'.
I open the fridge and there is is. Why bother making it when I might not eat it? I reheat it in the microwave trying to keep as quiet as possible since everyone is asleep and I definitely don't want to wake a sleeping baby. I open it up the second it beeps hoping the baby won't hear it. I shuffle around in the kitchen trying to find a fork. As soon as I do, I take a bite. Wow…. This is actually really nice. Before I know it, I've scarfed it all down. It's a nice change to cafeteria food and microwavable cheap meals. I might come down next time as soon as it's ready. I wipe my mouth and make my way back up after washing up after myself. I go to my room before going out the window on the roof.
I look up at the stars. How long has it been since I've seen stars like this? There's no other houses for miles and no lights. There's no light pollution. The stars, I never realise how many there are. I look down to see the Autobots in alt mode in from of the house, probably recharging. They shouldn't put their guard down with me around. I can spot 16 ways I could kill or disable them. The thought coming so natural to me as well as the different escape routes I can take. That's the thought pattern of someone who's always running. You can never stop wondering what everyone's motives are, like Lennox. Why would he let me into his home, where his wife and baby is after I've just killed someone? Mia brought up important valid points and they've ignored that. Why? What's the end game? To make my guard drop? It can't be that because he puts his family first. He wouldn't put them in danger just to get my guard down.
"You look like you're thinking hard about something," says a male voice next to me.
I react instinctively, my dagger swings out towards the voice as I turn but an arm blocks the attack.
"Ironhide?" I ask, as I move my arm away.
The holoform nods in reply.
"I have been sitting here next to you for a while now. How you didn't see me with your own optics, I don't know," comments Ironhide.
Holoforms don't make a sound when they appear.
"I was in deep thought. My guard must of slipped. It won't happen again," I say with certainty.
"What's bothering you, kid?" questions Ironhide.
"Kid?" I ask with an eyebrow raised.
"You are millions of years younger than me," answers Ironhide.
"That just means you're really ancient," I reply before turning my gaze back to the starry sky.
"Hmph. Are you going to keep avoiding the subject?" asks Ironhide in turn.
Maybe Ironhide can give some outside perspective.
"I don't understand. How can Lennox let me inside his home so easily?" I question puzzled, a frown on my face.
Ironhide stays quiet for a moment as I continue to look at the stars.
"I wondered the same thing when I first came here. I'm giant, armed to the brim, basically a walking massive cannon. And yet, Lennox and Sarah welcomed me into their home. They trust me with their sparkling. Do you know how long it's been since I've seen a sparkling? Something so precious. So fragile and they trust us with it. They are good people. Do not betray their trust, Shadow," says Ironhide, his voice so soft at the beginning, turns to stone, eyes narrowing at me, an underlying threat in his voice.
"I told you to take me back." I say in turn.
"They are giving you a chance. You should take it," says Ironhide gently.
"What if I don't want to take it?" I ask softly in return.
Silence covers the land as a breeze pushes my hair back. I don't look to see his reaction to my words. Instead, I stand up and head back to my room to sleep.
—
Child like laughter floats around me. The laughter soon turns to screams and cries. The bright blue sky turns into rain, and thunder and lightening. Images flash in front of me. A group of children. My heart begins to race rapidly. Men with guns surrounding them. A face flashes in front of me. A little girl with blonde hair and blue eyes. A cold feeling envelopes me.
"Please. Stop!"
I wake up to someone hovering over me. Their hand reaching for my shoulder. I act immediately, grabbing a dagger and diving forward. I pin him to the floor as he shouts in surprise. My dagger to his throat as I breathe heavily, drenching in sweat.
"Woah! Crazy femme!" shouts the man.
I hear the door slam open.
"Shadow! What are you doing?!" questions a familiar voice but I ignore them, the dagger digging into my targets neck.
"Violet. It's Sunstreaker in holoform. It's okay. You're safe," says the familiar voice softly.
I suddenly snap out of it as I turn my head to Lennox.
What?
I look back down to the blonde man with bright blue eyes.
"Yeah. It's me so get off me you crazy femme!" snaps Sunstreaker underneath me.
I compose myself as I get off Sunstreaker. My leg is throbbing painfully now the adrenaline is gone as we stand. I even my breathing back out.
"What happened?" asks Lennox shocked.
"Pit if I know! I come to wake her up like I was told to do. She was murmuring in her recharge and frowning so I hovered over her, the next thing I know, I'm on the floor with a dagger to my throat," exclaims Sunstreaker offended.
"You should never wake me up if I'm sleeping. I'm always on high alert," I say.
"This isn't my fault! You were the one pinning me down," replies Sunstreaker
"Wait- you were having a nightmare?" asks Lennox curious, only now just picking up what Sunstreaker said earlier.
I tense up and compose myself.
"No, I don't get nightmares," I deny.
I recall memories. Seeing Lennox's daughter must of triggered it. My dreams have come back. I knew this would happen.
"Shadow. You know you can talk to any one of us if-" starts Lennox but I don't let him finish.
"I want to get changed, so get out," I say coldly, not in the mood.
"This is the gratitude I get," mumbles Sunstreaker before he disappears.
Lennox looks like he wants to say something but instead he turns his back.
"Pancakes are downstairs if you want any," says Lennox before shutting the door.
I put a hand to my chest feeling my heart racing still. I close my eyes and take deep breaths. Guess I should start my exercises. It'll help clear my head. I found a place for my pull ups, the window. I climb out and hang out of the window, as I start my pull ups.
I start counting, trying to block out the dream. I try to block out the laughter and the screams but it's hard. So I focus on counting but in different languages. As many as I can think of. This is one of the reasons I didn't want to stay. The dream starts up again. The memory. It only serves as a distraction. Something hard to shake off.
I hear a scream but it's not from a memory. I look down to see Sarah Lennox screaming looking up at me. I roll my eyes at her as I go back to my pull ups.
Lennox runs out to see what the problem is, a pancake still in his mouth.
"What is it? Oh geez…." asks Lennox before looking up at me.
"What are you doing, Shadow?" shouts Lennox up at me although I could hear him perfectly fine.
I ignore him and continue to do my pull ups.
"Is she doing pull ups?" asks Mrs Lennox curiously.
"She's going to be the death of me," comments Lennox tiredly.
Hmmm…. I am capable of killing him if I choose to…. meh…
"What if she falls?" asks Mrs Lennox concerned.
"I say let her fall," comments Ironhide.
And there's the Ironhide we all know and love.
"Ew… No. I don't want her fleshy guts to hit me when she goes splat," protests Sunstreaker backing up.
Their concern just melts my heart.
"Look. I'm not going to fall," I insist trying to get them to shut up.
"Now let's let's stay positive. You could," says Ironhide oh so helpful.
"Even if I fall, I can land just fine," I add.
"You have a bad leg," points out Sideswipe.
"I can land fine," I repeat firmer.
It'll be hard but I can land okay…ish. Well…. I won't go splat.
"Just…. let's just leave her to it. If she hurts herself, she'll have to deal with Ratchet," says Lennox, going back inside.
Mrs Lennox reluctantly follows him but not before calling out to me.
"Pancakes are still warm if you want them."
Maybe I should try one. I pull myself back up and start to head downstairs. I hiss as I start going down the stairs, my leg screaming in protest. I lean against the wall as I walk down. I take a moment to compose myself. After all, never let them see the weakness.
—
"So then I cut him in two, even slicing his optic in half," explains Sideswipe gleefully as I run around the farm. Sideswipe is driving behind me slowly. Sunstreaker watching from a far.
"She doesn't care, gear head," interrupts Sunstreaker.
"She does, she has been listening intently for the last hour," says Sideswipe.
"She's been ignoring you, idiot," replies Sunstreaker.
I decided to go for a run around the farm, some light, exercise for my leg to help strengthen it but Sideswipe decided to join me and tell me about his so called legendary stories, with Sunstreaker butting in from a far every now and again across Sideswipe's radio.
"You know you should come out here, Sunny," comments Sideswipe.
"Don't call me that! Besides why should I? My tires would get dirty from all of the mud. This planet is so dirty and disgusting. Why couldn't Prime pick a cleaner planet to be on?" complains Sunstreaker.
"Doesn't matter. We're coming towards you," says Sideswipe ignoring Sunstreaker's complaints.
I jog over to the fence where Sunstreaker is waiting. I breathe deeply as I lean forward. I'm so thirsty. I should of brought a drink. My leg is throbbing. I think that's enough exercise for today. I know I push myself but if I push anymore then I'm going to tear open the wound.
"Not that I'm an expert on the human body or anything but running should be bad for your leg, shouldn't it?" comments Sideswipe.
"A bit of exercise is healthy. It helps strengthen the muscles," I explain through breaths.
"Oh yeah, Ratchet wants us to scan you and send it to him so he can rec-" starts Sideswipe.
"No," I cut him off, standing straight.
"But-" starts Sideswipe.
"No," I repeat.
"Ratchet would have to come visit you a lot to see your leg. He might as well be here," says Sideswipe.
"Whatever," I shrug.
I hear some weird static before Sunstreaker and Sideswipe both reverse a bit in shock. I look at them both, my head turning from one to the other suspicious and curious.
"Next time you can tell Ratchet when you refuse to do something he wants," comments Sideswipe, practically explaining everything with those words.
A wryly smirk reaches my lips in amusement.
"What did he say?" I ask amused.
"Uncooperative pit spawn femme was among one of the things he said," answers Sunstreaker a little amused himself.
"Well he's not wrong," I admit, leaning against the fence.
"You stir him up almost as much as me and Sunny," comments Sideswipe amused as well.
"Don't call me Sunny!" growls Sunstreaker.
"Oh yeah, I heard about what happened in the bedroom earlier," comments Sideswipe and I can just hear his smirk.
Sunstreaker groans knowing whats coming as I growl under my breath.
"Do you guys want to be left alone together? After all you did pin him to the floor earlier," comments Sideswipe mischievously.
"Sideswipe," warns Sunstreaker in a dark tone while I glare at Sideswipe not saying a word.
"Did you enjoy it, Sunny? After all, how long has it been since you've been that close to a femme?" asks Sideswipe highly amused.
"Not as long as it's been for you," replies Sunstreaker turning the tables against him.
"Pft. What are you implying? I can totally get any femme I want, and when I want," replies Sideswipe cockily.
"Oh really?" retorts Sunstreaker hiding his own smirk.
"Yeah!" exclaims Sideswipe before he comes towards me.
"So how you doing?" asks Sideswipe in a low tone.
"I will slash your tires," I state, making a promise, not a threat.
Sunstreaker laughs as Sideswipe backs away from me quickly. It goes silent around us as I look around, the fields.
"Human….." says Sunstreaker in a rough tone after a few minutes.
"Cybertronian…." I reply back keeping my back to him, I hear a small annoyed growl from him.
"You never told me how you knew my name," says Sunstreaker.
Right….. When we was in the battlefield I told him I would tell him how I knew his name after it was over.
"Hasn't Sideswipe told you?" I ask folding my arms and closing my eyes.
"I don't believe him," says Sunstreaker firmly.
I look over my shoulder to Sunstreaker, opening my eyes lazily.
"Which part? That I'm from another dimension? Or you're all in a movie?" I question.
"All of it. You're just a government spy that was given information about us and you've been using that to try to prove your from a different dimension," says Sunstreaker.
"Interesting theory but no. I would never be someone's lapdog," I state honestly.
"But you can't be from another dimension," denies Sunstreaker.
"I am though," I say.
"So you're telling me that everything that's happened, our past, the comrades we lost, every win, every lost and everything that will happen, is decided by a human?" asks Sunstreaker rigidly, underlying anger in his voice.
I frown, any previous amusement gone. When he puts it that way, it's stupid. I can understand Sunstreaker's denial and anger. I would be peeved too if a random person I don't really know, told me everything that's happened has been planned from the start for someone's entertainment. That I've never really had a real choice in my life. And everything that I will do isn't my choice either. I would refuse to believe it.
"Maybe that's not how it happens. Maybe they can see what happens to us and they believe it's their own thoughts and creation. Everyone has a choice, there's no fate or destiny. We choose how our lives will go and we deal with the consequences from our choices," I explain looking up at the sky.
Sunstreaker and Sideswipe stay silent, thinking deeply over my words. My life will not be controlled.
—-
Controlled. I refuse. I refuse to be someone's puppets. To be on autopilot. Given orders and following them to the point. No questions ask. No thinking. Just action. Just following orders blindly. I won't do that. I won't be controlled by a human or some higher power. To be put on a path, never making a choice, everything I do already determined. Well that just won't do. I won't be on autopilot, following one path. I can not be controlled.