Hello everyone. I'll try to make this quick so you can get onto the story you want to read.
Thank you to my followers and for the people who have favourite and kept reading my story despite lack of updates.
Thanks to my reviewers: nObOdY, xVentressx, Edges05, Til' all are one, Guest, CodeNameBLOOD, Bee4ever, lizziecats. If I have not yet replied to your review then I am deeply sorry, I'll reply tomorrow so please don't think that I don't care because I really really really do!
My Guest reviews:
nObOdY: I love the relationship between Violet and Sunstreaker! and Ironhide and Violet :) PLEASE UPDATE TOMORROW! Your story is AWESOME!
Sorry it took about a month for me to update since your review, if I only could update every day that would be amazing. I had to rewrite this chapter. I hate that I'm dragging this out but I have no choice because I want to put some character development in before certain things happened. Thank you so much! I love the relationship between Violet and Sunny, as well as Ironhide and Violet. They are so much fun to write! Thank you so much for reviewing it means the world to me :)
Guest (chapter 1): I admit, I skimmed this chapter, then I read reviews. I'm reading this on my iPhone, and holy cow. Have you read this on a cellphone? Huge chapters are mushed together. Quite painful to read. No one mentioned it in any reviews. Maybe it's less painful to read on a laptop.
I never actually noticed how much I write each chapter. Does everyone see this as a problem? If so I will try to shorten the chapters but I don't have much control over how much I write as stupid as that sounds because it just comes out if that makes sense. I understand why you skimmed it but I would really appreciate if you read each word as I pour my heart and soul into writing. Maybe you could read it for 10 minutes then take a break and read a bit more at a later time? Thank you for calling this to my attention and reviewing and reading my story :)
Guest (chapter 2): Is Vi part snake? She hisses a lot. She smirks a lot, too. Maybe some new descriptive words could be used. The story itself seems okay, though there are a few spelling errors, and loads of areas where commas are missing.
One thing that stands out is when you use "of" instead of "have."
"I could of killed you!" should be "I could have killed you!" though, alternatively, you could've gone with something slangy like "I coulda killed you!" or a simple "I could've killed you!" In that last example, I think that's where you get mixed up. Could've and could of sound very similar phonetically, but they are not literally the same.
Interesting so far, although her character seems a bit unbelievable. She's 22, and the Shadow has been a ruthless killer for the last twenty years. So Vi has been a perfect assassin since birth? Vi seems to be a mix of Elektra and O-Ren Ishii (the character from Kill Bill who saw her parents murdered when she was a child).
I'll read a few more chapters, to see how this progresses. However, you may want to edit it at a later time.
Me: Thank you so much for giving me some constructive criticism! :D I never realised how many smirks I used in the first chapter, I have used a lot more descriptive words over the years . I will try to remember the could have instead of could of's but I can't promise anything because in my head they seem the same. The first chapter I wrote over 3 years ago maybe two, since I write it out before I type it up. I just realised 3 years! I am so sorry guys I never knew I've been updating it so slowly it's been 3 years and I'm not even half way through. I will at some point probably edit it but after I finish the story. If you noticed the wording I used is around 20 years which could be anywhere between 16-20 years. I've never actually seen that movie so I can't agree with you or disagree with you on that.
Guest (chapter 15): This is so good I love it.
Thank you so much, hopefully you'll love the next chapter :)
Thank you to my beta: Jazzilynn Hall
Chapter 16
It's been a month and a few weeks at the Lennox's and my leg has begin to heal nicely. I've done my best to avoid everyone especially the baby. I've started doing some farm work. I don't like being indebted to someone, even if they are making me stay while my leg heals. The animals do not like me at all. They can sense I'm a hunter, a predator. Lennox has mostly stayed off his feet to help heal himself (not that he's had a choice, Mrs Lennox has forced him to stay down) and I've been doing the same to be honest. I've…. I've stayed on the bed a lot when I'm not doing exercises. Ratchet visited me for the first two weeks. He mostly looked over Lennox because he's injury is more severe but he's had his time to annoy me too. I never let him scan me, he could only go by what he saw and the questions I answered. He would visit once a week and today would happen to be one of those days.
"I don't understand why you won't let me scan you. It's much more effective," complains Ratchet.
I stay silent as he looks at the mostly healed wound.
"Remember our conversation after I got shot?" I ask back.
"You gave me a doctors note that said only your doctor can see you and deal with your injuries," answers Ratchet.
"Exactly," I state.
"The note was from you," comments Ratchet dryly.
"Yes. I'm my own doctor and you have to respect doctor patient confidentiality. Besides when you have a wound, don't you take care of it if your able to?" I question in turn.
"I'm a real doctor though," protests Ratchet.
"So am I. Experience is more important than a PhD," I point out.
"…You're impossible to deal with," states Ratchet irritated.
I stay silent to that. He's not wrong. I don't play well with others.
"It's healing quickly. You'll be back at the base in no time," comments Ratchet standing up straight. I roll down my trouser leg.
Good. I don't want to be here another minute.
"How are you finding it here?" asks Ratchet.
"I hate it," I reply instantly.
"Hate it?" questions Ratchet confused and slightly shocked.
"Yes. I can't do anything productive here. I'm wasting time here," I complain.
"You have a bullet wound," comments Ratchet.
"That hasn't stopped me before," I say my eyes narrowing.
"So this isn't your first bullet wound," observes Ratchet.
I resist the urge to scoff before I realized I've said more than I've liked. Of course they don't already know that, I'm so tight lipped about myself how would they. I stay silent as I look away.
"You know I'm surprised you don't have any post traumatic stress from-" starts Ratchet.
"Are we done?" I ask cutting in, stopping the conversation from going any further.
"…..Yes," says Ratchet unhappy.
I stand up and go outside without any word. Ratchet follows but only because Lennox is outside, lying down with Annabelle in his arms. As soon as Ratchet comes over he puts Annabelle next to his lawn chair. I begin to think about my stay here. Even though I've told Ratchet that I hate it, it's not been too bad. Sarah Lennox is very motherly and sweet but she does not take no for an answer. After a month I finally sat down with them to eat dinner. It was…. weird. They mostly spoke but Mrs Lennox tried to get me to speak a little.
—
Flashback…
"Shadow, would you like to sit with us for a roast dinner?" questions Mrs Lennox.
I look over to the table and then at my food. Sure…. Why not this one time? After all it'll be hard to get it upstairs with my bad leg and I don't want it to go cold. Besides, I've missed all of her other dinner meals deciding to do myself something. She never complained that I never at the meals she prepared. I nod, surprising them both but they smile, happy with my response. I sit on the end of the table while Mr and Mrs Lennox sit at the other end with the baby. Besides if there's an ulterior motive for getting me to sit at the table with them, like some sort of trap, I have a knife in hand, dagger in my belt and 3 visible exits. I start eating, listening to them talk. They joke around and smile a lot. It's….. weird. Can they really be this happy? Lennox feeds Annabelle making silly train and airplane noises. It's so stupid but it unexpectedly draws me in. Is this what my life could of been like if I was normal? I can't help but wonder about the possibilities.
"So Shadow, do you have any family?" asks Mrs Lennox directing her attention to me.
"No," I state easily, before taking a bite. This is really good food.
"Really? Any boyfriends?" questions Lennox.
"No," I repeat casually, but it probably doesn't sound casual.
"That must be lonely," comments Mrs Lennox softly.
I shrug in response. It really doesn't matter to me.
"Not that a woman needs a man to be happy but it really helps to have that one person to be close to. One person I can be truly open with," explains Mrs Lennox holding Lennox's hand and smiling at him.
"That leaves you vulnerable. He can easily turn against you," I comment casually.
Lennox's head snaps up towards me.
"Dude!" exclaims Lennox giving me a look that says I shouldn't of said that.
"But that's the point. Yes, it leaves you vulnerable. However I know he would never betray me. It's a two way street, he opens up to me and I won't ever betray him. You'll understand when you find that person," says Mrs Lennox unbothered by my attitude.
I scoff out loud. Highly doubtful.
"If I'm stupid enough to do that, have Sideswipe and Sunstreaker do an embarrassing prank on me that ends with Ironhide blasting me with his cannons," I say seriously.
"You're really against trusting people, aren't you?" asks Lennox.
"Yes. In fact, I'm trying to figure out what ulterior motives you have right not," I reply honestly.
"Ulterior motives?" asks Mrs Lennox confused and slightly amused.
"Yes. You let a stranger in your house to stay for a few weeks. Why?" I question my eyes narrowing.
"I've told you Shadow. I trust you. You saved my life. Why would you hurt me after saving me? It makes no sense," answers Lennox.
"It makes perfect sense. It could be I'm gaining your trust so I can infiltrate your home and kill your entire family to make sure you suffer before killing you," I reply with ease, making Mrs Lennox's eyes widen.
"Is that a confession?" asks Lennox in turn, keeping his face neutral, staring at me straight in the eye.
I keep his eye contact staring at him evenly.
"You have no motive," points out Mrs Lennox making us brake eye contact.
"I don't need a motive. Psycho's kill for the fun, the thrill or simply because they want to. I could be like one of them," I reply simply.
"You're not a psycho, Shadow. You don't act like one," says Lennox certain.
"If psychopaths acted like psychopaths they would be locked up before they have a chance to kill," I state.
"You can say what you want Shadow. You're trying to freak us out so I'll send you back to base. Not happening," says Lennox firmly with a small grin.
I shrug to that.
"If I wanted to freak you out I would succeed. I'm not afraid to cross lines. I just want to know why you would let me stay with you when there are clearly dangers," I say.
"Kindness," says Sarah Lennox surprising me though I'm careful not to show it
"Kindness?" I ask not believing it for one bit.
"We like to believe in the best of people," says Lennox making me scoff.
"You'll be sorely disappointed then," I say before going back to eating.
"I like to think I'll be pleasantly surprised," retorts Lennox. I inwardly roll my eyes but I stay quiet.
Lennox and Sarah Lennox goes back to eating and talking but I couldn't stop thinking. Are they really showing kindness?
Flashback over.
I still wonder that. I haven't seen any signs of deceit. In fact, they've been giving me space but at the same time inviting. Asking if I want to watch a movie with them. If I want to go out with them, etc. it's annoying. I can't read them. No one is that nice witho- My thoughts are interrupted when I feel the need to turn around. I do so to see little baby Annabelle standing in front of me, smiling her blue eyes sparkling as she giggles. My muscles tense up like I'm confronting an enemy and I freeze. What do I do? I look over to see Lennox and Ratchet talking not paying attention. Annabelle starts walking towards me and I glare at her so she'll move away from me but she doesn't, she continues ahead. I want to back up so I can get away from her but that's ridiculous. She's a baby, I'm an assassin. I'm not going to show fear to a baby. However, I notice she's wobbling. She's gonna-I automatically put my hand out in front of her bending down. She lands on my arm and smiles up at me. Without realizing it, I slowly start to smile back but before i can properly smile, a cold feeling enters my heart and I look up to Lennox and Ratchet who are now watching me.
"Get her away from me Lennox," I order, my eyes narrowing and glaring, as I put my arm higher so Annabelle can stand up straight.
As soon as Lennox picks her up I walk away, Lennox gives Annabelle to Ratchet.
"Why?" asks Lennox following me.
I stop and turn to him.
"You don't want me near your daughter Lennox," I state knowingly.
He doesn't want a monster near his baby daughter.
"Why?" insists Lennox but I stay quiet.
"You know I'm trying to be patient with you Shadow, I've given you space and time so you'll open up and talk," says Lennox.
"I don't owe you an explanation," I bite back.
"Yes you do. You don't tell us anything about you or your past. I'm starting to believe you killed Mia because she was going to tell us about you," accuses Lennox.
"I killed her because she was going to send the next bases co-ordinates to the Decepticons. She was crazy," I state coldly.
"Really? Because it's funny that you decide to kill her right before she was going to tell us about your past," says Lennox confronting me.
The other Autobots watching intently.
"I killed her just before she pressed the button. Would you rather I let her press it?" I ask in turn.
"You didn't have to kill her. There were other ways!" exclaims Lennox.
"Maybe but this way was most effective," I state detached.
That should be something they all understand. What's the most effective route? It's something everyone has to think about in battle.
"You couldn't be sure she would press the button," says Lennox.
"Yes I could because she hated me," I reply.
"But why would she hate you? It doesn't make any sense. You're from a different dimension so you've never met," rants Lennox confused.
I looked at her file. It makes perfect sense. They just don't know that. They don't understand. Mia wanted to kill me, she had pure hate towards me. She had every reason to hate me because of what I did in my past. The question is how did she know?
"The reasons why she hates me doesn't matter. What mattered is that she was committing treason, she let her emotions guide her. It made her sloppy and weak," I divert that little subject.
"She wasn't weak. When she joined the army she was willing to put her life on the line. To go into battle. And emotions? Emotions are what drives us, it's what makes us strong," exclaims Lennox passionately.
"If that's true then why is she dead and I'm still alive?" I question a twisted smirk on my face.
They stay silent and I see Lennox's fist shake, wanting to prove me wrong.
"Emotion, family and friends, loved ones. They just tie you down and make you weak, the sooner you realize that the better," I say my back to him looking straight away.
"You're wrong."
Surprisingly that isn't Lennox, it's Sunstreaker. I turn around to face him.
"If I'm wrong then why is that I'm still alive while Mia who was controlled by emotions is dead? Shouldn't I be the one dead?" I ask, my head cocked to the side.
No one has an answer to that.
"It's the strong who survive, nothing more than that," I say my voice devoid of emotion.
"Even the strong fall," counters back Sunstreaker, making a small wryly smirk appear on my face.
My next words thick with my accent.
"That may be true but they last far longer than the weak."
—
2cm's off. It took a while but I walked far off the Lennox's territory until I could find the woods. I knew there would be some somewhere, all farm like land have some nearby for firewood. Of course, there's central heating now but there wasn't when the house was originally built. I'm doing target practise with my daggers. It's been a while since I've used them, not since the base. I've missed the feel of them in my hands. I twirl the dagger over my fingers before I throw to the right side of me. It's isolated, quiet, no people. It's what I'm use to. It brings me at ease. I've craved targets into the trees. I walk over to the dagger in the tree and pull it out. I close my eyes and focus on my surroundings, I can hear the gentle rustle of the leaves as the wind blows through them. A few birds singing in the distance. My heartbeat is the loudest as I breathe.
In and out.
In and-
My eyes shoot open as I breathe out and I move. I run in the shadows of the trees throwing at my first target. I carry on running, shooting a dagger at the next target instinctively throwing it in that direction. I climb up one of the trees and jump from tree to tree, keeping in the shadows, I throw another dagger diagonally, down to my left and right having two targets at the same time. I hang upside down on one of the thick branches and throw 4 daggers at different targets in under 3 seconds. I drop down landing in crouch position. My leg is a little sore but it's completely bearable. I try to keep my breathing quiet, treating this like a real mission.
I hear a rustling behind me so I act immediately. I throw my dagger and I hear a shout of surprise. I run over keeping to the shadows before I come out of the bushes, seeing a blonde man on the floor, my dagger engraved in the tree a few feet behind. I put my foot on the person's back, keeping them down. I feel them freeze up.
"Who are you? And what are you doing here?" I demand my voice quiet in case there's more people around.
He's either a spy or someone from a local farm. I doubt he's a farmer looking for firewood thought, there's no houses around for miles an- Before I can continue my thought, a hand grabs my ankle and pulls with a lot of strength, making me fall and close my eyes. The man pins to the floor. This isn't some amateur hold, he knows what he's doing. I open my eyes ready to knee the guy but I stop recognize the face.
"Sunstreaker?" I ask my eyes narrowed.
"Damn femme. I'm not getting pinned down by you again," growls Sunstreaker in my face in his holoform.
"Well it's a bit late. I got you down first," I retort.
"You caught me off guard. You threw a dagger at me. If I was a fleshy, I would of died because of your species slow reflexes. How you've survived this long in this weak flesh suit you call skin is beyond me," insults Sunstreaker.
I scowl at him.
"That's just excuses. Whether I throw a dagger at you or not, a pin is a pin. You can't ever let your guard down, especially if someone's just took a shot at you," I reply ignoring his arrogant insults.
"Can't ever let your guard down? Then how did we end up in this position? Did you let your guard slip? Or did I manage to get you with your guard up? Either way you're at my mercy human," mocks Sunstreaker smirking, his face low and close to mine.
I glare at him as he speak and grit my teeth. He's an annoying piece of slag. I move quickly kneeing him in the gut, making his hold slacken before I lift both legs up around his waist and slam him down to the side and rolling, making our positions reverse.
"Who's got who pinned down?" I smirk in his face by long hair dangling down.
He opens his mouth, probably to retort but I beat him to it speaking again.
"Oh that's right. It's the weak fleshy with slow reflexes, isn't it, tin man?" I mockingly ask right in his stupid fake face as my black and purple highlighted hair drops even more in face.
He glares at me, his eyes narrow as he opens his mouth before he stiffens considerably and his eyes widen, his mouth limp. What's wrong? Why is he suddenly shock-Oh. I stand up immediately and fix my hair making sure it covers my left eye, back in its usual style. He stands up slower than me still looking flabbergasted.
"Y-Your eye-" starts Sunstreaker my back to him.
"It's nothing," I interrupt sharply my guard slammed high up.
"But-" starts Sunstreaker his eyes narrowed and no longer showing shock.
This time I'm not the one to interrupt him.
"Shadow, I thought I heard your voice," comments Mrs Lennox coming out of the bushes nearby.
"Oh Sunstreaker you've found her too," adds Mrs Lennox looking to the holoform.
I barely hear him mutter, "I wish I hadn't."
"What are you doing way out here?" asks Mrs Lennox curious and puzzled.
"I was doing some target practice. Why are you out here?" I ask masking my confusion as I turn to face her.
"What do I mean why am I out here? I was looking for you. You just disappeared. Next time leave a note, I was worried," explains Mrs Lennox concerned.
"You was worried… about me?….. Why? Sunstreaker had already been sent to find me. I'm highly skilled in fighting and I'm of no real use to you," I state highly confused, trying to wrap my head around why she would be worried.
We don't know each other really. I'm no use to her unless she wants me to kill someone or beat them up. So how can she be worried? I feel puzzled and surprised. She can't be serious can she? She looks at me with a mix of emotions: Shock, confused, and something else I can't pinpoint. She closes her mouth which was dropped slightly open and walks closer to me.
"You know….. you don't have to be of use to someone for them to worry about you," says Mrs Lennox gently putting her hand on my arm, making me tense up for a second before my muscles relax under her gentle touch.
I feel Sunstreaker's gaze on me as I look into Mrs Lennox's eyes trying to see anything to indicate that she's lying or trying to trick me but all I see is that foreign emotion in her eyes. I don't understand. I'm not family or a long term friend, if I died it wouldn't affect her life at all except for the fact I would be out of her house faster. People are worried because they don't want to lose something important that can help them. I don't understand. I keep my eyes locked onto hers until I realize what the emotion is, making me step back away from her, her hand falling off my arm.
It's pity.
Why does she pity me? I could kill her in seconds. I'm more powerful then her. So why? Why does she pity me? I don't understand. Why is she looking at me like that? Don't…. Don't do that. Don't look at me with those eyes. I look at Sunstreaker from the corner of my eye and he look confused at me, like he doesn't understand why I'm confused. Though confused is a huge understatement. Doesn't he understand? He's been in a war for hundreds of years, surely he understands it's pointless to worry about those who are useless to you and lesser than you. That people only worry about things that they can use.
"Shadow?" asks Mrs Lennox gently, snapping me out of it.
I harden my features and turn my back to them.
"I need to get my weapons," I state my voice devoid of emotion as I start heading back the way I came.
"Okay. I'll come wit-" starts Mrs Lennox.
"Don't. I'll come back to your property in a bit," I cut off coldly.
"Alright. I suppose I'll go tell everyone that we've found you so they can stop searching," says Mrs Lennox hesitantly.
"Everyone is searching?" I ask surprised but I hide my slight shock.
"Well yeah. Ironhide has Annabelle in him at the moment so he's patrolling the house in case you came back," answers Mrs Lennox.
I nod not quite sure what to say to that.
"I've already let everyone know," comments Sunstreaker quietly.
I nod again and walk in the bushes, emerging myself in the shadows of the forest.
I start collecting my weapons. Why did they all search for me? I don't understand. They couldn't all be worried can they? And more importantly, why does it make me feel slightly warm inside?
—-
As soon as I'm at the end of the fence and on the Lennox's drive, I see Lennox stomping towards me glaring. Everyone except Mrs Lennox is waiting for me.
"How could you leave without telling anyone? Do you know how reckless that is? We have the Autobots here for a reason. To watch over and protect us. You went so far a Decepticon could of attacked you and we wouldn't reach you until it's way past too late," rants Lennox angrily.
I walk past him letting him rave, impassively.
"He's not wrong Shadow. That was an unwise move," comments Ironhide lowly as he transforms in his bipedal mode
I guess Mrs Lennox has Annabelle inside. I walk past all of them, my back to them as I hear the sounds of transformation. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe.
"Do you know how dangerous that was?! How hard would it of been to tell someone or leave a note?! All we know is that you disappeared. Do you know how worried we all were?!" rants Lennox behind me but I stay silent to him as my irritation and anger builds up.
"Aren't you going to say something?" snaps Lennox.
I turn around to face all of them.
"You're all idiots," I say harshly, my anger bleeding through.
"Excuse me?" asks Lennox shocked and annoyed.
"There's no reason for you to come looking for me. I'm a grown woman whose been in more than a fair share of fights. You all decide to leave the safety of the house and go into the woods to look for one person. If there was a Decepticon you wouldn't be able to do something as a human Lennox. And if I was taken then I might of been bait luring you all to a trap. You let Sarah go out and search for me, she could of been attacked by a human never mind by a con," I rant hotly.
"We took safety measures. One Autobot for each human. So if Sarah or Will was attacked we would know. But pit even if it was a trap we would of come to save you," explains Ironhide.
"That would of been foolish and stupid," I insult honestly.
"We would never leave you in Decepticon hands. Each and every one of us would of come," insists Lennox making me shake my head.
Lies. That's all it is: Lies!
"Oh bite me! You would never do that. Everyone puts their own life first," I bite back.
"Of course we would. We're not Decepticons, we're there for our teammates no matter what," speaks out Sideswipe.
"Stop pretending to care!" I exclaim silencing them.
I breathe heavy, my blood rushing from my swirling emotions.
"Don't you dare…. Don't any one of you dare pretend to give a damn about me. Once the machine is found or my useful ends, none of you would care where I was, if a Decepticon has me or not. So don't pretend to care…" I say lowly, my glare like burning ice.
I turn and enter the house, not looking at their reactions. I concentrate on beating down my emotions, concentrating so much I don't ever hear the conversation taking place outside.
"That ungrateful femme! We search for her and this is the thanks we get!" complains Ironhide annoyed.
"She thought we would leave her to Decepticons. After everything, she thinks we would abandon her to Decepticons," comments Lennox hurt.
"Only cowards leave their team mates behind, and I am no coward," huffs Sideswipe with hurt pride.
"None of you noticed," comments Sunstreaker breaking the mood.
"Noticed what?" asks Sideswipe with interest.
"That was the first time she dropped the formalities and called Mrs Lennox by her first name. She doesn't call anyone by their first name or nickname, at least not out loud," comments Sunstreaker.
Everyone stops and thinks about what Sunstreaker has said, realizing how true that statement is.
—
Frozen. Just cold ice all around me. I feel so empty and cold inside and out. The ice rock solid. That's how it's always been. Always cold… so cold….. So very cold. The feeling of nothingness set inside me. But wait…. I feel different suddenly. I feel a warm glow in my chest. And slowly, so very slowly, the ice begins to melt. Maybe the most frozen of hearts can be thawed….